Next Level University

#1472 - How Long Has Your Biggest Problem Been A Problem?

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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In life, everyone has hurdles to overcome. These hurdles could be related to our health, wealth, or relationships. Often, we perceive these struggles as roadblocks, hindering us from achieving our goals. In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros talk about the idea of confronting our biggest problems. It's easy to view these problems as insurmountable barriers, but they can lead to growth and acquiring new skills. The pain and discomfort associated with these problems are necessary and potentially beneficial. They force us to act, facilitate change, and develop solutions.

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Show notes: 
[3:05] Pain or discomfort forces you to take action
[7:50] Talk about your deepest struggles
[9:55] Your expectations are off
[13:25] The root cause of the issue
[15:02] Chad shares how Next Level Podcast Solutions transformed his podcast and provided invaluable assistance along the way
[16:20] Everyone is struggling
[22:10] Identifying and solving problems
[28:49] Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Speaker 1:

Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Sorry, I Just had.

Speaker 1:

You know, we used to get into laughing fits where something would happen and we just start laughing uncontrollably. I just had a. I just reminded me of it. We hope you enjoyed our latest episode, episode number one thousand four hundred and seventy one. You think too much. I don't think you do. If somebody does, I do think they're wrong. Today, for episode number one thousand four hundred and seventy two, how long has your biggest problem been a problem?

Speaker 1:

I was on a podcast the other day and I don't remember the question I was asked, but it made me think of this topic because I said Unfortunately, this is what I said. I said I think, by default, life is gonna be hard and we're gonna have challenges, because many of us myself included, times a million. I Usually had to learn a lesson After I lost something. So when I learned the most about relationships, it was when I was the most heartbroken. Unfortunately, it wasn't when I was in a really amazing relationship where I said, wow, I really want this to get better and I want to. I want to learn as much as I can. The times I learned the most about Money were the times I had the least money. I Wouldn't say the time I learned the most about health is when I was Unable to operate with my health, so that's maybe a little bit of an anomaly, but what?

Speaker 2:

about injuries man.

Speaker 1:

That's true.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's a really yeah. For a long time I was having a. Really my right shoulder was jefft. It was brutal and I couldn't go to the gym without experiencing pain and I tried a bunch of different things. I tried a bunch of different things and eventually I found the thing that works, or worked, and now I feel much better. That is the thought in this episode.

Speaker 1:

The thought in this episode is Is your biggest problem still a problem because you haven't focused on it enough to solve the problem yet? And this is why I think Pain is such a great an Effective I don't want to say great pain. Discomfort is a great set it again an effective piece of necessity Because it forces you to do something different. If everything seems like it's going very well, you're not going to take a lot of new actions and you're not going to facilitate change, but once a problem kicks in.

Speaker 1:

So for us, our biggest problem over the last month, month and a half, has been that we've been having sound quality issues. That has been the biggest problem we've had in terms of the podcast, and Alan and I have been quite obsessed for the last, however long, on how to fix this. That problem is not going to persist for very long, because we're very, very focused on how do we solve it if your relationship has been your biggest problem for a long period of time. One, have you focused on learning what you need to learn in order to get over that problem? To have you had that unfortunate but necessary, challenging conversation with yourself that, hey, maybe this isn't going to work the way I want it to? Or, hey, I should really have that difficult conversation? And then, three, have you taken action on that new Awareness?

Speaker 2:

that is really what I wanted to talk about today there's this really funny drawing that I drew for a client one time. I was being playful, but I meant it. We were on zoom and I I don't draw well on zoom for those of you who are clients of mine, you know that to be true. But I drew this stick figure at the top of a big hole and I drew another stick figure down in the bottom of the hole and I drew a little thought bubble above the stick figure and it said Alan and this person wouldn't mind me sharing this. I've shared it publicly before. Her name is Amy. She was down in the hole. And so Amy was down in the hole, little stick figure, and I'm. I'm up at the top of the hole and she's shouting up help, help me, help. And the little thought bubble said I'm drawing stick figures. You know it's funny. The thought bubble essentially said don't worry, the deep dark holes that we find ourselves in, the tools and the skills necessary to climb out of those holes also build skyscrapers. And on the right side of the screen I drew future Amy With a big skyscraper next to her, saying look at all of this that I achieved. I'm so grateful that I fell in that deep dark hole and while this is playful and funny because I can't draw and all that it's actually a really powerful lesson, which is your adversity can become your advantage, even in the simplest way it can be. If you had a tough childhood, now you have a lot of grit. If you had audio issues and it took you a long time to solve them, now you know more about audio quality than most people. If you struggled with your mental health, I have one client actually A team member who struggled with her mental health and self-love so much that now she's really really good at it. As a matter of fact, we did a meet-up once on mental health and she was teaching me. So at the end of the day, one of the reasons why maybe I'm good at teaching success is because I had to figure out how to be more successful when my stepdad left and we didn't have any money and I had to figure out how to get scholarships and how to get financial aid and all I can stop.

Speaker 2:

The point is, whatever hole you find yourself in, whatever problem you you have, whatever struggle bus you're currently on, there's a way to solve it. And when you solve it, you're gonna study things, practice things, observe things, learn things and you're gonna develop skills that other people don't have. I have one person I'm thinking of, amy L. She wouldn't mind me different, amy, but she wouldn't mind me sharing this. She struggled with her health so much that now she helps tons of women dozens, if not hundreds of women all over the world with their hormones and their health.

Speaker 2:

So this is the whole turn your pain into power. Turn your struggle into success. Turn your difficulties into empowerment. Turn your frustrations into fascination, into transformation. This is it. This is when we're in the dark hole. It just sucks and it's a pain in the butt.

Speaker 2:

And I was on Book Club on Saturday and I said it's so interesting how it's not socially acceptable to talk about your successes financially or whatever, but it's also really not that socially acceptable to talk about your deepest struggles either. It's almost like everyone kind of wants to live on the surface. I want to talk about your deepest struggles, but I also want to celebrate your deepest successes. And what's ironic is that, instead of living in this lukewarm middle ground where we're all fearful to be, we don't want to be a failure and we don't want to talk about our failures, but we also don't want to be too successful to where we're ostracized from our peer group or seen as arrogant or whatever it is.

Speaker 2:

At NLU, at Book Club and this is what I said on Book Club, I said I want everyone here to be okay with the fact that you're struggling. You can talk about your struggles here, but the cool part is it flips the other way too. You can talk about where you're winning. We were celebrating Brandon who's over 370 days of a mile a day for mindset. That's cool to celebrate in Book Club. But the people in Book Club that are struggling with fitness they vulnerably shared One of them almost started crying. We're just talking about what's real and I think at the end of the day, whatever your biggest problem is, whatever it is that you're struggling with now, if you face it, if you learn from it, if you study it, if you get help, it can actually become a success that you get to share later. Or I should say that you're scared to share later. Unfortunately, that is definitely a potential.

Speaker 1:

We've talked about this before. We did an episode on this. Three reasons people don't succeed at the level they want. Again, myself definitely included. It's false expectations, misaligned approach or misaligned approach, just not understanding the time perspective. So if we were to, talk about.

Speaker 2:

It's a great framework.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it works really well. I created my own framework. You believe that who knew? I appreciate that very much, genuinely. It's a good one.

Speaker 2:

It really works.

Speaker 1:

But over coaching so many people, I've realized that one of the biggest things is the expectations. I don't know if we're going to do an episode on that, but how long has your biggest problem been a problem One? Is it because your expectations around the problem are completely off? You expect that the problem will fix itself. For me, I know that my shoulder will probably get better in time. The more workouts I do, the stronger I get. No, I think that actually made it worse, Because I was getting stronger.

Speaker 2:

You're going to say how that worked out for you pretty good, not well.

Speaker 1:

I was getting stronger in some places, but that strength that was actually creating weakness in another. That didn't fix it. So my expectation that if I do this for long enough, it's going to be fine, that'll work Wrong Approach. I think this is where a lot of people get stuck. Well, I know I should be doing blank, but I'm not doing it. There's got to be another way. Maybe not? No, not. If you've been trying this for a long time and you haven't figured out another way. I'm convinced a lot of us know the answer to the questions we're asking. We just don't want to do it. Unfortunately. Same here. Same here. I know there are certain physical therapy exercises I should still be doing and I'm not doing them. I'm riding the lightning, but there's not enough necessity. My shoulder feels good. The problem isn't what the problem used to be, so I'm not doing the things necessary to make sure that problem doesn't come back. Unfortunately.

Speaker 2:

And there are other things that do have necessity. Yeah, definitely Way more than your shoulder. But if you woke up tomorrow and your shoulder hurt enough to where you couldn't weight chain, you better believe you'd be back in physical therapy. I would do something.

Speaker 1:

And then the last one time perspective. If the problem and that's why I like how long has your biggest problem been a problem? Because it might be a week and you might think it should be solved. It could be a year and you could just be so used to it.

Speaker 1:

I want, I really want this episode to be an awareness builder where you say okay, when it comes to health, when it comes to wealth and when it comes to love, what are your top biggest problem under each? So health I haven't been sleeping enough. Hypothetically, I've been sleeping quite well. Wealth I Want to save more money, or I want to get a raise, or I want to make more money, whatever. And then love I really wish my partner and I would communicate better. I really wish I was Talking more positively to myself. How long have those things been nagging you? And then here's the thing what is the action you've taken? What is the? Did you do research? Did you read a book? Did you look online? Because I think that unfortunately takes a long period of time before we say okay, maybe I don't know the answer to this question and that's okay, that's okay.

Speaker 1:

I think not knowing the answer to something is More empowering than we give credit to, because at least you know what to do. You got to go seek the answer and there's a lot of answers out there. There's a lot of answers. When you get an answer that changes your expectations, that changes your approach and it also gives you an accurate time perspective, and then I think you're more likely To succeed in whatever it is. So that that really is for me. I know Alan and I are on a little bit different pages on this episode. Nothing wrong with that for me, identifying the biggest three things going on and then saying, okay, what are the three things I've also done to remedy those? Oh, I haven't put that much time, energy, effort, focus into fixing the problem. Okay, maybe I'm not as down and out as I thought. I haven't really tried to fix the problem. Maybe I thought the problem is gonna fix itself, maybe it hasn't been long enough. Whatever it may be, that's my thought.

Speaker 2:

We're not on a different page. I'm I'm trying to go to the root cause of the issue and I think it's so interesting. So, for example, kev shoulder was hurting and he was not able to do the bodybuilding workouts that he wanted to do and he was deeply fearful that I was gonna be more Jacked. I mean, it's whatever.

Speaker 2:

I kept me up at night I so obviously necessity was I, because you know these walks around the block are really doing it for me. No, I'm good, but you went to a physical therapist. Okay, you found the root cause. What are the? What was the root cause of the issue?

Speaker 1:

I had a weak scapula.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so they found the root cause of the issue. Yes, all right. So now you know the root cause of the issue still. Yeah, yes, okay. And you know the solution as well, which is a certain regimen of physical therapy work. Yes, okay, yes, so you stopped doing those.

Speaker 1:

Some of them, yes, so stop doing some of them. I I've done some of them far less. I've also done some of them far more, but my shoulder does not feel like it did, so I know. My belief is that what I am doing is working Because you got to think right. My problem was my problem for a long time. Then it felt a lot better and Now it still feels good. I can't imagine it's because I went to physical therapy for six weeks and that fixed everything, and it's never gonna happen again. I do think I'm doing some things that are supplementary to continue what I learned there.

Speaker 2:

Okay, in hindsight, now, reflecting on all the data, what do you think was the root cause, the biggest lever that you had to pull?

Speaker 1:

in terms of making my shoulder feel better.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Going to physical therapy for sure. Okay, Okay.

Speaker 2:

And then they identified the root cause, which was your scapula's weakness.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and so your weakness Right. It was the awareness, yeah.

Speaker 2:

For those of you who did what Kevin was saying, which is, figure out the number one struggle that you have in wealth, the number one struggle that you have in health, the number one struggle that you have in love, or problem, problem struggle, same deal. And, by the way, everyone is struggling. It's just to what extent, to what frequency, to what intensity? Everyone is struggling. I'm struggling with my lower back. Everyone is dealing with something that you don't know about. Most likely and again, one of the reasons why is we don't talk about our struggles or our successes. We dim our own successes and no, I'm not that great over there because you don't want to be seen as arrogant, but you also don't want to be seen as weak either. So you kind of hide your struggles too, and I don't know you were trying to overcome that. But if you have the wrong root cause, you really can't solve it, and so I think that what I would share is try to go to someone who does know what the root cause is. Every coaching call, I do.

Speaker 2:

I. I started out with questions how have you been? I do true, false, semi-true. I've talked about this in the past. I have my client close their eyes. I close my eyes. I say true, false, semi-true. You are the most fulfilled version of yourself, holistic, that you've ever been. If they say true, I know that everything is working. If they say semi-true, I say okay, zero to 10, how fulfilled are you? And they say, let's say seven. I say okay, what was the most fulfilled you've ever been? And then we go to when they were the most fulfilled and then I find out what was different. I was more successful in fitness, I was. I was more on point with my husband, I was whatever it is. So alls I'm doing is root cause analysis.

Speaker 2:

Every single call I'm trying to figure okay, what's the biggest struggle this person's having? What is the source of the struggle? Same with relationship talks, coaching that Emilia and I do. You get on the phone with a couple. They're not communicating well, they're not on the same page, they don't have the same goals, they're struggle bus. Okay, why? What is the root cause of this issue?

Speaker 2:

Usually and this has been fascinating to study usually one of the partners is not vulnerable. Almost always it comes down to the lack of vulnerable communication because of fear. And when you figure out that root cause of the fear and then you create a safe space for one of the partners to actually share what's really going on. You almost always figure out oh okay, so we got to just work on that. And so that's really all I have on this episode, which is, whatever your biggest struggle is right now, think of whatever that is. What's the root cause of that struggle?

Speaker 2:

And if your answer is I got to go to physical therapy, but you're not actually doing it, go deeper. Why aren't I going to physical therapy? Why aren't I calling a therapist? Why aren't I getting a coach? Why aren't I reading that book? Why aren't I talking to my husband or my wife or my spouse or my partner about that thing? And underneath that is some sort of a fear, some deep rooted fear that if you face it, it'll make everything else go Better and then you'll finally climb out of that dark hole and then later on you'll actually end up helping other people with that very same thing, and that might build a skyscraper, might build a business. I.

Speaker 1:

Know it's not this simple, but it really is. You have to just search for the answer. For as long as it takes to find the answer. Really, I think that's. That's almost if I could do like a next level nugget, one liner, if the biggest problem that you have has been the problem for a long period of time and you haven't been focused on the solution. That's why it's the problem still and I know it's not that simple I've been working on my shoulder for years, for years, but I never.

Speaker 1:

I never went to a physical therapist. I went to one To get exercises and I did the exercises and it felt better for a while. But I never really got to the actual understanding of I'm gonna commit to going to eight weeks of physical therapy, whatever it is. Six weeks, eight weeks, whatever it is, and then I'll take it from there. Now I feel empowered if something. If I do experience those feelings again, I know what to do. At least I have the worksheet, I have all the exercises. I know I Was focused on it for a long period of time. I just never found the right button, and the right button exists for 99.9% of things. If Maybe right now you can't, you don't feel like you can save money. Well, you're either spending Too much or you're not making enough. One of two things, unfortunately, and I know right now you gotta go under the layers of that. Okay, why am I spending too much? Right, right, okay.

Speaker 2:

If it's spending too much, why am I spending too much? If it's not making enough, why am I not making more? See how all the answers are underneath those questions.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so I'd interrupt you.

Speaker 2:

I just that's how you do this is Okay. I'm struggling financially? Okay. Why? Because I spend too much or I'm not earning enough? Okay, I'm not earning enough because I'm really not spending that much. Okay, so I'm not earning enough? Okay, why the skill sets that I have at my company are not being valued? Okay. Why? Because I have a boss or a manager that's holding me back? Okay, why? Because they're afraid I'm gonna outgrow them and be seen by the higher ups. This has actually happened with one of my clients, where there was one person I was working with that was being paid less than her peers and the manager didn't like her, and so she ended up going above the manager and then getting a $9 raise. But you can't do that if you don't understand why you're not being paid as much, because the truth could have been honestly. You're not being paid as much because you're not as qualified or because you're not adding as much value because of XYZ. So at the end of the day I Told Kevin this before we started recording this episode I do believe that life is identifying and solving problems, identifying and solving struggles, and I, the higher you climb to the next level, next level, next level, next level, the bigger the problems get, but, but, but you also grow through each level.

Speaker 2:

It's not like you're gonna play a video game where level 10 is easier than level 1. I think the world's biggest lie is that success makes life easier. I don't think that's true. I think success makes the challenges bigger. But you are more grown up now. You are wiser now. You are more capable now. You are stronger now, emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually. You're more intelligent Now. You have access to more peers.

Speaker 2:

We have people we could reach out to now that we never could have gotten a hold of in the beginning. The tools, the resources we have capital, team, next level, next level, next level, next level. If you want to get to the next level in your life, you're gonna have to find the deeper layer, root cause of the struggle that you're currently facing. Then what's ironic is, when you do get to the next level, there's gonna be another challenge that you didn't anticipate. Then you're gonna have to rinse and repeat that same cycle. That's it for me. That's my next level. Nugget is every next level has a next level challenge. That's the opportunity for growing to the next level.

Speaker 1:

A lot of the lessons on level 1 you can take into level 5. That's the other thing. When you solve one problem, it's not just one problem, it's future problems as well. There's a page I follow on Instagram. If you're into fitness the gym exercise, squat university a very well-known page. I very rarely buy things from people on social media, but I bought one of this. I don't remember his name, but I bought the book that has all this called Rebuilding Milo. I think it has all this physical therapy stuff.

Speaker 1:

One of the things I saw on his page was for shoulder pain. You take a band and you put it around your wrist and you retract your shoulders and you keep the band apart while you do a bench press and you keep the band apart the whole time. It activates the back of your shoulder. Interesting, I do that as a warm-up. That really helps. Then I saw him do that when you're squatting because it also helps your hips stay in external rotation. Interesting, let me try that Now. My squat feels great, my knees feel great. That one thing I found. I'm sure I'm going to use that for another exercise. Eventually I'm just going to say, hey, let me try this. It's worked before, it'll probably work again. The answer is cross different questions. That would be my next level nugget if I didn't share one already.

Speaker 2:

Then go ahead. All I was going to say is there's one more little thing that I thought, of which is let's say, Kevin's squat comes up and his bench press comes up. Now those muscles are stronger. How many other exercises are also going to come up? That's fair. All of them See how that one little tool not only did he use it on different muscle groups, but those muscle groups getting stronger now allows him to also do more pull-ups, or whatever the point is.

Speaker 1:

I think Kevin's like no, not doing any pull-ups nowadays.

Speaker 2:

But your legs are getting stronger, your test levels are probably higher testosterone. You're probably sleeping better because you're getting better workouts. Now you also look better, so now maybe there's more intimacy in your relationship. You see how it's all connected. It's just awesome. I think I'm obsessed with getting better. I definitely am. I want to help everybody get better. I think it's the best thing in the world.

Speaker 1:

Also, one of the other byproducts is I'm more Jack than Alan and that's awesome for me.

Speaker 2:

That's a fact which is good for me too. You're better Right. It motivates Alan. It motivates Alan. It definitely does.

Speaker 1:

Okay, next Salve Nation. If you have not joined our private Facebook group yet Facebook Facebook group yet called Next Salve Nation, please do so. It is filled with amazing humans like you who are vulnerable, who are empathetic, who are caring and they want to get to the next level. It's a safe place to be yourself. It's a safe place to ask for help, ask for support, whatever it may be. Share your wins. You can definitely share your wins in Next Salve Nation. We'll have the link in the show notes. I think we are 715 or 720 members strong. The more the merrier. Please, please, please. We would love to have you in there if you are interested.

Speaker 2:

So listening to this podcast is a lot like, let's say, we are personal trainers and you are talking to us on the phone. Group coaching is more like coming to the gym with us and Taking notes and watching what we do. Why we do it? In order to be more successful, and it's health, wealth and love, but with a team of people. So imagine the last time you were on a sports team and how much more motivated and accountable you were, how much more on fire and ignited you were, how you could share with each other and feel like you're a part of something bigger than yourself. So that's what group coaching is. Group 12 is launching on October 10th and it's 10 people Assistant coach, kevin myself.

Speaker 2:

Private WhatsApp group. Everything you need to know is on the landing page. Click the link in the show notes. We have a promo code for listeners of this show NLU listener. All one word spelt, just like it sounds, that will give you 30% off discount code. The landing page is ready. If you want to lock your spot now, you can, and we hope that you join us. Group Coaching has been nothing short of one of the best things we've ever done and I am super, super pumped for this next group as they say in Starsky and Hutch do it, do it.

Speaker 1:

Do it tomorrow. For episode number 1473 the fear of change versus the fear of staying the same. I am convinced that Somewhere along your self-improvement journey you most likely will have the fear of change. A lot of us are afraid of the unknown and we're afraid of change, but I do believe when you start pouring into yourself and growing and evolving. What can I do for you?

Speaker 2:

Just thinking of Starsky and Hutch a little bit, but also you had a little like twitch wink going on when you talk, it's funny. Oh, that's what happens when I get fired up. It's all good, do you? Man took me off the path do it, do it.

Speaker 1:

I Don't know what I was talking about. Oh, yeah, yeah, I think at some point, we are afraid of change. I think, as you grow and evolve, you become more afraid of staying the same or going backwards. So we're gonna talk about that tomorrow. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and an L you. We don't have fans. We have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Speaker 2:

Keep turning your struggles into successes. Next elimination I.

Speaker 1:

Thought you lost yourself there. I also thought those things.

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host