Next Level University

#1407 - Some Of Our Most Valuable Traits Are The Ones We’re Most Scared Of…

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros reflect on how our actions and surroundings shape us and how we can use this insight to transform our lives. They talk about the tricky terrain of wanting to be liked and respected while being true to our authentic selves and the power of celebrating our wins. They discuss insecurities and self-value and stress that we can acknowledge and own our insecurities without letting them define us.

Links mentioned:
Book a FREE Breakthrough Session with Alan: https://bit.ly/3Wr6clL
Next Level U Book Club - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-book-club/

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Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

Email 💬
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Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

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Show notes:
[2:01] Kevin tried to be someone he wasn't
[13:31] Be the best version of yourself
[19:45] Eddie expresses his satisfaction with Alan's support in his and his business' growth through the Next Level Business Solutions
[20:25] You won't be successful without hard work
[26:52] We think more about our insecurities than others do
[29:13] What do you value about yourself?
[35:04] Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Speaker 1:

Test test test Hello, test test test. Good, all right, turn my camera on and we should have a good twimmy OK.

Speaker 2:

Yep.

Speaker 1:

Let me know as soon as you're ready, because I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready to roll. All right, you know what you're plugging Good Yep as soon as it goes on.

Speaker 2:

Trying to make a dog with my fingers, but I don't know how to do it. Wouldn't worry too much about it. I am very worried about it. It's my next Occupation. Hmm, camera, fan, camera, camera, finger puppet. Next level nation.

Speaker 2:

Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we teach you how to level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed our latest episode, episode number one thousand four hundred and six. One thing they don't tell you about manifesting. It was somewhat of a hardcore episode, but again, at the end of the day, I want to make sure that you are achieving the level of success, whatever that means to you in your life, and I felt that was a necessary episode to do today. For episode number one thousand four hundred and seven.

Speaker 2:

Some of our most valuable traits are the ones we're most scared of. Was on a podcast the other day and we were talking about it was an amazing podcast that reminded me I have to email the host and we were talking about my story and the old job I used to have and how several times in my life I have gotten opportunities, and the people said it's because of your personality. You have a really good personality and I feel like you're a positive energy and I think for a while I forgot how important that was and I tried to be something that I wasn't. Alan and I interviewed Steven Kotler. Steven Kotler wrote. He's written many books, but the book that I had read most previously to us interviewing him was called the Art of Impossible and we interviewed him about that and about flow and all these other things. And there was a moment during that interview where I was like I am way out of my league here. Alan and Steven Kotler just they're like best buds. And I could tell Steven kind of thinks I'm a little bit of an idiot, because one of my questions was what is your opinion of something about flow? And he's like, well, there really is no opinions. I mean, it's just like science, the way it works. I was like, well, okay, that's a swing and a miss for the kid.

Speaker 2:

But I had a moment during that episode where I said you know what I'm not going to try to be and I should probably listen back. But I remember having internally I'm not going to listen back. I remember having internally where I said I'm just going to be me, I'm just going to be funny. Kev, who admits that he doesn't really know what's going on. And for a long time I thought I had to be the expert on everything and have every single question perfect. And yes, I want to get better and I'm focused on mastery and getting better and getting better, but not having to switch my, to switch the positive parts of my personality to do that Right. I've worked a lot of my character and there's some parts of my personality I got rid of completely because it probably wasn't serving me. But there are also other parts that I love and I've gotten really good feedback on. So that's where I came up with the thought for this episode.

Speaker 2:

Some of our most valuable traits are the one we're most scared of.

Speaker 2:

I was afraid to be more myself because I thought the guests would not think I was valuable. I thought Alan wouldn't think I was smart. I thought you, if you're watching or listening, would think I didn't know what the hell I'm talking about. And I was talking to somebody the other day and I said one of the reasons I love going on podcasts is because I could just be myself. Now I don't really have to put on a show or put on a mask. This is just who I am I talk about right now.

Speaker 2:

I'm wearing best cat dad ever shirt. That's what I'm wearing right now and I'll go on shows and I show my. I have a cat coaster. I show the cat coaster all the time. It's just like I don't know. I feel comfortable being who I am and for a long time that was the thing that made me the most intimidated or I was the most afraid of, and that interview really broke something loose for me, because it it forced me to just lean into who I was and stopped trying to pretend I was somebody that I wasn't. Now disclaimer of course I'm always going to try to get smarter and learn more about that stuff. That's not the point. The point is in that example I was trying to be something I wasn't. Rather than just saying you know what, let me just lean into who I am as a person, because I've been told many times that's a valuable thing to be.

Speaker 1:

So for the longest time and Kev has articulated this on many episodes for our new listeners, I'll rearticulate it For the longest time, years, kev was doing what he believed he had to do to be successful totally understandable. And what he believed he had to be or do to be successful was be more like me and there was some validity to that Get more organized, be more structured, track some habits Right. There's some parts of that. That was true and, quite frankly, kevin wouldn't have gotten to where he is today if he didn't adopt a lot of those things. But how do you adopt those things and stay you?

Speaker 1:

One of our early peers. His name is Anthony Trucks and he had a quote that I will never forget. He wrote a book based on this quote, actually called identity shift. Excellent book, excellent book. He said what you create creates you. I think what you shoot for creates you. I think who you surround yourself with creates you. I think the work you do in the world creates you. I think what you say, think, do, feel and believe all have to be shaped and molded based on your goals, core values and core beliefs and the people you surround yourself with, which is core community.

Speaker 1:

Now, that being said pre Stephen Coller interview, which was a huge breakthrough for Kevin and I, because we both realized more of who we were. Prior to that, kevin was trying to be more like me, more like Stephen Coller. The deeper root underneath this is, I think, kev, you had a and I would love your verbalization of this, but I think you had a moment of. I'm not ever going to be like that to the extent that they're like that and so I had studied neuroscience for years and peak performance, and obviously Stephen Coller is a. All of his books are about peak performance and neuroscience, success and how to do the impossible. I've been studying how to do the impossible my entire life.

Speaker 1:

Even sharing that is scary for me. Even sharing that is scary for me. I've always wanted to do something that's never been done. Of course I'm going to know more about that. Right, just like Kevin was always good at relationships, always focused on relationships, of course you're going to be better at that. That's okay. How can I take the parts of Kevin that are magnificent, learn from those, adopt those, figure out how they're unique to me? Why can't Kevin do the same with me? Why can't we all? Why can't we all learn from everyone in terms of warnings and examples and how do we not lose ourselves in this growth journey? And so, prior to Stephen Kotler, kevin was trying to be more like me.

Speaker 1:

After Stephen Kotler, he was basically like screw it, I'm not gonna be like Alan at all and he swung the pendulum the whole other way and then I had a mini freak out where I said I'm scared to outgrow you because, yeah, maybe you shouldn't try to be like me, but you definitely have to do something. I gotta do some work. You could do some work.

Speaker 2:

That was the call of duty days. There's a lot of video games being played. At that point you leaned right back, full reversion. I didn't know. I didn't know you wanna talk about an identity crisis. What do you do when you realize the person you're trying to become is not the person you wanna be? That's like I talk about an identity crisis, right, and not that I don't wanna be Alan, but there's just. It wouldn't serve me. I'm not supposed to be exactly like Alan. Can you go through what?

Speaker 1:

that was like for our listeners.

Speaker 2:

The whole process.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, cause I think part of you realized you couldn't be. That was another piece of it too. I think I've always known that.

Speaker 2:

I just think in that moment it was almost like I think I wonder if that was the first time you ever understood at the level I understood that I'm never gonna be like you.

Speaker 1:

I don't think I understood at all what. I've been still trying to figure out what I am and who I am, and yeah.

Speaker 2:

Ever since you and I started from the first time. You and I reconnected in 20, probably 2016,. I think we reconnected right 2015, 2016.

Speaker 1:

The swimming to the dock drunk at 3 am, I almost drowned. That was a rather good idea. Dumb I dumb idea.

Speaker 2:

I would punch that version of Kevin in the throat Like dude, come on. First of all, you sink like a rock. Second of all, you're not a good swimmer. Third, you're hammered. Don't try to swim out to the dock. This is like not serving you here. This is not a good idea.

Speaker 1:

I made it, I'm here.

Speaker 2:

But from I would have saved you. I appreciate that very much. I probably would have fought you by accident. You know, I probably would have pushed away.

Speaker 2:

Save yourself. From the time you and I reconnected, I've been trying to be more like you, like what books do I read, how do I track habits, what do I need to know about money? So, yeah, I mean I've pretty much spent the last up until that point. It was every day trying to be more like Alan and then listening to the book, studying, taking notes, figuring out the questions I wanted to ask. Then the interview it was just like I don't. That was a really interesting interview for me because I knew I could tell I was like I'm not being me. Right now I'm almost afraid to be me, like I'm supposed to be the one who's not as smart and again, I don't mean that as beat up Kevin, like that's.

Speaker 2:

If we were doing a different podcast, it would be like the genius and the comedian If we were naming it right. There's a podcast out there called the Fighter and the Kid. The fighter is he used to be a professional fighter and the kid he acts like a kid. He's a 40-something year old man. I don't know. I don't know where they came up with their name, but for you and I it would be like the scientist and the comedian, or the genius and the comedian. That's always how I've wanted to be, but I never thought I could be. And the other and the thing that's been very impactful for me out is I'm going on all these other shows and you're not around. So it's like I just, I don't know, I'm gonna say whatever. I think there's no back and forth. It's like what I say is what I'm gonna say and I'm gonna do my best to add value and I'm gonna try to make people laugh and I'm just gonna be real. I'm gonna keep it simple. That's been the journey for me is just okay. This is what I've learned. How do I pour that into Kevin and then not change Kevin? It's like adding food coloring to a drink. You're not changing the drink, you're changing the color of the drink and then maybe you add a different color. It's like, oh, now it's a different color, but it's the same drink, it's the same liquid and the same container. That's how I'm trying to think of it is.

Speaker 2:

I've learned so many things, but there are parts of me I don't ever wanna leave behind. I don't ever not wanna be able to make people laugh. I don't ever wanna not be able to crack a joke. I don't wanna be the serious one on the team, right? I don't. Somebody asked me. I don't know if I said this. Somebody asked me on a podcast recently. They said would you rather be liked or respected? I said liked, 100%, 100%. I'd rather be liked because that's who I am and I do believe if you like me, you will respect me. I do. I don't know why it has to be one or the other. I don't know who came up with that question. I feel like it's very pessimistic.

Speaker 1:

I think you can be both. I think you can optimize for both.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, well, I'm optimized for being liked.

Speaker 1:

If you don't respect me please like me. You're definitely more liked than me, for sure, I think unconsciously, maybe not as respected, I don't know.

Speaker 2:

Well, if you're, you and I are doing it the right way, if I'm doing it the way I want to, you know that.

Speaker 1:

I I did a trip how I spent the beginning wanting to be more liked and dialing myself down and you dialed yourself up to try to be more respected and then, after Steven Kotler, we both were kind of like I just-.

Speaker 2:

I've been more. This is my belief. I've been more respected lately because I've just been myself. I have so many amazing people that reach out to me and ask me for stuff and they're. I get so many kind words and it's just like I appreciate. I'm just being me. Thank you, I thank you so much. I appreciate the fact that you value that. I just want to be me.

Speaker 1:

I want to be me when I For something to do that you are the hardest thing in the world. I'm serious. It's for our listeners. The people say just be yourself. I know, thank you.

Speaker 2:

I know, I know.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for the fortune cookie quote of just be yourself. All of us, first of all, be the best version of yourself, and it's like, okay, well, who is the best version of me, and can I better my best?

Speaker 2:

You know, it's like how many, how many?

Speaker 1:

I knew you'd go there.

Speaker 2:

Of course I have to.

Speaker 1:

It's so difficult to be the best version of yourself. To go back to the original part of this episode what are your favorite parts of you? That's?

Speaker 2:

a great question to ask. It is. It is a great question and you've got to answer it confidently. That's where it's hard. A lot of people have probably said, hey, don't own your greatness. There are a lot of things about you that other people aren't going to give you credit on because it makes them insecure or they've been raised in another situation where you're not allowed to own your wins.

Speaker 2:

Some of the sweetest people I've ever met think that's a bad thing, Like that's not, that's wonderful. You're wonderful. You're a wonderful human. You're a wonderful human being, I know. But this is how different you and I are. When you were saying, I thought you were going to say you can better your best and then you can better your better best and you can best the better, best of the betterness.

Speaker 1:

I thought you were going to say that that's what you mean, man. I thought you were going to say that she's a thousand levels.

Speaker 2:

This was my natural thought was this Of course, it's hard to be yourself, because when you're somebody else and you get hurt, you don't have to own it because it's not real. But when you get hurt as yourself, it's personal. That was me. That was what I wanted to be. That's why I think that.

Speaker 1:

Steven Coller thing. I appreciate that.

Speaker 2:

I don't know if I've ever connected that fully. I am always thinking of weird stuff. It's all the time that's like a weird thought for me, but I like it.

Speaker 1:

That's a unique one, for sure. I had never thought of that you do sometimes think of things I don't think of.

Speaker 2:

Of course I'm frustrating. I'm not the man when it comes to some things and other things. I'm not the man.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes it's because why would you ever think of that? No, I'm good, I think I'll never, ever forget this. When Kev's like you ever realize you just get on a plane and you've never met the pilot and you just get on and say, okay, take off.

Speaker 2:

You don't ever meet them. Yeah, you don't even know what they look like.

Speaker 1:

You never shake their hand, nothing.

Speaker 2:

I always try to say thank you at the end, because usually the pilots will have the door open.

Speaker 1:

I always try to say thank you because. I'm with the stewardess or flight attendants.

Speaker 2:

Anyone of you could be flying this thing. I wouldn't even know. I have no idea who's behind that door. It could be any of you, so I appreciate you, thank you for doing your job well and getting us here safely.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I want to bring this to. So you said, when you are yourself and then you get hurt, it hurts more because it's who you really are. Yeah, you can take it personal because it's personal.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's part of why none of us are our full selves with people. I would say it is because it's so vulnerable to be your full self and then get criticized, because if you're I think a lot of that's unconscious. If you're a different version and then you get criticized, it's like wow, that wasn't the whole me anyway, or like you know.

Speaker 2:

I didn't try. It's not that big of a deal that I failed. I didn't try that hard. The baked in Excuse, the baked in thing of well, if it doesn't go well, at least I didn't give it my all. I think the identity is like that too, okay what pre-Steven Kotler that version of Kev?

Speaker 1:

do you think there was a protector that was Like I don't want to go through the IFS, internal family systems and all that stuff? I'm trying to keep this as simple as possible, but powerful. You were not vulnerable, essentially.

Speaker 2:

I think I thought I was vulnerable because I would talk about things that other people wouldn't. But I wasn't necessarily vulnerable from the place. The episode we just did was a very vulnerable place for me. The episode about manifestation that was very vulnerable for me because I'm terrified people are not going to like me after saying that.

Speaker 1:

But what if you admitted that? Well, that's what I've come to realize is I agree and I'm sorry to interrupt you, I'm not Okay. I want to share this. We did a relationship talks, virtual event. I'm not scared that I can't communicate this. I had never heard the content before. Emilia creates the content, we align on it, we have a vision, we wipe board and then she creates the slides. I literally and you know the deal 20 minutes prior, I'm like, let me. I review the slides and I'm like, okay, good, good, get rid of this one, get rid of this one. Do, do, do, do, do, good, good, good, get rid of this one. You've seen me do that a thousand times and then I present it.

Speaker 1:

I'm not scared of my performance. I know I'm going to do really well. I'm scared to steamroll the whole thing and then have her be upset with me. It's my. For some people it would be vulnerable to have 20 minutes to prep and then they're afraid they're going to fail and suck. I'm not afraid to suck. That's not vulnerable for me.

Speaker 1:

I like sucking. It's all good. I suck all the time. It's not fear. I don't have any fear around sucking. My fear is actually outshining. My fear is Kevin being upset that I did so much better than he did and then him and my relationship suffering because of it. I'm fearful of coming off as arrogant and being disliked and having people not like me. I'm fearful of the audience thinking I steamrolled Emilia and didn't give her a chance to speak up. I'm not afraid to suck. That's not a so.

Speaker 1:

A lot of people's vulnerability is actually like oh, I don't feel like I'm going to be good enough. I don't think I'm going to be capable enough, right, I don't have that. Whatever that is, that's not a thing for me. What I'm scared of is definitely coming off as arrogant, being disliked, sharing uncomfortable truths with other people that I know will help them, but they'll villainize me, because you either have to villainize me and or villainize my, what I'm sharing, or you have to kind of look in the mirror a lot of times, like if I say you won't be successful without hard work, it's a big mirror, because if you're not hardworking, you have to either say screw Allen and what he just said, or look in the mirror and go. You know what? Maybe I'm a little bit lazy and honestly, you might be lazy. I don't know Right, but that's very possible. I'm lazy all the time, seriously Like compared to what I should be to get to my goals. I'm like pretty lazy.

Speaker 2:

It's alarming. As your business partner, I'm out here crushing it, son, but again based on your own standard.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, no, it's funny.

Speaker 2:

I needed the funny thing, because I saw you. It's vulnerable, you're looking off at the distance.

Speaker 1:

You know why it's vulnerable for me to share that. Because if I think I'm lazy, I think other people are gonna think I think they're lazy. No, no, no, no. I'm putting me up against a much higher bar based on my goals. If you had the goals I have, yes, I would consider you lazy for sure. If you had the exact same goals as me, kev, you're immediately not hardworking enough. Do you know what I mean? There's a reason I don't Right and I don't think I'm ever able to articulate all that, but what I wanna bring home to the listeners is that it is the most vulnerable place to be yourself, and I think it's because of what you just said, because when you're yourself and you're not accepted or you're rejected, it cuts that deepest wound of whatever my stepdad didn't like me or my mom didn't approve, or whatever it is for you, for whoever like in high school, when you were laughed at, not accepted, I decided very young that being smarter than other people was a bad thing and at some point I have to just own it right.

Speaker 1:

I mean, I can't spend the rest of my life saying, oh, I wish I was smarter, you know like it's just not. I don't get to be me. I am smart, that's okay, of course you know. But it's so vulnerable to say that. If I say I'm dumb, that's not vulnerable at all. That's like totally yeah, I'm so stupid, I do stupid stuff all the time. That's see how. There's no. But if I say I'm brilliant, I'm like wildly intelligent and I always have been and it's always been a real hurtful thing for me when it comes to my relationships, because I've very rarely been in a relationship with anyone friends or family or intimate that are even close that is like don't say that. My whole, every protector I've got, is like no, no, that no, but I just, I'm so sick and tired of hiding.

Speaker 1:

I'm so sick and tired of hiding. I'm so done with it, kev, and I hope you are too, man, and hopefully all our listeners can just kind of be careful. You know it can be dangerous, like you are gonna get attacked and villainized. I mean, we have a lot. The more I've shined, the more I've gotten love, but the more I've been attacked too, and I think that that's the hero's journey. That's how you become the hero of your own story.

Speaker 2:

I would go back to the original thing of what do you? My next level nugget would be stealing yours. What do you love about yourself? What are the valuable traits Like? What are those there? You have some.

Speaker 2:

There's nobody out there who doesn't have some really awesome valuable traits. I mean, everybody has them. Everybody has something, just like everybody has negative traits. Everybody has something. You always say what is it? An example and a warning?

Speaker 2:

So there's something that you have that is valuable. Are you running from it and have you convinced yourself that it's not good, it's not valuable, it's not safe, it's not good for you? People aren't gonna like it, cause that's. The other thing, too, is, if that's who you are, at some point you do have to lean into it. We were just gonna go through your life pretending to be somebody else and nobody's ever really gonna like you anyway. Because you're gonna pretend to be somebody else, you can't my favorite. I said this on a podcast the other day. I was like I probably sound pretty ignorant or pretty arrogant, cause I'm always saying one of my favorite quotes and then it's something I made. Does that sound arrogant? And then she was laughing hysterically. She was like no, and I was like I don't know. I think you're probably very, you're a very safe place. I bet you other people probably think I'm pretty arrogant.

Speaker 1:

One of my favorite quotes of all time was what I said.

Speaker 2:

I believe I said it back in 2000. I believe it was 1976 in my inaugural address. What were we talking about before?

Speaker 1:

You were talking about be yourself.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, the only way to find your people is to be yourself. That's it. The only way to find your people is to be yourself. If you're pretending to be somebody else, you're gonna find other people pretending to be somebody else and you'll never actually be valued for who you are, because you kinda gotta knock around the dust of who you are and say, oh you know what? I don't really like that about me, Let me change that. But you'll never get the opportunity to change or lean into this stuff if you don't actually practice it. That's my next love and nugget all of that.

Speaker 1:

Last layer. Yeah, what Kev happens if you look at something you don't like about yourself and you realize that you can't change it?

Speaker 2:

Like maybe in five foot, whatever, depending on the day, five foot three, five foot four, Depending on your self-esteem at the time.

Speaker 1:

I used to say I think I used to try to say five, six.

Speaker 2:

I actually think I thought I was that height and then I remember I think I measured myself and I was hmm, interesting, I can't be right. This thing must be bent. I think you just gotta own it. You just gotta own it. This is the thing. And again, I talk about my height because that's one of my biggest insecurities. I don't have a ton of insecurity, but that's one of them. Worst case scenario somebody listens to this episode, reaches out and says hey, you're short. It's like no, no, I know that's what I was saying. I was actually saying the same exact thing on the podcast. It's the same exact thing. I said the same thing you're saying. You're just trying to hurt me with it. How?

Speaker 1:

hard was it for you to post that photo of me, you and Matt, because Matt and I are both six foot, whatever.

Speaker 2:

Not as hard as it would have been.

Speaker 1:

When was the time in your life where you never could have posted that?

Speaker 2:

Oh man, at the beginning of this journey, it would have been really. No, it would have been really hard. I still would have done it. I mean, I have pictures of you and I from the very beginning, remember, there's a picture of you and I in my kitchen in New Hampshire with slippers on. Like that was.

Speaker 1:

I never even noticed that.

Speaker 2:

I do Well, because you're looking down. I'm looking up. Your neck strains a lot more when you're looking up than when you're looking down. That's a pair, so it's meant. You probably wouldn't notice.

Speaker 1:

But I think a lot of the insecurities that we all share or all have I should say not that we share, but I think we think about them way more than other people do- I think that's why insecurities are the deepest.

Speaker 2:

insecurities are so challenging is because you go through your whole life trying to get around them and hoping nobody else notices them, so you're always thinking about them.

Speaker 1:

You're always thinking about them, and then, when you ruminate on them, they get worse. You just think Instead of accepting it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's like I wonder if does Alan? I don't know, is Alan gonna be weirded out like when I hug him? He's gonna have to bend down like that. You're? I think you just obsess over it.

Speaker 1:

Never once remember I told you about my nose being crooked. Yeah, and you were like I never thought about that once. Yeah, I was like I don't. I think last thing I'm doing is a thousand times measuring your nose is perfectionist, like I don't.

Speaker 2:

Whatever man, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1:

Can you speak into a microphone or not?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah cool, don't worry about anything else, I Don't. If you something you can't change, it's something you got to own. But that takes time. I again, I want to do a better job, forever based on our episode about manifestation, of saying there, there is no overnight thing. You're not just gonna say I, you know what, I have any security, I'm gonna get over it. Sure, you can say I'm gonna get over it and then you can start the process, but that that's. It takes time, it takes a lot of time. I still have moments of insecurity in the gym where you know I'll walk by somebody and they're like 6, 5 and it's like I wonder if that person thinks they could eat me. You know, I have those thoughts and it's it's funny to joke about, but I do. I have those thoughts. I Don't know. I don't know if that'll ever I don't think that's ever gonna fully go away. No amount of money, no partner, no home, no success. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

I don't know if it'll ever go away, doesn't fully go away. I think it gets better and I think that the other piece you can do is you can realize that a lot of the things that you've built Strengths like being being in really good shape. Of course, that was an overcorrection to you being short. For sure, because when a 6 foot 5 person comes by, they're not gonna think I could eat you, they're gonna think holy crap.

Speaker 2:

This is jacked, unless they're jacked to, and let's their jack to each case. Could eat me. Yeah, the rock could eat me. If you want to see what's your next love and nugget. We got to go.

Speaker 1:

You said you said yes, 20 minutes true, true, and my camera is about to die. Yes, my next level nugget is this Sit down and ask yourself what you really do value about yourself. That's what I said, and and that was my next level nugget, I'm not done.

Speaker 1:

And from the frame of I want to pretend no one else exists. Just for a moment, I want to pretend no one else exists and I want to just ask myself, from this current version right, the stuff I valued about myself when I was in fifth grade is Different than the stuff I value about myself now. So reassess what do I value about me now? Write those things down. Not what other people value, not what your mom valued, or your dad or your grandma or grandpa, not what the world values. What do you value most? And what I think you'll find is what one of my clients found, which is those are the things you're actually gonna have to dial up, not down, in order to achieve your dreams. And a lot of insecure people do want us to dial those things down because that makes them uncomfortable. Kevin leaning into the fact that he can get jacked really easily. Of course it's gonna make anyone who's insecure about about bodybuilding.

Speaker 2:

I don't know if I would say it's easy, I still to put in a lot of work. No, no, I know some of my credit here. No, no, but you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

It's definitely I mean dude you. You brought it back what it's been three weeks and you're like looks like a bodybuilder again.

Speaker 2:

Come on, it's been longer than three weeks. How long I'm a dieting? I Was dieting before I got my surgery.

Speaker 1:

Not seriously though definitely seriously really mm-hmm. Okay. Well, sorry to devalue your.

Speaker 2:

No, it's okay, it is a must statistically, my genetics are very good, definitely for bodybuilding, for about not for being in the NBA.

Speaker 1:

No, I'm probably not, probably not, but that's that's what I would say is that the things that you really value about yourself most, if you really Sat down with it, you probably have to dial those up if you want to be fulfilled. You can't be fulfilled when you're not being yourself, which is why we got to do it. We got to do it. We got to let that light shine we got to do.

Speaker 2:

That was the longest next level nugget ever of all Time. That was a whole.

Speaker 1:

Hey, I'm leaning to me, I'm long wind. What do you? Where do you get nuggets?

Speaker 2:

nuggets from. That was the whole chicken. I.

Speaker 1:

Chicken nuggets last night.

Speaker 2:

Just I had pizza last night. I also had pizza real quick before we go, you know. Do you say pop tart or pop tart, pop? I did a story about Pop tarts and I put the transcription on it said pop tart and I was like, oh no, it was very funny to me. I say pop tart. Evidently you do mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:

Oh, they spelled it wrong because you, because I.

Speaker 2:

I said it wrong. Yeah, it's not on them, it's on me. Okay, we're gonna go now. Next level nation. This is one of the best things that has ever happened, the most successful things we've ever done.

Speaker 2:

I've been talking a lot about doing free calls with Alan and every time I do, a bunch of people book on Alan's calendar. I love it because his calendar is filling up and he's getting overwhelmed with calls and it's great for me because he's actually doing something for the first time in a long time. No, I'm just kidding. He's getting to meet the community and again, that is that is what we've. We built this entire thing on and we wouldn't be able to do this without you. It would just be two guys talking to microphones with crickets. So if you are interested in connecting with Alan, we'll have the link in the show notes. You can bring questions, you can get advice, you can get career advice, you can ask him how to get as jacked as kevb, whatever. Honestly, whatever you're feeling you can bring to him, but they'll link. They'll link, believe, the show notes.

Speaker 1:

You know you have a lot of audacity on this. It's this is the longest Kevin's worked on a Saturday in years.

Speaker 2:

Outside of my window?

Speaker 1:

Yes, my consulting hours are every other Thursday from four to six, you know, but I also want to achieve all of my goals. Okay, book club is every Saturday at 12 30 pm, eastern Standard Time. We had, I think, 12 13 people in there today. It's awesome. The rule is no more emotions books for a little bit, because we did a Bernay Brown book dare to lead. Then we did cleaning up your mental mess by Dr Caroline leaf, and then we did how emotions are made by Lisa Feldman Barrett. No more emotions books for a little while. We all need a break.

Speaker 1:

So if you're in book club, you know what I'm talking about. So instead we have five options limit list by Jim quick, which is learning how to accelerate learning Cool. High performance habits by Brennan brashard Awesome. How to get the habits for success. Your erroneous zones by dr Wayne Dyer it is about Errors in thinking. Erroneous zones errors in your thinking Okay, indistractable by near yeah. How to stay focused in a noisy world. And then peak performance by Brad Stolberg, which is All things people for me. I don't have a good tagline for that last one, but if you vote for high performance habits, I will be thrilled. Right now, limit list by Jim quick is Ahead by quite a significant margin. So let's fix that. That's what I voted for even though I'm not attending.

Speaker 1:

I Think there's some rule or something, now the people need it people need.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's a good one. You've said I've never read the book where you said many things about it. And I've read, I've read high performance habits and you know it's good. It's good book, but they're all kind of the same.

Speaker 1:

Limit. I'm offended, they're not all the same. No, no, this is awesome, the habit books.

Speaker 2:

A lot of the habit books are very similar.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I don't look. Yeah, I've never written a book, so I can't imagine what's like. I'm not saying and I'm not saying anything negative, I'm just saying atomic habits, high performance habits. You've done atomic habits right, oh yeah.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, we already did the topic habits.

Speaker 2:

That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so vote for limit list by Jim quick. It is an excellent book. High performance habits is as well though it is.

Speaker 2:

I'm not saying it's not, I'm just saying I'm not saying what, I'm just saying. All right, we're gonna go that next level nation tomorrow for episode number 1408. What do your love languages say about you? I came across a very interesting post that said something about love languages that I've never heard before. We are gonna talk about that in tomorrow's episode. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We'll talk to you all tomorrow. Keep valuing yourself your true self.

Speaker 1:

Next sublination

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host