Next Level University

#1588 - How Do You Make Your Decisions?

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Prepare to unlock the secrets of your decision-making prowess as we explore the harmonious interplay of heart and mind. We've all wrestled with choices, teetering between emotional impulses and the sturdy scales of logic. In this episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros recount their evolution from a whirlwind of feelings to a strategist harnessing the power of reason. They reveal how each of us can foster richer personal connections and achieve professional triumph by blending the warmth of emotional intelligence with the precision of logical thinking and discover how to fine-tune our inner decision-making maestro, ensuring every choice resonates with our core values.

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Show notes:
(1:27) Emotional or logical thinker
(4:31) Positive and positive
(5:03) Righty and lefty
(8:50) Alex highlights how Next Level Business Solutions helped him optimize his time for maximum productivity.
(9:42) Logic and decision-making paradigms
(13:45) What are your core values
(18:00) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin:

Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed our latest episode, episode number 1587, one of the biggest things holding us back from great. Today. For episode number one thousand five hundred eighty eight, we're gonna hit you with a quick one how do you make your decisions? I Was talking to somebody recently I don't remember where it was, but we were talking about making decisions and they said have you always made decisions the way you make decisions today? And I said absolutely no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Kevin:

For most of my life, I have been a very emotional decision maker. I remember you and I were in the studio one time, alan and we were having a conversation and this was the first time we had ever connected this. I Would often say that I feel, I feel like. I feel like you know, I really feel like, and you would always say I think, I really think when I think about it. And we got to the point where I remember us having a conversation around the fact that I made most of my decisions based on emotion.

Kevin:

You made most of your decisions based on logic. So that's really what I want to talk about today in this quick episode. How do you make your decisions? Are you making decisions emotionally or are you making decisions logically? There is an upside of both. There is a downside of both. The upside of making decisions Emotionally is you'll most likely please a lot of the people in your life yeah, a lot of the people in your life in your life, the downside is it's very hard to do something consistently for a long period of time.

Kevin:

Little laugh, break, lock it up. I'm trying lock it up, you good it's locked.

Alan:

Consider it locked.

Kevin:

So where was I? Oh oh. If you make emotional decisions, you'll probably feel really good about what you're doing and the people around you in your lives Will probably be very happy. If you make logical decisions, you're probably gonna be pretty successful, but you're probably gonna piss off a lot of people. Yeah, you make logical decisions. That's when people's feelings get hurt, because you're making decisions based on logic and not emotion. The other potential downside we broke out laughing when I was saying this before. But one of the reasons I think it's so hard to Stay consistent is because when you're an emotional decision maker, when you're maybe an emotional thinker On the day-to-day, there is no reason to do it Emotionally it feels bad and it kind of sucks and it doesn't feel like we're making progress anyway.

Kevin:

Logically in your mind and you could speak to this way better than I but logically it's like well, this is the only way to succeed anyway, and this is just what we have to do, regardless of feeling or whatever it is. I don't want to make either of these wrong. I don't want to say either of these is Putting you in trouble. I just want to talk about the potential upsides and downsides of both and here's really what Landed for me.

Kevin:

When I had that conversation with that person, I said I am way more of a logical thinker than I've ever been, but I started out as a very emotional thinker, as an emotional decision-maker, which I think really really helps me with people. So I try to leverage the positive of being an emotional decision-maker with the positive of being a logical decision-maker and try to get rid of as many of the negatives as possible.

Alan:

So if we were to look at the last Six, coming up on seven years working together, kevin and I he was pretty much more accurate than me almost every time when it came to other people and I was pretty much accurate Almost every time I'd say 90% of the time when it came to business or long-term strategy and so what, what we think here is or I think a good way to think about this is ready and lefty. So Kev was definitely more emotionally intelligent than I was and I was definitely more rational and logical and long-term strategic thinking and we've kind of driven to five and and he was always better at relationships and friendships and people like him, that kind of thing. I was always better at business and success and and that kind of thing, and we we both were decent at both. So it's not like we were terrible, but you know, I was much stronger than one than the other and what I've come to understand and there's so many ways you can slice this too it's like inner work. Are you better at inner work or are you better at understanding the economy and how it works and skills and corporate and that kind of thing? And so I Think of it as IQ and EQ. It's a simple way to think about it.

Alan:

Eq is emotional intelligence, emotional adaptability, emotional Do you understand your emotions? You know how you're feeling? Do you know why you're feeling that way? Do you understand what triggers you? Do you? Is it self-awareness? How well do you know yourself? Okay, that's the EQ side, and I didn't have a lot of that. Honestly, in hindsight, I think I was kind of poor in that regard, but I understood how the economy worked and I understood how business works and I had a good resume and I, you know, I kind of joke. It's like if you're high on the Logical and rational side, you probably have a LinkedIn. I Remember Kevin and I argued about this early on. I was like, dude, everyone has a LinkedIn. He was like, no, they don't. You know, if I had heard what are you talking about? That point, yeah.

Kevin:

Yeah, I would not have a LinkedIn if it wasn't for you and Mark Metry. Mark Metry made me get one.

Alan:

He's like dude, you need a little he forced you for getting a gym that day together, yeah, and so now I understand a lot of our community doesn't have LinkedIn, and that's okay. But emotionally driven people versus More logic, rationality, and so I used to, and I'll be playful with this, but when I go on other shows and I talk about my speaking career, for lack of better phrasing, I said I used to think I was a strong speaker, and I'm not saying that, putting myself down like I'm not a strong speaker. I am not nearly as strong of a speaker as I thought I used to be, for if I'm speaking to a group of engineers, I actually think I'm very good. I've come to realize because Kevin has knocked it out of the park and Connected with way more audiences, way better than I did, and I thought I was a stronger speaker than he was. And Then I started to realize all of the audiences love him and they don't like my speech, and I never understood why, because I thought mine was more valuable.

Alan:

I'm not, you know, and it turns out they're emotionally driven and I'm not connecting. I'm not connecting well. So at the end of the day, everyone is one of two types. Okay, you are either a Emotional being who also thinks, or you are a thinking being who also has emotions. I Am a thinking being who also has emotions. So if you resonate more with me, you most likely are on the more rational, strategic, long-term thinking chess player side. If you resonate more with Kev, which is more likely based on our community, you most likely make your decisions emotionally. And the cool part about this is because Kevin and I have worked together for so long. We've learned so much from each other, and Now we kind of know the strengths and weaknesses of both sides, so we can mitigate the weaknesses while amplifying the strengths. And so there's no right or wrong here. There's just right ear lefty, and the goal is to become more ambidextrous and more holistic.

Kevin:

There was a time, at one time I I remember this moment I.

Alan:

Mm-hmm.

Kevin:

It was a year I don't know what year, but in fact it was a year of time that has happened. Okay, I had bunk beds. For some reason, single, single, only child no reason have bunk beds had bunk beds. Don't know why. I think I wanted bunk beds. I thought they were cool. I got bunk beds. Awesome. I Was hanging out with a couple of my friends and we were waiting on a Mike Tyson boxing match and we were playing chess and I was running it. So I do some chess stuff too. Thank you Nice. Yeah, I Could probably take you maybe.

Alan:

No, not it, Jess. No, I'll take your roof and I'll take your horsey and I will. Call it a whore. The fact that you call it a horse.

Kevin:

Maybe I'm saying means probably not.

Alan:

Maybe I'm sandbagging you. You remember, yeah, maybe. Uh, you remember when you were playing guess who and you were okay, so I recommended a book. So a book was recommended to me, it's gonna make me look by a pasty member.

Kevin:

Shut it to Alessandro. I'm gonna make me look bad. What Alan's gonna say next is gonna make me look bad. No, but it was a breakthrough for me. That's not the goal. That's not the goal.

Alan:

The goal is never to make you look bad. The goal is to educate myself and others. All right so which a Alessandro right.

Kevin:

It's the most logical thing to say ever of all time. The way you just said it, it's the most logical. What is my goal is not to hurt your feelings, but it's to educate myself and others. That's basically like, logically, this is what makes the most sense.

Alan:

Yeah, that's my truth. All right, so that's why I'm doing this man.

Kevin:

We'll just tease him.

Alan:

Yeah, yeah, it's funny. So I Was recommended a book shut it to Alessandro pasty member called algorithms to live by, and and it's a computer scientists approach to making decisions, which is what this episode is about. And Kevin, I recommended said book to Kevin and he learned a lot. It was really cool because it's all based on constraint theory and chaos theory and decision-making paradigms. It's it's awesome. It's awesome book, but it's also really challenging book. As a computer engineer, I kind of already understood and studied all those concepts, game theory also. But a lot of people don't think that way. And so Kevin was like, dude, do you think like this? And I genuinely, from a genuine place, as arrogant as it might sounds, I was like, do you not? Because this was back in the early days when I didn't understand the differences. I did not get it. And and so, kev, what was your experience with algorithms to live by?

Kevin:

and what do you?

Alan:

recommend to.

Kevin:

it was what? Yeah, it was wild, it was. I don't remember exact. I've read so many books since then. I don't remember the things that stuck out, like the lessons or examples when they leather bound I just read, you know I just devour a book a day, so it's like I've just read so many since then I can barely even remember that one.

Alan:

Oh, I love it. I didn't mean it that way.

Kevin:

It just helped me understand that if you're looking at data, it's gonna help you make better decisions. And I was never looking at data. And Tara and I went for one of our date days. We went to a local brewery and breweries have card games and board games. And she's like when's the last time you played Guess who? And I said I don't know years, maybe ever. I don't know if I've ever played Guess who.

Kevin:

And when we started playing Guess who, I was like oh my goodness, I can use some logic here. Let me count how many are men, how many are women? All right, well, it's different. There's like 60, 40. All right, cool. So if I ask is your person a man, I'm already off to a head start because I'm gonna eliminate 60% of the people. Awesome, so I was just able to use logic versus just asking random questions. Now, I know that's a silly. Again, that's kind of a silly example, but that's a really good example of logic versus just emotionally saying I don't know, I don't know, is your person attractive? You think your person's attractive? Or versus saying logically. Let me break down the numbers. Okay, there's 20 people X amount, or this X amount, or that X amount or that. What are the highest likelihoods of me getting a good piece of information?

Alan:

Yeah, really good. I was on a coaching session with Emilia and Bianca recently and it's a business coaching session, essentially, and we were talking about a decision-making paradigm and I was trying to help them understand. So when Emilia and I got this house, we did a cost value analysis and a cost value analysis. It sounds intense, but it's really cool and it's really simple. Take your top three core values and then rate them from zero to 10. So maybe for me, legacy is 10, humility is eight and mastery is nine. Okay, that's where you make your decisions from. So when we bought this house, before we bought this house, she said what's important to you in a house? And I said, good, wifi close to the gym. That was it. That was as much as I had, and she had all this cool stuff. She had cathedral ceilings and skylights and it has to have a garage and, by the way, thank goodness, because I live in a shack or anything.

Alan:

You live in a gym. You live in a gym and when we do get another home because we're already dreaming about our next home I'm gonna have way more. I was pulling out of the garage in her Tesla recently and I said, well, you're gonna need a bigger garage. This garage is like tight, it's too tight, not big enough. We have a lot of crap. Honestly, we gotta get rid of some of our crap seriously. But anyways, the point is, is we need a bigger garage? I didn't even care about garage, but back then I love skylights. Now I get to see the stars every night. I'm spoiled these days, great.

Alan:

But anyways, she knew more about houses. She was in real estate. Her family owns a lot of real estate. She's been growing up around homes and understanding the difference between. You know Wayne's coding and all that stuff. I don't know For me, countertop, countertop, marble countertop, regular countertop, whatever.

Alan:

Like I know food, right, I know certain things really well. So anyways, my point is what is your decision-making paradigm? And a cost value analysis is what do you value? What are your core values? If you value family, you need to make your decisions based on that. Is this what's best for my family? If you value your career and you value money. You've got to make decisions based on that, and so there's a logic to all of this. But at the end of the day, if you are naturally emotionally driven, you probably can work on the logic, whereas I have to be the opposite. I'm working on emotional intelligence and I often joke. But if you want, I had dozens of coaches and mentors. What I really needed was a therapist. People who have therapists have had a therapist in his 20s. He actually needed coaches and mentors, and so what you want isn't always what you need, because we're already, are lefty, and we all have this tendency of wanting to stay good at what we're already good at.

Kevin:

And last thing before we go, because I know you have a coaching call here shortly. This goes to the episode of Are you running from what you need the most? I am the most logical I've ever been in terms of my decision making, but it wouldn't be the case if I didn't spend so much time without it, and in the beginning it can be heavy. That can be a heavy realization of like, do you always make your decisions like this? I remember we were in California for an event and I was like dude, we should just go get like a nice dinner tonight, just like to visualize what that would be like. You know we're on the West Coast, the Pacific Coast Highway, let's go to fancy dinner and you're like that's the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my life. Like why?

Alan:

don't we just get in an Elburger? That wasn't my, that wasn't my exact one. That was exactly the response, probably. Why don't we just get in an Elburger again? Instead, we ended up going to, we ended up going to that van on the side of the Pacific Coast Highway. Yeah, yeah, that was good. We got tacos, remember. That was the list.

Kevin:

We were getting ready for an episode, recording an episode with Dr Nicky Star in Malibu, and I'm on the side of the road eating some sort of burrito, sweating profusely, and I was like, oh my goodness, this can't be it. All right, that was beautiful. It was beautiful. I intend on going back there for sure. Shout out to anybody who lives in California near the Pacific Coast Highway I am truly envious of you. All right, we gotta go Tomorrow for episode number 1589,. Alan, I bumped this one up for you so you'll be happy. The two types of self-belief this is something that Alan and Bianca and Emilia were talking about, I believe, so we're gonna do an episode on that tomorrow.

Kevin:

As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and an NLU. We do not have fans, we have family. We'll talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan:

Stay ambidextrous. Thanks for watching.

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Alan Lazaros

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Kevin Palmieri

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