Next Level University
Confidence, mindset, relationships, limiting beliefs, family, goals, consistency, self-worth, and success are at the core of hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros' heart-driven, no-nonsense approach to holistic self-improvement. This transformative, 7 day per week podcast is focused on helping dream chasers who have been struggling to achieve their goals and are seeking community, consistency and answers. If you've ever asked yourself "How do I get to the next level in my life", we're here for you!
Our goal at NLU is to help you uncover the habits to build unshakable confidence, cultivate a powerful mindset, nurture meaningful relationships, overcome limiting beliefs, create an amazing family life, set and achieve transformative goals, embrace consistency, recognize your self-worth, and ultimately create the fulfillment and success you desire. Let's level up your health, wealth and love!
Next Level University
#1605 - Which One Of These Motivates You More?
Are your ambitions fueled more by the exhilaration of chasing dreams or the adrenaline of overcoming scarcity? In a world that constantly pushes us towards the exceptional, understanding the underlying mechanisms of our ambition is not just insightful; it's essential. In this episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros explore the drives behind our pursuit of what seems impossible. This discussion is a treasure trove for anyone looking to understand the complexities of motivation and ambition. It invites listeners to embark on a journey of self-discovery, where one can uncover the subtle intricacies of what it means to step beyond the familiar and chase the extraordinary.
Links mentioned:
Next Level Dreamliner - https://a.co/d/f1FWAQA
Next Level Live - Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 (10:00 am to 4:30 pm)
https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-live/
Book Club - Every Saturday (12:30 pm EST) https://zoom.us/meeting/register/tJMkcuiupjIqE9QlkptiKDQykRtKyFB5Jbhc#/registration
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NLU is far more than just a podcast, and we have so many more resources to help you achieve your goals and dreams.
For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇
Website 💻 http://www.nextleveluniverse.com
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Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level 5 To Thrive (free course) - https://bit.ly/3xffver
Next Level U Book Club - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-book-club/
Next Level Monthly Meetup: https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/
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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email.
Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/
Facebook ✍
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Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/
Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com
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Show notes:
(1:51) Backed into a corner
(4:12) Running from scarcity or running towards abundance?
(6:47) Challenge skill sweet spot
(9:28) Understanding comfort zones and ignition levels
(14:13) Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/f1FWAQA
(15:44) The black bear thing
(17:21) Life is a sprint and a marathon
(19:36) Duality of motivation
(24:21) Outro
Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode, episode number 1604,. Why you're starting to outgrow people Today for episode number 1605, which one of these motivates you more? Alan and I have a problem between the two of us. There's conflict amongst us Tremendous tremendous conflict yeah hopefully it won't show through in this episode.
Speaker 1:Maybe we can get through this without a fist fight occurring on the waves here, on the wave Virtual fist fight On the air. We don't really have that big of a problem, but we kind of do. Okay. We had a conversation the other day and we were talking about money and Alan said and I'm paraphrasing here but one of the thoughts was when Alan gets too comfortable, he really really has to back himself into a corner to get I don't want to put words in your mouth, but it was kind of I have to back myself into a corner to make sure I'm doing the right things, to get fully ignited. To get fully ignited To ignite my full potential.
Speaker 2:It requires that I am in the challenge skills sweet spot.
Speaker 1:It requires a certain amount of pressure and I often overdo that, but yes, I am very much the opposite, where I, when you back me into a corner too much, I try to, I kind of shut down. It's too much. It's very hard for me to think long-term, it's very hard for me not to get thrown off. It's really challenging, to be honest. So I told Alan, I said I think there are some people who do really really well with running away from something. I think I do much better with running towards something. I want to run towards goals, not away from failure. I want to run towards abundance, not away from scarcity. That's just for the first. However, many years of this I was running away from scarcity and it was just constant fight or flight, constant overwhelm, constant internal scarcity, just that, just on the daily mayhem in my head. I want to get to the place now where I set a goal to achieve blank in X amount of time, and then that becomes my focus because that ignites me at my greatest potential. We're figuring this out. We're trying to figure out how to leverage my strength and Alan's strength to make sure that my strength doesn't become his weakness and vice versa. But we knew that there was probably an episode in this, because here's the simple question this is an early, early next level nugget. Are you more ignited by running away from scarcity or running towards abundance? Are you more ignited when you can't pay your bills? Are you, then gonna do the things necessary to pay your bills? Or are you more ignited when somebody says, hey, I have an opportunity for us to go away on vacation in six months? You just have to save $3,500. Knowing that about yourself is gonna help you, leverage that and ultimately, hopefully, help you get your goals in a more sustainable way. I would say I was gonna say faster, but not necessarily in a more sustainable way.
Speaker 1:When Alan and I were discussing me getting a new car, alan said this is how much more money we need to make and you can get a new car. And in my mind I had something to shoot for. I wasn't running away from anything. I was running towards something that I was super excited about. Tara and I are planning on moving, and I said okay, what do we have to do in order to make that happen to the degree we want it to happen? Alan said hit this number and I'm off to the races. I feel so much more ignited. I feel like a different human. But when there's $0 in the bank and it's like, hey, man, let's get out there and make something happen. It's like, I don't think, so I think I'll hang out and watch Netflix and eat ice cream, because I don't know if I can do this. So that's the episode.
Speaker 2:And that is fascinating, because when I'm super ignited yeah to your point when we're up against it, it doesn't mean that I'm necessarily Graceful about it. I think it's hard for me to. I always joke this is me being playful but I always say being kind is really easy. Being kind and having massive goals is actually really difficult, and what I mean by that is that when you're under tons and tons and tons and tons of pressure, I think it's harder to not be like overly intense for me. But you and I interviewed a man by the name of Steven Kotler way back, episode 400 something. I think it was in the 400s, 300, something like that. But we interviewed him and we know if you like, yeah, please, we interviewed him. And I don't know if I want anyone to go back. It's brutal, but honestly I do. I think it was a great interview. It was one of our best. I think I would say one of my best. I'm not sure Kevin had a great interview. I'm not really sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know if I felt that way about it.
Speaker 2:That was a big, pivotal, pivotal moment in Understanding the differences between Kevin and I, but anyways, so. So Stephen Kotler wrote a book called the art of impossible, and it's essentially a book exactly like what it sounds, which is how do you Design your life around doing something that's never been done, a k? A things that other people think are impossible, and I Was so excited about this book. I was so excited about this interview. Stephen Kotler has been studying peak performance and human performance and maximizing human potential For decades just awesome. And the book is phenomenal. By the way, we've read it in book club, so if you ever want to pick up a copy, that would definitely be awesome. I think there's a ton of gold in there. But for the purposes of this episode, that book has a specific concept that Stephen Kotler, during the interview, recognized this.
Speaker 2:In Kevin and I, there's something called the challenge skills sweet spot, which I've been talking about on this podcast for a long time, and essentially what that means is too much pressure and you're gonna Be in trouble, too little pressure and you're not gonna be ignited. And if you've ever heard the Quote I'm, the only time I'm comfortable is when I'm uncomfortable. Or the only time I'm uncomfortable is when I'm comfortable. That has always resonated with me. I, when things are like easy, I get uncomfortable. I don't. It's like, I don't feel like me. This is, it's not supposed to be this easy. I need to shoot higher.
Speaker 2:Essentially is when, when that happens now, for anyone who has really high self-belief and and really large goals and you've been goal-oriented your entire life and you've been an achiever that will resonate. You don't like when things are smooth sailing. It's just like, yeah, I'm kind of bored, this sucks right. Kev likes that. He's comfortable in comfort. For me, I, I'm uncomfortable in comfort. And so Kevin and I came up against this really big challenge where our challenge skills sweet spot is different, and I'll get to the. You know, desire versus fear, run towards something versus run away from something in a second. But we're on the interview. Do you know what? What?
Speaker 1:no, I couldn't find okay, I just if you don't want to be looking at my phone the whole time.
Speaker 2:If you typed Steven Kotler next level University on YouTube, it will come up. I've done it before, oh.
Speaker 1:I thought we were hyper conscious still at that point. No no, we were next level University.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, you're an excellent you.
Speaker 1:If I'm looking down at my phone, I'm not. I'm not Ignoring the word I'm looking for. I am ignoring you, but I'm not doing it disrespectfully, I'm not doing it in disrespectful.
Speaker 2:I am ignoring Alan, but not disrespectfully, which many of our listeners probably are too if you're at the gym hyper conscious. Now man next level University. Steven Kotler next level Universe. Okay, so on that interview we were talking about the challenge skills sweet spot. I asked even a question about it and he said there's two types of people. One of them is more common and he was referring to Kevin at that in the interview and I'm paraphrasing but Kevin's challenge skills sweet spot 632, 632, a holy crap. It wasn't that long ago.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean it was a thousand episodes. You know it was a while ago, yeah so three years ago?
Speaker 2:Oh my goodness, wow. Yeah, maybe don't go back and listen, but anyways, he said the higher percentage I would say 99% of the population, 97, I forget the number, but a very small percentage of the population needs 40% outside their comfort zone to be fully ignited, and I think that he said that the majority of the population only needs to be outside their comfort zone by I think it was 3% or something like that. In other words, if you are used to snowboarding on a green circle, try the blue square, which is one step up. If you are of the rare people that really only get ignited by a ton of pressure, try to go for the black diamond and you'll be more ignited. I've always felt like that and Stephen really in the interview kind of highlighted that for us. He said honestly that might be what's happening. So I want all the listeners thinking about themselves. But Kevin and I ran up against this where he was having panic attacks while I was in my comfort zone and so it wasn't. When I was ignited he wasn't, and when he's ignited I'm over here kind of bored a little bit, and that's been really hard. And for everyone out there watching or listening to this? Who isn't just watching Kevin change his hat backwards? Try to do a graceful, nice job.
Speaker 2:Which one are you? Are you ignited under massive amounts of pressure, where you really dial yourself in and you would get fully engaged and you get fully ignited and you're up getting after it? Or do you feel good and future oriented in comfort AKA? Would you prefer to be comfortable now aiming towards something, or would you prefer to be running away from the business, potentially failing? For example and I'm not gonna go down this rabbit hole too far, but every business has a certain amount of cash in the bank on purpose, where, on one hand, if you keep too much cash, you're wasting time. You could invest that in the business and grow it, but if you have too little, you're too scarce and you could die if something goes wrong, so to speak, and by die I mean go out of business. And so there's a different sweet spot for Kevin and I, and hopefully this will help all our listeners identify either with you or with me a little more, but, more importantly, identify self-awareness in yourself. Which one do you prefer? Do you prefer abundance, chasing after goals like the BMW thing with Kev, or do you prefer having your back up against the wall ready to rock and roll. The game's on the line and there's only 10 minutes left and you gotta be at your best to get it done. Does that thrill you? I think that's what I've got.
Speaker 1:It doesn't thrill me.
Speaker 2:Shuts you down.
Speaker 1:I'll strike out. I struck out. I was there was a time Now again, I think it's contextual and I think a lot of it has to do with confidence and I think there's it's situational but I was in Little League. I was probably I was 12 or 13,. I was on the All-Star team. I was one of the best hitters on the team and I was up with the bases loaded with a chance to win the game.
Speaker 2:I think I'm saying one of the best or the best.
Speaker 1:One of the best. I mean it was an all-star team, so everybody was really good. I was definitely top three, probably. I would say Struck out in three straight pitches. I think I swung the bat at the last one because I knew I had to give it a shot, but I knew I was no. No, I crushed. I was crushed under the pressure Of a 13-year-old little league tournament.
Speaker 2:You think I'm cut out for this life. Guys like origami folds under pressure.
Speaker 1:I folded, I'm kidding, I folded.
Speaker 1:Now with this, I think I do a lot better. I don't like it, though. I don't thrive. I just try to get through it. This is probably the best way I can explain it. On the day to day, I operate really well in chaos, but only if month to month is somewhat comfortable, and all I mean by comfortable is I know the floor is not gonna fall out from underneath us. I don't really care what happens today, as long as I know that tomorrow we're gonna be here. And sometimes it doesn't feel like that In certain instances, and that's very constricting.
Speaker 2:The problem is that this is contextual, based on the thing. So you're comfortable under 315 pounds squatting, I'm not. That's way outside my challenge skills sweet spot. So not only do you have to understand yourself and which end you are on in terms of how much pressure you can handle, but it changes based on your skill level, and so us doing an episode with only 30 minutes on the clock would have been stressful in the beginning, when we were doing hour long episodes just to get some value. You know now it's pretty easy for us. So it's and again, that's probably the wrong mentality.
Speaker 1:I was gonna say all the time you say that I'm wondering how many people listen and say you guys kinda suck. I think you're. Sometimes you'll say like hopefully this is a super valuable episode and I'm thinking how many people are thinking of themselves You're wrong, son, you're wrong.
Speaker 2:So these are some of the thoughts I have and if you have any feedback, please email us. Alan at nextleveluniversecom, kevin at nextleveluniversecom, positive feedback only, please. I'm kidding, constructive feedback please. But where was I going with that? Yeah, it changes. It's a sliding scale based on the thing. So snowboarding, when you're at the beginning, bunny hill is hard and then eventually, a black diamond is easy. So you have to slide this with the context of what you're doing.
Speaker 2:And I do have this quick little thing Growing up. There was this two mile loop that I've talked about in the past, that I used to run all the time. It was beautiful, there was horses, it was so nice. But one of the times I went too late and I'm running and it was after the time change, so it got dark quicker and I'm halfway through the run and it's getting really dark really fast.
Speaker 2:And I'm thinking to myself okay, yesterday one of our neighbors took a picture on their phone of a black bear in their backyard and sent it to us. And I'm thinking okay, it's dusk, I'm alone, I'm in the middle of the woods, for sure. This is not good, this is niche key, this is not optimal. And you know what your mind starts messing with you. It's like what if there was a black bear. It's like I can't run a black bear. You know what I mean. So but here's the thing I used to time myself Best time I've ever had. Best time I've ever had is running from something. I'm telling you, I was running faster and before the black bear thing, I had the desire to get a better time, quote unquote. But there's something about being up against it where I think there's a sweet spot between running from your fear and toward your desire. I do, and I think that that's how you fully ignite yourself.
Speaker 1:I would argue that if you were running a marathon, you wouldn't want that to be the mentality.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cause then you die somewhere in the middle. You die somewhere in the middle. That's a great point, Potentially really good point, Potentially yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Every time you told that story I'm always thinking. I'm like I don't know. I think it works really well for two miles, but nothing in life is really two miles. That's a great point but then again what?
Speaker 2:if I was saying what if it's two miles and then you take a rest and then you do another two miles? Right, so fair, yeah, yeah, fair.
Speaker 1:Fair it is. It's a marathon, but the entire marathon is a sprint.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. Have you ever heard this? Life is a marathon. It's a long game, which I do, I do agree, and it's an and not an, or Very important to realize like life is a marathon and it's also an all out sprint to build a habit, yeah, and and then it's a long game. So I love that mentality of again, that's a little side tangent, but I think it's a sprint and a marathon. I I'm convinced, so convinced, that wisdom is always and Kevin is ignited when he's running towards something and still needs a little bit of fear in him, a little bit of humility. That's for vice versa, and I think our and it's a, everything is a spectrum. Nothing's a one or a zero or a yes or no. It's an, it's an and it's a yin and a yang. It's not a yin or a yang. I'm so convinced that, as I've gotten older, I really do believe that to be true.
Speaker 1:I Would second that. I would second that. This would be my next level nugget. It would be a question when you were the most ignited, were you running towards something or were you running away from something? If we can Lock in on the patterns that's one of the beautiful things about Having the opportunity to do as many episodes as we do and have such deep conversations behind the scenes is really what we're doing is uncovering patterns in what works for us and what doesn't work for us, and then we can leverage what works for us and try to strengthen the stuff that doesn't work. So, if you look back in your past, when were you the most ignited? When were you the most on fire? When were you the most Excited? When we the most focused? Did you have a goal in your future that you were running towards or did you have a fear behind you that you were running away from? That's a very, very powerful awareness to have that you can utilize For the rest of your life if you, if you, become aware of it my next level nugget.
Speaker 2:Let's picture you know your wedding day is coming up. Are you more ignited by the excitement of the wedding and you're trying to get in shape for it, or are you more motivated by the fear of looking bad in the photos? I think that's good self-awareness, and I'm not making either one wrong. Maybe it's both. I think it's probably both. I mean, we have an event coming up and it's the desire to look great, but it's also the fear of not looking good. So it depends on the sort of percentage and, like I said, it's an and. So my next level nugget is everything's an and not an or, and it's important to understand that. It's duality, it's righty and lefty, it's Run towards something and away from something I really do. Yeah, that's it. That's it.
Speaker 1:Deep episode, you go one pretty hyper conscious.
Speaker 2:It is hyper conscious. Why smile? Because I miss hyper conscious. Sometimes I was thinking about earlier. Change the way you think, change the way you act.
Speaker 1:Change the way you live.
Speaker 2:Yes, that is hyper conscious.
Speaker 1:That is hyper conscious, mm-hmm, I miss it as well. But we, I won't say we didn't know what the hell we were talking about, but there's times we probably didn't. But I think, all things considered, we kind of did we were on to some stuff For sure.
Speaker 2:Definitely, definitely learning and growing with our listeners. I think that's the coolest journey to be on.
Speaker 1:We're just trying to figure out what we are. We're still doing the same thing. We're still trying to learn and grow along with every, each and every one of you joining us every day or every week or every three days or, however often, every month, whatever it is. Alan mentioned this. I have not started my diet yet for next level live. I'll keep it. I'll keep it real with you. I'm out here at jeffin and I don't have that much time because next level live is March 23rd 2024 in Groton mass At the Groton Inn.
Speaker 1:That is where I spoke For the first time ever, where I gave my first speech ever, and it went better than I expected. And then I said well, now I can identify as a speaker, so we are having 30 people in person. We're having 30 people virtual, so we're selling 30 tickets for each. If you come in person, you will get a free next level Dreamliner that I have here, as well as a very, very fancy catered lunch, and you'll get to meet members of the NLU community, alan and myself, the team, all that happy jazz. I promise it will be a transformative event.
Speaker 1:If you join us virtually, it's gonna be awesome still, you just won't get a dreamliner and you won't get to meet us in person, but I realized that many of our community lives in other countries, on other continents, time zones, plane rides, all that stuff. Link will be in the show notes. We would absolutely love to have you there. Whether in person or virtual, our goal is to make the event as Impactful as humanly possible. That is really what we're aiming for at the end of the day.
Speaker 2:Okay, there's a really cool moment where, apparently, someone saw the dream line, the image on the front of the dreamliner, and it was so inspiring to them. It's a mountain with a star at the top true north star at the top. In other words, what's your mountain that you're climbing? And they wanted to consider getting a tattoo.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah yeah, show it to Lizzie first.
Speaker 2:Lizzie shared that success story in the NLU team chat and I will keep it anonymous who that was, but that's really cool. So apparently it was so inspiring that they considered getting a tattooed, which is wild that you know. That's a little side tangent. But what I wanted to talk about we have a book club every week. We are coming up on 150 weeks plus and it's a very tight community, but we hope that you join. I don't want it to feel like you had to have been a part of it up to now in order to join. It's nothing like that. It's super inclusive, it's super friendly, it's super warm.
Speaker 2:So we're reading the Courage to Be Disliked and it's a book by I always struggle to pronounce this Ichiro Kashimi and Huma-Taki Koga, and it's essentially a wise old philosopher talking to a young youth who's naive but eager to learn, and the wiser old person is essentially helping this person create a philosophy that can create an awesome life. And so, if you're into Next Level University, if you're into existential, if you're into the hyper-conscious ideology of change the way you think, this is a great book for you. Book club every Saturday, 12.30 pm, eastern Standard Time. It's completely free. You don't have to have read the book. You can just join in, listen in, participate as much or as little as you want. The chat is usually on fire, but it's up to you and I hope to see you there.
Speaker 1:Tomorrow for episode number 1,606, I have no idea what episode we're doing because I am overwhelmed, so I'm not sure yet. It will be a valuable episode, I'm sure, hopefully and if you don't like us, there's another chance for you to say no, it's not valuable. But my goal will be to deliver as much value as humanly possible. Again, I don't know what it'll be, but hopefully it'll be a good one. As always. We love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and an NLU. We are fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.
Speaker 2:Stay in your Challenge Skills sweet spot. Next up nation.
