Next Level University

#1584 - Nobody Knows What The Hell They're Doing

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Have you ever felt like you're just winging it in life? Navigating through life can often feel like an improvisational act, especially when faced with the inevitable uncertainty of personal and professional growth. In this episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros delve into the paradoxical experience of figuring it out while simultaneously becoming experts in their respective fields. It’s an invitation to laugh at life's uncertainties and embrace the chaos of personal growth. It's a candid discussion about finding your path without a map, balancing authenticity with the pursuit of self-improvement, and, ultimately, the art of winging it through life and learning.

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Show notes:
(2:41) Knowing and not knowing in life
(5:34) An example from High School
(6:17) How much are you learning
(10:53) Struggles with comparison
(13:57) Alex highlights how Next Level Business Solutions helped him optimize his time for maximum productivity.
(15:19) Continuous improvement
(19:07) Winging it through life and learning
(24:40) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin:

Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed our previous episode. Yesterday's episode Number 1583 is the thing you're running from, the thing you need the most. Today. For episode number 1584, nobody knows what the hell they're doing. I Saw an interview one of Tara and I's favorite shows was shits Creek. Funny, funny, funny, funny show, really funny. You know that the dad we were talking about American pie the other day. You know the dad, american pie, mm-hmm, his.

Alan:

Eugene levy his son.

Kevin:

Dan levy is a direct. I don't know if he's a director. He's an actor very funny. So they're in this together. The mom from home alone Is in it as well, and then somebody else I cannot remember her name. She's super funny, everybody in it is super funny.

Kevin:

The show was like a super surprise hit. Shits Creek was like a massive show. I think it won a bunch of awards and Dan levy was interviewed and they were talking about how you've won so many Awards and what's that like, and he said look, nobody really knows what the hell they're doing. He said we showed up every day and we did the best we could and we had some ideas and we followed through with them, but nobody really knew if it was gonna work or not. I don't know if anybody ever really does.

Kevin:

I Was having a conversation Well, not really a conversation. Somebody messaged me today and it's someone on the team and they said you know, people have been telling me for a long time I should have a podcast, because what I talk about I'm super passionate about talking about, but I just I don't know. I don't know where to start and I feel like I don't. I don't know what to do and we're gonna hop on a call and I'm gonna take care of this person, and I sent them a message and I said this whole thing is a balancing act of knowing the most you ever have, while also knowing the least you ever will again. So when I say nobody knows what the hell they're doing, think of this right now you know the most you ever have, most likely unless you forgot a lot of stuff. But let's just say that's not the case.

Kevin:

You know the most you ever have most likely, can most like yeah, but at the at the same time, you also know the least you ever will again, because you're gonna learn something tomorrow that's gonna boost you up over the top. I and this is the other thing, alan and I don't mean this in a negative way, but I've had the opportunity to talk to so many people behind the scenes that are either business owners, podcasters, coaches, people who look like they're doing really well on social media, mm-hmm and again, this is not a judgment. This has just been very, very empowering. When I talk to them, most of them don't know what the heck they're doing at all. They have no clue what they're doing, but they do know what they're doing in their business or in their niche or in there, whatever it is, more than I do, because that's their thing, you know, but it's, but they're gonna know more about that forever.

Kevin:

So it really is this, this juggling act of you. Right now, you know the most you ever have, but you also know the least you ever will. Right now, you're the smartest you've ever been, but you also have the most opportunity for growth. It's this weird, weird, weird thing, and I wanted to do a hyper conscious episode on it. Do I know what's gonna happen? Definitely not. Is it gonna be a seven-minute episode? Very well could be, but let's see where it takes us.

Alan:

There's that. I don't know if it's soccer, geezer, aristotle or whatever, but you see, I know that I know nothing, and we've all heard it. And here's the thing yes and no. So again, this is gonna be very hyper conscious. I know more than I did it 30 but less than I'm gonna at 40. And and I do this all the time, I always will for the rest of my life I'm gonna do this. Think of something really dumb you did in high school.

Kevin:

Just give me one Something really dumb that you did in high school, didn't do any never didn't didn't do.

Alan:

Kev didn't do anything. Dumb as an angel. Remember when we talked about four locos back when those were before they were banned? Yeah, yeah, just think of a dumb thing you did in high school Everybody. Please, not hard to come up with them. Give us one, kev.

Kevin:

Oh man, I, when I was in high school I didn't have my license at the time and Somebody a friend of mine and I went out and we were egging houses not very nice and we were driving down the street. No, I was driving the car and how I, like I, I got out of the V, I ghost, I ghost rode the whip. It was literally going down the street with nobody in it. It was, I Was 17 years old and I had no idea what I was doing. I was very reckless. I was a very reckless individual.

Alan:

So, yes, oh, I'm not we laugh about it.

Kevin:

I'm not proud of any of that. It was not yeah. Yeah, obviously it was not a very intelligent thing. Things could have gone much worse than they did well, that's the thing right.

Alan:

So Kev would never do that again.

Kevin:

No, way hey.

Alan:

I'm gonna go egg houses and ghost ride the whip. Yeah, I'd be like what man?

Kevin:

What exactly are we gonna do? It was wild times.

Alan:

So the thing that's interesting about this is and and the concept of this episode is is no one really knows what they're doing. But it's a duality. You know what you're doing in a couple areas really well Compared to others, and I think that that's really what I want to do. I talked about this in the last episode. Apples to apples so important for self-worth. Okay, maybe this is you, maybe it's not, but I think our listeners, statistically speaking, do tend to struggle with self-worth. I Myself as well. Apples to apples is one of the reasons. The comparisons aren't fair. The comparisons aren't fair. So you do know a lot in Certain areas compared to others. But here's the problem. If you think everyone else has it figured out and you're the only one who doesn't, and you don't happen to Coach hundreds of individuals all over the world like Kevin and I, then you won't really understand that pretty much everyone is just doing their best and Some of them are bettering their best, but for the most part, they're just as scared, just as anxious, just as Disconnected, just as confused, just as lost as you. Now. I Often say things like like I was emotionally immature growing up and I'll say that statement and it's true, compared to me now. I Don't think I was more emotionally immature than other American males that are 16. I'm certain I wasn't more emotionally immature than kev after that story Although I might have been honestly I don't know. But the point is is that it's just very, very important to understand this duality. You will never, ever, ever have it all figured out no one does but Despite that inevitable truth, that will always be true you can get better and you can get smarter, and you are better and smarter, most likely, than you used to be. The question is not Going to be whether you know it all because you never will, or whether you know nothing because you never will. You do know a lot. The question is how much are you learning? It's almost like we're we're measuring the wrong stuff. I was emotionally immature. I was. Kevin very clearly was Okay, but what matters is to become more emotionally mature over time, and at what rate, and I think that if we can just focus on that, everyone's doing their best. Quote unquote Giving all they have with all they've got every day.

Alan:

The thing that I find hard for myself, looking at my own past I'll call myself out here I wasn't bettering my best. There was a time in my life where I wasn't getting better. It was a short time, but I was miserable. I was unfulfilled and, ironically, I was pretending to be the most happy, most fulfilled, most confident version of myself and if you saw me from the outside in you would have thought I was so confident and you probably would have thought I had it all figured out. But I didn't. I was deeply unfulfilled and deeply insecure. I was letting myself down in every area that matters to me and I was compensating with ego. It was a short time, but it was a dark time and, quite frankly, a lot of people are there.

Alan:

And so no more comparing to social media, no more comparing to the outside in, no more comparing. What you really want to do is sit down and say, okay, where have I been comparing unfairly? Where have I was on the phone recently with a client who struggles with self worth and the physique that she wants to achieve? That other person is on drugs. They're on steroids, I'm certain of it. I'm certain of it. I said stop comparing your natural physique to someone else on steroids. That's just a bad idea. The problem is most people aren't honest when they're using steroids. Most people aren't honest when they're using drugs, most people aren't honest. When they're inheriting the money, most people are not honest, unfortunately. Maybe it's a privacy thing, maybe it's not of anyone else's business. I get it Okay, I understand, but stop comparing your reality to someone else's perception and, most importantly, try your best to live from the inside out instead of the outside in. When I was the most miserable, I was living from the outside in instead of the inside out.

Kevin:

When I struggle with comparison, I think it's a little bit different. I struggle comparing what I know to what I think I should know, Not necessarily what I know versus what somebody else knows. That's been and maybe whether you're watching or listening, that'll resonate with you. It's always been that way for me.

Alan:

What do you think you should know?

Kevin:

Everything, everything about the stuff that I'm supposed to know. I feel like I'm supposed to know everything about podcasting, whatever. Everything means I don't even know, but everything.

Alan:

That's no good.

Kevin:

Oh no, it's not ideal. It's not ideal. I don't really think about other people when I think about that, I think more. So we used to do live podcasts every week. It started off as meetups on Zoom in the middle of the pandemic and eventually went to-.

Alan:

Way way back.

Kevin:

It was masterminds right, masterminds meetups. And then it was lives on the Facebook group. Yeah, there was several iterations and you and I after would meet with the team and they'd give us feedback. And usually I would get good feedback because the team was very kind to me and you were super improvement oriented, so they'd usually give you some constructive feedback. You could do this. You could do this.

Alan:

And the thing that was always those were brutal.

Kevin:

for me, those were yeah, well, I know those were always pretty easy for me. I'm grateful for them, but in a different way. Oftentimes I would get yeah, Kev, you did a really good job. This was awesome. You did blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I would try to tell the team this Thank you, I appreciate that. That's very kind and I'll take that and use it constructively. But I don't really care what you think. I care more about what I feel you can think I did a 10 out of 10. In my mind I wasn't a 10 out of 10. In my mind it wasn't as good as it could have been, or I used more filler words than I could have.

Kevin:

I'm comparing my capabilities to what I think I should be capable of, now more than ever, and that was not always the case In the beginning. When we started this podcast, it was I'm comparing to everybody else who's podcasters? Usually the people who are way ahead, and it hurts, it's not fun. But there's two.

Kevin:

I mean you can't just compare to people who are behind you. You can't just compare to people who are ahead of you. You have to compare to where people are in comparison to you. Where were they when they started? And even that Talon's point. You don't really know where they actually were behind the scenes. But just as a tangent, I find that I find it harder for me to compare myself to what I think I should know versus what I actually know, Because the truth of the matter is I don't know what anybody else knows and I don't really know how quote unquote successful other people are. I don't know what their relationships are really like, I don't know what their bodies are really like, but I do know what mine is and I do know what my relationship is and what our business is and listens and all that. So maybe a tangent for the audience.

Alan:

Yeah, there's so many places we can go with this. The first thing I wanna share is everyone does compare to those around them, unconsciously. It's human nature, it's part of being a tribal species. So you are gonna compare to people around you, whether you like it or not. If you're in a bathing suit with a bunch of other people, you're gonna look around and you're gonna say am I or am I not in shape? In comparison, you are your own worst critic. Everyone is. You're thinking about you more than other people are thinking about you. It's just human nature. If you have a pimple on your face, no one else notices, but you care deeply. That's just kind of the way human nature works. So you just gotta kind of fight back against that and I guess what I would say is learning, growing, improving.

Alan:

Kevin and I joke behind the scenes because sometimes we'll talk about challenges we're having in our relationship and not bad ones, not he and I's relationship, but our intimate relationship. So like we'll joke about Humble Pie that I got or him you know just egghead moves that sometimes dudes make and I'll say and what's the solution? And he'll be like same every time get better. I mean, what's the alternative? Emilia and Taryn's feedback. His wife's name's Taryn Emilia is my girlfriend, future wife. Whenever I say future wife, people are like are you engaged? It's like no, no, I'm very future oriented.

Kevin:

Yes, we are in the future.

Alan:

Yeah, in the future we are. They always say congratulations and I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Well, thank you, but I just call her my future wife because she's my everything. But anyways, it's not like they're wrong about their feedback. What are we gonna do? Incorrect? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I don't think so no, right, not really.

Alan:

Yeah, and I think unfortunately some guys do that and they end up divorced and or miserable. But at the end of the day we're being playful here and the answer is always just get better If that's what your goals require. Right, if we wanna have the best marriage, best relationship we can, we have to go get better and we have to take that feedback. And then there's certain things that maybe you don't wanna get better. I remember one time I jokingly with Emilia, we were like what do we have to give up? And we gave up together in the beginning of our relationship. Or like two months in, and I'm like let's give up fast food, dude, two months in, I'm at Doug's right and we're on the phone and she's like is Doug in Doug's fast food? And I'm like, nope, not to me. No, I basically eventually said sweetheart.

Alan:

I don't wanna do this? I don't wanna. It's convenient, I need my calories. It's right next to the gym. Like I'm doing it. I'm not getting done. So like nope, call me Like I'm done with this whole quitting fast food thing.

Alan:

But anyways, my point is this you're never gonna know it all. You're never gonna know nothing. Life is a dance between those two extremes. And are you getting better and doing all you can with all you have? As esoteric and fortune cookie as that sounds, that is the game. That is it.

Alan:

Self-awareness, others' awareness, world awareness. How much do you know about yourself? How much do you know about how the human condition works? How much do you know about the world, how it works and why it works that way? And are you capable of getting better towards your goals and dreams? And that's what this podcast is about, that's what every conversation we have is about. And so you don't know as much as you're gonna know in a year, but you know way more than you used to, and that's always gonna be the case, 10 years from now, 15 years from now, 25 years from now. It's gonna be the case forever. And I coach everyone, from an 18-year-old to a 63-year-old, that I'm telling you they don't have it all figured out, but they have some things figured out, you know, and that's just the way it works.

Kevin:

I this would be my next level nugget. If I had to choose between Thinking I know everything I need to know and thinking I know nothing of what I need to know, I would probably yeah, I would choose the second one. I would choose thinking I know nothing of what I need to know because I think that's more constructive, at least for me. Again, there's a lot of layers self-worth and self-belief and you don't wanna beat yourself up for your entire life. So it doesn't have to be that way. We don't have to choose that. But some days I feel like I have a lot of things figured out and then, when we'll get to the end of the year and I'll look back and say, wow, I had no idea what I was doing at the beginning. Not a freaking clue. Did I compare to other people? Sure, maybe, but that doesn't really matter. I can't compare to that. I have to compare to what I knew. I know so much more today than I did 365 days ago. Awesome, that's great. 365 days from today, I'm probably gonna say the same thing and that's good, that's a successful year. When that stops, that probably means I'm not growing anymore, and I think that's a very dangerous place to live. So if you get to the end of the year and you say, wow, I'm a different version than the person I was at the beginning of the year, I think that's awesome, because that means at the beginning of the year you didn't know what the hell you were doing it. Also, 365 days from today, you can say the same stuff. It doesn't mean you didn't know what you were doing really, but it just means that there's always gonna be so much room for growth.

Kevin:

And then, just a second, when Alan said I've never met someone who doesn't have a massive level of uncertainty in something, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. Most people have massive levels of uncertainty in many things. So I know people. They might make it look easy, they might make it look like they're not nervous, they might make it look like things just work out, and they always do. I'm telling you that it's not the case internally and it just it usually doesn't go that way. So don't beat yourself up based on the results that you don't have compared to the results that other people pretend to have, Because that's gonna be a losing game for life. And I'll say this the results you don't have yet, just because you don't have them yet doesn't mean you can't get them.

Alan:

Yeah, on the surface, everything looks easier than it really is From the outside in, everything looks easier than it really is Behind the scenes and inside of someone. They are struggling, just like you, maybe just with different things or in different amounts, but that's struggle is a forever and I think that despite that, we can create magnificent lives. Very last thing this is an analogy. I try it all the time I don't know if it'll ever land. I'm a computer engineer so I tend to like these analogies.

Alan:

My iOS I just opened my settings automatic update software update. It says this update provides important bug fixes and is recommended for all users. For more information blah, blah, blah. Ios 17.2.1. If you were graduating high school in 2007, you would know that that was the first year the iPhone came out. When we graduated high school and many of my friends got the iPhone when we were seniors in high school, and the very first iPhone, in comparison to this iPhone, would be an absolute piece of junk and garbage. But back then it was a revolutionary, world-changing breakthrough. And so the point is is that this iPhone is not as good as it's gonna be, but it's way better than it used to be, same with every one of us and the software updates. Each one of our episodes at NLU is supposed to be a little software update. Little new awareness, little new capability, little new skill, little new way to think, little new perspective, little new whatever.

Alan:

So I'm gonna update this. It actually says update now. So I'm gonna update this. Hit update now, put in my little password and then my iPhone will get better. And hopefully that's what we're doing with all listeners every single day a little bit better, a little bit better, a little bit better.

Kevin:

And we are definitely doing that behind the scenes Make sure that we can add value, hopefully, on these microphones For sure. That's the goal.

Alan:

I like to be funny.

Kevin:

I like to be funny, but I want to add value.

Alan:

You gotta be both.

Kevin:

Here. A last thing too Alan and I, right after this, we're actually gonna record a new intro and a new trailer. I don't know what we're gonna have time to do. We're recording new stuff. I am a podcast coach who has coached hundreds and hundreds of people, and our podcast production company has produced thousands like probably 4,000, 5,000 episodes at this point and we're still out here, jeff, in our own podcast.

Alan:

okay, so there's always gonna be room for growth and improvement, and it is.

Kevin:

It's the juggling act of beating yourself up to the amount necessary that's constructive, and giving yourself grace to the amount that's constructive. You're not gonna be able to do it all in one day. You're not gonna figure it all out in one day, but it doesn't mean you can't get a little bit better every day. If you are looking for a group of like-minded humans, please join our private Facebook group, Next Level Nation. I know a lot of people are in a lot of Facebook groups, but hopefully this can be the most positive one. This can be the one where you find your peak performance partner. It can be the one where you can be the most authentic version of yourself. If that is what you got out of joining our Facebook group, that would be a giant win for us, because that's what we're aspiring to. So Link will be in the show notes, as always.

Alan:

We'd love to see you there this episode brought to you by iOS Update 17.2.1. No, we just changed these show notes to Kevin's point to an updated version of this show, so check those out. If you haven't, please check them out. All our contact info's in there. More importantly, if you've never seen our website, nlu is much more than just a podcast. We have a lot of other stuff. I hope you check out the website and if you have any questions, email me or Kevin Allen at nextleveluniversecom. Kevin at nextleveluniversecom the person who has nextleveluniversitycom is asking for way too much money, so we decided to make it a universe instead of just a university.

Kevin:

It was the right choice. Oh, yeah, definitely, hopefully Tomorrow, for episode number 1,585. Is your regret Real? We often talk about reverse engineering regret, avoiding regret, learning from regret. We're gonna do an episode on regret tomorrow because we haven't done it in a hot minute. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we do not have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan:

Talk to you soon. Next level mission yeah.

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Alan Lazaros

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Kevin Palmieri

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