Next Level University

#1360 - Don’t Trade In Your Future For Your Present

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Do you ever feel like you're winning in the present but trading in your future? In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros discuss the importance of long-term thinking and how it can help you achieve true success in life. They share personal experiences and strategies and talk about the difficulties of transitioning from short-term to long-term thinking and why it's crucial to prioritize our future over our present. They share a powerful story about the importance of humility in growth and how tying self-esteem to personal progress can lead to a more fulfilling life.

Links mentioned:
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700 
Group Coaching - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/group-coaching/ 

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Show notes:
[4:42] Feeling like you’re winning doesn't always mean that you are
[9:36] Feeling that today matters more than anything
[13:54] Nathan expresses his appreciation for the invaluable coaching services he received from Alan
[14:28] Growth needs to be the goal
[18:04] Where ego comes in
[22:30] The price of inconsistency
[24:50] What you do for the next year is more important
[26:38] Outro


Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Speaker 1:

It's such a challenge, though, because if you don't have and this is me talking to me, about me if you don't have an understanding of a year from today, you really only look at the snapshot of today.

Speaker 2:

What I do want you to know is that your ego, your perception of self, what you think you are, might be holding you back from taking the step back that you need to take 10 steps forward in your future.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to Next Level University. I am your host, Kevin.

Speaker 2:

Paul Mary, and I am your co-host, alan Lazarus, at.

Speaker 1:

Next Level University. We believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for Dream Chasers.

Speaker 2:

We bring you seven episodes per week to help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth.

Speaker 1:

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, for free. Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we teach you how to level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed our latest episode. It was episode number 1359. Therapy is hard but important. I interviewed Alan on The Internal versus The External Game Today for episode number 1360,. Don't trade in your future for your present. So at this stage, i've been tracking habits for probably six years, thanks to one, alan Lazarus, and I started tracking five habits and then it went to six, and then it probably went to eight, and then it went to 12, probably, and now it's I don't know how many. It's 27, 28, something like that. Do you know 28. 28?

Speaker 1:

Look at that You know better than I.

Speaker 2:

I was in there two days ago and I remember I added one.

Speaker 1:

Oh yes, So now it's 28, or is it 29?

Speaker 2:

Now it's 28. Now it's 28. Because I changed the formula.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for that.

Speaker 2:

Thank you for adding one more.

Speaker 1:

Formule. Thank you for adding one. I appreciate that very much.

Speaker 2:

You're welcome. More things for me to do, of course.

Speaker 1:

The when I really feel like I hit my stride when it comes to tracking was probably 2020. It was 2020. Because Tarran and I lived in Boxbro, massachusetts, right after I moved in with Tarran, and I remember I had a streak where I got 100% of my PPT every day for I don't know what it was two, three, four months, something like that.

Speaker 3:

Now.

Speaker 1:

I am lucky. I think I got a 94% one day last week or two days two weeks ago And I was like woohoo, go, kev, you're really crushing it. So how do I go from getting 100% every single day to getting 80% pretty much every single day, and what does that do to you internally? Here's the interesting thing When I was getting 100%, i felt really good about what I was doing. I felt really good about the present, but I didn't necessarily connect the present to my future And I was more focused on making sure I looked successful in the day to day than probably being successful in the year to year, decade to decade. Now I'm getting 80%, but I'm getting way more done in my day to day than I ever have And I'm setting myself up for the future a lot more than I am the present.

Speaker 1:

Now here's the interesting thing. In a way, this was the hard part. The hard transition was I went from feeling like I was crushing it to feeling kind of like I suck. Getting 100% every day felt really good. Then getting 50, 60, 70, 80% kind of feels like garbage. But 80% of my new habits is far better than 100% of my old habit And that's the interesting thing where it's like the gym is an analogy.

Speaker 1:

We always use it. That way You could go and succeed at lifting a weight that's light, or you could struggle at lifting a weight that's heavier, but the weight that's heavier is going to create more progress long term. And then here's the interesting thing Eventually I'll be able to do 100% of what I'm doing, most likely, or I'll get closer to 100%. Then we'll move the needle again and we'll say, okay, now you're averaging 95%, we're going to add more habits, and then I'll go back to 80, right, hypothetically in this And eventually I'll get better at that and maybe I'll get up to 90 and we'll add more and I'll get back to 80.

Speaker 1:

I've always said this. I don't really know how to explain it, but it is a sliding scale. Your success, your productivity, your fulfillment, all of that is a sliding scale based on where you are on the journey, your level of competence in connection to where you are on the journey and, i would say, what you're measuring against as well. So my goal in this episode is to deliver the understanding that just because you feel like you're winning does not mean you are. You might be winning in a moment, but not winning in a month. Just because you feel like you're losing does not mean you are. You might seem like you're losing in a minute, but you might be winning over the course of a month, and that's really the goal in this episode. Don't trade in your future for your present. Don't focus so much on today We did an episode on this recently, so this is connected to that But don't focus so much on making today look great at the detriment to the next week, month, year of your life.

Speaker 1:

Kevin excuse me.

Speaker 2:

Yes, as someone who used to unconsciously optimize more for or focus on more looking good because you were afraid to look bad or afraid to look embarrassed, or afraid to yeah.

Speaker 2:

I mean, you wanted to look good, You wanted to look successful, but you also wanted to be successful, but you wanted to look successful more. That has shifted in you. It's been fascinating to witness, and you recently sent me a video of you six years ago, back in 2017. And can you talk to me a little bit about how much you used to want to look good and feel good on a day to day versus now?

Speaker 1:

The interesting thing is, i don't know if it's very hard to focus on or to not focus on looking good from the day to day when you don't think you're going to win in the long run. I think that's really where I was at from the perspective of I didn't have a ton of belief that I would look good eventually, so my goal was just to look good. now. My goal was if I avoid losing, if I avoid looking bad, i'll feel good. That's really what I'm optimizing for.

Speaker 2:

Or I won't feel bad, or I won't feel bad.

Speaker 1:

I remember when Alan and I lived in Florida for a month in 2019, i think it was And I remember telling Alan I said, hey, i've been studying a lot of physical therapy, i've been studying a lot of anatomy. I'm going to go back to square one when it comes to working out And I used to bench I think the most I ever bench pressed was 295, i think And I said I'm literally going to go back to bench pressing the bar, which is 45 pounds, which is comically light. What I need to get back into Fundamentals. So the reason I'm saying that is because I was. I traded the present, the, the Perception of the present, right.

Speaker 1:

I looked terrible, probably. If you saw me, i was probably. I was Relatively jacked, i looked good probably. But here I am bench pressing the bar and that was. It is not exciting, it is not sexy, it is not impressive to anybody, but I was doing that so I could get to the stage where I am today, where I'm able to bench press heavier weight more comfortably with with less injuries.

Speaker 1:

So The reason I connect that is because I believed in myself and fitness, but I didn't believe in myself in other arenas. So your ability to look bad is probably connected to the level of belief You have in something. We did an episode a couple weeks ago And I think it was the number one place to start seeking feedback, the place where you're best, the place We are most confident, the place where you have practiced the most for me, that was fitness, so that goes hand-in-hand with that conversation. So long story long. It's very hard not to try to control something in the day-to-day when you don't think or feel or know You can't control it in the month-to-month is what I would say well, because if you don't think you're gonna get To an ultimate goal, why wouldn't you?

Speaker 2:

Why would you be willing to tolerate not feeling good in the moment? It's like fascinating.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, if you think you're only gonna get one, you're gonna choose the one that you think you can get.

Speaker 2:

Really, yeah, one speech, like imagine it. You only think you have one shot, one speech.

Speaker 1:

That's one, one or one result. You only feel like you're capable of reverse engineering one result. That's the one you're always gonna reverse engineer, always. It's a okay. This is. This is a really good thought process. I've talked about this many times before. Tower and I love Outdoor shows like alone. There's a show called alone, where people go out into the wilderness and have to survive for X amount of time and something very interesting happens where, if somebody Realizes they can't catch fish, they stop trying completely and they just go get berries. And they just go get berries every day, berries every day, berries every day. You're most likely going to do. The thing that you have the most certainty around Is what I would say, the thing that you're less likely to fail, because it doesn't make. It doesn't make sense to do the thing you're gonna fail at in the short term in the short term.

Speaker 1:

But if you learn how to catch fish, you're so much better off But. I think a lot of us feel, we, a lot of us feel like they feel, on that show, where Today matters more than anything.

Speaker 2:

And I have to get this feeling and I have to get this Reputation and I have to keep my reputation and my perception, my perception, you know well, i know it's turning a little bit into an interview, but how did you overcome that like because you don't operate that way anymore, which which is really Important like you're definitely sold on the long term over short term thing, but you never So to bring the listeners behind the curtain I used to when we were broke, i would basically say, kev, it's okay, like, as long as we can survive, we're gonna be fine. We're gonna make a lot of money one day, right? and for you It was like I I don't understand. Like I need money now And I'm like money now doesn't really matter that much, one day it will. What I now understand genuinely I didn't understand this back then is that if you don't have certainty now, it's gonna be very hard for you to think long term, yes whereas I am able to think long term even with uncertainty.

Speaker 2:

And so you were way outside your comfort zone, into your anxiety zone, while I was in my learning zone and for those you don't know, quickly, comfort zone is the center. Then you have learning zone, then you have anxiety zone. So I spent a lot of time in my learning zone, which is outside my comfort zone, which is where I want to be, and Kevin was actually in his anxiety zone. So I now understand that we need to get both of us in our learning zone and now I think we both kind of are, although honestly I think I'm in my comfort zone maybe a little bit, but that's okay, all right. So my question What, in hindsight like? how did you go from short term Not wanting to fail to basically willing to fail for long-term success? How, i guess, how, does someone do that? I?

Speaker 1:

don't know I. The only thing that really changes is the perspective, because At the time I was already failing on the short term. So it was kind of. It was kind of changing the perspective of I Already feel like a failure. At this stage in my life I'm broke, very broke, very single, very lonely, like In the early, early days when we were very broke, right, i already kind of felt like a failure. I didn't feel like I was succeeding. So it was almost like okay, what you're doing today Isn't really paying off for tomorrow anyway. So how do we get right with that thought? You know, because it's almost like It's so hard to explain Sometimes, when you plan for a year away, things start to happen Sooner than you might think anyway, but your focus shifts.

Speaker 1:

Your focus shifts from Okay, here's a good, here's a good thought process. You heard us talk about this recently. I got a new car. The second I got the car, i was like, wow, that's a lot of money. Then my mind starts playing tricks on me of like okay, well, what happens if I lose a client? What happens if I lose a client? what happens? blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah, instead of saying I need X amount of clients to cover this new payment. I just said well, look at the goals for the rest of the year. If I just accomplish the goals for the rest of the year, like I'm supposed to, everything's fine. Yep, everything's gonna be totally fine. That, just that frame of that, was good. Yeah, it's, it's. Honestly, it's very hard to answer that because I don't remember. I don't remember the shift, what?

Speaker 2:

it just did right there, of like, if we focus on achieving those goals and Those goals actually get achieved, everything else takes care of itself. Yeah for the most part, and so a lot of what people want is actually a byproduct of something bigger and What I want to try to connect in this episode. Can I jump in real quick though?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, here's the issue the results are a byproduct of Maybe something bigger, but the only results you ever get are a byproduct of what you believe you can get.

Speaker 2:

I know, yeah, well, the only goals you set or a byproduct of what you believe you can get there. Because you might get beyond what you believe genuinely. Yeah, but you won't if you don't try, and you probably won't try if you don't set goals. So I understand the conundrum.

Speaker 3:

My name is Nathan Schwerman. I'm from Lawrence Kansas. I've been a client of Alan's for coming on two years now and I really can't recommend this program enough. Alan's always there for me with great advice and holding me accountable every step of the way and and really leading by example I've grown a lot in his program, but he's grown alongside with me, So I'd I'd really recommend joining up on the program and joining the community.

Speaker 2:

Okay, growth needs to be the goal. You said this on stage once, right next next level live, and Kevin basically Said I'm right next to him and he said Alan will just fail as Long as it takes, because he likes failure, because he likes growth I actually want the goal. That was very transparent of you, which I found really fascinating because it's like that's actually true and I never knew why until recently. I Tie myself esteem Not to outer results. If I tied self-esteem to outer results driving a 2008 Subaru, i would feel terrible about myself. I tie myself esteem to who I am and my effort and my growth, so that What's fascinating is, if you tie yourself esteem to personal growth, you'll end up with results eventually. Eventually. If your self-esteem was tied up in the amount of weight you bench, you never could have Taken those steps back but it actually do it right and it was okay.

Speaker 2:

So how do we? that's the problem.

Speaker 3:

That's what we have to help people with what do you tie yourself esteem to?

Speaker 2:

Kevin asked me for this episode What's gonna be your main lesson? I think it's that. What are you tying yourself esteem to? my self-esteem is tied to how much I'm growing. Therefore, when I fail, i actually increase self-esteem. Now it still hurts in the moment and it still kind of sucks, but it It doesn't make me feel worse about myself. It actually makes me feel like I'm gonna win one day, because I'd rather focus on growth.

Speaker 2:

I talk about this briefly, but I used to. I used to be a gamer Semi-pro gamer and I hated losing. I was like a sore loser back then, a little bit in hindsight and I don't think necessarily any more than other gamers gamers tend to be sore losers, especially pro gamers, honestly But I wasn't focused on getting better as much as I was focused on winning. Now, in order to win, i had to get better. If I just focused on getting better, i would have ended up winning way more. You know, i talk about how I was 20th in the world at Halo 2. If I was focused on self-improvement in the game of Halo, i would have ended up number one Instead of. I am tying my self-esteem to whether or not I'm number one. Isn't that fascinating? and I think that that's really the lesson is make growth the goal and all of a sudden, everything, every failure, becomes a win, because you're gonna grow. I mean, how do we grow right? we grow through adversity.

Speaker 1:

It's.

Speaker 1:

It's such a challenge, though, because if you don't have and this is me talking to me about me if you don't have an understanding of a A year from today, you really only look at the snapshot of today, really.

Speaker 1:

So me, say hypothetically, me going to the gym and lifting the bar and being afraid that I'm going to run into somebody who knows me. They're going to see me, you know maybe. Say hypothetically, i'm single at the time, maybe I have a crush on somebody. They're going to see me. They're going to think I'm weak. In that moment, i'm going to think, wow, this person is going to think I'm weak, right, and that just that plagues you, not the process of okay, today I'm going to bench the bar and I'm going to learn something new about myself that I'm going to be able to use next time I come, and then I'll get a little bit better next time and I'll be able to use that for the next time, and then, a year from today, i'll be pain free and I'll be the strongest I've ever been. I think that's just such a it can feel like such a reach for a lot of us.

Speaker 1:

Understandably so Understandably so.

Speaker 2:

That, i think, is where ego comes in. I'll share the story briefly. So there's someone close to me who I know. I don't think they'd mind me sharing this. So Emilia's getting a new car and her business partner, bianca, needs a car and Emilia's going to give her the Prius And they're going to work out payments through Evolventures, through the business, whatever. But the point is Bianca's ego had a really hard time with the idea of driving a Prius, like a really hard time. But it was actually alarming to witness like how much of a hard time she had with that idea.

Speaker 2:

And it's like in my head it's like I would drive the Prius. It's a funny on gas, yeah, definitely, and I think that I get it right. It is a perception hit Like it's not cool quote unquote to drive a Prius or whatever, although I do think it is in some circles. But that is why in the coaching session I consult with Evolventures. So Emilia and Bianca and myself And I basically was talking to them and Emilia and I agreed and Bianca also agreed. She said I'll do it And for the growth you, driving in a Prius and facing the judgment of others in a Prius is going to help you grow. It's almost like it's going to free you from this idea you have of yourself, like who are you if you're in a Prius? Who are you if you drive a 2008? Who are you if you live with your mom when you're 29 years old, like I did, and I told B that?

Speaker 2:

I said B, we wouldn't have gotten here, if I wasn't willing to eat that humble pie. You know, i told her I literally managed an $80 million portfolio in my early 20s And then I went and lived with my mother to start this business. You want to talk about humble pie? That's where all the growth is. Go get humble And I drove a $3,000 car. Then I got a $4,500 car $2,800, and no car payment right, because we didn't have any money in the beginning in the beginning.

Speaker 2:

And now that we can afford all these things, i'm still focused on growth first. At least, that's my goal. So, at the end of the day, i don't want Bianca to feel bad. I don't want any of our listeners to feel bad. What I do want you to know is that your ego, your perception of self, what you think you are, might be holding you back from taking the step back that you need to take 10 steps forward in your future.

Speaker 1:

And what it means, who you think you are, and what it means if you're not. That Right, I'm so used to being the strong guy.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, man.

Speaker 1:

You know, like one of the hardest parts. it's interesting right?

Speaker 2:

Because okay, didn't you end up benching more than you ever had. No, because I, you ended up benching not more than you ever have, but you ended up benching more than you had been.

Speaker 1:

Oh, yeah, yeah More consistently.

Speaker 2:

What were you doing consistently for bench press?

Speaker 1:

Just for this.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, before you went and watched ATHLEANX and got your form right and went back to the bar.

Speaker 1:

Probably like 185, but it was a lot of pain.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so 185 in pain, It was more about feeling better than the weight.

Speaker 2:

Okay. So then you went from 185 in pain all the way back to the bar, yeah. And then you had to kind of check your ego and eat the humble pie of being seen doing the bar. Yeah, must have been interesting to see someone so jacked doing just the bar. You know, fascinating, sure, yeah. And I remember working out with you, you doing 135. And I remember I was lifting more than you and I'm like what, why I'm not usually stronger than you, weird, but anyways. So fast forward, fast forward, fast forward. What did you end up getting to? Because you took the step back.

Speaker 1:

I was doing like 225 consistently by myself.

Speaker 2:

I just go in and I-.

Speaker 1:

No pain, No no, my body feels really good.

Speaker 2:

There you go 185 in pain all the way back to 45 pounds to eventually do 225 pain free. That is exactly what we're talking about.

Speaker 1:

Well, so here's the other thing. This is why I think this happens. You and I were very, very, very in retrospect. Looking back, 2022 was like incredibly busy for us Now. I think now we're more busy and productive, but it's easier to handle Right.

Speaker 2:

It's not as bad.

Speaker 1:

I was not very consistent fitness wise in 2022. Way less than I actually was conscious of at the time.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So 2023 starts and I'm like, okay, i got to get my shit together with this fitness thing. I'm going back to the gym. Awesome, i am weak as hell. I lost so much strength by not going to the gym consistently, to the point where I was I won't say heartbroken, but my spirit was bruised. Oh yeah, man, yeah, because it was like I used to lift this so easily and I'm struggling hardcore.

Speaker 1:

Then it was literally this Fix your body and go to the gym. Fix your body and go to the gym. Fix your body and go to the gym. Fix your body and go to the gym. And then it's okay, just go consistently and do these exercises. Go consistently and do these exercises. Now, when it comes to a lot of the exercises, i'm as strong, if not stronger, than I used to be, but it seems like it's going to take forever. And again, for me it's obviously a unique case because I'm just regaining strength that I once had. But take the gym out of this. It seems like it's going to take forever, but three months of consistency, a lock and change in three months It is wild.

Speaker 2:

Right, i went from not squatting at all Kev And that was hard for me to literally starting with the bar for form, and then I was doing tens and then 25s on each side and now I'm squatting 225 for five, which for me is really good with good form. And I remember, when I was doing 25s on each side, being like, wow, i haven't squatted in so long. I did mostly kettlebells and different stuff. And I remember feeling disheartened of like this is going to take forever. It is, if you're consistent and if you are focused on fundamentals, you wake up and it's like, oh, okay, i've like. I remember putting on the weight recently, being like holy crap, it wasn't that long ago. I was squatting very little, you know yeah, it's wild.

Speaker 2:

It is wild.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, that's the ultimate goal here is if you're doing something today because you want to look good today, you're probably setting yourself up for failure long term.

Speaker 2:

Definitely And eventually.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's a very interesting And I know we talk about that fundamental a lot, but I thought this was a good way to connect it. I don't last thing before we go. Somebody asked me recently about a podcast launch and I gave them my strategy and what I would do And I said look, listen, from my perspective, i don't really care that much about the launch. I don't care about it. I care about what you do for the next year. I don't care. You can have the most successful launch I've launched, top 20 shows, doesn't matter. If you stop in a month, it all, it all dies, which that person did. Yes, that did no longer exist, unfortunately. But I said if you're here a year from today, that's what I care about. I don't care about today. I don't really care that much. I understand it's important, but it's only as important as the growth that we're going to get, that we can use tomorrow and then rinse and repeat. So I thought I would.

Speaker 1:

I thought I would add that next level nation, if you are looking for like minded people who share core core values, who share core beliefs, who want to get better, who want to be more hyper conscious, and you don't want to be judged, next level nation. Our private Facebook group is for you. One of the hardest things in the world is being ourselves, for whatever reason. That is in next level nation. I promise you can be that, so please join.

Speaker 2:

Link is in the show notes below, if you want to finally stop focusing on looking good and feeling good but actually getting better. Group coaching is for you. We can make growth the goal. Group coaching, I can promise you, is going to help you grow. I can't promise you you're going to make a million dollars or anything like that. I can promise you it will help you grow a tremendous amount And then, who knows, maybe one day you will make a million dollars. Okay, So the link will be in the show notes. group 11 on 7 11. So July 11th group 11, 10 people like minded individuals, all streamlined towards your goals. Kevin and myself, join us. the link will be in the show notes.

Speaker 1:

Tomorrow for episode number 1361, one simple habit to help you find perspective. You know me, i am very big on perspective. I had a very interesting breakthrough nostalgia moment this weekend whatever you want to call it that I will share on tomorrow's episode. As always, we love you, appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we do not have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow, make growth the goal Next up on nation.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for joining us for another episode of next level university. We love connecting with the next level family.

Speaker 2:

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.

Speaker 1:

Thank you again And we will talk to you tomorrow.

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host