Next Level University

#1488 - Make More Time To Practice Your Passions (Part 2)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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What if you could better understand your core values through your passions? In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros talk about the vulnerability of sharing our passions, the fear of judgment and rejection, and how we can unintentionally belittle others' passions.  They highlight the beauty of owning our passions, no matter how odd they may seem to others, and the significance of finding a community where we can freely share these without judgment.

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Show notes: 
[2:20] Our passions are connected to our core values
[6:37] You don't have to agree with someone else's passion
[8:54] Afraid to share our passions
[10:37] Tarryn, the host of The Business Of Happiness podcast, shares her wonderful experience with Kevin and the Next Level Podcast Solutions team
[13:50] Afraid to lose relationships
[17:22] It's vulnerable to share our dreams
[20:34] Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Speaker 1:

Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed our latest episode because we're gonna do a part two of it today. Yesterday's episode was episode number 1487 make more time to practice your passions. Today is episode number one thousand four hundred eighty eight and it's I Guess, it's make more time to practice your passions, part two.

Speaker 1:

And the reason we wanted to do a part two of this episode is because we had a lot of live breakthroughs yesterday when we were talking about this, and it all started from a Relatively funny story about how when you're on dating apps or you meet someone new, they they tell you about their passions and Then you spend years with them and then you realize maybe they don't partake in any of the passions that they listed and it's either a lack of time or maybe just a lack of prioritization. And in yesterday's episode we were talking about the depths of why that might be, and I was thinking after the gym this morning, I was in my car and I was reviewing yesterday's episode and I think the reason Our passions are so important to us and sharing them can be a very, very vulnerable place is one. Oftentimes, our passions are connected to our core values. That's one and two. Our passions are very, very, very personal because they mean they might mean way more to us than they mean to anybody else, mm-hmm. And that's why, when you meet someone who has a similar passion to you, you connect the fact that you don't like UFC when we were in you and I went to, when we were in Pittsburgh for our speech we ended up staying an extra day because Alan went to this dinner that I didn't get invited to, unfortunately.

Speaker 1:

No, I'm just kidding, but I remember saying hey, man, I'm gonna watch, you have see, saturday night, what are your thoughts on that? And you're like, yeah, dude, whatever, I'll just work and you know, maybe I'll watch a fight or something with you. But there was a, there was a part of me that was afraid that you'd look up and say like, why do you like this man? He's gonna bleed now, lower each other or sweating all over each other. And then then what do I say? I don't know, man, I just like it, leave me alone. Why do you like the? Why do you like the shit you like? You're weird.

Speaker 1:

I'm not weird so I Think, connecting to what we talked about yesterday your passions are very close to your heart. One of the reasons they're so close to your heart is, for most of us, or many of us, our passions do not produce any profit. They're just things that we love. We would we love them so much that we would do them for free if somebody came to you and Said hey, and obviously in a different universe, alan, we're gonna take care of all your bills. We just need you to watch Eight movies a day. That's it. Let's say, four movies a day. What you need to work, we'll just do an eight hour day. We'll watch four two-hour movies, we'll have snacks for you and everything. What are your thoughts on this new career move? You'd be pretty excited about that.

Speaker 1:

I had considered being a movie critic See so I think one of the reasons our passions are so personal to us and they're afraid at times to share is because we are afraid of being rejected. We're afraid of, we're afraid of somebody seeing that part of us and not liking it and judging it and turn and shutting it down and them looking at us differently because we have a passion about something that they don't understand. I think it's that when you don't understand a passion, it is the collective you, not you. It's very obvious. It's very obvious when someone has no idea why you value what you value, you can tell they have no idea and Oftentimes that lack of awareness seems like lack of interest and or support.

Speaker 2:

It's so interesting because and anyone who listened to yesterday's episode knows that I and I told Kevin this before a lot of the episodes we do I feel very confident, like I've drawn a lot of conclusions that are accurate. I consider myself a scientist. I'm always running experiments, I'm always trying to contemplate, I'm always trying to understand, I'm always trying to have a deeper level of understanding, and I this is, you can tell, based on last episode, and right now I don't fully understand this yet. I haven't connected all the dots yet.

Speaker 2:

One thing that did come to me, though, that I think will be of value, is I didn't mean to do this, but I think there have been times where I've unintentionally minimized other people's passions, so, for example, people who are obsessed with cars. I just don't get it. I love that. I just don't get it. It makes no sense to me. And what's really? Fascinating about this and I'm not gonna make Kevin feel bad for his liking of cars, but it seems really dumb to me and that's okay. But and while I have maybe unintentionally minimized other people's passions at times, I've definitely never bullied anyone for them. Like, I didn't mention that UFC thing.

Speaker 1:

I actually, if anything, talked to you about it and I asked you about it. We hung out, we had pizza, it was all gravy Right, and I asked you questions about different fighters and I love the mastery of UFC.

Speaker 2:

I love the mastery of martial arts. You know the amount of dedication, the work ethic, the discipline, the craft of it, and I think that's all really awesome, but I also am super passionate about mastery, and if this even goes way, back too of my stepdad used to build engines and build cars and I didn't really like him.

Speaker 2:

We didn't get along well, and so I think part of it has to do with my own stuff anyway, and so you don't have to agree with someone else's passion, and if I made Kev feel bad for his passions.

Speaker 2:

I don't think I do, but if I did, that would make him want to hide them even more when he's around me, and if he made me feel bad for my passion for finance or business or science, technology, engineering, mathematics, that you know it's so interesting. If you're out there watching or listening to this if Kevin and I can create safe space for each other to lean into our passions we're actually going to be way more successful, not way less.

Speaker 2:

And I think that's a fascinating breakthrough Because if you're passionate about cars and you're passionate about rapping and you're passionate about martial arts. How many other people in the world are passionate about those things?

Speaker 1:

More than self-improvement, for sure.

Speaker 2:

Definitely Right. And if I'm passionate about science, technology, engineering, mathematics, business and finance. How much will that help our business grow Right?

Speaker 1:

Whereas if I have to exile that part of me, hide that part of me where our business isn't going to be as successful. If you have to hide those parts of you, our business isn't going to be as successful.

Speaker 2:

Now, if you go off the rails, and you're buying a bunch of cars at the expense of our business. That's a different story right so obviously you have to drive to find with this, but at the end of the day, I didn't realize that I have been hiding my passions my whole life to some extent, I think less now than ever, but I remember when I first found personal development. I was 26 years old after my car accident and I just was obsessed, I mean.

Speaker 1:

I was like this is it?

Speaker 2:

This is the answer, this is what I've looked for my whole life. Wait, so if I improve myself, my whole life will improve. Oh my God. This is the best, Because before that, I was always focused on external results.

Speaker 1:

I was really good at achievement, but not as good at personal growth, and I think I was emotionally mature in hindsight Now.

Speaker 2:

I went all in on the inner work, and then the outer results are a byproduct of that, but our whole business is designed around our passions. You turn your passion into purpose, into profit, and I think that it's one of the main reasons people don't achieve their dreams, I think, is because they're so scared to share their passions.

Speaker 1:

And you can't be profitable without sharing it. That's a fascinating breakthrough.

Speaker 2:

You cannot turn your passion into purpose. Passion is for you. Passion is something you adore. It's something that you're obsessed with. You don't even need to know why You're obsessed with it. You love it. You always have Purpose is serving other people with that, and profit can't come unless one and two are already taken care of. Meaning, kevin and I are passionate about self-improvement, holistic self-improvement. Now we are in service of you right now sharing holistic self-improvement with you purpose.

Speaker 1:

For a profit indirect profit.

Speaker 2:

Obviously we don't make profit off this show. We don't have ads, but we have coaching, we have clients, we have group coaching, we have group coaching, we have all these other things. So I think a lot of us don't live our dream life, kev because we are afraid to share our passions.

Speaker 1:

And it makes sense, because when we're young when you share your passions, you get made fun of.

Speaker 2:

You know, you were a young man once. I was a young man once A group of guys sharing passions. I mean, some of the stuff you hear kids say to each other is wild.

Speaker 1:

What are you a blank? What are you a blank, you know, oh that's real cool, you and your little thing, you know, we just rip our passions out of each other. So unless you're passionate about football. As a guy in America, you're in trouble, right that kind of thing.

Speaker 2:

And. I wonder how many people are actually passionate about it for themselves rather than for social acceptance.

Speaker 1:

Well, and then the other interesting piece of it is if you're passionate about finances and science and making the best possible decision. I'm passionate about cars, which is none of that it's actually not a good decision, but I don't care. You can see how one of my deep-seated fears is one of my passions is going to create distance between you and I, I remember saying to you like, I want to have a bunch of cars.

Speaker 1:

I know it's dumb and I know it's materialistic, but it's been a dream of mine since I was a little boy. I never thought I'd be able to have nice things. That's what I want. I've always wanted that. Do I want a lot of the other things that people might aspire? Do I want to go on a ton of fancy vacations and stuff? No, I don't really care about that, that's not. I think Taryn will want to do that, so I want to do that for her. But I want to have cars. That's what I want. But I also know it's not a good financial decision and I know you know that.

Speaker 2:

But there is a way to make it.

Speaker 1:

I like where this is going.

Speaker 2:

I like this conversation. Well, think about it, kev. We have a business that's built on helping people achieve their goals and dreams. If you're not achieving your goals, and dreams. We're not leading by example. Now, you don't need 50 cars that all cost a half million dollars. That would be not optimal for our business.

Speaker 1:

But leading by example and achieving your dreams.

Speaker 2:

I think needs to happen. And so it's a very vulnerable conversation Even right now, kevin and I in real time this is a vulnerable conversation. Just like I have a dream to have an incubator program like Y Combinator, where young people come, they want to start a company and they have tons of time and effort and a big idea, but they have no money and they have no experience.

Speaker 2:

And so as an older man later on in life I'm going to have plenty of experience and plenty of money, but not any time and effort left, so I'm going to mentor these young people to start. So Y Combinator is a company that's called an incubator program. I'll go quick with this. But you know DoorDash was started there. I think Twitter, you know a bunch of Pandora was started there. An incubator program is like a hardcore school for business, kind of like a mini Shark Tank sort of thing, but more behind the scenes and less flashy crap. Nothing against Shark Tank, but yeah.

Speaker 2:

Less reality TV stuff, and you know that's a dream of mine. And so at the end of the day, I think we don't share our dreams and achieve our dreams and achieve our passions and live a life of passion because we're so afraid to lose relationships. But what's ironic about that is that your relationships are supposed to be a byproduct of living in your passions, because the law of attraction doesn't work when you're not living in your passions.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, someone came to good, no good Someone came to, came to kev once Behind the scenes and said, hey, my cat is having some troubles. What do you think about XYZ and kev?

Speaker 1:

talked to me after that. He's like look at how interesting that is. Because, I'm the ultimate cat dad.

Speaker 2:

She associates cats with me and I'm sitting there going.

Speaker 1:

I have a cat.

Speaker 2:

Right, but I haven't branded myself, I haven't, I kind of have now a little more.

Speaker 1:

But, I haven't branded myself as the ultimate cat dad.

Speaker 2:

We're afraid to brand ourselves. We are we're afraid to share these things because then when, when that gets attacked or torn down, it's so close, it's like you know it messes with our identity.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I Think it's a core value. I think about it. Why do I want to? Why do I? Why do I want to rap? Why do I love rapping? It's creativity, which is core value of mine. It's freedom. I can say whatever I want and wrap kind of rap about things that I don't normally talk about. It's just different.

Speaker 2:

There's more I can actually have like more ego when I rap. I don't like having ego in real life.

Speaker 1:

There's a competitive aspect to it. There's a lot of, there's a lot of core values wrapped up in our passions. Why so, if you're out there and you have a core value or you have a passion of hiking?

Speaker 2:

Why.

Speaker 1:

Maybe it's a core value of exercise. Maybe it's a core value value of nature.

Speaker 2:

Maybe it's a core value of Variety couldn't think of the word variety you.

Speaker 1:

You are somebody who really, really, really needs variety and you like seeing different places and trying different things, and I Think that's one of the big reasons why. And then to your point, if somebody was to come out and say cats are terrible, and they're the worst thing ever, and you're soft because, you don't like dogs?

Speaker 2:

I don't think that would affect me that much.

Speaker 1:

It's like whatever Cool man, whatever the lions are the king of the jungle. Just so you know okay.

Speaker 2:

But with dogs? Yeah, okay, but with that said, this goes back to the unlovable versus not good enough. Yes if I were to say you're never gonna have that car?

Speaker 1:

I punch you in your throat.

Speaker 2:

No, okay, would you be offended? I think you just answered but the point and I'm not saying that, by the way, that was a hypothetical yeah attack.

Speaker 1:

So a fake attack. Not anymore, I wouldn't be offended. But in the past it would have right. Definitely it would have been like dude.

Speaker 2:

You're never gonna have your dream car. Yeah 100% saying that dream car that's 260 grand or whatever the MG GTR thing, nice, well done. I didn't mean to lessen it there.

Speaker 1:

I think I'm proud of you for getting it right. I have it right here I got it.

Speaker 2:

You already bought it.

Speaker 1:

They sent me the little one.

Speaker 2:

I'm waiting on the big one. Well, you know what's interesting is? I didn't realize that that might be offensive.

Speaker 1:

The fact that I'm like the HDMG GTR thing.

Speaker 2:

I don't and again, this is a learning experience for me too. I don't care you could pull up in that thing. I might not even notice Genuinely. I mean I would, because I'd be like where'd you get that? But it's, I just don't know how to care about that.

Speaker 1:

It's okay, that's okay that I don't care and it's okay that you do.

Speaker 2:

But we are afraid to lose our relationships, we're afraid to lose each other, we're afraid to be ridiculed. But if I said you could never get that car, that would hurt you so much. So it's it's. It's vulnerable to share your fucking dreams. Pardon my French Emilia. She shared her dreams with me when we were a couple months into our relationship and she was so scared and I remember thinking like Sweetheart, she's like well, they're really big. I'm like babe, that's okay.

Speaker 2:

Hello, you know just joking, but my dreams are large. Thank you, you're safe here. I promise you're safe here, but I know why. Yeah when she shared those dreams with other people in the past, those those passions she got ridiculed of like yeah right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah right, that's not gonna happen, and you know what's ironic about that If you do have a lot of self-belief when people crap on your dreams, it actually motivates you. I know that's not the case for everybody, but there was a post in Next Level Nation two days ago or today it was either today or yesterday that talked about what motivates you and I shared this Vulnerably.

Speaker 1:

I said you know what motivates me? Bullies when I was on the basketball court and I was like scrawny.

Speaker 2:

I remember I would practice extra hours and eventually I was way better than all those bullies, and that motivates me. It always has, but I know not everyone's like that, by the way. So if being attacked actually demotivates you, then you gotta be careful. And then, of course, you gotta play close to the hip and you're probably unlikely to share your passions. Maybe you paint and maybe you're so afraid to put your work out there, and so hopefully this unlocks something for everybody, because underneath all of this is just fear. I'm afraid Kevin's afraid, and we will live fulfilling, aligned, magnificent lives to the extent that we overcome and admit that we are afraid. Another good one. I enjoyed this topic very much, way more than I expected, so hopefully, whether you're watching or listening, you didn't hate the last two episodes we did because we did two of them back to back.

Speaker 2:

I don't know what we're gonna do for tomorrow's episode, because we're out here. Jeffin, there's been a lot, there's just a lot going on, so we have to get dialed back in and again, that's one of the beautiful things that we've always aspired to is giving you the behind the scenes. I don't know what the next episode's gonna be, because I'm very overwhelmed and Alan's very overwhelmed and we got on here and laughed at each other and said oh my, goodness, what are we doing?

Speaker 2:

So I don't know. I don't know what it is. Please join next. We're out here, Jeffin. Please join Next. Love and Nation, if you haven't.

Speaker 1:

Again, it's a great place to say hey based on episode number 1487 and 1488,. Here are a few of my passions that I haven't necessarily felt comfortable sharing with certain people. I promise you can do it next love and nation, because again, Alan, myself and the amazing team are trying to lead the charge with owning our weird and if you think your passions are weird, maybe they are, but they're not gonna be weird in a place filled with people who love weird stuff. So please join our private Facebook group. Next.

Speaker 2:

Love and Nation. Again tomorrow for episode number 1489,. It's gonna be something good.

Speaker 1:

I don't know what yet, but I promise it will be valuable as always. We love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and at NLU we get out of fans.

Speaker 2:

We have family. We'll talk to you all tomorrow. Share your passions. Next, love and Nation Boo-hoom.

Speaker 1:

All right, that was a good one.

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host