Next Level University

#1570 - Don't Make This Mistake To Start 2024

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Have you ever charged into January with a list of resolutions as long as your arm, only to find yourself burnt out by February? In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros unpack why starting the year at a sprint can leave you sprawled on the sidelines. They share stories from their fitness journeys, discussing the pitfalls of overzealous goal-setting and the virtue of pacing yourself–to help you set a sustainable pace for your personal and fitness resolutions. This conversation aims to guide listeners toward a more balanced and sustainable path to wellness and well-being with an approach that marries humility with ambition. Setting modest goals and building upon them underscores the potential for a more fulfilling and health-conscious life, free from the pitfalls of unrealistic expectations and unnecessary pressure.

Links mentioned:
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level U Book Club - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-book-club/
Next Level Monthly Meetup #25: "Creating Clear Goals For 2024" on January 4th, 2024, 06:00 PM EST - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/ 

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Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Show notes:
(1:35) Avoid going too hot
(4:04) Ultimate perspective
(5:39) Too much, too soon
(6:42) Setting a sustainable pace
(13:06) Nathan expresses his appreciation for the invaluable coaching services he received from Alan.
(14:43) One of the worst experiences
(16:21) Starting small and building momentum
(17:36) Effect on self-worth
(23:24) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin:

Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed our latest episode, yesterday's episode, episode number 1569. One reason you're not motivated I believe it actually ended up being two reasons you're potentially not motivated. But today, for episode number 1570, don't make this mistake. To start 2020 for the old.

Kevin:

I Don't want to say the old joke because I don't want to make it a joke, but the old joke in the in the bodybuilding fitness community is the worst time of the year in terms of business is January, because there's a lot of people who have decided I want to get in better shape, I'm gonna go to the gym, I'm gonna turn my life around, I'm all for that, I don't care if it's busier, that's good, you do. You. You Want to make a change in your life. You should do it and there shouldn't be anybody making fun of you for that. So I am all hands on deck for that. But the thing that does make me sad is when the new year comes. It's almost like people are trying to condense all of the shame from last year, all of the self disappointment from last year and all of the motivation they feel like they have for the next year into like the first week and it goes from I'm going to Make 2024 the best year of my life. I'm gonna make this year, the new year, the best year of my life.

Kevin:

You start that thing in this example. It's the gym, and then after four days you're burnt out and that's it. And then you have this negative relationship with yourself, you have negative relationship with goals, you have a negative relationship with the gym or whatever it is in this example, and that carries through For however long, and then you find yourself two, three, four months down the line and you lost all this time. The mistake that I want to talk about today, the mistake to avoid in 2024, is coming too hot out of the gate. Instead of saying I am going to lose X amount of weight this year, this month, or I am going to make X amount of dollars, yeah, that's okay. But let's just say that, for example, my F in chair did it again. So here's the thing I've come to the realization. I told Helen I figured out what happened when I put it together. I don't think I bolted it very tight, because the back I could literally do them with my fingers the same chair.

Kevin:

I do, don't you? I don't think so.

Alan:

I think it's the same. Look at our.

Kevin:

No, my headrest is bigger than yours. No, it's you sure.

Alan:

I think I find all the way back. I Know. No, I mean, I didn't have my mouth in the mic for that.

Kevin:

No, no, we could hear I'm gonna fix it because now I know what the problem is.

Alan:

That would be that would be very good for our listeners.

Kevin:

So I'm not saying I Don't know. I would say it's probably beneficial to say I'm gonna make X amount of dollars this year, because it's a little bit different, then saying I'm gonna lose X amount of weight this year or whatever it is. Ultimate goal, ultimate Perspective for this episode, ultimate one point, if I can make it, I you don't have to accomplish everything in the first week of the year. You don't have to go to the gym seven times in the first week of the year. You don't have to get 50 new clients in the first week of the year. You don't have to meet and fall for and marry the person of your dreams. You don't have to do that in the first week of the year. There's a lot of time and I know we wanna get off to a good start and we wanna build momentum and we never wanna miss a Monday and all that stuff. I know, but just don't beat yourself up if it's not going that way.

Kevin:

The reason I wanted to do this video, alan. I did this episode. I did a video on my Instagram story today and I said I know I haven't been on here in a minute and I know usually social media is a highlight reel for the most part and mine is too I'm usually very happy and things are rolling when I'm on here, but I'm definitely struggling and the business has taken more of me than I've been able to handle with Grace, and we talked about that in a previous episode. But it doesn't mean that this year can't be super successful. It doesn't mean I'm down and out for the count just because we're two or three days into the new year and I don't feel like I'm crushing it. It doesn't mean it can't turn around quickly. So I just don't want anybody to lose sight of the fact that just because we're three days into the year and you're not crushing it yet does not mean over the next 362 days of the year you're not gonna turn around. That is a lot, a lot, a lot of time.

Alan:

Going too hot out of the gate. Two stories. One of them I have deep no, it's not deep shame, but I definitely have some shame around it. So I will be courageous in my communication. The first story is actually this time last year I saw this woman on the treadmill hammering it, crushing it. And I was walking on the treadmill like I do a little five minute warm up and I turned and I looked and I thought to myself, oh, she's in trouble, she was sprinting, she was on a very high setting and I know what she's doing. It's new year, new you. I get it, I do, but I remember thinking like that's too much, too soon and I hope that you stick with it, but I doubt that you can. I'm over here walking right, and I've gone to the gym at this point a year almost, and I'm walking still right. So sustainability and not going too far to the gate. But I wanna also not just out that person. I wanna talk about when I went too hot out of the gate, which I've made this mistake many, many times. This just happens to be one of them.

Alan:

So when I was in high school, I did cross country and cross country is long running lots and lots and lots of long, long, long races, and I was supposed to. So the coach would always sit you down and say okay, in order to win this cross country meet, alan, you need to get fourth, alex, you need to get first. He always did this. Then the other thing, we'd go through what you needed to achieve in order to not let the team down. Oh man, so my mom was there and I just wanted to crush it out of the gate, came out of the gate first, first one to hit the woods. You know, new England forests are vast and I was. It was a long straightaway. There was a beach on this one too. It was like by the water, and I was the first one to hit the woods out of the gate. Whistle blows hammering it.

Alan:

By the time I get to the woods I am like I am in so much trouble. I went way too fast out of the gate, and so this is the part that I have shame around. I was not gonna win. I wasn't gonna hit the fourth place that I needed for the team to win. I was gonna let the team down, I was gonna let my mom down, I was gonna let myself down, blah, blah, blah. So I pretended to fall in the woods and I purposely got mud on my leg so that I could make the excuse that I fell. I tripped and I fell. That's why I'm not in fourth, when in reality it's because, number one, he did not take practice nearly seriously enough and, number two, I'm in shame and I came too hot out of the gate, and I remember that I will never forget that me, cause I was, you know, those races, kev. I don't know if you ever did cross country when you're middle school.

Kevin:

No, none of that, absolutely not. I avoided it like the plague, of course, of course.

Alan:

Brutal. Long distance runners go through so much pain. So I was supposed to come in fourth and you remember, shout out to Scofield I'll just say Scofield and he. So there was this part in the beach running on the beaches is the worst and it was. You had to go all the way down and then back and I was coming out down and he I was supposed to beat him and he was passing me Like the opposite way and going what happened, you know, and I just shame, just be lying, don't even look at him, right. So, anyways, let the team down, let myself down, lie about it, not my finest moment. And all of this is just to say the next level nugget, which is just don't go too fast out of the gate. Had I paced myself, that's what this is pace yourself.

Alan:

So far, I am happy to say that in 2024, I have done mobility and I have written every single day. There's only two days, but here's the key my mobility is only 10 minutes. I set a timer, and writing is only 20 minutes. I set a timer. And the reason I'm doing that is because I went into this year with humility, because last year I was off and on and I tried to do a half hour and I tried to do 20 minutes. So I tried to do 20 minutes of mobility. Half hour of writing failed miserably, only got maybe a third of them done If, out of the 365 days, probably a third of those I wrote and did mobility. This year I'm trying to do differently and whether or not I'll do the whole year I don't know. I'm off to a good start, but I'll tell you what. My chances of success are far higher when I'm only doing 10 minutes of mobility in the morning and then 20 minutes of writing, because that's a half hour total instead of what I was doing before, which is 50 minutes, because the way my mornings run it's 50 minutes and it's just too much. It was not doable, it felt impossible. And I often say if you had a friend who broke as many promises to you as you've broken to yourself, how much would you value that friendship? Think of that friend who keeps breaking their promises over and over and over again, or that relationship that keeps cheating on you, or that relationship that keeps talking to that other person when they say they won't or whatever it is. How much are you gonna trust that person? How much are you gonna value that person? How much are you gonna trust that relationship? And the answer is not much. So set yourself small steps daily that you can keep the promises you make to yourself, and you will build self-esteem, you will build self-worth, you will build self-trust, and then that will compound and then you can up the ante.

Alan:

Last piece Kev Emilia came to me at the end of the year, new Year's Eve, and she said I can't do the next year the same way we did the previous year. We have to improve. And I said okay, I'm with you. So the previous year, for 2023, emilia and I had exercised every day for 30 minutes, minimum 30 minutes. Sometimes we did 45, occasionally we did an hour, not really, but at least 30 minutes every single day walking, jogging, whatever, weight training. We tried to do weight training every other day, but we didn't always.

Alan:

And she said we have to up the ante. And I was like mm-mm, I don't know Right, I said okay, I'm open to it. She said five minutes, let's do 35 minutes, like, all right, we're gonna try 35 minutes. And I said but I wanna can the 45 minute thing, because what would happen is, when we were feeling good, we'd up it to 45. And I was like can we? Can that? We can it, let's just do 35 all year, right? She said, no, we're gonna keep the 45.

Alan:

So that was her decision, not mine. If we're feeling it, we'll stay 45. And I said this I'm not ever doing more than 45. I said this if we're exercising every day for all of 2024, which we will do okay, we've got a Fit Pick Challenge. If anyone wants to join, okay, check out my Instagram or Facebook stories.

Alan:

But I said I'm never doing more than 45. If I'm exercising every day for the rest of my life, I'm never doing more than 45. And I mean never. And the reason why is not just to be a dick, okay, it's because I'm not doing it. I know absolutely not, it's not sustainable. I know it's not, and so next year maybe we'll do 40, and then eventually we'll do 45 every day, apparently. But that's where I'm drawing the line. So, anyways, back to the listeners Whatever your goals are, whatever it is, just make it sustainable and try to stay humble. That was one of my biggest mistakes is trying to go too hard out of the gate and try to do things that are just insane instead of actually slowly build, and I've kind of come around to that idea.

Kevin:

Remember, alan and I lived in Florida for a month back in 2018, I believe Early, maybe 2018, which is wild to me and we made some friends while we were down there. We made some acquaintances and we got to hang out with our buddy, eddie Panero of your World Within, and we went with him and one of our mentors at the time to this gym that was run by two Marines at a podcast, and they were like, hey, after you interview, like we're going to do an interview, all of us. After we do that, we should go do the sled challenge. And Alan and I were like what's that? What does that mean? And they said it's just this, we just load up these. I think they're like called prowlers, these sleds with weights outside and you just push, you just push them. Okay, yeah, fit, I'm fit, I'm fit.

Alan:

Over tar.

Kevin:

Well, yeah, yeah, it's outside in the Florida sun and it's in a parking lot. So we and Eddie Eddie said, yeah, I've done it before, it's terrible, but you guys should do it. And I'm thinking all right, I'm in really good shape. I know Eddie's a runner, but I'm strong. I feel like I could probably do it. If Eddie could do it, I could probably do it. Nothing against Eddie. And we do the interview and we take our shirts off, dump them out. Here we go, let's get going. And the second we started.

Alan:

I knew I was in trouble. Real quick, could I just intervene? I? Had asked them. I said it's just there and back and they're like, don't worry about it.

Kevin:

And I was like seriously just there and back. I thought it was going to be no big deal.

Alan:

The friction on the pavement man.

Kevin:

I didn't know what there and back. I thought it was to the end of the building and back. This was like this must have been a football field.

Alan:

Even I came in. So cocky man In Oregon, in Oregon, what the hell.

Kevin:

Giant bug just flew around and landed on my TV Stink bug. When I started I didn't I don't know if I understood how far I had to go, so I was like I was like sprinting, oh yeah, too much.

Kevin:

Yeah, this is going to be fine and then by the time I made it, I didn't even make it to the end without crawling. I was crawling at the end, where you turn around and come back, and then on the way back I was dying. I puked on myself several times. It was the worst experience, one of the worst experiences of my entire life.

Kevin:

Just another example of coming out of the gate hot, assuming that I had to get it all done. I wanted to win first place. Same, I didn't even finish, I didn't even place. There was no medals for Kevin at the end. It was brutal and I slept the whole ride home. I thought I was going to have a panic attack.

Kevin:

So just another example of yeah, you want to get going, yeah, you want to get started, yeah, you want to build momentum, but not at the expense of further future momentum. It's a fine line. It's a fine line when you get your new gym shoes and you get your new running shoes and you get your new workout gear and then you want to go exercise every single day because you're afraid if you don't, you won't accomplish your goal. But there is a fine line to all of this. So just make sure you're on the right side of it.

Kevin:

And I just don't want anybody to start the year off and think that they are a terrible person because they make it four days in a row and then they crash and burn. Just because you crash and burn doesn't mean you can't get back on the horse next week. So don't beat yourself up. It's going to happen. But to Alan's point maybe you said this off air, I don't know setting small goals and accomplishing them and then setting a little bit of a bigger goal and then a little bit of a bigger goal, that's a really good way to get through the year. We didn't always give that advice for sure. Yeah.

Alan:

I wish I had, but now seeing become wiser in my older years.

Kevin:

Experience, and we've coached a lot more people at this point.

Alan:

Yeah.

Kevin:

I root coaching. You've done so many sessions so it's different Now you know.

Alan:

I realize how detrimental it is to your self-worth. I didn't know. Your self-worth takes a huge hit when you constantly set these huge goals that are not achievable. And it's unconscious, it's not like you're consciously like, oh, I'm not worthy when you break those small promises. I'm much better off doing 10 minutes of mobility every single day and actually keeping that promise to myself than I am trying to do a 30-minute meditation slash yoga session. That I'm never going to do. It's just even though I keep wanting to do it.

Alan:

We all know you want to go to the gym, you want to exercise, you want to eat better, you want to do gratitudes before bed with your intimate partner. These things you want to do. Everybody does. Everybody wants to be in better shape. Everybody wants to live a better, more fulfilled life. Everybody wants to grow and learn. For the most part, if you're a listener of this show, you obviously do, but that doesn't mean you're going to do it. It doesn't mean you're going to do it. Doing and wanting and doing are two very different things.

Alan:

I wanted to do mobility every day last year. I wanted to write every day last year. I talked about it a ton and I failed. I was thinking about that in the shower today. I was like I failed. I want to be more open about that. I failed last year. I still wrote 12 blogs, but my goal was bi-weekly. My goal was 24. I only wrote 12. And the question is, why didn't I just shoot for 12 and then, once I hit 12, up the ante? And I think it was probably a little bit arrogant in hindsight. And the sled challenge is fun to reminisce on, because you and I we have this identities of athletes. We worked out hours I mean probably an hour and a half a day or so only missed a day a week maybe. And Cardio is different.

Kevin:

That cardio is very.

Alan:

Eddie had done this before and he paced himself and I remember I got down and then probably a quarter of the way back before Eddie passed me and Eddie passed me and he had strategy. He did push on the way down and pull on the way back and I had to see him pass me, get that humble pie and then start doing the pulling because it was awful. It was so much worse than I thought and that's the last thing I'll share is this Everything looks easier than it is. I'm telling you everything. Just remember that everything is probably 10 times harder than you think at first. Don't let that stop you from trying. Don't let that stop you from trying. Start, start small. Let, instead of have it stop you from trying. Just start one tenth and then two tenths and then three tenths, instead of doing the whole sled challenge in Record time and getting first place like Kevin wanted. Why not be like? You know what I want to see if I can finish, you know? I think that would be the more humble way.

Kevin:

Yeah, and I might have actually finished you probably would have. I wanted to come in first. I didn't finish it all.

Alan:

It's a good lesson. That's a good story.

Kevin:

It's a very good lesson and yes, we're joking about it, but it was. That was a very humbling experience for sure, learned a lot.

Alan:

Yeah, it was emotional it was. It was not fun at the time. It's funny looking back at the time. You and I Were not in a good place not like you and I were fine, but with ourselves.

Kevin:

Oh, not really. No, that that was a different day. That's when we went and did hot yoga and we were just crying on the way up to the studio. We'll save that for another. Another episode, next level nation.

Kevin:

If you have not yet joined our private Facebook group and you want to be around a group of like-minded individuals, I'm convinced that. To Alan's point, one of the things that a lot of us want more of is positive community. I was talking to a lot of people about Group coaching, the group coaching that just started yesterday. Our first session would be yesterday if you're listening to this, on Wednesday and one of the things a lot of people said was I'm so excited to get around a community of like-minded people. I'm so excited to be surrounded by people who want to grow and want to evolve. If that is you and group coaching wasn't a right fit, or a live event isn't the right fit, whatever it may be, book club isn't a right fit. Whatever, join our private Facebook group. I can guarantee that will be the right fit. It's very easy to join. There's posts every day and you can engage with the ones that you resonate with the most. The link will be in the show notes, as always.

Alan:

Excuse me, sir, did you say book club is not aligned?

Kevin:

I wasn't talking trash about. I was just saying maybe, maybe right now it's not it.

Alan:

Well, maybe, maybe it goes well with this episode, which is start small and build. Next level nation is the place to start small. It is if you're a listener, so we hope to see you in there, but if you're ready to build, build your mind. Book Club we're reading High Performance Habits by Brendan Burchard. We are actually almost done with this book and I recently tallied it up. I didn't, jeri Ann did, and she went through all the files of all our old digital assets and she found out that we are.

Alan:

This will be the 14th book that we've read in Book Club. Very cool, yeah, yeah. So our new book is going to be coming up soon. But remember Book Club you don't have to have read the book up until the chapter Every single. We have a WhatsApp group as well. So, alan at nextleveluniversecom, email me if you want into Book Club. I'll register you and I'll put you in the WhatsApp group or I'll send you a link to the WhatsApp group and you can join us and we. You can start anytime you want. You don't have to have read the book or read the chapter or be caught up. You don't even have to have read it. If you don't want, you can just come and have a discussion and you can keep your mic and camera off if you want. It's really quite an amazing community. So, book Club, join us at high performance habits. Brennan Burchard, and then another book coming soon. The poll will be in next level nation soon.

Kevin:

I vote in every poll, even though I don't attend Book Club. Well, does that make me wrong?

Alan:

No, no because you're trying to advocate for the books that you believe will help the community most. I understand Limitless you voted for. It was excellent.

Kevin:

Okay, tomorrow for episode number 1571. Also real quick, we have a meetup tomorrow. If you're listening to this, on Wednesday, we have a meetup tomorrow, 6pm Eastern Standard Time. All about starting the new year strong, so make sure you join us. If you are listening to this episode and you want to Again, meetups are one of those things. You can have your camera off. You don't have to participate at all. It's not recorded. It is one of the rare private things that we do. A lot of the stuff we do is episodes and stuff.

Alan:

Setting clear goals for 2024. If you have yet to set goals I had some client calls earlier and some people haven't set their goals yet because they're still catching up after taking their Christmas lights down and all that kind of stuff. If you haven't set goals yet, join us. We'll help you set goals for the year and goals that are achievable and doable and sustainable.

Kevin:

Strong work. Thank you for that. I did not know the name off the top of my head. Of course. Tomorrow, for episode number 1571. What are your three words for 2024? A client said this to me yesterday, Not yesterday, Last week. We were talking. She said what was your word for 2023? I said boundaries, because I was talking about how the team felt like it was the most aligned Christmas or holiday season ever. We were talking about it on the team call and I said I think it's boundaries. I think that's the reason why people have really leaned into setting boundaries. Self-worth has come up. And she said what's your word for 2024? I said what I'm going to say on tomorrow's episode.

Alan:

Well done.

Kevin:

What a hook.

Alan:

As always.

Kevin:

Which you have to listen to now. If you want to know, you have to. Oh my God, my chair did it again. You, son of a bee. As always we love you, we appreciate you, we are grateful for each and every one of you and at NLU we do not have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan:

Keep it sustainable. Next up on nation.

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host