Next Level University

#1511 - What Does Purpose Mean To You?

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Want to unlock a deeper understanding of your life's purpose? It's a lot more than just a choice - it's a lifelong commitment and a responsibility. It can be the guiding light in our lives, the driving force behind our actions, and the bedrock of our beliefs. Today, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros talk about the nuts and bolts of living with purpose, navigating the bumps on the road when something doesn't feel right, and the joy of finding a path that resonates with your true self. Changes are inevitable, but with a consistent pursuit of growth and the willingness to seek help when necessary, the path to discovering your purpose becomes more precise.

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Show notes:
[2:03] What's the reason?
[3:04] Giving your everything
[5:31] Maximize your unique potential and help others do the same
[8:22] Uncover's overtime
[13:29] The vibe of your life is connected to your purpose
[15:23] Janine talks about how valuable Group Coaching is, what her takeaway is, and why she thinks you should take the leap
[17:04] Positive impact at the moment
[22:34] It comes from your core
[25:11] Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Speaker 1:

Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your well. We hope you enjoyed our latest episode as much as Alan and I did. It was episode number 1510, an open conversation about overwhelm. I want to do more of those episodes, because usually we come up with a title and then we do an episode on it. That was just an open conversation and I enjoyed that very much. I thought kind of took us back to the hyper conscious days Today for episode number 1511, happy Sunday.

Speaker 1:

What does purpose mean to you? So Alan usually asks me hey, man, why are we doing this episode? What was the story, the example, the origin story, as he says? And I said dude, I don't know, I got nothing. I thought of it last week and I want to do an episode on it and that's as far as I got. He's like, oh okay, well, whatever, let's just roll and do it.

Speaker 1:

And in this moment Alan and I are very tired. It's been a long week, there's been a lot of changes. We're recording this on Thursday, so we still got a few days to go. But when I think about purpose, I think about how do you show up consistently and why do you show up the way you do? Purpose is reason. So if somebody says what is the purpose of you putting I have electrolytes here in front of me that you're not sponsored, we're not sponsored by them, so I'm not going to say what they are, but I what is the reason? What is the purpose of those? Well, they help you replenish things that you lose when you sweat a lot. That's the reason. That's the purpose of the product.

Speaker 1:

When I think of a human's purpose, I think of a long term through line, of something that you identify with my purpose. I've said this for the last however many years, maybe five years my purpose is to be the person I needed at my deepest point and my lowest point, at my worst point, at rock bottom, and even when I'm tired, I want to show up and I want to make you laugh and I want you to have some sort of value added to your life. And I said that right before this. I was on a podcast and we were talking about purpose and I said purpose is a responsibility. The purpose that I stated at the beginning of this interview to be the person I needed at my lowest point. That's what I said to this person. I said, when I show up, I'm tired and I don't really feel great and I feel off.

Speaker 1:

But my purpose, the reason for me being here today, is to give everything I have, and that's who I want to be. That's who I'm supposed to be. That's my purpose. That's my reason for doing this podcast. That's my reason for having the personality I have. That's my reason for trying to make people laugh. And I said I'm going to make her laugh and I'm going to make her laugh. And she laughed a couple of times. That's just who I am. That's part of my purpose.

Speaker 1:

My purpose is to leave places better than I found them, to maybe be able to make someone's day with a funny joke or a call to the police, and I'm going to make her laugh. And I'm going to make her laugh. And I'm going to make her laugh, to be able to make someone's day with a funny joke or a compliment. So the purpose is the through line. I feel like it's the through line of intention. That's what purpose means to me. So my question for you, whether you're watching or listening, what does it mean to you? Does it mean, does it seem foggy and blurry. I don't know. I don't really understand my purpose. I'm not sure. Maybe to be a good parent, I don't know, I haven't found it yet. Or are you certain to be the best parent humanly possible and always be there for the person I take care of in the right way, to the best of my ability? Maybe it's something completely different. So that's my early question, alan what does purpose mean to you?

Speaker 2:

Heavy question, definitely One of the heaviest there is, and it's interesting because 1,510 episodes ago you asked me that question on the very first paper conscious podcast.

Speaker 2:

I do not remember that, and I gave you an algorithm on how to figure out your purpose. This will be a little different. What does purpose mean to me? So in my office, I look over here and there's a whiteboard with my purpose written out and it says you are here to maximize your own unique potential and to help others do the same. Everything else is secondary. But then you go underneath that and it's like well, how do you do that? Okay, well, you help someone grow, and when they grow, they impact more people, and when they impact more people, they become more profitable, and then they reinvest that profit into more growth and more impact, and then they become even more profitable. So the how is very different than the why, and it's like well, why? Why is that your purpose, alan? Why is that your purpose, kev? To be the person you needed at your darkest moment, and you can spend your life asking that question, and I honestly think you should.

Speaker 2:

I think the only wrong answer is to stop searching, and I don't think our purpose is something that you go create or manufacture. I think it's something you uncover. I think it's something that, as you grow and learn about yourself, about other people and about the world, I think it becomes more and more clear we're all born and we don't really know who we are yet. We don't really. You know, kevin and I were born in a small town, so we don't really. We're in our small little middle school and then we're in a small little high school and then we go to. I went to college, kevin hadn't. He went into the workforce, but we have our own little world. We don't, we hadn't traveled yet. We don't know outside of our own little bubbles, and so we don't really know who we are yet or why we are yet. And I think that we're born naked, scared and ignorant, and we don't know what makes us different.

Speaker 2:

Yet I always say if you were born in China, you probably speak Chinese. If you were born, I had a friend from Shanghai and he went to my college His name is Yele and I asked him all about China and all about Shanghai and all about his upbringing, and he asked me about mine. And it's so different. It's so different, but there's similarities. The point is is if I was born in Shanghai, I would speak Chinese. If he was born in the US, he would speak English. He actually does, cause he went to school and he learned English, you know, in his upbringing.

Speaker 2:

But the point is, all of us are these empty hard drives. We don't have any files on us yet we are born and we don't know who we are yet. We don't have self-concept yet, and Emilia has done a lot of research about this. Apparently, when you're like two years old and it depends, it's anywhere from one and a half to three and a half or something, I don't know, don't quote me you look in the mirror and you say, oh, that's me, and that's called self-concept. That's Kevin, that's people have been saying Kevin, but I never knew that Kevin was me or Alan was me or whatever.

Speaker 2:

And so your purpose is something that you uncover over time, by learning yourself, by learning how the world works, by learning how other people work, by learning how the human condition works, and it's a search that you search for forever and there is no one answer. But what I can tell you is my 34-year-old version, my 34-year-old version that I've been. It's taken me 34 years to uncover. Is that quote? My purpose is to maximize my own unique potential and to help others do the same. Everything else is secondary, and that that is my through line. And when Kevin says through line. By the way, I've been leaning into my movie buffness, my film loverness, ever since I was a kid. I've been obsessed with film, particularly movies. I don't like shows as much. I like some shows, but movies are my jam and a through line is kind of like the theme of a film. So, for example, if you've ever seen Avatar I use Avatar because most people have seen it it's one of the most highest grossing movies of all time globally.

Speaker 1:

I fell asleep during a garbage movie.

Speaker 2:

The second one or the first one?

Speaker 1:

I'm not going to see the second one. I fell asleep during the first.

Speaker 2:

All right, well, that'll be a debate we have behind the scenes, but the theme is essentially someone. It's ego versus spiritual, it's nature and reverence for nature and the environment versus ego. Take what's yours, and that's the through line, that's the theme, and so, whether it's what happened to the Native Americans when we came to this country in the US, or that's kind of what it is, it's the story about us thinking we deserve by default and then taking things that aren't ours. And it's ego, it's ego versus true nature. I would say that's the best through line, the best purpose of Avatar. So, avatar, the purpose is to entertain people, but there's a deeper underlying purpose. That's why I love it. And the deeper underlying purpose is to teach us that lesson.

Speaker 2:

And the villain in every movie is ego driven. The villain in every movie is arrogant and abrasive and bully and take mine, get mine, you know that kind of thing. The hero of every story is someone who has tragedy and adversity and decides to do something about it and become more and try to save the world, or the princess, or whatever. And the guide is the wise, older person who's already gone on their journey and who knows themselves and who knows their purpose and who realizes that all of us have a purpose and that you have to go on the journey to find it. And so my long winded answer to your question, kev, of what's your purpose is that's my 3.4 version of it. I'm 34 years old, so I call it version 3.4. I'm about to be 3.5. And that's what it is. That's what we're doing here on this podcast. What is the point of this? Why are you even listening to me?

Speaker 1:

I usually drift off somewhere. Just like on Avatar yeah, thinking about cheeseburgers.

Speaker 2:

But if you want to have a rich, dynamic, positive life, if you really want to be more successful and you want to grow in your health and your wealth and your love.

Speaker 2:

That's why you're listening to me right now. It's not necessarily because you like me you may or may not. It's not necessarily because you don't have anything better to do. You could be doing anything else in the world right now, within reason. You're here for a purpose and I think the only wrong answer is to stop searching and stop asking the question. And I think as you grow older, you'll get more and more and more honed, and what used to happen is you spread yourself too thin on all these persons, places, things and ideas that are not that aligned. All of us in high school, we're all over the place. We don't know really who we are, yet we're just winging it, teenagers, right, winging it. Trying everything, trying every food, trying every person, trying everything, trying every party, trying every sport, trying every class. That's what you do. You explore and then eventually you're like, ooh, definitely not. And then you're like, ooh, this might be my jam and I think that's life.

Speaker 1:

I remember let's shout it to Cope Daddy. I remember a buddy of mine, andrew. He said to me one time he's like hey, there's a group of people I wanna introduce you to. They're called the Bumble Crew cause they all met on Bumble. And he's like it's a group of four girls, he's like, but I don't hang out with them for that reason. It's like I just like them, they're cool. And I was like, all right, whatever, man, it is what it is, let's do it.

Speaker 1:

And I remember I don't know if it was the same night, but we went bowling and then we went back to their place and we stayed up until like two o'clock in the morning and I did a next level while I was hyper-conscious. I kind of did like a hyper-conscious speech, just going off on the universe and yeah, it's gonna change the way you think, it changed the way you act, it changed the way you live. It's like that's simple. But it's not that simple, cause if it was, we wouldn't even be talking about it. And to Alan's point, the theme, the through line, the I don't know the vibe, the vibe of your life, is connected to your purpose.

Speaker 1:

I've been coaching people for a long time, long before I knew how to coach or what I was doing, but I always wanted to be a good person. When I coach people, the good person thing came first. And again, have I made mistakes? Absolutely, am I perfect? No, very far from it, but I do try to get better. I take pride in that. So, whether it's I don't know, whether it's donating to someone's go fund me, that's in the community, without anybody knowing and without putting my name, cause I don't need anybody to know and it probably sounds like I need you to know, but that's not why I'm saying it To the way a waiter or waitress gets treated, or a delivery driver, Uber driver.

Speaker 1:

I, when I went to, when I went to New Jersey, I had an Airbnb that was like behind a bunch of houses and there was this private path and I ordered Taco Bell because it was it was a long day and the person, the lady, called me. She was like hey, I'm here with your food and I was like, oh, my goodness, I'll be right out and I like ran down the driveway to her and I was like I hope you have the best day, have a great day. Thank you so much. I appreciate it and it's like that lights me up. That's my purpose. That's my purpose. The podcast is the vehicle. My purpose is not to be a podcaster that's. Podcasting didn't exist when I was born. That's not. It's not my purpose. That was never my purpose. This is the vehicle to deliver my purpose. My purpose is to be a good person, to to be a good person, that.

Speaker 2:

But then the question becomes what does it mean to be a good person in your own unique flavor?

Speaker 1:

Well, that's, that's up to you. That's up to you. That's that's a personal thing, it depends.

Speaker 2:

I know I'm asking. What does it mean to you?

Speaker 1:

To try to not let my my mud get on other people when this is. This is kind of the core of why I want to do this episode. Someone asked I don't remember what it was it was something about legacy. Legacy is Alan's favorite word Used to be I don't know if it still is used to be and I said what I've learned about legacy is I do not think about what people will think of me when I die, because when I leave this interview with you not you, but this person I am dead to almost everybody, unless they come listen to our podcast. If they don't, this is it.

Speaker 1:

I get one shot. One shot to be a good person, to make them laugh to whatever. It's the same with an Uber driver. It's the same with somebody who's delivering grub hub, it's the same, it's the same. I may never see this person again. This is my one shot. This is my legacy.

Speaker 1:

My legacy is in the moment and I'm trying to think of it that way. Yeah, I'm always trying to think of it that way. Now again, does that mean every time I'm in an Uber I'm 10 out of 10, super excited? No, it doesn't. Sometimes I just keep my mouth shut and I don't say anything Depends, right, I do have to put myself first, but that is the through line of who I am. I want to facilitate a positive experience for people and I want people to feel cared about and seen and heard and safe. And you can see that in the community and you can see that in the podcast and in the business and in Alan and I's relationship. That's all for a reason. So again, it's not about us, it's not about me, it's not about my purpose.

Speaker 1:

But what can you do to get a little bit more accurate, a little bit more clarity, a little bit more specific with your purpose? Because when you're living on purpose and I know you hear a lot of people say that but when you're living on purpose, there's really nothing like it. The really we do an episode a day, not because it makes us more money. That is nothing. It doesn't make us more money. If anything, it costs us more money to do all the content that we're doing. It's not about us. This podcast isn't about us. The business isn't about us. It's not about us. It's about the purpose, right, and hopefully it shows through. But what is your unique flavor of that? What could you do to get a little bit more clear. I think a lot of us get we get stuck in a cycle of I could never do that or everybody does that. Everybody wants to be a good person.

Speaker 1:

We're not talking about the vehicle. We're not talking about how do you deliver it to the world. We're talking about the through line. We're talking about the through line. Think of every movie about a superhero. It's the same. Almost every movie is the same. The through line is the same, but the characters are different and the city is different and the villains are different, and the past is different and the actors are different. It's the same thing. The purpose of an action movie is the same, but they're all different in their own way. I think it's kind of the same for humans.

Speaker 2:

I know we get a jump. The fascinating thing that I realized in this episode is your legacy is micro, moment to moment, and mine is macro, which is those moments stacked up over a lifetime. We are here for a reason on this podcast episode, and it makes more and more sense as I get older and older and, hopefully, wiser and wiser Not hopefully, I am getting wiser. It's interesting because your purpose is to have a positive impact in the moment, and my purpose was to have the biggest positive impact I can possibly have, and you can't do one without the other. It's really cool. It's really really cool.

Speaker 2:

To Kev's point, purpose is impacting others, it's serving others. The only thing that I would say that is actually needs to be defined about a purpose is it can't just be about you. That's a passion. If you love cooking and you only cook for you, that is a passion. That's great, awesome. I have passions too, but a purpose is something bigger than you. It has to be bigger than you, it has to, and so that's the only thing. Other than that, the rest is up to you. The rest is something you uncover. You know the answer.

Speaker 2:

Last thing I'll share I was on a coaching call and I learned this from Emilia. Kevin and I have talked about the deepest wise many times, but she does a different framework, which is what does that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean? What would that mean? I was on a coaching call. We dug real deep and there's always a moment where it's like oh no, oh no, this is going to get super emotional and it's I don't want to have to share this, because this is a deep pain. I usually type it out and then they ball this is like a common thing. So, god, my coaching probably sounds terrible.

Speaker 1:

So those sounds hardcore, but it's not. We go deep. It's good, it's good, it's good.

Speaker 2:

You get deep into your heart of why you're doing what you're doing and what's really driving you underneath. You know, instead of looking at the fruit, we go to the root. Okay, and so, anyways, I get to this point where I'm like, oh no, here we go. And there's this point where I say, well, what does that mean? And we get to this one. You know, I'll share this anonymously very quickly.

Speaker 2:

Well, I had to have this person over because we've known each other for 30 years and you know, I didn't really want to hang out with her, but I kind of did and I kind of didn't understand and I knew it wasn't what's best for me, but I knew it was best for her and I said, okay, okay, all right. So if you don't have her over, then blank. And she said well, then I'm, I'm a dick. I said, okay, okay, fair, all right. And that means I'm blank, useless. Eventually we get to useless. She didn't jump right there, it was like a couple other ones. You know, I'm a dick and I'm inconsiderate and I'm blah, blah, blah, okay, okay. And we're going into the belief systems. And then we get down. Eventually it's I'm useless. And I said, okay, all right, fair. And this is when I was like oh no, if you're useless, then then that means blank. And at the very bottom it basically was, and this is what I had to type out, because she couldn't get there on her own, and I said that you're not grateful for your life and therefore not deserving of it. And that was the deep, deep, deep. That was the depths. Okay, this person unconsciously has believed that if I'm useless, aka not useful to others, aka not putting others first, then I'm a bad person, which is because I'm not deserving of this life. I'm not deserving of this life unless I can be useful. Now, as far as core beliefs go, that's actually not that uncommon and it's actually pretty useful, believe it or not, being useful is a good thing, and I have a very similar core. So your purpose comes from your core, and your core has a strength and a weakness, and the weakness brings massive pain, and so your purpose comes from your deepest pain. And there's a way to uncover all of that. And the script that she was running is if I'm useless, then I don't deserve life. If I don't deserve life, then I'm useless. See that loop. You can get caught in that loop. So the reason she had this person over for a whole weekend. She would never do that again.

Speaker 2:

After this coaching call which is good and it was not aligned and it was at the expense of her and her family is because she didn't feel deserving of life. It's not you don't. You didn't do it because you don't want to be a dick. That's the surface level reason, right. There's deeper reasons why we do and don't do what we do and don't do. And when you uncover that, when you explore that, when you go deep, when you get hyper conscious, you now are in control of it. Now, when that gets poked, you can go wait, wait, wait. Just because I don't see that old friend when they come into town, that doesn't mean that I'm a dick and useless and undeserving of life. Okay, I'm going to choose differently now. And now she's going to transform her whole world because she knows what's driving.

Speaker 2:

One of the reasons I can influence people is because I know what's driving beneath the surface. Our deepest pains and our deepest purposes are really what's driving and if you can understand that and you can get in there under the hood of the car, so to speak, you can go any direction you want. So again, if you want help with any of that. This is what I'll end with. If you want help with any of that, I can help you. I would be happy to. I love that. I was on with my therapist earlier. We went deep and I'm still figuring out how I work and why I work that way, and that's why I didn't say oh, your purpose is you know this, this, this, this and this and this is your algorithm on how you get it. That was the old me that didn't understand. The new me realizes that this is a lifelong journey. You're never going to really find the one answer. You're going to get closer and closer and closer and closer, while never really getting there, and that's the best it'll ever get.

Speaker 1:

Have you on today, deep, deep, but necessary, but necessary. I've been asked what's your, how do you find your purpose? So many times. It's like it's not that easy. It doesn't work that way, I know. If I had that answer, I probably I don't know I'd be in a different position in life. I'm sure some sort of like book or something. What's the?

Speaker 2:

answer to life's question.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so I don't know. Let me put it in my book. So, last thing, before we go, somebody asked me today how do you? I get asked a lot of questions on podcasts? What do you see the future being like in terms of positive consciousness? And I said empathy. I think people are gonna be more empathetic because now at least we're able to see more people's experiences through, let's just say, digital media, and have empathy for yourself. If you don't know what your purpose is yet, that's okay, I don't think you get to choose.

Speaker 1:

I don't think you get to choose when you find it out it's not. I don't think it's like yeah, I don't think it's like that. It's not. Oh, you know what I think I'm gonna get. I'll find my purpose this year. I don't know, it might not even happen yet. Maybe the thing that reveals it hasn't even happened yet. For me, it never connected until I was on Alan's YouTube channel. It wasn't a podcast YouTube channel.

Speaker 2:

And even then, kev, you don't find it, and that's it.

Speaker 1:

No, no, no.

Speaker 2:

It's a spectrum. It's zero to 10. You're closer to understanding your purpose now than you've ever been, but not as close as you're gonna be.

Speaker 1:

Well, even right now you and I are going through. So I'm not gonna be CFO anymore, I'm not gonna be the financial guy in the company. I'm gonna be more into sales. That's more my purpose anyway. My purpose isn't. It's not who I am. Your purpose is who you are and how you want to show up as you. Really. I was at Jiu Jitsu today and it's like that's what I'm supposed to be, that guy I just am. I don't know how to explain it. I'm supposed to be. It's not even supposed to be.

Speaker 2:

It's you are that guy, I am that guy. And this is expressing that through this vehicle, whatever it is. So that's one of the vehicles to express who you really are. Yeah, yeah, and CFO wasn't, and that's okay. And at one point you didn't think sales was either. So you know, you don't know until you. You don't know until you know.

Speaker 1:

You don't know until you admit you don't know. And then you start to understand. You know more than you thought you did.

Speaker 2:

And eventually you know more than you did. And then eventually you're like crap, I know nothing again. And then it goes round and round, all right we get a hop.

Speaker 1:

If you have not joined our private Facebook group Next Level Nation yet, please do again. A safe community where you can grow, that is it at the end of the day. I think that's what we're all looking for. We're all looking for a place where we belong, where we fit in, where we can grow, where we can evolve, where we can contribute. Next Level Nation is that place. Tomorrow, for episode number 1,512, this was a quote, a version of a quote that Laurie Harder said on this podcast, episode 34, I believe consistent 70% days are better than spotty 100% days. You hear us talk about consistency often. We don't often talk about consistency even if you're not improving at the rate you want to. I mean, I guess we do, but we're gonna talk about that more tomorrow. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, we're grateful for each and every one of you and NLU. We do not have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Speaker 2:

Keep searching and living in your purpose. Next Level Nation.

Speaker 1:

Stronger. It was a good one man.

Speaker 2:

It was a good one.

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host