Romania On Hard Mode

Romania’s had the sort of year that makes you ask how a country can keep functioning at all:  Romania’s answer to all that pressure is… a Eurovision entry called “Choke Me”. 

 We also try not to clutch our pearls as we dive into the controversy head-on, and why clear consent and honest communication are the difference between kink and assault.

If you’re into Eurovision analysis, European politics, or the way pop culture reflects national mood, you’ll get plenty out of this one, including why the song feels tailor-made for televoters even if juries resist. Listen now, share it with a mate who loves Eurovision drama, and leave us a review then tell us: where do you draw the line on what belongs on the Eurovision stage?

#eurovision #eurovisionsong contest #eurovisionpodcast #eurovisionaustralia #eurovisionfunny

Transcript

Romania’s Wild Year Begins

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So let's take a look at Romania and what the last 12 months has held for them. Basically, the last 12 months has been a verified, true crime comedy of drones, measles, and democracy on hard mode. Romania's pretty much spent the last 12 months being trapped in a group chat with NATO, Russia, and the EU. But before we can even touch on that, let's start with the measles outbreak. Because nothing says modern European nation like a disease we solved in the 1960s, making a triumphant comeback tour. Because everybody's decided to go anti-vax. This is the problem. We've had it too good for too long. People don't remember how nasty this shit is. Romania didn't just lead Europe in measles cases though. It dominated. It swept the charts. It went platinum. It became the Beyoncé of preventable illnesses. Public officials were begging people to get vaccinations, and over half the country responded like, what if we don't? How about that? There were so many measle cases in Romania. 85% of all of the measle cases in the entire EU were concentrated in Romania. Over 25 and a half thousand people got the measles. Here's dep- There are so many things currently in the world that are all out to kill us. How about we maybe just eliminate the ones we can prevent? This was running alongside judicial corruption. A documentary was released. A documentary that made everyone say, oh, oh no. Captured justice was a documentary that revealed Romania's justice system was being run with the organizational discipline of a toddler's birthday party. Judges described political interference, prosecutors described intimidation, the public described the whole thing as absolutely not. Thousands protested in the streets for five straight days. Even the president had to step in and get involved and say, yeah, you know what? We're totally gonna get on that. This was also happening while Romania spent the year dodging Russian drones like it was competing on Ninja Warrior Eastern Flank Edition. Even by early 2026, Romania had recorded over several drones breaching their borders. Drones crossed the border, debris fell, NATO jets scrambled. Villages near the area got so many alerts from their phones, started vibrating out of pure muscle memory. Economically, Romania had the vibe of someone who keeps saying, I'll start budgeting in next month, right after I start my diet. Growth slowed, deficits ballooned. The European Commission had a look at Romania's numbers and simply said, look, we're not mad, we're just disappointed. Things have got so bad, Romania's deficit hit 9.3% of its GDP. It's the fiscal equivalent of ordering Uber Eats three times a day and saying, why? Why is my bank account crying? Despite everything, the drones, the protests, the measles, the fiscal chaos, Romania remained the most responsible person at the geopolitical dinner party. Hosting NATO battle groups. Done. Running major military exercises. Done. Keeping a straight face while Russia throws drones over the river. Done. Romania has been showing up, bringing snacks and trying its best to fix the group project while everybody else argues around them. It's politically falling apart, financially falling apart, and everybody has the measles, but yet Romania remains standing. Tired, sarcastic, slightly singed by drone debris, but still showing up to work. Like, eh, I've seen worse. So the question is, has this had an effect on the song that it has chosen for re representation at Eurovision? Romania has selected Alexandra Kapanascu with her song Choke Me. Now, for those who think they didn't hear correctly what I said, I said choke me. Or sorry, choke me. Choke me. Alexandra was born on the 31st of July 2003. She first rose to national fame in 2023 when she won The Voice of Romania. Shortly afterwards, she released her debut, EB, Capitan U, and a string of singles. She's actually a master's student at the Faculty of Physics in Bucharest. That's right, the Faculty of Physics. Having already earned her undergraduate degree, she has put things on hold at the moment, you know, just to do a little thing, compete in the Eurovision song contest, have an electric career. But she says she has always been drawn to science and plans to specialize as a medical physicist. And for those wondering, a medical physicist basically is a healthcare professional who applies physic principles, methods, and techniques to prevent, diagnose, and treat human disease, primarily in fields like radiation oncology, diagnostic imaging, and nuclear medicine. Medical physicists ensure the safe and accurate use of radiation, manage technology, and develop new high precision treatments. So this woman has a brain the rest of us can only dream of. And I find it very ironic that a country that refuses to acknowledge the benefits of vaccines is sending a doctor to Eurovision. So let's have a look and have a listen of Alexandra Chook me. Now it is safe to say that this song has caused a little wave of controversy, with some people declaring it's not appropriate to have a woman singing a song about being choked on such a national platform. We are not here to kink shame, and this is a song, this is not a song about some random person coming up and strangling a victim. This woman is very much in the control. It is in a consensual agreement. I think we need, I think this would be a great time to actually have a conversation with young people, especially young men, to let them know. Look, it's important to know, even if you are curious to try something like this, like choking, any kind of BDSM, it's important that you have to have an honest and open discussion with the person first. You can't just surprise this on somebody. Surprising this on somebody is what's known as assault. There is very much a difference between a kink and assault. And just because one person likes it, it doesn't mean everybody likes it. Personally, I'm a big old fatty. I know what it's like when I work out hard in the gym and I can't catch my breath. I certainly don't want to feel like that in the middle of a twiddledee, twiddledee session. But everyone to their own. You go girl, love me, make my lungs explode. You probably weren't expecting the big opera drop in the middle of the goth metal. Choke me extravaganza, but it's Eurovision and it just makes sense. Without any hesitation or I think any doubt in the world, I think we can safely say that Germany has already assigned 12 points to Romania. It is dark, it is gothy, it is kinky. If ever anything was made for Eurovision, it is this song. It won't win, the juries won't allow it, but have no doubt this one is going straight through to the grand final. Look it in. It is kicking off as song number three at semi-final two. And you know what, to be honest, I just feel bad for Luxembourg, who has to do her sweet message about Mother Nature straight after this one. It's just gonna crush Mother Nature because as much as we love the planet, we don't love it as much as we love a kinky mother.