Next Level University
Confidence, mindset, relationships, limiting beliefs, family, goals, consistency, self-worth, and success are at the core of hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros' heart-driven, no-nonsense approach to holistic self-improvement. This transformative, 7 day per week podcast is focused on helping dream chasers who have been struggling to achieve their goals and are seeking community, consistency and answers. If you've ever asked yourself "How do I get to the next level in my life", we're here for you!
Our goal at NLU is to help you uncover the habits to build unshakable confidence, cultivate a powerful mindset, nurture meaningful relationships, overcome limiting beliefs, create an amazing family life, set and achieve transformative goals, embrace consistency, recognize your self-worth, and ultimately create the fulfillment and success you desire. Let's level up your health, wealth and love!
Next Level University
#1365 - The Two Most Important Things To Know About Yourself
Are you ready to unlock the full potential of your self-belief and self-worth? Today hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros share personal stories and insights on the impact these two crucial factors have on our lives and how you can accurately assess and improve yours to create the life you desire. We also explore the role coaching plays in helping individuals identify their self-belief and self-worth and make decisions that lead to flourishing. They talk about their experiences and the impacts of having too much or too little self-belief and self-worth. They examine ways to identify these levels and make wise decisions based on an accurate assessment of ourselves.
Don't miss this valuable episode as they guide you on how to take steps toward creating the life you want with a solid foundation of self-belief and self-worth. Listen to learn practical strategies and insights to help you achieve your goals and find fulfillment in your personal and professional life.
Links mentioned:
Next Level Monthly Meetup #19: "3 Things Everyone Should Know About Their Intimate Partner" on July 6, 2023, 06:00 PM EST - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/
Next Level Blog - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-blog/
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Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume
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- Next Level 5 To Thrive (free course) - https://bit.ly/3xffver
- Next Level U Book Club - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-book-club/
- Next Level Monthly Meetup #19: "3 Things Everyone Should Know About Their Intimate Partner" on July 6, 2023, 06:00 PM EST - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/
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Alan@nextleveluniverse.com
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Show notes:
[1:59] Two reasons why people do not have the life that they want
[6:53] Level setting
[10:05] Inflated self-worth, low self-belief
[13:26] The difference between self-belief and self-worth
[15:22] Chad shares how Next Level Podcast Solutions transformed his podcast and provided invaluable assistance along the way
[16:01] High self-belief vs low self-belief
[21:24] Entitlement
[25:09] Alignment
[31:59] Outro
I'm gonna plug the next meetup, Which I have. three things everyone should know about their intimate partner. July 6th Cool. What about yourself?
Speaker 2:The blog. It's about self belief and self worth. Good timing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is, it's a good time. I'm gonna have to read this piece of crap at some point. It's good, it's strong.
Speaker 2:I ended it poorly Because I wanted to be hard on it, and then I needed to hit deadlines. You ended it under the gun? I was under the gun, yeah, but it's still very strong. So I didn't land with a bang. at the end I'm gonna go back and make it better, but still very strong.
Speaker 1:Strong word, strong to very strong, i would say.
Speaker 2:Yep, all right, man, you wanna do this episode. Well, you know what they say, though movies only as good as attending.
Speaker 1:I've never heard that before.
Speaker 2:I made it up right now It does.
Speaker 1:Honestly, i can see that as an anecdote. That's probably pretty accurate. It's fairly true. Yeah, i'll give it to you. Okay, would you like to do the?
Speaker 2:episode. I still hate. Where my mic is, i do, i hate where my mic is.
Speaker 1:What's wrong with it?
Speaker 2:I don't know It's like covering my face.
Speaker 1:Well, did you move the camera down?
Speaker 2:or up. I'm gonna try to change something. I'm gonna make this work. I can't podcast like this man Can't do it.
Speaker 1:Hey, you know what's really interesting. What's that Nicholas? whose background did he say something about?
Speaker 2:I know.
Speaker 1:My background.
Speaker 2:Yeah, true.
Speaker 1:I noticed that it was like interesting, I wonder what he thinks about your background.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm sure it's not good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but he's like you, no, no no, no, no, definitely not Emotionally driven human.
Speaker 2:No, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, nevermind.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no man trust me. There's fewer and fewer.
Speaker 1:Well, I just meant like logical M-brained.
Speaker 2:No, yes and no, but not Yeah. That's terrible, it's even worse, oh geez Why.
Speaker 1:Did you move the camera up or down? when you moved it, i moved the whole thing up Which should make it better. Why don't you just put the mic like on its side? You know what I?
Speaker 2:mean Yeah, i got this, perhaps maybe even more.
Speaker 1:Like if you could have it completely sideways so it would just sitting in front. that might be something. We're gonna figure it out We always do.
Speaker 2:It needs to be like angled up like yours. You know Sugar. It needs to be like angled up, like yours. You know That that's pretty good, but it's not great, i feel like that's similar to mine though. This way.
Speaker 1:We'll figure it out. Mine is angled.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, i see what you're doing there.
Speaker 1:Back though It's angled towards the yeah, yeah, yeah, i see what you're doing there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, i see what you're doing there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like that Is it weird. That's okay. Weird is not bad as long as it's.
Speaker 1:It needs to be better than it used to be in theory, it's always gonna have to cover your mind, your mouth, though because mine does too, i'm just conscious of sometimes I move away. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:How do other podcasters do it without it covering their mouth?
Speaker 1:They have different mics and And honestly there's their audio quality is different, not as good, it depends. It depends. A lot of people are like Further away, so you can have the mic in a different angle. I like being right up on it. I think it's important.
Speaker 2:I think it is too. It's so much better in the quality of the audio, and I that's why I would like to have the best of both worlds, if possible.
Speaker 1:I know, i think it's better than you think, okay.
Speaker 2:It's definitely covering a lot of my face.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean well, yeah, cuz it's covering a lot of my face too. Maybe I'm just used to. I don't know, I'm probably just so used to it covering more of my face than it used to.
Speaker 2:I don't know arms.
Speaker 1:Don't know. There is a way, i mean you could set it up. You could probably. I Don't know. Is there a way to like bring it in and then like, boom it, so it's coming down? Different, remember how you wanted to have him, like hanging.
Speaker 2:Yeah, even that though it would cover this part of my face like there's no, i Don't think there's like a. This is actually not bad. This is the best It's been so far. Okay, i think. I Think I have a fear of it being too low, but that it's. I still sound good. Oh yeah, you can hear it right. I can hear it Well actually. So I think I'm just it might be an issue with the other mics, because I'm switching between microphones, you gotta remember. Hmm, those other ones don't do well, unless you're like right on them.
Speaker 2:Hmm and, and I'm switching between this setup and the conscious couples, so I might be like Jeff and with my, this feels pretty good right here. Let's give it looks. It looks good to me, okay. If you notice that it sounds poor, you gotta tell me. Okay. Like, have you thought? like, have you had concerns with me not talking into the mic? No, okay, and that's on your radar blind.
Speaker 1:Well, cool, my When I listen. I haven't reviewed in the last couple days, but when I listen I'm thinking like everything Okay, all audio experience, that's all I care about is that we're getting better.
Speaker 2:That's it, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:If you're not concerned.
Speaker 2:I feel, i feel like this is an improvement. I do genuinely okay, i'm not, i'm not concerned and I'm gonna plug the blog. You're gonna plug.
Speaker 1:Meet up meet up.
Speaker 2:I'm in your role.
Speaker 1:Here we go, next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level University, where we teach you how to level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed our latest episode. It was episode number 1364. Self-care isn't selfish a simple title, but hopefully a valuable episode today for episode number 1365 the two most important things to know about yourself. So I said in the outro of the last episode this was going to be the most valuable episode ever, of all time. It's a bold statement.
Speaker 1:I was talking a lot of trash.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you talk a lot of shit.
Speaker 1:Sometimes I do. I'm hoping it will be, but and here's why, here's why I said that yes, i was joking, but that is my, that is my goal. Obviously, somebody asked me the other day Is there anything we didn't talk about today on the podcast? So I was a guest that you want to talk about, like what's on your heart, what are you learning about what? what breakthroughs have you been having? and I said at the end of the day The two it's great question, great question the two reasons People do not succeed, whatever success means to you.
Speaker 1:People do not find fulfillment, whatever fulfillment means to you. People do not have The relationship they want, really the re. The two reasons people don't have the life that they want. It's either inaccurate self-belief or inaccurate self-worth. And I said I know that's a blanket statement And I know that's a bold statement, but think of it this way a lot of the things that we do or don't do are based on our belief. A lot of the things that we do or don't do are based on our worth. And if you're not aware of those two things, you might not try something you you need to try Because you're afraid you're gonna fail or you think you should already be successful, so you don't need to try. Nope, this was my, this was my analogy for it.
Speaker 1:There are many people out there right now who have a really, a Really big goal, a really personal goal, a really important goal to them, but they don't believe it's possible. And if they don't believe it's possible, it is not possible unless they get lucky To find somebody who believes in them that'll take them with them, unless they hire a coach. But if you don't believe in yourself, you probably won't. Unless a Series of events outside of your control happens, you're probably not going to accomplish that goal if you don't believe in it. That's person one, person two Has a very, very, very high level of self-belief. I used to think that was a really good thing and I think It has its benefits, of course. But oftentimes those people don't think they need to take action because In a way and you can speak to this at a deeper level after my epic monologue in a way You think you can accomplish anything, so you don't really have to try like you can accomplish anything. You have so much belief you're not going to go try a bunch of different stuff. You're probably going to say, well, i could do that if I wanted to. I'm just not going to do it.
Speaker 1:Then, if we think from the frame of self-worth, there are many people out there right now that do not think that they deserve success. They're not worthy of success. Every time They grow, they leave somebody behind, so they're holding themselves back Because they're afraid to be alone. On the other end of that, there are many people out there right now who believe they are entitled to success. If you believe you are entitled to success, you most likely aren't going to do the work it takes to achieve that success. And then you're probably going to convince yourself You didn't want her anyway. And if you think of any of those four positions, none of those are really, really, really A power place. It's very hard to win from any of those one places.
Speaker 1:And until you're aware of that and then you realize, okay, at the end of the day, when it comes to self-belief, whether you're high or low, action is the cure. All Right, i need to tell myself I can run a mile, alan, and I do it and I believe in myself. Alan says I'm gonna run 26.2 miles And then gets humbled when he can't perfect and he says I need that humility, i need that belief. Cool action is the cure. All brings you closer to five when it comes to self-worth. It's keeping small promises to yourself right If you don't believe in yourself? It's keeping small promises to yourself, building self-trust, setting small boundaries, visiting your past all of that stuff When you have very high, high, high self-worth, it's getting humbled.
Speaker 1:It's It's really it's getting humbled to like Why do you think you deserve the level of success we have? again, like what if you You never podcasted, you never spoke and you've never coached, you don't have a business? You haven't done this for the last six years? Like, why do you believe you're entitled to that? You need humility, but that comes through action too. So if And you've coached way more people than I are you able to connect self-belief and self-worth? I Guess what level are you able to connect self-belief and self-worth to each human you've coached?
Speaker 2:So There's a. The article that I'm going to share at the end of this episode has its cover photo as a Quadrant for quadrants, and it really articulates what Kevin just opened with, which is on the bottom left. Quadrant is 00, so the the y-axis is 0 to 10 self-belief. The x-axis is 0 to 10 Self-worth, so the bottom left is 00, meaning no self-belief and no self-worth. The upper right is 10 10, which is 10 out of 10 self-belief, 10 out of 10 self-worth and everything in between.
Speaker 2:I Am able to, when I coach someone, understand where they are inaccurate. That is my goal with coaching, and I'm far better at Helping people build belief and build self-worth, then level setting people in order to get to the next level. There's certain people that need to be level set and And what is a good example of that? All right, there's a person in our life who thinks that she's on your level with a lot of things. If She continues to believe that Inaccurately, she's gonna make decisions that you're making without understanding the implications of that, and so, pretty much Coaching what it really is is getting people to see themselves more accurately and then getting them to see the path more accurately and then getting them to Re-see themselves Accurately once they get these new results. So I've told you. I'll give you an example. So Before Kevin went to, was it podcast?
Speaker 2:what? where did you speak? Podfest podcast. Okay, so before you went to podcast, you were like concerned. You're like, well, i'm the podcast guy in a room of non podcasters, but am I gonna be able to be the podcast guy in a room of podcasters? and I was like, kept, you're gonna know more than everyone in that room, and I know that that sounds arrogant. What I really am saying underneath that is you and I have studied this industry and and podcasting every day for six years, pretty Drastically like to a to a sufferable extent. Okay, no one else is doing that, and I know that not no one, but almost no one, and So for me it's gonna be. I knew you'd go there and you'd realize, holy crap. Not to mention, there's more data that I haven't shared 44 other podcasts that we produce. You've set up other people's studios. You set up our studio. You do, you did audio production. You've done all. You've done all of the teaser clips you name. So how many other people have production? podcast production agencies?
Speaker 2:Right most people don't have a podcast, never mind a podcast production agency, and most people are also fairly new, and when you look at the statistics, the majority of podcasters are newbies. That's okay, right. Very few people make it to six years, all right. So I'm gathering all that data and then drawing a conclusion, and the conclusion I draw is Kev, you're gonna go there and realize that your league's ahead of almost everyone, which is exactly what happened. So I all I had to do was identify Oh okay, his belief is lower than it should be and his worth is lower than it should be. So let me tell him in advance that he's inaccurate. Then he'll go get data that proves that I was right About the truth, and then you'll get closer to accurate faster. That's really what Coaching is in a nutshell. Now, here's the thing If coaching is nothing less than helping people in the world so that they can make good decisions within it and flourish within it, i think you just switch screens, by the way. No some.
Speaker 1:It just froze. Just keep going, i'll get us back.
Speaker 2:Okay, we've got some technical things happening, but that's okay, because we fail right on forward. Kevin's leaving Kevin's back. All right, what's?
Speaker 1:happening.
Speaker 2:So coaching is this I have to identify where you are, where you want to go, and then help you learn how to get there. It starts with finding out where someone is on that grid. Some people have inflated self-worth and super low self-belief, but they've told themselves a story. They have self-belief when in reality it's actually self-worth.
Speaker 2:So I have someone I'm thinking of in my past who is extremely entitled and who has very high self-esteem, super high, like, honestly, in some ways too high, because it's not built on anything real. It's built on being spoiled as a child, quite frankly, and so that's actually detrimental to her goals, because she doesn't really think she has to work. She thinks she deserves stuff, and anyone who thinks they deserve stuff is going to have a rude awakening when life smacks you down and life smacked me down with my car accident and other things. So all of us get humbled eventually. The problem is, are you doing this proactively? And so yeah, to answer your question, it's very clear to me when I first meet someone where they're at on these four quadrants, and then I usually try to guide accordingly.
Speaker 1:I had a client or we had a client, but this was kind of before the production company was really what it is today on LPS And I remember if you saw this person, you would assume they were unreasonably confident. If you're watching or listening to this you would just be like, oh, that's a very confident human being And this person was terrified of everything, like I don't want to look bad. Just so many things, so many what ifs? We can't drop this episode because I messed up So many things.
Speaker 1:But the way they gave feedback to me was from an entitlement place of like anytime I ever made a mistake with anything, it was like the end of the world and I was the worst And it was basically. It was just negative. It was a very negative relationship where what I used to have to do was I used to have to tear them down a little bit, not tear down in a negative way, but kind of give them the truth of like look, i know you're a podcaster, but trust me, i know way more than you do. Just listen to me. You pay me $700 a month for a reason. Just listen to me. Like that level of, but I'm not good at that. I don't like doing that. That feels weird, it feels dirty. I don't like doing that.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, but a great coach is able to do that grace. I know, i don't know what's happening with our I have no idea I show.
Speaker 1:I show no issues with StreamYard Same, So I'm not sure what's going on. Just for the listeners right now.
Speaker 2:I want to let everyone in behind the curtain, kevin and I are in on YouTube and he's on the left typically and I'm on the right. It StreamYard keeps switching us. We keep switching sides.
Speaker 1:Yeah, i'm just going to run it because that's that. Let me just make sure. Yeah, i'm still recording audio.
Speaker 2:Let's just run it Same, let's just do it. Yeah, we're good.
Speaker 1:We're good Now I'm on this side, that's okay.
Speaker 2:I'm going to run it. That's fine, i got to. I got to move you, though, so that it looks like I'm looking at the camera, because technically I'm. I'm looking at Kevin.
Speaker 1:No, it's all good It's all, good It's. it's very interesting how those clients are usually the ones who can't win. It is weird. I'm trying to look over here. Those are the clients who who never win because Let's do this real quick.
Speaker 2:I'm going to break this down and ask you questions. All right, self-belief, yeah, okay, you six years ago, you hadn't really studied humans. At time, you didn't know a lot of this. We didn't even know the difference between self-belief and self-worth. My girlfriend was the one who said you know, self-belief and self-worth are different, right, and I was like nope. And she's like no, no, they're totally different. And now we've studied it, we've analyzed it, we've coached on it, It meetups a lot, a lot makes sense in retrospect, now for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, i did not understand. So, okay, okay, what does real self-belief actually look like? Like? what are some signs?
Speaker 1:Certainty, certainty, i think self-belief is. You are certain of yourself and you're certain of yourself in the uncertainty. It's almost like you know you can figure it out, even if you don't know it. You're willing to try. You might look bad, but you're not really worried about it.
Speaker 2:Okay, so people mask and act that way with ego, yes, even though they're not actually self-confident. Here's the thing. Here are the tells.
Speaker 1:I don't know if most people will recognize the tells, because I don't. Most people haven't seen as many people as we have.
Speaker 1:Yeah the one of the things is somebody talks a big game, but the second they get frazzled, they change their vibe, they change their mood, they change their, their Energy. There's a lot of people who say, like You know, i'm super confident and I'm a speaker and I'm an author. But the second, something goes wrong. It's like, ah, that's all facade, that's not real. If, going back to identity, your identity is stacked up of the things you've accomplished, not the person you are, that's not belief, that's not certainty, that's not confidence. So it's almost like somebody who can stand on their own with themselves.
Speaker 1:Yeah regardless of everything else. That's belief. I think that's belief.
Speaker 2:That's true abundance too, because take away the accolades and you know you're still gonna be able to climb, so to speak. Yeah okay, now what? what about self-worth? What is? I Think we should do low self-belief, high self-belief. I think we should do low self-worth and high self-worth, and that way everyone can self-identify.
Speaker 1:So low self-belief looks like blank low self-belief looks like not setting goals Because you don't believe you can achieve them, saying I could never do that, because Sitting back, being the person who sits back in the corner, never raises their hand Yeah, you just. You're very unsure of yourself and you're afraid of everybody else knowing it.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, there All right high self-belief.
Speaker 1:I feel like that's. I should probably kick that to you.
Speaker 2:Okay, the opposite of what you said. These people have large goals but they actually Align with them. They don't just say it. They people with high self-belief. I have one person I coach. I'm thinking of her. She's amazing. She works harder behind the scenes than anyone else knows. She's almost so awesome that she has to pretend She's not when she's around other people because they're so insecure. And she's actually very humble. She's like a wonderful person, but behind the scenes She just, she's just amazing That it's almost like people with true high self-belief. It's hard for them to get along with other people Because they're easily disliked, because most people think they're arrogant. And what's ironic is that the people who are actually arrogant, with inflated self-worth It looks the same as high self-belief, but it's not the same. The people that I'm talking about are the people who, like, are way more behind the scenes than other people can can tell, and They're usually extremely well educated, they work really hard, they learn a lot, they are very humble and they usually have coaches and mentors and Therapists.
Speaker 1:They're They're real self-read. Yeah, this is like real self-belief real self-belief. Yeah, where are you?
Speaker 2:And they usually have a Reluctance to share their real goals. If you ever meet someone who you ask what their goals are and they're like afraid to tell you, that's someone with real self-belief the people who bark the goals like they can't wait to tell you.
Speaker 1:They don't have real self-belief.
Speaker 2:The people who I coach, who have a lot of self-belief, and there's no exception. This rule, kev, that I've found they don't want to tell you their goals. It's almost like you have to like hey, no.
Speaker 2:I know, yeah, but this might sound crazy, this might sound crazy, but yeah, I'm like it's not gonna sound crazy to me, but it does sound crazy to most people. So I understand And they're reluctant to share it because they've been very hurt in the past From from sharing their goals and they learned that very young because kids can be very cruel. Okay, low self-worth What does that look like?
Speaker 1:I think you and I both struggled with this. It not Not setting boundaries, assuming other people's time is more valuable than your own, people pleasing, putting other people ahead of you to a drastic Detrimental level, not feeling like you deserve success, not feeling like you deserve love, not feeling like you deserve an aligned relationship. You just don't feel valuable.
Speaker 2:Tolerating being disrespected. Yeah, that constantly tolerate disrespect.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're. You might be afraid of success because you don't feel like you deserve it or you're not deserving of Yep, and then high is the. You're Opposite. You're usually someone if you have low self-worth, you usually Attract bullies.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because bullies find people who tolerate their, their crap.
Speaker 1:Well, i said that. I said that to somebody recently. I said there's. They said well, you know, i just attract negative people. And I said no, no, no, everybody has the opportunity. Opportunity to attract negative people. You just don't filter them out. That's a self-worth thing. You don't filter them and they should get filtered out. You're not. It's not just that you're attracting them, it's your filter isn't recognizing or determining.
Speaker 1:Oh, i deserve better than this. And then that's why the cycle perpetuates. It's like, unfortunately, we have had the behind-the-scenes. Look into so many of the amazing community members and I say unfortunately Because we realize how many of them have been just take advantage of or mistreated. And here's what happens Somebody they trust mistreats them. That immediately hurts their self-worth Wow, i'm not worthy of the love that I was promised because it was all fake. That throws off what quote unquote normal is. And the next time somebody comes along you're not gonna recognize oh, i deserve way more than this person is even offering me. They end up hurting you And then the cycle just perpetuates. Here's the interesting thing On the opposite end of that super high, delusional self-worth, people think they people stay single forever because they assume or they think they deserve to attract somebody. Amazing. Even though they haven't worked on themselves, they want to attract someone or something far greater than the effort that they have put in On working on themselves or working toward that goal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's almost like they believe, and that's the thing that's alarming about this, And in my framework, in the blog, you'll see that these are what I call the villains. Quote unquote the inflated self-worth people. And we've all got that inside of us at times, And I remember a time in my life when I was spoiled for sure, And before my stepdad left and we didn't have any money, and that's a whole story I won't get into, But the point is, is that it's entitlement? It's like I'm awesome Okay, a good example Someone who was an all-star football player in high school and they still have that same identity, even though they haven't done anything of real merit since then. Have you ever met one of those high school athletes that still thinks they're the man Right?
Speaker 1:For a good reference. If you've ever seen Napoleon Dynamite, Uncle Rico, I could throw a pigskin clearer of those mountains. Have you ever seen Napoleon Dynamite? Yeah, a long time ago. Yeah, that was a classic, Uncle Rico. Look up, Uncle Rico.
Speaker 2:But those people unconsciously believe they are worthy beyond others and they often are the ones who mistreat. So people with low self-worth are finding people with inflated self-worth. People with high self-belief are actually finding people with low self-belief who are usually faking self-belief through self-worth, so it gets. My article goes deeper into all this. My blog I should say next level blog But it's very important that everyone can identify where you are now and you're attracting the opposite.
Speaker 2:Most likely. It's weird you're attracting similar in certain circles and then you're also attracting the opposite, usually intimately And because there's that whole opposite-attract thing but I'm still trying to figure that out because like birds of a feather flock together, so it's kind of both simultaneously, which is a whole another rabbit hole. But I do know that the community we have tends to be low self-belief, low self-worth, which is a very dangerous place to be. And that's why we focus so much on how to build self-belief and how to build self-worth, because when you do that, you aren't gonna tolerate being bullied or disrespected, you're gonna actually value yourself and you're gonna have goals and you're gonna be like screw you, like I'm out, like no, and I think that that's really empowering.
Speaker 1:I had last thing I'll say before we get off here. I did a podcast breakthrough session recently and I always get super nervous about the answer I got. So I have a questionnaire just asking questions like why'd you start? do you have a show? like just tell me a little bit about yourself, just so I can understand what we're gonna talk about? And under it it's what's your biggest struggle right now? And this person said nothing crushing it. I love it. And immediately it's like my issue, or quote unquote issue.
Speaker 1:My fear is that this person's gonna have delusionally high self-worth. They're gonna think that this is just gonna work out because that's just their mind. I know it's gonna work out when it's supposed to and I know the timing's gonna be right and I know I'm ever gonna end up where I'm supposed to. And I literally on the call, said what do you want me to teach you? Because I said transparently I'm just not certain where to go, because if you're not struggling with anything, i don't know where to deliver. And we had a really good conversation. It was really really, really good. But I said what do you want to happen? And she said well, i just wanna stay aligned. And I said no, i understand, but what is the result you want? And she said I don't have a result in mind.
Speaker 2:Well then, aligned is not aligned Because aligned presupposes a future end state.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:If you have a goal, you can align with the goal.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a requirement, it's a requirement for alignment.
Speaker 2:That's like a DDS it doesn't have an destination.
Speaker 1:Exactly from where you are to where you wanna get, to Alignment. When you go and get your car aligned, what does that mean? It means your tires are facing the right way, They're aligned, they're in alignment.
Speaker 2:Which is the right way, meaning forward, forward, progress. Last question, because I know we gotta jump.
Speaker 1:Well, let me, i just wanna wrap that up. The point in sharing that was this person most likely won't win. Because what?
Speaker 2:I just thought it took everything in me, not to say wrap it up.
Speaker 1:This person's gonna struggle to win with their podcast because they don't. They assume they're going to, they assume they deserve to. Based on the fact that they say, well, it's gonna happen when it's supposed to, it's a very, very dangerous place to be. They don't have a strategy. Now they humbly said I really need strategy. I was like, okay, cool, awesome. Thank you so much for giving me that understanding, cause I just assumed you're just gonna keep doing what you're doing and you think it's gonna Good strategy toward what?
Speaker 1:You don't have a goal, there is no recipe. Yeah, more impact.
Speaker 2:I guess That's like saying I'm gonna go cook something, but it's like okay, well, what's the recipe? It's like I have no idea what you're cooking. Are you cooking turkey chicken lamb?
Speaker 1:The only goal in that story is just that if you resonate with that, there is a potential that you have your over with self-worth. That's a good example of that. You wanted to say something before we went. No, no, no, i had another question, but I also.
Speaker 2:I can't see the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's 5.46,. You have a call at 6. But we're already 32 minutes in, so we should probably wrap it up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we gotta, that's it. Then The identify where you're at self-belief and self-worth And try to assess yourself as accurately as possible and then focus on building those two things, but building them on real merit, not delusion. And I think that if you think accurately about yourself, if, if, okay, tucker and Tariel real quick. My dog, my cat, my cat is capable of jumping like seven feet. It's wild like she can. She can jump all over place.
Speaker 2:Tucker, if he thinks he can do that too, he's gonna get hurt. Hmm, and it's not good for him to believe that he can do the same thing she can. And it's also not good for him to think he's just as deserving of whatever is up on the top shelf, because it's inaccurate, he's not the same and he shouldn't treat himself the same. That doesn't mean he's less worthy of life, it just means he's less worthy of the cookies on the top shelf In this analogy. And that's okay, you know, because his capabilities are lower. So, wherever, just accuracy, i think, is the most important thing, and and you can always build it. So if you do have low self-believe or low self-worth, that's okay. You're not lost. You're not, you're not done there. You can grow them. You can grow them Over time on the reason we're so.
Speaker 1:We get so fired up about an episode like this. We created something called the drive to five years ago And it's just what we were doing, but we didn't know what we were doing. But now it makes. It makes so much sense, it's like no, this is like a real thing that we've seen, based on our experience. First, like I was very low on self-worth and self-belief, alan was very high on self-belief, low on low on self-worth That we just recognize that in ourselves. And now I don't. I can't really look at somebody without seeing that, because I know This. When I said this is the most valuable episode it'll ever, you'll ever hear Hopefully it is, but I think it could be the most powerful one because if you have a breakthrough of oh my god, my whole life, i've convinced myself that I have high self-worth, but it's actually high self-belief or vice versa or Any of that.
Speaker 2:If this is an unlock, that means we did our job last thing, i promise if you see someone Who appears super confident, you think they have high self-belief Start asking yourself Oh my god, is that inflated self-worth? That's very common. that's very, very common. You used to think Self-worth and self-belief were the same and a lot of the people you thought had a ton of self-belief. You now realize in hindsight it was just inflated self-worth.
Speaker 2:Yeah and that was a unlock for me And for you, and I just want to show that with our list. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1:I appreciate it. July 6th is our next meetup. So when you learn to drive, you probably get told a couple things like the three most important things you should know. You know this is where you put the gas in. This is how you check your oil. Make sure you put your seatbelt on. Those are probably the three most important things. We don't really learn that about a lot of other stuff. We don't really learn that about money. We don't really learn that about relationships. So July 6th, 6 pm, eastern Standard Time, our next monthly meetup. Three things everyone should know about their intimate partner. If you want a successful relationship, you have to be aware of your partners traumas, triggers, love languages, communication styles, all that. So we will jam on that again. It is completely behind the scenes, it is totally private. You do not have to participate. You can, if you want, you can bring questions. It's a good time. Join us. I.
Speaker 2:Mentioned it several times already, the blog is bi-weekly and if you're on our mailing list, if you're not on our mailing list, email me, alan at nextleveluniversecom. I'll get you on there. Send me your email. Since you're emailing me, i'll have your email, but this blog post is going to be linked in the show notes. It is an Article that I worked for months on a blog that I worked for months on about self-belief and self-worth. So it's very if this episode unlocked something for you, i can promise you that this blog will be another level of unlock of the same through line. Okay, so I hope you check it out. It's probably a 10 minute read 10 to 15 minute read and let me know what you think.
Speaker 1:So full disclosure for the next episode. I was planning on doing overly abundant versus overly scarce, but we talked a lot, i mean that's. It's kind of too connected to this. So I don't know what we're gonna do yet for the next episode. Fair, we're gonna do it on the fly, make it, make a change. I want to make sure the next one's valuable and I don't want to just be recycling kind of everything we talked about today. So I don't know what it's gonna be. You'll see the title of the next episode in The morning and you can choose whether a listener or not. We hope you will, because I'm sure it will be the second most valuable episode you've ever heard. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and NLU. We did not have fans, we have family. We'll talk to you all tomorrow dial in your self-belief and self-worth.
Speaker 2:Next level nation.
