No guests this time, just me, your host, weaving tales of everyday humor and the spellbinding allure of Eurovision's upcoming spectacle. Join me as we celebrate life's quirky beats and the enchanting rhythm of the world's most vibrant music competition.
As we segue from domestic tales to the grand stage of Eurovision 2024, I'm buzzing with anticipation over the creative stage designs that promise to wrap us in an immersive performance experience. Imagine Rammstein setting the stage ablaze with ferocity, or the serene strumming of a folk melody followed by the powerful crescendo of an operatic voice—all possibilities in the diverse landscape of this musical extravaganza.
#eurovision
No guests this time, just me, your host, weaving tales of everyday humor and the spellbinding allure of Eurovision's upcoming spectacle. Join me as we celebrate life's quirky beats and the enchanting rhythm of the world's most vibrant music competition.
As we segue from domestic tales to the grand stage of Eurovision 2024, I'm buzzing with anticipation over the creative stage designs that promise to wrap us in an immersive performance experience. Imagine Rammstein setting the stage ablaze with ferocity, or the serene strumming of a folk melody followed by the powerful crescendo of an operatic voice—all possibilities in the diverse landscape of this musical extravaganza.
#eurovision
Hello and welcome back to the DOSPA podcast. Oh my lord, what's been happening? Well, I burnt my potatoes Not my, not my fault, I swear. I honestly thought I'll just put the potatoes on so I can boil them for the mashed potato and I'll come in here and I'll set everything up. The next thing I know I'm like is that the smell of burning potatoes Run out into the kitchen. Completely black pot. All of my potatoes, black, withered, burnt to the bottom of the pot.
Speaker 1:Oh my lord, when is someone going to sit down and have a conversation with my pots and pans and cooking utensils and explain to them that I do have the ADHD? I am going to put them on with every intention. I'm going to pay full attention to them and make mashed potatoes and then I will absolutely get distracted. Coupled with the fact I have no concept of time, it needs to adjust itself and be like whoops, she's got the ADHD. She's probably forgotten about us. Turn yourself off. That's all I'm saying. And before anyone gives me a lecture, no, I was not just going to have mashed potato for dinner. It's for my lunch tomorrow at work. And no, it's not just mashed potato. I made a fake beef ragu thing, tomato sauce thing to go with it.
Speaker 1:Not that there is anything wrong with just having mashed potato for a meal. Sometimes you need to. You know what. One of the best things about being an adult and let's face it, there's not a lot. You've got to get a job, you've got to pay your own bills. Nobody just carries you to bed. You don't just fall asleep and wake up in bed Like in a happy way. That never happens. One of the few advantages you can have whatever you want for dinner. If you want to have mashed potato for lunch tomorrow, you have mashed potato for lunch tomorrow. I mean, not me, don't rub it in.
Speaker 1:A little while ago I was at the supermarket and this kid was throwing an absolute tantrum, just crying like, because his point is that I want hot dogs, I want hot dogs for dinner, I want hot dogs, hot dogs are so delicious. And his dad's like no, no, you can't have hot dogs for dinner. You can't have hot dogs for dinner, don't be ridiculous. And the kid's like and the more that this child wept in absolute sadness, I realized hot dogs for dinner actually does sound delicious. So in front of that child, I smiled as I picked up a packet of vegan hot dogs and exclaimed hot dogs for dinner. What a brilliant suggestion. And then walked off to the sounds of his wailing. And you know what, if you've ever thought, oh, you know what, I don't want to try vegan food, you know what? Try vegan hot dogs.
Speaker 1:Ironically, you're more likely to find meat, I think, in a vegan hot dog than an actual hot dog, which is pretty much just asses and elbows. Do cows have elbows? No, they've no. Well, I was gonna say that. I mean, they walk, so they must, but they're knees. That's, that's knees. I just no. I guess it's no, that knees, but not elbows. I guess you only need elbows. If you've only got legs, they're just knees. Oh, elbows are just knees. Look, I might have breathed in some castinogenic smoke for my potatoes. What were we doing? That's right.
Speaker 1:Your vision, oh my lord, it is officially 2024. Happy new year to everyone and congratulations on surviving 2023. I don't care if you didn't get that promotion. I don't care if you didn't lose weight. I don't care if you didn't get married and have 18 babies. You know what you did. You survived, and that makes you a winner. I Mean, let's be honest, like a lot of us, were kicking and screaming and dragging ourselves by fingernails across the line, but we got there Before we get to your vision.
Speaker 1:Big salute to all the pet parents out there who spent new years eve at home with their pets Rather than out partying. One of my cats, oh little mr Marshmallow, the former street cat. He does not do fireworks Very well and I'm so glad that I stayed home because, oh my lord, I swear they were like about eight different sets of like fireworks going off in every direction. I'm guess I'm kind of halfway between the sea and halfway between the city. So I had the city going off, I had the sea going off. We had the early show going off for the young kids. We had the adult pervy sessions going. At midnight we had people with their homemade shit on the oval behind us.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, my poor little fur baby was not coping. The first time the fireworks went off I was running around. I couldn't find him, like oh much he much. You were a, oh, you're a cupboard. No, he wasn't in the cupboard for cuddles. And I'm like oh, oh, okay, maybe he's onto the desk. He loves to sit under the desk and like look at me, oh, you're gonna give you a cuddle on? No, he's not under the desk. Oh, is he under the bed? No, it's not under the bed. Oh see, in the other wardrobe no, it's not the other wardrobe.
Speaker 1:I was beginning to freak out. Do you know where I found him? He was curled up in the corner of his litter tray. Poor little Bobby. So I had to like give him like hugs and snugs and that, to crank the stereo and do some interpretive Just to keep him amused. I Think it it did. It was, hey look, I think he was more terrified by my dancing than the fireworks by the end. But so then I just gave in and gave him copious amounts of food, like a good European mother. When in doubt, when your loved one is in stress, there is only one answer feed them. Feed them until they pass out into a coma of food, and that's exactly what I did.
Speaker 1:So what's been going on to Eurovision? If you've sort of seen anything from Eurovision and their their home page at the moment, you'd see these sort of like blocks of like Glittery moving lights. What are they? Ah, that's the lighting effect that they're going for this year in Eurovision 2024, part of their theme. What it is, they tell us, is it's based of. Okay, basically they took a computer image of the European northern lights and then they put that into a computer and they got it all to be Beep-Boo-Boop-Boop-Boop-Boop-Boop-Boop-Boop. You know, when you do the music and your drones and your lights and all together and apparently that is like the computer pixelated version of the northern lights, but in a very much unimpressive Microsoft 360 Pong version. You know, there's something for everyone. I guess Not my favorite thing, but you know what? Not every year can be a winner. Not every song can be a winner at Eurovision. I like the theme, I like what they're going for, but if you're a little bit photo sensitive, maybe be aware of that one.
Speaker 1:The big exciting news that we've had, the big development is, of course, they've released the designs for the stage. Now, if you haven't seen it, essentially, how do we describe it? It's like Christianity meets the 80s. It's kind of like a giant cross that comes out from the back of the stage. So some of the lucky fan members are actually sort of going to get, some will get the front, some will get the back view, so people will be sort of in and around the acts, which I think is actually going to make for some interesting presentation and it also, I think, as a performer, as an act, it's certainly ups to the next level, because you can't just stand there. It's not that exciting if people just have to look at your back for the full three minutes.
Speaker 1:It's an interesting idea. How do you give a full 360 performance? I mean, let's be honest, some performers have struggled to give a performance just with the one view, let alone a 360 degree view. How have people got around this in the past? Well, I guess if you're a Metallica, you can just put yourself on a giant round stage and then you pretty much just stand there, but you kind of just you know rotate around the room like a really slow carousel. That's one way to do it. I mean, there's no requirement that you have to give a 360 degree performance, but it really is going to be interesting to see how the different acts are going to interpret this and how they're going to change their stage production.
Speaker 1:I really hope it's not just going to be a case of people feel like, oh, you know what, I'm just going to walk from this end of the stage and then walk to that end of the stage. Oh, it's three minutes. You've got to give us more than just you know a little bit of ramblin. I'll put up some pictures for it, but the stage it actually looks really interesting. Lots of fluorescent colors, pinks and blues. I kind of like it.
Speaker 1:It's done by Florian Wilder. He's a production designer. He's based in Los Angeles and Munich and he's been doing production designs for over 30 years. What you want to know, you want to know, is credentials. What are they bringing to this? Hmm, what have you got, florian? Let's have a look at your resume. Well, florian has designed productions for Beyoncé's tour, adele, jlo, robbie Williams, you too. Okay, for a lot of our listeners, I'm gonna be like who the hell is you? Two Old people from Ireland. They used to be really good. Lady Gaga and, oh Ramstein, oh my lord, I am so excited. If anyone's listened to this podcast, they know I am a huge fan of Ramstein and I've been saying for years oh, one of my Eurovision dream grabs would be for Eurovision to get Ramstein to perform for Germany. I think it would be one of the most amazing three minutes in Eurovision's history.
Speaker 1:Their stage presence, their drama, oh, they also have, without a doubt, the absolute number one pirate technique displays on their live shows. If you haven't seen them, oh my lordy, I'm gonna put some link on our website. This is how intense they are in live production. This is how intense their pirate technique displays are. This is how intense their pirate technique display is. Two years ago, ramstein performed a concert in Hamburg. Oh, hamburg, that's about it. Hamburg, hamburg. They performed in Hamburg. Their concert and the pirate technique display was so intense it was actually picked up by seismic earthquake sensors in the city, detecting an abnormally large and noisy peak that coincided with the Ramstein concert. They feel it was a combination between, obviously, a crowd of people and the vibrations the vibrations from the speakers and the huge explosion of pirate techniques. Their live performances are actually groundbreaking. They use pirate techniques to set off pirate techniques that set off pirate techniques, that spark the largest pirate techniques. Oh, which is why I got excited when I heard that Florian Weeder was going to be doing the production design. They have experienced. They've had a hand in creating the legacy of the Ramstein live concert.
Speaker 1:Can you imagine if they got to bring Ramstein to the Eurovision stage? Oh, gweeeeeeell, I'm so excited and this is what we're desperately gonna need. I was looking today at the people that have announced so far for the performers that are definitely gonna be performing at Eurovision and all I'm a little bit worried at the moment. All the performers that we've got. To be honest, it looks like they might all work in the same fancy small scale coffee shop and used record store. Not that there's anything against that. But we need the variety. We need our opera. We need our crazed Romanians. We need people coming in stewing their little folk dances about a train timetable. I love it. We also need our dark and heavy metal. Oh, I know it might be a pipe dream and I've been hanging on to it years, for years and, oh, I refuse to give it up. Seriously, can you imagine Ramstein at Eurovision 2024? Do Do points, do points, nights. Oh, my Lord.
Speaker 1:The Florian hasn't just done amazing concerts for Ramstein. He's also been the production designer for seven MTV Awards in the US, twelve of the European MTV Music Awards, and has actually had quite a bit of an experience with the Eurovision stage. He has actually worked at Eurovision several times. He also designed the opening for the FIFA World Cup in Qatar. So he don't come cheap. In other words, now we can't forget about the light and screen content designer. Oh, I'm so excited about this. Frederick Stormby, 25 years experience again, has done work on Beyonce's Renaissance tour and worked for Eurovision in 2013 and 2016. And we all know 2016 is one of the best Eurovision that has ever been. It certainly looks like it is going to be one hell of a dramatic show this year. Oh, I can finally say this year. It's getting so much closer.
Speaker 1:The latest buzz around the streets at the moment is everyone's talking again. We have this conversation every year. I feel like for the last three years, will Kano be coming back to Eurovision? It was so funny. I actually did a search in the computer today and I put Kano Eurovision 2020. And it was hilarious because it was just 2022, 2023, 2024.
Speaker 1:Kano being the eternal teasers that they are actually released a clip on Instagram where they've actually said let's go in Swedish. So everyone straight away is like, oh my God, that's it. They're going to be competing again. They're going to try and compete to represent Norway again at Eurovision. But remember, this is a big spectacular year. They could and we've already called it. We think they're going to get a lot of the past performers to come in and perform a lot of ABBA songs at the live performance. So they're saying let's go. It could be them just getting ready. Maybe they're one of the secret acts that are going to come out and perform the ABBA songs. Oh, either way, I'm very excited. I'm going to be happy with either alternative.
Speaker 1:Fred, the Sami rapper from Kano, only recently oh, last year, so long ago, now recently had well, he didn't have, he didn't do shit. Another person had his child, and with a very small child around. Does he want to commit to all the preparation and work that goes into producing a Performance for the Eurovision Song Contest? Maybe they are just gonna sing an abba song? Who knows? The list who will be competing try to represent Norway at Eurovision is actually released in a couple of days, in January the 5th. So then we'll find out what's happening and if they're gonna try for Eurovision 2024. Oh, please, please, please, please, hear my spirit in the sky and Compete again at Eurovision.
Speaker 1:While I was getting ready for today's show, right before I burnt my potatoes to death, post popped up in my insta feed from Eurovision saying oh, eurovision 2024, welcome the Caribbean. Hint wink. We're not gonna reveal what's happening yet. Oh my lord, the feed was exploding. There were some very angry people saying well, why don't we just call it world Vision. We're just, we're just letting everyone compete. Now a lot of angry people with that sentiment. I'm gonna be honest, I actually don't think it's anything as huge announcement as that I'm gonna put my money on. A Rum company is going to be supporting, or the new alcohol brand for Eurovision 2024. So the Caribbean, I don't know. It's probably gonna be like Malibu, or Rum like Captain Morgan or who knows. I hope it is Malibu. We actually drink Malibu every year at Eurovision.
Speaker 1:Oh, on a side note, do you want it? Okay, so a couple of years ago now, my house got broken into. Some crackheads broken, completely, ransacked my house. They obviously got disturbed by something, just, you know, picked up whatever they could and ran. When I came home and in every room of my house there was, you know, they'd got like a box or like a storage crate or a bag when they were like piling up all the stuff that they were going to steal from that Room. So it was just, it was really awkward.
Speaker 1:You know, in the bedroom there's like all of my earrings and like jewelry is in a box. In the office, you know, there was my laptop. They were like my terminator to action figures, you monsters. And In the dining room, obviously, I've got like the shelf where I've got all of the alcohol and the booze. So they had a box and they'd taken all the vodka off the shelf, and the gym beam and the Moet, and all of this is in the box ready to go.
Speaker 1:Even the Midori, the blue Caraco, everything except they left on the shelf two bottles of Malibu. They weren't even Touched, and I know because, like the Midori and the blue Caraco was behind the Malibu, so they had to reach behind the Malibu. So apparently that's how you find out who's a crackhead. Yeah, and that's when they arrest someone, when my, they get found with my jewelry and my belongings one day and they're gonna be like no, no, no, we didn't do it. I'm gonna tell the police to offer them a Malibu and if they say no, guilty, so Malibu. If you're listening.
Speaker 1:There's another chance for a marketing opportunity, as well as Eurovision 2024. Also, feel free to sponsor the douche power podcast. Look, honestly, I felt so judged. I'm like don't judge me, crackheads. Malibu was a delicious drink, oh my lord. Especially, I'm gonna give you a recipe for the most amazing Malibu cocktail ever. We'll wait for that sponsorship. For now, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go and try and figure out what I can have for lunch tomorrow. That's not a burnt potato. Come join me for the next episode. I always go all the next episode. It's out on Monday and then I put it out on Monday, completely forgetting that I'm supposed to put it out on Friday. But I'll try and get better with that. Let us know what do you prefer? Do you prefers Mondays, fridays? Is it supposed to be Thursday? Oh Lord, I can't remember. Anyway, again, I, I don't. I don't have the, I don't have the brain, I don't have the, I don't have the memory for the, for the schedule, all the potatoes, or look shiny things. Oh, your vision 2024.