Next Level University

#1445 - 2 Reasons Why People Unintentionally Hold You Back

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Share episode

Have you ever held back a loved one not because you didn't want them to succeed but because of your fear? Fear comes in many forms and impacts us in different ways. In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros talk about the psychology of fear and its impact on our decisions. They talk about trusting our judgment and facing the fear of being left behind. They also shed light on overcoming fears of judgment and rejection and reinforcing the importance of seeking a supportive network.

Links mentioned:
Next Level Nation: https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level Monthly Meetup: https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/ 


______________________ 

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com   

The best way to track your habits is here! Download the app: Optimal - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/optimal/   

_______________________

Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume

_________________

We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on LinkedIn, Instagram, or via email

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

__________________

Show notes:
[1:44] Kevin shares a story about his past partner
[4:40] Fear of being left behind
[10:29] Overprotective or under protective parents
[17:36] Knowing the other side
[18:20] Tim credits Alan's guidance and the Next Level Business Solutions for the transformative impact on his business
[19:15] Not trusting your judgment
[22:03] The four monkeys
[27:18] See the other side's perspective
[34:33] Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Speaker 1:

Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed our latest episode, episode number 144. That's an easy one to remember. One of the best possible uses for your money today. For episode number 1445 happy Thursday.

Speaker 1:

Two reasons why people unintentionally hold you back. I have been on Both ends of this. I have been held back unintentionally and I have held People I'd say people back Unintentionally. I've told this story before but I do not have a better story and I don't know if there's a better illustration of one of the major reasons people unintentionally are holding you back.

Speaker 1:

I had a partner who I Lived within Boston and this partner was very, very aspirational. She had very big goals. She had very big dreams. At the time we lived in Boston, so we lived in Massachusetts. She wanted to live on the West Coast. She had always wanted to go to California and that was one of her Focuses, that was one of her passions. She really wanted to move out to California and we started having conversations about this and I Remember that I was very I Won't say happy with my job because I I enjoyed the money. I didn't necessarily enjoy all the Things that went into my job, but I remember feeling like I actually had a real job. I said this could be a long-term career. I feel like I'm ready to stay put. For the first time in my life, I really feel like I've created a lot of things here. She wanted to uproot and move across the country and she said I'll help you find a job. We can, I'll help us find a place. Like everything, I'll take care of almost anything. You just have to come with me.

Speaker 1:

And I Was so insecure. I was super insecure about the whole thing. Part of it was the fact that I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay put because I had a level of success that I never thought I was gonna get. The other part of it for me was I. I Felt like I was stuck between a rock and hard place because I knew if I didn't go, she was probably gonna leave me. So in my mind I Tried to figure out a way. And again, none of this is conscious. I didn't know this was what was going on in my brain, but I tried to figure out a way to get her to stay and not leave me. I Was very insecure. Like I said, I was afraid that if she decided to go through with this, she was gonna leave me behind. I Was gonna get left behind now, obviously, not in every scenario is it gonna be like this, but it could be Something as simple.

Speaker 1:

As you want to go, you want to get in another job. That's an hour from where you live and all of your friends and your friend group they all live close by and they work within 10 minutes of each other and you go to your friends and you say, hey, I have this job opportunity. It's an hour away and everybody says no, the subconsciously, they might be afraid that you're gonna meet new people that you're going to. Maybe you're gonna go to a new bar and meet other people. You're gonna have a new friend group. You're not gonna hang out with them as much anymore.

Speaker 1:

That was my big fear. My big fear was okay, this person is very ambitious. They want to chase their dreams. I don't want to be a part of that, because there's a big part of me that doesn't believe I'm even gonna be able to keep up. I have to get them to stay here, and I remember having that conversation with with my partner at the time.

Speaker 1:

I said California is super expensive. You're gonna have to drive across the country, you're everything in California. The gas is super expensive, registering your car, you don't have a job lined up, where are you gonna live? And what if it doesn't work out? This person ended up leaving me, as they should have in retrospect. But the the big reason I Subconsciously, unconsciously, unintentionally held this person back, as it was fear of being left behind. I would rather you stay with me and stay small, then be big and leave me behind. That was that was my thought at the time, and this person ended up leaving me behind. Now, that's one thought, and I know, alan, you have thoughts on that.

Speaker 1:

Second thought as you know, alan and I are both cat dads, pet dads Alan as a dog as well, and two kitties, one dog, and I Am a nervous cat dad. Taran has had cats in the past. I've never had cats. So we have this armoire armoire, however you pronounce it in our bedroom and it's very high. It's like right at the ceiling, and Ace can literally jump from the bed to the top of this armoire, and the first time he did it I said babe, I think I got to help him get down, like there's no way he's gonna be able to jump down from there. And she said, kev, he's fine, he's a cat, he's fine. If he can get up there, he can get down. And I remember Getting up there and pulling him down now, if you can get up there, he can get down. So he would have been safe. The the fear I had was he was gonna hurt himself.

Speaker 2:

I thought he was gonna hurting himself doing this much.

Speaker 1:

No. So fudge broke his hip, probably Maybe eight months after we got them, but they said that it was a. It was like a hereditary thing. It wasn't that he didn't necessarily jump from anything. It could have happened with him just walking, so it was more of a hereditary. What's the proper term for that? No, hereditary genetic. It was a genetic thing and they said it could.

Speaker 1:

They said it could happen up to two years. Luckily they just passed two years, so he should be good. But imagine if Ace and I could communicate. And Ace is the one who jumps up top and I said hey, man, it's not that I don't want you to do this, I want you to have fun. I know you're athletic, it's not that I don't believe that you can do this, I'm just afraid you're gonna get hurt. Man, I would hate for you to jump down and step the wrong way and break a leg. You'd be miserable. I don't want that to happen to you. Obviously, I can't do that. He doesn't understand what I'm saying. But that's the second reason.

Speaker 1:

A lot of us are being unintentionally held back by people who are just afraid to see us lose. I Remember when I left my job and I went to my mom and my grandmother and I told them I was gonna be an entrepreneur. My grandmother wanted me to go get another job, not that she didn't want to see me live my dreams or accomplish my goals. I think she was afraid I was gonna fail and she was afraid what that would end up looking like. What if you end up broke? What if you end up? Because that was the thought what are you gonna, how are you gonna pay your bills, how are you gonna pay for your car, all that stuff? So I would say those are two big reasons why people unintentionally hold us back one fear of being left behind, to fear of your failure, and then maybe to a Fear of what your failure means to their reputation and your relationship together.

Speaker 2:

Well, the, the keyword and all that have is fear. Oh, fear holds us back. When we're afraid, we're afraid we're not gonna make it. We're afraid we're not gonna Be good enough. We're afraid we're not gonna be smart enough. We're afraid xyz. My fears were a little different at the beginning of the journey and my fear was Actually outgrowing people and being alone. That was one of my fears, and Some of these fears are rooted in valid things.

Speaker 2:

You know ace very well, could have gotten hurt up there. Hmm, as we have a new kitten, her name is tiger Lily, tillie for short, and the things that tillie is experimenting with are extremely hard for me to watch, because Emilia says the same thing like she's gonna have to fail right, gonna be fine, like she's gonna have to hurt herself and it's. I understand, but if so, toriel and tillie will grapple and Tillie thinks she's hot shit and Toriel is three times her size and and tillie doesn't understand that Toriel could essentially kill her at any time and Toriel doesn't understand that tillie, toriel doesn't know her own strength. She's only one. So today is actually Toriel's birthday, but I am freaking out for sure when they're wrestling, because tillie is only six weeks old, or seven weeks old or something like that, and she's acting like she's the most. She's such a confident little kitten, and confidence is dangerous if you're going up against a cat that's four times your size or five times your size, and then Tariel has no idea how strong she is. So she because.

Speaker 2:

And then you've got Tucker, who is hefty, hefty Tucker. We were on a hike recently and he was huffing and puffing and we were like we, I think we need, I think Tucker might need to go on a little bit of a diet here, just like his daddy. Tucker comes in full speed, full momentum. He's at least 15 pounds, I want to say 15 pounds, and then Tariel is used to sparring with Tucker and so, anyways, the the the long and short of this is I'm fearful that Tiger Lily is gonna get hurt or stepped on or rolled over or fall off the bed and hurt herself or whatever.

Speaker 2:

And so of course I hold Tiger Lily back a little bit with being over protective, and all of us have had parents that are either over protective or under protective. All of us can think back. I mean, I'm 34, kevin's 34, so even let's just use us as an example we always I'm always afraid the listeners are gonna think we talk about ourselves all the time. Really, we're trying to lead by example. I just want to make that clear. We're leading by example and for me, I had parents that were under protective. It was some of the things that I was allowed to do. In hindsight were very reckless and very dangerous.

Speaker 2:

I think you also had under protective okay everyone is either under protective or over protective and, by the way, those are the only two options. No one's perfect. No one's no one's perfectly centered in the amount of protectiveness. You know, I have a client who I coached for many years, who had helicopter parents, who was way over protective and she, she was protected from any, every uncomfortable truth, and she was protected from every difficult conversation about money and she was protected from every you have like a helicopter going on.

Speaker 2:

No, they're, they're mowing outside okay, they're mowing, they're mowing, I just want to make sure it's not on my end. So at the end of the day, it's fear. You're either afraid you're gonna hold the other person back so you let them do whatever they want and don't even give your input and you seem like you don't care, or you're over protective and you're holding them back because you're so afraid they're gonna get hurt. You're so afraid they're gonna fail. You're so afraid they're gonna look bad and that's gonna make you look bad or whatever. At the end of the day, it's all just fear, and I think that in hindsight I wish that I had understood that more, because it always felt so personal. I've had big goals and dreams my entire life, even when I was a little boy, and I never understood why.

Speaker 2:

I'll give a tiny example even me and my buddy, we really wanted to go and be professional gamers, and this was early on. And this was back in the Halo one days when, when there wasn't even Xbox live yet and for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, there was. It was pre-internet online gaming and there was still the internet and there was online games, but not for consoles. And I remember we got invited to a tournament with some of the best players in the world and one of my friends couldn't go because his mom wanted him to play outside more. She didn't think video games were gonna be lucrative, she didn't think video games were a good option and her fear that her son was gonna be a failure and play video games his whole life instead of be successful. Did she have his best interest at heart? Yeah, maybe, but her belief system was in accurate. Obviously, pro gamers do very well for themselves and obviously things have gone a little differently than she thought. She thought playing sports was the way and a lot of athletes do really well, but so do e-sports athletes, but e-sports didn't exist back then.

Speaker 2:

So again, I think the point that I'm really trying to help land here and this is for me too, because I was always the one who was taking it personally when people would constantly take wind out of my sails. I mean you can't do that, you can't make that happen, you can't xyz. And we met someone in Boston who had a podcast called ignore the naysayers and I just adored that podcast title because if I had listened to people at the beginning of this journey, there's no way Kevin and I could have gotten here. So here's the the lesson it's rooted in fear. It's rooted in their belief systems, and their belief systems might be inaccurate. They also might be accurate. You know, gas prices were higher in California, all those things you pointed to.

Speaker 2:

But if you had been vulnerable and just told her the truth and said, listen, I'm afraid you're gonna outgrow me, and then she could have made an accurate decision, not based on all the nonsense that you spewed, but based on the reality.

Speaker 2:

And what's ironic is, if you had actually been vulnerable and courageous enough to tell her that, I bet you she wouldn't have left you and who knows what would have happened. But hopefully all of us can face our own fears enough and be courageous enough to say listen, I'm afraid of x, y and z, and I don't know if that's accurate or not. I do this with Emilia in business. She wants to try this new business endeavor and I say I personally think that's a bad idea, but I also know you need to try, but from my perspective that won't work and here's the reasons why. But if you need to go, do it anyway. I support you and I think that's what a true mature individual does and you just have to realize that most people aren't at that level, and it took me 34 years to get there, so I get it.

Speaker 1:

I remember Alan and I were hanging out in our studio and by studio I mean one of the bedrooms and his mother's home and Alan said hey, man, I got some some pretty interesting news today. And I said what do you got, man? What's happening? He said well, somebody reached out to me and they want me to be on a TV show. And I was like okay, what show? He said you ever heard of Love Island? I said I've never heard of Love Island. He's like let me show you. And we.

Speaker 2:

I think we watched UK at the time.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it was big in the UK. Now it's big on Netflix too. I Think we watched like 15 minutes of an episode and and I remember we had a conversation and I said, alan, you can't do this, you definitely can't do this. This can't happen ever. This could never happen, no way. This would be terrible for us.

Speaker 1:

I Don't know what percentage it was, but there was definitely a percentage of me thinking I don't know if Alan goes off to this tropical island with these beautiful people and a drinking problem, he may never come back and the hyper conscious podcast might cease to exist. There was a definitely a part of me that was afraid of being left behind. For sure You're gonna forget about Kev, little Uxbridge Kev, when you're hanging out with all these people out of this tropical island. I'm not coming. I didn't get an invite. They didn't email me. Maybe you know, maybe I'm a foot too short and and not model enough, I don't know, but I didn't get an email. But there was definitely a part of me that was yeah, there was a part of me that I was subconsciously afraid you'd leave me behind. We weren't super. I mean, we were serious into the podcast, but not like we are today. We didn't have a business.

Speaker 1:

Yeah we didn't have a team you and I weren't as many episodes in I Was afraid. I was afraid that you, that would be the new thing now. At the time obviously I didn't understand how important this was to you. Self-improvement, growth, impact, all that I didn't understand. But I have been.

Speaker 1:

I have been on that end of unintentionally holding people back several times Now. I think that was the right thing and I think the balance I don't think it was 90% fear of being left behind, 10% logic. I think it was probably the other way. Honestly, it was probably like 70% logic, 30% fear of being left behind.

Speaker 1:

But I've I have empathy now for anybody who's trying to protect me, because I know what it's like on the other side. I, I know it's not a me thing and I also at this stage is not a lot of that. You see people's true colors Over the course of time enough and you realize, okay, this person, you're not really capable of supporting me. I want you, I appreciate the fact you want me to stay safe. I do, but it can't have my judgment clouded with that. This is already challenging enough. So I do I have empathy for both sides because I've I've been on both sides and I know what it's like to be scarce and I know what it's like to be afraid and I know what it's like to think You're gonna lose someone. I have Very familiar feelings of that, so I definitely understand both sides.

Speaker 2:

I Just connected this and I don't think I realized I Told kev that I'm gonna share a story that really powerfully illustrates this and I'm still gonna share that in a second Maybe. Underneath all of it, maybe I wasn't really mad at the other person. Maybe I was mad at myself for not trusting my own judgment, because at the end of the day, even if it was 90 10 and I it wasn't I know it wasn't I could kind of tell that it wasn't by the way, because at that point I had I was in my late 20s, I was definitely Unreasonably fit as a fitness model and it makes sense why they wanted me on the show. I get it. I did several interviews. It was, it was a whole thing as Arrogance that might have sounded, but I'm, I was who they were looking for, except you're just you were.

Speaker 1:

They asked you if you were always so smart. Yeah, it's the only review. Maybe a little too smart.

Speaker 2:

I've done a lot of interviews in my life Incorporated.

Speaker 2:

I am probably a hundred, I don't know lots and lots of interviews, phone interviews and follow-up interviews and in-person interviews. That interview I Think it's the only time we're being smart was a bad thing. So anyways, even if it was 90% scarcity which it wasn't I think I'm upset with myself More than anything of letting other people's opinions hold me back because if you think about it, right, the naysayers I've never not had naysayers in my life, genuinely. I even had people reach out and say, hey, honestly, I'm really sorry I was such a dick and you know you really were, you really really were. And I get it kind of, because what we were doing was very, very rare. But just because you don't think you can do it does not mean we can't, and I think that's a little bit ignorant, but at the end of the day I get it. So what I'm really upset with underneath it all is my own inability to trust my own gut over someone else's opinion, and usually I did trust myself and just do it anyway, and I, I think I it also makes sense because Kevin and I spend our life trying to help support people's dreams, trying to help support people's goals, trying to help People aspire bigger and better and go, do it and put wind into your sales. So maybe in some ways this wouldn't have happened had I had I not had so much wind taken out of mine. But I digress the story that I wanted to share for this and I told kev when I share this story, I have to be upfront and give a disclaimer. Please don't shut off to the story because it's so powerful, the lesson is so powerful. I think it's a true story, but I cannot confirm that and I haven't done the research to actually confirm it. So I'm just gonna tell it as if it's true. But I'm gonna tell you upfront that I'm not sure if it is true. Okay, but the lesson is super powerful either way. All right. So this story is something I used to say Early in business, eight years ago, and I used to give this in my speeches because I think it's really powerful.

Speaker 2:

It's called the four monkeys, all right. So there's researchers that have a room and there's a Giant pole with bananas at the top and they have a really hungry monkey that they put in the room and then they observe and the researchers are just observing this monkey and the monkey goes to climb up To get the bananas and every time it touches a banana. There is a mechanism that sprays the monkey in the face with cold water. Okay, probably not an ethical research thing, but okay, spray in the face with cold water every time it touches a banana. Okay, so Monkey 1 is like trying, trying, trying, spray, spray, spray, okay, f this I'm done.

Speaker 2:

Second Monkey gets put in the room. The second Monkey has no idea that there's cold water or spraying in the face. And the second Monkey's look at the first Monkey, go and hey, what's the deal? Let's, these are bananas. What are we doing here? Let's get these bananas. Man, you can climb, I can climb, let's do it. Second Monkey goes to get the bananas. First Monkey pulls the second Monkey down, again protecting the second Monkey. Third Monkey comes in same deal, but both Monkeys are pulling the third one down Again, protecting, protecting, protecting. They take the three first Monkeys out of the room and they bring in a fourth Monkey. First, they bring in the fourth Monkey and then they take the three out.

Speaker 2:

Eventually there's a Monkey in the room Kev, that has never been sprayed, who? And the Monkey's sitting there in a room with a pole with bananas at the top and it won't climb and it has no idea why the reason that story is so powerful is because I believe that's what happens to human beings too. You have your grandfather and grandmother's beliefs and you have your mother and father's beliefs and they're passed down generation to generation, to generation to generation to generation. Whether it's the four minute mile with Roger Bannister and how a bunch of people run four minute miles now thousands, I think, maybe more than that, tens of thousands, I don't know. But the point is is in the 1950s it was believed to be impossible to run a four minute mile, and now people do it in high school.

Speaker 2:

So, yes, people are going to hold you back, but it's not necessarily because what you're doing is impossible.

Speaker 2:

It might be just their fear. It's called learned helplessness. There's that monkey, we're all that monkey in a room. In some ways there's bananas right there. We can totally climb, it's all good, all the danger is gone, but you don't climb and you don't know why. And it's called learned helplessness. And so two reasons why people unintentionally hold you back they're afraid. They're afraid to look bad. They're afraid to be friends with someone who looks bad. They're embarrassed for you. Have you ever watched a movie that's cringe worthy? Kevin and I watched Meet the Parents and it's I'm embarrassed for him. It feels uncomfortable to watch him just Mess everything up all the time, all the time, and it's hilarious, but it's cringe worthy. And so there's reasons why people are holding you back, and it might not be conscious, it probably isn't conscious and it's most likely unconscious fears, and so you got to trust yourself over them and at least that way you won't have what if and it's a good Filter to run through.

Speaker 1:

When you're giving someone advice, ask yourself when is this? It giving or receiving advice? Where is this advice coming from? Either way, when I give advice, am I thinking, ah, what if this person, if I give them this advice, are they gonna leave us? We're not gonna listen to the show anymore, they're not gonna work with us anymore. I've I had clients recently I told you this where I said if, if money is tight, I would cancel everything, including us. I would cancel nlps, cancel it and come back when you're ready. I I want my advice to be on the truth and on what I believe is best for them, not what's best for me.

Speaker 2:

Think about how hard that would be if you and I were back against it. Oh, it's suck, I'm. If we weren't in abundance and we weren't in an abundant place. How hard would it be for you to give that?

Speaker 1:

advice. It might not even be possible.

Speaker 2:

I'd like to think yeah, I'd like to think that's how my character, but I don't know it's easier metaphor for self-belief, because I believe if you don't believe in yourself, you're gonna unintentionally hold people back because you're living in fear. Yeah, that's fair.

Speaker 1:

No, I was gonna say I, as much as I'd like to think I would do it regardless. It's a lot easier when you have 50 clients and is when you have five. You know. So it's a it's a lot easier. But I also, now more than ever, have the belief that if you do that, people know what's real, people know when you're really looking out for them and they appreciate that. So that does come back karma. Whatever you want, I think it's just being a good person. But yeah, this is.

Speaker 1:

This is an important one. I don't know, maybe you haven't been on both ends. Maybe maybe you've only been on one end. I can't imagine somebody who hasn't been on at least one end. What is your relationship with your end and what is your relationship with the other, the other end? Are you villainizing the people who are unintentionally holding you back? There might be some. That would be my next. All the nugget. There might be some room for growth in, in imagining what it would be like to be on their end. I'm not saying you have to forgive or forget or any of that, but I think the perspective and having an open mind would be beneficial. That would be my next level nugget.

Speaker 2:

So so you do think I should have gotten drunk on love island then.

Speaker 1:

I think it would have been awesome, it would have been pretty cool. But Really what I was thinking is I could just get stilts, get some blonde hair and you just send me out.

Speaker 2:

I'm a blast. I'm a blast. I probably crushed on a show like that.

Speaker 1:

So no, I think, I think you made the right choice, definitely definitely I Haven't drank since.

Speaker 2:

No, I was already. I'd already quit drinking by that point, but I was like, am I gonna be able to read books on the island? You know it's funny and and hey, what are your thoughts on me not drinking and all that, but anyways. So my next level, nugget Trust your own. Take in the information from others. Just ask yourself what percentage of it is fear, what percentage of it is accurate. I think that's better. Okay, I Think people are unintentionally full of it.

Speaker 2:

They just don't know. Okay, at the beginning people said there's no way you can do that. There's no. I'll give one example. Someone said there's no money in podcasting. And Wow, that advice. That might be that other person's belief. They actually think that they're just wrong. They're just inaccurate. Now, do most podcasts make money? No, so they are accurate in some senses. So you just you have to sift through other people's inaccurate beliefs, because everyone wants to help you and sometimes they think they're helping you when in reality they're actually distorting you and that's there's a whole. There's a whole bunch more episodes we could do about that. But at the end of the day, don't take advice from people who don't know what they're talking about, and Maybe you got to take a chance on you. Maybe you are more accurate than you think, maybe maybe that idea You'd be better off trying and failing, and then that failure might lead to a lesson that brings you to something else. It's better than just pre supposing that it's not gonna work because everyone thinks it's not gonna work.

Speaker 1:

I and if you want to get blackout drunk on national television for Love Island, that's for you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and maybe that's the path here you should look.

Speaker 1:

If we weren't in self-improvement, I probably would have said hey, man, let's you know, take one for this three months, take one for the team. If we were a comedy podcast, that would be the way that would be though that would be the way.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but we're not self-improvement, holistic self-improvement yeah, there's no way we can align that. I don't think.

Speaker 1:

I tried to. I try to bring a little comedy, but we're not a comedy podcast.

Speaker 2:

If it was a, we're a self-improvement podcast with a little bit of comedy. Versus a comedy podcast with a little bit of self-improvement see the difference, I do see the difference next of a nation.

Speaker 1:

If you are Trying to find a new tribe of people who will put wind into your sails Regardless of themselves, those the right people to have, people who want what's best for you regardless of themselves, please join our private Facebook group. Next level nation link will be in the show notes.

Speaker 2:

So if you are listening to this on the day that it launches, that means it is Thursday and we have a monthly meetup tomorrow night. So September 1st it's a Friday. Normally we do the monthly meetups on Thursday, but this one will be on a Friday because Kevin will be in Belgium having waffles and beer and other thing and beer and other waffles, chocolate and beer. Waffles, chocolate and beer in Belgium also real quick.

Speaker 1:

Waffles was ace's name before we renamed him ace. Oh, he's an ace, he's not waffles. Get out of here with that.

Speaker 2:

I See you. I actually respect it. I think ace is a great name. So this monthly meetup is dealing with the fear of judgment and rejection, which goes very well with what we just talked about. If you cannot deal with other people judging what you're doing, you're in serious trouble when it comes to your goals and dreams, because people are going to judge you, whether you want them to or not. Even if, anytime, you go outside of alignment with other people's belief systems, they do judge you, at least a little bit. So if you're gonna chase your dreams, you're gonna achieve your goals. You're gonna have to be willing to put yourself out there, and if you put yourself out there, you're gonna risk judgment. You're gonna risk rejection. So September 1st, 6 pm, eastern Standard Time it's a Friday. Join us I.

Speaker 2:

The story that I have for this, very, very, very briefly, is if I was afraid, if I allowed the fear of rejection to stop me, I would never have been with Emilia. I Sent her three different DMs because her Facebook said she was in a relationship, but there was no men to be found. I did my research online and this was long, three and a half years ago, and I sent unsent three DMs because I thought she was in a relationship and Eventually I had the courage to say you know what? I'm just gonna not unsend this thing. And it said are you true or false? You're in a relationship.

Speaker 2:

And she said yes with myself and we were off to the races after that. We were inseparable ever since, and here we are coming up on our four-year anniversary soon, in October. And If I had allowed the fear of rejection and embarrassment to stop me, I would have stopped myself from the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, and the the truth of that statement is alarming. Where else have I held myself back without knowing it? So that's what that episode is about, or that meetup is about. Rather, join us and Overcome this fear once and for all.

Speaker 1:

Once and for all Strong work. Thanks, man. What number am I on the list of best things that ever has ever happened to you? I'm in top 10.

Speaker 2:

Oh definitely top 10 definitely. I accept that probably top three on no, no.

Speaker 1:

We can stop there. I'm good with top 10. Okay. I don't want to get my heart broken. It's number three. It's like well, what about number two? You know there's a lot of yeah, okay, tomorrow for episode number 1446, how to actually ask for help. Alan and I are in a very unique position because we have gotten asked. We have gotten asked for help. I don't know.

Speaker 1:

A lot of people have asked us for help and there's definitely a way to go about it, and there are definitely many ways not to go about it. I think that's why a lot of us are afraid to ask in the first place, because we don't want to look bad or a certain way. So I thought it would be a valuable episode to do so. We do that tomorrow. I was, as always we we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you. It's just replaying in my head. You know, when you mess up, it just replays in your head. And, as always at NLU, you don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Speaker 2:

Don't let anyone hold you back. Next level mission.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Alan Lazaros

Host
Head Shot

Kevin Palmieri

Host