Next Level University
Confidence, mindset, relationships, limiting beliefs, family, goals, consistency, self-worth, and success are at the core of hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros' heart-driven, no-nonsense approach to holistic self-improvement. This transformative, 7 day per week podcast is focused on helping dream chasers who have been struggling to achieve their goals and are seeking community, consistency and answers. If you've ever asked yourself "How do I get to the next level in my life", we're here for you!
Our goal at NLU is to help you uncover the habits to build unshakable confidence, cultivate a powerful mindset, nurture meaningful relationships, overcome limiting beliefs, create an amazing family life, set and achieve transformative goals, embrace consistency, recognize your self-worth, and ultimately create the fulfillment and success you desire. Let's level up your health, wealth and love!
Next Level University
#1562 - How Asking The Right Questions Will Change Your Life
Discover the magic of personal transformation with a simple twist to your thought process: crafting the right questions! In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros discuss how this dialogue is like a treasure trove for those seeking self-improvement as they unveil the questions that can catalyze profound self-awareness and lead to meaningful change. Whether you're grappling with insecurities or trying to pinpoint vulnerabilities, questioning is your ladder to climb out of any rut. The beauty of this conversation lies not only in the practical advice provided but also in the philosophy that underpins it: the belief that each of us can transform our lives through the simple yet profound act of asking the right questions. It's a lesson in self-empowerment and a testament to the idea that the potential for a life-changing answer lies within every question.
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Show notes:
(1:52) Thoughtful questioning
(4:30) The importance of self-awareness
(5:12) Questions vs. Answers
(6:54) Questions are the answers
(8:34) Kim thanks Kevin for going above and beyond in helping launch the Peaceful Productivity podcast.
(9:34) Poignant, thoughtful moment
(13:06) The power of your brain
(14:13) Tough yet therapeutic
(16:44) Outro
Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode, episode number 1561 two different types of vulnerability. Today for episode number 1562 how asking the right questions will change your life. That's a very heavy title and it's very suggestive, but if we were just to make a simple example of Somebody being locked let's just say somebody's locked in a room and they're thinking of the questions that they could ask themselves which questions do you think would be the most likely to help them get out of that room?
Speaker 1:How can I get out of this room? Would be one. What is something creative I can do that's outside of the box, to get out of this room? The questions that they're asking themselves are powerful questions. They're affirming questions. There are questions that are going to bring Awareness and opportunity, not questions that are going to force them to stay exactly where they are. And I'm sure you've seen Like asking yourself what can I learn from this? That type of like, those type of quotes on Instagram. I know that's a very small example and that's a very layer.
Speaker 1:One example, but if you think of All of the growth, or maybe the majority of the growth that you've had as a human being. It's probably come from either you asking yourself a question or somebody asking a question to you and then, with the new answer, you having a new opportunity and a new awareness to try something new. When I'm on podcasts and people say what changed for you in the beginning, I usually say I started asking myself why. I Just tried to ask myself why do I feel insecure around this person? Why do I feel confident around this person? Why do I feel insecure here? But I feel confident here.
Speaker 1:Asking yourself the challenging question or any question is step one. Sitting in the discomfort of not knowing the answer or exploring the answer is Number two. But asking the right questions can change your life because it's creating an opportunity for growth. Not everybody has super growth oriented people in their lives, so maybe we can't rely as much on the people around us to ask questions.
Speaker 1:But if you can, if you can sit with it, let's just say okay, let's do this. Let's say you read a book or, even better, let's say you hear yesterday's episode about two different types of vulnerability and after that episode you get to the end of the episode you say, wow, I wonder if I struggle with either of those types of vulnerability. You just asked yourself an amazing question. Then what you do with that answer dictates the progress you make in that category, the progress you make with that specific thing. And if you do that every day, and you're doing that every time you hear something, you read something, I am willing to bet you're gonna become very, very hyper aware, very, very self-aware, and You'll probably understand why you're making a lot of the decisions you're making or not making.
Speaker 2:Even that episode came out of a question you asked Terrin, why do you think vulnerability is so hard, 100%. So, to the last episode, if you did listen to yesterday's episode, can't talk the two different types of vulnerability. One of them is giving feedback. The other one is receiving feedback. In a nutshell, and if you ask which one of those do I struggle with more, there's a question For me, the answer is giving feedback. Okay, how could I practice that more Boom? And then you come up with an answer of well, be more aware of it and I could share more feedback with my clients today. And then you practice, and then you get better. And so I heard this once about questions versus answers.
Speaker 2:The person who asks great questions ends up with all the answers, and the reason the number one reason questions matter more than answers is because they guide you long term. Let me explain. If you come to me and we're on a coaching session and you're having this specific challenge, we can identify the root cause of that challenge and then create a solution. That's it, though, whereas if I give you a set of questions that help you solve the problem yourself. So, for example, kev comes to me and he says hey, man, I wanna lose 10 pounds in 10 weeks. And I say, okay, start with 2000 calories and work out every day for 45 minutes and we'll see where the scale moves and then we'll adjust accordingly. Okay, cool, that's great. But now he's relying on me to give him answers Instead of let me give him a set of questions. Whenever you wanna lose weight, kev, all you have to do is ask what kind of exercise should I be doing to maximize my caloric output? What is the amount of calories that I need to eat to stay in a caloric deficit? How often should I be weighing myself?
Speaker 2:No matter what the goal is, the questions are still relevant Versus every, and this is why podcasting can be so challenging, because Kevin and I are providing feedback and advice and perspective without knowing you. I mean, we kinda know you Heart driven individuals with low self-worth who are sick and tired of being held back by themselves and others. If you are sick and tired of being held back by yourself and others, you are a part of this community and that's part of why you are listening to this show. Most likely Now, I don't know for sure. I don't know you yet. I know many of our listeners, but not all of you. So I can't give you advice until we get on the phone and I start understanding you and your goals and your core values and the life that you want and what fulfills you and what you're passionate about and what your purpose is.
Speaker 2:But with questions they can guide you forever, regardless of what changes and who you are and where you're from. So what I would love to do, if you're a game Kev is oh boy, what are your favorite questions to ask Yourself, other people? I'll start with one, just because I wanna lead by example. I ask this question all the time to myself and to Emilia in particular, because Emilia has what I call a super growth mindset. She is so growth oriented that actually that becomes a bottleneck, and I'll explain what is the seemingly empowering belief that is actually limiting.
Speaker 2:In other words, what is the empowering, what is the disempowering belief that has disguised itself as empowering? That's one of my favorite questions in the world, because then you go, you know what, maybe I am a little overly abundant. You know, time isn't infinite. Maybe I need to be a little more practical. You know what? Maybe I can't achieve that in this short amount of time. It gets you thinking. But if you ask that to the wrong person, though, actually that question would be relevant to everyone, but the answer is going to be different for everyone, and that's why questions are so powerful.
Speaker 1:I often wake up cold sweat middle of the night and say am I still more Jack than Alan?
Speaker 2:And then I dress back up with a nice confident yes, no, I don't have.
Speaker 1:I don't have one am sessions like that. It's usually stress that keeps me up.
Speaker 1:I'm one of my favorite ones is what's really?
Speaker 1:What's really under this? That's one of my favorite questions. So if I say I'm going to go, I know I've been using the gym and you get to a lot, so I'll try to think of a different one. Well, no, I'm just going to use it because that's that's the one that's top of mind and it'll mean the most because it's real.
Speaker 1:My alarm clock went off today at five five thirty and I had a conversation with myself and I was like I'm not going to go to the gym. I don't. I don't want to go to the gym. I'm not motivated to go to the gym. I don't want to do it. What's under that is, my shoulder has been killing me and I feel like it's going to be a giant waste of time to go to the gym, end up disappointed and leave 15 minutes in. I just would rather not go. What's under that is frustration in the fear of more frustration, the fear that I'm going to go to the gym and it's going to be worse than it was last time. So I'll just wait for Jiu Jitsu tomorrow, where Jiu Jitsu goes, fine. What's actually under this? That has been something that has really, really it's been very beneficial.
Speaker 1:Tara and I were talking today in the shower. Something happened to our Roku so our Roku is like broken so we can't stream to the TV. I don't know Something's going on. I don't know what's happening. So it's not connected to the Wi-Fi, but the Wi-Fi is fine. I don't know. And I told her. I said I might be time for a new TV and get an 80 inch, something like that. You know, christmas, give myself a little present. And she said we don't need a new TV, kev, let's just get a new Roku. And I asked myself that question of what's the part of you that wants a new TV? Is that the part, is that like the child, inner child part of you that's been working so hard that you want some sort of present for yourself? Is that what it is when you could just buy a new Roku for 50 bucks? No, you don't have to get a 90 inch TV. Is it the part of you that wants to use this as a convenient opportunity to upgrade your life?
Speaker 2:Probably, or is it because Alan's been talking about his new projector? Got a projector, or you nearly bought Alan a projector.
Speaker 1:Maybe I want that, but yeah, that's been a really beneficial question to me. What's really under this? What's really under the fact that I want to do this or I don't want to do this? What would serve me the most is a question I try to ask pretty often why? Why is probably my favorite. That's probably my favorite question.
Speaker 1:And then the one I've shared many, many times what would the best version of you do? That's the one that, again, it probably sounds corny, maybe it doesn't, I don't know. I'm sure to some people it would. But anytime you have an opportunity to take the shortcut or the easy way out, just saying what would the best version of you do, that is. This is a great example. Last night we took the sheets off the bed we have separate, we have adjustable beds, so they're separate but they're together. And Taren was out for the night and I was putting sheets back on my bed and I said what would the best version of Kev would put? To take care of her bed too. Don't just do yours, you lazy ass. She would really.
Speaker 2:She would say very positive self-talk, yeah, very positive. She would really appreciate that. What would the best version?
Speaker 1:of you do, the best version of you would be very thoughtful. And it's only going to take you an extra couple minutes. It's not that big of a deal, just that type of small stuff. You throw something in the trash, you miss. Yeah, I know nobody knows it's behind the trash, but you do, and that's really where it starts. So that's one of my favorite questions.
Speaker 2:That's where self-esteem is built. Right there, man For sure Way to go. And if you want a great relationship, that's what it. Is right there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just put the sheets back on the bed. It's moments like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's moments like that 100%. I'll just give some of my favorites. What's the most valuable use of my time right now? That will come up with some good stuff. Your brain can come up with great answers. You got to trust your brain. You just got to ask the right question. Another one is this one was Kobe Bryant, I think he said. Remember when we had Mark Damn, I can't remember his name, he was the questions guy. We had him on the show. His name was Mark. He had like whiter hair, but he was a great dude.
Speaker 1:Oh Mark.
Speaker 2:Champagne, mark Champagne. There you go. Mark Champagne. He said Kobe Bryant had a question he always asked himself, which was where am I negotiating with my non-negotiables? Where am I negotiating with my non-negotiables? In other words, where are you cheating the system? Where are you cheating yourself? There's another good one Now, again, if you overly ask questions with negative answers.
Speaker 2:So, for example, you have to ask affirming and negative questions and again we can do another episode on this, because I know we gotta go, but Some questions are tough to ask because you don't want the answer. Okay, where am I screwing up right now? Where, just like Kevin said, what would the best version of Kevin do? I always ask what would my future self thank me for? You know why we don't ask that question? Because we don't wanna do it. What will my future self thank me for? Where am I screwing up right now? Well, I'm not writing enough. Well, I'm not doing enough mobility. Well, I'm not hydrating as well as I could. That's what coaching is. All coaching is is feedback. It's just hey, you say you want this goal. Okay, what am I doing? That's not in alignment with my goals right now? Where could I be a better partner to Emilia? What's really frustrating me these days, and why, and what can I do about it?
Speaker 2:So questions thinking is nothing more or less than asking and answering questions, and your brain comes up with great answers, but you have to have the courage to ask the tough questions. Last one, this one, will hit home. I did this at a relationship talks event last night. Who do I want to believe is not toxic? Who I'm certain actually is when I ask my intuition, who do I wish wasn't toxic, but I'm certain they are? You don't wanna ask that question because when your intuition comes up with an answer, you don't wanna have to do anything about it. You wanna pretend this person's not toxic, but you know they are. Who's not good for me that I keep pretending is. Those are the tough questions right there. So questions of the way.
Speaker 1:And the opposites of all. Those, too can be productive, depending on where you are on the drive. To five. Who's someone that I'm afraid to spend time around but would be super positive for me? Yeah, that's fire. Those are that too. Of what am I really proud that I accomplished? What am I doing really well right now that I'm not giving myself credit for? I'll turn a positive spin on it, because I know a lot of us do beat ourselves up more than we actually should.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you need both. And if some people are overly positive, some people are overly negative. We drive to five. You can't only look at the good, you have to look at the bad too. But you can't only look at the bad, you gotta look at the good too. So try to stay at five with that. That's a good point.
Speaker 1:All right, we gotta go, because you're going on a podcast Tomorrow for episode number 1563, I'm gonna do a little pivot. I want to do one powerful reframe on money. That's what we're gonna do tomorrow. One powerful reframe on money. Yeah, I think it's gonna make for a good episode. It's gonna be an out of the box way to think about money. So that is what we're gonna do tomorrow. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we do not have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.
Speaker 2:Questions are the answer. No-transcript.
