give people a chance to love you and your work

271. people can't love you if you don't give them a chance to, right? so find a safe, tiny way to put yourself out there in search of companionship, love, or more visibility for your work. 

if you loved what i talked about in this episode, you're going to love working with me.

i can help you feel better and get more done when you work with me 1:1. i'll help you figure out a meaningful goal, we'll create an action plan and i'll help you get unstuck all along the way. you don't have to go it alone, and you don't have to burn yourself out!

 
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Transcript

Moonlit Setup At The Beach

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey friend, I am recording another episode on my last evening here at the Oregon coast on my solo beach trip. Uh, it is a full moon, gorgeous, so low in the sky, so bright. The sky has a beautiful pink tinge to it. The tide is so far out, so there is so much wet beach that just reflects the sky. Oh my gosh, it is so beautiful. Um, and I'm inspired to give you this message today. So I have and have had several many, many clients actually, who uh I'm trying to think how to say this. They want to put themselves out into the world, whether it's for making new friendships, or sometimes for making romantic relationships, or sometimes sharing their work with the world, whether that be art or writing or products or whatever it is. And a lot of these people come to me very scared to put themselves out there because they fear rejection. We all fear rejection, it doesn't feel good. Nobody wants to be rejected, right? So, and some people are able to sort of get over that and put themselves out there anyway, and some people have a very hard time. And it is a survival technique. Your brain doesn't want you to be in pain, it doesn't want you to have humiliation or rejection, so it can shut you down a lot of times. So that's something I work with my clients on a lot. And I want to just tell you if you are a person who is scared to put yourself out there, scared to put yourself out there to make friends or romance or growing your business or giving your opinion. I want to just offer you this. What would happen if you give people a chance to love you? Let them love you. I think you might be surprised at how many people love what you have to offer. They love your humanity and your flaws and your imperfections and your quirks and your silliness and your humor and your looks and your kindness and your heart. I think you're gonna be surprised at how many people love your work, all the creativity that you put into the world and your writing or your art or whatever it is, your music, whatever it is. I think that if you give people a chance to love you, you are going to be very pleasantly and warmly surprised at how many people take you up on that offer. But by you not putting yourself out there, they're missing the opportunity to love you. We, the world, are missing the opportunity to love you and to love your work. Give us a chance. Have faith in us that we are going to come back at you with love and connection and support. Okay, I know it can feel scary. There are people out there who can help you be less scared to put yourself out there. I am one of them if you want help, but find some way to do it in a tiny, tiny, safe spot. So maybe that's finding somebody that is really supportive of you, but maybe they just don't know about your work, or they don't know about your writing, or they don't know about your quest to deepen a friendship, right? So maybe that's the person they've always been nice to you, they've seemed like they're supportive. Maybe that's the safe person to go to where you're probably gonna get a good result and just take one tiny little step into the world where you're offering to let people love you. And your brain will see, like, oh, that was safe. I didn't die, I'm still okay. Somebody does indeed love me, and then do it again, and then do it again and then do it again. Yes, there are going to also be people that don't love you. We're not worried about them. That's not what we're here for. We're not worried about them. There are always going to be some people. There are people in the world who don't love chocolate, there are people in the world who don't love doctors and people that help. There are people in the world who don't love books. I mean, what even is going on, right? So no matter how good you are, there are going to be some people that don't love you. We're not focusing on them. We're focusing on you sharing your gifts, your beauty, inner and outer, with the world. We are focusing on the people who welcome that and want to love that in return. Okay. So give us your goods. Let us love you. Okay, friend, love you so much.