Next Level University

#1525 - Attracting More Positive People Into Your Life

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Envision a world where you're surrounded by people who resonate with your values, individuals who push you to grow and thrive. In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros talk about the transformative power of positive relationships and how authenticity and self-reflection are integral to personal growth. They discuss how having a tribe of like-minded individuals who share your passions can provide a sense of belonging and community. It can also offer a supportive environment where you can express your true self without fear of judgment.

Links mentioned:
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level Monthly Meetup - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups    

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Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com   

The best way to track your habits is here! Download the app: Optimal - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/optimal/   

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Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume

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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on LinkedIn, Instagram, or via email.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

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Show notes:
[1:44] The people around us
[7:54] Branding
[11:38] Amanda shares how Alan made her feel valued and supported during their initial consultation call, and how she appreciates his holistic approach
[12:27] Reject negative people
[18:20] Be around winners
[22:49] Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Speaker 1:

Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode. It was episode number 1524 the 5m's of next level motivation. Today, for episode number 1525, happy Sunday attracting more positive people into your life. We've mentioned many times on this podcast that one of the biggest issues we have as humans is the people around us. Some of us are I think I have to sneeze hold on, make it go away, gone. Some of us are blessed enough to have amazing people around us.

Speaker 1:

I would say I have a lot of amazing people around me right now and I have for the majority of my life.

Speaker 2:

Maybe I got lucky.

Speaker 1:

I don't know, maybe I was just in a good, I lived in a good place that had positive people, I don't know. But not everybody is that lucky, not everybody is that blessed, not everybody has that privilege. So if you want to find your people, if you want to feel like you fit in with a group of people who value what you value, you have to understand that it's most likely gonna take a work. It's most likely, just like anything else. If you, if you wanted to find someone who Valued or enjoyed or was passionate about a band that you were passionate about, where would you find those people? Maybe you join a Facebook group. Maybe you'd go to, you'd go to a concert. Maybe you would go to an autograph signing you would do, you would watch the.

Speaker 2:

Netflix documentary. You would do that type of stuff.

Speaker 1:

You'd follow them on social media If you were looking for people that valued what you value.

Speaker 2:

You'd have to go find out where those people hang out, and I think positive people are the same. That's part one. Part two of this is Alan.

Speaker 1:

I were talking about this before, if we Got lonely or if we were like hey, I really need to.

Speaker 2:

I want to focus more on growth. Who can I message that is super into self-improvement. We have so many people that we can message. But, that's because we are putting out positive Hopefully positive content every single day, and we built a Facebook group and we've been on so many other shows and we've had masterminds with people and Clients and coaches and all that stuff.

Speaker 2:

That's why it seems easy for us now. But for you it's probably gonna be the same thing, except if you're not gonna have to do it for as long If you were to post something positive every day, people who also want positivity in their lives are gonna see that. And then you say, oh, wow, maybe I'll get this person to follow and then from there you can try to facilitate some sort of friendship.

Speaker 2:

I think the reason most of the people are in our lives is because we have been the version of us that we have been the longest. So the version of us that we are today is the version of us We've been the longest and that's why we've attracted and sustained the relationships we have.

Speaker 1:

Our lives. We have to change a little bit externally if we want to attract more positive people into our lives.

Speaker 2:

And the last thing I would say on this before I kick it to Alan, one of my favorite quotes the best way to find your people is to be yourself.

Speaker 1:

So maybe right now you're thinking I'd really love To attract positive people into my life, but how would anyone know you're trying to attract positive?

Speaker 2:

people into your life. You don't change something externally. When I put pictures of my cats up.

Speaker 1:

I'm sure there's people out there who see the pictures of my cat so I can be friends with. Oh yeah, we love cats awesome when I put up jujitsu content.

Speaker 2:

There's a lot of people that I know that also do martial arts that message me.

Speaker 1:

That's not a coincidence You're just sending out a reminder of hey, I'm Kevin and I love doing this. If you love doing this too.

Speaker 2:

There's a pretty high likelihood We'll get along. This is the filters and magnets conversation, the law of attraction, the way that it works. And Every single time that you lean into who you really are, you are gonna filter out and repel people that Are not into those things and you're gonna attract people that are. I did an episode with kev Probably a month ago and I talked about. We talked about passions and how we're afraid to share our deepest passions because we're afraid to be judged for them. So, for example, if I say I'm a computer engineer and then I say something dumb about computers, all of a sudden it's. You're seen as a hypocrite. So we kind of hide our passions. I was building computers when I was 13. I love technology, I love computers, I know how these computers work, I've programmed them. But we don't share that part of us because we're afraid it's weird, people aren't gonna care. But if you don't share that part of you you're not gonna attract the other computer nerds.

Speaker 2:

I was up in Maine with one of our clients and with her family Amelia and I went and visited and they had this whole other section of their beautiful mansion for us and we met their children, and one of their sons is super techie and very, very math-oriented and very intelligent. And I said to my client at the time make sure he considers MIT and the reason I said that and she's like I know I know absolutely he doesn't want to go to MIT, he wants to go to XYZ. I said, in my honest opinion, him going to MIT would be really good for him because that's where his people are. When I went to WPI, which is a tech school, it was all the computer nerds, it was all the straight A math students it was.

Speaker 2:

You know, you go to high school and you think you're the best at math and you have all these math awards and then you go to college You're like, oh, all of the best people in every high school who are the best at math, come here, rotrow. It's a very different game and that's, you know, big fish, small pond, identity crisis, all that. But whatever your passions are, whether it's math or science, or whether it's movies or it's I don't know dirt biking, podcasting, personal growth personal growth isn't cool. I think that's changing. Mental health isn't cool. I think that's changing. I was talking to Emilia Bianca yesterday and they have a company called Evolve Ventures Society and they're both clinicians. Emilia is becoming one.

Speaker 2:

Bianca's already one, but Emilia is doing clinical work all the time and she's a coach and they study mental health constantly and I said every single thing you two do in your community should be, in my honest opinion, as your business coach around mental health. I want you two to brand yourselves as mental health. If you want positive, incredible, wonderful mental health, you go to Bianca and Emilia. That's what branding is. You don't go to Ferrari for a bicycle unless you want a nice one.

Speaker 2:

You don't go to me for relaxing that's okay, that's okay, I'm not that relaxed, pretty intense. You don't listen to NLU for fun. I think we're funny and I think we're fun a little bit, but I'm also biased. And you come to NLU for growth. You come to NLU for learning. You come to NLU to be driven towards goals and dreams. Not everything is for everyone. You go to the candy store for candy. You go to the sports store Dick's Sporting Goods for Sporting Wear. You go to Amazon for apparently everything. But my point is is that who are you and what are your passions, and the people that you surround yourself with are going to be a byproduct of how much you've leaned into those passions.

Speaker 2:

Last story shout out to Brandon and our team. Brandon is one of the longest team members. I think Christina is the longest, actually. I believe so. Everyone has an NLU birthday type of thing, but Brandon was December of 2020, I believe. So he's coming up on three years and all he did?

Speaker 2:

We messaged the community much smaller community back then. Much smaller podcast back then. It was actually called the Hyper Conscious podcast back then little cartoon avatar and we had a little intro video on our YouTube channel. If you go back and look, it's funny, it's like a cartoon, but anyways. So, brandon, we posted what was it called the Hyper Conscious, hyper Conscious Nation, hyper Conscious Nation yeah, throwback, hyper Conscious Nation. Back then for our long-term listeners, you might have been there and we just posted listen, we want to build a team. We need new team members. Who's interested? Brandon gets on the interview. It's Kevin and I in the studio and Brandon says, and I quote we say what can you bring to the table? What skills do you have? Trying to figure out where he fits right. Optimal person, optimal role, optimal responsibilities, optimal goals. That's the way I didn't know you. And he's like I don't really have any skills, but I'm willing to work really hard. And Kevin and I look at each other. There we go, yeah hell yeah, humility, humility, humility, humility.

Speaker 1:

Oh my God, humility and Brandon three years later in this community and this is the point of this episode Brandon has surrounded himself with such magnificent human beings.

Speaker 2:

I'm telling you right now he can't lose. You can't lose with those people. He's in Emilia's corner, he's in my corner, he's in your corner, he's in Jesse's corner, he's in Jerry's corner, he's in Amy's corner, he's in the whole NLU team's corner. And, by the way, nlu team, if I didn't mention your name, I apologize. Christina, all of you, I love you all so so much. Laura, ron, all of you. Okay, and if there's anyone I missed, please do not be offended. Seriously, I'm just. There's a lot of people and I'm overwhelmed. Here's my point you can't lose when you're around rich, dynamic, amazing, goal-oriented people. It is the cheat code. If you don't believe in yourself, all you have to do is be humble as hell and go at value and connect with people who believe in themselves. That's it. And Kev you mentioned at the beginning of this, you got lucky. I don't think you got lucky. I think you were allergic to ego. That's fair and I think you got away from all ego. I don't think it was luck.

Speaker 1:

I appreciate that. That was something I was going to add is it's just, if you want to attract more positive people into your life, you have to reject, for lack of better phrasing, the negative people Is. Imagine. Imagine you go out with three friends and you're meeting someone new, you meet someone new and that new person meets the person in your crew.

Speaker 1:

that's just super negative. They might not look twice. I've been thinking of that. I've been thinking of friendship as much of a relationship as an intimate relationship Like. Imagine making a new friend. Right now it's different because you have so much more understanding of who you are, so the barriers are higher than they've ever been because you know yourself at such a deep level.

Speaker 1:

So I would argue that it's just as important to distance yourself from negative people as it is to surround yourself with positive. Also, when you're talking about computers, you ever play roller coaster tycoon oh yeah man, definitely you cool with me.

Speaker 2:

Everybody was throwing up on my roller coasters. I've seen it Throwing up all over the place.

Speaker 1:

I'm not proud of it necessarily, but I used to just cut the track off and then just fly into the abyss.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

They just let me do it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and then people crash and they scream in Are?

Speaker 1:

you cool with me spending six to seven hours a day playing that for a little bit, a little bit of roller coaster tycoon yeah. I'll build next level university, the park. Oh my goodness, that's all that would.

Speaker 2:

We'll use that as a blueprint for the real one we build later. Yeah, yeah, that's next Harry Potter world.

Speaker 1:

That's the next thing. So ask yourself, on a scale of zero to 10, how positive are the people in my life? And just be very honest who's the most positive? Who is the person that you aspire to? Have more people around you like more people around you, like yes. Who is someone who you probably wouldn't be good if you had six other friends who had the same energy, the same positivity, made the same excuses, had the same view on the world and life as that person. And here's the thing it's going to take work.

Speaker 1:

I've been saying this to my podcast clients recently. I want you to imagine someone that you care about deeply just started a bakery and you go in and you try their food and it's amazing. Their biscuits, their croissants are amazing. Their muffins are amazing. Their cross iced croissant, they're iced lattes are amazing. And they say we have really good food, but I don't know nobody's coming. I don't know how do we get people here? You got to go out and introduce yourself to people and you have to let your products be known. You are the product in this analogy. You're.

Speaker 1:

If you listen to the show, I'm willing to bet that you're probably a pretty amazing person. We have an amazing community, because we're always talking about positivity and getting better and growth and trying to live without ego. The problem is, unless people know what you value, they don't really have anything to go off of, unless you are out there Spreading the message that you believe in. For lack of better phrasing, people really don't know. So Start posting positive stuff on social media. Join some positive groups next level nation is always one. There's a bunch of positive people in there and take a risk.

Speaker 1:

We are at a Time where you have to put in effort for a result. When we're kids, we go to school and we meet people, but it might not be like that anymore. Maybe when you go to work, you can meet people, but People might not be as open as they used to be to new friendships or whatever it may be. So you're probably gonna have to put in some time, some effort and, to Alan's point, you're gonna have to be humble with it because you might get Rejected for lack of better phrasing. But it has to be just like if you were going to find a new partner. I think it has to be similar. It has to be intentional Maybe not to the exact level, but you have to live intentionally when you're trying to bring positive people into your life.

Speaker 2:

What is your next? That's my next level nugget. Oh Jesus, yeah Huh sorry, yeah, my next level nugget. Yeah, I wrote this, wrote and write this. I was in Canada. I've been doing some graphic design work.

Speaker 1:

And I can't play roller coaster tycoon. You're here. I didn't say you couldn't play roller coaster tycoon.

Speaker 2:

You said that, but based on your goals, yeah, no, you can. All right so. I'm gonna put this graphic in the show notes.

Speaker 1:

It's very, very simple formula. Talked about it in the last episode.

Speaker 2:

I think there's a circle that looks kind of like a Pac-Man or Pac woman and there's a triangle that is injected into the Pac-Man little open mouth section and it's the analogy. Is an enzyme, so an enzyme catalyzes a chemical reaction. So new inputs Create new choices. New choices create new results. So whether it's Brandon, so I'll use Brandon as example.

Speaker 2:

Brandon came into a new environment with new people Kevin and I and Then we introduced him to a new environment with even more new people Christina, the team ex-wessy. Then Brandon started making new choices. I he used to drink, he quit drinking. He used to party, he quit partying. He I have a bunch more okay Started making new choices. Those new choices led to new results, and then those new results led him to even more incredible positive people. And so the new inputs is the cheat code, and so my next little nugget is I often do this on stage I say close your eyes and think of someone who is just unbelievable. Stop your ego for a second and just really think this person's gonna win.

Speaker 1:

They win at everything.

Speaker 2:

They're good at everything, they always find a way, they're hardworking, they're disciplined, they have direction, they're articulate, they want to flourish and they work hard to flourish and they get better and they grow and they believe in themselves and they believe in other people. Think of that person. First name only Dingo.

Speaker 1:

Dingo Jones.

Speaker 2:

Now open your eyes and ask yourself why aren't you spending more time with that person? Number one reason is they don't have a lot of time. Whoever that person was you thought of, has very little time, and here's why Everyone's trying to get that person's time. Unconsciously, we all know this. Everyone wants to be around winners. It's a really good thing. Go get around winners, go add value, go ask questions. I did this for years and years and years and years with tons of different mentors.

Speaker 2:

I had corporate mentors and I had mentors in college and I had teachers and I had all these mentors and I just asked questions and I was humble and I asked them how they got there and I asked them what they would do differently and I asked them what divorce was like and what it was like to be married and what it was like to have kids. And I just asked, asked, asked, asked. Now you got to be careful because, remember, not everyone is good at everything and so it would be cherry pick which questions you ask which people. But I'm going to use Brandon as an example again. Last thing, Next I'll nugget.

Speaker 2:

Brandon is in a position to win. He's humble, he's hard working and he's around a ton of people who are going to help him stay accountable. All he has to do is stay in the game and he's going to win and his life and his future will be so rich and so positive, and him and his girlfriend are crushing it. He just got engaged. If that's the life you want, you've got to get around next level people. There is no way around this, and so that's my next level nugget get around next level people and do whatever you've got to do with humility and integrity to stay.

Speaker 1:

If you are looking for positive people and you have not yet joined next level nation, that is a great first step. Even just joining a positive Facebook group, you never know. You never know what will happen. You might see a post that inspires you. Maybe somebody else posts and you say, wow, that person and I have similar core values. Based on what they said, I'm struggling with the same thing or I overcame something this person is struggling with. Conversation started, who knows? We live in an amazing time right now, or there's a lot of technology so you can be friends with someone across the world in a different time zone. It's all good. So please join the private Facebook group next level nation If you have not yet. Link will be, as always, in the show notes.

Speaker 2:

We have a monthly meetup coming up. This is a great way to meet new people. Monthly meetup coming up this is our 24th monthly meetup. So two years coming up on two years of monthly meetups Holy cow. Right, let me pull this up real quick. I should have had this up. Sorry for wasting everyone's time. It is on. I want to make sure you get the title right Monthly meetup number 24,. Three things holding you back from your version of success and your is capitalized because success looks different for everybody. Right, we're all climbing different mountains, metaphorically, and we all have different goals. We all have different core values. We all have different dreams, but there are principles that will help you and there's similar commonalities between what's holding us all back, one of them being fear XYZ, not believing in yourself, not being consistent.

Speaker 2:

So we're going to talk about the three things that are definitely holding you back from your own unique version of success, because Kevin and I coach a lot of people, whether they're podcasters or business owners or just people trying to get better peak performers. You see commonalities, you see, oh, okay, so everyone's family has something that's holding them back and also something really wonderful. It's kind of a theme, and so we're going to reveal some of those themes to some of you who might not have as many data sets from as many different people from all over the world. That's the one advantage we have is we meet so many different types of people from all these different walks of life and we're intricately involved in their life behind the scenes, not on social media so we kind of see okay, this is holding everybody back.

Speaker 1:

This is not a you problem.

Speaker 2:

This is a human challenge. This is not a you challenge. You're not alone, and the monthly meetups are going to help you understand that.

Speaker 1:

Tomorrow for episode number 1526,. What would you go back and change if you could? We will have an open conversation about that. Where will it go? I do not know. Tune in and find out tomorrow. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and an NLU. We don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Speaker 2:

Get around next level people.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for your explanation Roller coaster tycoons son.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host