Slava Ukraine!

Slava Ukraine!

#eurovision #eurovisionsong contest #eurovisionpodcast #eurovisionaustralia #eurovisionfunny

Transcript

Welcome And What’s Coming Up

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Bonjour, good dog, prevent, hello, and welcome back. You know what time it is. It's Deuce Bois Podcast. Gather round ye children, as we have a look at Ukraine in the last 12 months and we discussed the absolute cluster. That was Vidbar 2026 to pick Ukraine's act. But firstly, let's have a look what has happened in Ukraine in the last 12 months. Well, the past 12 months, we're basically watching the world's most expensive, most dangerous game of tug of war. Except the rope is a country and both sides are like, no, no, we're winning while the rope is on fire. Here's where things stand. Russia spent 2025 throwing everything it had at the battlefield. Troops, artillery, tactics, probably a few IKEA manuals trying to grind forward. And they did gain ground, thousands of square kilometers, but also at a cost so high it makes a casino look like a savings account. Massive casualties, shrinking gains, an economy now basically running on war spending and vibes. And Ukraine? Ukraine responded the way a scrappy underdog does by turning into a drone-powered MacGyver-style war machine, hitting oil refineries, military sites, and anything in Russia that looks like it might explode, interestingly on camera. Because nothing says deterrence like, hey, nice infrastructure you'd got there. I'd hate for something to happen to it. On the ground, it has been messy. Front lines barely move, then suddenly lurch, then stall again. Russia launches offensives trying to open new fronts, only to get bogged down in the mug. By 2026, Ukraine starts to claw back land. So militarily, what have we learned? We've learned that modern warfare is apparently a lot like World War One, but with Wi-Fi. Meanwhile, the United States, which used to be Ukraine's biggest backer, basically said in 2025, you know what? Dramatically dropped from America, like 99% gone. And suddenly Europe is having to find the money to fill in the gap. Meanwhile, there has been peace talks and more peace talks and more peace talks. There have been multiple rounds of negotiation since 2025. Plans have been drafted, revised, leaked, argued over, nearly agreed to, completely not. At one point, they were like 90 to 95% agreed. The only problem was that last 5 to 10%, which was tiny details like, you know, who gets to keep control of the Ukraine, what security guarantees look like, and you know, just stuff like whether Ukraine is allowed to exist independently at all without getting invaded again. You know, the minor stuff. At this stage, there is no clean way forward. Russia doesn't want to give up the territory it's taken. Ukraine doesn't want to surrender their territory. It kind of likes being a country. The US wants a deal but won't pay for it. Europe wants stability, but still has to keep forking out more and more money. So instead, the war just continues. Four years in, and we've arrived at the most depressing possible conclusion. Not a stalemate exactly, more like a slow, grinding equilibrium of destruction. Where both sides adapt just fast enough to keep it going. And that's the real headline of the year. Not breakthrough, not collapse, not peace, just endurance. And if there is one thing we have learned over time, it's this. The Ukrainian people do endure. Hey, Russian warship. Go fuck yourself. Now, before we even get to the act that will be representing the Ukraine at Eurovision 2026, let's take a quick cheeky look at Vidbar 2026. Of course, Vidbar is the contest in which the Ukraine picks its representative. Vidbar this year has been an absolute cluster. Now, Jamala was appointed as the artistic director of Ukraine's Vidbar 2026. Of course, she's a previous winner, she knows what she's doing, but we should have known there was going to be problems from the start with the song that ultimately wins ends up was produced by Jamala. And at one stage, Jamala actually made comments in the public, basically having a go at all of the acts and all of their songs, saying that they were very underwhelming and not up to scratch. Meanwhile, some of the contestants said there were production issues. Visual effects were not happening, displays were not displayed, and all manner of technical issues. But the Ukraine is sending Lalika, who was the eventual winner of Vidva. Lalika is the music project of Victoria Lalika, which the artist found used in 2016 while living in Berlin. The singer, songer, actress has a master's degree in jazz composition and is currently studying film composition at the Battlesburg Film University and already has five albums under her belt. Her music brings together traditional Ukrainian music with a contemporary sound. And she is bringing the song Rydnum. Now I have to say, and I hate to say it, but I think this one is a misfire from the Ukraine. I am normally the hugest fan of the Ukrainian acts, and I've often said they understand Eurovision like no one else does in Europe. That's why this one just falls flat. And it's not even because it doesn't have the showmanship or the drama of gay Roman legionnaires dragging a woman playing a drum kit across the stage. It's not even that. The song is quite to be honest, I only turned it off 30 seconds ago and I could not tell you how the song goes. Look, I think this might go through because it's Ukraine, because people don't want to give zero points to Ukraine, but pretty obvious that there clearly were issues with the Vidba if this is the cream of the crop. I normally love Ukraine. And I do love you, Ukraine. Just this is not your year. Sadly, Stefania will not be taking the statue home this Eurovision. That being said, Slava Ukraine.