#1673 - Here’s Why Getting Credit From Other People Matters So Much

When we delve into creativity and personal development, we often focus on the individual’s journey toward self-improvement. Yet, we must recognize the transformative power of external validation and recognition. In this episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros shed light on this potent source of empowerment, revealing how it can ignite our creative confidence and unveil our innate talents, inspiring and motivating us.

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Show notes:
(1:41) Dangerous yet helpful
(4:05) The power of praise
(6:57) You want to be the best
(10:08) At NLU, we want you to win! So, we’re giving tools and re

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode, episode number 1,672. Sometimes you do want to be a big fish in a small pond. Today, for episode number 1,673,. Here's why getting credit from other people matters so much. 673. Here's why getting credit from other people matters so much. So, obviously, if you're only getting your significance from other people talking you up, that's a dangerous game, but it can help our awareness. So just a quick example from me. I'll never forget Alan and I lived in Florida for a month with one of our mentors and during that time we ended up meeting Eddie Pinero in person for the first time, I believe, and he actually came up to where we were staying and we wrote and recorded a song together and I felt like I was pretty good at writing. You remember any of the verses? Oh my.

Speaker 2 1:03

God, I don't even know where I'm going.

Speaker 1 1:05

I'm so focused on the quotient, I'm so focused on devotion. I've been close to crossing oceans for the effing vibe you give. I'm addicted to the potion. I don't think I can continue. I'm sick. It's too atrocious, I don't. I mean, I don't know what the hell to do get destroyed. Every time that I get close to you to sleep, I wrestle with this restlessness. I never rest in peace.

Speaker 2 1:23

Yeah, that's a little bit of it. Hell of a memory on that Nice work. You remember? You have an Instagram video of this, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 1:30

Can we link?

Speaker 2 1:30

that in the show notes I can try For the listeners.

Speaker 1 1:34

Yeah, I can try. I can try to find it Just awesome. Oh, you gotta write it down. It's called Polarity, is what we named it. Okay, so at the time I had done a little bit of writing and a little bit of recording Nothing crazy, Like I hadn't done any full songs or anything too crazy and it was one of my goals because we interviewed Eddie for episode 65, I think it was one of my goals to write a song with him. It was one of the things I wanted to do. I was like how cool would that be To write a song with Eddie? And we ended up doing it. Didn't you write that down in your like?

Speaker 2 2:06

vision, I think so Notebook yeah.

Speaker 1 2:08

And it became a thing and I remember during it I was like all right, cool, I'm done. And he's like you're, what do you mean you're done? And I was like I got them, I got my bars done, all of them, and he's like you're done already.

Speaker 2 2:23

And I said, yeah, I'm good to go your bar Bars, that's what they're called bars.

Speaker 1 2:27

A verse is a bar, cool, you know, and like 16 bars. It depends on the flow of the music and the beat. I only know bar.

Speaker 2 2:42

Not anymore.

Speaker 1 2:43

Yeah, let me finish my damn story, yeah, okay. So he said you're done already and I said, yeah, yeah, I'm done. I write fast, it doesn't take me long. I can write a song in like an hour. If you give me an hour and you give me a good beat and I'm on a time, I can record it in an hour or two. He's like dude, you're like really fast at this and I was like thanks, man, I appreciate that. And then when we recorded I could tell it was like I could tell he was impressed and I'm sure I think he gave me some compliments Like damn man, that was like really good and I felt like I was decent but getting. I felt like I was decent but getting credit from someone else who is a musician and has experience writing songs. And one of my favorite things Eddie has on his channel is it's called the Rabbit Hole. It's like a rap he does. It's super motivational.

Speaker 1 3:43

I used to listen to it in the gym all the time. Yeah, it's a jam, it's a gym. And the fact that the guy who wrote that and recorded that and produced that and put that up said I was good was one of those breakthroughs for me of oh, okay, I think I'm pretty good, but he thinks I'm good too. That must mean something. And it might just be an awareness thing of oh, I'm better at this than I thought. Or all the time, effort, energy and focus I put into this, somebody else is recognizing because maybe to you it's just normal, Maybe you're a really good parent who's just used to being a really good parent, but when you're around someone who doesn't have kids, they say, wow, you're a really good parent. And that strikes you and it hits you and it sits with you because you haven't said that to yourself in a long period of time. That's kind of what we're talking about today, but you had a really good story for this, so I'm going to kick it to you.

Speaker 2 4:29

Yeah, so I had one of my clients. There's actually two stories that I think are really powerful here. One is one of my clients. She runs a pet store and Emilia and I Tucker Tilly Tao. We have two cats and a dog, as I've mentioned 8 000 times on this podcast, and we want to help them live the longest, happiest, most healthy life possible, and so we've looked up the average life expectancy of the different breeds and all that stuff. And I opened with the question uh, to one of my clients. So one of my clients runs a pet food store and she helps people all the time. Not only has she been raising pets her entire life, but she helps her customers with nutrition, exercise and vet care stuff, all things. Cats and dogs. She's like I don't know birds at all, I don't know, but cats and dogs are my jam, and so we booked a call and Emilia knows her too and we booked the call.

Speaker 2 5:17

It was a half hour and we show up with our notebooks. I think I told this story a few episodes last week and she episodes last week, and she told us everything that matters and broke down Okay, if you want to have the longest, healthiest life for your cats and your dogs. What are the three things that matters? The categories were nutrition, number one. Number two is exercise and number three was vet care. And so then we broke those down and blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2 5:41

The cool thing is I got a message from her after. She said holy crap, that was so eye opening for me and I'm like well, what do you mean? She said well, I called a bunch of places and I did some research in the Boston area to try to figure out the best places to get the healthiest food for your pets, and these pet food store owners didn't know anything that I know. It's like ah, so you know more than you think you know, but you've never the thing that I'm just gonna be. It pisses me off, to be honest, not not about this client, but it bothers me that this isn't a direct sport.

Speaker 2 6:15

I used to love direct competition. What in video games? You can tell who's the best because you you go head to head. I remember back in the halo two days or the diablo two days or or starcraft 2. I used to play video games competitively, call of duty. You could tell who was the best because it was a head-to-head competition With podcasting and business and branding and social media and self-improvement and intimate relationships and health, wealth, life and love.

Speaker 2 6:44

It's very hard to know who's better at what. That's why a lot of people get hoodwinked. You can jump on a mic, have a nice backdrop and say, hey, I know a lot about business, and if you want to start a business, you can do X, y, z. So this client of mine didn't know how much she knows because no one goes around saying, hey, you know a ton about this. And so it took her.

Speaker 2 7:05

Getting in the ring, kev, you're doing a jujitsu competition. When you get in that ring, kev, you're doing a jujitsu competition. When you get in that ring, you're going to realize, holy crap, I'm better than I thought, or you're going to get stomped yeah, one of the two. And so when she got in the ring aka me and Emilia teaching us how to help our pets have the healthiest life possible she's like holy crap. And then she went and compared to other pet store owners. I know comparison is bad a lot of the time when you're comparing your real life to someone else's fake social media life. That is not what we are talking about here today. What we're talking about here today is a head-to-head. When you do a song with Eddie. There was a moment and I'm friends with Eddie Eddie listens to our show, so, eddie, if you're listening, please don't villainize me for this, but there was a moment where I saw insecurity in him. He was like holy crap. Now. He overcame it quick and he did a great job.

Speaker 2 7:55

So, eddie, he did crush it, yeah, but but he did crush it, but there was definitely a moment of he thought he was gonna stop you for lack of better phrasing. Now you're a partner, so it's not direct head-to-head, it's not like you're fighting or competing, but when you're on a track with somebody, you don't want to be the worst, you want to be the best. You want to be the best. Everyone does so with podcasting, speaking, training, coaching. It's so hard for me because it's so hard to know who's the best. It's really challenging. We don't get on stage with other podcasters. I wish we did. I think that would be better. I wish we could get on stage and do a podcast competition where they're asked questions and the audience votes on who had the most valuable answers. In this case, who was the funniest? Kevin would win for sure. Maybe I think you would, and hopefully I would win for valuable answers I would win if it was against you.

Speaker 1 8:38

I don't know if there was somebody else, I don't know what would happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah fair.

Speaker 2 8:42

Who would win in long-term strategic thinking?

Speaker 2 8:45

That Kevin guy and turning off the audience so they're snoring, right? Maybe I got the comedy thing going. Here's my point. At the end of the day, you are probably better or worse than you think in everything. Kevin said this to me recently. He said you're better at writing than you think you are Because I asked for feedback. Where am I off? Where am I delusional? You can be delusional in two ways. You can be delusional as in you're actually better than you think. A lot of our community falls in that category. Or you can be delusional, thinking you're great when in reality you're not. You're just around a bunch of people or don't measure it ever. And so the last story here go quick. And to circle back on that first story, my client is now like should I start a podcast?

Speaker 1 9:28

Yes and talk about?

Speaker 2 9:29

yes, 100% Exactly. And then, speaking of starting a podcast, I had another client once, awesome Rockstar, one of those people that just is good at everything.

Speaker 2 9:41

She's just one of those where she doesn't even know it, though it's like hilarious. She doesn't have to work that hard. And if you're listening, by the way, you know who you are. Please don't be offended. You don't have to work that hard. I still think you should, uh. But you just win in everything you're. You're beautiful, you're tall, you're, you're athletic. You get opportunities. Everyone likes you. You're just a bright light in everyone's life. And on top of that, you hit rock bottom. And now you have the work ethic of someone who's an underdog but actually is someone who's naturally gifted at pretty much everything. That's my truth. Awesome. Now, of course, she gets villainized for that blah, blah. Awesome.

Speaker 2 10:18

She ends up giving us a testimonial, and I won't I'll keep this anonymous, but I remember I asked her. I said how many takes? Did that? Did that take? Because it was a minute and a half and it was very well said. And if you've never spoken for a minute and a half into a microphone or into your phone, being articulate without um, without you know, without, like, I'm still saying filler words. I studied communication for 15 years. I've been doing 1,700 episodes, and not including other episodes coaching, monthly meetups, book club and I still am not great. She, you would think she's been speaking for at least 10 years. And I said how many takes? I was thinking five, 10. She said what do you mean? I'm like how many takes did that take you? She's just one. I was like so let me get this straight. You put your phone up and that's what came out. That was magic. And that's what came out. That was magic.

Speaker 2 11:11

I wish every testimonial was like that Holy crap. Now truth be told again. Please don't villainize me, audience for this. I've had people come to me and say I think I should start a podcast. And my truth you probably shouldn't. Some people really shouldn't. You just don't have it when it comes to that, and maybe give it a shot. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't have it when it comes to that and maybe give it a shot. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think I am this person. You need a podcast. You're going to crush. You're going to crush. You're a natural. Now, Kev, you're a natural rapper. If you had any self-belief whatsoever when you were a kid, you probably would have been great, and you already know that to be true, Just like I was a natural with math and science. We all have gifts and we all owe it to the world to use those gifts to help other people. But you might not know you have a gift because no one goes around saying hey, by the way, you're unbelievable at XYZ and I wish we lived in that world.

Speaker 1 12:02

Well, that's the hardest thing is sometimes. That's why to me it's like an awareness you do something, and you do something, and you do something, and then somebody gives you awareness that you've never had before and you actually can trust the awareness. That's all, because I might have?

Speaker 2 12:19

How do you know?

Speaker 1 12:20

you can trust the awareness Because they have experience in the thing that you are getting feedback in Right.

Speaker 2 12:26

So you wouldn't have taken like if I said, kev, you're really good at this, that wouldn't have been as valuable, because I don't rap.

Speaker 1 12:32

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because what experience. I mean maybe you like the way I do it, but it doesn't mean I'm good at it. There's a difference. I used to rap with a buddy, Wally, and Wally was like a pretty serious rapper in college and he used to say the same thing. He's like dude, I don't know how you get it done so fast and there were just things that I could do, that he couldn't Just naturally Just certain syllables and stuff, and it's like I don't know, man, I just sit down and it happens. I don't know how to explain it.

Speaker 2 13:06

Do you feel like in life you're usually on the other end of that equation.

Speaker 1 13:08

No, because I a lot of the other times it's not like that. Like I feel like you're a prodigy at everything you know, like I'm good at I would say I'm better at jiu-jitsu than I should be Like I'm pretty good. Now, again, I'm getting smashed regularly by people who are really good, but if you put me against someone who has the same amount of training as me, I usually do pretty well, okay, just intuitively. There's certain things that I know. And again, if there's somebody who I've grappled with, who's ahead of me listening, they're probably like you need to take it easy, brother. I don't mean it like that. Like I'm not a prodigy, I'm not world-class, I'm not beating people that have been training for more years than I. No, no, no. But you know how. There's certain things that it just makes sense. It's like, oh, if I move my body this way, I get out. I'll do that. There's just certain things. Well, baseball came naturally right Baseball.

Speaker 1 14:12

yeah, I was like I'll do a front flip over the catcher and I'll be safe. I can do that for sure. Of course I can do that.

Speaker 2 14:18

Yeah.

Speaker 1 14:19

Or I'll just steal second and then I'll steal third because I can do that there's. But until somebody probably said like that's why making the all-star team was a big deal for me. It's like, oh, I'm good enough to make the all-star team, like I feel good, I feel like I'm a good player, but other people, other people, qualified me to get there. Sometimes there's something in rap called cosigning, like somebody cosigns you, basically saying like Alan's a great business coach, you should work with him.

Speaker 2 14:47

It's like a referral kind of. But one of the reasons is somebody and thank you, you're very welcome.

Speaker 1 14:54

Somebody believes in you enough to put their reputation on the line for you. Yeah, that's all it is.

Speaker 2 14:59

That's why you have references when you apply to a job. Yeah, I did that recently with you, it's dangerous, though, because what if they're trying to tear you down? What do you mean? It's dangerous to take other people's opinions, because some people will tell you you're worse than you are.

Speaker 1 15:15

Yeah, I don't know, I don't know the answer to that. You, you're worse than you are. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 15:20

I don't know the answer to that. You have to trust. No one came up to me and said you're an unbelievable podcaster. But I will say this and please again, don't villainize me for this. And if you do, you do. But we go on a lot of other shows Between the two of us. We've gone on over a thousand and there's very have put in the reps to where they are as articulate and maybe articulate isn't their goal, right but I've gotten a lot of compliments on going on other shows of like whoa. One person was like you are a world-class speaker and it's like thank you so much, but it's not like you get that often you know, and it's from people who do the same thing as you.

Speaker 2 15:58

Yeah exactly.

Speaker 1 15:58

Game recognizes game. When I say that, all I mean is I don't know how good of a parent you are if I'm not a parent. Yeah, that's true, I just couldn't. I could imagine what it's like. I said this to somebody on the team the other day I could only imagine what it's like to be a parent. If I was a parent, I would probably be able to recognize parenting skills more, just like I know my relationship's really good because I've seen other people's relationships.

Speaker 2 16:23

That's all that's all it is, and you've been in other ones.

Speaker 1 16:25

Yeah, I've been in other ones, it's all relative.

Speaker 2 16:27

Last thing, I know we got to jump Yep. Remember when we had the team. This is way back, way back in the hyperconscious days.

Speaker 1 16:41

Team members join in on a live.

Speaker 2 16:42

We used to do a live mastermind, I think is what it was called every single week and we we interviewed for 10 minutes each four team members. I remember after that there was a little bit more credibility given our way and and I was on a podcast earlier today and he was like nearly 1700 episodes. Huh, holy crap. And I I laughed. I said it's so funny because when you say 1700 episodes to someone who's not a podcaster and doesn't know the industry, they literally think nothing of it, like okay, nice, but when you say it to a podcaster, they go what?

Speaker 2 17:15

yeah yeah, because and I I always say too it's not like they're two minute episodes, this isn't like micro content, these are fully. And one of the podcasters today I'm so grateful his name was Scott. He said you guys, your YouTube channel is unbelievable, like the production value, holy crap. And I'm sitting there going. Is that true? Or are you just way behind us? And the truth is both is true. Right, he's behind us and yeah, we've come up. It's good, but it's not. I don't know. I don't usually think that way To me. I just want to get better. So I don't really think we're that great almost ever, but it is nice to know every now and then that it's a duality. You have to think that you have to figure out where you're actually at, but then you can't rest on that ever like ever. You can never rest on that.

Speaker 1 18:05

Well, because the next time you go out and do that thing with someone else they might be better, and it might that you might not get the same thing it might be ever stop climbing yeah. Yeah, it might be strong work on that, kev, but like your verse on that just wasn't that great, we're not going to be able to use it. Oh, what oh?

Speaker 2 18:23

no, I thought I was the man.

Speaker 1 18:24

I thought I was the man.

Speaker 2 18:25

All right, we got to go.

Speaker 1 18:27

If you are still interested in group coaching starting tomorrow, if you're listening to this on Monday, we might have a couple spots left. Let me know. Reach out to myself and or Alan Alan at NextLevelUniversecom, kevin at NextLevelUniversecom, or go to the website. Discount code is NLUListener for 30% off. Tomorrow for episode number 1674 an updated check-in for all of your relationships. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Speaker 2 19:02

Give credit where it's due Next Level Nation.