Next Level University

#1417 - One Feeling We ALL NEED

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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When did you last have that euphoric sense of achievement after a job well done? Today hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros talk about when and where we genuinely feel accomplished, and they delve into the heart of gratitude and fulfillment. Imagine setting a goal and embarking on an exhilarating journey to reach it. They discuss goal-setting and the exciting adventures it has sparked. They also talk about how it is not always about getting the goal but about your journey and what you learn along the way.

Links mentioned:
Book a FREE Breakthrough Session with Alan - https://bit.ly/3Wr6clL
Next Level Monthly Meetup #20: "Is Your Mental Health Hindering Your Growth?" on August 10, 2023, 06:00 PM EST - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/ 

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Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

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Show notes:
[2:12] Kevin cooks for their date night
[5:38] The feeling of accomplishment or fulfillment
[7:57] The job you have growth at
[11:58] Amanda shares how Alan made her feel valued and supported during their first consultation call and how she appreciates his holistic approach
[13:48] Measure what matters
[17:08] Being goal-oriented is not just about getting the goal
[20:12] The byproduct of doing things you don't really want to do
[24:01] Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Speaker 1:

Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we teach you how to level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed our latest episode, episode number 1416. When life knocks you down, what do you do today for episode number 1417? One feeling we all need. I have to say this every week. It's just the way it goes. We record all of our episodes on Monday. Yesterday was Sunday. I Got up, I went to the gym, I got home and Sundays are usually date days for my beautiful wife, tara and I, and I said okay, I have a couple thoughts. One I Can take you up to Portsmouth. Portsmouth, new Hampshire, a beautiful town on the water, is a lot to do there. You can walk around it's amazing. Or we can stay in and I will cook you dunch, we call it, we call Dinner dinner lunch?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I don't know. Is there another name for it?

Speaker 2:

people call it something, something never heard dunch before but well, that's Terrence and now I use it.

Speaker 1:

So now it is world famous because of her. So I said, well, we can stay, stay in, stay home and I'll cook you dutch. And she said that would be amazing. I want that. I don't really want to drive that far. You could cook me dunches, and what would you like? And she said steak. And I said no, nice, not gonna make steak, absolutely no, I don't like steak.

Speaker 1:

I'm not gonna make it. And she said I'd really like steak. I'd really like if you made me steak. And I said I will have a burger then and I'll make you steak. So then her, her dad, called a little while after that. She said you mind if pops comes over tonight.

Speaker 1:

Instantly the pressure went up. I'm just making steak for my wife now, making steak for my wife and my father-in-law. The pressure it nearly got to me. I said yes, yes, yes, have them over, I'll figure this out. So then I start looking up recipes. I gotta figure out what do I need. I got into chef mode, okay. So I go to the store. I get steak, I get. I got potatoes, I got seasoning, I got green beans, I got everything you need, all the stuff I got. Come home. All right, here we go. I put on music, I have myself a Guinness and I get to work. I Get to work the. If you don't know, you can do. If you're watching or listening, you probably know this, but you can do. Baked potatoes in the air fryer, okay, throw a little little olive oil on there on the skin, throw a little salt on there Half hour, flip them another 15, 20 minutes. It's the best thing ever. So I go through all this and I make the steak, make my burgers, make the green beans, make the the big potatoes.

Speaker 2:

And I serve hungry right now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I am too so I then I served it and Taran and her dad were like this is amazing, this is this steak is amazing. You crushed it, kev, and they said this this baked potatoes, amazing, these green beans they're all right, they're green beans, nothing against green beans, but there's only so much you can do them. And I had this overwhelming sense of accomplishment, which is very strange because I feel very accomplished very often because we get to do this and coaching calls and all that. I get a lot of accomplishment and I'm very grateful for that. But it was a different level of accomplishment for me.

Speaker 1:

I don't know why. I don't know if it's something that I've never done before. I've never been complimented on my cooking, ever of all time. Never, because I'm not I don't Identify, is very good at it. I don't do it. I don't do it very often, but I do believe that is one feeling we all need is accomplishment. What's the difference between a job that sucks and a job that is hard but meaningful? I would argue that the job that is hard but meaningful has accomplishment.

Speaker 1:

You might get to the end of the day and say, well, that's a really hard day, but I feel like I accomplished a lot. I say that all the time. We will have a really long day and I'll get to the end and I'll say wow, today was hard, it was heavy, it was long and it was overwhelming, but I Feel very, very accomplished. So my question to you is where are you getting accomplishment? When's the last time you you truly felt like you accomplished something and you Reflected and said wow, I'm really grateful that I did that. I'm really fulfilled because I did that. It was a very important thing for me to connect, because I kind of like cooking now and I think the reason is I didn't think I could do it and I know this probably sounds very simple, but I didn't think I could do it. Then I did something Relatively decent and I feel very accomplished. I'm proud of that, so I wanted to share that in this episode. And Now I'm also very hungry. My belly is rumbling same.

Speaker 2:

The feeling of accomplishment. You mentioned something there that I want to latch on to here. Latch it. You said I Would argue that the job that you feel more accomplished at is the one that's more fulfilling.

Speaker 1:

I didn't say that at all, but let's go with it. What did you say? It's gone. I could have said anything.

Speaker 2:

You said something more meaningful, more meaningful maybe. Yeah, I would argue that the job that you feel more accomplished at is more meaningful. Is that fair?

Speaker 1:

No, Maybe I don't know. I think I said what's the difference between a job that sucks and a job that is difficult but meaningful?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 1:

What I said was better than what you said.

Speaker 2:

There's two things I think here that I want to try to bring up. One is the feeling of accomplishment is so important. That's one of the best feelings in the entire world.

Speaker 1:

When's the last time you thought about that before this episode, feeling accomplished. How important feeling accomplished was.

Speaker 2:

Consciously. It's been a while. Same, it's been a while. Yeah, we have that. We feel that way often without. It's a duality. I'm going to share this. It's a duality. Kevin and I are shooting for a lot of goals that are far outside our current consciousness and capabilities and capital. We fail forward. We're failing a lot, failing constantly. We're outside our comfort zone, we're outside our competence zone. It's not like day to day we feel like we're crushing it. At least I don't. I do feel accomplished very, very, very consistently simultaneously while also feeling massively behind. I think that that duality is really important.

Speaker 2:

The two things that I really want to bring up here is number one feeling accomplished is so important. If you don't feel accomplished, you're leaving a lot of fulfillment on the table. It's not the whole equation, but it's a big part of it. The second part of the equation that I don't think you had mentioned, kevin, calling you out, is the job that you have growth at is most likely the one. Jim Rohn has that great quote it's not what you're making here, it's what are you becoming here? Well, what if you are making a lot of money helping a lot of people in a deeply meaningful way? Yeah, it's hard and challenging, but you're also growing towards the type of person you want to become. That, I think, is where the fulfillment would be. So, yeah, I want to talk a little bit about accomplishment and how important it is If you don't feel accomplished in fitness, accomplished in your relationship, accomplished as a person, accomplished in your career.

Speaker 2:

I'm obsessed with career. I'm obsessed with career development. I'm obsessed with achievement. I love it. Success is a word that resonates deeply with me. Whatever it is that you want to achieve.

Speaker 2:

I think there's nothing more meaningful in life than growing toward a deeply meaningful goal, toward a life of growth and contribution. I don't want to sound like a bumper sticker, but what would be the point of life if you don't have goals and growth and contribution and developing skills, all you can become with all you have and leveraging your gifts? I've been in places in my life for short times of nihilism where I was hopeless and I wasn't feeling accomplished and I wasn't maximizing my potential and I wasn't helping people and I wasn't serving. Yeah, having 26 clients is super difficult, but it also is really, really fulfilling. I have one client who sold her house for over half a million dollars and I was there for the conversations of how challenging that was. I've had clients sell their businesses for millions of dollars multi-millions I've had. It's cool. It's really cool to succeed. It's really cool to achieve your dreams, and to help other people achieve their dreams is my dream. So best thing in the world in my opinion.

Speaker 1:

I would say so. I can't imagine Many better feelings, especially when you decide you remember.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I do, do you? I, okay, I've been achievement oriented my whole life, sharing that I'm vulnerable about it because I don't want to come off as Arrogant or whatever. But yeah, I've always been very future and achievement oriented. That's a fair, that's very true. As someone who wasn't as achievement oriented, do you remember what it was like to not be achieving much? Definitely Do you. What would you say to that person to try to encourage them to to love it more, set more goals or whatever? I don't know. If you know, I think we should Sell me on goals. Why should I set goals? Why should I try to achieve, even if it's something as simple as cooking dinner for my family?

Speaker 1:

Oh man.

Speaker 2:

The old kev might not have even done that right old kev would be like now I'm gonna. Let's order out right probably.

Speaker 1:

Well, part of it too is I know how much it lights turn up. So it's multi if there's a lot of layers. I didn't really want to do it, but then when I said, okay, I'm gonna make, I'm gonna do it, I said I want to do it to the best of my ability. I want to make sure it's really good. I don't want a half-asset. The Many of the byproducts of setting goals are actually better than the actual completion of the mission. So I Can tell you that if you're not setting goals, you're not going to accomplish the goal. But there's a, there's probably a hundred other things that I can't tell you, you're missing out on and you'll never know, and some of those things might be the best things that ever happened to you. That's what I would say.

Speaker 2:

I'm unbelievably well said. I've been appreciate. I've been trying to articulate that in blogs and Podcast episodes for many, many years. Most of most of what we think we want in life that's wonderful and meaningful is actually a byproduct of Achieving goals. There's a book called measure what matters, and and it's a consultant that was at the beginning of Google 24 years ago. Joe, google's only 24 years old.

Speaker 1:

I wouldn't if you didn't tell me you've told me many, many times, which has seeped into my, my brain, at this point.

Speaker 2:

I'm 34. So when I was 10 makes sense. You remember googling on the max in middle school.

Speaker 1:

I I don't remember a ton. I remember Oregon Trail and I remember hamsters or gerbils wherever game that was, I was rainbow road gerbils or whatever.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I need to get a back on the first Macintosh computer way back, I need to get a hold on that. Definitely, you could probably get it on your phone now Dangerous, dangerous game. So what was I talking about? Turbles? No, no, no, no, before that Googles. Oh, measure what matters.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, emilia recommended a book measure what matters. This is probably a year into our relationship when she didn't fully understand and, understandably, we hadn't had a lot of math conversations back then and she didn't understand how deeply I understood all this ahead of time. So she's like this is great, book, measure what matters. And they have this thing called OKRs, it's objectives and key results. So always objectives, kr is key results. And I joked with her and I said, yeah, I read the book. And I said, ok, duh, just being playful. And she's like what do you mean? I was like this is I can't imagine. Not, I can't imagine not having numbers and goals to benchmark against. And then I fast forward, fast forward, fast forward. I do realize that that's not how everyone lives their life. I mean, I'm on the basketball court calculating my shot percentage in real time while I'm just practicing. I don't know how not to do that.

Speaker 2:

Emilia and I I'll give you a tiny example about this real quick, we were at the Lincoln Park, not the band, we were at the actual state park in Rhode Island and we have these egg sandwiches. Have you ever gotten a bacon, egg and cheese croissant at jumbo donuts? My friend, definitely. They are so good, so good. It's Sunday morning and I'm saying egg, and then upstairs, emilia says Sammy, I say egg, she says Sammy, it's like a thing, it's awesome. We have our own little wrap about it. So, anyways, I said, sweetheart, we were just sitting by the lake and we're eating our egg sammies and I said these are unbelievable. So I finished my two, I get two, she gets one.

Speaker 2:

Usually she eats a boat. I usually eat. She eats about 2 thirds of what I eat. So, anyways, she's also 2 thirds of my size. So I said, sweetheart, these egg sandwiches they never miss.

Speaker 2:

I said how many times do you think we've been to jumbo donuts in the last year? She's like ah, we've probably gotten these eight times. I was like, ok, so eight plus I'm getting two the last few times. So that's like 13 sandwiches. I calculated it and 13 sandwiches. Have you had a single sandwich that wasn't like phenomenal, 10 out of 10? She's like no, and I was like jumbo's knows what they're doing. They know what they're, they don't miss man.

Speaker 2:

Now the place is not. If anyone from jumbo's is listening, I apologize, but this place doesn't look that good. You guys have got to get it together. On the outside it's a place that's way better food than you would think. It's like one of those dives. But here's my point of this whole thing. I'm always thinking about numbers. In every single second of every single day, I think in numbers and there's formalities. I think and I'm not going to go through them all, but I guess I won't go deep on them all there's energy, there's pictures, there's numbers and there's words. Kevin thinks in words. We've talked about it. I think in numbers. We all have all four, but we have one really big one. What's my point of all this?

Speaker 1:

Okay, if you're not super goal-oriented, I Thought you were gonna say what's my point all this and then just say I don't remember.

Speaker 2:

No, I do remember. If you're not super goal-oriented, what I want to try to articulate and that's why I asked Kev because he used to not be as goal-oriented. Now he's super goal-oriented. Hmm, you have all the benefits of being goal-oriented now, but if you were to sell goal orientation to your past self, you're gonna sell it better than I can not. Being goal-oriented is Affecting you in ways you don't know. For most people that I coach, when we create goals, I just have a bunch of new clients actually that are creating goals.

Speaker 2:

It has nothing to do with getting the goal. It has to do with getting some direction, getting some momentum, getting some consistency, getting some habits, getting some. What's a good example of this? It's like if your goal is to get to Los Angeles and you're driving from the East Coast, you get to stop in Columbus, ohio and Vegas and you get all these other awesome things along the way. You get to end up at the Rockies and you drive through the Rockies. They're amazing. It's kind of that Just because getting to the destination, it's like going on a vacation. Right, your goal to going to Belgium, kev, isn't to go to Belgium. Your goal is to experience Belgium. But and and your your Magnificent journey with Teran to Belgium is gonna be way more than just like. If it's about getting the goal, you might as well go there, get off the plane. Hey, we went to Belgium and then drive, you know, fly home. I hope that's an analogy that will land. I'm obsessed with goals. I hope everyone. I want to encourage everyone to have bigger goals.

Speaker 1:

The beautiful thing about Belgium, too, is when we decided we were going to go to Belgium, I don't know if we really understood how close London, paris and Amsterdam was. Those are all an hour, an hour and a half train ride, so that's a. Those are all byproducts of us going. Maybe Teran probably understood at a deeper level than I did. Geography is not my thing. Yeah, I don't. The world's a big place and there's a lot of places that I don't even know exists, so it's not my strength. What's your next love nugget?

Speaker 2:

When you set goals that you desire, you will become more. You will learn more. Yes, you will have challenges, but there's a lot of things that you didn't know were gonna be so meaningful until after you trusted the journey on the way to the goal. The point of the goal isn't to get the goal. The point of the goal is to go on a magnificent adventure and to become more and contribute more.

Speaker 1:

My next level nugget would be next time you are debating on whether or not you want to do something, asking yourself if you would feel accomplished after might be a great thing to get you to do in the first place. Maybe you don't want to go for a walk, but if you said, well, I'll definitely feel accomplished after I do cool, awesome. I don't want to go grocery shopping, but that. I hate cleaning around the house, but when we do what, I feel very accomplished that's. That's a good little hack for me. I'll try that on myself next time.

Speaker 2:

Feeling accomplished is often a byproduct of doing things that you don't really want to do, and that's very common. You know, you may not want to go to the gym, but after you will feel accomplished, definitely. Next, excuse me, no, I said yeah.

Speaker 1:

I make sure Anything else about food or anything.

Speaker 2:

Very hungry this is very food.

Speaker 1:

When you were talking about jumbo donuts, jumbo donuts throwback. Well, little for those who don't know, because 99.99999% of you probably don't live in Uxbridge, massachusetts, I think there's two of them. There's one in Uxbridge and one in Northbridge which are towns next to each other. Just a little mom-and-pop shop coffee, donuts, breakfast sandwiches, pastries, that type of stuff real good.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, huge shout out to jumbo.

Speaker 1:

Cinnamon used to get large cinnamon sticky bun iced coffee and this is where you gotta. This is a pro move extra cream, extra sugar, obviously.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's dangerous. I used to.

Speaker 1:

It's a 400 calorie drink right there, man. I wondered why I was. Things weren't. The scale was going the wrong way. That was why that was it.

Speaker 2:

Bacon, egg and cheese croissant. I'm telling you, if you ever frequent Uxbridge mass, that's the way Jumbo donuts bacon, egg and cheese croissant Quick 750 K.

Speaker 1:

That's right there. Next level nation. A lot of people have been taking advantage of this. Alan is doing free calls with the amazing next level nation community. That's you. If you're watching or listening to this, click the link in the show notes. You can hop in the zoom machine with Alan. You can bring anything. Maybe you have questions about your career, maybe you have questions about a relationship, maybe you just want to say hey, alan, what do you like behind the scenes? Are you as weird as I think? Maybe are you less weird than I think? Probably not. The only way to find out will be to click the link in the show notes and get on a zoom with Alan. So the link will be in the show notes.

Speaker 2:

That's fun for me and really, if you do that, I will help you achieve your goals. Whatever goal you want, I'm good at that. I'm not good at everything, but that's that's my jam. Is your mental health hindering your growth? This is something I was not good at, and we're gonna talk a lot about self-care. We're gonna talk a lot about trauma responses. We're gonna talk a lot about your self-concept. I have a new kitten. We have Tucker, tariel and Tilly. Tilly is actually short for Tiger Lily and yes, it's a. It's a mayhem here at the house.

Speaker 2:

New little kitten, four weeks old, cutest thing ever. But she just looked in the mirror for the first time and Emilia was telling me she's like she doesn't know who she is yet. She doesn't have a self-concept yet. It's the first time she's ever seen a mirror, ever seen a cat look in the mirror. They just are so curious Like who's is that me Interesting? And mental health is self-concept. I was joking with Emilia earlier. I said well, I, whatever she decided little Tilly decided in the mirror is gonna dictate a lot of her life. Did she decide she's a good-looking cat or a bad-looking cat? Did she decide she's a smart cat or a not smart cat or whatever.

Speaker 2:

Self-concept is affecting your mental health, whether you know it or not. It's the record playing in the background. Is the record playing in the background? I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not good enough, I don't believe in myself, I'm not gonna achieve my goals, blah, blah, blah. I'm not good looking, or is it? I'm the best. I got this, I can do it. So self-concept mental health monthly meetup, august 10th, 6 pm, eastern Standard Time. The link to register will be in the show notes.

Speaker 1:

Two days after my birthday, so you can come say hi to the birthday boy if you'd like there you go If you'd like a little extra you know, extra love Tomorrow for episode number 1,418.

Speaker 1:

If you're waiting for perfects, you'll be waiting forever. When we were in California, we had one of our friends and mentors in the backseat of our car holding a pair of Alan's underwear in a in-and-out drive-through. That's where the inspiration for that episode came from, so make sure you tune in for that. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we do not have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Speaker 2:

Set and get those goals and feel accomplished Next civilization.

Speaker 1:

Oh lord.

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host