Next Level University

#1569 - One Reason You're Not Motivated

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Ever felt like you're teetering on the edge, where one step could either send you tumbling into a pit of anxiety or leave you lounging in the valley of complacency–caught between the suffocating embrace of rapid business growth and the seductive ease of comfort? In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros share their journey through the treacherous landscape of motivation, from the harrowing peaks of scarcity to the indulgent plateaus of abundance. Discover the challenge-skills sweet spot and how striking that elusive balance can propel us forward without losing our footing. By embracing the ups and downs and finding our unique balance, we can thrive amidst the chaos of success and satisfaction.

Links mentioned:
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level Monthly Meetup #25: "Creating Clear Goals For 2024" on January 4th, 2024, 06:00 PM EST - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/

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Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Show notes:
(1:56) Keeping it real
(3:01) Overly scarce or overly abundant
(5:30) Challenge-skills sweet spot
(6:54) Balancing on the edge 
(11:04) Nathan expresses his appreciation for the invaluable coaching services he received from Alan.
(12:34) Rides of life
(15:07) Evaluate yourself
(16:52) All behaviors-belief driven
(24:27) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin:

Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed our latest episode, episode number 1,568. The only way around it is through it Today for episode number 1,569. One reason you're not motivated I'm gonna kick off the glasses. Happy New Year. Happy New Year, next Level Nation. Getting a little reflection. Kick off the glasses. Can I see you fully? No, does that matter? No, not really. No, because we're gonna do just that.

Alan:

Can you at least see my blurry facial expressions?

Kevin:

Yes, I can see them well enough. So this episode comes from a personal experience. As you know, I always try to keep it real because I don't know, maybe it seems like we don't have issues, or maybe it seems like we have it all figured out. I promise you, we do not spend 24 hours with us behind the scenes and you would realize that fairly quickly.

Alan:

So over the last, you mean things don't just work out for you.

Kevin:

No, no, no, not for me, not for me, it doesn't seem to go that way. Over the last three or so months we have grown a lot. We have a new Not a new department, but next level. Social media is a department that went from maybe four or five clients Maybe four clients to 12 or 13 in a matter of maybe a month.

Alan:

Strong work.

Kevin:

Yes, and strong work to everybody in next level social media and I have taken on a lot of the upfront work of getting that rolling and that's my job and that's what I'm supposed to do, but it has been very, very, very challenging to keep up with that and everything else and honestly, I feel like the business has come first and Kevin has come second. I've been joking about this for what seems like a year now, but my morning routine is not good. It's been a. I've been riding the struggle bus a little bit. Things haven't been as smooth as I would like them to be and I realized that the more overwhelmed I got, the more oh, my chair just did it. I almost did it again. I almost went ass over tea kettle, this chair, I need to get a new chair. So this is going to be a problem over here.

Kevin:

The more overwhelmed I got, the less motivated I got. The more I found myself hitting snooze, the more I found myself just struggling to do that. One more thing that I know would be super important for momentum and when I was thinking about it I said okay, here's the issue. I right now am too scarce, I am too far outside of my comfort zone where I, quite literally, am not motivated to do anything. I told Alan today. I said I didn't even want to get out of bed, I just wanted to stay in bed. I'm so overwhelmed 12 out of 10 overwhelmed.

Kevin:

But the opposite is also true, and you've said this before, alan. You've said I need to find a way to make sure I don't get too abundant, because when I get too abundant I might take my foot off the gas. So my intention when I was deciding this episode was one reason you're not motivated is you're overly scarce. But it's really two reasons you might not be motivated. You're either overly scarce or you're overly abundant. When I say scarce, I don't necessarily mean financially scarce, maybe energetically scarce, maybe you're just overwhelmed with the amount of work you're putting in, and the same thing for abundant. It's not necessarily I'm losing my voice too it's not necessarily financially abundant, maybe it's just abundance, whatever that feels like to you. Maybe things feel like they're working or things are going smoothly.

Kevin:

We are guilty of both of those. Alan and I have been very overwhelmed and it's hard sometimes to keep up the momentum. But we've also been very abundant. Where it's hard to keep up the momentum, there's a quote. There was a boxer. I don't remember who it was, but he said it's really hard to wake up in silk sheets, get out of bed and go for a run at four o'clock in the morning when it's raining. That's the abundance side of things. It's really hard to motivate yourself when maybe you already have a lot of the results that motivated you in the past. But the other side of it is sometimes it's hard to be motivated when you're just struggling to get through it. So that is the episode that I had in mind for today.

Alan:

I love the concept. You've heard me talk, if you're a long-term listener, of the challenge skills sweet spot, and that's really, I think, what this sort of is as well. So picture three circles, like the company target three circles. The inner circle is your comfort zone and, as you know, we encourage you to always get outside your comfort zone. And when you get outside your comfort zone you go into your learning zone or your growth zone. I like growth zone better growth zone. It's where you're not too comfortable but you're not freaking out either. It's drive to five. So in this case, zero would be comfort zone, five would be centered challenge skills sweet spot, growth zone. And then 10 to Kevin's point. He said 12 would be anxiety zone, which is panic zone, anxiety zone, injury zone. You can call it injury zone.

Alan:

I was thinking about this the other day in the gym. If you lift too much weight you're going to get injured, especially if you don't stretch or warm up, but if you lift too little you're not going to grow, and it's that same thing. We all have to dance between struggle and success, we have to dance between too much and too little, we have to dance between overwhelm and comfort, and I think that if you stay in your comfort zone too long, you're going to end up scarce eventually, and then the world is going to kick you out of that. I have one person who well, I'll use us as an example. I remember in Q2 of this past year or was this in 2022 when I basically was saying I was watching my favorite show at like 11am on a Tuesday.

Kevin:

Yeah, that was 2022.

Alan:

Yeah, that's when you know you're in trouble is. We had a big month. It was the biggest month we had ever had. Up to that point, we've since far surpassed that month, which is really cool, but took us a year to do it. We had a huge month biggest month we've ever had at NLU, and Kevin and I spent a lot of years really broke.

Alan:

So this was a big deal and I remember just letting it ride and I knew you always know and I was watching my favorite show at like 11am on a Tuesday eating lunch, and sometimes I'd watch more than one episode and I just knew. I knew it's like this is not good. You're getting a little cocky, you're getting a little abundant, you're getting a little entitled and fair enough, sure enough, I should say. The next month didn't go as well as the previous month, and then the month after that was even worse, and then by the third month it's complete panic zone and it's dude.

Alan:

We have got to step back on the gas because we are screwed if we don't. What got us here isn't going to get us there, type of thing. And Kevin said many times if you stop doing what got you to the dance, you don't get to keep dancing, so to speak. It's just because you won the Super Bowl or the NBA championship or the Olympic gold medal doesn't mean the next year you don't have to train If anything you have to kind of innovate and train even harder, because all the people that lost are ignited and ready to rock.

Alan:

And so I playfully joke about how I thought I'd win my first fitness show and got smoked. And then my second fitness show, I genuinely thought I was going to lose. I was scarce the whole time and I ended up beating everyone by a significant margin and then I thought I'd win again and then I lost. So I really think that's what this is. I was in my comfort zone, thinking I'd win, and I lost. I was in my growth zone, slash anxiety zone definitely my anxiety zone thinking I'd lose and I ended up winning. And then I went back to my comfort zone and I think that we all tend to be on one end or the other. I tend to be overly swinging on the anxiety zone. I tend to really push things Rarely do I find myself in the comfort zone.

Alan:

You've heard people say those quotes of the only time I'm uncomfortable is when I'm in the comfort zone, and I think that's what I'm comfortable is when I'm comfortable. That resonates deeply with me. I don't know if it will resonate deeply with other people, but I do know people like that Emilia's that way. It's very hard for her to be comfortable. When things are good, we're kind of like okay, what does this mean? Are we not maximizing our potential? Are we letting it ride? Are we not doing all we can with all we have? That kind of thing. And so that's one category. If you're on that end, be aware of that. And then the other category is it's very, very, very easy for you to slip back into R&R, very easy to slip back into comfort zone, very easy to let it ride, so to speak. And oh well, it's just one day, no, one day turns into a habit Me watching my favorite show at 11 o'clock on a Tuesday. When I start doing that, it starts becoming a daily thing. It very quickly. I mean, I remember I joke about watching the show Friends.

Alan:

Again, I had to quit. It was one episode, then it was two, then it was four, then it was six by the time Emilia got back from vacation. I'm sitting there going. I gotta quit. This is bad, this is getting bad. They let you write Netflix just goes. You don't even have to click anything, it just goes to the next episode. You can't even tell sometimes if it's a new episode. No credits, nothing. So, anyways, we've all been on both ends, and I think you gotta stay centered. That's why life's so hard. You can't be always working, but you also can't always be relaxing, and we tend to be on one end or the other.

Kevin:

Think of it like a theme park. So Alan and I grew up in the same town in Massachusetts and the closest theme park to us was Six Flags, new England.

Alan:

Oh yeah, and at Six.

Kevin:

Springfield, at Six Flags, new England, they have many, many different rides. They have small roller coasters, they have the tea cups, I'm sure. They have all sorts of Ferris wheel, all that stuff.

Alan:

They also have some pretty large roller coasters, one being Super, the one that was the older version of the roller, the one that hold on. I can think of the wooden one, yeah, man.

Kevin:

Like Cyclone or something.

Alan:

Yeah.

Kevin:

Yes, I believe so you went on that thing, I believe. So, yeah, that's a good way. You wanna get your whole body adjusted? Go on an old wooden roller coaster.

Alan:

It'll straighten you right out, or it'll put you in all over the place. That had to be a massive liability, huh, I'm sure. I'm sure those theme parks must have lots of insurance. Yes, yes.

Kevin:

I just want you to imagine you go to the theme park and, depending on what your set point for excitement is, there are certain rides you will look at and say, ah, that's not enough. Well, I'm not gonna get any excitement on the Tilt or Whirl. That ain't it for me. There are other things you'll look at and say, absolutely no, I'm not going on that either. To again, it's not exactly. It really is too comfortable, too scary. Really is what it is Same thing, same thing when you go to you mentioned snowboarding recently Some mountains you go to. You go down a run and it's like, okay, this is not it, I can't do this, it's too slow, it's not enough. I can't even keep enough speed to go. This is not a real hill. The other side of that is I literally it is so steep that if I try this and I slip, I am going to be in trouble. Neither of those are going to be enjoyable experiences.

Alan:

And neither one will be constructive either. Yes, that's one thing that I never used to realize is, let's say, you're way, way, way double black diamond and you're brand new. You're just going to be on your butt the whole way down. You're not going to get any better. But if you sit on the bunny hill the whole time, you're also not going to get any better, because there's no challenge. That's a great analogy.

Kevin:

And that's really-.

Alan:

I remember I went snowboard with beginners and they would always want to do Ralph's Run. You remember Ralph's?

Kevin:

Run. I remember Ralph's Run. Yes, Watch you.

Alan:

Sit Mountain, shout out to Watch you Sit Mountain and I. Everyone loves Ralph's Run. It's like this is not. I need some jumps or something. This is brutal, right, and I realized in hindsight. I didn't know any of this back then, but I just had been snowboarding for way longer than these people and I was bored, so I'd have to go in the woods and all that.

Kevin:

If you and I ever go to the mountain together, we will not be able to stick together because I am not going to do any jumps.

Alan:

No jumps.

Kevin:

Not at all.

Alan:

I don't think I shit anymore either. That ain't it for me. I gotta stay on the ground.

Kevin:

I'm not very aerodynamic and I don't know how to control myself in the air either.

Alan:

The risk is bigger these days because when you get older you know an injury. You don't bounce back from these injuries quick. You know you might you twist an ankle. You might have that for like three or four years.

Kevin:

This is the thought. Sprains and twists, I think, are worse than brakes, because they don't I don't know they don't heal right or something. I read that somewhere. I don't know whether or not I did my next level nugget for this episode. Alan and I. I went down to Alan's house today, we hung out for a bit, we did some work and then I drove home and we're recording this episode. So we're a little loopy and we've been together but now we're virtual. So it's kind of weird. It's been kind of a weird day on this New Year's Day recording. My next level nugget is this Ask yourself where are things too easy and where are things too difficult?

Kevin:

If things are too easy, you most likely won't keep doing them. If they're too difficult, you most likely won't keep doing them. Try playing a video game with an infant who's never played before. Try playing a video game with somebody who's been playing that video game forever. Both of those sides of the spectrum are not going to create a conducive environment for growth. So ask yourself where is, where are things too easy, when are things too challenging and what can I do to adjust accordingly?

Alan:

Two things. One, shout out to group 13 that was just filled and locked. I am so, so, so excited. What an aligned group. Second thing, my next level nugget.

Alan:

I think all of us have there's this quote all behaviors belief driven. I think some of us have a belief that life is supposed to be easy, and I'm not making that wrong. But I think you will tend to gravitate towards your comfort zone if you believe that. And then I have some people that I coach that believe life is supposed to be challenging. So they tend to always overfill their plate, usually at the expense of their well-being. And we're all kind of sometimes we flip both ways. I think that's my food. My food is here. Hopefully Amelia's going to get that.

Alan:

But that's my next level nugget is check in and ask yourself do I own a place? Do I unconsciously believe that life is supposed to be easy? So I tend to take the easier paths, which gets me in trouble. I don't grow enough. Or do you think life is inherently supposed to be difficult? And again, all of this is unconscious. So you're I'll use the example with Amelia. We go on walks and she always takes the hardest road, always takes the hardest path, and because of that she's often. She's growing a ton, but she's often overwhelmed and maybe doesn't enjoy her day to day life as much as someone who is in their challenge skills sweet spot.

Alan:

So her and I are actually working on that in 2024 of can we not make this game unwinnable? Can we make sure that we actually enjoy ourselves along the way while we're producing and growing? And all that I told her. I said I promise 2024 will be a little bit different because 2023 was really challenging. I said she's like well, you said that in 2022, the beginning of 2023. And I said, yeah, but this time I have to make. I have to be more discerning and I have to make it more winnable. It has to be more winnable games. It can't be let's shoot for, you know, the top amount, everest all the time in everything. It needs to be much more specific. It needs to be much more clear.

Alan:

Speaking of which, we have a meetup coming up. This is Thursday, january 4th, and it's setting clear goals. I actually want to do something a little different this year and I want to set some goals that are not easily achievable but, yeah, kind of easily achievable. I want to get some Ws. I want to see. I want to see if I can set some easily achievable, clear goals and see what that does to my self-esteem and my self-worth, because I'm so used to setting goals that are so unreasonable and then kind of taking self-esteem hits along the way. So I'm going to flip the script, give it a try and I can always go back if I don't like it. So if you want to join us setting clear goals for 2024, monthly meetup, thursday, 6 pm Eastern Standard Time the registration link will be in the show notes and we hope that you join us and kickstart the year off right.

Kevin:

And whether or not you attend that Next Level Nation is a wonderful place for you to find like-minded people who are on a similar growth journey. There's posts in there every single day. It's amazing, it's inclusive, it's safe, it's the best, it's positive. So the link will be in the show notes. As always, I'm out here, jeffen. I don't know what tomorrow's episode is because I haven't come up with it yet, because I was on the road and then I was with Alan and then I was doing a stand-up comedy special in the office with Alan, making him giggle like a little child.

Kevin:

And then I came back here and here we are recording. So I don't know what it will be. I do promise we will do our absolute best to make it as valuable as humanly possible. Quickly shout out to everybody who has been with us since the beginning, or whatever you've joined We've been doing this for a hot minute and I do not expect you to listen to all the episodes, because there are a lot, but thank you for a very successful year. This is obviously the first or second episode of 2024, which is wild to say. So we're coming up on seven years of doing this. You mind if I share the impact quick.

Alan:

No, no, please Just go through them. Yeah, that would be really cool. One sec, Let me pull this up. So on Christmas Eve, this is how I spent my Christmas Eve. I was looking at I wanted to reward the team with something special, so we gave some gifts out to the team, just saying thank you. But essentially what we did is we created a graphic. I posted it on my social media so you might have seen that.

Alan:

But in 2023, we colon and I just this is the first year where we have metrics for every department, so I just wanted to see you know what kind of impact did we have in a single year? And the idea underneath this isn't just to share how awesome we are. Underneath this, it's don't underestimate how much these days can stack up, because on the day to day, we did not feel super successful all the time, but when you look back at the end of the year, it's like whoa, look at how much we've done. So hopefully that's a lesson for all of us. Okay, so we guessed it on 337 other podcasts, mostly Kev I didn't start until the tail end of the year, so shout out to Laura on that. We recorded 365 next level university episodes with over 210,000 listens. It's actually 208,399, but we've had more listens since then. We recorded 52 podcast growth university episodes, which is Kevin's other podcast, with 2,897 listens.

Alan:

A podcast about podcast ing gained 51 new next level nation members, and that's net too. We completed two speeches. We wrote 12 blogs. We completed 12 monthly meetups with 165 attendees. We completed 52 book club sessions shout out to book club. Shout out to Brandon with 511 attendees. We gained 61 new optimal users. That's our habit tracking app. We gained 21 new online course downloads check out the website if you're interested. Completed four group coaching programs with 42 students graduates. Completed two trainings, hosted one live event with 22 attendees. We gained 28 next level podcast solutions clients. Shout out to the production team. Shout out to Youkev. Holy crap, this is a big one. We produced 1,735 podcast episodes.

Kevin:

Big shout out to the NLPS team.

Alan:

In a single year, we produced 1,735 podcast episodes. It's wild. The conscious couples podcast is about to hit 100 episodes. That was all done by NLPS. So shout out to the NLPS team. Holy crap. We gained 11 next level social media clients. To Kevin's point earlier, we completed 298 business coaching sessions all of those were an hour long or way more, because I tend to go over and we raised slash, donated $1,825 at the next level hope foundation, impacting 30 kids.

Alan:

Slash single parents Now, rather than just tooting our own horn. The cool part about that is all of that is impact focused and really, at the end of the day, when you add up these days, I think we overestimate what one day can do and we underestimate what can happen when you stack the days one upon another and you get a little bit better each day, little bit better, little bit better, little bit better. So in 2023, I think we achieved more than any previous year and, honestly, we probably achieved more than any of the other years combined, which is wild. So just don't underestimate the power of the compound effect. That's probably another episode, but I wanted to share. Shout out to everyone who helped the NLU team, the NLU community. We could not have done that without you. And 2024, happy new year. Let's make it the best year ever.

Kevin:

What do you think? Another 365 episodes this year. You know it, man, you think Of course, 12 meetups.

Alan:

you think this time though, let's do it in the challenge skills sweet spot. Well, let's just say we're not off to a great start with that.

Kevin:

I'm already burnt out. It's only the first day of the year as of the recording of this, but we will. We're back, we're proactive. Everything's going to be great. Strong year brother, strong year you too, man, just getting started as Alan has been saying since the very beginning.

Alan:

One day maybe that'll switch to.

Kevin:

it's actually going, but I don't know, maybe when we're 80.

Alan:

We're only a little toddler. I know we got to go. Yeah, we got to go Real quick. We're only six years old, going to be seven, so we're only a little toddler right now. So we're going to grow and we're going to keep growing. And imagine what we're going to be capable of when we're adults Can't even drive a car at seven years of age.

Kevin:

No, I don't know.

Alan:

Not legally.

Kevin:

Peel a banana.

Alan:

I don't even know, probably.

Kevin:

You think I could peel a banana at six, seven, Probably. I don't think I could actually peel a banana until recently. You do it the opposite. You know you're supposed to anybody shout outs, anybody watching or listening. You peel a banana the opposite way. You don't peel it from the top, you peel it from the bottom. Look at, you got to watch how monkeys do it. Monkeys and gorillas, they do it from the bottom. They know the ways. Yeah, they know the ways. All right, we're going to talk to you tomorrow Again, I don't know what episode it is. As always, we love you, we appreciate you genuinely. Best year ever We've had an NLU. Thank you to the team, Thank you to everybody. Alan, thank you to you. Thank you to our amazing partners for putting up with us and our last minute lack of pro activity. More often than not At NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan:

Happy New Year and keep it sustainable. N vampire social media, you're welcome. Next, a Venomen6.

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Alan Lazaros

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Kevin Palmieri

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