Next Level University

#1405 - Can You Be TOO Loyal?

Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros, dropped a bold truth bomb: unchecked loyalty, despite its virtues, can be a double-edged sword. They shed light on the 'obliger' tendency, as described by Gretchen Rubin in her book, The Four Tendencies, and its potential to snare us in a cycle of self-sacrifice. They expose the delicate dance between loyalty to others and self-fulfillment. They also venture further into self-alignment, exploring the potential pitfalls of pleasing others at the expense of personal aspirations. They dissect the tenacity it takes to balance nurturing relationships and staying fiercely committed to individual goals.

Links mentioned:
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Show notes:
[1:26] You can be too loyal
[4:31] Alan recognizes that he was an obliger
[6:19] Fear of success
[15:11] Choose who or what you are loyal to
[16:34] John talks about his phenomenal experience working with Kevin and the Next Level Podcast Solutions team
[19:06] Loyal to the goal
[25:06] Result of being loyal to one goal
[32:06] Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Speaker 1:

Good, it's all gravy. Where are you plugging son?

Speaker 2:

So it's very hard to remember what I plugged last time You're gonna plug. I think you plugged the meetup last time. I'll plug next elimination. Can't do it too much, no such thing. You ready for this man?

Speaker 1:

What am I gonna plug? New book club. We have a poll.

Speaker 2:

Always New book and book club limitless. Finally gonna take the W.

Speaker 1:

You think so?

Speaker 2:

I think, yeah, well, I don't know. Last time I looked it was up All right.

Speaker 1:

I'm on it.

Speaker 2:

You ready? Here we go. Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we teach you how to level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed our latest episode, episode number 1,404.

Speaker 2:

One of the reasons vulnerability is so hard, one of the many reasons, honestly, today, for episode number 1,405, happy Saturday. Can you be too loyal? The answer from my perspective is yes, especially if you're somebody who has obliged your tendencies. So an obliged is somebody who will do more for others than they will do for themselves, and I think most of us have some of those traits in us. But obliged is struggle with getting stuff done, because they will just jump at the opportunity to help somebody else instead of themselves. So it can be something that holds them back in many ways.

Speaker 2:

Did a podcast breakthrough session with somebody the other day and I was on their show and we really hit it off. This person's an amazing human being, great message, great mission, great personality, great energy. And we ended up doing a podcast breakthrough session and they said, hey, what does it look like working with you? And I said, well, this is what we do. This is how much it costs all of these things. And I said can I ask who are you working with currently and how much are you paying a month? Just so I know, just so I have an understanding of what you're actually trying to accomplish? And this person said 10.94. And I said like 1094, that's how much you're paying per month. And she said, yeah, but I'm getting this and this and this. And I said no, no, no, no. We can do all of that coaching and more, for less than half of that. Is that something you might be interested in? Because she mentioned that I'm not making any money with the show and I'm trying to lower expenses. Right, cool, awesome.

Speaker 2:

And she said wow, okay, that's something I really have to think about. She said the only thing is I'm really loyal to the team I have. And I said I completely respect that and I completely understand that. But you can be too loyal if you're coming from it from a heart perspective and saying you know what? I have to stay here because if I go away, this person's not gonna like me. I have to stay here because if I go away, they might look down on me. If I go away, I'm gonna look selfish. I struggle to put myself first. That could be a really dangerous place to live.

Speaker 2:

So I sent them a message with all of our pricing and stuff. She said I'll get back to you in a couple of days, and then she ended up responding saying I'm gonna stick with the team that I currently have. Things are working really well. I don't think right now is the time for a change. No harm, no foul, no hard feelings. I love you. I still want you to win. If it becomes a line in the future, please let me know.

Speaker 2:

But what I tried to tell this person on the call is you have to be very not even from a perspective of come work with us. You have to be very, very careful when it comes to your loyalty, because if the people around you aren't serving you, you're being loyal to your lack of success, not your success, and that really is the goal of today's episode. Are you the type of person who stays way too long around people, places, things, ideas, feelings? Are you the type of person who has either been convinced or convinced yourself that it is selfish for me to put myself first? It is selfish for me to leave a relationship or leave a situation that doesn't serve me, because I think a lot of people are struggling with that. That is the intention behind today's episode.

Speaker 1:

First and foremost, I think it's hard to look in this mirror for someone who really is terrible at this. I'm speaking about myself in this moment. I don't think I would have identified myself as an obliger in the past. You and I used to talk about that book, the Poor Tenancies by Gretchen Rubin. We used to bring it up all the time. There's the rebels, there's the questioners, there's the obligers and there's the upholders. And the obligers are good at doing things for others. The upholders are good at keeping promises to themselves and others. The rebels can't keep promises to themselves or others. And then the questioners are good at keeping promises to themselves. I don't think back then I would have considered myself an obliger, but now, fast forward, fast forward.

Speaker 1:

I have definitely realized that I obliged a lot of my life. A lot of my life, and I think that all of us have this deep fear of being alone, a deep fear of not being liked, a deep fear of not being valued, not belonging. I was on the phone with a client yesterday and she's about to be very successful. There's a really, really prestigious institution that's about to invest potentially millions of dollars into her opportunity and she's scared. And what was fascinating about this is that I think she's more scared of success than she is of failure, and either way, it's a vulnerable spot to be in. Some of us are scared of both. Some of us are more scared of success than failure, some of us are more scared of failure than success, and then some of us are scared of failure until we succeed and then we're scared of success. It's like this weird pendulum that keeps swinging. So we all just try to stay just successful enough, but where we don't feel like failures, right, a little comfort zone. But anyways, I was talking to her and she I said well, what's underneath the fear of success? What are you really scared of? She says I think I'm afraid I'm gonna lose all my friends. And I said to her something I never used to say, which is, honestly, you are probably, you probably are going to lose all of your friends. This person has an opportunity to go places and do things that not only are all over the world, but she's going to be a potentially multi-million dollar eventually maybe billion dollar business owner. It's not like her old friends are going to be able to come with her on that journey, and the old me never would have said that. The new me realizes how impractical that is. It doesn't mean she can't see them ever, but she's probably going to feel a little bit alone in here in her heart. I'm pointing to my heart. But here's the cool thing you will attract new friends, you'll attract new people. You'll attract new opportunities, you'll attract new relationships.

Speaker 1:

To bring it back to this point of this episode we all obliged because we're so deeply fearful of losing relationships. I did that so much in my life. I didn't want to lose friends, so I would just kind of do things I didn't really want to do. I remember I went to a play. I went to a play and it was fun. I don't care about plays. I mean, why was I at that play really? Was it because I didn't have anything else to do? No, it was because I wanted to build a relationship with that person.

Speaker 1:

And I think in hindsight if I could go back. And this is what happens when we get older we look back and we go. You know what. Honestly, I don't think that was ever really aligned. I went and saw Book of Mormon, the play, the one with the South Park guy.

Speaker 1:

I don't care for any of that, I really don't. I mean it was funny. But that's not. I would never go do that on my own. You know what I mean. So I think that as you get older you hopefully get wiser and just realize a lot of the stuff we did when we were younger just wasn't really aligned. A lot of it was obliging, a lot of it was I want to be a part of something and I want to be liked and I want to be valued and I want friends and I want maybe my intimate partner to love me and I want to do you know. So it's very hard to walk that line, because if all you ever do is things for yourself, you're selfish and you're not going to have any relationships. But if all you ever do is things for your relationships, you're going to lose yourself for sure. And I've been on both ends of that and I try really hard to stay, you know, centered, and I think that's really what this episode's about.

Speaker 2:

I had a conversation with one of my friends in the past this was years ago and I remember this person wanted to go out to the bar and just go party for the night and I said I'm just not interested in that. I want to do that. I'm past that, that's. I don't want to do that anymore. Again, you do you nothing against it, just for me, it doesn't excite me. I'm not, I'm not excited to do that. More often than not, the times that I did that were because I was obliging what everybody else wanted and I also realized I don't want to say give and take, but let me see what this does for the friendship. Right, like that part of it. I understand if I say no every time, you're probably going to stop asking me, but are you also going to stop asking me to do other things that I actually want to do? So it's a fine line. But I remember talking to this person. I said look, I'm, I'm sorry, but I'm never going to be that guy. I'm never going to be the guy that goes out with you every weekend. It's not me, it's not who I am, it's not who I've ever been, it's just not who I am. I want to be loyal to you and I want to be loyal to our friendship, but I also need to be loyal to myself and what I believe in, and that really is the not the balance, but the juggling act of those two things.

Speaker 2:

This weekend is Taren's mom's birthday and I think we're going to go have a picnic and I'm sure there's going to be food and I'm sure there's going to be cake. In my mind I'm already saying okay. Well, I want to be loyal to Taren, so I'm going to go. I want to be loyal to my family, because her, her mom, is my family now we're married, so I'm going to go. I'm going to put on a happy face, I'm going to be a great energy, I'm going to be positive light, but I'm going to hold loyalty to myself and I'm probably not going to eat what everybody else eats. I'm okay with that, right it's?

Speaker 1:

I'm here no cake for the kid.

Speaker 2:

No cake for the kid. No, the kids, the kids, been on his diet. I've been, I've been doing really well, the gym's going great. I, I don't. I would regret that. I would regret that. Now here's the other thing. I already have this thought I might go and maybe I will have cake and maybe I'll just suffer for the rest of the day. That's another potential too. Maybe I'll just show up and nobody will know the difference. Nobody will know I'm dieting and I'll just exist as I normally would, and I'll catch up for it by not eating for the rest of the day or doing extra cardio, whatever it is.

Speaker 2:

But in my mind, that's what I'm thinking. I want to be loyal to my goals and I want to be loyal to the people around me. Any time there's a conflict between those two, that's where we have to have a conversation internally, externally, either way. But that really is when we think of loyalty. I think we usually are thinking of other people. I'm loyal to my job, I'm loyal to my company, I'm loyal to my family, to my partners, my friends, my friend group.

Speaker 2:

How loyal are you to yourself? Because, at the end of the day, you are the person whose loyalty matters the most to you? Yeah, your friends obviously. But if you are sacrificing yourself for everybody in your life, you're not going to value yourself at a very high degree. That's another piece of being an obliger. And putting other people first is, I think, that probably hurts your self-worth. Every time somebody says something to you you're thinking I really shouldn't do this, I should do blank for me. But then you end up doing it. I can imagine that has to take a little bit of the battery from the self-worth as my guess I can't imagine it's good for it.

Speaker 1:

Emilia and I did a relationship talks virtual event yesterday and at the event we were talking about guilt-free pleasures and I ended up saying tonight is going to be awesome. I can't wait. I have all my guilt-free pleasures Instead of guilty pleasures guilt-free and I'm going to go lift weights which I adore Crush a workout, we're going to get dominoes and we're going to watch the rest of the movie we're watching and I can't wait. I'm pumped.

Speaker 1:

After the event, emilia wanted to be loyal to herself and she's like, honestly, I'm cooked, I don't want to go to the gym. And I had that moment. I had that moment of I want to be with her, but I also want to go weight training. You can see it in my energy, you can feel it in my voice, like I really want to wait train. I'm not gonna eat pizza without weight training. I need to wait train in order to deserve this pizza. Like, pizza is very high carbs and I'm I. I don't want to let it go To waste. So I eat very strategically, like, of course, I get Domino's and I get pizza. I love pizza, just like anyone else, but I will not eat pizza unless I crushed workup and Kevin, I know you're similar to that way as well, like if you're gonna eat a crappy meal for lack of better phrasing it's gonna be going to your muscles mostly, right?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, that's the goal and that's the goal.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, obviously it's also going to my gut, but okay so. But here's my point. I had that moment where I wanted to oblige for sure. I want to go on a walk with Emilia, I want to spend the night with her. She honored her boundaries, she honored her goal, she honored herself and she stayed loyal to herself. And I stayed loyal to myself. I went to the gym listen to Bob Proctor crushed a workout is awesome and then eventually we synced up later.

Speaker 1:

I Think that All of us, at all times, have goals that we can stay loyal to or we can stay loyal to other people. It's very difficult to integrate those two and and I'm not saying that you can't, I'm not saying that you can't I did a Post yesterday about Emilia and I being 505 days in a row, or over 500. It's 506, I think, now, but I could never have done that without her. Now, could I theoretically have done that without her? Yes, but real talk, the reason why I was able to do that and never did it before. I've always wanted to work out every day I'm. For at least eight years, I've, like, genuinely thought about it. I've thought about why don't I work out every day it's exercise, like why wouldn't we just exercise every day the human body hunter gather, like we're we're able, we're able to exercise every day. So, anyways, this is my, my belief system, but I never manifested it until she got on board. I know why. I Know why because my loyalty to her is so damn high that I won't miss our loyalty to this podcast is so damn high that we won't miss and and Loyalty.

Speaker 1:

You got to choose who you're loyal to and what you're loyal to. I am loyal to, I know you. I'm loyal to this podcast. I'm loyal to Emilia. Right, if you're loyal to 8,000 things and 8,000 people, you are gonna lose yourself 1,000 percent. I've done it. Don't do it. Stay loyal to a few things. I'll share this one.

Speaker 1:

One last thing here Started the next level blog. We're at blog 7. The eighth one is coming out two weeks from now. I Said to Emilia I'm gonna write a blog every two weeks for the rest of my life. We just surpassed our 25th Virtual event, 25 months in a row. There's certain things I'm loyal to, but I'll tell you what. There's certain things that I have had to let go of my loyalty to. There are friends that I have let go of, because there's no way I can be loyal to 8,000 things, and so choose your loyalty wisely, I guess is what I would say. And if you're loyal to too many things, you're gonna always feel bad, you're gonna be breaking promises to yourself and others, you're gonna be spread too thin, and if you're loyal to too few things, you're going to be lost and directionless and you're going to feel like you need organization and structure, and I think all of us are constantly expanding and contracting in this whole thing.

Speaker 2:

I wonder if I had a kind of a breakthrough when you were talking. I remember obviously the business wasn't like it is today and we weren't doing seven episodes a week and we didn't have as many clients. But I remember I was dating someone and I would sleep over their house and I might get I don't know three, four hours of sleep. And this person lived like an hour away and I would get up at four o'clock. Every single time I stayed over there I would put my gym clothes on, I would take my pre-workout I do mobility, actually, no, I wouldn't do mobility. I drive home an hour. I do mobility I'd get ready and then I'd go to the gym with Matt at six. Every time I never missed, every time that was my, but that was where my loyalty was. My loyalty is to you because I'm coming over here and we're going to hang out, we're going to have fun, we're going to spend time together, we're going to bond quality time. But I have to stay loyal to. The reason you're actually attracted to me in the first place is because I'm loyal to the things that I've decided I need to accomplish.

Speaker 2:

When I used to work at that old job, everybody thought I was nuts and I probably was to a degree we would work. I remember this was the day before Thanksgiving, one of the years I was working there. We left the job at I don't know seven or eight at night. I remember I got to the office at 1.30 in the morning and I had my gym clothes andI went to the gym and I think I got home at three or four in the morning and then I got up at eight or nine and I went down to Thanksgiving with my family and everybody's like why did you do that?

Speaker 2:

It's like I love that. I love that I'm loyal to the goals. I want to be in better shape. I wonder how transparently if that's why I fell off on fitness, because I knew I couldn't be loyal to everything at once. The way I'm training now is I'm tracking every calorie. I have not missed a single day of mobility. I have exercised in the gym weight training 99% of the time, every single day for the last month heavy Well, I think you're a lot more realistic than I am about this.

Speaker 1:

I try to stay loyal to a lot of things, and a lot of times I end up in this place where I feel like I'm like right now I'm kind of there, I feel like I'm doing everything fairly well, but not any one thing like really well For me.

Speaker 1:

That bothers me to my core. I also think that it's part of the growth journey to overflow your plate and then see how much you can eat and then eventually realize and you eventually play it into level. I digress, though. When you were loyal to that morning so you would sleep over that person's house, you'd get up at 4 AM every single time you'd go do mobility and get your gym clothes on and then you'd go to the gym at 6 with Matt. Can you talk about how that inspired Matt later and how you didn't realize Because I think that's the other cool part of this your loyalty to your goal actually rubbed off on him, which is, I think that's a big part of why I do what I do.

Speaker 1:

The 500, you know, exercise every day. It's not about me. I want to show what's possible. I feel it's not just about me. There's so many other people doing it, it's so cool. I know that I would have wanted, when I struggled to work out consistently, to see someone who also did that. It's like there's something about inspiring others that makes it more meaningful and then, therefore, you're more likely to follow through too. It's like this win-win Not only do you get to inspire other people, but you also have more. Why power in yourself. Matt ended up telling you that that changed his life maybe in a small way, maybe in a big way, but I remember that conversation.

Speaker 2:

Well, we later Matt, became more of an entrepreneur than he was at the time. At the time, he had goals of being a real estate investor and intentions of being a real estate investor and then, since then, he's really gone in. He left his job, he's doing all the stuff and we were having a heart-to-heart one night and he said that he's like dude, I never understood how you got up every single day and I would come out and you always get up. You went to bed after me and you got up before me. Almost every time You'd be out doing mobility, you'd already have journaled, you would have a TED Talk or something on YouTube and you'd be learning every day. I never understood how you did that, but that always motivated me to get up. I was like I appreciate that and I'm very grateful. That's what I thought I had to do. That's what I thought I had to do. I want to stay loyal to the goals. I want to stay loyal to the journey.

Speaker 2:

Tim and I had a conversation last time. I was over there and we were talking about boundaries and I said dude, you know how bad it sucked for me when we'd be playing Call of Duty and 10 o'clock would roll around and I'd be like all right, man, I'm going to go to bed. Like I know you got pissed at me. I know you did Understandably. I mean, we were probably hanging out and having a good time playing Call of Duty, it might have been a Friday.

Speaker 2:

It might have been a Friday night yeah, it might have been a Friday, but I got a podcast on Saturday that I have to stay loyal to the goals. If you, the second, you are disloyal to your goals, your goals are disloyal to you because they don't care that you got to do what it takes to get the goal. So that's always been. I was on a podcast yesterday and we were talking about that. She's like she said why, why didn't you ever quit? And I said I know, I don't know, I don't, I don't as much as I wanted to. I wanted to figure it out more than I ever wanted to quit. I wanted to stay loyal to what we were doing and there's also a sick part of me that likes to suffer and I don't know. That's a weird thing and we'll get into that, maybe in another episode, but I'm very focused on that. I'm very focused on what is in alignment with that. Now, here's the bet, here's the juggling act balance, harmonization, whatever you want to call it.

Speaker 2:

There are times in my mind where I'm running. My health has been crushin' it. It's been amazing. Business is going really, really, really well. Okay, I need to pour more into my relationship.

Speaker 2:

So next week we're traveling, not next week, two weeks from today, we're traveling to Philadelphia Sorry, pittsburgh for a speech. Then we have a regular week and then the next week, I think, I'm going to Vermont, to Taryn's family's house for a couple days. But that's based on the fact that I haven't done anything this year with her. Really, I haven't done much. We've had date days and stuff like that. But I know she wants to go away, I know she loves Vermont. So in my mind it's like okay, I'm not being as loyal to my relationship as I need to. How do I work that in? And then we're going to Belgium a month later. So that's happening. But that's always going on in my mind at the same time. But here's the other thought I'm also thinking when I'm in Vermont, how do I remain loyal to the business? So you'll see me posting content, you'll see me doing stuff and I'll be thinking about money.

Speaker 1:

It's a lot of that stuff's behind the scenes, but yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

I'm still going to be working right. Thursday, friday, saturday, I'm going to be up there for three days, four days. I'll still be working. It's just a little bit different. So it's a hard, it's a challenging thing. It's a challenging thing because, to your point, when you're loyal to something, oftentimes it seems like you're just loyal to other things.

Speaker 1:

I'll never forget the last thing I'll share. I had a coach once. His name was Alex and the best coach I've ever had hands down, and the reason why, in hindsight, he was so good is because he told me the hard truths I didn't want to hear and that's what I try to be, and some people love that and some people do not. But he told me Alan, you have all these goals and dreams. You've got like eight or nine big ones where any one of those is a full-time life. It was professional fitness model, like all these different things. He said, just hypothetically, if you could only do one of them, and I said no, no, no, I'm doing them all my naive mid-twenties type of thing. And he's like no, no, no, just hypothetically. Hypothetically, if you could only do one, which one would you pick? This changed my life, kev. So much this conversation.

Speaker 1:

I've done this with clients in the past and I wrote out all my dreams. I said it's the podcast. If I could only pick one, it would be the podcast. And he said why. I said first of all I don't need permission from some event coordinator for me to go practice my craft. I want to get better at speaking. I can just do that with Kev. I don't need to go get permission. We podcast as much as we want. So that's number one. I get to master my craft. Number two we're inspiring so many people. We have listeners reaching out. It was early in those days but, believe it or not, we had a lot of people reaching out.

Speaker 2:

We did, yeah, we did.

Speaker 1:

Who knew? I don't know what we were doing differently, but I like it.

Speaker 1:

Small talks Today we're going to define discipline. You know brutal, but anyways, and I said it's so fulfilling, kevin and I got a good thing going. It's so fulfilling. We're impacting people on master, my craft every day. It's so fulfilling. It would be the podcast. He said here's the cheat code If you go all in on loyalty with that one, you can have all the rest. And I'm telling you that's what I did, that's what I did, dude. After that it was all podcast. We went all in.

Speaker 1:

And now look at all the other stuff we do. I wanted to be a professional speaker. I want to be a professional fitness model. I want to be a professional, you know. I want to be a fitness coach. I want to be all these things. I am a coach, I'm a consultant, I'm all these other things. But it's because we went all in on one day. It's because we went all in on one thing.

Speaker 1:

So if you're out there and you're spread too thin, there's a book called essentialism that helps you understand that you're going to be able to do a couple things in life really well. And this is where the rocking chair thing comes in, of like, when you're 80 years old and you're in your rocking chair like what are you going to look back on? That made the biggest difference. Is it going to be the random barbecue that you went with some high school friend? It's not going to be what you remember. Maybe it is. Maybe it is for you, I don't know. For me it's not. For me it's going to be. What did we do with this one magnificent life, like the body of work, the podcast, the going all in on a couple things and doing them magnificently, is going to be so much more meaningful than spreading yourself so thin with tons of different people's and places, things and ideas, doing everything mediocre and feeling average.

Speaker 1:

You know, being a wandering generality. That's what I talk about Meaningful, specific and wandering generality. I was a wandering generality in college. I was. I had too many friends, too many people, too many parties and too many courses and I was doing too many things. I was a wandering generality. I didn't know who I was. I lost myself 100%. And now I'm a meaningful, specific and I have less friends. I have significantly less friends, okay.

Speaker 1:

I do right, but but I'm having a way bigger impact. So you gotta choose and hopefully you can find your own sweet spot.

Speaker 2:

Have you one today. Have you other than I expected. Same as these, but something I wish I I think I unconsciously understood this, but I don't know if I was really in control of the practice. So something I wish I understood more deeply earlier in life.

Speaker 1:

for sure, I think your pessimism helped in this, because you didn't believe you could accomplish a ton, so you knew you had to really stay loyal to the thing. You know what.

Speaker 2:

I mean I like, but there's, there's a I'm very certain to driven. I like consistency. I told Taren the other day I like getting up at 5.30 Saturday, saturday, sunday, I like it. I get up, it's, I know what I'm doing. I'm going to the gym. I got time to do mobility, like I. I just enjoy that. I'm a simple. I'm a simple creature when it comes to the habits like that. I just I get home at seven o'clock and I've already worked out. I've already done mobility. I've already checked off a lot of the stuff. I enjoy that. So that's part of it too.

Speaker 1:

I have that as a huge advantage, man, Definitely Later on in life. I think we'll reflect on that, and if you're out there listening and you, you wonder how we stay so consistent with so many things. Kevin and I are very simple.

Speaker 2:

We don't need like.

Speaker 1:

I'm very fulfilled doing very little. You know I can do the same thing over and, over and over again. So if you don't resonate with that, that's okay. Just just try to be more consistent. You don't have to be as consistent as we are, or as simple either. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2:

But that's the thing. What Taren has really helped me do is expand my horizons to do stuff I normally wouldn't do, same how many. How many of the foods that I love now I had never had and convinced myself I hated. There's a long list of them. We have a running joke, right that that's helped me.

Speaker 1:

That's gonna be bone in chicken to the kid.

Speaker 2:

No, the bone in chicken will never happen. All right, I gotta go because I have a podcast call right after this Next Love of the Nation. If you are listening to this and you resonated with what we said today and you're looking for a community who also is trying to think this way and is okay with setting boundaries and okay with staying in alignment and desires to stay loyal to their goals, please join our private Facebook group Next Love of the Nation. The link will be in the show notes.

Speaker 1:

Okay. So I am devastated that we might not have my book winning the poll. My book, as if I wrote it. No, the book that I want to win. I've been wanting this to win for the longest time, but it's about the community, it's not about me.

Speaker 1:

High Performance Habits by Brennan Bershard currently has I don't know what 30% of the vote. Limitless by Jim Quick is currently in the lead. Your Aronius Zones by Dr Wayne Dyer very first book, one of the first books I should say, that I ever recommended to Kev. Indistractable by Nir Eyal. Again, how to Stay Focused. Peak Performance by Brad Stilberg, if you do join. Next, love of the Nation to Kevin's recommendation. Just now there is a poll at the very top it's featured, and we have two more chapters left in how Emotions Are Made, and then we will be starting a new book and book club and we really, really hope that you vote and join us. Please vote for High Performance Habits, dr Bershard. No, vote for whatever book you feel most called to and we will pick the one that has the highest percentage.

Speaker 2:

Tomorrow for episode number 1,406. I'm excited to do this one. I think this one is long overdue. We've touched on this in the past, but we'll go deeper in this episode. One thing they don't tell you about manifesting. I've just come across so much content lately that has, I don't want to say, upset me, but I realize it's probably pointing many people in the wrong direction. So we will talk about that. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we do not have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Speaker 1:

Stay loyal to your dreams, next time on nation, bye.

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