Next Level University

#1451 - The Results You Desire Are Hidden In The Work You Don’t

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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The reality of achieving dreams is more challenging than it is often portrayed. The journey towards achieving goals is likened to sailing in a turbulent sea. Today, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros discuss the vital role of grit and sacrifice in shaping our destinies. They talk about fear and discomfort as hidden gatekeepers on the path to success. They share insights on how confronting these hurdles, instead of avoiding them, is crucial in pursuing one's dreams. Stepping up and doing the hard, uncomfortable, yet necessary work will help you reach your goals.

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Show notes:
[0:00] Intro
[3:00] Results come with downsides
[8:48] An aspect that you love and another that you hate
[13:16] Kim thanks Kevin for going above and beyond in helping launch the Peaceful Productivity podcast
[15:50] Expect resistance or hardship
[20:37] Spend 80% of your focus on the part you hate
[25:29] Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Speaker 1:

Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed our latest episode, episode number 1450. What you focus on expands today for episode number 1451. The results you desire are hidden in the work you don't. If you're listening to this, you obviously are listening. I am in Europe right now. Oh, this is the future.

Speaker 2:

Oh.

Speaker 1:

Would you like to wild?

Speaker 2:

isn't that wild? Not even a little bit.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I.

Speaker 2:

Did.

Speaker 1:

I did a video recently after a workout. I Said this might not be a breakthrough fact. Maybe you've thought of this, maybe you have it, I don't know. It's kind of a breakthrough fact for me when I think about it. The reason most of us don't accomplish our goals is not because we do not desire the goals. We want the goals. That's why we set them. We want to make more money, we want to be in better shape, we want to have our dream relationship, we want to be more successful, we want more clients. Whatever it is, the reason we don't accomplish our goals is because we are not willing to do what it takes to accomplish the goals. We all love the goals. Goals are awesome, the views are awesome, it's great climbing it's. It's great getting the view from the top of the mountain. But sometimes the hike kind of sucks. And I Wondered and I said this in the video I said I wonder if we just started to admit that more, if we'd be more successful.

Speaker 2:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:

I don't. I do enjoy working out. I do. I enjoy working out. I really do. I love lifting weights. I do, but I don't always. I don't always. I Definitely don't like tracking calories. I don't enjoy that, I don't.

Speaker 1:

I don't yeah when I'm losing weight. It sucks, it's the process of it sucks and I wonder. I Really wonder, now more than ever, how many times we have to be tricked into thinking we can get results that we desire without work that we don't. Because if you think of it, every ad we've ever seen is this it's, I can help you get the results you want without any of the work you don't really. I can help you get all the results you want without any of the the downside, any of the pain, any of the potential sacrifice, any of that, and I think that's a lot of the messages. So that's what we want to jam on today. There are a Lot of things that we really, really, really want, but most of them unfortunately require a Lot of things that we don't want.

Speaker 1:

And if you just look at it logically, from a second or for a second, the obesity rate is the highest it's ever been, at least in the US. It's not because people don't want to be healthier most likely Mm-hmm, but it's probably harder to be healthier than it ever has. That, considering right, considering there's a fast food store on every and again I'm not saying it's there is a responsibility and ownership that we must take. I mean, yes, but there's also a gym on every corner now too. Yeah, which is which? That's? That's part of it. And Treadmills. You could get a treadmill now for a couple hundred bucks at your house. That's, it's cheaper than it's ever been.

Speaker 1:

So, with all of the Opportunity to fall off track, there's also opportunity to stay on track. But I really think to myself there's a lot of struggles going on and I don't believe it's because people don't have the goals of not having those struggles. I think because what it takes to get out of those struggles are challenging and sucks. It's not easy, it's, it's a challenge, rather than Kidding ourselves and saying, well, it should be easy. Building a business should be easy, having your dream relationship should be easy, losing weight should be easy, whatever. What if we just admitted you know what this? This probably is kind of gonna suck, but I do believe the result at the end will be worth the effort that I must put in to get it. I.

Speaker 2:

Think that's one of the most empowering thoughts in the world. It just doesn't seem like it on the surface. I agree, one of the most empowering thoughts in the world is this is gonna suck, and, and I'm gonna do it anyway because it will be worth it versus someone who is trying to spend their life avoiding hard things. The reason for this episode is I created a, a new framework that I'm gonna start using a lot, and I actually wanted to sit down with Kev and we're gonna do this at some point, kev when we talk about all the things we want to accomplish.

Speaker 2:

To know you, we want to build a multi-million dollar business. We want to have millions of listeners all over the world. We want to have a bigger impact. We want to increase gross revenue. We want hundreds of clients. We want, want, want, want, want, want. Great wanting is the first step. That's awesome, but there's two other parts of this equation that we're not talking about, and I call it want love hate. Emilia is calling it rosebud thorn. Want love hate is what I'm gonna call it. Okay, not to be confused with the, the, the f, the marry and the kill or whatever that people do when we're kids.

Speaker 1:

Want love hate people still do it. Of course, just say bang, marry kill To have sex with marry kill. It's still happening. Definitely Okay, that's still a thing. No force, okay, fair.

Speaker 2:

I don't think it's been a thing for me since middle school, but all right. So want love hate is the new framework. Do not forget that. Want love hate, want love hate, want love hate.

Speaker 2:

Okay, my example is fitness. I want an extraordinary physique. I value it so deeply. I Love weight training, specifically weight training I do love. Now, that doesn't mean I always want to go. That doesn't mean I always love it. That doesn't mean I'm always pumped. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. That doesn't mean that it doesn't ever suck. Okay, but overall, as far as things that I love, weight training is my favorite. Okay. So I want a great physique and I love weight training. Great.

Speaker 2:

I hate, absolutely despise mobility. I hate it so much. Now, here's the interesting thing if I want a great physique, I have to weight train Consistently and really well. If I want to weight train consistently and really well, guess what I need to do as I get older? More mobility.

Speaker 2:

I Am convinced you, after coaching hundreds of people from all over the world, all different backgrounds, 4500 hours plus of coaching, one-on-one, trying to help people achieve their goals, I am convinced that everything we want has something about it that we love and something about it that we hate. And if you can't do the things that you hate, I am convinced that you will not achieve your dreams, and one thing I will say is you can hire someone to do the things that you hate. That is a possibility. A lot of people have executive admins I just got one and they can help you with things that you hate. And if you really want the cheat code, what you would do is find someone who loves the things you hate.

Speaker 2:

But there are certain things you can't delegate. I can't have Emilia do my mobility for me. You know what I mean. But I can sit down with Emilia and say listen, I don't mind dishes. You hate dishes, I'll do the dishes. I don't mind them at all. No problem, I'm kitchen man. I'm doing kitchen every day. I have no problem with that whatsoever. She was forced to do the dishes growing up, so she does the kitty litter, I do the dishes.

Speaker 1:

I'm doing kitchen every day. I can't I kitchen man, I do.

Speaker 2:

I speak in the mic every day, but, at the end of the day, kevin and I love podcasting, but the things that we've had to do to build this business and build a business around podcasting that allows us to podcast and having an impact a lot of that we hated, and it's very hard to articulate this, but I am convinced that everything you want in life has some aspects of it that you really do love, that you really do adore. There's probably some that you're like, ah, I could take it or leave it, and then there's definitely some things that you just can't stand, and I think that if you're honest with yourself, like I am about mobility, you can get through it, grind it out. Maybe this podcast doesn't feel like a grind, but the audio editing definitely did. You know and that's the thing I talked about on the last episode two episodes ago how I started a YouTube channel.

Speaker 2:

I absolutely hated every part of that, except for the sitting in front of the camera and speaking my truth into it, but I didn't like any of the other parts, and so, hopefully, what you can do is just and this is what Kevin and I are going to do we're going to sit down and list out all the things we want to achieve. We're going to list down, list out all the things we love, all the things he loves and all the things I love, and then we're going to list out all the things we hate. And if there's anything that I love that he hates, I'm going to do it. And if there's anything that he loves that I hate, he's going to do it. And if there's anything that both of us hate, we're going to either delegate it, if we can, to someone who loves that thing, or we're going to just grind it out.

Speaker 1:

So you have you ever seen a video of somebody during a marathon enjoying it? I don't know if I ever have, but you always see the, the picture of them crossing the finish line. I Think that's a really good analogy, and this is a little bit heavier. This is a heavier thought, but I wonder if we lose sight of the fact that, yes, again speaking of the US, we live in a country that has a ton of opportunity and Many of our basic human needs are really quite taken care of. You don't have to think about a lot of stuff, but if you were to think of, there are places in the world where people have to and this is not an exaggeration they have to walk miles for clean water every single day. I Doubt they enjoy the walk, but they have to do it to get water. They need. They need the water to survive, quite literally. If they, if they said to themselves why only I Only want to do what I enjoy today, but I do want to get that result, they probably would never get that result. Things, things would be very bad for them. Now again, I know that's a heavy Example, our analogy, your anecdote, whatever it is. I should probably figure out what it is. But I think we've lost sight of that. I agree we you're.

Speaker 1:

You're not entitled to success. You're not entitled to having your dream relationship. You're not entitled to being financially free. You're not entitled to having that, to being in really good shape. Unfortunately, it's not a guarantee it for most of us. It's not a guarantee. For many of us. It may never happen Any of those things. They may never happen, but a lot of it is because we're not willing to do what it takes to to actually accomplish it. And for you out there, that might be going to therapy. Maybe. Maybe one of the reasons you don't have your dream partner yet Is because you have some Unresolved trauma and triggers from the past and you've been saying you know what. I should really go to therapy, but it's gonna suck now I'm not gonna do it.

Speaker 1:

That might be the thing stopping you from getting something. It sucks, sure, but you have to believe that the upside will be worth the downside. And I Don't know, I know, maybe it seems empowering to say there's no such thing as sacrificing. You shouldn't ever have to struggle, you shouldn't ever have to suffer. I don't know. I'd rather have the truth and again One of the best stories ever for this. When I signed up with a fitness coach for a bodybuilding show, he said if you want to win, you will suffer more than anybody else I would have. I Wouldn't have won or had the same experience I had. If he said, kev, this is gonna be super easy. Yeah, it won't be that bad. It's not gonna be that bad.

Speaker 2:

Can you imagine said that imagine what would have happened.

Speaker 1:

The first, the first day.

Speaker 2:

It was like this is the worst.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I was lied to. You lied to. You lied to me. You told me this can be easy. This wasn't easy. This is terrible. It's one of the hardest things that I've done in my life. I'd rather just know that same, because at least you're aware, going into it, at least you're aware I I had a podcast breakthrough session today and and I now I'm realizing this builds credibility more than anything it's starting to switch?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, same, I'm doing the same thing. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

These two potential clients said so, if we do work with you, what? What kind of results can we expect? And I said, well, I, my belief is you can expect better results than us, with us, than anybody else. That is my honest belief. I believe in that. That's my honesty. But I said, at the end of the day, it depends on the level of work you want to do. It depends on a lot of things. What kind of connections do you have? How good of a speaker are you? What do you know about business? How consistent are you? How much grit do you have? How much work are you trying to actually do? If you're just doing this because you think it's, it's an easy way to do whatever, it's not. It's not. It's going to be harder than you think, most likely you still want to work together.

Speaker 2:

Podcasting Can you imagine if someone thought that's an easy way to make money?

Speaker 1:

I think a lot of people do, because a lot of people are saying I have a course and it's going to teach you how to launch a top 100 top 10 podcast. And again, I've launched top 10 podcast. I we just launched Evan Carmichael show. It's not what you think. It is most likely Nothing is. It's not just the pot. I'm not trying to dissuade you from starting a podcast or YouTube channel or coaching. No, no. I just want you to have realistic expectations and there are certain things and nobody's ever going to try to sell a course on how to make climbing Mount Everest easy. It's not going to sell. One of the reasons people do it is because it's a challenge. If it was easy, nobody would do it. There's a lot of mountains that are a lot easier than Mount Everest that I've never heard of Mount Jeff Square, and I'm sure there's a Mount Jeff, mount Bradley.

Speaker 2:

Mount Bradley.

Speaker 1:

There, you go.

Speaker 2:

I climbed Mount Bradley. Emilia and I got to the top and we were like it was like seven minutes. It was like what this?

Speaker 1:

is an imagine. Where is it? We're there already. Yeah, yeah, it was a good view. Though it was a good view, I don't want this to be a negative, heavy episode. I want you to know the truth of, maybe, what I want you to say, maybe of what a new level of success is going to look like. It's going to require more resistance. That's just that. Whatever resistance shows up as maybe it's you playing the tough inner game and facing stuff that you never faced, maybe it's you being more consistent, putting your phone away, maybe it's you sacrificing eating out we were talking about Burger King in the last episode. For a long time, that wasn't happening. There was none of that. There was. Don't spend money on pizza.

Speaker 2:

We can't afford $60 on pizza right now, I know, I remember that was brutal.

Speaker 1:

Right we get. Our credit card got declined when we tried to buy two muffins and two coffees at the studio one time. That sucks.

Speaker 1:

That was brutal, yeah, that was brutal If, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if. Somebody out there is trying to convince you that you can get all of the results Without any of the downside, I would question that, because they the way they got to where they are. Here's the thing. Maybe they got to where they are by. In a way, they got all the upside with very little of the downside, because they convinced people they knew how to help them get there without the downside and they. That's how they got there.

Speaker 1:

I'm not saying that everybody's like that. There's a lot of people out there that aren't like that. But you need to know, at the end of the day, that your, your goals are great and they're positive, most likely, and they're probably gonna be super fulfilling and you're gonna be so proud of yourself when you get them. Just make sure you understand what comes with. The goal is usually the stuff that you don't want to do, because if you did want to do it, it wouldn't be a goal. You'd already have it and be a reality.

Speaker 2:

I Want a magnificent relationship. I Love being with Emilia. I can't stand therapy and Emilia came to me at one point in our relationship and said you don't have to do this, but I recommend it. I've been doing therapy since I was 12 and it's you're leaving a lot on the table and, don't kid yourself, you're leaving leaving a lot for our relationship on the table as well, and she's been. I mean, it's been so true. I've helped. I've learned more from my therapist that I've helped my clients with. It's unbelievable. The point that I'm making is I Agree with you, kev I.

Speaker 2:

I think social media is full of what people want. I Think it is Not showing nearly as much of what people don't want, so want love hate. I want a great relationship. I love quality time. I hate Uncomfortable conversations that are extremely difficult, that trigger my deepest vulnerabilities. No one likes that.

Speaker 2:

I was on the phone earlier with An L you team member and she said everyone wants the picture of Me and my, my son and my whole beautiful family when he graduates from high school. No one wants the poopy diapers. Hmm, but there's no such thing. I believe actually and this will be the last thing I share I think that if you really, really, really want to crush it and you really really are serious and you really want to get to the next level. And, by the way, I'm not saying you have to do this. I was on the phone earlier with another team member and I asked listen, what matters to you more, quality of life or success? She said quality of life. I said do not be an entrepreneur, do not be an entrepreneur. If quality of life matters to you more, you shouldn't be an entrepreneur. Go get a job that pays you well, that you can enjoy what you do to a decent extent, but enjoy your life. Hmm, if what we do, if what Kevin and I do podcasting and speaking and coaching and consulting and motivation, inspiration, social media and leading a team leadership if that excites you. Just remember, the 80% of our time is spent on the things that are just brutal, especially in the early years. The early years were just brutal.

Speaker 2:

Okay, now, if you do want to get to the next level and you really do want to crush it, this is what I recommend. Write down a list. Here's the top three things that I want in 2024. Here's the things that I do love about those things. I Top three things and here's the three things that I just cannot stand. I hate these things Again, for me.

Speaker 2:

Want a great physique, love weight training, hate mobility. Okay, spend 80% of your time on the things you hate and you will crush it. You will absolutely crush it. And I don't mean 80% of your time, I mean 80% of your focus, because obviously I'm not going to do mobility for 80% of my day. If I focus on mobility, the weight training is automatic. I love weight training.

Speaker 2:

I don't struggle to go to the gym that much. Sometimes I do, but not really. I struggle to get on that mat. I struggle to get on that yoga mat. I have it right here and I can't stand it. I hate it. Now, I'm not saying that to convince myself. I hate it. I actually don't like it. I'm saying that because I want to force myself to do it anyway, and that's okay, that's okay. Again, powerful episode. I have clients that come to me and they say I want this, I love this, and usually I'm saying that here's the things that you actually have to do to achieve that, and then a lot of times they don't want to do it and I say, okay, well, then you don't get the goal. No one can do mobility for you, right, or you can delegate certain things, but do you have the revenue to actually do that? And that's a lot of the results people want are on the other end of a decade of things they don't.

Speaker 1:

You want to pay me a couple of hunts you got. Come on down, put your hand behind your back. Whatever you need help with, I'm going to give you a little mobility practice and do it for you. Couple of hunts.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'd say we can probably schedule, maybe work it out. No, but honestly, you pay a physical therapist. Why are you paying them? Because you don't want to do it yourself.

Speaker 1:

And they don't know how. And they don't know how.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you don't know how, right, but I think this is a very powerful episode, okay.

Speaker 1:

I agree. Last thing, before we get out of here, because I do have a coaching call. I was on a coaching call earlier and I said you're, I'm doing the same thing with you that you do with your clients. These clients I work with are also coaches. I said you work with people who want to be in better shape. It's not that they don't always know how. Sometimes they just need the extra necessity and accountability and that's what you're giving to them, right? And they said, yeah, so that's exactly what I'm doing with you. We're talking about the same thing, just a matter of.

Speaker 1:

I haven't figured out how to get you to do it yet. I'm just that's it. I'm working on that every single week. Every other week when we meet, same thing. I know you don't want to do it. I know, I understand, I understand, but I know you do want the results of the things you don't want to do. And until we, unless we figure out a way to get you the result in a different way which I don't believe there is yet then this is just kind of par for the course. So, yeah, it's a. It's a very important fundamental that I do believe. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. It probably is. There's a downside. There's a downside to almost everything.

Speaker 2:

So wait, Kev, let me get this straight. There's this, there's this dude Every December 25th who comes down your chimney and gives you gifts.

Speaker 1:

If you're listening, if you're a younger listener. This is a spoiler alert, Amen.

Speaker 2:

That sounds too good to be true.

Speaker 1:

Every ad is some.

Speaker 2:

Every ad is some version of that. But I don't have to do anything, just be good Again. Santa Claus isn't real. That's what this episode should be called.

Speaker 1:

And if you didn't know that, alan is the one you should villainize, not me. All right, we gotta go next elimination. If you are a podcaster you might not be, many of you probably aren't maybe you are somebody who wants to do it in the future. Maybe you've had the poll but maybe you don't feel like you have the courage yet. I'm offering a free 30 minute podcast breakthrough session. It is not a sales call. It is an opportunity to meet another podcaster who has been doing this for Six years now, full-time seven years pretty much seven years total. So any questions you have how do you make money? How do you do this? How do you audio edit any of that stuff? I would love to answer it, so the link will be in the show notes below. Again, it's free 30 minutes, me and you.

Speaker 2:

If you are ready to get to the next level and you really mean it and you're not just saying it, and you're sick and tired of being directionless, you're sick and tired of not achieving your goals, you're gonna jump on the phone with me. I'm gonna talk about what you want to achieve. We're gonna talk about the things you love and we're gonna talk about, most importantly, the things that are required that you probably Can't stand or don't want to do in order to get those results, and my job is to teach you how to do it and to hold you accountable. If you need that extra push, if you need Someone to be there and to say listen, you got to do this. I know it sucks, I hate it too, then that's what my coaching is. So if you've never booked a one-on-one session, the first breakthrough session is free for listeners. The link will be in the show notes.

Speaker 1:

Tomorrow for episode number 452, something important to know before you share your truth. Alan was in a truth telling phase one time and we didn't necessarily get the results we had desired, and we're gonna talk about that and the reasons behind that. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU, we're gonna fans. We have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Speaker 2:

Keep grinding it out. Next elimination.

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host