Next Level University
Confidence, mindset, relationships, limiting beliefs, family, goals, consistency, self-worth, and success are at the core of hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros' heart-driven, no-nonsense approach to holistic self-improvement. This transformative, 7 day per week podcast is focused on helping dream chasers who have been struggling to achieve their goals and are seeking community, consistency and answers. If you've ever asked yourself "How do I get to the next level in my life", we're here for you!
Our goal at NLU is to help you uncover the habits to build unshakable confidence, cultivate a powerful mindset, nurture meaningful relationships, overcome limiting beliefs, create an amazing family life, set and achieve transformative goals, embrace consistency, recognize your self-worth, and ultimately create the fulfillment and success you desire. Let's level up your health, wealth and love!
Next Level University
#1577 - 6 Questions That Will Help You Understand Yourself So Much Better
In today’s episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros delve into the human psyche; we often encounter complex theories attempting to decipher what drives us. A prominent self-help and personal growth figure presents a relatively simple yet profound framework: the six core human needs. These needs are the blueprint of our motivations, the undercurrents guiding our decisions.
Links mentioned:
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Email 💬
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com
-25 Conscious Love Languages:
-Next Level Live: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 (Mid-day Event)
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Website 💻 http://www.nextleveluniverse.com
The best way to track your habits is here! Download the app: Optimal - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/optimal/
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Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level 5 To Thrive (free course) - https://bit.ly/3xffver
Next Level U Book Club - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-book-club/
Next Level Monthly Meetup: https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/
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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on LinkedIn, Instagram, or via email.
Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
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LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/
Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com
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Show notes:
(1:38) The needs of the human
(4:05) The needs of the spirit
(5:27) What drives you?
(12:05) Chad shares how Next Level Podcast Solutions transformed his podcast and provided invaluable assistance along the way.
(13:18) What's the thing that is most tied to it?
(17:54) Self-awareness for life's trajectory
(25:08) Outro
Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode, episode number 1576. I think I just opened Spotify by accident. Let me close that quickly, my bad.
Alan:Now we're gonna need you to get it together.
Kevin:now it's frozen so I can't see the screen. Okay, yesterday's episode was one reason we all need to avoid fake confidence. Part two, episode number 1576. Today, for episode number 1577, six questions that will help you understand yourself so much better. One of the first TED talks I ever watched, I believe, was a recommendation by the one, alan Lazarus, and he said hey brother, might be one of the best TED talks of all time. Yeah, I don't know why I went Hulk Hogan there for a minute.
Alan:This is one of no. I said the best, the best. This is the best.
Kevin:Ted talk of all time. You should watch it. I still believe that to be true. And what was the name of it? What was the name of the Ted talk?
Alan:Why we do what we do by one Anthony Robbins. By one Anthony.
Kevin:Robbins. So the TED talk was comprised of a lot of things, but in that Tony Robbins talked about the six basic human needs. I'll let you go go through it, alan, and then I can kind of tell my story. It wouldn't be fair of me or right of me to teach them, since you're the one who revealed them to me. So what are the six basic human needs and why do they matter? Also again, these are not ours, these are Tony Robbins.
Alan:All right. So the first one is certainty and the I Think the best way to describe certainty is at the beginning of COVID there was a lot of uncertainty, so it was very hard to think about the future when you weren't sure about the present certainty. Number two is variety. This is fun, unique experiences, travel, different food. Anyone who's a foodie most likely likes variety. They crave variety and, yeah, variety pretty self-explanatory. Next would be significance. So, statistically speaking, young men Kevin and I were both young American men growing up in in America and we craved significance, the American dream and wealth and all that kind of stuff.
Alan:So, significance tends to be what young boys are looking for. They want to be good at sports and they want to be, you know, wealthy one day, and they want to drive a nice car. So, significance, and again, women are crave significance as well. But in Tony's words he says men will do a lot for significance. Women will tend to do a lot for the fourth need, which is love. And again, this is changing actually, which is really good. I think that women are craving significance more, men are craving love more. I think it's a really good thing that the masculine and feminine are sort of Balancing out, so to speak, but anyways, so.
Alan:So the first one certainty. Second, one variety. Third, one significance. Fourth one love.
Alan:Okay, the fifth and the sixth needs are what he calls the needs of the spirit. The first four needs are what he calls the needs of the human. So everyone finds a way to meet the first four Certainty, variety, significance, love. The fifth and sixth are the ones that this podcast is focused on, which is growth and contribution, and so the point of this episode. To my understanding, kevin, we've done many episodes about these needs because they're so important, but what I tried to bring to the table on this one I told Kevin this in advance is I'm going to try to help everyone understand what their number one is. So Tony essentially says this in the TED Talk. I do highly recommend you watch the TED Talk. It is the best TED Talk I've ever watched, and I've watched hundreds, if not thousands, of TED Talks, probably hundreds, probably hundreds and it's by far the most important TED Talk in my opinion.
Alan:That said, tony says that we all have all six needs. All of us find a way to meet at least the first four, the needs of the human. Very few of us ever focus on growth and contribution, which he believes is where fulfillment comes from. He says this, but that's what I have to do, and so I've been really focused on fulfillment and these needs and trying to understand how to meet them and how to sustain them. More importantly, which one's the most important for you? So that's what this episode, I think, will be about, which is what is the quote unquote paradigm that you live in? And a paradigm is just a fancy word for your deepest belief about what the meaning of life is. And for me, my paradigm shifted from significance as a young American male to growth after my car accident at 26, which was sort of like my midlife crisis, and Kevin had a similar midlife crisis life or death situation with suicidal ideation, and he shifted his paradigm from certainty to growth, even though certainty is still, I think, maybe number one.
Kevin:Quarterlife crisis is what I call it, yeah quarterlife. Quarterlife crisis 26, strange year for both of us Very well explained my ultimate thought. My goal is based on the story. So when I left my job and I started doing this quote unquote full time, I had a lot more time on my hands. Obviously because there's nothing going on, because we were just two podcasters doing our thing.
Alan:I went back on my calendar, Kev.
Kevin:Sorry to interrupt you.
Alan:Christina and I the COO of the company. Christina is the glue. I just want to shout her out always because she makes everything behind the scenes happen and harmonize. So shout out to Christina.
Kevin:Thank you so much for all that you do and OG. We're talking 2018. Probably is when we first connected with 2009.
Alan:So JoJo is nine. He started listening. She started listening when I think he was like two, her son, jojo, youngest NLU listener to our awareness. Okay, so that's been a minute Wild, it's wild. So, anyways, christina and I were on Zoom. She's the COO of the company. We were trying to run the company better in 2024 than we did in 2023. I went back on my calendar all the way back to 2017. Dude, our calendars back then were empty.
Kevin:I wasn't doing anything. My calendar Not in 2017, not 2018.
Alan:None of that 2023 was hefty, 2022 was just as hefty, 2021, it started getting skimpier, 2020 was definitely noticeably different, and then 2019 and 2018 and 2017, I mean it drops off a cliff we just were not doing a lot.
Kevin:Wasn't a lot going on.
Alan:Wasn't a lot going on. Anyways, hopefully that's valuable for what you were trying to portray.
Kevin:Most likely not. I'd say probably not if I had to guess Okay, no, no, it is. This was when I was really in again, thanks to Alan building habits. I had habits, but I had never intentionally said I want to get better at this. I'm going to do this every single day. So when I was one of the most on point times in my life, I felt like I was crushing it.
Kevin:But I was getting up early, I would have a little pre-workout meal, I would have my pre-workout shake, I would do 30 minutes of mobility while listening to a book, audio book, watching a physical therapy YouTube video, whatever it is, and I would journal. That was my morning routine every day. And when I would journal, one of the things I would do and this is after I had determined my most important thing was certainty. The thing that would make or break my day, that would make or break my mood, that affected my mental health, that affected everything my ability to look into the future not predict the future, but look, imagine that I'm still gonna be doing this in a few years was certainty. I would wake up and when I was journaling, one of the questions I would ask myself is, on a scale of one to 10, how much certainty do you have? And if it was below five, it was noticeably different in my mood, in my inspiration, in my motivation, all of that just in my belief of how successful we were or were not going to be. I would say that the six questions that will help you understand yourself so much better, technically probably seven questions which one is the most important to you and Alan, I'm sure you can freestyle off of that but then ask yourself, on a scale of one to 10, how much certainty do I have, how much variety do I have? How much growth do I have? Contribution, significance, love, how much of those do I have in my life? Then, when it gets to the point where you understand the one that's most important to you, maybe you'll know why you feel a certain.
Kevin:I am somebody who I'm still very certainty driven, less than ever, I would say, but still I do like certainty. My chair, I know my chair just did it. I try to play it off. Look, I don't know what's going on with my chair because I fixed it. Quote, unquote, but it's still Jeff and me. I'm gonna have to flip it over and unscrew it and stuff. I don't know what the issue is.
Alan:You're gonna write a very, very negative email to the manufacturer.
Kevin:I'm so frustrated because I am a huge fan of this chair. I just don't know what's going on. So, yeah, I would say it's probably seven questions. What's the most important? And then, on a scale of one to 10, how well is each of these human needs being met?
Alan:Yeah, you have to meet all six If you want a holistic, fulfilling life and if you think about health, wealth and love and the way that we run this podcast, harmonizing all three of those, it really does. It's supposed to be designed to meet all six of your needs, really. But to Kevin's point, we all have one really really, really big one and honestly I'm not convinced you can really shift it without a lot of pain and trauma. So my car accident was a really really negative, challenging experience. Obviously I physically was okay, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually it really messed me up and I remember the next few years were very, very, very challenging. Kept, getting pulled over, driving was hard for me. All my relationships, all kind of stuff had to shift. Quit drinking kept failing, kept drinking, quit drinking, kept failing the whole nine and it made me really talk back. My problems hit me. Through all of that challenge, I think that I was able to shift from significance to growth and now I think that all of us should identify what the number one is. So, kev, zero to ten, which one is your ten On those certainty? Okay, so Kev's is ten out of ten, certainty. He's ten out of ten, certain that it's certainty. I am certain that it's growth, and I would say a close second for me would be love. Now, when Emilia and I are not good, I don't care about growth anymore at all, as a matter of fact, and I think in some ways I tie my growth to her growth and that kind of thing. But so for the listeners, which one's your big one, which one's your ten out of ten, the most important? And then the next question is and this is a deeper layer what is the thing that is most tied to it? So I'm going to give an example. We have a listener and team member listener long ago and team member now who I think her number one. And this is what I'm doing in coaching I'm trying to figure out what's the number one motivator, what's the number one need, what matters to this person most? So, for example, kevin's number one love language is money, aka certainty. So Kevin's biggest source of uncertainty is money, and so when we make more money he has more certainty and then he can think longer term and his needs are met. So I use that as a motivator, not use it in a negative way, but to lead Kev as long as he's certain that we're going to be making more money and abundant. Now he is more likely to stay motivated, if that makes sense.
Alan:Okay, so this other person who I coach her number one is love. She's very family oriented, she's got two children, she's been married for 13 years. It's very clear to me that love is number one. Growth is a very close number two, which is good, but love is number one. So what I had to figure out, though, is what does she correlate her self-esteem to? Because self-love is also important, and her self-esteem is very tied to physical fitness, and so if we could dial in physical fitness, she would have more self-love, and then her family would prosper, and she would prosper, and then she would grow and contribute, and so, essentially, what we want to do on this episode for every listener is number one what's the number one of the six? What's the most important? And then number two what's the most important leverage point or lever to pull in order to get that need met? In other words, this person, when she's physically fit, she overcomes body shame, she is becoming more attractive, and she associates that with self-love and being loved by her husband and her family, and then everything proliferates from there. Everything gets better, she grows, and so that's kind of what I'm doing in coaching is I figure out what's the number one love language, what's the number one bottleneck to whether or not this person's needs are being met? And I'll use Emilia as an example too Her number one is growth, by far.
Alan:So last night we were doing finances it's Sunday night and we're both in front of spreadsheets and you would think she was in Disneyland. Man, it was unbelievable. I was like this is it? She's like this is 10 out of 10 for me. I'm like okay, we can do this all the time. That's totally fine, right? She just didn't know. It's not a normal love language, right? If you want to be in spreadsheets, we can rock and roll. I'm in spreadsheets all the time. But now I'm starting to understand. If you want to motivate and lead people, you have to understand these needs and you have to understand the love languages that co-with them. But if you want to lead yourself which is what this episode's about you have to understand yourself, and that's really what we're doing.
Kevin:Just so I can connect, because I know somebody might hear love languages in here. How are they connecting to the love languages?
Alan:So for you, I think, money is a love language. Okay, and if that makes sense, money brings you certainty. And so if, what would be a good example? If I were to just gift you money, it would mean the world to you, I'm happy. Yeah, yeah, and so I probably made it a little more complicated than it should have been. From a leadership perspective, it's important to understand what's the need in the love languages, usually meeting that need. Okay, but I complicated it right now let's talk about self leadership instead. Of.
Kevin:I just wanted to make sure because I know when we hear love languages we think the five love languages and then maybe things. I just I wanted to make sure, whether you're watching or listening, you can connect it to the overall point.
Alan:If anyone does want, we have the 25 conscious love languages at the conscious couples podcast. You can email me, alan, at nextleveluniversecom. I had someone email me last week for that and it's growth is one of the love languages. Money is one of the love languages. Fitness is one of the love languages. Fitness is a love language for you, for sure, but that also makes you certain when you're not working out, man, you're definitely less certain. I've noticed that for sure.
Kevin:Yeah yeah, it's just a self awareness thing at the end of the day, it just really when I started doing this. I don't really do this anymore. Again, things have changed a lot and my morning routine has been all over the place lately, but I remember I would sit down and I would just feel scared probably the best way to put it Because we were again. This was early in business, there was no money going on, I was struggling, I was riding the struggle bus, I was terrified and I connected the worst. I feel.
Kevin:Usually there was a direct correlation to the level of longterm certainty I had, even short term, not even longterm, but that allowed me at least to understand it wasn't. Why do I feel so terrible? Why do I not want to do anything? Why do I feel? Why is the weight so heavy today on my shoulders and life? Why do I feel so hopeless?
Kevin:It was the fact that I was super, super uncertain. Now even we had a conversation today about money and certainty. We would never have been able to have that conversation if that wasn't a practice that was going on six years ago. So that would be my next level nugget, if you could add this to a journaling morning routine nighttime routine thing. Or you ask yourself, on a scale of one to 10, how much do I have of the one thing I value the most? Because if you don't have any of the thing you value the most, you're most likely gonna be riding the struggle bus and it's just a good thing to be aware of. So then you can put the things in place to overcome that or sure up that weakness.
Alan:Yeah it comes down to, you're gonna be an empty cup If you don't have a consistent stream, for lack of better phrasing, of whatever your number one of those six are. You're definitely gonna ride the struggle bus and it's really really, really important to stay humble about that for sure. Again, to recap certainty, variety, significance, love, growth and contribution. And so, for the listeners, if growth is high for you, this podcast probably is something you really really adore and you don't like to miss. You need that fix. You need that fix of growth every day, because otherwise you just don't feel fulfilled. So I think that ultimately, underneath all this is fulfillment.
Alan:One last little example is Emilia craves variety a lot more than I do, and so if we aren't so during the winter months, when we're traveling less and we're playing less sports and we're outside in nature less and we do less adventures, it really is less fulfilling for her, Whereas I'm pretty much the same. It doesn't. Winter doesn't bother me. If anything, I kind of like it because I like being inside, but I know that that's unfulfilling for her and I know that will resonate with a lot of our listeners. So just try to understand if variety is your number one, you gotta focus on it, Thank you. If growth is your number one, you got to focus on it. If certainty is your number one and money's tied to that, you got to make sure money's coming in, and that's just really important. It's great self-awareness, yeah.
Kevin:We used to be the hyper-conscious podcast back in the day. Oh yeah, that was the goal self-awareness Forever, all day, every day.
Alan:Hyper-conscious.
Kevin:Yeah, do you remember the intro?
Alan:Change the way you think, change the way you act, change the way you live.
Kevin:I don't remember the. I remember that, but I don't remember the actual intro.
Alan:Welcome back to another very special episode of the hyper-conscious podcast.
Kevin:I remember that. I remember that. What are you talking about? Like the intro-intro, the branded intro with the.
Alan:Oh yeah, that was a jam. That was a jam, that was good.
Kevin:All right, if you have not yet joined our private Facebook group, next Level Nation, please do so, for every time my chair gives out and almost throws me into a cyclone of mayhem. I need someone to come join Next Level Nation and eventually I will fix the chair Again. It's a really good group of people. That is, I think, what we're all longing for. Love is on here, love you might not think of. Well, facebook group is going to bring me love, but it's you fitting in with people who actually value what you value and you can be yourself. You can be authentically you. It is community. We all want a deeper community and that is exactly why we created Next Level Nation. Link will be in the show notes. We would love to have you there if you are.
Alan:Next Level, live 2024 is coming up March 23rd. It's going to be in person and virtual. So we're going to have in person tickets only 30 individuals, small three groups of 10 breakout sessions and then we're also going to have a virtual component that Christina is going to be leading and running. The virtual will be $47 per ticket. The in person will be $97 per ticket. We do not have the landing page done or completely done yet, but keep that in mind. March 23rd it is not going to be starting super early. So we've done this how many times now?
Kevin:This will be our event every year for. Yeah, this will be the third next five years.
Alan:Okay, third next level live, but we've done an event, I'm pretty sure, every year for the last six years, if you include the very first one, so we're getting better at this. It's really, really good, and there's something about meeting the team. A lot of the team is going to be there. Kevin and I are going to be there and meeting other listeners in person. It will be an unforgettable experience. And then again there's the virtual component. So if you do want to be a part of this, you need to email me now, please, alan, at nextleveluniversecom. I'm going to put you on a list and we're going to make sure that you're the first to get your tickets. We are literally not selling more than 30 in person tickets, so please reach out to me now, as soon as possible. And is there anything I'm missing? Yeah, it's small and intimate.
Kevin:I'll be there rocking the acoustic guitar. Maybe I'll play Wonderwall, and maybe you know what I mean Something like that, just acoustic. We don't know. We don't have all the details, because if we have it at a certain place, there will be really really nice meals included. We're just not exactly sure on the exact location yet, but more info to come, but I don't think you missed anything.
Alan:When we do, lock down the location specifically. We're going to have a lot more information for you. The website will be done. We're not doing it early, early, early in the morning, I believe. It's going from 10 am to 4.30 pm, so it's kind of like a midday event, one full day, all things NLU. We hope you come meet the community, meet the team, join us and have an unforgettable experience. We only do this once a year, so please do not miss out on this. We only do this once per year.
Kevin:Maybe we'll well, we'll talk about it. I was going to say maybe we could do some sort of giveaway. Someone comes hangs out with us at the Airbnb. After, with the team, we'll see, we'll figure something out. But yes, we would love to see you.
Kevin:If you're local or you want to travel, it's a great excuse to travel to come see your NLU family Tomorrow for episode number 1,578,. Do you actually just trust people too much? I remember this is something we used to get often when we would. I know we used to do episodes on DMs that we got from listeners and I remember one of the episodes we did was based on someone saying yeah, you know, I just trust people too much, and I wanted to approach that with a different perspective for tomorrow's episode. So if you resonate with that, if you feel like maybe you trust people too much or you just don't trust people at all, tune in for tomorrow's episode, because I'm sure there will be a lesson in it for all of us. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we do not have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.
Alan:Make sure you're meeting your most important need. Next one nation.
