Bravehearts Rising

Minisode #6 - When Everything is Shifting

• Lisa Pascoe

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In this mini episode of the Bravehearts Rising Podcast, I talk about uncertainty and the importance of checking in with yourself when everything is shifting. I also talk about grief, grounding and ways to support yourself. 

Being human is messy. Remember, you're not alone!

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Read the full transcript here

As always, any feedback welcome to lisa@lisapascoe.com

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Lisa Pascoe:

Hello, and welcome to a mini episode of the Bravehearts Rising podcast. I'm your host, Lisa Pascoe, and I am so delighted to be here with you in this moment. I always feel the need to take a deep breath at the beginning of these conversations, and episodes because, well, there's so much going on in the world right now. And things are moving at a really fast pace. And yet, sometimes I look back to last week, and it feels like months have passed. And I wanted to acknowledge that because time is really feeling strange. At least that's my experience at the moment. So if that's you, too, you are not alone. So today's episode is tentatively called in the face of uncertainty. And I wanted to talk about this because, well, today is a full moon, 19th of November 2021, for future listeners, and full moons are a great time for letting go. We are also approaching winter. And this is the season for creating space, letting things fall away, often associated with death. And, in fact, I want to start off this episode by quoting some beautiful words by Lindsay Mack, who is Wild Soul Healing on Instagram. And it was in her November monthly medicine newsletter. And they ask, what are we so bored with so complete with but feel like we don't know another way forward? We are exhausted with the effort of trying to keep the wheel moving. So we might as well try the only thing we haven't played with yet, moving off the wheel entirely and trying something totally new. And I share this because it really resonated with me. And I know that for a lot of you listening, you're also going through a period of change and things are shifting, and it's easy to get stuck in the day to day, like the daily grind. It's easy to get stuck in familiar patterns that keep us safe. It's easy to get caught up in routine. So what I love about full moons and new moons, and kind of living in line with the lunar cycles is they offer us natural, cyclical invitations to slow down to pause and become intentional, and ask ourselves important questions like what's going well for me right now? What's shifting? What am I ready to release or change? And, you know, this is such an important thing to do when it comes to creating a life that feels good to you. But it's also like, authentic for you like is in integrity for you. For those of you who've been listening for a while you will know I'm not someone who advocates permanent positivity. It's not about creating a life that is all roses, but it is about creating a life in which you feel supported, in which you have tools and rituals for grounding, for being honest with yourself, and for navigating the changes and the things that life throws at you like these are really fundamental and important things. And when we get caught up in routine and we don't slow down, we miss the subtle signs, we miss our intuitive cues that something needs to change. And ultimately, we can end up going down a different path or we can end up burning out because we're not listening to ourselves and we can end up unhappy as well. So it's really, really important. If you take one thing away from this episode, it's to slow down and check in with yourself. And so there are four things that I want to share with you in this mini episode. And what they are are grief, acceptance, grounding, and knowing. So let me speak more on those. So firstly, you know, personally, I really feel like things are shifting for me I have for much of this year been questioning, you know, what is my role in the world? What impact do I want to have? Where do I belong? And that's led to me doing a lot of self awareness work, a lot of work on my self care, questioning and rewriting old stories that I've heard about myself. Needless to say, I have been doing a lot of work on myself and it hasn't been easy, and this stuff isn't easy. I think sometimes it's easy on Instagram to make, I don't know, self care and transformational work. It sounds empowering and it can be empowering. But to get there, there's a lot of mud, a lot of tricky situations. And, yeah, It's definitely hard at times, not saying it's all hard, but it's definitely not always shall we say roses. And there are times when I definitely would rather not do the work as it were. But it's also very cathartic to just release all these old stories. When I, when I'm doing this work, I think about having like a library in my mind, and there's all these books on the shelf, and they represent different chapters, different stories, different beliefs about myself, and you know, I'm just taking off each one one by one and kind of reading it and going, Okay, no, like you're done now, or how can I rewrite this story in a way that feels lighter to me, that actually brings me joy? Do you know, one of my realisations this year and full disclosure, I started going to a therapist this year a, it makes me a) better coach, And b) I wanted a space for me where I felt supported, as I hold space for other people, I think that's really, really important. And one of the things I really learned about myself this year is that I have this tendency to be in what I call the Gloom Room. And so when I'm looking back at past events, or when I'm looking at situations, it's very easy sometimes for me to end up in the Gloom Room. And to remember the like the the difficult aspects and the painful aspects of certain situations. And what I realised was actually there were other aspects to those memories that I had been overlooking, because I've been so focused on the pain. And the thing is, it's almost like the opposite of toxic positivity. And so I gave myself permission. And I started looking at the other side, the flip side, because actually, little Lisa, I thought she wanted to be protected. But all she really wanted was to play. And now I have the Fun Room, in my mind. So I share all of that, because I'm a big believer in things landing at the right time for the right person. So if that was something that helped you, I'm really glad. And if it didn't, as I always say, take what resonates and leave the rest. So, the first thing I wanted to talk about when it comes to when everything is shifting, and you're facing uncertainty is that holding space and acknowledging any grief that shows up. Because when we are creating change, or when things are different from how we imagined they would be, grief can come up as a feeling, there is a pain in letting go even if it's the best thing for us. And I think sometimes, we want to sweep feelings of sadness under the carpet and focus on the positive. But it's important to hold space for those parts of yourself that are grieving, if they're grieving. So it's important to check in with yourself, be gentle. And if parts of you are grieving, create some rituals or ceremony to say a proper farewell to a situation or a person or an object But find a meaningful way for you to, to engage and make peace. 2. Holding space for the uncertainty and creating a sense of acceptance that you don't have all the answers. That's really hard. It's hard for our egos, it's hard for our minds to not have the answers because it feels unsafe, when we don't know what's going to happen. This brings me on to the third point, make sure you find ways to support yourself and to get grounded. When Everything Feels like it's up in the air, it's really important that you have some anchor points in your life that help you feel supported. And those could be your values. It could be your self care practices. It could be rituals - things that make you feel connected and present. Could be breathing. Wild swimming has massively helped me. So think about supportive practices, like what is it that you need right now? And what support do you have in place? And what support could you ask for? And I know often people I work with really struggle to ask for help. But I always think of it like an infinity loop. Like most people I work with also love giving help and supporting people. Well, there'll be no people to support if nobody ever asks for help. So give someone the gift and the opportunity to support you. It feels good to help each other. And then finally, knowing. Know you're doing your best. Know that you're not alone and know that your ripple effect matters. That is what I wanted to say today. And what I want to add as a final note is that if you have something to say, if you have something that you want to bring into the world, but you're hesitating because you feel like you don't have the answers or it's not the right time or it's not quite perfect enough. This is me showing up imperfectly giving you permission to do the same. I just wouldn't have a podcast, if I tried to do everything perfectly. But what I value most is the opportunity to create space for meaningful conversations. And that's why I do what I do, whether it's the podcast, whether it's workshops, in the coaching itself, like I help my clients have meaningful conversations with themselves so that they can create change and like live a life that brings them joy and do the things that really matter. Like that's what's really important for me because life is short and unpredictable, and messy. So we have to put things in place to make sure that we're supported and that we, yeah, live lives that feel true for us and authentic for us. That's, that's what it's all about, ultimately, in my view. So I hope you've enjoyed today's episode. If you want to stay connected, you can sign up for regular doses of Lisa Love into your inbox. That's what I'm now calling when nourishing notes, think journaling prompts, self care tips, and all my latest news. So the link to that is in the show notes. I hope you have a wonderful weekend. And if anything from this episode resonated please drop me an email Lisa@lisapascoe.com. I would love to hear from you. Be gentle. Take care. Bye!