Next Level University

#1433 - Rock Bottom Has A Basement… Alan Interviews Kevin On The Darkest Time In His Life

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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We've all wrestled with insecurities and doubt, haven't we? Those nagging voices in our heads that question our worth, our abilities, and our dreams. In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros talk about Kevin's journey, insecurities, and how they've shaped him and his road to success. Alan interviews Kevin about his insecurities in the different stages of his life, and how he navigated the challenges that came his way. Kevin shares his rise and fall in his career and how he bounced back from rock bottom to be where he is now. They stress the significance of striking a balance between success and character development and the empowering effect of self-belief in goal attainment.

Links mentioned:
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Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/   
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/   


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Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

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Show notes:
[4:13] Kevin's story from the frame of insecurity
[12:04] How Kevin combatted insecurity in high school
[14:50] Insecurity while working at a gas station
[19:35] Training at the fire academy
[23:51] Rebecca praises Alan's coaching and the effectiveness of the Peak Performance Tracker in keeping her consistent and moving toward her goals
[25:05] Finding his next job at a job fair
[29:30] His insecurity at his new career
[33:06] Overcoming insecurity
[35:52] The moment he quit his high-paying job
[38:58] Feeling like a loser after about a year as a podcaster
[46:53] Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Speaker 1:

Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed our latest episode, episode number 1432. Are you the best partner you've ever been? Today, for episode number 1433, alan is going to interview me because we have a lot of new listeners. Always that's one of the benefits of growing we get new listeners, and when you're new to the family, we would like to make sure you know who you're listening to, so you'll see people do this on social Media, where they'll say let me reintroduce myself. For those of you are new, we have the benefit of talking into microphones so we can reintroduce ourselves in many different ways, so I Don't know where we're gonna talk about, what we're gonna talk about, where we're gonna go.

Speaker 2:

Whatever, alan, Hi, how are you? It's not just the message, it's the messenger. I Think who you are Matters just as much as what you help people with. It's fair play. I also think what you help with people with Also helps you create who you are, and it's a cyclical thing.

Speaker 2:

Question yeah, man, all right, so you are someone who came from a Place of limited means. Sure, you didn't go to college. You weren't necessarily a rock star student and I Was thinking about what I wanted to interview you about. I Do want you to tell your story, but I also Don't know. I, I do and I don't, and but I want you to tell it from the frame of insecurity I Was asking myself.

Speaker 2:

So Kevin and I take breaks in between these episodes because my camera needs to Charge the battery a bit and I was thinking what would be the most valuable? What would be the most valuable? What would be the most valuable? And I was thinking about all my clients. I was thinking about what makes the difference in people's lives. I was thinking about why some people never achieve their goals, why some people never achieve their dreams, why some people Might be out there thinking about their goal, their dream, and they don't believe they can do it, or maybe they don't know how to do it, or maybe they don't know where to start, or maybe they didn't have guidance or whatever.

Speaker 2:

And I Think one of the main reasons people don't achieve their dreams is what we've talked about many times in this podcast, which is self-belief and self-worth. The psychological, clinical definitions would be self-efficacy and self-concept. You are someone who, I would consider, had a ton of insecurities Growing up and didn't maybe know that. Hmm, as I've grown and evolved, I had a ton of insecurities that I didn't realize were Driving, and as you grow and evolve, you realize that those things were driving us more than we thought. Can you tell your story from the frame of insecurity?

Speaker 1:

Oh man, that's a loaded question. I don't know if I've ever done it from that, like the whole thing, yeah.

Speaker 2:

When did you start noticing that you were insecure? And then what was your reaction to that? And Then did the insecurities grow over time and how did you eventually because at the end of the day, I just think you started. Finally, I remember there was this one clip on YouTube we went to the gym with Eddie P. He is the founder of your world within on YouTube, and the morning mindset workout that I do every single day is called owed to excellence. It's an Eddie P video. Shout out to Eddie P If you're listening. He does listen, apparently, which is awesome. But he did a video of you and me in the gym one time, and it was. It had our podcast in the background of the video and it was you and me working out and you said I looked my demons in the eye, finally, and I faced them all. That is the frame I want you to tell your story from.

Speaker 1:

Some good shit right there. I said that you did. Wow, yeah, it was a Was ahead of my time behind the scenes.

Speaker 2:

Frame of you in the gym, your back and looking jacked.

Speaker 1:

Shout out to Eddie P. I remember that video. That was a world-class video. Yeah, it was the first time I can ever remember being insecure. I was in oh man, maybe Fifth or sixth grade, I believe. And for some reason, when you are new to a class, you go around. So in school you go around and everybody says this is what my mom does for work, this is what my dad does for work. For some reason, I don't know why that's a icebreaker. Does anybody really know what their parents do with that age? I don't know, but I Just so. I didn't know my dad and meet my dad with the understanding that he was my dad until I was 27. So I remember saying my dad's in construction, that was what I had. I think that seems realistic. That's possible. That was the first time I ever really remember being insecure about somebody knowing the truth. That's what I would say is the first Conscious thought I have of that. You know I'm gonna go keep going. I don't know how to tell it. From that frame you got this.

Speaker 2:

I think all of us are. I think all of us will grow To the extent that we face our deepest insecurities.

Speaker 1:

I would agree. I would agree. I don't know if I really to your point. I don't know if I really understood what my insecurities were, because in middle school, I mean, obviously one of my biggest insecurities is being short. In middle school, luckily everybody's the same height. I'm sure you and I were probably the same height in middle school.

Speaker 2:

Then for some reason, you and Dave, yeah we're the shortest. At one point we were the short Kings, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so that probably that was. It was probably high school where I really started to Understand, because, yeah, I played baseball when I was younger, but I was never insecure because I was good and I always like I've said this before, I've always made every all-star team I ever tried out, for I got Recruited to play travel teams. I was, I was really good at baseball and I was never insecure because I it always seemed to work out pretty well, so I never really thought about it too much. Then, when high school started, I think that's when I probably really had more insecurities, because I don't know if you remember this, but when you and I started high school, the seniors were grown ass men. Mm-hmm, these were real men.

Speaker 2:

These were.

Speaker 1:

I remember looking and saying no way you're four years older than I am not a chance. No way you have a full beard.

Speaker 2:

I know exactly you're talking about.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it just didn't make any sense. So I think going into high school I had a very small group of friends and Alan says I was popular. I do not think I was nearly as popular as Alan thinks. And yeah, I think it's that high school experience where I don't want to sit alone at lunch. I'm gonna sit by myself like Steven Glansberg.

Speaker 2:

I don't want to do that.

Speaker 1:

It's a super bad reference for those who don't know. Then, then, then. The next like real big time was when I started pumping gas. That was a. All my friends were away at college, so I decided I didn't want to go to college after high school all my friends.

Speaker 2:

What about the pit stains?

Speaker 1:

Oh my goodness, yeah, yeah, I was in. I was in mr Smith's class. Mr Smith was our wild english teacher, right yeah he was a wild he was a wild english teacher.

Speaker 1:

I hope he's doing well, if he's, if he's still with us. He was older, so I'm not sure. But Then I raised my hand to ask a question and this kid next to me, craig. He said oh Nice, pit stains man. And I was like what, what are you talking about? And I looked over and my armpits were sweating and that was the first time I had ever thought about that. That was the first time ever and that To this day is still something I think about. To this day, probably 15 years later.

Speaker 2:

I hope the listeners Are seeing patterns in their own past of how much Right one thing, these little things that people say about us in an imperfect moment. It affects us so much when we're kids, when we're kids and it but, but it it continues to affect you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, not necessarily. I mean imagine if you and I don't have the opportunity, pleasure, displeasure of working at an office. But imagine if you walk into a room and somebody's talking trash behind your back and they don't know you're there. I can imagine that still happens to people to this day. So definitely it doesn't take much. But when he said that, that was the first time I really thought. I never really thought about that, I wasn't worried about that. It wasn't a conscious thought that I was very conscious of that. Moving forward, I wouldn't wear gray shirts. I wouldn't wear any shirt where it was easy you could tell I was sweating. I bought clinical strength theodorant for a while. Later in life I actually dated somebody who had hyperhydrosis, which is what I thought I had. That's when you sweat a ton. So I learned about it later in life, which is very interesting.

Speaker 2:

Theme. What was the theme of your insecurity, in hindsight, in middle school and then what was the theme in high school and what was your correction? So in middle school you talked about, in fifth grade, lying to compensate for the insecurity of the truth. What was the deepest insecurity theme and then what was your reaction to it? Middle school, high school.

Speaker 1:

Middle school deepest insecurity was being the kid without a dad. That's it. I lied about it. That was my trauma response was I'm not lying about this. I don't even know if that was conscious, though. I just didn't have an answer. I don't think I wanted to open the can of worms of saying I don't know, because I don't really know if I was conscious enough to understand what all that really meant at that point. So that was, yeah, it was lie, just a little white lie. Never hurt anybody. On the first day of school, my dad's in construction, construction, that's it. It's all you need to know. Hammers, nails, saws, you know the whole nine. Really, that's pretty much it.

Speaker 1:

In high school judgment Judgment for sure, being on the outside of popular kids, looking bad in front of the popular girls, that was a big one for sure. And how did I combat that? Probably just shrinking myself, just not trying, just not putting myself out there hiding Turtle, turtle. More than puffer. I would say yeah, I think again, being good at baseball was something that gave me a lot of significance, but I don't know if I ever really wanted to. I don't know if I ever really truly felt like I fit in with the popular kids Like I got invited to the parties and stuff, but I never felt like I fit in there. Never, never, ever, ever did I feel like I can't fit in there.

Speaker 2:

In hindsight, welcome In hindsight. Obviously, we didn't know what any of this was back then. It's wild to think back to.

Speaker 1:

I don't know, even back then I was going to say even back then I do believe I was more focused on my character, but I had I made some mistakes. But then I would hear through the grapevine of what other people were doing. Yeah, I honestly think I didn't want to surround myself with people who I didn't really enjoy their characters. I didn't. I didn't like the, the way a lot of the other people were just like very toxic, masculine. I didn't like that. I didn't want to be a part of that. I've never liked that.

Speaker 1:

I'm raised by women, raised by my mom and my grandmother. I've always had a soft spot for that. So I think that was a big piece of it is we're not really friends. We're not really ever going to be close friends, so I don't really want to be part of everything that's going on. But there also was a very insecure part of me that wanted to be invited to everything too. So it was that the in between, that of saying wow, I'm not popular enough to get invited to certain things but also not wanting to go to things when I did get invited. It was that kind of that balance. I think I knew I didn't belong that, but I also. I do believe I part of me wanted to belong, but also part of me didn't want to. I just couldn't figure out what was the the one worth feeding?

Speaker 2:

It's called inner civil war. It's crazy to think back on. Okay, post high school. You're at the gas station, you're the man it was the gas station, the man with a plan. Million that chapter. So you have middle school, high school, that chapter. What was the insecurity in hindsight and what was the response to it?

Speaker 1:

There were many insecurities at that time. Number one I'm going to be the towny guy who never gets out of here and all my friends are going to leave. That was the biggest one. Most of my family still lives in the town that they're from. Everybody. Nobody left. Everybody went anywhere else, really, and if they did, it wasn't far. So that it was. I'm going to be stuck at this gas station and I don't really know what the hell I'm going to do after this. I was training. I was training martial arts, so that was a piece of it. I really I'm telling it the theme of my life. I really really think this, now more than ever, is.

Speaker 1:

I always felt like I was a loser, so I would do something that would create some sort of interest. So think of two versions. One version gas station Kev, who's okay with working at the gas station and just says this is what I'm going to do forever. This is it. I didn't go to college and I'll figure it out. Version two I'm training to be a professional fighter and that's why I'm here. It's close to my house. I work the same hours every day, six to two. It's easy. The gym's right up the street. I live five minutes down the road, I can train every single night. I don't work weekends Easy enough. So I think there was a part of me that always wanted to be different but was always afraid to be different in the wrong ways or the ways easier to judge from an aspirational standpoint. Because, if you think about it, I decided not to go to college and I was okay with that. I was very much okay with that. I was proud of that genuinely. But working at the gas station I wasn't proud of because that was another form of judgment. But I was super proud to tell everybody I was training to be a fighter. So I do believe I was jumping from. I'm going to get judged for this, but at least let me get judged for something that I am okay with being judged for. I would say that was really the theme at that time. And then, like we talked about in the previous episode, I job hopped. They jumped around from job to job.

Speaker 1:

I remember, specifically at the gas station, it was seeing old people that I went to high school with, seeing girls. I used to have crushes on, seeing just attractive women that would come in. It was like, ah, they would never. This could never happen. No way, this would never happen. Old friends would come in. That was brutal. And then eventually the gas station got bought out by some guy who was just an ass. He was terrible. He was terrible. We used to have to cash out at the end of our shift and we'd have to figure out the numbers in the pumps and make sure all the numbers added up. And routinely. My boss would just take money from me, routinely, because if the numbers weren't off he'd say, well, the money went somewhere. It's like well, maybe there's something wrong with some of this technology that hasn't been looked at in the last 50 years, possibly Now I know but it was yeah, routine.

Speaker 1:

It's like oh, $20 here, $40 here, well, when you're making $10 an hour under the table, you're making $80, somebody takes 20 of that. You just lost a quarter of your day's work really. So that was terrible. That was a very interesting time working for somebody who was just not a good person, just a very not character driven human being, very just not aligned, just a sleazy human being. So that was the gas station. And then I ended up leaving there and working at the hospital being a personal trainer, paying $1,000 to get out of my personal trainer job because I hated sales so much and they were so negative and they were toxic too, for sure.

Speaker 1:

Truck driver, forklift operator that sucked, because I was working like 70 hours a week for $12 an hour. Not good left. That See and this is this is another theme I knew I didn't want to do that job anymore. I didn't want to be a forklift operator. I didn't want to drive a truck. The hours sucked, nobody cares about my life. I don't want to be here anymore. Work every Saturday no, don't want to do it.

Speaker 1:

So I was talking to one of my coworkers, lance. His name was Lance, interesting guy. Him and I were very, very good buddies for a short time, and he was talking about one of his friends that was a firefighter and I said that would be it, that's it, I want to do that. That sounds awesome. I love that. I want to save lives. That's awesome. I'm physically fit, that'd be great.

Speaker 1:

And he said, well, you got to go down to your town and see if they're hiring. I was like, all right, let me see what I can do. So I went down to the town and I said, hey, I'm looking to join a volunteer firefighting department. Do you guys do that? And they said, well, we're actually starting a new round, so we send all the people who want to be volunteers, we send them out to get training and it's all taken care of. And I was like, interesting, okay, I went to my job and said, hey, I need to be home Monday and Wednesday by X time. And they're like, no, not going to happen, can't happen. So that's when I went in and I said, all right, well, I'm quitting.

Speaker 2:

I quit Wait. Why did you have to be home?

Speaker 1:

Because I needed to the fire academy.

Speaker 2:

I needed to go to the Gotcha. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

And then it was like the yard it was called was 45 minutes from where I lived. And then it was like another hour to the fire station where we were getting the training. So I pretty much I think I said I had to be home at like three every day and they're like no, no way. So I ended up going in and quitting that job and I remember the owner of the branch he was like the head guy there he like he definitely laughed at me and said what do you don't have another job lined up, what are you going to do? And I said I don't know, I'll figure it out. I've done it many times before.

Speaker 1:

So I started I go to the fire academy and I met a guy there, big Z Zach. I had a lot of interesting people in my in my past. Great dude, he's a massive guy, covered in tattoos, nicest dude in the world, just a just a good dude. Good, good, good dude would give you the shirt off of his back, Just a good guy. And he said what do you do for work? I don't have a job. I quit. He wouldn't let me have flexible hours and I wanted to do this, so I quit. He said you have any experience in contracting. I said, yeah, I like working with my hands.

Speaker 1:

Oh, my dad used to work in construction. My dad was a pretty serious construction worker. So, no, I said I like. I said I like work with my hands. I'm willing to learn. Yeah, give me a shot, I'll see what I can do. So he said, all right, we're renovating this house that will give you $15 an hour, you in? I said, yeah, I'm in, let's do it.

Speaker 1:

So I ended up working pretty much for the entire time I was going through the fire Academy. I remember I worked with him and it was awesome because he was in the fire Academy so he knew what time I had to leave. It's perfect. It was amazing. It was like super easy job, cool dude, they. They left most of the time. So I was just there by myself all day painting the house and doing stuff. It was great. I enjoyed that very much. And then after that I ended up going to I don't know if I've ever told this this on the podcast. So that job ended and I had nothing. I had no idea what I was going to do because, again, the fire Academy I had graduated. But I realized it's it's nearly impossible to get a job as a firefighter unless you're military or police or you have your paramedic. There's a lot of things that go into that and I'm not saying that from a negative place.

Speaker 1:

That is the way it should be, but I realized pretty quickly I don't know this is going to take a long time if I'm going to end up being a full time paid firefighter, and at that time I had seen how dangerous it was too. We've done live fire trainings. I've heard the statistics of how many firefighters get cancer. It was like oh man. This is. This is potentially more than I bargained for.

Speaker 2:

What are the statistics from?

Speaker 1:

I don't remember off the top of my head but it's not good. Yeah, yeah it's. It's very, very, very dangerous.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, for sure, very dangerous, makes sense. But you got to figure the stuff that's burning is not, it's not like natural wood.

Speaker 1:

No, it's mostly everything's plastic. Now, almost everything is, and plastic is very, very dangerous when it's burning. Yeah, very dangerous, mmm you 10. So I realized I don't know how this is going to work. I don't know if I'm going to get a job in the fire industry. What am I going to do? At that time I was dating a young lady and her aunt worked at some job fair thing somewhere in Massachusetts. So she said you should go to this job fair and see what they have. And I was like alright, I've got nothing else. At this point I don't know what I'm going to do. And at that point I don't have a job at all. I'm completely out of work. And I end up going to this job fair and they said there's this thing called weatherization and you go in houses and you seal the hole, you make it more energy efficient. And I said the same thing. They said is that something you might be interested in? I said I like working with my hands so let's give it a shot.

Speaker 2:

My dad was in construction.

Speaker 1:

Well, at this point I said I have construction experience. Yeah, I've renovated houses, I have some construction experience. So I go, I take this class. It's like a two week class. We learn all this stuff and I pass, and we get to the end and they said in the exit interview they said we really like your personality, we think you'd be a good fit for this company. It's the best company we have. So what would happen is companies would go to this job fair and find employees. That's what would happen. And the lady said there's only two downsides. One, they're in Boston, which was like an hour from where I lived. Two there's travel required, so they work in a lot of other states. And I said I'm not interested, I'm a homebody, I'm not driving into Boston every day, that ain't it. And she said well, they pay like $60 an hour. And I said no, they don't. This is not real, this is fake. But connect me with them, let me feel them out, Let me see.

Speaker 2:

Let me see so.

Speaker 1:

I ended up. I ended up All of a sudden. That commutes no problem, it's a lot of money.

Speaker 1:

I ended up doing a job interview with them. I did an interview and they said you've got a great personality, you're in, we're gonna let you jump the line. We have a job coming up in a couple months. Hold out, we'll call you when it's ready. I was like all right. I still don't really believe this. I remember I was at the movies with one of my friends and at this point I am dead broke. I don't even know how I paid for the movie. Going to the movies was irresponsible, basically. Amount of money.

Speaker 1:

I don't remember what movie it was, I don't remember, but I got a call from my boss or text from my quote, unquote boss and he said hey, we're leaving next week. Are you good to go? And I was like, yeah, I guess. Well, sure, let's see what happens. So pack a bag, drive down to the office, tell my family, hey, no, this is real. I'm going to Delaware from Massachusetts. So I'm going to be living in another state for at least a week. I don't know, we'll see what happens.

Speaker 1:

So I drive to Boston, I pack all my stuff, I drive to Boston and I get in a Subaru Outback that was the car that my boss had and we're getting ready to get in. I put my stuff in the back, we're packing up, and he said the only thing I got to tell you before we leave is you're going to be making less money than everybody else. And I was like I knew there was a catch. I knew there was a catch. He said because you're on probation, you're new, so your first paycheck, you'll be making less than everybody else. And I said, okay, and he said so, instead of $60 an hour, you've been making $50. And I was like no way, no way. Is this real? This is not real.

Speaker 1:

So I got in a car with a man I had met one time before. We drove eight hours to another state. We moved into a house with seven strangers and I proceeded to learn how to do a job that I had never done before with people I didn't know and a completely new industry. And I remember the first week we went down there I did two things. One I found the nearest Anytime Fitness, which was right down the street from the house we were renting and had a hole in the floor. Anytime Fitness had a hole in the floor. I'm not even kidding.

Speaker 2:

In.

Speaker 1:

Wilmington, delaware, and I went to the grocery store and all I could afford was bread, deli meat and diet soda and chips, and that's what I ate every single day. For the first week I was down there. Then I got my first check after the week, for I think it was like maybe $35 an hour. So whatever, that is $1,750. And that was it. I was like I'm in, this is it. This is my new career. I'm going to do this forever. I will never leave this behind. At that time I had a girlfriend who lived in Mass, so I travel. The first time I went down there I stayed for a week. Then the next time I stayed for two or three. I was like I'm in, I found money. I will do whatever it takes. I'm going to grind my face off. I don't care how long I have to stay on the road, I don't care where I have to work, I don't care how long I have to drive, I do not care what shift I'm working. I am in. That was the beginning of the next phase.

Speaker 2:

What was the insecurity in hindsight? And then what was the response to it? I think I know the answer, but I also am curious to hear Take, of course.

Speaker 1:

What was the insecurity? I think the biggest insecurity at that time was being a failure.

Speaker 2:

Lack of success.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, being a loser lack of success.

Speaker 2:

That's why that job Lack of success, lack of money lack of opportunity, lack of success.

Speaker 1:

That job did so much for me and I know I look back on it in positive and negative ways, but I became relatively wealthy all things considered. Yeah, I mean I lived at home still. I remember, yeah, I remember it was night and day. I was just stacking money, money was just going into the bank and it was like whoa, this is wild. It just brought me a level of certainty that I had never had.

Speaker 2:

Well, you made a lot more than anyone in your family ever made. Essentially, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I worked. One job I worked. I made $120 an hour.

Speaker 2:

It was a trip. I remember the first time I started making money good money. I remember it was wild I was getting $12,000 checks every other week and it was like it cut to the point where it was a little obnoxious of what do I do with all this?

Speaker 1:

You remember that moment. It's a good problem to have.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it was great, it was really good.

Speaker 1:

It just brought me certainty.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but growing up with very little money, that we both had very little, I don't want to say yeah, yeah, we were in the lower lower class, lower middle class when my stepdad left. I mean I was broke, we were very broke. So after, when you start making real money, it is wild, it's weird.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's awesome it just opened a lot of opportunities.

Speaker 2:

I remember.

Speaker 1:

So then I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend and moving in with. It was toxic. And then I moved in with an old family friend. So I used to have a best friend. I was over there every single day. His sister and I were really good friends and I was like, hey, I got nowhere to live, my family just moved. I just broke up with my girlfriend I don't know what I'm going to do and the other. It's not that I couldn't afford to move. I had plenty of money to move, but I was never home, so I didn't have time to find a place. It was like I broke up on Friday I'm leaving on Sunday to go to work, I don't know where to put my stuff. And she said, well, you can move in with my family. And I was like, all right, let me see how that goes. But then from there it was like I was just stacking money. I didn't have any rent.

Speaker 2:

I know.

Speaker 1:

And then I got my first place on my own, just in this sketchy, sketchy building, just sketchy the sketchiest. I used to have my gun under my bed every single night. Okay, let's see what happens here In retrospect. I don't know, maybe I was just more sheltered than I. Don't think it was as bad as I probably think it was, all things considered. But I remember applying for that apartment. I was like this is going to be fine. Of course I'm going to get this. I have a ton of money, my credit's perfect. I'm just going to be totally fine.

Speaker 2:

And that's a different life when you have it was completely different from it. Yeah, I think we should probably dive into that a little bit. I know we're coming up with time here.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, we're here. Okay, there are positive ways and negative ways to overcome insecurity, and we're all overcompensating for something at least early in our life. And that's why the drive to five is so powerful. Because the drive to five is whatever you were overcompensating for earlier in your life. You can get back to center now that you realize it was an overcompensation, so didn't want to deal with your traumas, ended up drinking too much. Now you can get back to five. You know, didn't have a lot of money growing up, ended up chasing money at the expense of fulfillment. Got a ton of money. Now, you know, get back to five.

Speaker 2:

I guess from that frame, what would be the main takeaway for our listeners? That because you and I are in positions where we're constantly contemplating our existence and we do this for a living. So what I'm finding very true and as uncomfortable as this is to share. When I meet people, it's very clear that they don't know themselves the way I know myself. It's because they don't do this for work. I'm sure if you're an accountant, you know more about accounting than Kevin and I do, because that's what you do for work. What we do for work is constantly contemplate our past, our present and our future and get to know ourselves and our listeners at a deeper level. This is all we do. So what would you share with our listeners from all this If you were not a podcaster and you were still on that same trajectory of just insecure overcorrection, insecure overcorrection, insecure overcorrection? What would you recommend to our listeners?

Speaker 1:

Man. It's a really hard question because my life was easier in many ways. I wasn't nearly as fulfilled, but my life was far simpler than it is today. So it's kind of a loaded question for me because how challenging it's been to get to where we are today. Again, I know, not everybody's gonna do this. It would probably be that when you stop trying to climb, you're gonna stop At some point. I think we all have that kick in the face moment where we say like I don't know if I can do blank anymore. And then we fall back into the same pattern Because I had, I didn't like my job.

Speaker 1:

At the end I wanted to leave, but it took me a long time before I ever actually got to the point of leaving. And the me leaving thing was based on the fact that Alan and I had we had a workout scheduled with Catherine Nash. We were supposed to work out with Catherine, remember, and my company told me I was working for a shift. And I called him and said hey, we're working at a building. I'm telling you right now it's second shift. They just told me we can't come in here tomorrow morning. I need you like I can't do that if that's the case, and they said no, you're good, it's first shift, it's first shift. So the next day comes, or whatever, maybe.

Speaker 1:

They called me later, I don't know and they said oh, it's actually second shift. And I said I can't do second shift. I told you that and they said well, you have to come in. And I said I'm not coming in. I have prior obligations, I have stuff that I already signed up for. I can't come in, and that was it. That was the end. They called me the next day and said hey, we don't know if this is gonna work, and I said well, I'm telling you, right now I have to do the things that I've already committed to.

Speaker 2:

And I remember that conversation. That was in my yard, no, so it was in the gym, and then you and I went back to podcast at my place the home that I grew up in and Kevin was in the yard near the rock wall.

Speaker 1:

I'll never forget it because I'm like, oh, this is the moment, because I remember quitting my job years before that, and it's such a scary moment. It was brutal.

Speaker 2:

It's such a scary moment. Because you're just like all right, let me take this net out from under me and just cut it, rip it up, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So what happened was I was at another gym for some reason Every time I get difficult calls about the gym and it was the HR person or what I don't remember who it was and we were on really good terms, like it was very, it was amicable. They understood that I was not playing the game anymore and I understood that they were not gonna let me live my life the way I wanted to. So it was very much like I'm leaving, they're good with it, it's all fine. But I got a call from the HR person and she said hey, this has been a really good relationship. Like we love you. You've been nothing but great for this company. We know it's gonna take time to transition to another job. What if we just keep you on for the next 30 days and you can just stack money? We'll just get you as many jobs as you want. And I said no, I was like I'm good, I'm good, I don't wanna come back, I don't want the money. Like I'm just gonna go do my thing. And that was very freeing, but it was also terrifying. It was also one of the most terrifying things ever of all time.

Speaker 1:

But to tie it up in closing early in life, I felt like I was working on my character but I never had any money to show for it. Later in life I had a lot of money to show for it, but I wasn't working on my character nearly as much. Then I lost all the money and gave up all the money and gave up the car that I had, that I loved and all the things. I gave up all the things and went back to zero. When it came to money. Past zero, they'll let you keep going If you run the card, they'll just let you keep charging it. But then I worked even more on my character. So I went from having what I felt was a good character and very little success having a lot of success and not working on my character as much to back to having nothing but being proud of who I was.

Speaker 1:

I remember that I was walking around the kitchen one day and I remember thinking I'm the brokest I've ever been as a man, as a young man, a single, and I have no prospects of love at all. I feel like a loser, like this pod. Nobody cares that we're podcasting, nobody's listening. This is like year two You're one and a half maybe but I remember thinking I'm really proud of what I'm doing, though I'm not. I'm just. I'm fulfilled in what I'm doing. I'm not happy because I'm miserable, but I'm fulfilled. I'm fulfilled in what I'm doing. I'm proud of the man I'm becoming. I'm working really hard on myself, track and habits. At this point, I came up with this system to track habits.

Speaker 2:

No, Alan did.

Speaker 1:

But I finally felt like I was making progress towards something different is what I would say. I don't know what I'm right there I'm like who's the guy?

Speaker 2:

What's the system? I came up with something in my basement and just tracking. Help, pete, performance tracking. Yeah, he just came to me one day.

Speaker 1:

I wouldn't have named it that. I probably wouldn't have named it something else.

Speaker 2:

Of course, yeah, habit tracking, habit tracking. Last question yeah, what's your next level nugget that you would give to someone who feels insecure and lost, like you once?

Speaker 1:

did? I don't know. I think the only answer for insecurity is to walk through it, and it's not easy. You got to start small, but like I'm sweating right now, look at it, there you go. There's my pit stains on this episode. I never would have done that in high school, but what I mean now it is what it is. What are you going to do? There's bigger fish to fry. There's bigger problems to solve. I care way more about what Alan thinks of me than somebody who's going to comment and say, oh, you're sweating through your shirt Like it's hot as F in the studio right now.

Speaker 1:

This is episode number five or four. It's been a long day. So, yeah, there are some things that there is no such thing as around, there's only through. And the sooner you start facing those things, I think the sooner you'll start understanding that they're only controlling you because you're letting them in a lot of ways. Now, easier said than done. I completely understand, trust me.

Speaker 1:

I spent my entire life trying to overcome it and then this is the last thing I would say. The only reason I am where I am today is just because I just kept trying. I am probably not more intellectually gifted than you. Maybe I had some speaking skills in the beginning. Maybe I have some physical genetics for bodybuilding. I don't have them for basketball. So if you're a basketball player, you're ahead of me, but I did try to just get a little bit better every day, and that's that's all I do today. I try to get a little bit better every day and it's not. We were talking about this earlier. I was talking about one of the fighters that I follow who's been fighting professionally, or he's been fighting for almost 15 years and nobody knew his name until five years ago. Six years ago, nobody knew who he was. There are some people that did, and now he's doing the title fight.

Speaker 1:

Now he's fighting for the title.

Speaker 2:

Now, everyone knows him, everyone who follows UFC.

Speaker 1:

And if he wins, everybody will know who he is. But that's a 12 year journey and he just got. He did a little bit and a little bit and a little bit. It's just small stuff. It's the 90% of our success, your success. If you're out there, it's going to be the small stuff behind the scenes that nobody sees for most of us. So, yeah, I would. I would send that out as an inspirational next level nugget that you are A hundred thousand decisions from any future. If you make more positive decisions than negative, you'll have a more positive life. I know it's simplistic, but I would say, yeah, if you, if you make the majority of your decisions positive in the right direction, you'll probably end up in the direction you want.

Speaker 2:

Well done, brother. I appreciate it. I could keep going, I know you know that, but I think we might. My camera battery won't allow it.

Speaker 1:

That is a fact. I appreciate the questions. I appreciate the minimal laughs at my expense very much. I appreciate that, and my father was in construction. Still, here's the thing he actually was in construction.

Speaker 2:

So I guess, correctly.

Speaker 1:

It made sense. I must have known something. Next, all the nation. If you are getting to know us at a deeper level and you want to see more behind the scenes of what our lives look like pretty boring, I'm not going to lie to you, but we post pictures of our cats and our pets and our travels and what we're up to and our wonderful partners. So I am at Never Quit Kid on Instagram. Alan is at a Lazarus 88. A L A Z A R O S 88. Alan Lazarus on Facebook. Kevin Paul Mary on Facebook. The more the merrier you are part of this family. We are just a DM away. We are just an email away. You would be very surprised at how much we answer our DMs. That's my goal at least. Sometimes I suck and I'm overwhelmed, but if you DM me and you listen to the show, I will get back to you for sure.

Speaker 2:

I will get back to you as well. I have not been as on top of it as of late, which I need to be honest about, but I will eventually get back to you. So if you just resonated with Kevin's story and you do feel insecure and overwhelmed and lost, directionless, struggle, bus, one of the things that I think has made the biggest difference is just exposure therapy, which is just fear chasing. What's your fear and what's one small thing you can do to face that fear? So if you're afraid of judgment, post something on social media that you're afraid to post. If you're afraid of getting a mentor, ask someone to mentor you. If you're afraid of getting a coach, ask someone to get a coach.

Speaker 2:

So I have nothing to plug right now. What I want to plug is whatever you're afraid of, there's no way yeah to Kevin's point, there's no way. It's not going to get, it's not going to go away on its own. It's not going to go away on its own, it will just. It'll maybe never go away fully, but it will get smaller. You know, every speech we give, we're less scared every single time, even the ones we've done terrible at, I do feel like we've just gotten way more exposure. So my only plug right now is whatever that fear is. Maybe it's afraid to reach out to us. Maybe it's afraid to ask that person on a date. Maybe it's afraid to post on social media. Maybe it's afraid to share your story. Maybe it's afraid to start a podcast. Maybe it's afraid to get a coach. Maybe it's afraid to get a therapist. Whatever it is, do that thing, and if you DM us to Kevin's point, we will get back to you, in my case, eventually. But we will get back to you.

Speaker 1:

Well, I Jeff too occasionally depends on what's going on, but we're grateful Right At the end of the day. I said this to somebody the other day if you didn't have anybody listening to your podcast, you should be talking to yourself. So you have to make sure you take care of the people who are taking care of you. That's always our goal. So you know, I'm not going to be talking about that. My goal is to make sure that you're not only getting back to your point, but you're going to be talking about that. You're going to be talking about that. That's always our goal.

Speaker 1:

So tomorrow for episode number 1,434, named your episode, life is About Choices. Kevin interviews Alan and then there's a bunch of other stuff there, but it'll be based on that. So I'm going to interview Alan. Where are we going to go? I don't know. We'll see what happens. I'm sure it'll be wonderful because I know Alan better than most. Inspiration, some knowledge, whatever it is. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and an NLU. We don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Speaker 2:

Face your insecurities. Next up is перем.

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host