Fish Cults And Chair Dancing At Eurovision: Armenia Unpacked

Armenia’s been living through big headlines, and we can’t stop thinking about how that pressure leaks into pop culture.

Then we pivot to Eurovision 2026 and ask the question that matters for fans: what does a national reset look like on a stage built for spectacle? Armenia skips a national final and internally selects Simon, the 2025 runner-up who did far better with juries than with the public. We unpack his background, the broadcaster’s strategy, and why “trying to be iconic” can backfire when authenticity is what actually reads through the camera.

Finally, we get into the song itself: “Paloma Rumba”.  We talk sound, tempo, lyrics made for burned-out nine-to-fivers, the System of a Down comparisons people are hearing, and the extra earworm credibility from co-writer Rosa Linn of “Snap” fame. If you love Eurovision analysis, Armenia Eurovision news, and staging reads that go beyond the surface, this one’s for you. Subscribe, share the episode with a mate, and leave a review with your prediction: are you backing “Paloma Rumba” for the grand final?

#eurovision #eurovisionsong contest #eurovisionpodcast #eurovisionaustralia #eurovisionfunny

Transcript

Welcome And Armenia Preview

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Bonjour, good dog, prevent. Hello, and welcome back to the De Spoil podcast. Grab a hold of your hat, grab a hold of your leggings, grab a hold of your cats. As this episode, we take a deep dive into Armenia. We see what has shaped the country in the last 12 months. We look at who they picked, the interesting circumstances as to how this came about, and the song they've selected and how that represents how Armenia is feeling. It's gonna be one hell of a show. And Amenia it? Oh that isn't that. Trying to sum up the last sort of 12 months for Armenia is quite a complicated issue because it has had some quite instrumental, groundbreaking things have been occurring, including an amazing peace agreement between Armenia and Azerbaijan, who have been fighting well for about 40 years, contesting ownership over certain parts, really sort of centering around four villagers. But as we know, it's never just about the village. It's the soil, it's the history, it's the people, it's the principle. 40 years this disagreement has been going back and forth, but there is a tender peace initiative happening at the moment. Yay! See? Sometimes it sadly takes a while, but peace can happen. We can get there. Of course, like most decisions in politics and peace agreements, not everybody is going to be happy with every decision. Some people, some organizations, and even a church decided to get involved, demanding resignations, throwing up, ripping up of the peace accords, thinking there were too many concessions this way or the other. No peace deal is ever going to be perfect. But the fact that they've managed to get this far is a wonderful thing. Really rather sort of unexpected knock-on effects. One of those is that Armenia basically expressed it didn't feel that Russia was there to support it during this conflict and the situation and everything that sort of unfolded. So Armenia has been working to sort of remove itself from the Collective Security Treaty Organization. Basically, it was a Russian-led collective of countries. Armenia has decided, yeah, you know what, Russia, you weren't there for me when we needed it. So Armenia has been trying to withdraw its itself, I guess, from Russia and its Russian dependence. And it's been looking more towards the EU and the US, but is anyone really looking to make friends with the US at the moment? So Armenia has been trying to position itself sort of away from a Russian-centric model and more towards a EU-Western embracing approach. Meanwhile, there's been attempted coups, attempted assassinations. It's really quite a charged period. I did do some search to try to find some lighter, positive developments that have happened to Armenia over the last year. I found one article and Perked Up where it said, archaeologists have recently solved the mystery surrounding Armenia's 6,000-year-old dragon stones. So that accidentally led me down a rabbit warren to look discover what are Armenia's giant 6,000-year-old dragon stones. I actually recommend that you pop online, or if you're near Armenia, pop on over and have a look. They were sort of built around the same period as Stonehenge, and there's a few sort of different designs and different areas in Armenia. One, basically, it's just this sort of like really big, large, sort of, I guess, sperm-shaped rock, but they've all been like carved and chiseled, representing, you know, images of fishing and herding and cows. Some of them are just sort of lying horizontally. Some of them are placed quite dramatically, sort of vertically up into the air. And reading the article on what was the solving of the mystery, like this obviously took an amount of work to move these giant megaliths, these giant stones into position. And then the countless hours that would have been spent to individually carve all of them. The person who says, haha, we've solved it. Okay, basically the long vertical one that's in the shape of a fish that has pictures of fish carved into it. One archaeologist has decided, whew, you know what? That was probably made by people who liked fish. It was a fish cult. Can't believe four years of university and 30 years in the field. And that's the best option you've got to us. That's the best explanation. I could have told you the people liked fish. But I have to somehow think there is a bigger, more important issue that we might be missing. To be honest, people who put up those fake fish that sing songs, they like fish. Doesn't mean they're out in their backyard carving 80-foot monolith to them. But okay, look, you know what? Like peace. I know, breathe out, it has to start somewhere. A new tomorrow, it starts ah somewhere. Perhaps that new tomorrow is starting for Armenia at Eurovision 2026. Now, Armenia has had some real highs and lows in the past as far as it comes to Eurovision. They've had years where they have failed to even qualify. And then in other years, such as 2008 and 2014, they managed to secure a fourth place in the final 2014. Of course, with Aram MP3's one of my absolute faves at Eurovision. I love that one. I mean, it was never gonna rise above the Phoenix, but oh, I love it. Now, over the years, they've had different processes to select who was gonna represent them at Eurovision. They've had internal secret decisions, they've had live broadcasted events where the public got to vote. But in 2017, 2018, 2020, and 2025, the broadcaster has organized and televised the Dep Efristelli. The winner was decided from a combination of votes from the jewelry and international jewelry and votes from the public. Now, last year it was actually won by Pag, who went to Eurovision with I'm a survivor! I'm a the net. Look, that's how the tune goes in my head. And the person who came second was Simon with a babade boy. Now, what's interesting is the runner-up, Simon, actually got a higher vote and won the Jewelry Award and won the International Jewelry Award. However, only secured a fourth place from the public vote. He received 40 around 4,300 votes while Pag received over 7,000. So around 2026. And what does Armenia do? It is a country trying to free itself from old regimes into the new. What does it do? It decides it will not have a national contest this year. Internally, broadcasters chose to go back and select the runner-up from 2025, Simon, to represent Armenia at Eurovision in 2026. So what do we know about Simon? He was born on the 9th of August 1994. Doing the math for you. He's about 31 years this year. I say about it's your age. You can choose to be whatever you want to be. He was born in Razdan, Armenia, to a family of doctors. So what do you do when you're born of doctors surrounded by doctors? You well, you go and study economics, of course. He studied economics at university. However, never actually went and got a job in economics. He went and got the degree and then launched himself into a music and dance career. And has spent the last few years apparently is well known in certain clubs across Armenia for his singing and dancing performances. His family apparently often joked that he'd learnt how to sing and dance before. He could even learn how to walk and talk. See, there's no point hiding in the closet. Your family usually knows long before you do. Don't hide your theatrical self in the closet or behind an economics degree. If you want to be a pop and locker, then my god, be the best pop and locker you can be. You will be poorer, but simultaneously much, much richer. Now going back and looking at the National Live performance from 2025. Well, it certainly is something. And I can definitely see juries oh frothing at the mouth of this, and the public 100% saying, sorry, what's going on? To be honest, I think this is a case of the juries. It's like the reviewers who say that 2001 A Space Odyssey is one of the greatest films ever made. It's from people who are too stuck up their own ass and scared to admit they don't know what the hell is going on either. Look, I think the stage production from last year was trying so hard to be iconic. It went through the eye of the needle and came out a little bit cliched. That's the thing about an iconic performance. It doesn't set out to be iconic. It just sets out to be who it is. And its authenticity becomes iconic. I feel this dash of cliched originality. Look, it looked at like something that should be in the 28 years later, the Bone Temple. Also, the promo, the official promo photo they use for this, I am gonna use it as the little thumbnail to this episode. If this is not a cover to your favorite porn film, then I don't know what is. I yes, so I can see why the Jewelries voted for it. I can see why the public said no. And look, I wasn't necessarily the greatest fan of Survivor last year. I think he dedicated too much of his energy into running that he could have put into actually singing and hitting a note. And I've said it before, and I'll set it again: costume is not mud is not a costume. But I actually think the public was right to vote for it rather than Simon's song from last year. So, what is Armenia going to be bringing to the stage at Eurovision 2026? For all those who don't want to know a thing about the actual song, now is the time to close your ears because we are about to discuss the 2026 Armenia song. Paloma Rumba, presented by Simon. Now, the official video for this, whether they've intended to do it or it's just subconsciously happened, I think this is also very much a representation of what's currently happening in Armenia. It begins off, it's set in an office. It's very much a Soviet bloc era, very much grey, everyone is in the death cubicles. Simon's looking very unhappy, just trying to make the bloody photocopier work. You know no one else is stocking up on the paper, even though they've been printing all day. Nobody stocks it up. Oh my god. And Cien, why are we out of Cien all the time? Who's printing in Cyan? His boss, a beautiful woman, comes over and rejects his files, throw them in his face. And Simon laments his sadness of the office in also what is almost an artistic recreation of the film office space, complete with post-it notes, as he attempts to dance himself away from the economic blues and into the sensual nightlife of Eurovision. Now, what we can see already from the official video, this song, this performance, is going to be very much a dance routine. I'm quite excited for the potential of this number. It is obviously gonna be people in grey suits and ties, and they are gonna break them free. Mmm, I can smell the costume change coming already. There is only one thing that worries me, and a problem that you're actually gonna hear discussed in a couple of days when we do our special From the Bunker episode. We are, of course, talking about the year that the Sun Stroke Project fought chairs and the chairs won. A lot of this film clip is centered around Simon and the other dancers in their office chairs. I'm calling it now there is gonna be a lot of artistic chair dancing on the Eurovision stage for this one. Back the house on it. The song actually have an amazing, catchy, frantic beat. And with lyrics such as this whole meeting could have been an email, you know it is gonna be popular with those nine to fivers through it. Oh, there is a furious drum beat going in the background. And looking at the comments that people have said on their initial reaction to the video, there's one person who's actually made a comment saying, Oh, ooh, I hear a bit of system of a down in this. To which some people I think were quite harsh in their clap back, denying they hear system of a down. But you know what, random person on the internet, you are not crazy. I hear it too. System of a down, of course. An amazing Armenian American band formed in 1994. You will know them for Chopsouri. Why have you forsaken me? You wanna do? Insert headbanging. So I get it. The furious drumming. The other secret weapon of this song, the lyrics were co-written by Rosa Lynn, who of course had the shock success of Eurovision 2022 with her song Snap, which just became an unstoppable machine on TikTok. So it has the earworm pedigree. Also, I don't want to be superficial, but if you have ever seen this man without a shirt, then I think you know exactly why this one is gonna go straight through to the grand final. It's fun. Everyone in the office hates working in the office. And did I mention the chest on this man? Dancer's body. You know what I'm saying. Oh, and do I even have to mention this is gonna be sold to people who do Zumba. Roomba, Zumba, it's close enough. And also, everyone in the world who owns a Roomba, one of those little floor vacuums, you can program it. Oh my lord, everyone out right now. Run and reprogram your Roomba to play this banger as it cleans the house unstoppable. Look, it's fun, it's crazy, it has hints of the traditional it bangs with the modern. Oh, Armenia. I know it's been a tough time, but the future looks bright.