i'm having a pity party

254. just because we CAN change our thoughts and emotions doesn't mean we HAVE to. sometimes we need to sit in the sadness. 

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Transcript

Naming The Pity Party

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey friend, I am coming at you today, uh, right in the middle of my pity party. And if you are wondering why you don't hear music or laughter or dancing in the background, it's because it's a pity party. So I have had a long week. Um the world is the way the world is, uh, North America is the way North America is, Minnesota is the way Minnesota is, and on top of that, I had dental surgery, and I really don't feel good, but yet I've had tons of client meetings and uh other meetings for my work, uh uh lots of talking, lots and lots and lots of talking, and I've sort of just been pushing through the physical discomfort, uh, but I have no client calls or anything on my schedule today purposefully. And so I think that, you know, my body is now like allowing myself to like really experience the pain and discomfort that I've been sort of like uh ignoring to get through the four really busy days of work this week. Plus, our daughter, um, our daughter that was still home from college went back to school. And so the house is uh a lot more empty now that our three kids are not in it. And so uh what I've realized is every single time they go back to school or go back to, you know, where they live, I have a day or two of kind of mourning and of grief and just kind of sadness. Um, I also, yes, very, very, very much experience joy and uh happiness for them and for their lives. And I'm just so impressed with who they are as people, and I'm so happy that they are living their lives. But I can have both, right? I can have that pride and joy and also the deep sadness and grief of missing somebody that we love. Um, I also have not been sleeping well at all. I think partly because of the discomfort in my mouth and my jaw, but also just uh stress and sadness about the state of the world. Also uh hormones, you know, I am in perimenopause, and to be totally real, I have not been taking the supplements that tend to help me sleep because we went away last weekend and they were packed, and I actually don't know what bag they are in. Um we have not un well, I haven't unpacked my bags from last weekend, and it just seems too big of a burden for me to, you know, search through the house to find the the two or three bags that I brought with me to search through them for my supplements to take. So it's one of those where like I know some things that would help me and yet I'm not doing them. And yes, I am fully aware of all the tools that I could use that I have in my arsenal to help me out of this sort of funk that I'm in today. But guess what? Sometimes we are just allowed to feel funky. We are allowed to feel down in the dumps and blue and sad and morose, and I am choosing that today. Uh, I'm a strong believer in that in most situations, we get to choose how we feel about things, we get to choose our emotions, we get to choose how we think about them, and I am choosing sadness today, and I have no problem with that whatsoever. Uh, in fact, when I'm coaching runners and sometimes they will have a workout that they are not pleased with, or they will have a race that they are not pleased with, I actually tell them to go off and have a pity party, let all the sadness and disappointment be there, and then uh once they have fully felt the feeling, uh, it often dissipates much quicker than we imagine when we actually allow ourselves to fully feel it. Then we can get back to work and get back to training. I also say this with my one-on-one clients when they have some disappointing results, because as we know, all humans are going to have something disappointing happen at some time in your life. And I am a big fan of letting ourselves feel the feelings. Let it be there. It will pass, it will pass, but ignoring it is not going to help it. Ignoring it is actually probably going to prolong it. So I am sitting deep in my dark, dirty feeling, not dirty, but like just depressing feelings today. Um, I am on the couch with my smelly dogs, and notice how uh notice how everything just isn't as shiny when you're in the dumps. I call it wearing your shit glasses instead of rose-tinted glasses. When you have on your shit glasses, everything just seems a little tainted and a little less bright and shiny. I have those on today and I'm choosing to wear them the entire day. Um, but I am here, I'm eating chocolate. I have a pillow and a blanket and my smelly dog. I am actually watching Cruella with Emma Stone. I watched it years ago when it came out, and I just remember absolutely loving the fashion in it. So I am watching that today, and yeah, eating chocolate, eating some Advil, Tylenol, antibiotics, water. And uh yeah, here I shall sit for probably most of the day. So if you needed permission to have a pity party, have one. I would invite you to mine, but I don't want any people to come over because I want to be by myself at my pity party. But you can have one where you are, I'll have mine here, and then we'll circle back uh when all the the pity and you know moroseness have passed through us, and we will meet again, friend. All right, love you.