Next Level University

#1601 - Who Convinced You Asking For Help Is BAD?

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Have you ever been paralyzed by the fear of seeking help or worried that your query might met with a raised eyebrow? Navigating the complexities of human interaction, self-awareness, and personal growth is an ongoing journey. In this episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros's conversation took a deep dive into several critical areas paramount to personal and professional development. It's a candid look at the pitfalls of leaning too heavily on others, the art of asking effectively, confronting bullying, and why aligning with the right mentors can make all the difference.

Links mentioned:
Next Level Live - Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 (10:00 am to 4:30 pm) https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-live/
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700

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For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email.

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Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

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Show notes:
(1:56) The value of reaching out for help
(4:44) Aligned people in an aligned way, asking for aligned help
(6:01) Too much, too often to too many people?
(7:32) Does asking for help feel weak?
(10:18) Strength to speak your truth and the balance between empowerment and arrogance.
(12:02) Energetic positioning 
(17:15) Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching.
(19:16) Standing up against misinformation and ignorance
(22:56) The transformative power of self-awareness and distancing oneself from negative influences
(24:08) Fine line between what you tolerate and speaking up
(26:32) Strength to ask who, how, and the wisdom to know when
(28:23) Break that cycle
(36:36) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Speaker 1:

Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health, andrew, well, we hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode, episode number 1600. What 1600 episodes taught us about success? Today, for episode number 1601 who convinced you? Asking for help is bad?

Speaker 1:

Got an email the other day from a gentleman and I went on his podcast. Alan also went on his podcast. I did a podcast fan, huge fan, huge fan. I did a podcast breakthrough session with this person and Out of nowhere, I received an email and it said hey, kev, I hope you're doing well.

Speaker 1:

My friend, I just had a question for you. Do you have any opportunities for Audio editors? I'm looking to get my foot in the door. I want to figure out what that process looks like because it's something I really enjoy and I'd like to do it for other people. And I was so happy.

Speaker 1:

This person emailed. I Was over the moon happy and I don't know why. I couldn't figure out why and I sent. I Took me a few days to get back and I said that. In the response I said hey, no, we don't have anything right now. I appreciate you reaching out so very much. Let me send you a more in-depth audio of some ideas I have that maybe you can use to get your your foot in the door or or get this plane off the ground, for lack of better phrasing. And he messaged me back and said thanks so much for taking the time. And I wanted to message him and I might have. I think. I messaged him back and said thanks so much for asking the question. I'm always you can ask me any question anytime. I'm grateful you took the time out to ask me the question and I'm grateful for the way you did it. You didn't say hey, hey, you're on my podcast and as as Payback, I'd really appreciate if you gave me an opportunity.

Speaker 1:

It wasn't that. It was very humble, asking for help, and I told Alan this We've had mentors in the past that just always wanted to help us. There is super, super kind with helping us. Now, one reason, I think, is because they saw us grinding and they know Alan is a visionary and they Could tell these guys might be a little bit different, they're gonna grow and they might be successful and they can help me with my mission. So there's that's obviously a part of it, but I do think there was a part of it where they probably get asked for stuff all the time, but they don't get asked for stuff in an aligned way, often From people who are out there really earning it, trying to earn it. Literally. The gentleman said I'm trying to get my foot in the door. That really what that means is I don't know what I'm doing, but I I want to learn more and I'm humble enough to say that I just want to get my foot in the door. So I wanted to do an episode on this for that reason.

Speaker 1:

I Think a lot of us have been convinced asking for help is bad, because the person we asked for help Was in kind, or maybe we didn't ask for help in the right way. So that's my first thought and we'll riff on that here in a sec. My second thought is I wonder I don't know how to word this I used to be terrified to ask for help, but I loved when people asked me for help. I just wonder if there's something to that where I'm not sure if I'm asking for help where. Well, I was gonna say for you, you, you've always asked people for help, but you also really like when people ask you for help. So I don't know. I don't know if there's anything to that I was gonna say maybe the relationship you have with asking also dictates the relationship you have with receiving, but maybe that's another.

Speaker 1:

Maybe we'll riff off that as well, but I think it's a very valuable topic because I Love when people ask me for help. I love when aligned people, in an aligned way, ask me for aligned help. It makes my day. I love it. I absolutely love it, and now I can understand why, more than ever. I thought it'd be a valuable episode. I.

Speaker 2:

Told Kev, I didn't know where I was gonna go with this one. This topic is challenging for me because I even this is hard to share, but that's what we do at NLU I was always looking up and asking for help. I was like mister, I was what you'd refer to as a try hard. I was a try hard. I. Every opportunity, every mentor, I mean I looked constantly around me for advice for the next nugget. I remember emailing my best friend's dad growing up saying hey, do you think I should go out into corporate first before I get my MBA, or do you think I should do my MBA red at a school, because I'm afraid I won't go back Like just that's just one example, and again, I don't want to make this about me, but I want to make it about the drive to five in this concept.

Speaker 2:

Are you someone who asks for help too much and too often to too many people? That was me. That was me. When I say I had dozens of coaches and mentors, what I'm really saying is I was asking for help all the time, even from people who were not credible, not credible. And so I told Kev this is gonna be a hard episode for me because in hindsight I actually regret a lot of the guidance that I asked for. I didn't trust myself enough. I trusted other people over myself way too much, and I know some people are on that end. So if you look back at your life, rewatch the movie of your life. Whenever you rewatch a movie from a higher sense of awareness, you'll take more out of it. Think of a movie you saw when you were a kid and you rewatched it and it was either better or worse. Remember I tried watching Austin Powers again. I was like, eh Right, worse, I'm just higher awareness.

Speaker 1:

I still like it. But that all is. There's still some funnies. It's on the line. For me it's like okay, it's on, because I think it's because it's PG-13.

Speaker 2:

The tractor beam yes.

Speaker 1:

There's some funnies in there for sure, so I can mess with that.

Speaker 2:

But the point that I'm making is rewatch the movie of your life and which end are you on? The more and more Kevin and I work together, the more and more we realize that that's what we're helping people with Self-awareness of which end you're on? Kev probably didn't ask for help enough, probably was too scared to look weak, too scared to look dumb, didn't ask enough questions. I was the opposite. I was asking everyone everything all the time, and I shouldn't have listened to my guidance counselor who told me I shouldn't go to MIT. I shouldn't apply to MIT. Rather, I shouldn't have listened to my friend's dad about the MBA thing. He didn't know he doesn't have an MBA. He doesn't know. That's just the best guidance I could find.

Speaker 2:

Half the reason why I'm so grateful these days to be in a position that we're in. I mean, my favorite client this is nothing against any of my other clients is my youngest client, and the reason why is it just it's like oh my God, I was a mess when I was 18. I am so grateful that I get to pour into your life, your future. I mean, I was looking so desperately for guidance my whole life and I I mean, if I had you, kev, if I had me, if I had this podcast well, you'd be in trouble if you and I were together at 18, my friend, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2:

It might have been worse. Somehow, Kev didn't like me when I was 18.

Speaker 1:

Even if I did, we would have been I was a bit of a party or myself, I just never got invited to the parties so I would have to drink alone.

Speaker 2:

You don't get invited to the house of the guy you hate Me in some movies you do, and then there's a, there's a duel, and then you become.

Speaker 1:

Then you become buddies after that. Why couldn't that have happened?

Speaker 2:

Why couldn't?

Speaker 1:

that have happened.

Speaker 2:

But anyways, I was looking for a male role model, unconsciously didn't have a dad, didn't get along with my stepdad, was constantly looking for role models. You know I was asking teachers questions they don't know the answer to. So I knew this would be a hard one for me because, quite frankly, if you're on my end, you need to trust yourself. You need to stop asking for help and you need to trust your intuition and you need to trust that you have the answers more than other people. People know less than you think they know.

Speaker 2:

If you're on my end, if you're on my end, but of all the mentors, coaches, guides, people that I had teachers, educators, professors, I mean I used to just pick the brains of every human I've ever met. I've been the most curious person and I needed to understand every answer. Kevin, I'll ask him questions behind the scenes. He's like I don't know. It's a feeling, it's like thank you for the useless information playfully.

Speaker 2:

But if you're on my end, you're probably overdoing it and you probably are asking too many people for advice that they are not credible and do not have the credentials or the experience, most importantly, to actually guide you, and you need to trust yourself more. If you're on Kevin's end. There is no weakness in asking for help. But I will say this Apparently it is a credit hit and I never knew this until the last few years. Apparently, the person who is I used to say this quote, I used to say the person who's the most excited to be a student is the one who ends up the guide. And now I realize, when you are acting like a student, people see you as a student unconsciously.

Speaker 1:

That's fair.

Speaker 2:

And they think you're not the expert I was excited to. Kevin and I were at an event one time in Colorado and one of the guys in the audience is like dude, you should get up there. And I remember thinking to myself yeah, I appreciate you so much. Honestly, I am. I have been studying all of this more than the people in this room and I do know that, as arrogant as that might sound, but I always thought the only and, by the way, this is the duality.

Speaker 2:

Why do I know this material better than the people presenting it? Because I'm the one who's always in the students seat taking notes. And eventually you do have to become the guide. So if you're at the stage of the journey where you've earned your stripes, you have to actually be the guide.

Speaker 2:

I spent 30 years earning my stripes quote unquote and I didn't realize that I was looking like a student to everyone else when in reality I actually am far more holistically aware because of my curiosity compounded over a decade. But if you're on Kevin's end you were scared to ask for help, scared to ask a question you know didn't reach out enough. Then in that case you really should, because there's a lot of people that are excited and eager to help. I think a lot of people want to help and that's one of the reasons why I did have so many great mentors is they were eager to help me, even though in hindsight I realize now many of them really didn't know nearly as much as I thought they knew. But that's all in my. That's on me anyway. That's on me Lessons.

Speaker 1:

I also wonder if and this is a me thing, so for you, whether you're watching or listening sift this through your filter. It's also statistically what was the word I'm looking for? Historically been hard for me to say no when someone is trying to give me advice, even if I don't want it. That's been a challenge for me in the past.

Speaker 2:

There's this scene breakthrough.

Speaker 1:

There's the scene Alan Parks and Rec the best show ever of all time. I've learned so much from that show. There is a scene where Ron Swanson, who's kind of a hard ass, is walking through a Lowe's or Home Depot and somebody walks up to him, says anything I can help you with today, sir, and he looks at him and says I know more than you. And then he just walks away. He's like an expert woodworker and he kind of knows everything. It's weird, but I would never have the courage to do that, nor. I think that's a little hardcore. I don't know if I would ever have the Old Kevin whatever have the courage to say thank you so much.

Speaker 1:

I appreciate it, but I've been you know I've been in the construction field for 40 years I think I'll be okay. Whatever a balanced version of that is, I call it expert energy. You have to hold your expert energy and here's why. To Alan's point, there are certain podcasts that I will not go on because they're also podcast coaches and I know it gets weird.

Speaker 2:

Can you explain that I love this topic? It's just the you go into that because I go on other shows too and it can be really difficult at times. And this is nothing. I think this is a thing, not a you thing, not a me thing. I think this is a thing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

But when you come. So I was on a podcast called the Expert in you and I actually ended up having a really wonderful conversation. But she's been in business for 31 years and I look young and, quite frankly, as scary as this is to share, I'm certain that I'm more aware than her in business. I'm certain and I'm 35, and when I'm her age I'll also be have earned my stripes to the extent that she has, and I knew going into this show it was gonna be hard for me to hold my expert energy, to hold my guide energy, because she sees some young kid, she doesn't see what I'm going to become, or she doesn't see my awareness, my knowledge, my experience, my work ethic, the amount of books, whatever insert arrogant sounding thing here the credentials, the experience, the knowledge, the wisdom, the contemplation, the reflection, the coaching, all of it. The mentors and mentees, all of it. No one sees that.

Speaker 1:

That's all behind the scenes.

Speaker 2:

All they see is some young boy who looks 15, and that's okay, that's not on them. But how did you handle that? Because that is one of the hardest things in my life Kev is not getting the credit that I feel like I've earned in the real world because of what I look like.

Speaker 1:

I don't. I am very. It's an energetic positioning. I don't know how better to explain it than that. It's an energetic positioning of someone usually is trying to get the upper hand, and you just have to be aware of what that looks like. I don't. I try not to feed into it. I try not to feed into it at all and just yeah.

Speaker 2:

I'm getting better at that now, but what I used to do is just okay, they wanna teach me I'll be the student again, but if you do that long enough, you end up the most aware. And then eventually it's like when does that Well?

Speaker 1:

it's hard. It's hard anytime it's public facing in front of other people. It's really hard because you're trying to keep rapport. That's always hard. It's very hard to do that. You have to pretty much figure out what is the zone that you can stay in. How much can you push back and how much do you just take what is being said? That's the best advice I can give For you. Whether you're watching or listening, you have to figure out where are you potentially losing credibility for stuff that you know? Because you're not willing to stand up for what you know?

Speaker 2:

That's a.

Speaker 1:

I tend to just leave. I'm not necessarily great at that, it depends on where I am. Sometimes I'll just go. Like ah whatever, I don't any benefit I would have from being here. I'm willing to lose just so I can go be centered again, so I can go be myself again.

Speaker 2:

I don't wanna have to put on a show so back to that episode we did on the trauma responses, the four A's, you know the appeaser, the avoider, the anxious and the aggressor. And whenever there's an aggressor trying to hold their energetic ground when they haven't really earned it as much as you earned their stripes, quote unquote experience, knowledge, wisdom, whatever mastery, I tend to appease, you tend to avoid.

Speaker 2:

I just like, yeah, I'll just go. I mean, even look at that you literally research in advance and go. You know what? I think I'm gonna avoid that I would go on and then try to, and here's the problem I don't wanna be an aggressor, I don't wanna knock you down, I don't wanna knock you down a peg, I don't wanna. Well, I have a degree and I have my master's in business and I've started five companies and I don't wanna do that ego-bunking stuff.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes you just have to be looked down on. I think that's just an unfortunate fact. If you think of it this way, if you're a chef and you go to a restaurant and nobody knows who you are, and somebody brings out your meal and you say, hey, I actually asked for this medium well, and it's a little rare. Is there any way we can get that fixed? I'd appreciate it very much. And they say, oh no, no, that's how we cook it, that's, this is exactly what you asked for. There's two things you can do. You can say, okay, well, my mistake, could you please cook it a little bit more. Or you could say I actually am the head chef at one of the most successful restaurants in Florida and I've been cooking steak for 35 years and I can tell you this is not how it's supposed to come out. I think it's just up to you on what kind of experience you wanna have. That's totally. I'm gonna say I'll just eat it. Fire it up, I'll eat it right now. Thank you so much, but that's just it.

Speaker 1:

Isn't there a self-worth challenge there? Though I think it depends. It depends on if you decide in advance that look there's no benefit. I might argue that going overboard is gonna hurt your self-worth just as much as the other way.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, that's exactly it, because you're so afraid to ego bomb and then get stuck in shame of being a bully. Yeah, and what I've come to realize, and I think this will resonate with many of our listeners when you suppress your truth, suppress your truth, suppress your truth, you tolerate disrespect, tolerate disrespect, tolerate disrespect. You tolerate people that are a little arrogant, Like that person in that hypothetical scenario at the restaurant is just a little arrogant. Not only are they arrogant, but they're just inaccurate. No, and if you don't have the courage to shield, bump that, you're gonna end up suppressing, suppressing, suppressing. And then eventually you're gonna be like all right, listen, I don't know if you know who, I am right and then you're gonna get stuck in shame because you became the very bully, the very arrogant aggressor, when that is actually what was hurting you for so long. And so I try my best to be as respectful and as humble as possible, but sometimes, man, of course, sometimes it's like listen, I remember I'll share this briefly I was at a family gathering and this was a lot of other people, not just my family, but it was 4th of July.

Speaker 2:

Well, you know, alan, the only way to make money these days is real estate, and I literally again, I'm not trying to be unkind here All of the most successful companies in the entire world right now are our technology companies, all of them, and None of them made their wealth in real estate. So I'm pretty sure the internet is Pretty big. I don't know if you've researched it at all. You can look it up, internet, you look it up again that.

Speaker 2:

See how arrogant I'm getting, see how Ego bonky that is. So what did I do? I suppressed it. I didn't say anything, but I'm. There's a part of me that takes a hit on that, because what I should have had the courage to say is listen, I know that that's what you think, but the truth of the matter is, ever since the comm bubble and the 21st century, most wealth is actually in tech, the financial markets and tech, and and you can look this up, and I think that you should but you know, the truth of the matter is there's a lot more ways to make money outside of real estate and, by the way, the way in which NLEU is planning on in building wealth is is not in real estate. We don't own any real estate.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and that so, and this person is an energetically dominant person. The person I'm referring to is, like, needs to be. Everyone knows, especially our listeners. They know this, you know that person in the room who is the most ignorant but has to be the leader. They like have to be the loudest. It's that type of person and, honestly, kev, if people like you always avoid and people like me always suppress or appease, those people never get the humble pie that they need.

Speaker 1:

That's fair.

Speaker 2:

And and there's a line because obviously you don't want to go over the top and have you heard of the internet? Because then now you're the dick or the bully. And so I've ended up bullied a lot in the past, energetically, because I was so afraid to be a bully. And what I'm trying to learn is how to stay centered but give it a little little check not easy.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think I probably would have said the worst yeah, that's one of the ways, that's only one of the ways you can make money. That's probably it. That's probably what I would have said, pretty good easy.

Speaker 2:

It's just a.

Speaker 1:

Take some note, it's just a deflection, like I'm not, we're not gonna, I'm not gonna do this, we're not gonna do this but yeah, no, it's definitely one of the ways.

Speaker 2:

It's one of the ways to make money for sure, certainly not the best one, but one of them you could say that I wouldn't.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I would just say you wouldn't. It's definitely one way to make money.

Speaker 2:

Fair. And again, and I want our listeners to know this, if I had one weakness, it would be being more aware and Not standing up for it. That is, that is 100% my weakness, and I just don't have a lot of courage. I've been I've been very much a coward.

Speaker 1:

Well, you've been a villain eyes too. I think it's hard when you've been villain eyes Because you're gonna. I'm telling you that's it's. It depends, do you? Are you willing to deal with the discomfort that comes with those conversations? Because it's gonna be, you're probably gonna get villain eyes. Yeah, that's why I avoid them, because it's like in my mind, I'm just gonna go back to my little world and I'll go. I'll go do what I do and you can. You can keep operating, thinking that you thinking the way you think. That's totally fine. It's not my job to correct you and I don't want you to look at me like I'm an ass. I'll just move on. I'll just keep doing my thing and, honestly, here's the truth. Maybe you're just not the person from. Maybe you're just not the person. I think that's really one of the through lines of this entire episode is the advice. Anytime you get advice, that Depends on you using that advice with another person. That other person has more to do with it than I think we give credit.

Speaker 2:

There's a team member who's been nursing for 26 years and one of the doctors has Was really unkind and and kind of talking down to her and and this person shared with me. You know it's so frustrating. You know I've been nursing for 26 years and I, behind the scenes, behind the scenes, vulnerably I'm better at my job than all these other, all my colleagues, but the doctors look down on us as nurses and and I was in the, you know, the waiting room talking to other nurses about that and they're like, oh well, that's just what doctors do and it's like, yeah, but it's because we don't speak up, it's because we tolerate it, right. So it is a fine line, kev, between what you tolerate and then speaking up. Most of the most of the awful things that have happened in history are usually people being suppressed. You know, racism, sexism, people being suppressed and not speaking up out of fear, and so I'm with you on avoid it. Sometimes, pick your battles, but sometimes you got to call a fucking spade a spade.

Speaker 2:

It's fair, it's fair, and I'm I'm ready for that. I want to do that. I don't want people to Walk all around thinking they know everything when in reality they're wildly inaccurate and they're. They're actually deeply in Secure puffer fishing all over other people, and I'm sick and tired of watching people who are so much better Get bullied. I just I think, I think at the end of the day, I obviously everyone knows this I can't stand bullies, I just can't.

Speaker 2:

It's like You're wildly inaccurate. That's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. Like part of me wants to just say that, like that's what's not really ignorant. You know that's not true at all. You know, not even remotely true. Actually, as a matter of fact, that's never been less true in the history of humanity than it is right now, and I don't say any of that. So, of course, this is a me issue, but I know that our listeners struggle with that as well of Courage, have the courage to call it out and be like you know what, though? No, no, that's not true. You're, you're actually wrong, and and you really shouldn't impose your opinions so heavily on people, especially when you're wrong. I mean, you're kind of an idiot Again.

Speaker 1:

I went.

Speaker 2:

I went one step too far, made myself wrong. I was waiting for it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's a. It's definitely. It's definitely a challenging topic for sure, and I think one of the reasons is because Everybody is on their own unique relationship with it. It depends, it all depends. It depends on the level of feedback that you're willing to get back after you give the feedback.

Speaker 2:

I know, unfortunately, and then it's, and then it's this whole tit for tat thing, and it's but if it's something hurting people, if it's something serious, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's I mean.

Speaker 1:

For me it's like Okay, cool Podcast is not good, all right, cool, no worries, you do you and I'll do me. No worries, I'm not.

Speaker 2:

So I think it depends.

Speaker 1:

I think it depends but my next little nugget to wrap it up and make sure it there's a through line of what we started with, and I think this all is very, very interconnected. Just be careful who you ask for help, how you ask for help, when you ask for help, not just because of the answers you're getting, but the way people will look at you. It depends Some, some people. You could wait for the right time. You can ask them the perfect question no such things. Perfect, the right question in the right way, and they're still not gonna be happy about it. But that doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Sometimes you You're playing tennis with somebody who doesn't want to play tennis. They don't want to hit the ball back Doesn't mean you did anything wrong.

Speaker 1:

So that would be my, my next level nugget. And even to to the, the segment that we talked about. That was kind of off off of the topic, not off topic, off of the topic. Some people you could say that to. I could very easily say to you, alan, I, I know you believe this, but I think it's more factual this way and you'd be happy as hell to hear that, because you just want. You want to get to the truth. There are other people that would Fight tooth and nail to be right. So I think you just have to pick your, pick your battles, just like you pick who you ask your questions to and how you receive it my next level, nugget, is Break the cycle of Suppressed, suppressed, suppressed and then end up volcano.

Speaker 2:

So so, if you suppress your truth for too long, too much which I've been guilty of in the past you're either going to be depressed the suppression of self expression leads to depression or you're gonna end up exploding and then getting stuck in shame because the last thing you want to do is hurt people. And so you know, how do you, how do you stick up for yourself and not hurt people? There's there's the philosophical question you know how do you speak your truth and how do you fight for your rights and be respected and be seen accurately, but not hurt others, especially when they're imposing on your boundaries and imposing on you, and you know, walking around like like they know everything, and so so the next level, nugget, is how do you stay empowered but not arrogant? How do you? How do you stay courageous but not a bully? How do you, how do you give someone the humble pie that they need if you want to build your own self-esteem and self-worth? But not Not knock them down a peg, not hurt them?

Speaker 2:

And and I think that If I triggered anyone in this episode, it's it's because number one, maybe you've been bullied. I've dealt with a lot of bully, way more than I ever thought, by the way, growing up, I think I think you know I've been bullied a lot, a lot, a lot more than I realized, and it wasn't until therapy that I started realizing that that's such a massive through line in my life. And I think in many ways my stepdad was, was a bully. So if I triggered anyone I apologize, but at the end of the day you got to stick up for yourself. But hopefully you don't become the bully and I think sometimes we're so afraid to become a bully that we never actually stick up for ourselves.

Speaker 2:

And I know that I've been guilty of that in the past and I am breaking that cycle. I'll tell you what. So I apologize if I offended anybody, but at the end of the day sometimes you really do have to just Give people humble pie sometimes. Sometimes if they're disrespecting you and it's constant, you know you got to check them and Don't over swing and become the very villain that you, that hurt you or or put you in pain and suppressed you. But I think there's a five.

Speaker 1:

I think there's a five that we can find it, challenge him to a duel, say hey, hi noon at the soccer field. Let's do, let's do it out, let's have a duel over it, that's comes away Someone gives us a bad review. He's like well we could throw a hand, but that's obviously an over. But this is the other thing too the way I stick up for other people is different than the way I stick up for myself so that's, there's a that doesn't that a self-worth lesson too, because I think it's.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes it's a resilience thing. I was like, whatever you can say whatever you want to me, don't talk about Alan, or don't talk about the team, or don't you know, don't talk about my family You'd say whatever you want to me and that is what it is. I signed up for this. Or, like the team, they didn't sign up for this, the listeners, they didn't sign up for that. That's, that's the stuff. That that's what keeps me going. But again, it's, it's different, depends, depends.

Speaker 2:

Well, I would say, I would say that there's been a lot of really good philosophical understandings in this from both ends and as far as challenging episodes, this is ten out of ten for me for sure.

Speaker 1:

When you, when you talk about stuff that's close to home. You, there's junk that comes out. I think it's always gonna be that way, but, again, this is what we pride ourselves on at NLU You're safe, you're, you're, your take, your, your take, you know. Like. Your opinion, your take is Based on your experiences, and I think I guarantee there's people who are listening who have had similar experiences to you and probably similar experiences to me. So that's the beauty of it. There's always two sides more than two sides to a story.

Speaker 2:

And it's a hot topic, the hot topic. There's a lot of, a lot of people who have dealt with a lot of people who are deeply insecure. But over correcting from that and and this whole Very last thing, I'll say I promise if you know intuitively someone is Someone that you're around, someone who energetically needs dominance, you do have to sail away from that. I really need to say that I my life has gotten exponentially better. I mean To such a drastic extent that I can't even explain it the more.

Speaker 2:

There's certain people from my past that just no matter what they have to dominate, they just are so deeply insecure that they just have to energetically dominate. They can never be a student, they're super arrogant and super bullies. I'll call these people super bullies and I Just sailed away and my life is so much better. My life is exponentially better. So for our listeners, I know many of you have People in your life that are just no matter what you say, no matter what you do and, kev, you've been doing this from the get. You've been sailing away from bullies your whole life.

Speaker 1:

We either you either set straight or you sail away. Depends on what you want it that's. It depends. If it's an important relationship, it's worth setting straight. If it's someone you're never gonna see again, I'll just sail away. You do you, I'll do me. If we reconnect in the future, maybe we do, if not no love, loss.

Speaker 2:

Well, this is definitely a strength that you have that I think a lot other people struggle with. That's why when Kevin every he says stuff about family or about you know, at relationships, he's like I'm weird with the relationships you know. What you really are saying is I've just sailed away and I know it's not that easy.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, no, some. For most people. Sometimes you yeah, you gotta, but yeah no. This is probably one of those things I mean. I was a bandit as a child. When you're a bandit, I think it's easier to sail away. When you've been sailed away from, and I hate what's the confrontation I'm not a confrontation guy. I know you can make my food wrong. I don't care. Whatever, I don't care. I'm gonna eat and pretend I like it most likely, but that is a self-worth thing for sure. That is a self-worth thing Is it a heavy one.

Speaker 1:

Heavy one, but some of the best episodes we've ever done have been the heaviest ones, in fact. Next, sublimation if you want to join us, whether it's live in Groton Mass on March 23rd 2024, or virtual via the interwebs, zoom for next level live 2024, please click the link in the show notes. The tickets are I know a lot of people say this and often times when they say this they don't mean it the tickets are going faster than expected. So we're gonna sell 30 in-person, 30 virtual, because we wanna make sure we can have even teams, in-person and virtual.

Speaker 1:

We'll have breakout sessions for the virtual. We'll have breakout groups for the live. It's gonna be awesome. It's at a beautiful place, beautiful scenery, amazing lunch. Everybody that comes in-person is gonna get a free next level dreamliner. We will not be doing that for the virtual option just because we would lose all of our money, most likely if we did that. But if you want to attend either one, the link will be in the show notes. We would love to see you in-person if you're local. We would love to see you on the big TV that we'll have if you're virtual.

Speaker 2:

Also, if you are not yet a part of next level nation, please join us there. There are two rules in next level nation. Number one everyone is included. It is inclusive. The only people that are excluded are bullies. No one is allowed to be disrespectful in there. No one is allowed to be energetically dominant and disrespectful to others in there. So it's a very, very, very safe space for personal growth. I think a lot of the reasons why a lot of people don't have goals and dreams and chase goals and dreams is because they get made fun of. They get knocked down and made fun of, and bullies really are dream killers and so there's no bullies allowed in next level nation. Everyone else is. I hope that you join us in there.

Speaker 1:

Tomorrow for episode number 1,602,. One new awareness can change everything. This is a lesson that we learned at our meetup on Thursday, so Friday, saturday, sunday, three days ago. I think it's a very, very important lesson. That is gonna be one of those hyper-conscious episodes, most likely because I think it's kind of hard to explain or kind of hard to talk through. So please join us if you want to go super deep for a little Sunday hyper-conscious episode. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we learn of fans. We have family. We'll talk to you all tomorrow.

Speaker 2:

Keep sticking up for yourself.

Speaker 1:

Thanks a lot.

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host