Next Level University

#1522 - Finding More Fulfillment In Your Life

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros discuss the complexities of living a life of joy, and how fulfillment can be about more than just happiness. Understanding the difference between pleasure and fulfillment is crucial, as pleasure doesn't always lead to a meaningful life. While pleasure provides immediate satisfaction, fulfillment is about more profound, lasting contentment connected to our purpose and values. A relationship based on fulfillment often demands more - growth, vulnerability, and investment - but also brings so much more reward. It's not about chasing materialistic success or money. Instead, it's about seeking more profound, more meaningful pursuits.

Links mentioned:
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Blog: #13 - How to Create, Cultivate, and Sustain a Happy Life - https://bit.ly/3SFwWQf 

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Show notes:
[2:03] What is fulfillment?
[6:55] The Triad of Happiness
[13:00] The happiness formula
[18:42] Amanda shares how Alan made her feel valued and supported during their initial consultation call and how she appreciates his holistic approach
[19:25] Kevin's analogy
[24:15] Unfulfilling relationships
[30:00] Easy isn't meaningful
[36:06] Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Speaker 1

Next level nation . Welcome back to another episode of next level university , where we help you level up your life , your love , your health and your wealth . We hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode . It was episode number 1521 . Why a lot of us end up feeling stuck today for episode number 1522 finding more fulfillment in your life ?

Speaker 1

I remember Alan and I were in his mother's basement and we had a whiteboard down there . This was our second ever podcast studio probably 2018 , maybe 2019 and we were talking about fulfillment and I remember I didn't know what that was , I didn't know how to spell the word and I had no clue where to even go . If you said what is fulfillment , I probably would have said it's just happiness , probably just a different version of happiness , and we've talked about it many times in this podcast and I've talked about it many times another podcast and I've experienced it and I felt it and I've lived it and I think when we're anytime we're talking about fulfillment , I would argue and this will be an open conversation , obviously I would argue that fulfillment is something of meaning , something that matters to you , something that is deeper than Layer one . So I have used the analogy many times . Before my car , I have a BMW . When I get in it , I do feel happiness , I feel appreciation , I feel gratitude , I feel some . I feel many different emotions , but the car does not fulfill me . It's not deeper than that , it's not . Yeah , if I said the journey of getting the car was super fulfilling , yes , but there's so much more meaning and so much more purpose .

Speaker 1

Going back to what we talked about , I think , last week , then just the car , volunteering , volunteering , is something that for many of us is very , very fulfilling Because it's not surface level , there's something that it's . It's deeply meaningful . It's meaningful for you to say you know what ? I want to Impact this in this way . I don't want to say impact people less fortunate , because you can volunteer for many different things , but you're doing something that is meaningful , that's greater than you , it's deeper than you , it's more important than you . I think that's really what fulfillment is . It's something that matters in a meaningful way , not a surface level Activity . It's a meaningful pursuit or a meaningful , I guess a meaningful activity , I don't think sitting on . So Alan , in a previous episode , said for his birthday he wanted to watch three Lord of the Rings back to back . He said gonna be about a 12 hour day . Excuse me , sir . Yeah , I'm sorry . Yeah , wasn't the .

Speaker 2

Lord of the Rings , oh , hold on the hobbit the hob .

Speaker 1

I apologize , that's my bad never will happen again .

Speaker 2

Will not happen very similar , man same director . Yes , all good .

Speaker 1

Mr Peter Jackson , I believe , is that is that him ? Yes , I know stuff too , thank you . I'm gonna argue that that's not gonna fulfill you , but it might fulfill you more than it might fulfill someone else , because you have a special connection to the movies . But I would argue that it's going to make you happier . Then it does fulfill you . Mm-hmm Are you what are your thoughts around that ?

Speaker 2

Because I'm doing , I'm experiencing them with Emilia and I know that she loves them too and we are sharing that day together of quality time with quality food , with each other and other wonderful things together and Also with our pets . It'll be more meaningful , but , yes , it's not nearly as meaningful as our missions , our Dreams , that kind of thing . Yeah , it's , it's , it's more of a pleasure filled day than it is meaning , although , honestly , as far as pleasure filled days , I think that's one of the things I've tried to design well , which is , how do I create Fulfillment in the simple , pleasurable things that I do love ? Because I've tried really hard not to live a Pleasure driven life which I'll get into , but try to live a fulfilling life , and I think that , as far as days off the rails go , I would say this is probably on the higher end of meaningful .

Speaker 1

I Was talking to somebody the other day about Live events and I said really for live events , we do next level live and we have next level hope foundation . So those are kind of the two live events in person that we put on , and next level hope foundation isn't really a live event . It's not like we're Doing a speech or anything it's . It's not a hard day but it's deeply meaningful .

Speaker 1

Oh yeah , because we're doing something far greater than us . It's it's a charity initiative for children of single parents . But I was talking about next level , live , which is our live event we do every March and I said it is one of the worst days . I hate it . I Hate it so much . It's so stressful the week leading up to it , the night before I don't sleep , but it is also one of the most fulfilling things ever , when we get done so lat .

Speaker 1

This year , this past one , we did . We rented a really nice Airbnb on a lake and the team came in and we got . There's a place in Worcester called Wicked Wings and we got Wicked Wings and we went back to the Airbnb and I was super fulfilled . In the shadow of Accomplishment is what I would say . It was in the shadow of accomplishing something . That just wasn't a check the box thing . It was an experiential thing . It was all of the things that we've done to get us to this place that have led up to this . In connection to what has happened today , and I I've been of the mind that fulfillment and happiness do not even have to coexist For one , two . They don't have to coexist . One can exist by itself .

Speaker 2

Let me , let me riff off this for a minute , because this is something that I've .

Speaker 2

I just finished a blog on this and I will actually put the link in the show notes for anyone who's curious about going deeper . But I Wrote a blog and it's called how to create , cultivate and sustain a happy life , and it's built on a framework . It's called the triad of happiness , and that triad is consistent of three different things , and the three things that Kevin's trying to articulate here are joy , pleasure and fulfillment . So if you want most people say I want to be happy you ask a parent what do you want for your child ? I want my child to be happy , and that's the goal in life . I often talk about the John Lennon story . I don't know if it's true or not , but essentially he had an assignment when he was a kid , apparently , that the teacher said who do you want to be when you grow up ? And he said happy . And they said you don't understand the assignment because they were obviously talking about his career , and he said you don't understand life .

Speaker 2

What I think is challenging and and Bother some , quite frankly is that we were never taught about fulfillment . We're taught about the pursuit of happiness . Everyone uses the word happy , but no one really knows how to create it , sustain it , cultivate it , design it . And I've spent my entire life For lack of better phrasing looking around me going . I don't see a lot of happy people and it I'm gonna speak very directly . But I do look around and get scared . There's not that many people who really are living rich , dynamic , positive , growth , oriented , contributing lives of deep fulfillment , and I know why . I know why because we weren't taught about fulfillment . We don't know what it is . We don't know how to design meaningful lives . It's not like we went to school and learned , imagine a course on how to design a meaningful life . We didn't have courses on health , wealth , love , relationships , communication , vulnerability , wholeheartedness . We didn't have , we don't have books or courses on that stuff . That's actually why I know you exist and so , growing up , I grew up in a very , I would say , an environment that was deeply unfulfilled .

Speaker 2

I saw marriages that were awful . I saw Parents who resented their children . I Saw people going to jobs they hated to afford things they had to take care of . I saw drug abuse , alcohol abuse . Now , not all of my childhood was bad . So I want to make it clear I had some really bright spots in there . Okay , I'm gonna make that clear , but I'm not gonna sugarcoat it either . I saw miserable human beings . I mean just wildly unhappy people and Deeply unfulfilled I should say . They weren't living rich , dynamic , positive , meaningful lives . They just weren't . And I know that that's common and I know that at the end of the day , we're all on a spectrum .

Speaker 2

On the far low end , you have people that have no meaning in their life and it's mostly pleasure centered , and they're probably feel like they don't matter and they feel insignificant and they feel depressed , and I understand that and there's a lot of causes of that . And On that side I'll call that side not nihilism , and I've been there , okay . Nihilism is hopelessness . Nihilism is I don't know if my future is brighter than my past . Nihilism is how do I get out of here ? How do I change this ? What do I do ? I don't feel in control of my own life . I don't feel in control of my own future . I don't feel like I can . I don't know if I'm gonna ever be in a relationship again . Am I gonna be alone forever ? Nihilism , so we'll call that zero .

Speaker 2

Ten is I Am deeply fulfilled . I enjoy my day-to-day life . I'm super grateful for who I've become . I'm super , super grateful for who I'm around , I'm super grateful for the work that I want to do in the world . And the work that I'm doing I'm passionate about . It's Purposeful and meaning-driven and I make a good profit and my quality of life is exactly what I've always wanted . Now no one's all the way on zero and no one's all the way on ten , and it fluctuates day to day , week to week , month to month , year to year , but hopefully the trend line is up , hopefully over time .

Speaker 2

I remember people used to say this to me . They used to tell me these are the best years your life . When I was in high school , I heard that all the time . And and I was . I worked at a golf course , I was a car kid in a bus boy and my life sucked . I hated my life so bad and Girls overlooked me . Guys treated me like crap . No one gave me any respect . I was prepubescent , short , unattractive . You know I feel like I put in a lot of work to be smarter , but no one cares if you're smart for whatever reason , at least when you're that young and and I just felt so overlooked and so miserable and so insignificant . My stepdad left and it was just . I didn't know how I was gonna go to college , I didn't , couldn't afford anything . I only made seven dollars an hour , and you know , in the US that's not a lot because the US price of living is insane , so especially in Massachusetts . And so at the end of the day , I just was so unhappy and so unfulfilled , but I didn't understand why I didn't get it . Now I understand .

Speaker 2

People used to say these are the best years of your life , and I used to say , oh my god , I hope not . Oh my god , I hope not . If that's true , then screw this , I don't want to do this . And I didn't believe them . I said no way , I'm not gonna , no way these . And , by the way , they think these are the best years of your life because their life got worse .

Speaker 2

The people who were saying that were miserable , broke , alcoholics , divorced , unhappy people , golfing to escape Not all of them , but a lot of them , quite frankly . And so I decided you know what ? No , I will not tolerate this . I will not end up like these people . So I said I'm gonna figure out the formula to not end up old and miserable like everybody else . Now , obviously that was my young , arrogant version of please don't let my life end up this way . But at the end of the day now I'm 35 , coming up on 35 on November 17th , which is this week , and I'm telling you I've got the formula pretty dialed in , I've got it , I wrote a blog about it I'm telling you fulfillment is the way and the happiness formula is this number one joy , number two , pleasure , and number three , fulfillment .

Speaker 2

And the third one , in my opinion , is what you should optimize for . It's what you should focus on , because joy and pleasure will happen along the way , and so I'll explain each really quick , and then I promise , I'll let Kevin talk . Joy is when you're enjoying the present moment . So , kevin and I last episode , if you listen to it , 1521 , we enjoyed the hell out of that we were laughing , we were having fun , we were talking about different stuff , we enjoyed that .

Speaker 2

Okay , so we were in the present moment , enjoying the present moment . That's joy , number one . Number two is pleasure . I'm not sure we were having a ton of pleasure , maybe a little bit because we were laughing , but at the end of the day , this is challenging work . So I'm hungry , I haven't eaten . I use pleasure , I use donuts . I love donuts , huge fan .

Speaker 2

I think anyone who doesn't love donuts is probably lying . I'm kidding , but the point is is I love them but they're not going to fulfill me , and they're not . They're enjoyable and they're pleasurable , but they're not gonna . And you're going to get a sugar high and a dopamine hit , but they're not going to fulfill your life . You're not going to eat a bunch of donuts and then feel like , oh , I have such a meaningful life . That's not really how donuts work . So when you're late and Kevin's upset about it , bring him some . A half does eat donuts . That solves it All , right .

Speaker 2

Number three is fulfillment , and fulfillment is meaning . Fulfillment is purpose . Fulfillment is service to something greater than myself . Fulfillment is the soul's recognition of alignment with its highest calling . It's about two words potential and contribution , maximizing your own unique potential . And , number two , using that potential to contribute in a meaningful way , whether it's volunteering or not . And so , in my opinion , if you want to live a happy life , it's . It's pretty complex and that's why most people aren't happy because we weren't taught how to be happy . We were taught to pursue happiness , but we weren't taught how to create it . We we didn't have a formula . We didn't have a map of roadmap or a GPS . We were just okay , go wing it , good luck . You know , engineers make money . Be an engineer . That was what I went off of , but I didn't have a formula . So hopefully this will help everybody .

Speaker 1

I remember one of the hardest years , just in terms of pure output , is when I was working the job I was working .

Speaker 1

That required a ton of travel and I was living with Matt at the time and we were renovating his rental property , his income property , and I would be on the road Monday to Friday , sunday to Friday usually , and then Saturday and Sunday I would help him work on the apartment Sometimes . Sometimes I remember I drove back from New Jersey . I got home at maybe nine o'clock at night and they were still working , so I just worked for a little bit , even though I'd been up for however many hours working and as much as that sucked , there was fulfillment in that because I knew that was something we were going to be looking back on in the future and saying remember those times . I think there is some fulfillment in constructive nostalgia . Now there are some nostalgic moments I've had in my past that are not constructive , looking back and saying , oh , I remember . I remember we used to get a pizza and we'd get so high I didn't remember what day it was Not necessarily fulfilling , not necessarily constructive , not necessarily productive .

Speaker 1

Mostly focused on pleasure on that one , mostly focused on pleasure . But there are times where I look back whether it's Alan and I doing some of the hardest yards of this journey where I think back and say that sucked , but the thing that I was feeling , the pride in what we were creating , was probably fulfillment . I just didn't know it , or I just wasn't ready to recognize it because I felt like I was suffering so much . I think it's almost you're doing something that you know you're going to be proud of . I think that's a really good way to think of . For me , at least , that tends to . Is it rain true or ring true ?

Speaker 1

I think ring , I'm not sure it tends to be true for me , because I'll have a day where I look at my calendar and I say there's no way I'm going to be able to do this , there's no way . Back to back to back to back to back to back to back . And somewhere in the middle of the day I either have a super boost of energy and I say I'm so grateful I get to meet that person . That was awesome , or it'll just be I don't know if I have another three of these in me or I'll see Tara and when we're walking through the house and we just bump into each other and I'll say I know there's only another six hours to go , it'll be like one o'clock in the afternoon . It's like , oh , six hours to go , we're halfway home .

Speaker 1

When I get to the end of the day , I'm always super fulfilled . Always there's that moment of today was hard and it was heavy and it was a lot and it was overwhelming and I'm so tired and I'm exhausted and I'm hungry . But I really feel like I move the needle on the mission . Not dollars , not clients , not none of that . The mission . I feel like I move the needle on the purpose . I feel like I move the needle on the impact . I feel like I move the needle on the goal , the giant goal , not the small goals that we create to get to the giant goal . That's really what I think it is . I think it is making progress in something that you know you never will accomplish . That's the best way for me . Again , I think Everybody feels it different in different ways , or maybe recognizes , recognizes it in different ways . That's what it feels like to me . It's , I know I'll be proud of myself .

Speaker 2

I'll know , I know I'll be great .

Speaker 1

There was a day where Tara and I Sunday , we were both tired and we said what are we gonna do ? We should really go for a walk . We said we're gonna go for a walk , we should get out in nature . It's gonna be winter soon and neither of us wanted to do it . I said we don't have to do it . If we decide we don't want to do it , then we won't do it . But I do think a good piece of awareness to have is we will be more fulfilled if we do this . Nice , we will probably be happier and what we will be feeling more joy and pleasure , most likely if we just sit here and watch Netflix . We will be more fulfilled if we do the thing that we know will be , will be grateful for didn't do it , stayed on Sistine inside and didn't do it . But in order to do better , you must first know better and I felt like I knew better .

Speaker 2

I have a Gerianne wouldn't mind me sharing this and a shout out for Jerry in this a lot of show show notes for Jerry in . She's crushing it . She said I always knew I was more than just a mom and she didn't want that to sound bad because she doesn't mean it a negative . She loves being a mom , loves it , crushes it so good . What I think she's really saying underneath that is I want to do all I can with all I have , and I know I have more to give . I know I can put more out on the court .

Speaker 2

I think fulfillment comes From the growth journey , the growth and contribution journey . I Was not . I was achieving a lot before 26 In corporate . I achieved a lot , made a lot of money , but I wasn't fulfilled . And then I went from making a ton of money and not fulfilled , achieving a lot to achieving almost nothing , making no money , and actually was really fulfilled . And now I'm super grateful that we're actually More holistic in that , because neither one of those is sustainable .

Speaker 2

Achieving nothing with fulfillment not super sustainable in today's economy . And then achieving a ton without fulfillment also not super sustainable , because you're gonna burn yourself to the ground , at least on the soul level . And so I Think that the practical advice I can give our listeners when it comes to fulfillment is try to aim at something . Aim at a worthy cause . Aim at a worthy cause that's aligned with the way you want to see the world the better world that you maybe . Maybe the better world is people have Access to food . Maybe the better . Better world is pets aren't treated as poorly . Maybe the better world is More healthy vegan choices . I had one client who started a vegan restaurant . It was called no bones it's the name of it and Right smart .

Speaker 2

It's good , good , good title , good name of a company . But whatever it is , whatever that mission is , to Kevin's point doesn't have to be mission like heavy , heavy change the whole world . It can be change your community , it can be change your Family's future , but it has to be something where you aim at it and it forces you to grow and contribute beyond yourself . I really do think that fulfillment is a byproduct of that and then you'll have some joy and some pleasure along the way . For sure I do think you'll have less pleasure than if you are focused on pleasure . But when I was drinking a lot , partying , losing myself , doing drugs , those things that I used to Do , that were very pleasurable and that's the problem . They are pleasurable . That's what makes them so dangerous . If they weren't pleasurable , they wouldn't be dangerous . Okay , they're super pleasurable , but I was so unfulfilled .

Speaker 2

I Told that story about being in the parking lot wanting to celebrate my girlfriend , but I couldn't go in without drinking some nips in the car After I parked , by the way , after I parked , and then going into Gillians and pretending to be happy . That was pleasure . I had fun and we played games and we played ping-pong and we played billiards and I was drunk and I had a blast and it was pleasure . But after that , you better believe , at that night I was like , oh , who am I and what am I doing ? And I was unfulfilled . And so if you design your life around fulfillment , you'll end up with some pleasure and some joy along the way . I'll be at less Versus . If you focus on pleasure , you're in a lot of trouble , and that is my truth . My truth is , you're in trouble if pleasure is the focus , because there's a lot of really pleasurable things that are really really bad for us . I have .

Speaker 1

We were walking out of the , the podcast studio back in the day and I was like I love Weedon Porn , love them . That's why I can't . I gotta take it easy . I love them . They're awesome , they're the best . That's why , that's why you get hooked on stuff , that's why they're dangerous , because it's the best . But yeah , it's , it's pleasure , it's all pleasure . Last thing we , we go . Uh , I wanted to share this . I wanted to ask if you don't mind sharing this .

Speaker 2

So , kev , you've shared on this podcast many times the situation ship that you were in , oh boy . I think that's a really good analogy , if you're willing , because that was .

Speaker 2

Pleasurable but not as meaningful . Yeah , and now you have a marriage that's meaningful and and I think that's a great analogy and and I think that's a great analogy because I think we've all been there I certainly have where I had pleasure but not meaning , because I didn't want to be with this person long term . This wasn't my person . Versus now , with emilia , everything's so meaningful , it's still pleasurable too , but that's not the , that's not the goal , that's not the purpose , that's not the focus , you know .

Speaker 1

I said that I actually said this recently to turn it . I didn't . I don't give a lot of details . Obviously depends . It depends on the level of the conversation . But yeah , so there was a time where , again , the podcast was not successful . We were just starting to get pretty high level guests , so things were trending upward , not making almost any money with the podcast and I was just so .

Speaker 1

I was super lonely , super lonely , thinking I was never gonna meet someone . I think I was gonna be single forever . Nobody was gonna get me and I don't know if I was trying to date at the time . But somebody messaged me . Somebody messaged me on Facebook and said something along the lines of hey , I saw your , your friends with one of my friends or somebody shared something and I think you're handsome . I was like oh , whoa , okay , what's happening here ? And I ended up hanging out with this person and then we what I would consider dated , but I I never . I wasn't in it for the long run . I didn't . I wasn't dating this person because I knew or thought it was gonna be a deep , meaningful relationship , which you were clear about . I was very clear about it , yeah , I was very clear about it .

Speaker 1

Now , this other person didn't necessarily again , whatever this , this other person was trying to Get me over that and say , well , we'll work it out , it's gonna be fine . And it was mostly just the friends with benefits situation is what it became . And and then I tried to break it off and said , hey , that you're gonna get hurt , you're gonna get hurt and I don't want to . I will feel so guilty . And this person said , no , I want to keep hanging out . And I was like , well , I'm getting physical needs met so fine , let's do that , let's just do that . But I felt terrible the whole time . I remember telling you I was like this , ain't it ?

Speaker 2

Yeah , I'm fulfilling .

Speaker 1

Yeah , I feel guilty and I feel wrong and it's , it's weird and I know there's an end date and I don't know .

Speaker 1

I don't know what's gonna happen . So it got to the point eventually where I told Alan I think we had this conversation I said , yeah , I gotta end this . I can't . This person's gonna get hurt , I'm gonna break their heart . I don't , this isn't what I want . This isn't serving me . So I ended up quote-unquote breaking it off with that person and they were not happy with me . But I told Tara in this the other day and said one of the things I'm most grateful for about you is you have such high standards for me .

Speaker 1

With certain in certain Relationships and situationships in the past , I could just show up . I don't have to get better . I didn't have to put in work , I didn't have to be intentional , I didn't have to be the best man I can be , and that wasn't required with Tara and I do . She doesn't care about the podcast success . She doesn't care about how many clients we have or how much money we're making . She's supportive and grateful and and Amazing around that . But that's not why she's with me . She's not with me .

Speaker 1

For those reasons , my relationship with her is so much more fulfilling because it requires so much more growth and it requires . Honestly , it requires so much more vulnerability . I'm so invested in this , for this is my wife . I'm so invested in this relationship . That's fulfilling too . It's not surface level , it's meaningful . There's so much necessity , there's so much skin in the game . It's not just a high school fling and the person I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with that . That is the difference between pleasure Again , I was big into the friends with benefits scenario .

Speaker 1

For a while that was pure pleasure , empty , very empty , but pleasure and joy in the moment , but no fulfillment . And now I have a relationship where look , sometimes there's days where it's not pleasurable , it's hard . We're doing real life together and paying bills together and figuring out all that stuff together and figuring out my traumas and my triggers and my family stuff , and in hers as well . So there's it's not always pleasure . It's not always pleasure , but there is fulfillment in everything that we do because we're doing it together and it's deeply meaningful and it matters more than anything .

Speaker 1

I think that's a really good way to think of it . A Marriage is like a high wire act , like we're walking on the high wire at all times , like we are heavily invested . There is great risk , but there's also great reward where a situation chip might be . You know , maybe you're walking , you're getting wasted and walking on the beach Feels really good and the beach and the waves and you're drunk and everything's warm and the the wind . But when you wake up the next day you're like what , where am I and what has happened ?

Speaker 2

and what is my head hurt so bad ? How much did I ?

Speaker 1

drink last night . That's my monologue .

Speaker 2

So true , best articulation of pleasure versus fulfillment .

Speaker 2

I might have ever heard Appreciate that real good real , real good and the only thing that I would pull out of that before we go , is Notice how one of them requires a lot of responsibility and a lot of growth and a lot of challenge , and the other one isn't challenging . It's not . It's not challenging , it's just easy . And I have been saying it for a long time . My mom , growing up , she used to say my grandma had it so easy , and she would say it as if my arms are going off . She would say it as if that was a good thing . And I remember thinking of myself I don't want easy . Easy isn't meaningful . That is one of the weird dualities of life . I mean in the moment Don't get me wrong we want things to be easier . I , you know , take this with a grand assault and it's a duality . Okay , I don't want my life to be extra hard for no reason , but the point is I don't want an easy life .

Speaker 2

My grandma grew up in a rich family . She had butlers and maids and my grandfather he hit both his parents , passed away when he would . By the time , the time he was 15 , he fought in World War one and he put himself through college and he worked A great work , ethic , actually went to WPI , my alma mater and night school , and she never worked . She never had to work , I think . I think she worked a total of one year her entire life , and my grandma was a sweetheart . So I'm not trying to take anything from that . But my point is and Obviously she raised kids , so I know that was challenging . So take all this with a grand assault . But my point is is I don't want an easy , super easy , non-meaningful , pleasurable life . I Want something that Challenges me to grow , challenges me to become more , challenges me to figure it out , challenges me to innovate , challenges me to Stretch more , become more , adapt more , evolve more , learn more , grow more , give more , contribute more . There's I'm so much more than I used to be , but I'm not as much as I'm gonna be , and I think that there's something in you that wants that too .

Speaker 2

Bob Proctor always said this RIP . He said the soul is always for expansion . How tall will the tree grow ? As tall as it can Human beings , for whatever reason , our egos , let us stay stuck . I've been stuck , stopped . Growing didn't contribute .

Speaker 2

Drinking alcohol , you name it , partying . It was so pleasurable , so pleasurable like to a amazing extent . I went to LA once and we just partied and it was so much fun and I met a lot of cool people , which actually was meaningful , but I also . It was super , super empty . Some of it was really really empty and honestly I regret some of it and I'm grateful nothing bad happened , because we were reckless at times and now I .

Speaker 2

My life can be boring sometimes and sometimes you know me going off the rails . Now is us going to see the marvels on Saturday ? You know that was . It was awesome , oh my god . I got a full cow monster . We got a bunch of food and Swedish fish was awesome , but the point is is that it was meaningful and fulfilling . That was actually really pleasurable too . Swedish fish are not good for you , but it was meaningful because I was with Emilia and so you don't have to never have pleasure . That's not what I'm saying . What I'm saying is don't design your world around it , because that's a quick way to end up wildly unfulfilled and that's a losing long-term game , even though it is a short-term awesome .

Speaker 1

Have you won today ?

Speaker 2

Fulfillment Got to know that's where it's going to go .

Speaker 1

Yeah , yeah , it's always . It's always fun to talk about . Last thing before we go this will be my next love and nugget . There's an old saying that money doesn't buy happiness , but everybody wants to find out for themselves . Again , that's a layer one awareness . Yes , money is money is really good for opportunity and it buys you opportunity and it buys you your time back and security , safety , a roof over your head . I think pleasure is similar , where everybody wants a super pleasurable life until you have a very pleasurable life and you realize you always feel empty and then when you find fulfillment , that's a suggestion that that may be a direction to move in Next Level Nation .

Speaker 1

If you have not joined our private Facebook group , next Level Nation yet , please do . I would argue . Maybe one of the most fulfilled groups of people ever . That's what I would argue . Everybody in there is focused on growth , contribution , doing something greater , larger , more expansive than themselves . They are contributing to the world , trying to get better . If that's you , please join . We would love to have you . The link will be in the show notes , as always .

Speaker 2

I have spent my life studying people and I can say this without a shadow of a doubt Next Level Nation is the most inclusive , kind and supportive and respectful community that I've ever personally seen . That I do believe it's genuinely the truth . I couldn't say it if it wasn't . I'm on this really big kick of I just want to be accurate in everything that I say . It's really challenging because obviously I'm not all knowing , but when Kevin was saying that , I do believe that Next Level Nation is the warmest , kindest , most supportive and , most importantly , most respectful inclusive group of people , so much , in fact , that anything that you say needs to be said with empathy . For a lot of walks of life . That has been a challenge for me at times , given where I grew up , but it's awesome and it's making us all better , so that's really good .

Speaker 2

Also , this whole episode is about fulfillment . I talked about putting the blog in the show notes . I just did a blog Again . It's called how to Create , cultivate and Sustain a Happy Life and it's built on this exact framework of joy , pleasure and fulfillment . So if you want to dig deeper into that , check that out . The link will be in the show notes , keep in mind I have not done the final edits , so if there's spelling errors , that is to be expected .

Speaker 1

Tomorrow for episode number 1523, . You are so much more than the sum of all your failures Failures isn't quotes , because , as you know , failures are often mistakes that become lessons , not necessarily failures , quote unquote . So we're going to talk about that tomorrow . As always , we love you , we appreciate you , grateful for each and every one of you and NLU . We are not fans , we have family . We will talk to you all tomorrow .

Speaker 2

Focus on fulfillment , next time on Nation .

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host