foundations for sustainable success

164. i'm giving you my 13 BEST tips to have success in your life, in a sustainable way. meaning a way that feels doable, light, fun and playful. 

these are the TOP tips i have used on myself, in my business, and with my clients every day.  and they work, people. 

i get a little spicy because i believe in these ideas so strongly. 

if you have goals, want success, or just want to feel better about yourself and your life, this is THE episode for you.  

if you loved what i talked about in this episode, you're going to love working with me.

i can help you feel better and get more done when you work with me 1:1. i'll help you figure out a meaningful goal, we'll create an action plan and i'll help you get unstuck all along the way. you don't have to go it alone, and you don't have to burn yourself out!

 
want to see if we are a good fit for 1:1 coaching? go to https://itstammiebennett.com/coaching and schedule a free discovery call to see if we are a good fit and find out what it looks like to work together.

 
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Transcript

tammie bennett: 0:02

You are listening to the show up society podcast. If you want to feel better about the way you show up in the world, you are in the exact right place. I'm your host certified life coach Tammie Bennett. And I'm here to help you stop giving a poop about what others think. So you can make competent decisions, your whole outlook on goals will change, too. You'll see they can be fun, doable and full of celebration, not something to be afraid of failing. And speaking of fears, I'll help you work through all of yours. So you can take more action, you're already a badass and my book. And if you want to learn how to create the life you want, then get your buns in here. And let's go. Hey, friend, welcome to episode 164 of the show up society Podcast. Today, I'm talking about the foundations for sustainable success, at least according to me. So I'm going to give you sort of the pillars of the way that I coach. So these are the things that I have learned that have helped me create success in my life and the things that I've learned to help my clients create success in their lives, all while having fun, all while having a sense of ease. So this episode is going to be really helpful for you. If you have some goals, or if you want to achieve more success. Or if you just want to generally feel better about your days and put your head on the pillow at night feeling good about yourself, then yeah, this episode is going to be for you. But first, can we just talk about my new intro? Did you even hear it? Are you one of those that skips through the intro? If you skip through the intro, go back and listen, because I'm really proud of it. I'm feeling a lot stronger in 2023, about myself and about my business and about my coaching philosophies. I'm really excited about the branding, that's to come the website that's to come. I like the new intro and outro of this podcast episode and the new podcast RT, I have have some things in the works. Okay, so I'm really excited about this just sort of more confident, kind of stronger version of me that I'm putting out this year, and I feel just so attached to my clients, I feel, I just feel like things are gonna uplevel a little bit. So kind of excited about that. Let me know what you think of the new intro. Okay, so let's get into my foundations for sustainable success. So the reason that I really felt strongly about doing this episode is because I see kind of the same themes popping up over and over and over in my life and with my clients. And also one things that I see on the internet, I'm in some Facebook groups, for coaches, among Facebook groups, for artists and creative entrepreneurs. And I just kind of see the same kind of things come up. And I feel like it's really important to let you know how I have worked my way through them. So some of these you've definitely heard before, if you've been around this podcast for even like a minute, and some of them are sort of more new, or at least this version, or this nuance of them is a little bit newer or more recent, I have a feeling I will be talking about a lot more of these in depth in the episodes to come. I have been just having ideas for podcasts pour out of me that I feel really, really strongly about, and they're all battling in my head to be heard. So I have been taking notes furiously. And so I have so many episodes in the works in my brain on paper ready to come out. But I do know that some of the things I talked about today, I'm definitely going to go into more depth in the future. So anyway, here we go. One, you've heard this before, but celebrate the shit out of yourself and your progress. Do not wait till the goal has been accomplished. Do not wait till the end of the story to celebrate, find milestones, find tiny little wins and celebrate them. So many of my clients are resistant and hesitant to celebrating some of the things that they've done because they feel too little, or they don't feel big enough or serious enough, I think it's really important for you to teach your brain that it's okay to celebrate even silly things. Because it really is all about teaching your brain to recognize and acknowledge the good that you're doing and the things that you're trying. It's so much less about the actual accomplishment than it is about you learning how to celebrate and acknowledge yourself along the way. I think that's really hard for a lot of us. And so I just want you all to practice it. Another one I think is really important is being aware of why you do or do not do something. So I spend time with my clients thinking of the things that they've done in the past week and why they did them. How were they able to get themselves out of inertia to go do the thing? How did they motivate themselves, it's really important if you can place your finger on that because then you can go motivate yourself to do something else that's a little harder, a little tricky. And also important to know why you aren't doing something. Because if you know why you aren't doing it, if you know what you're telling yourself or how you're thinking about it that makes you not want to get off your butt and go do it. Then that's something that you can change. You can change the way you think about the thing that you can change it into a way that feels more motivating to actually go do it. So for instance, you might have something like I need to clean my office space. But if you're not doing it and not doing it and not doing it, if you can figure out why you can change how you're thinking about it. So if if you're not doing it, because you think it's so overwhelming, it will take so much time, I don't know where all the papers go, you're not really going to go do it, right. But if you're telling yourself, I only have to do this one pile today, or I only have to do a little bit at a time, or once this is done, I'm gonna feel so good and free and relaxed. When you're thinking about it. That way it helps you to go do it. But first, you have to know the negative things or unusable things you're telling yourself in your brain that are making you not want to go do the thing. So just start increasing that awareness of why you are doing the things and why you are not doing the things. Third one, stop being afraid of failure. Just know that you are going to fail here and there, you're going to have mistakes, you're gonna have slip ups, you're gonna have setbacks, you're gonna have days where you don't do anything, you're gonna have days where you move backwards, you're gonna have days where obstacles pop their heads up. But you don't have to let it keep you stuck, or keep you from trying. So if you can just know if you can just get from the get go, No, you know what I'm going to set up on this journey. And I know that there's going to be some failures and setbacks along the way, and that's not going to stop me, then you will find success. If you stop being afraid of failure, and just go do the thing and move through the failure when it happens. Because it will, you will find success, because you're just gonna keep going no matter what. Fourth one, this was my philosophy for last year for myself, and it really worked. And that is to be more you more often to more people. And what I mean by that is sharing yourself with the world, the good and the bad. A lot of times we think vulnerability and authenticity means showing the bad. But I also believe that it means showing the good, showing the people, showing your friends, showing your your family, the people close to you, showing them all the parts of you and let them connect with that. And the more often you do it, the more comfortable you'll feel about showing up in the world. And the more success you will have, because you're not hiding part of yourself. It's so much easier to find success when you are being true to yourself. Number five, break down your goal into tiny doable steps. I talked about this a lot when I talk about tiny daily habits. But if you break down the steps into something so tiny that it seems almost silly, then that sounds great to me. Because if you can make it seem so doable, that your brain doesn't even fight you on it, then you'll actually go do it. And you'll make more progress than if you're looking at the whole entire project as a big whole overwhelming thing. So just kind of look at the tasks that you're setting up for yourself and say, can I make this a little bit smaller? And then let yourself give yourself credit for it. And that was my number one thing is celebrate the wins, no matter how tiny. So when you break these tasks into a tiny, tiny doable thing. So maybe it's just setting a timer and cleaning up your space for five minutes. Or maybe it's sending one email. So do that tiny thing, break it into the tiniest doable part, then do it and then give yourself credit. Don't say Yeah, but that was just such a tiny thing. It doesn't really move the needle forward. Yeah, it was such a tiny thing. It doesn't matter. That's such BS, it does matter. And it's something that you did so celebrate it and acknowledge it. Okay, this next one is a big one. Do not believe the trash talker inside of your head. This is probably one of the ones I talk about the most with my clients. As long as you are a human with a human brain, your brain will give you some nasty self talk. It will give you self doubt, it will give you fear and trepidation. It will give you comments like you're not good enough. You can't do this. That's part of being a human part of being a successful human is that you don't let that trash talker. You don't believe it. You don't let it keep you stuck. You hear the trash talk and you go oh, but actually, that's not true. Watch me. Take a look at what I'm about to do. And you don't believe the negative trash talk in your head. So when your head is telling you that you can't do this, you're like, oh, but actually I can. So the goal of coaching is not to get rid of those negative thoughts that come in, they will always come in. The goal of coaching is to not make it a problem to not be pissed at yourself when the negative thoughts come in, and then to move forward anyway, to not believe them. So I don't want you shaming and blaming yourself and getting pissed. Like I thought I have done so much self work. Why am I still having these negative thoughts? My answer is because you're a human friend. That's why and you always will have them so don't make it be a problem. Don't sweat it that they keep coming back up. Just hear it and move on. Say I hear you voice I hear you brain, I hear that you're telling me I can't do it. But it's not true. Watch me. Okay, I think this is number seven. This is also another big one that I see so often in my clients. Some of my clients are scared to put themselves out there because they don't know what people will say. They're worried about what people will think about them that they won't like them or their products, or what they're about. And here's what I say to that. There are some people in this world who won't like you, or what you stand for, or what you create, period, let's just accept it and move on. There will be people who don't like you. And I'll tell you how I know that there are over 8 billion people in the world. And there is nothing, nothing in this world that all 8 billion people agree upon. There are always people that have a different opinion. So there will always be some people out in the world who don't like you, or what you have to offer, or what you're saying, it's not a problem, you're not worried about those people. You're not here for them. You're here for the people that are going to love you ruthlessly that are going to support you that want what you have that love you and what you're about and what you offer and what you create. So focus on them. Take your focus off of the couple of naysayers or the people that disagree, and focus on the ones who love you for who you are. That's a game changer, friends. It's a game changer. Okay, the number eight one, this is one that's a little bit more recent that I've seen coming up a lot more in the last few months. And that is embrace what makes you you embrace the way you work. So I've had clients that have tried to batch content, and it doesn't work. And then they get all upset because they're not batching content. And I said why do you have to batch content, you can just create it as you go. It feels so much better when you're not trying to work in a way that doesn't work for you. I have other clients that are like, You know what, I've really tried to have a morning routine. And it just doesn't work for me. But I really get going in the evening, and I feel really good about my evening routine. Fantastic. Don't do a morning routine. I have clients that procrastinate and they make it a problem. They get so mad at themselves for procrastinating. And I'm like, Well, what if that's just how you operate? What if you work really well under tight deadlines, and you put it off and But meanwhile, you're percolating and you're having ideas in your head. And when it's go time, when it's down to the wire, you produce it all and it's amazing. So my point is find a way that works for you find the way that you work best and do that and not worry about what the world is telling that you that you should do. You don't have to have a morning routine. You don't have to batch your content, find the way that works for you. And go do that. Number nine is another one that's come up a lot for my clients recently. And I feel so strongly about this, that I think it's going to be its own podcast episode in the future. And that is stop this endless quest to better yourself. I'm seeing this so much. I'm seeing this all over Instagram, I'm seeing it with my clients, where they are on this constant never ending trip of trying to better themselves. So they're cramming in all the self development books and all the the self help podcasts. And they're trying to do all of these things like they're trying to start habits and they're trying to start morning routines. Like I said earlier, they're trying to be better, instead of just embracing who they are right now. And here's the thing, I believe in challenging ourselves, I believe in trying new things and trying to sort of improve, but it comes from a different place. So what I'm seeing a lot on the internet on seeing a lot on Instagram and with my clients is that they want to better themselves, because there's something underlying in there where they feel like they're not doing it right right now. They don't feel like they're enough right now. And they need to learn these new skills or they need to learn or develop these new habits so that they can be enough or so that they can feel good about themselves. But what happens is, is when you're telling yourself, I need to do this habit so I can be better so I can develop, you're telling yourself, I'm not good enough right now. And I think that's bullshit instead, what if you say, I'm really fucking great right now and I have my shit together. I'm a really good person, and I show up at work. And I stand up for these things. And I'm really good with my family. And I'm really good with these people. If you look at all the things that you're kicking ass in, in the world right now, comma, and I want to do this challenge because I think it'll be fun to challenge myself and learn new things about me. Very different from trying to fill this hole or fix something that's not good enough in you right now. So if you are wanting to self develop or self improve or self betterment, think about why is it because you're feeling like you're not enough right now and you should be more. If that's the case, then stop. Unplug yourself from the podcasts, throw away the self help books, start looking in the mirror and saying and seeing what you are great at right fucking now. I feel so passionately about this. It's already in my heart to see all these people on this endless quest to try to better themselves from this place of not feeling good enough right now if you enjoy the self help books because they give you kind of a new or different outlook and you kind of like it and it's feels light and it doesn't feel heavy, because you're coming from a place of like, I'm a badass mofo right now. And I want to learn this other skill because it seems like it might be fun, very different friends, very different energy, I say go for it. So really check in with yourself, what's going on, that makes you want to be something different. Because I think you're a badass right now. And I don't think you need to be anything different. This is going to be a whole nother episode, I could go on and on and on. Number 10 is about goals. And it kind of ties into what my last point was. But goals do not have to be for some bigger purpose. They don't have to have a deep meaning they don't have to be Earth changing and life changing. They can just be for fun. And just because it's something you want to do. Because when I teach about goals, and I love teaching about goals, what I teach about goals is it's not about the exact result. It's about what you learn about yourself on the way there. It's about all the little Gremlins that come up when you're going after something that you'll have to overcome to get to the thing. So it doesn't matter if your goal is something silly like learn how to do a crossword puzzle, or learn how to do an Irish jig, the epicness, or the seriousness of the goal is not required. So you can do something that might seem silly or frivolous, because your brain is still gonna throw up some obstacles at you that you're going to have to overcome to keep working on that goal. So you're going to still learn the skills of how to keep going even with setbacks, you're going to have to or you're going to have to learn the skills of how to deal with self doubt, you're gonna have to learn the skills of patience, and perseverance and coming back and showing up and showing up and showing up and showing up even when there doesn't look like there's a result yet. So you're going to learn all of the essential skills for success by choosing any goal doesn't matter what the effort is, doesn't matter how serious or how deep and meaningful it is, you will learn everything you need to learn about goal setting and success and striving from whatever goal you choose. So let yourself choose a goal that feels silly and fun and light and airy, and playful. It's okay, you're allowed. In fact, I encourage it. Okay, number 11 is about trying things. One of the biggest pieces of advice I have about making decisions or going after a goal is go out there and try a bunch of shit and see what works. That's it. It's that simple. Get off the internet, stop researching, get your buttons up into the real world and try something and see if you like it. If you don't, then that helps you make your decision. If you do that helps you make your decision. So if you're deciding on what your goal should be, or deciding what project to work on next, go out there, try a bunch of shit and see what works. And then if it doesn't work, you don't beat yourself up about it. You just say, oh, that didn't work, and you try something else. So it's just a process of trying different things over and over until you see what you like, and you see what works for you. Okay, number 12, you get to drive your car. And what I mean by that is when you start taking responsibility for the choices that you make and how you spend your time, what you spend your focus on how you are showing up, you will create success when you can take responsibility for it and stop saying, well, like all these things came up. And I had to do this. And I had to do that instead of just saying I chose to do this other thing than what I had planned. And so it's just planning your time, you're in charge of how you spend your time, nobody else can make you spend your time on things unless you let them. Right, you get to choose how you spend your time, you get to choose what you think about a certain certain situation, you can choose to think about it in a more helpful way if you want to. You can choose what to focus on, you can choose to make decisions, you can choose whether or not you're going to beat yourself up or if you're going to not allow that anymore. So just get in the driver's seat of your life. And take responsibility for the things that you are doing for the actions that you're taking for the ways that you're talking to yourself for the things that you're thinking about yourself, for the ways that you show up in meetings. So when you take responsibility, when you get in the driver's seat, you can create success. And number 13 I was gonna stop at a dozen but like I kind of like Baker's Dozen, kind of like doughnuts. So I'm just gonna give one more. I believe that the formula for success is as simple as this belief in yourself plus action from that belief over and over equals success. So if you believe that you can do it, and if you continue taking actions towards the Like gold from that belief that you can do it. So while you're taking the actions, you're believing that this is in some way going to help you reach that success. And if you show up and show up and show up and show up with that belief, with taking action from the belief, you will hit success, it might take you longer than you thought. But you can create the success if you just keep going. So one other thing about this is a lot of times we set a timeline for our goal. And a lot of times it takes us longer to get there than we think. So when that deadline comes up, and we're like, oh, I didn't hit the goal, we sort of deflate. But what I want to tell you is Oh, you just set the wrong timeline, you're still gonna make it happen, it just hasn't happened yet. So just extend the timeline, keep going. Because if you keep going, if you keep taking actions from belief that you can do it, you will do it. I firmly believe in that. I believe in you. So these are the 13 kind of foundations that I have in my coaching for sustainable success, when I say sustainable success, because you could grind your way through it. And you could mean talk yourself through it. But it doesn't last that long. I want you to have success that last a long time. And that feels good while you're in it. And that feels doable, and easy and light and fun and positive and you feel good about yourself. To me, that's the ultimate kind of success. And that's what I work on with my clients. So I think it's really fitting that I am recording this on February 14 Valentine's Day. Because I think one of the ultimate signs of self love is that you know who you are, and you're not afraid to say it. So these 13 pillars of my coaching feel really important to me, and this is who I am and what I'm about and how I coach. And I'm really proud to stand up here and say it because I have self love. I have self belief that this is what works for me and what works for my clients. And I've seen it over and over and over again. So be on the lookout for more to come on a lot of these topics because I feel so strongly about them that I just want to talk about them all the time. And I know that people need to hear them because I see these issues come up with my clients, like I said all the time. And this is what we work on, we go deep. So if you're interested in working with me, you might want to work with me as your one on one coach, or in one of my groups that I will be offering this year. So make sure you're on my newsletter list friends, you can do that at my Instagram at show up society and then go to the Lincoln bio and get on my newsletter so that you are informed of tips like these and upcoming workshops or group coaching things. So I hope you have enjoyed this podcast. I would love to know which one of these tips that you are most intrigued by or that you have tried and know that it works. Let me know I would love to hear your feedback on these tips. Okay, thank you so much for showing up to this episode of the show up society podcast. Now go out there and show up for yourself. friend if you liked this podcast and you want help applying it to your life so you can do more of what you want. You'll love working with me one on one for six months. I help you with strategy and mindset so you can figure out what you want. Make an action plan and I'll help you get unstuck all along the way. If you're a creative business owner, be prepared to make more sales go to show up society.com forward slash konsult to set up a consultation call to see if we're a good fit. I can't wait to help you put more of you into this world oh hey loyal podcast listener thank you for being here all the way through to the end. My message for you today is you are doing e nuff. You are doing enough