Ep 259 - What We Carry Forward in the Garden of Life

In this Fourth of July episode, Mary reflects on a Victorian berry spoon gifted by a friend's son, a family table and long-forgotten letter from her father, a dear friend's journey to United States citizenship, and the lessons unfolding in the vegetable garden.

From heirlooms and promises to volunteer tomatoes and a bird building a nest, this episode explores the stories, values, and acts of kindness we carry forward from one generation to the next.

As we celebrate 250 years of our nation's history, may we pause to consider what we are planting, preserving, and passing on in our own Garden of Life.

"Without context, they're just objects. With context, they become vessels carrying pieces of our lives." — Mary Stone

Link to the Companion Blog Post: What We Carry Forward in the Garden of Life

Related Episodes: 

🌿 Episode 258 – The Gift of Noticing: A Dove Tree That Didn't Bloom

🌿 Episode 255 – Growing Belonging in the Garden of Life
 

🌿 Episode 256 – Lessons from Spiderwort and Crooked Trees
 

🌿 Episode 257 – Love Lovage: Treasures at Well-Sweep Herb Farm

🌿 Episode 28 – No-Till Gardening with Patti Doell of Little Big Farm

Connect with Mary Stone

Visit: AskMaryStone.com

Garden Dilemmas? AskMaryStone@gmail.com 

Thank you for listening and for sharing the Garden of Life.🌻

More about the Podcast and Column:

 Welcome to Garden Dilemmas, Delights, and Discoveries.

 It's not only about gardens; it's about nature's inspirations, about grasping the glories of the world around us, gathering what we learned from Mother Nature, and carrying these lessons into our garden of life. So, let's jump in, in the spirit of learning from each other. We have lots to talk about.

Thanks for tuning in, Mary Stone 
Garden Dilemmas? AskMaryStone.com
Direct Link to Podcast Page

Transcript

Ep 259 - What We Carry Forward in the Garden of Life

Sat, Jul 04, 2026 2:30 PM • 12:19

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

Garden Dilemmas, nature inspirations, Marty Carson, silver spoon, Victorian berry spoon, family heirlooms, United States citizenship, civic responsibility, Fourth of July, vegetable garden, deer netting, volunteer tomatoes, bird nest, kindness, belonging.

SPEAKERS

Mary Stone

Mary Stone  00:00

Mary, hello, fellow lovers of all things green. I'm Mary Stone, and welcome to Garden Dilemmas, Delights, and Discoveries. It's not only about gardens, it's about nature's inspirations, about grasping the glories of the world around us, gathering what we learn from Mother Nature, and carrying these lessons into our garden of life. So, let's jump in, in the spirit of learning from each other, we have lots to talk about. 

Mary Stone  00:27

Listen to those beautiful bird sounds. I cannot believe it. We have had one heck of a hot day. It was 100 degrees on the job site I was on, and let me tell you something, it wore on me in a big way. And I came home to a house that was 85 degrees inside, and that's with some room air conditioners that aren't doing too much, but I'm grateful for them anyway. Welcome to the Screen Porch. 

Mary Stone  00:50

By the time that this podcast airs, we will have celebrated the 250th anniversary of the United States of America. That milestone became part of this week's story. I look forward to sharing, but first, I want to thank those who reached back after our last episode. The gift of noticing a dove tree that didn't bloom at Marty Carson's celebration of life. Several people wrote that they did not know that Marty had passed away. Others shared memories of her gardens, her kindness, and her influence. Patti Doel of Little Big Farm here in Blairstown, New Jersey, was one who didn't know she had passed away, and she had a big influence on our community. You may recall Patti from her conversation about no-till gardening, which we featured in Episode 28. I'll put a link in the show notes. Indeed, Marty's spirit and her gardens will live on in so many of us. 

Mary Stone  01:47

You may also recall in the last episode that I shared the heartfelt moment when Marty's son, Bob, gave me a silver spoon. He thought of me while going through his mother's things and saw the engraving of my name on the handle. The story has deepened since then. I noticed tiny lettering stamped on the back of the spoon. After a bit of detective work, I learned it was a Victorian berry spoon made by Legrys and Son with a patent date of 1884. 1884. Think about that for a moment. When the pattern was patented, the Brooklyn Bridge had only recently opened. Thomas Edison was still developing electric lighting. Marty's parents had not yet been born. It's intriguing to imagine how many hands have held the berry spoon somewhere along the way, it belonged to another Mary, and now it has found its way to me. 

Mary Stone  02:47

After Bob heard the episode, he left the message. I will also cherish that message. Hi, Mary. As I'm driving back to Florida tonight and listening to your podcast, it's wonderful the way you captured what the gardens meant to my mother, to you, and to the countless other people. I'm happy that the spoon means something to you, as it did to my mom, and I'm glad that you will carry it on as you live with your gardens and your people. God bless you. Take care and thank you so much. Stay in touch. And we certainly will stay in touch. Thank you, Bob. 

Mary Stone  03:25

The phrase 'your gardens and your people' has stayed with me because gardens are never just about plants; they're about relationships, they're about belonging, they're about the things we carry forward. 

Mary Stone  03:40

My sister recently brought me another object carrying a story, as she was making her way to move to Washington State. She brought the family cherry table. It had belonged to our family for years, and as the story goes, one of the leaves had been shortened because it didn't fit the space where it was to be used. My sister suspects that either my great-grandma Mary, whom I never met, and my mother tells me I was not named after, I'm my own person, that was something she always said, or it could be Grandma Bessie, who wanted the leaf cut down. For now, it sits in the room vacated by my former life partner. I'm unsure what that room wants to become, perhaps a writing spot, perhaps a guest room, perhaps both. The table is there waiting for its next chapter.

Mary Stone  04:32

Along with the table came a collection of old photographs, pictures of my brother Bill, family gatherings, children who are now grown. And among those treasures was a copy of a letter my father sent me when I was attending the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York City, paying my own way. I had just returned from a scholarship in England. I'm sure I have a copy of this original letter in my journals, but. I hadn't seen it for years, and what I didn't realize was that my father had made a copy of it and mailed it to my mom. He was living in Florida, starting his new assignment with the space division of General Electric, where he spent his career. Mom remained in Pennsylvania, so my youngest brother, Rick, could finish his senior year in high school. 

Mary Stone  05:21

Reading the letter again transported me back in time. I think my father was worried about me moving to New York City at age 18. He wasn't a man who talked openly in many ways. His strategy was to keep his head down or ignore what made him uncomfortable, so much so that I recruited a friend to take me to the Amtrak station that day. The letter itself wasn't emotional, other than the first paragraph, where Dad wrote how proud he was of my accomplishments. That paragraph alone made the letter a treasure. But much of it described the apartment in Florida, the ham radio equipment he had set up while working there, yet between the lines was a connection, a father reaching towards a daughter in the best way he knew how. 

Mary Stone  06:12

The Xerox copy became another treasure. I had no idea he mailed a copy of that letter to my mom. It makes me think about all the things we leave behind, furniture, photographs, letters, silver spoons. Without context, they're just objects with context. They become vessels carrying pieces of our lives. The stories are what matter. 

Mary Stone  06:38

Speaking of carrying things forward, my friend Cristina recently became a United States citizen. I've known Cristina for 28 years. We studied landscape design together at County College. For me, it became a career change. For her, it became her first profession after a divorce. She's such a talented designer and artist, and a dear friend. I had no idea that she was not yet a citizen. She came here from Italy decades ago, raised her family, paid taxes, built a career, owned a home, and contributed to our community. And now she has officially taken the oath of allegiance and has become an American citizen. I asked her about the process. She studied civic questions and completed interviews. One question that surprised her involved a willingness to carry arms to serve our country if required by law. The oath contains promises that many of us born here have never spoken aloud. 

Mary Stone  07:41

I listened to Cristina describe the ceremony, and I found myself reflecting on what citizenship means. It's not about politics; it's a commitment, a responsibility, a sense of belonging, of giving back, of having gratitude for the beauty of the world that we live in and the freedoms that we have. Hearing Cristina describe the ceremony made me think how often do we reflect on the promises we make in life-  wedding vows, promises to our family, promises we make to ourselves, commitments that we make to our gardens, and in preserving and supporting nature. Maybe that's another way we carry things forward.

Mary Stone  08:26

By the time this podcast airs, we will have celebrated the Fourth of July, the 200 and 50th birthday of America. 250 years. Imagine our country and our world, where will it be in 100 years? Hopefully, in a more peaceful place. What stories will a future generation inherit? What objects will survive? What gardens? What wisdom? Someday, most likely, people will look at our photographs and not necessarily know who we are, maybe not our name anyway. But what does always remain is the kindness we shared, the story we lived, the garden we planted, and the trees that we preserved. A tradition continued. 

Mary Stone  09:17

Meanwhile, in the present moment, my vegetable garden reminds me that life keeps moving. My early start on spring-planted vegetables, the snap peas, the beets, and the carrots has now become a late start. I sowed the first round of bean seeds a month ago. I planted the zucchini and the cucumbers and sunflower seeds nearby for the cukes to climb on, but I never got the deer netting up. Dear spray on the new sprouts worked for a while, and then not so much, but still, the garden is forgiving. A few beans remain from the first planting. The cucumber seedlings from a two-year-old packet are thriving. The zucchini are doing well. Volunteer tomatoes have appeared. Their variety is a complete mystery, but I decided to let them stay. Sometimes the best things in a garden and in the garden of life are the ones we didn't plan. 

Mary Stone  10:13

This morning, while writing, I noticed a bird flying in and out of the viburnum outside the library window, perhaps building a nest. I hope so. I couldn't help wondering whether some of Jolee's fur would line the nest, a contribution to the next generation. There is certainly enough of it available, and maybe that's what our lives mean. We're all carrying something forward. A spoon passes from one hand to another, a garden from one gardener to another. A story passes from one generation to the next. May we pay attention long enough to understand what we are carrying, because one day someone else may carry it too. Garden Dilemmas. AskMaryStone.com.

Mary Stone  11:04

And I can't help but again repeat what Bob wrote so beautifully. May we all continue living with our gardens and our people, so as we celebrate a milestone in the history of our country, let us never forget or take for granted the freedom that we have. We really, really do have a beautiful country and a beautiful world, and it is up to us to continue growing that forward by being kind to each other, by cherishing the history, the differences, but the likenesses we all have. We're here because we want to have a happy life, we want to support our families, and we want to feel loved. We want to feel a sense of belonging. That's really what life's about. See you next time on the Screen Porch. 

Mary Stone  11:50

You can follow Garden Dilemmas on Facebook or online at Garden Dilemmas.com and on Instagram at hashtag Mary Elaine Stone. Garden Dilemmas: Delights and Discoveries is produced by Alex Bartling. Thanks for coming by. I look forward to chatting again from my screen porch. And always remember to embrace the unexpected in this garden of life. Have a great day.