#1666 - Social Media Is Taking Us Off The Rails

In today’s episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros discuss how social media can affect how we see ourselves and feel. The discussion starts with a story about a fitness star who lost popularity because of photo editing. This story shows the bigger problem of constantly comparing ourselves to others on social media and chasing a perfect image that doesn’t exist. Social media can be a tool for connection and expression. It is vital to remain vigilant about its impact on our mental health and self-image.

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Show notes:
(2:27) Era of curated perfection
(4:47) A very vulnerable share
(6:17) Historical parallels
(8:52) Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/f1FWAQA
(10:10) Dangers of social media
(11:44) It's a weird time
(13:04) Significance and self-worth
(17:27) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin 0:00

Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode. Episode number 1,665, the Difference Between Rules and Boundaries Probably left with more questions than answers, but those are often my favorite episodes. Today, for episode number 1,666, social media is taking us off the rails. Nice, it is nice, but it's not nice.

Alan 0:32

It's a good title.

Kevin 0:32

Yeah, it's a great title, right, I appreciate that very much.

Alan 0:35

Yeah, thank you so much.

Kevin 0:36

There is a gentleman I follow on Instagram and I think it's Goob. His name's like Goob, underscore U2 or something like that. He's a fitness guy who has a brand and I think he's like a power lifter Very strong. One of the things he started doing Strong to semi-strong, no, very strong. Here comes Ace. Ace might come in and make an appearance. One of the things he does on his profile is he calls out people who are BSing, and one of the most common examples of that is somebody who is a fitness coach, who sells fitness coaching, that photoshops their pictures Nice. And there was an example yesterday where he so he's like a. He's a lawyer, like he went to law school. He's an interesting character, he went to law school, but he's also like a really high level photographer, I think. So he understands it's very easy for him to look at something and say something's wonky with that. I saw one yesterday.

Alan 1:40

You know how you can like invert the photo to where it looks like the top is bigger or the bottom is bigger. So a lot of male fitness models will make it so that the top is bigger and females will tend to make it so the bottom is bigger, so their butt looks bigger. I saw one yesterday. I was like no way.

Kevin 1:58

There's no way. I know that person. I saw that person. You can do it with videos. Now, too, you can edit. There are filters that you can put on videos to make your abs look better, your butt look better, whatever everything look better. It's really not good for our psyche. It's a very Well. So here this was. It was a nice little arc, the way it played out. It usually doesn't play out this way. He called someone out on his page because this person is selling programs to help you get in shape and they're photoshopping. That's just not right. There's a moral and ethical dilemma when it comes to that.

Alan 2:36

Integrity is important yeah that's not cool.

Kevin 2:38

I'm not cool with that. Dishonesty is no dice. We used to talk about this all the time when I was bodybuilding. I would never filter pictures. I wouldn't. I wouldn't do anything, I don't. I will use the best one, yes, but I would never doctor it anyway. I just I don't want to do that, Can't do that.

Alan 2:53

My photo. My photographers would ask me when I did. I did 41 photo shoots back when I was fitness modeling and my photographers would ask like do you want me to? And I said no.

Kevin 3:03

Yeah, give me the best you've got. Make me look like Arnold Schwarzenegger, if you can.

Alan 3:07

They would ask like do you want me to doctor this Doctor?

Kevin 3:10

it up.

Alan 3:10

No, no, please no, but don't choose that one though.

Kevin 3:14

Yeah, yeah, choose the best one.

Alan 3:17

Yeah, choose the best one, but don't doctor it, but I't want it to be. You see me in person and be like what the hell? Yeah, yeah, yeah, who's that guy? Who's that guy?

Kevin 3:26

So he shared the video of this person and the person that he shared the video of saw it and they did a repost and said honestly, I want to take full responsibility. This is true, I have edited my pictures and my videos and I want to apologize. And they said no excuse. I'm going through my own little version of body dysmorphia and I'm struggling in the fitness industry. It's a challenging place to be and it was a very vulnerable share for that person. But imagine and this is really the depth of it this person is in phenomenal shape Phenomenal shape and she's struggling so bad with comparing to other people who are also in phenomenal shape but probably doing the same thing that she's doing.

Alan 4:20

Yeah.

Kevin 4:21

Because he's literally. This guy has literally showed pictures of people that are on stage, bodybuilders who won their show, and they doctored the picture of them on stage with the trophy. You won the show. You don't have to, you don't have to talk, you won the show. You literally won it.

Alan 4:38

You beat everyone there.

Kevin 4:40

And now you're going to change your picture when you put it on social media. So social media is taking us off the rails. The reason I wanted to do this episode is because I don't know if we're really understanding how impactful social media is.

Alan 4:52

Well, I used the analogy with you earlier. Scary analogy, but at the end of the day I just want to be me Back in the day. You ever watch really old movies or movies that are period pieces that take place way back. What was the one I watched recently? There was one.

Kevin 5:09

I got one for you that I think you'd like. It's called Masters of Air. It's all about the Bombers. Yeah, it's all about the bombers in World War II. The guy who played Elvis is in it. I don't remember his name. It's like pretty legit. Who's the director? I think Steven Spielberg had something to do with it. Oh, Tom Hanks had something to do with it. I'll look it up.

Alan 5:36

Cool, yeah, big fan of period pieces. I adore period pieces because, especially historically accurate ones, especially ones that are based on a true story or inspired by a true story, because I love, I love history. I'm like a sneaky history buff. I like to see how far we've come, so, anyways, my point of that was, though is what? What was my point of that? What were you saying right before that? I was talking about social media. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, you and I before this episode earlier today, take it easy.

Kevin 6:11

Not bad.

Alan 6:12

Earlier today you and I were talking about I mentioned cigarettes. When you see an old movie, everyone's smoking cigarettes. Yeah yeah, so like in the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, everyone was smoking. There used to be smoking sections. You could smoke on planes. That blows my mind. You could smoke on airplanes.

Kevin 6:31

Man, imagine the person sitting next to you. I have two cats now they're just ripping a cig. It's like I'd prefer not to be seated next to you. It's wild.

Alan 6:40

I remember when I was a kid, my mom and stepfather would go into the smoking section.

Alan 6:45

They couldn't stand that there was a smoking section and they hated that because they smoked. Anyways, things have changed. Two things there. One I love to see how far things have come. I think that's one of the coolest things ever. That's why I like history, because I like the future and I like to see where the future's headed. Based on the past, but side tangent. The real reason I mentioned that is because at the beginning of cigarettes, dude, in the first decade, that cigarettes were a thing I don't think anyone really knew how dangerous.

Alan 7:12

They were because you don't start seeing the side effects of smoking until 20, 30, 40, 50 years later. Yeah, just like uh. Same thing with again trigger warning breast implants apparently at the beginning there was, you couldn't see the side effects, but then stuff started happening later on yeah, they were like leaking, they leak out.

Alan 7:31

Yeah, they can leak out okay so my point of all that not to talk about breast implants and cigarettes. My point of that is to talk about social media. We don't fully understand the debt, the long-term detriments on our psyche yet because it's brand new yeah yeah, it's, it's just like okay, cigarettes cause lung cancer and, statistically speaking, that's a scientific fact.

Alan 7:51

At this point, what is social media cause, especially when it's amplifying with editing? And and I told kevin this I said I think a lot of us are falling victim to, and I, I coach some younger people and some of their friends. Um, they talk about their friends who who are really addicted to social, to. And I, I coach some younger people and some of their friends. Um, they talk about their friends who who are really addicted to social media. And then I also had a client, too, who had, uh, many kids and he said they never watch tv, they only watch youtube, and some of these youtubes that they're watching are like, really dopamine yeah just quick hit, quick fix stuff.

Alan 8:24

And so not only is adhd becoming more, more and more, and we're all becoming more distractible there's a great book called Indistractable that talks about the science and the neuroscience underneath this but ultimately what I'm saying is social media is proliferating the ability to edit photos, videos, facetune, all this stuff.

Alan 8:46

Most people are focused more on their digital world than they are on their real world, and for the NLU listeners, kevin myself, we have to be very, very careful not to focus more on our digital world than on our real world. My relationship with Emilia needs to be better in real life than I portray on social media, and I know in the past there was a relationship that I was in that I was portraying as in love, and maybe in those moments, in those photos, we were in love and I think we were to some extent, but I was definitely. I got to a point where our relationship was so not good that I felt guilt and shame around having photos of us looking so in love, because I knew that it wasn't as good as I was portraying, and so I had a lot of shame around that, and so I think that we're all getting stuck in shame when we when we try to make our digital life look better than our real life, and I think that it's detrimental because everyone's doing that, whether it's conscious or not.

Kevin 9:48

Well, we're about to cross a very unique threshold, where people are starting to use cartoonish AI versions of themselves for profile pictures. We're crossing a very this is becoming a very dangerous thing because if what happens? If you start using an AI version of yourself as a profile picture, are you going to be more or less likely to go out into public? Are you going to be more?

Kevin 10:16

or less likely to show your face. It's just a very dangerous thing that I can understand. I'm sure I could get a really nice AI version of me that looks way better than I do in real life. But what is that going to do for me in real life? That's a very, very dangerous thing and I'm not you, do you? I'm not going to tell you what to do out there, but just understand, as someone who has been in very, very, very, very good shape, it's hard to look at that and say that's not what I look like anymore. Oh, it's so bad. Now, I could do it if I was willing to put in the effort, which I'm not. I'm definitely not willing to put in that effort, but imagine if the effort was just hit a button. I don't know. That's an easy way to get I don't want to say addicted, but that's an easy way to get very caught up in something and lose control of it very quickly.

Alan 11:09

So it's weird. It's a weird time to be alive. Well, I have one more quick analogy. I have one client who used to be super into WoW World of Warcraft and I used to be into Diablo 2. And some people listening will remember that game and it's a massive multiplayer online game where you have a character and you level up. So next level university, you start out at level one and then you go out on quests and you kill monsters and then you get character traits, you get, you get skills, you get dexterity, vitality, strength. You can pick a barbarian on amazon, you can pick all the different kinds. I think in world of warcraft it's like elf or whatever. I don't. I don't actually know, I neverW.

Alan 11:46

I would be an elf, for sure, Nice so. But I remember back in Diablo 2 days, way, way back when I was a kid. I got so addicted to this game and I was one of the best.

Alan 12:00

I was one of the best in the world. I was addicted to the game and I played every single day, and me and my buddy Nick, we would sleep over each other's houses and we would play and we'd pull all-nighters and we'd do what's called cow runs. Doesn't matter, but the point of this is that we were more awesome in the game than in real life. We spent more time and effort getting good in a virtual world than we did in our real world and fortunately I was still doing well in school. But what about the kids that are working harder on their character in a video game than they are in their own school? Their own grades, their own future, their own? Because in self-improvement you can work on getting smarter, you can work on working harder, you can work on self-discipline and self-concept and self-esteem and self-worth. What's going to happen to your self-worth when all of your significance comes from a virtual world? And I've been there.

Alan 12:59

I remember being one of the top Halo players in the world. I remember being one of the top at StarCraft 2v2. I remember being one of the top at Diablo 2. And I remember in high school I felt insignificant and I felt like crap about myself because I looked like crap and I was prepubescent and I wasn't an athlete or anything like that. I was nerdy and smart but that was it and I was like this really good and I remember real quick I had these kids who loved Halo and they wanted me on their team. Quick, I had these kids who loved Halo and they wanted me on their team and I had so much significance from that because they were the older class, upperclassmen, and they were so grateful that I was on their team and it was like this virtual world of anyone who loved Halo thought I was you know a god for lack of better phrasing and anyone who didn't like Halo thought I was just some insignificant little kid.

Alan 13:46

And you can't when you tie your significance and your self-worth to something that is not real, it's very dangerous. I'd much rather you work on your real life, your real relationship, your real body, your real physique, your real mind, and I just think it's dangerous and I'm saying that I've also been just as guilty of it, so I'm just as guilty of it. I just know that after 26, I stopped doing that, I stopped putting more focus on my digital world than my real world and I kind of made that decision during that life or death situation, and I just decided I want my real life to be better than anything I portray and I just think that's it's been super fulfilling, it's been way better. My life is so much more fulfilling than it used to be.

Kevin 14:28

Two things real quick. Choose your escape wisely. I think that's a good lesson for me and anyone from this episode, and I'm going to go do a cow run right after this, Right after we get off this mic. I'm going to head on down to wherever I'm supposed to go and I'm going to do a cow run.

Alan 14:41

Nice. For anyone who's ever played the game moo moo Mo, they'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

Kevin 14:47

I can't imagine many people listening have played the game. I could be wrong, I don't know.

Alan 14:52

I've never heard of it, some people will recognize Diablo 2.

Kevin 14:55

If anybody wants to.

Alan 14:55

Diablo 2 was one of the most famous games in history. I'm just saying, was it really? Oh yeah, man, I've never heard of it Diablo.

Kevin 15:03

No man Call son Call of Duty. Grand Theft Auto Dude Diablo.

Alan 15:11

Grand Theft Auto.

Kevin 15:11

Blizzard, blizzard, I know, blizzard, the people. All right, you got to go Hit me up at Never Quit Kid. We'll do a cow run together. Cow run, chicken run, whatever it is. If you are interested in group coaching link will be in the show notes promo code NLULISTENER. We'll get you 30% off tomorrow for episode number 1,667. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. I have an investment for you. If you give me one of your dollars, I will give you $10 million. Just one of your dollars, and you'll get $10 million back.

Alan 15:38

Are you?

Kevin 15:38

in or are you out? Probably seems too good to be true. That's because it is as always we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU.