Next Level University

#1471 - “You Think Too Much…”

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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If you've ever been told you think too much, you may have discovered your superpower. In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros dive into the complex world of deep thinking and its untapped potential to revolutionize our lives. They talk about considering every angle before deciding and how it is not a drawback. They also discuss that the power of action is the crucial element that goes hand in hand with overthinking. Our decisions, influenced by our deep thinking, drive us forward, bringing about positive change in our lives. Our surroundings directly affect our thoughts and decisions, contributing to our growth.

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Show notes: 
[3:47] You're not thinking too much
[7:38] Thinking is what separates us
[11:08] Being an overthinker
[14:13] Chad shares how Next Level Podcast Solutions transformed his podcast and provided invaluable assistance along the way
[14:47] Thinking is curiosity
[17:41] The power of contemplation
[21:08] Act more
[26:53] Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Speaker 1:

Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed our latest episode, episode number 1472 questions. That will save you a lot of time. Today for episode number 1471, you think too much and that is in quotes. I'm not saying you think too much, but if you are anything like Alan and myself, maybe you have been told that you think too much on one or several occasions. I remember back in the day, alan, when I was Spending more time on snapchat.

Speaker 2:

I was a single man.

Speaker 1:

I was a single man. I remember you used to snapchat me we had a streak.

Speaker 2:

Maybe did we had a street. I probably did I break the streak.

Speaker 1:

I honestly don't know. Probably it's probably me. Also. Real quick for those watching, I have my lights on orange because it's almost October, which means it's almost Halloween, so I'm gonna get seasonal up in here Very thoughts on that.

Speaker 2:

I think it's preemptive, but I dig it.

Speaker 1:

You're very proactive. Alan hates it. I was. I don't hate it. I was talking to a young lady Many moons ago when I was I don't know how old, I was 20.

Speaker 1:

I Was still working at my old job, probably 26, 27. I don't remember. But I was talking to this young lady and her and I were I don't know if you'd say dating. We were on the verge of dating and I remember I Remember we hung out a few times and it was all good and then something happened and we were talking, I think on Facebook Messenger, and she said I don't understand why you have to think so much, that you think way too much. Just let it go, let it be. And I remember saying I Don't think, I don't think I think too much. I love that about myself. I love the fact that I'm always thinking and I have these weird thoughts. And that was it that. After that, I think she blocked me. She blocked me on all the platforms, probably deleted my number and we never spoke again.

Speaker 1:

But now, in reflection, this person and I don't mean this in a negative way this person had a very simple life that I think they enjoyed. They Worked at a car dealership, they were a gymnastics coach and they hung out on their free time and liked watching Disney movies and spending time with friends and Going to the bar and party. In a little bit, in retrospect, looking back, I just think that person was probably. They probably felt very fulfilled in their existence and they probably wondered why I couldn't feel fulfilled in the existence that I had, or they thought they were fulfilled. I don't know whether they were or not, but I've heard that before you think too much, you should think less. You don't have to think about that, it doesn't matter, it's not that big of a deal, just let it be.

Speaker 1:

And in this episode I want you to know that if anybody has ever told you that I think they're wrong, and what if they just don't think enough? And that is obviously Personal. It depends on the level of goals and what they want out of life. But just because you think more than the average bear, as Many of the amazing people on our team would say, it doesn't mean it's bad. It doesn't mean it's wrong. What if that's what differentiates you from everyone else? What if that's your unique superpower? What if that's going to allow you to create the life of your dreams? And others that are not thinking that way Aren't gonna get the life that they want, so I thought we could do an episode on it. I know you've heard it, alan. I've heard it. I'm sure whether you're watching or listening, unfortunately, you've probably heard it as well. What did you do with it, would be my question. And did you allow it to switch or shift your identity?

Speaker 2:

I don't know what year this was, but I will never forget the very first personal development book I ever purchased, and it was this little book right here I'm on YouTube. I'm showing it. It is little, isn't it? Yeah, it's a little one, john C Maxwell. The title of the book is how successful people think. Change your thinking, change your life. Now, it wasn't until you were talking literally just now, kev that I realized that the motto of this book, which I picked up at Barnes Noble, probably back in 2009 I want to say 2008, something like that way, way, way back Didn't read it right away, I think I was intrigued by the title how successful people think. Change your thinking, change your life. Now for the new listeners of ours we had a podcast, originally that was called well. I had a podcast called conversations change lives. Kevin had a podcast called the hyper conscious podcast and his slogan was change the way you think, change the way you act, change the way you live. And I'm realizing right, world class was a big deal.

Speaker 2:

I was a big deal, I'm gonna say I'm gonna come out and say One of the time, one of the top podcasts of all time Wild.

Speaker 1:

How, that's like not that long ago, but also seem it's gonna be seven years. April of 2017, this podcast journey began. We are five months, six months away from that, from being a seven years.

Speaker 2:

We will be seven years old, like a little toddler.

Speaker 1:

No, no, no, no what is it young adult?

Speaker 2:

I don't know. No, no, no, Baby, it's like infant toddler. There's something in between teenager and toddler.

Speaker 1:

I have no clue. I couldn't.

Speaker 2:

You could say anything and I would say yes, as a business, as a podcast, as an enterprise, we are gonna be seven years old in six months. Six months we're gonna be. That's like saying, hey, my birthday's coming up. It's like six months later, but anyways. So how successful people think, change your thinking, change your life. Is the slogan of the very first personal development book I ever bought and I still have it. It's right here. It's this little tiny book by John Maxwell.

Speaker 2:

But the idea here is, I've been told you think too much my entire life, and I remember my response to that was always I don't understand why you're saying that. If anything, I think thinking is what separates us from animals. And I was joking with Kev behind the scenes before we did this episode. I said what's the difference between you and your dog? The dog really can't think that much. They have to go on instinct. Now, dogs can think a little bit, I'm sure. Right, food, water, whatever, right, I wanna play. I have a little dog named Tucker and. But the difference between a smartphone and a regular phone is the smartphone is more capable, you can do more on it, it's connected to the internet, it has apps, it's I just I think intelligence. I think thinking is what separates us. I've always felt that way, and the last story that I'll share here real quick is if you listen to Kevin and I, you probably have been told that you think too much. I have a lot of clients who have told me they've been told they think too much, when, in reality, what if the other person thinks too little? That's the thesis here.

Speaker 2:

Now, the story that I have is when I was in my early 20s, my mom came up to me and she said why do you care so much about intelligence? Like, why does that matter so much? Why can't it be enough to just be nice? And I remember at the time I genuinely didn't understand what she was trying to say. I didn't get it and it was a little bit of an attack. But I remember saying because intelligence is the most important thing. And she said whoa, why? Why does that matter so much? And I said because if you're not, if you don't have intelligence, you can't make good choices. That's what you taught me. My mom told me that if you aim high, you'll have choices.

Speaker 2:

Education matters so much, and the conclusion that I drew back then I wanna share with our listeners, because when I was in my early 20s, I was reflecting on my childhood. I've always been doing that. I actually just did that last night too. But I looked around and I saw really unfulfilled people and this is not me trying to be unkind, this is me just being an observant child. I saw a lot of people who had unfulfilling jobs. They had unfulfilling relationships. My mom and stepdad didn't really get along well. All their friends didn't seem to get along very well. No one seemed that happy to me. No one seemed that fulfilled. Most people didn't like their jobs and it just.

Speaker 2:

I remember my brain as a little kid. I remember thinking I'm gonna do something different. I'm not gonna do this. This looks terrible. And again now, as a 35, almost 35 year old man, I now understand that I grew up in a neighborhood that was a lot of people that weren't very fulfilled and certainly not into personal development and that's whatever. Okay. But what I told my mom this was my 20 year old ego version of what I told her, which was I'm trying to find the formula to not end up old and miserable like everybody else and that's not to imply that everyone's miserable.

Speaker 2:

But back when I was a kid I looked around and I was around a lot of unhappy people, and Kevin and I, ever since we got together, we've been having deep talks. From the very beginning We've been thinking I mean, you and I were in Pittsburgh four or five weeks ago and you were asking me some really interesting questions at the end of the night Really really trippy questions, they were great. But you've never once heard me say, dude, you think too much. You'll never hear me say that Because, if anything, I think all of us would benefit from thinking more Seriously. I think that that's what this podcast was built on Change the way you think, change the way you act, change the way you live. Thinking can change your whole life, and whether it's how successful people think, or it's this podcast or it's a conversation with a friend or a mentor, changing the way you think will change the way you act. It will change the choices you make, and the choices you make will change your life, and it's the most empowering thing in the world.

Speaker 1:

I wonder if being an over-thinker has been it's been considered negative in the past, because maybe when you think about overthinking you're also thinking lack of action. So if you overthink and you underact you're gonna get stuck in a loop. But what if you overthink and you act fast? I would argue that's probably a pretty good place to live. I look back on my past and I do this often and there's a lot of things that I would overthink.

Speaker 1:

I remember and I don't want this to be like a too much information thing, but I remember when I was first dating and having long-term girlfriends how safe I was when we were participating in sexual activities. I'll just leave it at that, but I was overthinking all the things that could go wrong all the time. I was terrified. I was obsessed with overthinking. I remember when I started drinking. I never got behind the wheel of a car after I drank ever, because I was always overthinking.

Speaker 1:

What are the odds something bad happens? I feel like they're probably pretty high. I don't know if anybody makes a terrible decision based on their awareness, gets home and says, yeah, I'm very unlucky that I didn't get in an accident or get pulled over. I think it's the opposite I'm really lucky. I made it home in one piece, which means the odds are against you when it comes to something like that. If I could go back and tell younger Kevin something, 18-year-old Kevin, I would probably say, hey, dude, think more, think more and act more. But it starts with thinking more. It's not a weakness, it's not a sickness, it's not something that's going to be understood by everybody, but that's okay. That's okay. Even when I started this story, we started this episode with that story.

Speaker 1:

Good for that young lady, for figuring out what she wants and doing that, I would argue that I will be more fulfilled. I would argue that I am more fulfilled right now and I will continue to be more fulfilled. I think one of the reasons is I said what would fulfill me? That's overthinking or thinking, getting to a point where I remember Alan and I were trying to do things very similarly and I was coaching and I was doing mindset coaching and all this other stuff and thinking well, I don't know if I want to do this forever. I don't know if I think that's Alan's thing. I think Alan's way better at this than I am.

Speaker 1:

I like podcasting, I want to talk about podcasting, I want to coach on podcasting what if I didn't overthink there? What if I didn't overthink when we went from hyper-conscious to next-level you? What if I didn't overthink there? Right now, we're in the middle of doing a rebrand. We're going to have a new logo and stuff, because we've been thinking about that for a long time and the team has given us a good kick in the butt. So I'm grateful for all of you. That's based on overthinking. It's almost like you get to a point where your level of thinking gets you to the level that you're at and if you stop thinking you stay at that level no-transcript.

Speaker 1:

It's curiosity. I don't know if you can be too curious. You can be too curious for someone who finds curiosity intimidating, or they just don't understand it. But going back to an episode that we've done before and it's kind of the through line of this entire podcast, you're not for everyone. There are some people who would love to hang out with you on a Friday night and talk about weird stuff, like Alan and I for sure. There are also other people who might say, hey, man, or hey, that's too much.

Speaker 1:

I can't think about that right now. I don't want to think about that. Maybe they're just not as much your people as you had hoped. But the last thing I ever want you to do is take a reaction from someone else as the way you should live your life. Especially take a reaction from someone else and it makes you feel bad about yourself. What it really did for me. When that young lady sent me that message. It was like, oh, this was never going to work anyway. You think I think too much now. I don't think enough. I need to think way more than I do. So if that's you out there, number one, you're not alone. Number two please do not allow it to dim your light, because the thing that turns many, many people off is also going to turn the right people on perverbially, not in a sexual manner here.

Speaker 2:

Kev, I was thinking about thinking and just now and I think we don't always know this, but thinking is asking and answering questions. It's also known as contemplation. So Kevin, I are always asking each other questions behind the scenes. I mean, we are. It's 333 pm On Monday. What's today, september 27th or September 25th, son, september 25th?

Speaker 2:

While we're recording this, kevin and I, on this Monday, have accomplished nothing tangible. How dare you. But we discussed let's go through it real quick. We discussed audio quality, we discussed business, we discussed sales, we discussed how to get more clients, we discussed habits, we discussed what to discuss, we came up with episode topics, we sent an audio to the team. So I guess we did actually accomplish something tangible. We contemplated the logo. We had three different options for the new podcast avatar.

Speaker 2:

All day today, kevin and I have been, from 10 30 am To 3 33 pm, we've been contemplating what to do next, what the next chapter looks like, what, what we can do to improve the audio quality, what can we do to improve the business, what can we do to gain more momentum, what can we do to help this person or that person? What can I whether or not I'm gonna do trial clients ever again what there's been. We've just been contemplating. We've just gotten in a room together and we've just contemplated the power of contemplation, the power of thinking, the power of asking and answering tough questions, is that now you can make better choices. I've used this a thousand times in speeches. Everyone think of a poor, like a really bad decision that you made in high school. Everyone's got one when you were a teenager. When you were a teenager, think of a really terrible choice that you would never make again. Okay, kevin's got one, I've got one. Okay, why would you never make that choice again? Now the answer is because you're now wiser. In other words, you are now more aware of the long-term consequences of that potential choices, in other words, your that potential choice. You are more aware of the risk. You're more aware of the risk. I, the one that I'm thinking of I'm really, really, really grateful that what could have happened didn't end up happening, whether it was dangerous or reckless. The point is, I'm just more wise now. Teenagers don't know that much. I'm not nothing against teenagers. I was one too. I made reckless choices, for sure, and I'm very, very fortunate that those choices did not, did not end up derailing my life.

Speaker 2:

And Thinking is asking and answering questions. Asking and answering questions Is the key to making better choices. And, at next level, university Whether it was hyper conscious, podcast changed the way you think, changed the way you act, changed the way you live, or, its next level, university, level up your health, wealth, life and love. What we're doing on this podcast is helping you think. We always are, we always have been, we always will be, and that's the difference between you and your dog, and that's the difference between a smartphone and a dumb phone, a smartphone and a non smartphone.

Speaker 2:

But I've always believed deeply in thinking. I I don't know if that's unique to me or not, but I think it's really, really, really important, and I do know that Most of what Kevin and I's life has become our Impact has become our business has become our podcast has become our relationships, our intimate relationships have become Is a byproduct of deep conversations, thinking about better ways to be, to be better men, to be better leaders, to be better business owners, to be better partners. That's what it's all about, and it all comes back to this one book that I picked up in Barnes Noble how successful people think, and by success it means health, wealth, love, it means being effective. It means being being what you want to be. Would would, would the little version of you, the childhood version of you, be super proud of who you are today? And if your answer is yes, it's because.

Speaker 2:

What's the difference in the little version of you and you now is now your wiser. Now you have more experiences. Now you have more answers, you have more understandings, you have more capabilities. Your your smarter, your wiser. It's, it's, and it's because we all, as Human beings, can think better and then therefore do better. I used to say, if you want to, you have to know better to do better. So, whatever that thing was in high school, you didn't know any better. Maybe Now you do so. Now you would never do that thing again, right? So Now the question is what are we doing now that, five years from now, is gonna think we shouldn't be, shouldn't have been doing? Or, more importantly, what are we not doing now that, five years from now, we're gonna wish we had?

Speaker 1:

If you see something in the physical world, it's because someone was thinking about it. So if you feel like you're overthinking, maybe you're underacting that. You're probably not. I Don't know. If you're overthinking, I mean, yeah, that's definitely happens, but one of the best ways to overthink or one of the best ways to combat overthinking is to act. More Is then you get more feedback and it allows you to have a more accurate Understanding of what you're thinking. Last thing before we go Did you know? And keep it real with me, don't lie about this, okay, cuz I'll know if you lie, okay, okay.

Speaker 2:

Did you?

Speaker 1:

man of truth, my friend. I know that to a.

Speaker 2:

Trust me.

Speaker 1:

I know, I know that did you know that I had a typewriter as a child?

Speaker 2:

no, I did not know that I did before we got a laptop before we got a computer grandma had one. Those things are awesome, man. Did you know?

Speaker 1:

Have you ever heard of web TV? Mm-hmm, what a wild thing. This was okay, real quick. Every day when I was, we used to have this thing called web TV. It was. It. Was this Keyboard that attached to your TV. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, way back, you can send me.

Speaker 2:

I thought I accidentally almost bought a house. When the internet was brand new, I was at my, I was at my mom and pop-ups house and I was a little kid and I I went and looked at real estate online, okay, and I was scared that I accidentally bought a house. I Was like six, six years old or something, so you had web TV as well.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, they did, they did my grandma Shout out, shout out to grandma and grandpa. I would get home every day from school and I would send my girlfriend at the time I we're talking like middle school, so this wasn't a little legitimate girlfriend but I would send her love notes on web TV, my mom and grandmother would help me.

Speaker 2:

I would pay money to see those they were probably world-class. What do you?

Speaker 1:

think you were saying man, good stuff definitely. Oh, I'm sure, yeah, it's probably super uplifting, it was positive, definitely positive. I don't doubt that. Teddy bears yeah, I've always had a soft. Yeah, I've always been a a man of many thoughtful words, a Quick story.

Speaker 2:

Really fast yeah sure, in middle school in Valentine's Day. No, I remember one time I got 50 bucks 70. I used to get candy in my locker. I was the blonde haired, blue-eyed. I looked like a backstreet boy, like a little mini backstreet boy. And I got 50 bucks once. Who was?

Speaker 1:

stashin, who is who's on the $50 bill Jackson but I remember feeling pretty guilty about that.

Speaker 2:

I took the money.

Speaker 1:

But of course, as as any child do do.

Speaker 2:

Do you like me, yes or no? You remember those notes with like the checkbox? Yes, I don't think I got. I don't think I got many of them.

Speaker 1:

I don't know, I feel like I was a. You know, I was a little teddy bear in in middle school who gave you 50 bucks. We had some questionable teachers. Could have been a teacher.

Speaker 2:

No, no, it was definitely not a teacher. Okay, her name was Kaylee.

Speaker 1:

Kaylee. Shout out to Kaylee, for it's a lot of money. All right, we're gonna get out of here next all the nation. As you know, we have graduated 11 groups of group coaching Over the last, coming up on three years, which is mind-blowing to me. Our 12th round of group coaching is starting on October 10th With the discount code that we are just gonna give you and we're gonna put it in the show notes because I don't want you To go find it or reach out to us you can literally just copy and paste it from the show notes to the website. It'll take 30% off and it'll end up being $96 and 60 cents per month. I believe the code is NLU listener, one word NLU L I S T E N E R will have it in the show notes, so you can just copy and paste. I Spelt it right.

Speaker 1:

I believe so, and if you have been waiting, if you've wanted to get into group coaching before, you haven't had time. It wasn't the right time, whatever. Too busy, money was tight. Now is a great opportunity. And here's the other thing too You're gonna be with us Leading up to the holidays. Right, we're gonna be six weeks, yeah, so we'll be going right up until the holiday season. That's where a lot of us fall off our habits. Summer is a slow time for a lot of people in terms of Making progress. A lot of family time, children time, activities, vacation. Let's get the habits rolling again so we can make progress rolling into the holiday season and new year. Link will be in the show Notes. Everything will be in the show. Sorry, sir.

Speaker 2:

That's all good, brother, I was gonna interrupt you, not the other way around. So this weekend, on Saturday I think, we had nearly 20 people on book clubs, so thank you all for who attended. It was magnificent best book club We've ever had. This past weekend we are reading a book by Jim quick called limitless, and the best way to describe this book is it's all the best fundamentals you can think of. He talks about motivation, methods and mindset motivation. Methods and mindset. Motivation is gas in the tank. Mindset is how to make better choices, how to think better, kind of like what we talked today, and then methods is the strategies that you employ. The book is awesome. I hope that you join us Saturday.

Speaker 2:

Every Saturday 12 30 pm Eastern Standard Time. It's completely free. Keep your camera off and your microphone off if you want. You can just listen in. You don't have to have Joined the book at any particular time or have read it or not. Some people have read it, some people haven't, some people started it, some people didn't, and you can participate as much or as little as you'd like. I highly recommend that you join us. The registration link, not the registration link. The landing page will be in the show notes.

Speaker 1:

Also shout out to all the new NLU family members. We've gotten many, many, many listens over the last few weeks, so shout out to you if you are new, welcome, grateful you're here and Please, as always, let us know how we can support you tomorrow. For episode number 1472 how long has your biggest problem been a problem? Even that? Right there, you could say, kev, that's overthinking, right there, the way you titled that episode. I don't think so. I think it's a great title, as always. We love you, we appreciate you. Grateful for each and every one of you and an L you. We don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow keep on thinking.

Speaker 2:

Next elimination.

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host