In Part 2, Dr. Thayne continues his discussion with Dr. Dennis Deaton. They discuss some of his books and the critical principles they teach. Dr. Deaton is the creator of an engaging online course that prepares young people for the challenges they face every day. It gives them instruction and skills they can develop in two major areas: mind management and emotional intelligence. To check it out, go to this website and enter the following code for special savings:
Coupon Code: NotByChance21
In Part 2, Dr. Thayne continues his discussion with Dr. Dennis Deaton. They discuss some of his books and the critical principles they teach. Dr. Deaton is the creator of an engaging online course that prepares young people for the challenges they face every day. It gives them instruction and skills they can develop in two major areas: mind management and emotional intelligence. To check it out, go to this website and enter the following code for special savings:
Coupon Code: NotByChance21
Hi, everyone, thank you again for joining us for the second half of the podcast with Dr. Dennis Deaton. We're grateful that he's here with us today. In the first podcast, we got to hear kind of his his journey, and some pivotal moments in his life, in his career that guided him towards this process we're going to talk about now. And you started this these principles and concepts really working with corporate America. And and then there was certainly a shift there again, towards maybe the adolescents of the world has become the target and the the intention is to help them. So this ownit course, it's an online course, that can prepare young people for the challenges they face every day. And it delivers instruction skills, training, and two vital areas, mind management and emotional intelligence. When I think about those two areas, working with the teams that we work with, I think what a powerful, you know, area of focus, both of those are, I was literally just working with a family today. And then as we were working on we were talking about some some areas in their family life now, where this young man, he's been to treatment, and he's come home. And the big of a lot of the work we do at Homeward Bound is to help that transition happen. Very good, create the right environment to keep the momentum that they've had. And he's really being challenged right now with being triggered by his parents. Yeah, the parents are doing a great job on their end, but they can't hardly give feedback to their son, without him being triggered emotionally. So when I think about those two areas, you know, mind management and emotional intelligence, what would you say give us a principle or two, there are maybe maybe a first step that we we might be able to take with him to help him develop some some more awareness in this area.
Dennis Deaton:Now, there's so many aspects I want to jump into here, I really hardly know where to start. So let me let me just begin with this. I think that having been a parent myself, and we one of the reasons we created on it is not only for the youth, but for the parents, we have a hard time developing conversations where it doesn't feel like it's you're talking down to your children, or you're trying to coach them. And so we created this course. And we like not only the students to take the course, we like the mom and the dad, the Guardians, whoever's there, they're your mentors, coaches to take the course, because they'll find a lot about the preferences and the goals and motivational centers inside their young person. But if they take the course, the course not only teaches them these principles that the as you're going along these through these 10 online units, you're you're being you're you're creating a personal profile of your ownership skills, your personality traits, your learning preferences, your aspirations. And there's a lot more to it than this those points, but we like their parents to take us so that they get a profile and their student gets their profile. And they realize that we're co learners that we got into creating own it. As you said, this is toward the very end of my career, I if you feel this was you had to screen for me, people would see that I have quite a bit of mileage on my tires. And I thought I'd pretty well done what I was supposed to do in corporate training. And I would have adults come up to me all the time and say, how do we get what you're teaching to our young people, I've got a son that said, I got a daughter said. And finally, it just hit me that that's maybe what all the corporate training was about is to hone the skills so that I could present what would appeal to an adult and also to a teens mind but in put it in, in a in a video saturated, upbeat, positive, fun way that that has almost tongue in cheek humor that youth like. But then when they get done, they've got something that they've mutually experienced, which they can talk about as from the standpoint of a cold learner. You know, I take mine my wife takes and we sit down 13 And I'll be strong in an area and and kind of talk about our strengths and our weaknesses together and how we can mutually support one another in this process of just getting to be better human beings, and happier and more control of our happiness and more aware of the things that we allow to, to sabotage our own thinking and trigger emotions that that are unproductive. Almost everybody in this planet knows what we mean when somebody says that a person has negative self talk, and I'm going to go about to something I said in the first broadcast, it's talk, all right, and it is negative. But the key of it is, it's not self talk, it's this scam this spook this adversary in their mind, that's telling you that you're not good enough to do something that you can't do something that you're inferior, that people don't like you that you're not loved, that you're not worthy, the Gospel won't work for you, you've tried to do this, and it's you've failed, you'll always be a failure, all that noise is going on, and the thinker of thoughts inside, if it gets recognized that that wouldn't be coming from my heavenly Father, and it wouldn't be coming from me, it's coming from an outside source, then I can I can, I can detect it, and then I can disagree with it. And then ultimately, I can deny it or defy it. Awesome. And, and, yeah, that's the key,
Dr. Tim Thayne:I love the family focus you have, that you are recognizing that process, you know, ultimately, especially when they're trying to get their legs under them in trying something new, if you got the parents really participating in a way that that contributes to the learning, by by maybe making some key changes themselves. Now you've got a fighting chance to create some new patterns and ways of being and so I didn't realize that about that, that that was a part of the plan.
Dennis Deaton:With the owner, to be honest with you, some of the adults needed more than the youth. Absolutely, it's true. And some of their interpretations of their own thoughts are playing out and how they interact with with a young person. And so it's nice to be kind of a community healing within the family.
Dr. Tim Thayne:All right. We've just got about a couple minutes here, Dennis, give give the audience just maybe one of those 10 modules just give us the title, maybe a couple of the key points under it, that would help them get a little taste of what this course could do for their for their child.
Dennis Deaton:Oh, there's 10 all the modules, all 10 of the modules are powerful. Some of them deal with social emotional intelligence. So when I guess I would want to focus on an answer your question is, module number two is about resetting presets, either by habit or by culture, one way or another, we have mental patterns that we go into, that we don't even recognize that they have become automatic. They were learned responses at one point, but just by repetition and unawareness, that we're repeating them, they have become quite automatic. And a lot of those that mental habits work very well for us. And some of us don't, some of them don't. But if we can use that ability to step out of our thinking, to look back into our thinking, and start noticing that in a certain situation, this is the way I tend to respond. And then I can see that that doesn't produce the results I want. And I go back here to the beginning of say, What do I want to say to myself? How do I want to view myself in this situation? How would I really like to respond here in the church, you know, a very, very powerful, simple thing we teach in primary, how would the Lord have me respond right now in this situation? Would he have me overreact? Or would he have me listen more, and show more love? And so one of the things that has helped us to recognize mental circuits that we have embedded fairly deeply in our thinking, but because they are learned responses are learned. I mean, any any habit can be on and can be replaced by better have better thought process.
Dr. Tim Thayne:That's right. So this really gets into the cognitive awareness of what's really going on what are those automatic thoughts that we never inspect very deeply and understand and, and then use our use our power of choice to then decide how we want to think differently. And I think that's, that's really fantastic. The it's definitely the goal of so much of the work that that we have to do with to be able to get out of ruts that we're in Yeah. Is we have to get down to those. Those thoughts that are usually undiscovered for me for quite some time we have any thought about them. Yes. And but they've gotten us where we're at. Yes. And I tried to do that with this young man today. And emotion was the culprit here is that point you know if the emotion have hijacked our meeting and hijacked our session. And luckily, we sort of hit the pause button at the end and said, you know, we're going to come back to this. But here's, here's couple things for you to do. And it was really along these lines to be able to step outside yourself a little bit here. Notice, if I had a video camera, and it was on this conversation that you've just had with your parents, you'd be able to see what I'm seeing through the zoom session here, you'd be able to see what your emotions are just from the nonverbals. Yes, on your face and your body language. And then you can go back later without that emotion and see yourself and say, What was I thinking at that time? Well, I was thinking my mom and dad were, were just trying to tear me down and make me look bad in front of you, or whatever it was, when you can now look after the fact that your parents were calm all the way through, that they were trying to sincerely convey something that was was was troubling them, and getting in the way of your future. And so we used to use video cameras, by the way, yes, I can see Yeah, and the work that we do, and occasionally we still do, but most of the time, it scares people away. But there's something incredibly powerful about a video on you while you're, you're just kind of doing what comes natural. Yes. And the other I guess the last thing I'll say, as we as we close this podcast is I'm really excited about diving into your course. Because I mean, just that principle itself has incredible power. But there's 1010 different modules you have, I'm looking forward to seeing what those are. And from the videos that I saw. I'm excited to see because I was engaged in the videos that I saw and made me want to stay with it. Now. These are pretty heady concepts. Yes, that I think you're what you're trying to do with with own it is to bring it in a format in a way that would engage an adolescent. Yes, it is and an a parent like me. So you mentioned there's going to be some kind of discount. Yes, yeah, share with the audience.
Dennis Deaton:Again, the website is www own it youth, y o u t h.com. And it retails for I think, under $29, if you will, when you go to sign up for that if you use the coupon code,
Dr. Tim Thayne:not by chance 2121. So not by chance, 21
Dennis Deaton:not by chance 21 You'll get a substantial discount.
Dr. Tim Thayne:Fantastic. Thank you for offering that to the audience here. My pleasure. We really appreciate that. And thank you all for joining us today for the podcast and wish you all the best in in your effort, your relationships out there with your families, as you as you try to strengthen your family.