the goal isn't the goal

255. lorelai gilmore (gilmore girls) proves my point about the goal being more about the becoming than the action steps. 

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Transcript

A Surprising Validation

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Hey friend. So there are times when I am watching a show or reading a book or hearing conversation in some way. And someone will say something, and I'm like, yes, exactly. This is what I tell my clients all the time. And for some reason, it feels so validating to me to hear it out in the world. Um, but I was watching Gilmore Girls a couple days ago. Uh the like kind of re uh what what do you call it? Like the revamp of it that happened a couple years ago when they're like all grown up. And Lorelai goes on this walk, like the the Cheryl Striad Wild walk. And um, she goes to it because she wants to have this deep, meaningful insight, and things like happen, and she doesn't actually go on the walk, but she does kind of walk behind this gas station, and there's this beautiful scenic view, and she has the epiphany that she had been hoping for. And so she came back and she talked to Luke and she was like, I went on this walk because I wanted to have an epiphany and I wanted to have all this, you know, revelation and all this like clarity, and I didn't do the walk, but I got the clarity and that's what I wanted anyway. And I was like, Yes, queen, this is what I'm talking about with goals. It's not about the actual goal, it's about who you want to become in search of it. So for Lorelai, it wasn't about doing the actual walk through the trees and the trails and camping. She was doing the walk because she thought that was the thing that was going to get her to this epiphany or the revelation. So it wasn't about the walk, it was about the insight that she was going to gain from it. So if you were like, you know, how how was that goal of doing the walk going? Well, the she didn't do the walk, right? She walked behind a gas station and looked around at some trees. So, but like I said, it wasn't about the goal itself. It wasn't about the walk. It was about who she became and what she learned from it. So she got what she wanted, even though she didn't do the exact like motions of it, right? She got that epiphany, that revelation, that clarity, even though she didn't go on a hike. She just walked around behind a gas station and looked at some trees, right? So that's what I tell my clients all the time is it's less about the exact result or the exact process. The it's not just about the actions, it's about who you're becoming and what you're learning and what you're discovering about yourself. That's the reason that we actually have goals. And it's not about that exact, precise uh method or movement of your body or action. It's about who you are becoming and what you're learning and what you're overcoming, right? So just something to keep in mind. The goal isn't just about the goal, the goal is there to help you have something to look forward to or reach for in the process of becoming. Okay. So keep being out there, keep becoming, and knowing that's what it's all about. Love ya.