Douze Points! - The Eurovision Podcast
Eurovision, but not as you know it! Australia's biggest weekly Eurovision podcast, giving you all the dirt, all the drama and all the scathing opinions you love to hear about the Contest we live for!
Douze Points! - The Eurovision Podcast
Dance Battles and Depression: What Eurovision 2025 Taught Us
Guess who's back in the Eurovision hot seat? After equipment delays and mental cobwebs, your favourite straight-talking podcast host returns to dissect Eurovision 2025 in all its controversial glory.
Eurovision 2025 might not have delivered the strongest musical offerings, but it certainly provided enough drama, debates, and dance battles to keep fans entertained long after the confetti settled. The standout moment? That unexpected lyrical face-off between Baby Lasagna and Käärijä during what was supposed to be a simple interval act. When these two Eurovision icons hit the stage together, not a single viewer could resist squealing with delight. This "Eurodab" battle proved that while winning the trophy matters, sometimes winning the hearts of Eurovision fans is the real victory.
Behind the sequins and key changes, this year's contest revealed fascinating cultural fault lines. Finland and Malta's performances highlighted what appears to be "the final taboo" – women's sexuality – triggering global conversations about representation and acceptance. Meanwhile, the enhanced anti-booing technology sparked debates about authenticity versus production values in broadcasting. Is it censorship or simply good television production? We'll unpack these questions and more in upcoming episodes, including a deep dive into the annual voting "controversies" that never seem to surprise yet always manage to inflame the Eurovision community.
The podcast takes an unexpected but welcome turn when addressing post-Eurovision depression, offering practical mental health advice and emergency self-care tips (paper plates, anyone?). Whether you're suffering from Eurovision withdrawal or depression, remember that reaching out for professional help isn't weakness – it's winning at life. Subscribe now for our upcoming episodes featuring special guests, including the "continuously shirtless" Sam Tarling and various Eurovision personalities. Until then, take comfort knowing Austria awaits us in 2026!
#eurovision
Hey, bonjour, guten Tag Privet. Hello you, beautiful mother truckers, and welcome back to the Deux Poids. I was about to say the Deux Poids contest. Woo my lord. It was such a whirlwind, as you know.
Speaker 1:After the whole that was last year and all the continual drama, I took a little break. Then I ordered new equipment. It took so long for the new equipment to arrive. It pretty much arrived just before the beginning of Eurovision. I finally got things set up. I feel like I'm only just ready now for Eurovision to start.
Speaker 1:Ah, I missed it. My head was just all over the place. Oh, you know, the juries don't vote in the semifinals and I'm like I know, and someone said but you've said you're worried about what they're thinking and I'm like awkward brain fluff. So, yes, thank you Richard, you are 100% correct. You know that. I know that Brain fluff Stressing if the juries were going to react negatively to. Honestly, I think the problem is it's been too long. Clearly, since I've I need to blow the cobwebs out.
Speaker 1:We did also have a complaint from the member of the public who said, as they criticised me how dare you criticise the Eurovision golden performers? Who do you think you are? Believe me when I say I am the absolute last person that you should come to for life advice. I drink too much, I swear too much, I'm always late. I am deathly afraid of commitment and filled with disgust at the thought of a long-term commitment to anything other than a cat or a podcast. I have inexplicable fashion sense, a total disregard for the seriousness of makeup, I'm broke, I'm overweight, I've got a face that says I was one of the 100 people in the fight against the gorilla and lost. I am not on the property ladder, my car is only slightly younger than me and I once woke up terrified from a deep sleep, thinking that a wild bush pig had crashed into my room when really I had just snored myself awake. But you know what? Life is too damn short for me to not make fun of people dancing in rubber suits and 2000s house music. Relax, man, come on. I'm a performer. We all know it. Sometimes we have performances where we soar, sometimes we have absolute shockers, and let us never forget at any stage that this is not the Eurovision song loving. This is the Eurovision song loving. This is the Eurovision song contest, and you can't have a contest without breaking a few cunts.
Speaker 1:And Eurovision 2025, it certainly was the year of the contest, especially with Finland and Malta flying the pink flag, but we are going to have a whole episode on that issue and the world's apparent reaction. We have found the final taboo. It's women's sexuality, as we found out. Apparently, you can say anything in this world unless it's the one K word. That's right. Move over F word, p word. The cunt is here. Oh my Lord, I wish I had some like jazzy here. Come the guns, step up. I'm the drummer, but we have so much to unpack and we're going to unpack it over a few episodes. We're not going to put you in a trance and make you sit down and listen to the next 12 hours straight. We're going to look at it all. We're going to look at the ones that did, the ones that didn't and the ones that dub, dub, dub.
Speaker 1:Eurovision 2025. Whoa, what a year. While this may not have been the strongest musical year that we have ever had, by Lord, it still had it all. It had the three Ks, cont, cunts and garage, proving that while some people win the contest, some people just win Eurovision. I am, of course, talking about what was supposed to be that light interval. Get us through the thinking voting process. Through the thinking voting process ultimate knife fight battle between baby lasagna and caraj. When we saw the two of them come out and start to lyrically battle, I am confident in saying there is not one person in the world who didn't let out a little eeeeee of excitement. This is how all conflict should be resolved from now on. Performance dance battles in the interval of the Eurovision act, everyone just builds their shit up and then they come to Eurovision. Everyone battles it out on stage. We crown a winner, everyone hugs it out. We go home happy Woo. But I think we can all agree. No matter which song you were rooting for in this year's contest, I think we can all agree that Eurodab was the real winner of Eurovision 2025. My only regret oh, there is a part of me that genuinely would have loved to have seen Eurodab as a Eurovision entry. Nailed it, oh my God, eurorogasm.
Speaker 1:We're also, in another episode, going to take a deep dive into the controversy. It's not controversy, it literally happens every year. It astounds me that people think we aren't going to be having this same conversation that we have every year. There's not a huge controversy here. Honestly, let's joke every recent year between first and second place. But just for you guys, we will check the books just to make sure there's no controversy.
Speaker 1:We also know that this is the time of year where some people begin to fall into the Eurovision depression. But try to look on the bright side. Maybe it's not Eurovision depression, maybe it's just depression. And you know what my first instinct is? I want to say you know what? That's okay, but it's not okay. But it is okay, it's okay because you know what mental health is a real thing and it's only natural. It is only human to feel depressed now and then.
Speaker 1:But if you're finding yourself depressed all the time, honestly reach out to someone. This is the absolute best thing that you can do. I recommend reach out to a stranger. I recommend a professional, not people on the bus. I'm not going to say it's bad advice, but you know what. You deserve better, boo, you deserve better. Reach out to a therapist, a teacher, a pastor, whosoever your vibe. Reach out to them. Let them know you know what. I'm not feeling too good and you know what? If you are feeling a little bit of depression, do something that cheers you up and remember take care of yourself.
Speaker 1:And sometimes taking care of yourself is impossible. You don't have the strength. You barely have the strength to get up and function. You know what? Here's a little tip for you. If you're feeling sick or you're just feeling depressed, here are some cheat codes that you can use.
Speaker 1:I'm saying this because I battle with depression. Yes, I am saying it out loud for the world to hear. I am a happy person, I'm an energetic person, but sometimes you just get washed over with the saddows and it mixes with the anxiety and you have a hollowness in your heart and it feels consuming and overwhelming. Here is a cheat code I discovered. Of course I take care of pussycats. They have to eat. They get two serves of wet food each day as well as dry food.
Speaker 1:And if I'm not doing well emotionally, even things like doing the dishes just seems so impossibly out of reach. I know that sounds ridiculous. They're just dishes, do the dishes. But then you have guilt because you're not doing the dish. Shame makes you get back on the couch, you feel overwhelmed. It makes no sense, but you can't not wash the dishes because it's got cat food on it and it's fish and it will smell and but you just can't physically do the dishes.
Speaker 1:You know what? You need an emergency pack of paper disposable plates in your cupboard. And I'm sorry, forgive me, environment, but you know what. Just this, once we're going to let you off. Keep them in your cupboard for emergency situation and when you feel the blues. And doing those dishes are just too much. But you want to care for your pushy cats, you know what. You serve them their dinner on that paper plate and then at the end of the meal you pick up that paper plate and you just put it in the bin.
Speaker 1:Cats fed, well-maintained, you've kept the house clean. You're a winner, babe. And if that's what it takes for you to get through another day of the depressos, you know what. I applaud you. You walked out there. Another day of the depressos, you know what. I applaud you. You walked out there. You opened the food, you fed the cats, you put the plates in the bin. You're winning. I don't care if that's all you've done all day. Keep it positive.
Speaker 1:And you know what, if you know someone who is struggling or doing it a bit tough I know this is going to sound random and you're like, what can I do to help them? Now understand they may not want to see you come to their house and see their sadness, because with sadness and depression can usually come a lot of. You eat your meal. You've got like plates piled up next to the sink, next to the couch. There's dirty socks everywhere. They don't want you to see that. Surprise someone. I guarantee this is going to be a winner and this will definitely help. Give them a certificate or a voucher or a code for someone to come and clean their house for three hours, even if you've got to lie and be like, oh my Lord, I won this in a contest. I won two of them here. Have one, for sometimes it gets too much and the more you're in a dirty space it makes it worse. But to make it worse, you've got to get clean. But to get clean, you've got to have a clean head before you can have a clean house. Maybe then out of that sadness, they can re-find their happiness, or at least the cleaners will find their copy of the best of DJ Bobo live, and that's the same as finding happiness. Also thinking of starting a conversation on the use of anti-booing technology. Of course it was used in 2024. They doubled down with anti-booing technology in 2025.
Speaker 1:Want to get your opinions on what do you think? Like everything, there are multiple sides to this octagon, but that's eight sides, okay, what's is there a? What is it? What's the shape with all the? Anyway, you know what I mean? It's complex, there's different views, there's different opinions.
Speaker 1:Some people say, eh, you know what? It's not a true reflection of what's going on. You are oppressing my voice and I want to boo, although I really don't like booing, unless it's from the deceased, then it's fine. You boo, babe, you boo. I don't know, maybe it's my British heritage, where I'm just oh, I'm just, oh, I'm horrified by people booing, unless they're, obviously, unless it's like Hitler or Charles Manson, then please boo, boo away and boo freely, but just in general, I don't know. I, oh, I feel very awkward about it. Like you know, if someone's a dickhead or you think they suck, that's fine. I don't know. A lot of people just booing.
Speaker 1:Now I'm thinking have I ever booed anyone in my life? I mean, obviously, other than the British cricket team. Who have I booed? Surely I've booed someone. I'm a bitch. I must have booed someone. I'm trying to think. I mean, to be honest, I do boo my boss all the time. I'm always like boo, but he's always like get back to work, do your job, stop yelling at people, boo. You can't say, come to the workplace, boo, stop oppressing me, man. Then other people are like you know what. I don't want to hear your opinion. You might disagree with this or you may not like it, but I love it. Or I want to just at least pay for what I've listened to.
Speaker 1:The simple fact that anti-booing technology is absolutely nothing new and it's not limited exclusively just to Eurovision. Anti-booing technology has actually little insider secret. Has actually been used in all measures of life before, in things such as sporting events, political events. We all know that sporting events can be some of the most brutal places on earth, not just with booing, hissing, verbal comments. It's the same with political debates. I can understand how people say look, by blocking out the boos, you are taking away our expression, our opinion. But you've got to consider Eurovision.
Speaker 1:Essentially, this is a giant production. It is a production for TV. The TV, the licensing, the clips. This is how they make the majority of their money. They are selling an experience, they are selling a performance. You really think Taylor Swift is not going to block out an orange old man at the front of her concert with a few incoherent words? No, you're wiping that off the soundtrack.
Speaker 1:But saying it's a manipulation, I mean it might be seen as a bit naive. Of course it's a TV production. Everything is produced. It's there in the title. You can even change the selling of what the crowd is vibing and experiencing to by selective placing of your microphones. Do you put your microphones for crowd reaction by randos? No, there's always in everything. It doesn't matter what it is. Even if everyone's there for it, living it, loving it, there is always gonna be a drunk uncle yelling something. Do you randomly put microphones in there? No, you put it in your little cluster of hearts who are there to give nothing but happiness and love. But we're going to put some people in a room and we're going to poke them with sticks until we get a reaction and some controversy.
Speaker 1:Obviously we're covering all of the usual stuff that you get at Eurovision. If there's anything in particular you want us to break down or get a snarly opinion on, let us know. But certainly come with me over the next year the next year as I work tirelessly to try to understand this very expensive piece of machinery that I had to take on a second job to pay for just so I could bitch about people dancing in rubber costumes and 2000s house music. Also going to try making some more videos. I'm laughing because you could see the face that my cat just gave me. She's not a fan, neither, apparently, was anyone else on the internet, but you're not tuning into this episode or possibly this cry for help. We'll see how it comes out in the editing process, but just wanted to give you a heads up.
Speaker 1:In the next couple of weeks we are going to start pounding them out. Like we said, let us know if there's an issue, if there's something you want us to consider, touch on, argue about. We are going to bring back the sexy and continuously shirtless Sam Tarling to give us his opinion. We're also going to hassle up some Eurovision randos. I'm going to look towards purchasing an office chair that doesn't make a squeak, squeak every time I move. I will, however, never swear less. Dress better, or yes, I'm looking at you 2000s house. In the meantime, don't worry if it makes you feel badder. Most of the world is doing as badly as you are. But just remember Eurovision 2026,. We are going to Austria, which means we are going to have so much delicious Conchita worst nourishment to get us through these cold, eurovision-less months, cunt.
