Greece: Are you ready to Ferto?

Greece does what Greece does best: it steps onto the Eurovision stage and refuses to be miserable. We talk about Greece’s 2026 pick and we react in real time to a song that’s equal parts baffling and brilliant. We also set up the semi-final context, why Greece’s placement matters, and we share a piece of Eurovision party trivia you’ll actually use!

If you enjoyed the mix of real-world context and Eurovision chaos, subscribe, share the episode with a mate, and leave us a review so more fans can find us. What’s your verdict on Greece’s 2026 entry: genius, nonsense, or both?

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Transcript

Cold Open And What’s That Noise

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Bonjour, good dog, prevents, hello, and welcome back to the My God, what is that? What is that flapping? What is that up there in the trees? My god, is that uh Juice Po podcast? Hello and welcome back as we take a cheeky little look at Greece Wappa. Let us head on down to the crystal clear blue waters of Greece and ask, what's been happening? Well, the past 12 months, Greece has delivered the classic double feature. Decent growth on the spreadsheet, relentless headlines everywhere else. The GDP is projected at roughly 2.1%, backed by EU recovery and resilience funding, investment, and tourism. Because somebody somewhere out there, no matter the financial crisis, is still booking trips. It seems to Greece and Japan. I think even with World War Three minutes away, people will still be getting off the jet planes and rushing straight to the 7-Eleven because they too want to try those fluffy egg sandwiches. So the people are flooding in, they are loving Greece, they are loving those beautiful sands. However, the cost of living for citizens is no holiday. The citizens of Greece are suffering under higher rents, and inflation keeps squeezing households and reviving the question of who exactly gets the recovery package. It's not the people. Ha! I was gonna say living there, but thanks to places like Airbnb squeezing the market, people can't afford to live in their own, in their own cities anymore. In politics, the government is too busy trying to figure out a farm fraud scandal. With over 300 people accused of claiming false EU agriculture subsidies. So far, there has been 37 arrests as three cabinet ministers, including the agriculture minister, having to resign as people called for elections due to a lack of faith and systemic corruption. What is it gonna take to get one politician not on the take? But it is not just government politics rent that is whipping the people of Greece. It's also the climate and the environment. A deadly wildfire season, followed up by fatal storms and flash floods. Dust storms turned skies red, all linked to extreme climate fluctuations. Though politics are ruined, the farms are ruined, the environment is ruined. Now, public transport ruined. Anger every day continuing to grow over safety failures, which has already led to an ongoing tragic train accident. The government's answer, and this seems to be a response for a few governments lately. Their idea is to ban social media for children under 15. Because apparently the timeline needs an age rating. I don't think it's the games that are terrifying the kiddos at this stage. I think that's reality. Meanwhile, schools keep closing as birth rates continue to fall, with over 700 schools being shut in the last couple of years. In January of 2026, just when you think that things can't possibly get worse, the unthinkable happens. And the happiest place on earth, a cookie factory, explodes and kills five people. Even the cookies have turned against the people. Things are falling apart. What can we possibly do to fix this? I know, says the government. Let's spend$750 million in the audiovisual sector to promote Greece on the screen. Yes. That's what we need. Because somebody has to live that beautiful life, even if it is just on the screen, because we just can't afford it in real life. Could this be why Greece has selected its hero? It has selected Ikylas Mitilanos, born on the 11th of February 1999. Hey, another Aquarius. He is another person who has been picked from the TikTok universe. Now, before we cast doubt, remember this is how Sam Ryder got his start and gave the UK its best result in 200 million thousand years. So maybe Achilles is a TikTok artist who has also been to music school and as well as culinary school. He worked for two years as a singer on a cruise ship for the Ada Cruise Company. So if you have ever been on the Ada Cruise Company, check back through your photos. You may have been entertained by an upcoming Eurovision star. In 2021, he participated in the eighth season in The Voice of Greece. Look, he didn't won, but he won our hearts on TikTok. And let's see if the Sam Ryder effect is gonna apply to Greece this year in 2026. Oh my lord, the juries are gonna hate this. This is why we come to Eurovision. This is crazy. This is unhinged. I've watched it twice. I still don't know what the hell is going on. I don't think anyone knows what the hell is going on, but in the best possible way, this is Greece. What they do, they have come to the Eurovision stage year after year, tragedy after tragedy, from economic ruin to disaster. You know what? When you're at the bottom, you can either cry and mellow. Or you can be Greece and you can sing and dance your way through it. Whopper! Although I want to mention, is this the first time ever that Greece has been on the Eurovision stage and has not given us a whopper and a bit of a, you know, that line dance. Whoa! I kept waiting for it to happen. It never happened. There is also a weird, I don't know, cat vibe hat thing going on. And frankly, as a crazy cat enthusiast, I am here for it. Does this make sense? No. Will it win? Also, no, but bless you, Greece, for doing it. It was worth every penny. I am gonna get drunk and I am gonna pay this at every Eurovision party for the rest of my life. It's in semi-final one. It is song number four. Oh, and it's quite interesting because it is going to be in the semifinal. It is directly after Croatia with Andromeda, one of the most serious and intense songs of the competition. So ha ha ha. That you're probably that were like, oh my lord, how do we bring it back to a party after that intense moment? The answer Greece. Whoopa! God, I love you. Greece never change. I mean, I am disappointed you're not succas, but fueto! And for those who are wondering, here's a little bit of trivia for your Eurovision party. If you're wondering, feto, feto, feto, feto, it is a Greek phrase meaning bring it, commonly used to express readiness or challenge. Fueto, fueto, fueto, fueto. That is your challenge. Pop it into a conversation this week. I don't know how I have ever survived without a fueto fueto. And obviously, it is compulsory. Throw your arms into the air. Fueto, fueto, fueto. It's not gonna win, but my lord, I appreciate this 200%.