Next Level University
Confidence, mindset, relationships, limiting beliefs, family, goals, consistency, self-worth, and success are at the core of hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros' heart-driven, no-nonsense approach to holistic self-improvement. This transformative, 7 day per week podcast is focused on helping dream chasers who have been struggling to achieve their goals and are seeking community, consistency and answers. If you've ever asked yourself "How do I get to the next level in my life", we're here for you!
Our goal at NLU is to help you uncover the habits to build unshakable confidence, cultivate a powerful mindset, nurture meaningful relationships, overcome limiting beliefs, create an amazing family life, set and achieve transformative goals, embrace consistency, recognize your self-worth, and ultimately create the fulfillment and success you desire. Let's level up your health, wealth and love!
Next Level University
#1473 - The Fear Of Change Vs The Fear Of Staying The Same
In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros talk about the concept of personal growth and the inherent fear of change that many of us grapple with. They discuss challenging our notions of comfort and happiness, emphasizing the paradoxical fear of staying the same versus the fear of change. They discuss practical strategies to overcome the fear of change and emphasize the importance of surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals on the same growth path. There's a potent power in collective growth, and it can transform your life. They also talk about personal growth being a dual nature – being enough while simultaneously not being sufficient to reach a goal.
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Show notes:
[2:20] Staying the same is harder than change
[6:49] You need to improve to achieve your goals
[14:02] Chad shares how Next Level Podcast Solutions transformed his podcast and provided invaluable assistance along the way
[14:37] Uncertain growth vs. certain stagnation
[18:02] Responsibility to grow
[25:33] Outro
Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed our latest episode. It was episode number 1472. How long has your biggest problem been a problem today? For episode number 1473 the fear of change versus the fear of staying the same.
Speaker 1:I was writing a song a few months ago and one of the lines in the song the song was about growth, it was about evolution, it was about overcoming your past Just spit everywhere. And one of the lines I wrote in the song was I used to be so scared to change. Now I'm scared to stay the same. And I posted that somewhere on social media and I got a lot of I Don't want to say love, but I think it created a lot of Curiosity. It created a lot of awareness. So I thought doing an episode on what is your relationship with change, what is your relationship with staying the same, and are you at the point in your journey where you understand Staying the same is actually harder than change? There have been many times, alan, where you and I have had conversations about we need to grow, we need to grow, we need to get better. We need to get smarter, we need to get more effective, we need to get better communicating, better at all the things. And Eventually it gets to the point where you do have that realization that I was scared of the uncertainty of change. I was scared of my capabilities around certain changes. I was, I was scared of failing when I was making changes. Now I understand that if I stay the same, I'm not going to get to the level I want to, if I don't continue growing and evolving. This is as high as I'm going to make it and this is as many people as I'm going to impact. Not that we're not impacting a lot of people, we are. What is your relationship with that?
Speaker 1:I was on a podcast one time and I said that. I said I always want to get better, I want to get better, I need to get better. And the host said, well, why do you have to get better? And I said because I, the better I get, the more I can impact. I need to get better, I just need to get better everything. And they were very Resistant to that. They said, well, you're already enough the way you are. And I said I, I understand that and I appreciate that and I know Intrinsically I am enough. Intrinsically, as a human, I know I am enough, but my skill sets do not match my desires and I don't think that's a bad thing. I'm not allowing that to hurt myself worth. I'm not saying I'm terrible, I need to get better. That's not what it is. It's. My current skill set does not line up with the goals or the aspirations the aspirations that I have for the goals.
Speaker 1:What is your relationship with that? When I say I Need to get better, I need to change, I need to continue evolving, I can't say the same when I say that and you hear it, does that create a little bit of a trigger? Is that You're already enough, kev? I'm already enough Listening to this podcast, or does it create heck? Yeah, I feel the same. I know I need to keep growing. I need to keep evolving. I don't want to stay the same again.
Speaker 1:For a long time, I was so afraid of change, whatever it was. I was so afraid of change because I wanted certainty. I wanted certainty. Now I Would rather have the certainty of growth than the certainty of staying the same. I would rather not know what's gonna happen in terms of growth for the next ten years, then know exactly where I'm gonna be ten years from today, because one of those is Closer to where I ultimately want to be. So that's my. My goal in this episode is to explore that and, alan, I think for you I know you might not Resonate, because I think you've always been Obsessed with change and growth so my, my goal in this episode is to make more things land than Alan might. Not that you can't, but I want to give you the permission to just do what it is that you do.
Speaker 2:I appreciate that, brother, of course, and I don't take offense to that. I, as someone who's always been goal oriented and future oriented, I think I always inherently Understood that I had to get better. So even when I think of when I was a little kid I play video games and Halo was one of my favorite games and a lot of people will recognize Halo because it's a really, really popular video game first-person shooter and I remember I was at the very top of the charts on bungeecom For team slayer and then for rumble pit is what they called it. It's like a eight person free for all and so I Knew intuitively and I was definitely not doing this proactively from a personal growth perspective but as a little kid I knew if I want to be on the top of the charts, I have to get better at rumble pit. I have to get better at team slayer. I have to get a better team. I have to get better with the sniper. I have to get better with the battle rifle. I have to practice, you know. So as a kid I knew if I want to get straight A's, I have to get better at math. I have to get better at English. I have to, I have to improve. I actually I talk about how I went to special reading classes to try to get better at reading, because I wasn't very good at it and I'm still not that great at it, but I've definitely gotten way better. I Didn't know that that wasn't normal, because what I'll share with our listeners is, if you do have goals that are beyond what you've ever achieved, you're gonna have to improve to get there, because the real reason why you haven't achieved that thing, whatever it is let's say you want to buy a half million dollar house or you want to start a family, or Anyone who's had kids could probably tell you this they had to get way better in order to succeed at that. I've had to become a way better manager of this household when we got more pets, and so there's two ways to get better. There's you get better reactively or you get better proactively, so you can say you know what I'm going to get better. I'm going to get better. I'm going to get better at communicating. I'm going to get better at being vulnerable. I'm going to be better at speaking effectively. I'm going to be better at being more disciplined. I'm going to get better at getting better sleep. I'm going to do better in exercising, but you can do that proactively and then your life will expand, your life will grow, your opportunities will grow.
Speaker 2:As business owners, kevin and I, you know, we have an 18 person team. Now the person who's the most effective is usually the one who gets the opportunities, and that's because they're more effective. And so it's a duality you are enough intrinsically while simultaneously not being enough to achieve XYZ goal. So, for example, I am enough as a man to eventually achieve my goals and dreams, but simultaneously I'm not strong enough to squat 500 pounds. And if I want to achieve that goal, I don't care about squatting 500 pounds. But let's say I did. I'm not nearly strong enough, I'm not flexible enough, I'm not capable enough, I don't eat enough. I mean, there's a million. I'm not enough in the context of the goal. I am not enough. And I know that sounds so weird because well, alan, you are enough. No, no, no, no. I am and I'm not.
Speaker 2:And I have a client who was at a job. She communicated to me for quite some time that she was scared of ending up stuck. She looked around at her colleagues and she loves her colleagues, she enjoys them, she's close friends with them. She worked with them for seven years, something like that, and she was fearful to leave that job because she was afraid she would lose her friends. But she was more fearful of getting stuck, like them and she wasn't saying they're stuck in an unkind way. But she wants more, right? Maybe that's good for them, maybe they're fulfilled, maybe they're thrilled there. She wants more. She definitely wanted more. She wanted more income. She wanted a better work environment. She definitely wanted better leaders. She wanted to move on and move up. So I'm proud of her. She went and she applied to other jobs. She got her dream job. She actually got her master's degree and she left. When she left she said there's two parts of me. Part of me is really sad that I left because I miss all of them, but the other part of me is really, really happy and fulfilled that I got out of there. And so she had to make a decision. She had to decide I would. I'm more afraid to stay here than I am to leave, but don't get it twisted. She was scared to leave too. It's just which one's bigger. And so all of us have this decision. Number one if you don't change, nothing's gonna change for you In book club I talked about Jim Rohn and Jim Rohn's a professional development speaker personal development speaker and I'm.
Speaker 2:I every now and then I'll go back and frequent some of his work. He's since passed away, but it's very, very practical stuff. And he says in order to improve your life, you're gonna have to improve. Simple idea, very, very powerful. He said what if your aunt changes? What if the president changes? What if? What if the taxes change? What if prices come down a little or go up a little? All those things will impact you a little bit. They will, but they're not gonna transform your whole life.
Speaker 2:And I remember thinking to myself way back when I found Jim Rohn. This was years and years and years ago, probably eight years ago. I remember thinking, okay, well, what if my parents change? What if my, what if my siblings change? Sibling changes, parent changes, what if? What if my aunts and uncles change? What if my friends change? What would that do for me? Right, it's not that much, it wouldn't change that much. But if I change, if I improve, if I grow, if I develop new skills, if I go for that or this or whatever, and I started really making changes after 26 years old, after my car accident. For the new listeners that's another story, but I started making every change I possibly could. I started improving everything I possibly could, instead of what I used to do, which is try to get better with the battle rifle and the sniper rifle as a kid, to be a better halo player. Instead I tried to get better with communication and better with leadership and better with personal development, to be a better man, to be a better business owner, to be more successful in my career, to have a better relationship.
Speaker 2:A lot of people last thing, a lot of people will come to Emil and I behind the scenes very vulnerably and I really appreciate it and they'll say how do I have a relationship like you? Your relationship is so incredible. And I say the answer is twofold. Number one you can't have a relationship the same as me, because a lot of this is her. I don't know how to teach you what she can teach you. So the reason we never fought for four years coming up on, it's mostly her. Trust me, I've almost lost my temper a few times. She's the one who diffused it. So that's number one.
Speaker 2:Number two is you have to become more capable in order to have a relationship like we have. Everyone wants a magnificent relationship. Everyone wants a brand new car, everyone wants a better house or a bigger home or a better career. Everyone wants. But the only way to actually achieve those things is to improve, improve, improve to get better. You have to get better at communication. You have to get better at being honest. You have to be better at being vulnerable. You have to be better at being emotionally aware. You have to be more intuitive.
Speaker 2:I can tell when you mean is off. I can tell when I've said something that's dumb. I can tell when her and I are on the same page. And it takes a lot. It takes a lot to go. You know what? Okay, I want to avoid this. But it takes a lot to say, sweetheart, like, are we good, is everything good? And to just sit there. And sometimes things aren't good and she has to tell me honestly. You know, lately there hasn't been as much of this love language and it's like, oh God, as if I didn't know. You know what I mean. Oh yeah, it's like no, I know. And then insert excuse, here I've been busy and I owe you the business. Kevin's on my ass. I'm kidding, but the point is it's not easy to sit there and to not make excuses. It's not easy to sit there. Kevin and I joke behind the scenes. We sit there and say the answer every single time is we have to get better.
Speaker 2:So that's all I've got, brother.
Speaker 1:I wrote down a quote when you were speaking in your epic monologue. This is what I wrote. This would be my next level nugget Uncertain growth is better than certain stagnation. That is really the foundation of this episode. That is a requirement. Uncertainty is a requirement for the life that you really want. It's a requirement for your dream life. It's a requirement for growth.
Speaker 1:When you grow, you're going to face things you've never faced before and there's going to be a lot of uncertainty. But I'm willing to bet that if you are more scared of change than you are, staying the same life probably will not look the way you want it to look a year, five years, ten years down the line, because you're not going to do things that facilitate growth. You're not going to do things and get outside your comfort zone. I do think it's two things. I think it's one it's uncertainty of results. I think there's a belief component too, because I do connect the fact that now I am the most excited for my future and I'm the most focused on changing and growing and evolving. But I also believe in myself the most I ever have. I have a belief that whatever new things present themselves I'll be able to handle, and I think that's a piece of it too. Maybe it's another one of those conversations of if you have level four belief in yourself, look for level 4.1 changes, level 4.1 growth, level 4.1 improvement, level 4.1 feedback, because that way at least you know it's a change that you can handle and it's not a change that's going to break you. And then when you 4.1 goes to 4.2, and then maybe you're at 4.5, and then maybe you're at 5. And then a few years down the line, a lot of things look different. But again, it's one of those things. It's not going to happen overnight and it doesn't have to be a giant change every single year.
Speaker 1:I know we're very blessed because we have the opportunity to change so often. There's so much going on behind the scenes and there's so much feedback and there's just so much happening that you and I change very quickly, which I'm grateful for. It wasn't always that way for me. In the very beginning it was very small. I was moving the needle a little bit, a little bit, a little bit. The snowball was very little in the beginning, so it's okay if it is for you and I would really dig into that. My question for you would be are you more afraid of change, and why? Or are you more afraid of staying the same and why, if I stay the same, I'm going to lose everything I have? And that is a very real understanding that I have. The business will outgrow me and my partner.
Speaker 2:You go deeper in that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's important. Everybody around me is growing. So the second I stop growing, the contrast begins the rubber band. So Alan's not going to stop growing. So if I stop growing, alan's going to grow. He's going to outgrow me at some point, and then the business is going to outgrow me and Taryn's growing. She's working on herself, she's studying relationships, she's doing her thing. If I stop growing, our relationship isn't going to succeed at the level it would.
Speaker 1:So that's really my belief. It's my responsibility to grow, not only for myself but for the people around me. If you're a parent and you have little ones, that's a really amazing thing to be able to do. Is we have someone on the team who has been sharing so many wins about her little one, and one of the reasons her daughter is doing so well is because her mother has grown so much, and that's amazing. That's an amazing piece of necessity, it's an amazing responsibility to have. So sometimes it's easier to grow for other people than it is yourself. And I would say sometimes the reason you want to, you're more comfortable Evolving, is because you know you must in order to keep the people in your life, and I I second that for sure.
Speaker 2:It's way easier with that. It wasn't until I was with Emilia that I started to be more afraid, because I used to be afraid to outgrow my peers, my friends, my family. And Now I'm afraid for the first time Maybe ever, in many ways, to be outgrown, but it's. It's awesome because it keeps me motivated. It keeps me motivated. So that's a side note here. But get around a peer group group, a group, get around a peer group. A peer group that is Igniting that fear in a different direction. Because if you're afraid to outgrow your husband or your wife or your partner or your, your friends or your family which definitely drives humans so much In hindsight very clearly I was very, very scared to grow my peer group.
Speaker 2:I am actually convinced one of the reasons I'm good at helping people achieve success in coaching is because I was trying to do that for all the people I didn't want to leave behind. And if you get around a peer group that is growing at a rapid rate, it's going to ignite you in such a powerful way because you'll be afraid to not grow more than you're afraid to grow. And I'll tell you what that's very, very powerful. Obviously, be careful with it because if it's too much contrast, it can be debilitating to your mental health. But I Think that's one of the biggest cheat codes ever. I have one client we call it a five-pointed star in my coaching will will draw a star and I'll say who are the five people that are the closest to you. And I have one client where I said you're good, just do not just keep your star, keep your five-pointed star, stay in that, stay in the corner of those people and you will flourish beyond your wildest dreams. You will blow your own mind. But it's gonna be really hard for her to stay there Because the people in her five-pointed star are growing rapidly.
Speaker 2:They're reading books, they're tracking habits, they're tracking finances, they're off to the races. I mean these are really really really exceptional, extraordinary, heart driven, driven achievers. And for this person. She's not as Achievement oriented as her peers, so it will be a challenge for her to keep up, but if she can Imagine, imagine what's possible. I mean that's why a lot of people join book club is it just keeps them reading. Nobody wants to fall behind, so everybody just keeps reading. It's. It's awesome. I'm reading more books because a book club for sure.
Speaker 1:Next, love a nation, if you really want to continue growing and evolving and improving right? We're a podcast that's about self-improvement, improving yourself, bettering your best, evolving constantly. Our 12th round of group coaching is starting on October 10th and that is exactly what it's about. We have redesigned it over the last, so the last group was the first group of the redesign and went really, really, really well Best attendance ever. We've got a lot of really good feedback. It is right for you.
Speaker 1:If you want to grow, you don't have to be a business owner, you don't have to be an entrepreneur, you don't have to be a podcaster, you don't have to be any of those things. You just should be someone who wants to grow and I promise you we will help you do that. We will have a link in the show notes to bring you to the landing page, as well as the Disc Out Code, which is NLU listener one word, and it will give you 30% off the entire purchase price. It'll end up being $96.60 per month. It's been very, very affordable for the value we are offering. We'd love to have you in there. Please join if you feel now is the time.
Speaker 2:I got reached out, too, by one of our listeners on Facebook Messenger. I will keep it anonymous, but this person, if you are listening, I appreciate you. I'm grateful that you reached out. Hey, how much does it cost for you to kick my ass? Question mark. Obviously she's being playful, but the point is is that my coaching is going to help you stay more accountable. I will kick you outside of your comfort zone and you can pay me for that.
Speaker 2:One of the cool things that my clients share with me is Alan's going to keep me on point, so I don't have to worry about it as much. That's my job. My job is to keep you in alignment towards your goals. That's all I'm really doing. When you start to fall off course, I'm going to nudge you back on course. If you fall off course too much, we're not going to end up coaching together. Hopefully it can be the incentive for you to stay in alignment with your dreams.
Speaker 2:Remember, I'm not a dictator. I'm not going to be unkind or mean. I'm not going to be toxic. I'm going to honor the choices you make towards the goals that you decide you want. If, at any time, you decide I don't want those goals, I will stop kicking your butt in that direction. It's a really awesome thing. It's pay as you play. Please reach out to me on Facebook or Instagram or email. You can contact me in the show notes and just say hey, I want to check this out. At very least, ask me what the price is so that we can see if it's aligned.
Speaker 1:I've been getting my butt kicked for seven years Best thing ever, thank you, brother. Hasn't cost me a dime, just a lot of blood, sweat and tears and anxiety attacks. But that was my journey. That's not going to be your journey. If you sign up, I promise, I promise It'll be much. No, no, it'll be much more positive than mine. But, as I always say, I owe most of my growth to Alan for sure.
Speaker 2:I appreciate you man. I appreciate you back. I will only be as hard on you to the extent that you want to get to that level. So I will try my best to keep you in the challenge skills sweet spot, so to speak.
Speaker 1:I'm out here trying to change the world, so again, we're talking about fear of change versus fear of staying the same. I got to grow forever and ever and ever and ever. And for you it might not be that way. So yeah, I was just kidding about getting your butt kicked, you know, you're going to be.
Speaker 2:fine, you're going to be fine Tomorrow, alan.
Speaker 1:Mr Alan Lazarus, tomorrow for episode number 1474.
Speaker 2:God we've been on the 400 or the 1400s, it does seem yeah, for a long time. 1400s have been the longest.
Speaker 1:I'm not sure why. How much do you understand your ego? We're going to do that episode. We were talking a lot about ego last week. For some reason, almost every podcast that went on last week we were talking about ego. So I said you know what? Let's bring it over to NLU and see what we can do with it. So we're going to do that tomorrow. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, Grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we do not have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.
Speaker 2:Keep improving Next level nation. Thank you.
