home—body podcast
sacred sound waves hosted by grace allerdice.
home—body podcast
finding your true Gift
What were you born to give? And how do you live into your fullest expression?
In this episode, grace guides you down the path and offers some clues for recognizing your life’s work. She explains why a career counselor probably can’t be your guide for this, and she gently reflects that this isn’t about saving the world.
If you’re ready to refine how you relate to your life’s work and move more exquisitely into your life’s Beauty, this episode is for you.
"Do flowers have a mission? Maybe they do. But it’s not a statement they write about or defend. It is intricately and unspeakably woven into how and who they be. They are exquisitely and precisely expressed in their full beauty, their full temporality at the right time and the exact right place." — grace allerdice
we discuss —
- Reframing your life’s work as what you were born to give
- The overarching economy of unfulfilled getting
- Lessons from the fully expressed flower
- Detoxing the word “mission”
- Why saving the world isn’t your calling
- Releasing the fear of Death as fuel for your work
- What masks as Compassion + how to more authentically be with
- Why your connection to Beauty is more than enough
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This podcast is produced by Softer Sounds. ✨
thanks for listening. peace, be well. 🙏
grace allerdice [00:00:00]:
My name is Grace and you're listening to the Homebody Podcast. Hi everyone. Welcome. Today I'm going to talk about a topic that comes up a lot with the people that I work with in my work, in my ecosystem, I attract a lot of creative people. I'm a highly creative person and this means that I tend to work with a lot of people who are visionaries or leaders in some way. And I don't mean like pioneering a new movement for mankind. I mean people who think outside of the box.
grace allerdice [00:00:49]:
People who have a sense of drive or interest to find their life's work and, and live out their fullest creative expression, whatever that looks like. Leadership can be self leadership through the journey that you're currently on. It could be an art practice, it could be a small business or pursuing a life that is deeply meaningful and authentic to you, which I think at its core is something that we're all trying to do around here in this corner of the Internet anyways. And before you're like, well, isn't everybody doing that? No, no, they are not. But for the people listening to this podcast, the people in this particular ecosystem, this is a very common and almost fundamental assumption, which is really beautiful. I also tend to attract and work with people who see this exploration as an intersection with a spiritual life. People who understand they are realizing a spiritual practice, a spiritual imagination, that there's something here that they're have a blueprint to express. And so there's this living question of really living into their fullest authentic expression of who they are inside.
grace allerdice [00:02:05]:
And there's an inherent sense of leadership in that. Like I said earlier, no one is forcing you to do this. No one's probably even asking you to do this. The wider over culture certainly doesn't. We don't have an intact community system built around this as a fundamental request. And so people who are exploring this or trying to live into this are therefore by default living into and with a sense of leadership within them. It often coincides with a desire to leave some kind of legacy or imprint on the world's fabric that's meaningful and beautiful and something that's also deeply fulfilling for them to contribute. And so when I'm working with people, whether it's in one on one mentorship or group calls, this is a big thing in the room.
grace allerdice [00:02:54]:
And in fact it's often assumed so. There's this desire to connect what's inside of you and weave it through the world which is outside of you. And it's a sense of purpose or mission that's more complex than just working or having a job to pay the bills. There's absolutely nothing wrong, of course, with having a job that just pays the bills that you don't feel like is really talking to this expression in a particular way. And for people in this particular sphere, living out this particular question, working to pay the bills usually isn't enough. There's usually something else on the side, some other thing that they're seeking to express and live out. So they'll have the job that pays the bills, but then they also want to do something else. There's still some unfulfilled desired expression and alignment that's.
grace allerdice [00:03:41]:
It's much deeper than having money to go on vacation. Though of course, it includes that the sense of life's work is something that we can have a hard time putting our finger on. And it absolutely is a spiritual quest or a spiritual question, which is why a career counselor isn't likely going to hit the mark on this one. Because at its root, it's not primarily a logistical question. It's not a resume question. It's not even an education background question at all. It's a spiritual one. It's a soul question.
grace allerdice [00:04:12]:
It's a soul remembering. And therefore, in order to really articulate and live into and be guided into this kind of question in a fulfilling and meaningful way, it takes someone with a soul and spiritual awareness and orientation. So in today's episode, I'm going to unpack some of my suggestions and encouragements for beginning to move into this a little bit deeper encouragement, including some of the most common things I see people getting tripped up on. These are the films that are really over this question that actually seem useful on the outside, but they're actually getting in the way of living this exploration in a meaningful and fruitful way. What I really want to touch on with this question, you know, we use words like mission or purpose or life's work, and all of them can have their place and be useful. But what I particularly think the question is is what was I born to give? What were you born to give? I touched on this question in the initiation deficit episode. I think it was part one. And while most of our culture reinforces and focuses on how you can get, the getting isn't really fulfilling unless the giving is also fulfilling.
grace allerdice [00:05:35]:
Which is why we have a lot of very empty getters in culture. We have sort of a overarching economy of unfulfilled getting. And I think there's a lot of answers to this question. What you can give some of Them you are already doing right now. You were born to give love and witnessing and creativity and healing things that you're already doing. So you can never really approach this question in this way and still be living into it. So the way that I'm approaching it is a deeper refinement. Some of you are ready for a deeper refinement of this.
grace allerdice [00:06:11]:
You're wanting to move even more specifically and exquisitely into more of your life's beauty, expressing your life's gift or giving. And just like a flower isn't wondering, hmm, what's my purpose? How do I live my purpose? It's not, at least not that we know. And it is absolutely living in its full beauty expressed as gift. And so when I am approaching this question and this exploration today, I want us to keep the flowers in mind. It is interesting to lean into the fact that we do ask this question as human beings. And it's important to remember at the same time, coneflowers don't offer their beauty in the same way or at the same time as a fir tree or a whale or a blade of grass or a strawberry. There's still an interesting uniqueness that I think as human beings, we naturally quest at a certain stage of our journey. And I want to honor that question because I do think it's important once you are in a particular stage of refinement.
grace allerdice [00:07:21]:
And so when the question comes up, what are you here to give? And I ask this to people, or it naturally tends to come up, usually it naturally comes up in conversation inside of a session. They usually bring it forward, sometimes without even meaning to, And I open up a place to share, like, what is it that you want here? What's an essential ingredient to this fullest expression, to your gift? And two things, surface level things come up immediately almost for everyone. And they think it's the answer, but actually it's the conditioning. They say, well, I want to do X, Y and Z to help save the world. Or they say, I want to do my life's joy while also being anti X, anti Y and anti Z. And they may not consciously use those words, but that's what they're saying in their reply. And we're sort of conditioned into this, especially from like nonprofit world, right? Which if you're, you know, activist or art artist adjacent, you have a lot of non profit affiliation in the past. If you're an artist and you're applying for grant money, for instance, or even some residencies, you have to justify the exploration that you're on.
grace allerdice [00:08:29]:
You have to justify the creation and the gift, what you are making and what you are doing. You have to prove that it's contributing to the world in some economical spreadsheet, save the world kind of way so that you can compete for the funds or the residency space. What's your mission statement? Right. It's one of the first things you do to really define yourself and define your work in the world. And there's nothing wrong with writing mission statement at all. That's not what I'm saying. Except often the mission statement is rooted in these energies that I'm talking about. Let me justify, define, improve, that I'm saving the world and.
grace allerdice [00:09:05]:
Or essential to how the world gets saved and I'm anti blah, blah, blah, gets affirmed a lot on the Internet. It makes us feel good because it's justified and it's understandable. And to really get to the deep refinement of this question, what are you born to give? This is in your way, because it isn't allowing the fullness of who you are to come to the inquiry, only the parts that are externally permissible and justified, whereas what's wanting to come forward probably isn't justifiable or even explainable. And so let me say more about this and break it down, because it's a really big thing that can potentially be of service, but only after it's been highly detoxed. Speaking of detox, let's detox the word mission or use a different word. I'm at a point now where I can use it without it feeling super narrow and rigid. But for a lot of people it needs a break. It feels like a shortcut and it's in the way.
grace allerdice [00:10:05]:
It's a very narrow. And again, it often interlinks with this idea that we're on a mission to save the world. Right. Why are we doing this? Well, because we want to save the world. Right? Right. Do flowers have a mission? I don't know. Maybe they do. And if they do, it's not really a statement that they write about.
grace allerdice [00:10:28]:
It is intricately and unspeakably woven into how and who they be. They are exquisitely and precisely expressed in their full beauty, their full temporality at the right time and the exact right place in it all. They grow where they can at the time that they can in their fully expressed, precise beauty of themselves. Are flowers integral to life on Earth as we know it? Yes. Is their mission to save the world? No. Now that we've talked about mission a little bit, let's break down the save the world energy saving the World is not your purpose, your mission is not to save the world. And there's a few things behind this. The first thing that I think behind the save the world energy is some weird leftover Puritan missionary stuff where we, a group of people who know what is absolutely true, the one truth that is best for everyone.
grace allerdice [00:11:37]:
We are here to help you agree with us and do things our way and adopt our beliefs so that you can be saved. If someone came up to you with that kind of energy, you would be incredibly creeped out and probably offended. And it's not hard to see how that's an entitled, off putting and definitely misplaced energy. And it's what most people are doing with their work right now. If we can just get everyone to have these beliefs, our belief, and save them from themselves and adopt these practices and join this movement, then we can save the world together. It's the exact same energy. Most people are fine with it when it's on their side and their set of beliefs because it's not about becoming a conventional Christian. But even though the costume is different or the quote movement is different, what's inside the costume is exactly the same.
grace allerdice [00:12:35]:
It's giving weird possessive colonization energy. And a lot of things are justified in these particular circles because it's said to be in service to saving the world. Oh, it's worth it. Because it's going towards saving the world and furthering the movement. No, it's not. And your mission is not to save the world. The other thing behind the saving the world energy is a lot of tribalism. We live in an incredibly, especially in the United States, which is where I'm tuning in from right now, an incredibly tribalistic moment where a lot of the external things that make it easy for people to feel comfortable and rooted into, secure and safe and the appearance of certainty.
grace allerdice [00:13:23]:
A lot of those external things that we have used to feel belonging are crumbling and so people feel very insecure, very unsafe. And all of the how will I survive energy is coming up. And since we primarily just think about things these days, we're like, oh, I know, I'll just band together with people who think exactly like I do, then I will feel safe. And then that becomes their life mission. Watch. You can just see it all the time. Just look anywhere on the Internet at any time. Check your inbox.
grace allerdice [00:13:58]:
As soon as people feel triggered or their nervous system feels under threat, this is almost always the first thing they do these days. Express the opinion, get, cancel everyone who doesn't apparently agree and double down with everyone who apparently does. And so the life's work or quest question again can become clouded or shrouded because this attempt to create a flimsy sense of belief safety is actually taking priority under the mask of oh, we're just trying to save the world, but actually you're just trying to feel safe and you're using this to do it. The other thing that I'll talk about behind the saving the world energy and the final thing I'll talk about with it today is it's really fueled a lot by fear of death. Especially when we get into some of the like environmental eco conscious movements. A lot of what's behind that we gotta recycle now. Everyone is the fear that we are actively engineering our own extinction right now on the planet. We're afraid of dying, we're afraid of being wiped out.
grace allerdice [00:15:09]:
Fair, but that's not the soil for your life's work. Fear of death is not it. You can absolutely root your sense of giving to the world from fear, but that just creates more fear. It's not going to give you the exchange that you're actually looking for. And once again, that's why some of this is a spiritual question. I think it is primarily a spiritual question. Once you go through alchemical processes with this and refine it, let go some of the baggage, get more okay with all the things that death brings up through different rites, rituals, ways of living and also like moving closer to death itself, living with it more aware in your day to day life, which is a whole other podcast episode that I'm working on for the future, is the gifts that death awareness can give you. And whether or not the world needs saving is a question.
grace allerdice [00:16:05]:
I don't know the answer to that. Maybe it does need saving, maybe it doesn't. Maybe what's happening on the planet, whether we like it or not, is exactly what's supposed to be happening. I don't know. Because all things must go through a death cycle. And why do we as human beings, I think we're exempt from that. Maybe if we're trying to save something that's in an active death cycle, maybe we're in the way of what's trying to happen again, I don't know. These are just things that I think about and these first things that I'm bringing up, this sort of like polarized tribalism, this fear of death, this leftover missionary energy, I'm bringing these up in the way first because they are often dressed up as the quest, but they're not the real one.
grace allerdice [00:16:55]:
And so these are things that have to be cleaned up in order to get to the actual fulfilling exchange that someone's really looking for. That's not to say that what you're doing right now, even if it's rooted in these things or being highly informed by these things, aren't a thing. Right? You might end up doing exactly the same things after you go through a transformational process, but they will be different because you are different. They will be imbued with a different energy. So let's take a simple exchange as an example. Let's say you're making a smoothie for your partner. You can make a smoothie for your partner. Super simple act of kindness, right? What is there to look at? Sure, it's a simple act of kindness.
grace allerdice [00:17:46]:
Unless. Unless underneath making a smoothie for your partner, you are trying to control what they're eating or when they consume, or you're trying to control that the mess that they might make in the kitchen, or you're trying to get them to like something you feel like they should so that you feel less in conflict with them. Or maybe you're making a smoothie because you feel insecure and you're trying to use it as a gesture of service, to get someone to need you or to like you. There's a lot of things we could insert in here. It's not a simple gesture. What's behind it, what's fueling it. But let's say you clear all of that shit out of the way, you do the inner work well, then you make a smoothie for someone you love, unattached to the outcome. And the same gesture is now a gift.
grace allerdice [00:18:34]:
On the outside, it looks the same, but it's not the same at all. And it's the same thing with your work, with your offering, with whatever you are engaging with as your gift to the world or to life, which doesn't have to interface with the public in any sort of business way. And I'm in the group of people that's like, let's treat the planet with respect. I go even farther and I'm like, let's worship it. I recycle. I try to buy sustainable clothing and goods as best as I can. It's not because I'm trying to save the world, though. That's not my motivation.
grace allerdice [00:19:07]:
It's not because I feel super bad about my existence. It's not because I feel so unworthy of being here and how much space I take up. And therefore my penance is to, like, only buy organic groceries or. No, all of the Actions are fully in integrity for me when I do these things. Just like I, you know, I donate to a whale charity, you know, why not? Because it's saving the world. Maybe it will, I don't know. But I'm doing it because it is my actual desire. That's it.
grace allerdice [00:19:36]:
It is my desire to do that. It's not coming from fear. It's not coming from control. It's not coming from anxiety or unworthiness or insecurity. It is coming from desire. And, you know, especially for whales, for me, it's coming from worship. It is fully coherent with the rest of my being and therefore it creates resonance. Will it save the world? Probably not.
grace allerdice [00:20:03]:
Maybe so, I don't know. Who knows? Anything can happen, but that's not why I'm doing it. And paradoxically, it will have greater, more resonant effect in my life and in the outer world because it is truly my gift and only a gift. It is truly something that I am expressing and giving from my life source. Because all of this other inner has been worked out and is out of the way in most wisdom traditions and spiritual traditions, getting really okay with death is a big ingredient. And it's something that's very, very far from our modern culture. We're mostly like, how do I live forever? And this is also something that's practiced by how we hold presents when other people die, how we meet our own transformations in life through ritual. You know, maybe you're one or how many, you know, mothers do you know, for instance, who are still really upset that their life doesn't look like they're a 25 year old with no kids and single? They didn't go through the transformation.
grace allerdice [00:21:09]:
The maiden has to die to become the mother. Period. There is no transformation without death. End of story. A lot of spiritual practices, real ones, are actually getting to root this out. They are getting to and getting really comfortable with the root of your being, the essential part of you that you can find with you always. And again, there's a longer episode I'm working on for this and that's a topic for another day. So if your mission is not to save the world, if your gift is not to save the world, if the fate of the world does not rest in your hands, if the weight of the world is not in fact actually on your shoulders, then your mission is not to save the world.
grace allerdice [00:21:54]:
And mission is probably not the best word. And if that's the case, then this frame is not actually helping you. It is hindering what is actually yours to give. And what is actually yours to care for. So I encourage you to notice, clear out, drain the quote, save the world energy from your work. And if you have a lot of resistance to that, which some of you might, you can just experiment. You can pretend like the weight of the world is in fact in your hands and in your backpack and you can pick up that story again at any time. But what if you took it off for a minute and gave it some time? What if you did some living of the question without that backpack, just to see what arises? You can always put it back on.
grace allerdice [00:22:42]:
And what do I know, right? Like maybe you will single handedly save the world. Maybe you are the chosen one. You are the one who is here to save us all. Maybe you are the Neo, the, the Marvel superhero who will single handedly deliver justice and peace to all through your work. Maybe that's the case. But more likely it's not the case. And so then what is the gift? It can still be big. It can still be meaningful.
grace allerdice [00:23:12]:
It can still be beautiful. It can still make a change. Of course it will make a change. That's not an interesting statement. It everything that you think creates change, change is the only constant. So we make. Change is not a real statement. So what's the gift? These energies muddy the water and they pretend to be shortcuts to your gift, but they're not.
grace allerdice [00:23:33]:
And some people are really resistant to giving this up. They have a lot of identity invested in being a martyr for their cause and their mission and their movement and their change. Because all of these words we use that are about this energy. But what if that's not your contribution? What if it's not that leaves a gap for something besides your martyrdom and your obligation and your duty. Because here's the thing the world doesn't need, and I don't even think it wants, your obligation, your martyrdom and your duty. We don't need it. We don't want it. But if we insist on keeping this pretend obligation because we think we are the ones that save the world.
grace allerdice [00:24:19]:
The story that you're here to hold it all and the weight of the world is on your shoulders, if you insist on keeping that, you will always be crumbling under the weight of that. You will always be falling short. You will always not be enough. You will always think that no one else is doing enough. You will always be dissatisfied if this is your, quote, mission. And so for me, that can't be it. That's not it. When someone does something for you or gives you something out of martyrdom or duty or obligation because they're trying to save you.
grace allerdice [00:24:52]:
How does that feel? So why do you think the world or anything in it wants that from you? And the ironic thing about the cause, the movement, the mission that has people crumbling under the pressure and the obligation weight and the martyrdom, the ironic thing is that when people are doing that, they often abandon or take for granted the situations where they could actually have the most impact and responsibility because they have totally abandoned all for the sake of this larger cause, because it just can't be enough. And for the larger cause where they will have likely little to no impact, they abandon the places where they could have the most. And then that perpetual defeat, depression, disappointment keeps taking them down. It's never enough. And honestly, it keeps happening until they're just miserable to be around. And their life is the opposite of a gift. It's something people avoid and it feeds these loops of aggression and confusion and abandonment and loneliness and feeling worthless until there's a little win, feeling like it's worth it until something else happens. And then yet again, the world is not saved.
grace allerdice [00:26:09]:
And a lot of people with really beautiful gifts leading really important things right now are crumbling because they're holding this in their backpack. Who will I even be if I'm not trying to save the world? I don't know. But I would get really curious about it. Because inflating your purpose like you're the chosen one is stealing the true gift from you. It's also probably stealing your health, your sanity, your relationships and your joy. And it's also stealing any act actual impact you could have. I'm not going to say a lot about this other energy right now, but I'll mention it because it comes up when this topic comes up with people, they say, well, I just want to make sure I'm anti XY or anti xz. And I'm not going to say a lot about that, but that's also not super helpful.
grace allerdice [00:26:59]:
So just orient around something else for now. It's also in the way. But let's talk about some things that absolutely are contributing to and included in what is absolutely your gift. And the first one is compassion. What you are here to give absolutely will have a flavor of compassion. And compassion is entering the field of understanding. It is choosing to understand and to be with what is happening. Compassion is not enmeshing with other people's pain, which is what a lot of people think it is.
grace allerdice [00:27:47]:
We see suffering and then we feel as if it is happening to us, or we feel guilty that it's not. And then we act like it's happening to us and then we think oh I'm having compassion. That's not compassion. That's like seeing someone drowning. And then your contribution to that is let me jump into water and act like I'm drowning too. See, I'm drowning. Me too. Same I feel you.
grace allerdice [00:28:15]:
That's not compassion. Compassion is also not that water. What does water have the right to be there, to be deep and to have a big wave that can hurt someone like that and have creatures in it that have big sharp teeth. Don't they know that people can get hurt? If I. If water just wasn't here, just wasn't the case, then that wouldn't have even happened. Again, there's that anti energy again, also not compassion. Can you see how the situation doesn't invite either of those responses? And yet often these are the only two responses people have complete enmeshment or anti. What's something else the situation could ask from you.
grace allerdice [00:28:56]:
It simply invites you to be with it as it is. That is all. If it is actually yours to be with and every suffering in the world isn't yours to be with because that's not humanly possible. Again, you are not the single handed marvel superhero here to save the world. So stop inflating yourself and martyring yourself. Acting like you are what is truly yours to be with. What do you desire to be with? What do you have the capacity to be with? Your gift is within that. Compassion has to start there.
grace allerdice [00:29:42]:
You have to accept your limitation. Otherwise you will not be able to recognize or give your gift in fulfillment and in full expression. And those two responses I offered above, the enmeshment with the pain and then the anti. That's what we have ample opportunity to do. Media, especially social media, gives us ample opportunity to blow any limitation we have out of the water completely. You are constantly bombarded with filtered opinions of something happening. Many of the situations which aren't truly yours to be with and that you don't actually have the capacity to be with. In any integrity, something devastating happening.
grace allerdice [00:30:25]:
Be with this one. Be with this one. Be with this one too. What are you thinking? You could be with this one. This one is also yours to be with. Be with this one as well. Can you be with this one? This one's yours. Oh my God, please be with this one.
grace allerdice [00:30:35]:
You're not being with this one. What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you even care? And it works because we're addicted to that dopamine hit a lot of Us are addicted also to pain and suffering, whether it's ours or the world's. And so if it's not that, what is authentic compassion. And that might be something that we all have different answers for, but it does have to honor and respect actual embodied limitations, because that's part of the human experience. Therefore it's a part of compassion. What can you truly be with? With your heart open, not your actions again, the world doesn't need more of your martyrdom, your duty and your obligation that you're just doing because you feel like you have to do it to be a nice person. The world doesn't need that. No one's asking for that.
grace allerdice [00:31:25]:
And if they are, it's not the real exchange. So what is the heart open capacity? What is the compassion? Start within your limitation. Simplify. Do you want to see how you impact the world? Notice how you change the one who's already in your sphere. What's your effect on a space, on a person, really? How does the room change when you enter it? Get really honest with this. It's a very good place to start. Compassion invites us to be with the parts of the human experience and the story, the parts of the story that brush up against us, and it asks us to open our heart again. It's less about doing and it's more about the being behind it.
grace allerdice [00:32:26]:
And if you're not sure how you can change or play with the ways that you see and experience the world, change the way you see the one. It can be hardest with the people closest to us. And that's often where we have the most meaningful impact. Take a day and really see everyone you walk by. What if, just for a day, everyone is God in drag? Really? See everyone you pass. Notice their wounds, visible and invisible. See them as someone who was once a small, innocent, helpless child. See them as someone who will die one day.
grace allerdice [00:33:24]:
See them as someone who had or has hopes and dreams, and some of them won't come true. See them as someone who has had their heart broken, or someone who's been embarrassed and humiliated and rejected. Someone who's probably wished once or twice that this would all end. See them as someone who has joystick, someone who has people counting on them. Open your heart to their humanity and witness it. This will sow a seed of compassion. And compassion is an authentic root of your gift. Another authentic root of your gift is beauty.
grace allerdice [00:34:17]:
Whatever is your fullest expression, whatever is your fulfilling gift, it will feel beautiful to you and you will encounter it as beauty. Its presence in your life will be as something beautiful. Not the beauty industry of like plastic surgery and like contour and. But the beauty that you witness outside when you see something that takes your breath away and how it simultaneously opens your heart and pierces it and also fills you with joy and loss at the same time that you're aware of the infinite and the finite all together. And you're just so dumbstruck and awe and grateful that you get to be here at all, because you know this moment, like this will never happen again. What a gift. So grateful. That's the beauty.
grace allerdice [00:35:09]:
When you go to a concert and you feel ecstatic and also every kind of person is there, like singing and dressed up and having a great time with the people that they love, feeling a sense of camaraderie with people that you don't even know. What is this energetic fire that people are gathering around? It's the beauty. Beauty is that campfire. And so to me, it's ironic that when so many people approach this question of what am I here to give? It's from a place of despair and distress and frustration and guilt. Oh, there's so much going on in the world. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. How does that energy contribute a gift to anything? It doesn't. It's not real compassion and it's definitely not beauty.
grace allerdice [00:35:56]:
And mostly it's often it's rooted in just feeling sorry for yourself. And what if the world doesn't need to be saved? And what if instead the world desires to be witnessed, worshiped and loved? What then? What then? We would get really interested in how we are being with the world and witnessing the beauty. You cannot give what you do not have, or you can only give what you are. And so if it's not something you're witnessing and seeing and taking in, if it's not something that you're being and bringing to the party just because of your essence, you're not growing it. You have to feed your life harmonization and the beauty and watch where it takes you. Beauty is the fundamental. It cannot be justified because it can't even be explained. So stop trying to justify it.
grace allerdice [00:37:00]:
There is no need of justification or defense. It simply is. The beauty is everything. The beauty is all that matters. It is the excruciating, sacrificial, blissful, passionate, ever chanting heart of harmonization at the center core of humanity. It is everything. And you can only experience it, you can't explain it. And some of you are very connected to this energy and you get stuck and you're like, well, how do I justify it, you don't.
grace allerdice [00:37:33]:
You just live in it and you create it and you leave its fragrance behind you and you feast on it and your life becomes an offering to it and of it. Period. End of story. This in and of itself is enough. This in and of itself is enough to put you in that fulfilling gift. You don't have to justify it. You could say one prayer in your entire life that absolutely brings a new part of humanity's story online that wasn't here before. And that could be it.
grace allerdice [00:38:07]:
You don't have to justify it at all. Bigger isn't better. You don't even have to know. That's not where the pleasure of the fulfillment is. It's in the being in the field that you bring. This question, what is it that I'm here to give? Is really about tuning your harmonic. What is your unique harmonic? So this quest, this living question isn't about coming up with statements or arguments to justify or prove that you matter. And your gifts are important.
grace allerdice [00:38:42]:
That's also energy that has to go. This justification stuff to even get to the prompt. We have to clean all of this up, get all of this shit out of the way so that your sound, your vibration, your frequency, which is actually your gift that can be behind anything that you do, can hum in the world. Everywhere you go, every place you put your attention, everything you touch, even so lightly, hums with that beauty because it is beautiful. And so many people, I think, are afraid that that's not enough. And it is absolutely the only thing that is enough. It is about desire and your love affair with life. It's not about coming up with a cause or defending what you're saving and what you're anti.
grace allerdice [00:39:31]:
It's trying to unwrap. It's trying to unmask that essential flicker of desire. Something that desire wanted enough that you're here. Think about the beloved. Is it I love you because you do X, Y and Z and you look like this? No. There's something unspeakable about why I love you. Because if I could speak it, it wouldn't quite be love. The gift does include compassion and beauty.
grace allerdice [00:40:02]:
It is about finely tuning your harmonic and getting all this other stuff out of the way. And it is about desire and your love affair with life. That's what makes it fulfilling. And so what if you were to explore what you were born to give, whether it's through writing or dancing or creating of some kind? Root it in exploration. You're not allowed to say the mission. You're not allowed to say saving the world, or I'm anti this, this, this and this. Those things might again come out to be authentically true. But let's get to something a little bit deeper that those things might be blocking.
grace allerdice [00:40:41]:
What's the beauty that you see and experience? What's the compassion? What is it that you're here to be with? What is it that you desire and that you actively love in this affair with life? What's consistently your harmonic and how is it blocked? Because the only thing you really have to offer is who you are. That's the gift, who you are. My husband used this really beautiful analogy lately that I told him I was going to steal for this episode is that we're all just ushers in the theater. Maybe we have name tags or maybe it just says usher. It doesn't matter. We welcome people to the theater and we kindly show them to their seat so that they can see the beauty. And so what is it that you see on that stage? What's the story that you witness? What are the threads that always come up that you're always interested? What's the play that you're always trying to get people to have a seat and look at? What is it and why do you love it? That's part of your gift. And you'll know it also, because it asks everything of you.
grace allerdice [00:42:06]:
And it won't feel like too much because it is exactly what you are here to give. It will be your delight to give it because it's rooted in the beauty and your desire for life. And it will ask everything of you. And you will love it. It will be your passion and therefore your compassion. It's this ecstatic turned on fruitfulness that is your gift. And you will also know it because your first response to really witnessing and understanding your gift, your first response might be, who am I to give this? Who little old me? It's like all those angel encounters like in the Bible or something, where they're like, who me? And the angel's like, yes, you. End of conversation.
grace allerdice [00:42:53]:
And some people get really stuck here. Yeah, you accept it, receive it and move on. Get to giving it. Yes, it is humbling to receive the call, who am I to do this? It doesn't matter. Just say yes, receive it and move on. Say yes to the dance that it's inviting you into. It's not about being better than other people. It's about saying yes to being an usher in the theater.
grace allerdice [00:43:21]:
It will be your delight to do so because it will also reveal to you the beauty and you will get to see the play over and over and hear the music over and over again and you will be delighted that this is your gift. Foreign thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, please take a few moments to subscribe to the show, leave us a review and share the episode. These small tasks help our independent podcast so much. Be sure to also check out the show notes below to learn more about any resources, guests or sponsors that we shared with you today. Our intro and Outro music was created by artists Erin Palavic and Jared Kelly. Our podcast logo was created by Elaine Stevenson and this show is produced by Softer Sound Studio. Thank you for being here.
grace allerdice [00:44:15]:
Be well. Peace.