Dr. Tim Thayne compares superficial goals that we often make to the goals that really bring meaning and satisfaction. Those authentic goals are always centered around your connection to the people in your life, namely your family. He introduces where the direction of his podcast will be going in regards to this new year and how to improve yourself and ultimately strengthening your family unit.
Dr. Tim Thayne compares superficial goals that we often make to the goals that really bring meaning and satisfaction. Those authentic goals are always centered around your connection to the people in your life, namely your family. He introduces where the direction of his podcast will be going in regards to this new year and how to improve yourself and ultimately strengthening your family unit.
Dr. Tim Thayne:
Hey everybody, this is Tim, Thayne, your host of the non by chance podcast. Thank you for joining me today. We are just a couple days away from the turning of the new year. And it's a time of renewal, refocusing on things that matter. And all of that great time of year. I love it. I was talking to a mother today, it was interesting, she said to me at the end of our conversation, and we were talking because she had a struggling teen and had really gone through a difficult time with him recently. And I think add that to the challenges of 2020. At the end of that, when I said, Hey, happy new year, she paused for a second, she goes, I am just celebrating the fact that 2020 is over. So her celebration was not about the future, it was about the ending of 2020. I got me thinking a little bit. And I thought, as I set the goals that I'm going to set for 2021. I actually think that because of what I experienced in 2020, and I think so many other people did, too, namely trials, difficulties, it had a way of stripping away, things that really didn't matter and helping me reprioritize the things in my life that really do matter. And so I think my goals are going to be better this year, they're going to be maybe goals that will lead to what I really want in life, not just a sculpted, you know, body or more fit than I've ever been, or, you know, some kind of promotion or, or something else, I think it's going to my goals this year might be really fashion towards things that will bring true contentment, a meaning purpose, and maybe even a feeling of gladness. Because of the many blessings I have, that I may not have recognized before. So that's what I'm hoping for all of you as well that, that this can be a great, a great year, that will be shaped a little bit better, a little bit more and even better because of 2020. I want to share with you, you know a couple things. For example, just a few thoughts as you think about setting goals for the year. And I'm thinking about meaningfulness or significance or purpose. Some things matter in life, other things really don't matter, even though we might try and make them matter or we keep we keep trying to fill a need with something that doesn't actually fill a need. A long time ago, back when I was at BYU, I had a professor that, that it was actually a financial class on on how to counsel people financially. And he said this, I don't think this originated with him. But he, he said you can never get enough of the things you don't need. Because the things you don't need can never satisfy you. What an awesome quote. That is. Because we've all tried to fill deep needs with superficial things. And it doesn't matter how much of that thing you put in, it never fills the hole or the void or the need. And that's why it can never satisfy. And so what are the things that really truly bring you contentment, like when you do that thing, or that that relationship is in such a manner that you really, truly kind of sit down and go ha yeah, that feels right. I'm content. I'm satisfied. I feel good, like my life is on track with where it needs to be. And, you know, when I when I think about things like that I will get back to relationships to me. Connecting with people in authentic ways, being real. Having meaningful relationships with others is definitely one of those things that brings true contentment to me. And I know when I have it right, I think you all can relate with that. I want to share with you my it might be my all time favorite movie. It really illustrates this, this idea of meaningfulness in a way. I think I was born 100 Maybe 150 years too late because there's something about The old Wester in the living in a much more living in a much more simple way that really gets to me and I love it. My favorite movie of all time, I believe is Dances with Wolves. This movie was was filmed back in 1990. So it's pretty old at this point. Kevin Costner was the, the main character in the movie, he played a guy named John Dunbar, he was a lieutenant in the Union Army assigned to an outpost after, during the Civil War, actually, way out. And he meets a local Sioux Indian tribe that at first was pretty threatening, but over time, he was adopted into the tribe. And he developed a real strong relationship with many people, including a woman that was there called stands with a fist. But what you start to see happen is, is he's independent out there, kind of on his own, he meets a wolf first. And so he develops this relationship with a wolf and, and tames this wolf a little bit. And then this Sioux Indian tribe comes into his life. And you see this evolution from the Self Reliance kind of perspective where He's taking care of himself. And that's an awesome thing to develop, by the way for all of us and help our kids do that both Self Reliance spiritually, physically, emotionally. So we're going for that, that should be part of our focus and brings real true contentment meaningfulness. But then it goes there can go beyond that. You know, he was lonely, it was a lack of connection and love and service to other people. That later I think the reason I love it so much is it's this progression from him self being out there by himself, growing into a stronger, more competent person, ultimately, to then leads to these interdependent relationships where he then loves these people. At the end of the movie, I can't help but cry. And I think most people probably get emotional around this. But he's developed such a strong relationship with this tribe of interdependence where they're helping each other through hard times. That at the end of this, this person who first was very fierce warrior that looked like they were going to be rivals, when he got into the tribe, this fierce warrior is at the end, mourning, as John Dunbar gets on his horse with his with his wife now, and they leave the tribe in the middle of their winter encampment. And he's just yelling up the hill, basically saying, he was going to miss him, he was yelling his name, I can't help it get choked up around that. Well, that's the progression of self centered kind of life, to one of interdependence with people that have your back and you have theirs. To me, that's the ultimate experience of family. It's what we're trying to get to. And I know most of the time, most of us are not there. But that's where we're headed. Where we have each other's back, come, whatever might happen. Well, I hope this has been helpful to you in some way to maybe inspire in you how you might set your goals and what you're going to try to do this year. My goal also with this podcast, by the way is to help bring light to, to and truths to our discussion that will truly come to things that will fill real needs inside our families and inside our own lives. And that it might be timely as we're going through some challenging times in our country, uncertainty, lack of, you know, very clear picture of the future of knowing where that's gonna go economically in every other way health wise, but that we can develop a sense of we built ourselves on solid ground and our family as well. Well, I hope this has made some sense to you hope it's been inspiring in some ways, and I hope that you will share with me if there are thoughts and ideas around what we can talk about the next six months as we kind of go through this together. I would love to hear from you in the comments or email me or whatever it is, you know, share with me what it is you're doing And I do appreciate you spending some of your time with me today as we talk about things that matter. And I hope that the new year brings you great joy, contentment, satisfaction, connection, the people that mean the most to you in your life. Thanks again for being with me. Have a great week and we'll talk again next week.