Next Level University

#1617 - What’s Your Relationship With “Earning It”?

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Share episode

Have you ever witnessed someone's moment of triumph and wondered about the untold story of their journey? In this episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros discuss the journey through the concealed trials that pave the way to professional and personal victory and offer an authentic look at the hard work, dedication, and consistency required to achieve one's goals. This discussion will challenge your perspectives and encourage you to strive for the success you truly deserve.

Links mentioned:
Next Level Group Coaching - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/group-coaching/
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level Live - Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 (10:00 am to 4:30 pm) https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-live/

______________________

NLU is more than just a podcast; we have many more resources to help you achieve your goals and dreams.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

_______________________

Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level 5 To Thrive (free course) - ​​https://bit.ly/3xffver
Next Level U Book Club - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-book-club/
Next Level Monthly Meetup:  https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/

_______________________

We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

_______________________

Show notes:
(1:49) The hidden grind behind glamour
(6:12) Time perspective
(8:45) Curious about whether it will ever work?
(10:08) The moment you start to think you've earned it is the moment you start losing.
(13:17) Desire and deserve
(17:40) Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching.
https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/group-coaching/
(18:52) The concept of "Powerball Mentality."
(21:55) Keep earning it
(24:18) Self-worth, deserving achievement and entitlement
(27:48) Honest conversation with self
(29:38) Achievement VS Receivement
(35:25) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Speaker 1:

Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode, episode number 1616. Deep down, you already know the answer to the question you're asking a very hyper conscious episode. I enjoyed that one very much.

Speaker 1:

Today, for episode number 1617, what's your relationship with earning it? One of my clients texted me something today. Alan and I wasn't planning on telling this because it hadn't happened when we came up with this episode, but showed out to Philip. Philip messaged me and said hey, I had to share this. Something amazing happened and one of the big guests I had on wants to collaborate and something he's doing and my name's going to be in it. He said this is huge. I said awesome and after that I sent it forwards. I said you've earned it, brother.

Speaker 1:

I think one of the reasons a lot of us, unfortunately, are unsuccessful in the things that we're chasing after Is because we believe we earned it long before we really did, and I told Alan that when I'm working with podcasters, I've really broken it down to. It's the wrong expectations, the wrong approach or the wrong time perspective. One of those three, if not all of those three are skewed. The time perspective thing, I think, is so important because we confuse time. I said this to someone the other day. They said well, I've been an entrepreneur for almost three years.

Speaker 1:

And I said yes, you've been an entrepreneur for almost three years. You've been a dream chaser for almost three years, but you're only doing it part time. So those three years are not three 12 hour days, they're three leftover days. Sorry, three years of leftover days versus three years of 12 hour days. And I said but if you think about Alan and I, number one, there's two of us and if you combine it, if you combine it, we're working 20 hours a day. Let's just say that we're averaging 20 hours a day, Six days a week, Six days a week. So we'd have to figure out the exact number. Let's just say, I don't know. Let's say 100 hours a week.

Speaker 2:

Let's say probably 120. 120.

Speaker 1:

So 120 hours a week times seven years, six years, let's do it. I love numbers. What's that 120.

Speaker 2:

So 365 times six is 2,190. I'll multiply that by 120. So that's 263,000 hours. Is that real? It's 262,800 hours.

Speaker 1:

Would you have to divide that by 60, though, to get hours, no, no no 120 hours. Oh, you know what it is.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, you're right, because we did days instead of weeks. My bad, right. So it's 52 times six. That's my bad Good call, which is 312. Multiply that by 120, which is 37,440 hours.

Speaker 1:

So that's a lot of hours. That's a lot of hours. I still do not believe we deserve to be the number one podcast in the world or anything like that. You know, I don't know if I.

Speaker 2:

If you were to look at the top podcasters in the world and again, you can do this in any industry, top business, top tech, top whatever, and then look at the timeline they've been in business and then actually do the hours, that would be a really cool apples to apples comparison.

Speaker 2:

Kevin and I talk often about how one of the biggest issues in this industry, but in life right now in the 21st century, is you're doing comparisons that are not apples to apples. I call it the inverse 10th law. If someone is online portraying a ton of success, they are most likely only one tenth as successful as you think. Ironically, if someone isn't portraying success at all, they're probably 10 times more successful than you think. But what I mean by this is you know if you could look at the amount of hours that everyone actually put into their craft, to their business, to their fitness, to whatever, and actually broke it down, and then compare that to the amount of hours that you put in? That would actually be an honest apples to apples comparison.

Speaker 2:

But no one's doing that, because all we're doing is looking online and seeing social media. But you don't know if they inherited their money. You don't know if they have someone behind the scenes, that a husband or a wife that's actually putting the majority of the bills early on. It's very hard to really know, and so it's just very important to understand that. I really like that exercise we just did, even though we jeffed the math. I jeffed the math because I did days and weeks.

Speaker 1:

I can say that's a lot of hours like 200, and so that can't be a loss.

Speaker 2:

That was too much. I did days instead of weeks, that's on me.

Speaker 1:

That's many hours. My ultimate thought in this is earning. It is contextual and it's personal and it really depends on what your relationship with time is. And I'm convinced one of the reasons we want to earn it long before we do is because we're afraid to some level and asking ourselves the question of my freaking chair is this even going to work? Will this even work? I think that's a question that you've probably never asked yourself, because you've kind of reversed engineered this. I asked myself it many times. I'm waiting to get to the point where I quote unquote deserve it, because I don't know if this is ever going to work. And just because you're two years in does not mean you deserve it yet.

Speaker 1:

Maybe you deserve Now I don't mean intrinsically Intrinsically is a human being, sure, but I'm just saying the results that you desire. Maybe you just don't deserve them yet because it just hasn't been long enough. So here's the thought Doing something for a year might seem like a long period of time, but if it's only something you're doing once a week, it's really not that much. If it's only something you're doing an hour a day, it might not be that much. But there's also the other side of it, of well. If you read for an hour a day, every single day, that's a lot. So, yes, maybe you deserve to have all the knowledge you have, but it doesn't really work like that with everything. If you work out every day for a month, that's 30 exercises, that's 30 workouts, but it's not that much.

Speaker 1:

In the grand scheme of things, it's a really good start, is what it is and, if anything, you deserve the self-trust and you deserve a little bit more self-belief and you deserve some more self-esteem and you deserve the opportunity to continue doing it. But I really think this is one of the things that is really really dangerous. Just because we think we did something for a long enough period of time that we should be getting more results than we are. I think that's just super, super super rare. I think it's usually. That's just the way it works. And on the other side, we have people that go viral or something works really really well and they are the exception to the rule, but the rule is it's most likely gonna take longer than you want it to, unfortunately, of course, of course, forever.

Speaker 2:

It will take longer than you. And when you had said you know you probably don't ask this question. The question that I ask constantly, that I do ask is why isn't this working? Not from the frame of victimhood of that it should be working and it's not. It's more a curiosity of why isn't this working, because if I figure out why it's not working, I can fix it, I can improve it, I can change it, I can shift it, and so fix it is actually probably the wrong phrase, because fix it implies okay, my car's broken, now it's fixed, whereas in business or in life or in fitness or in health or in wealth or in love, it's not a quick fix. There is no end, there is no. Oh, my relationship is 10 out of 10. Now I fixed it.

Speaker 2:

We were just talking earlier, kev, you and I, about a relationship talks coaching client that has that sort of fixed mindset of well, we're good now and there is no such thing. There's a reason why I still do therapy. There's a reason why people still coach with me. Even some of the one of my clients is unbelievable in business Very well put together, very well studied, brilliant, hard working. I mean, this dude's got it going on. He's on point. He's been tracking habits for two years. The dude's on point. The last thing he needs is coaching, but that's why he's so on point.

Speaker 2:

The person who needs coaching the most is usually the one who's the least inclined. It's usually the one who thinks they've arrived. There is no arriving. There is no deserving there's. Are you willing to earn it? And the quote that I adore and this is true in intimate relationships, this is true in fitness, for sure, and this is true in business the moment you start to think you've earned, it is the moment you start losing.

Speaker 2:

The moment that I am entitled to Emilia like, really think about this. I think about this all the time. The moment that I take her for granted is the moment I start to slip. It's the moment I think that, oh, we're good, our relationship's great. That's when you gotta be concerned because all of a sudden, I'm gonna stop earning it. I told Emilia I will protect your heart, I will help you build and help you shine. That was the two promises I made at the very beginning of our relationship. I said I will help you shine more than anyone ever has, and I will always protect your heart. And I screwed up that one with protecting her heart one time. That's a story, but it was essentially I was more focused on my mom and my sister in that moment and not on her, because they were fighting. But and I won't go any farther down that rabbit hole but she essentially felt that that's the only time in our relationship where I wasn't protecting her heart because I put her in an environment that was definitely emotionally not good.

Speaker 2:

But what I will say is that I wake up every single day and I try really hard to remember that I am not entitled to our relationship with Emilia. I am not. I have not arrived. I'm not deserving of Emilia, if anything. I wake up in the morning and I write in my journal and I'm grateful because she's usually still sleeping. I'm in the corner of the bedroom and I'm doing my Dreamliner and the beginning of the Dreamliner's top three gratitudes, and I wrote literally today. Earlier today, being able to share this house with Emilia was number one. Number two was our incredible RT event last night and number three was how wonderful of a person Emilia is and that is how you earn it, you, you and I'm not just writing this to share it.

Speaker 2:

I didn't even think I was gonna share it to be, honest and the truth of the matter is is that anything you wanna achieve in life?

Speaker 2:

That's truly magnificent and my relationship is magnificent and, trust me, in the past I could not say that with a straight face. I remember I used to have to, like try to find good things to say. You know, and my relationship is magnificent, but I have earned that and I will never stop earning that, because it's not over ever. And the moment that you think that you deserve by default, with very little effort, is the moment that you stop deserving it. You stop earning it, you stop working hard and working smarter and being humble and putting in the work and keeping the promises and showing up and supporting her and that kind of thing. And so I think in relationships people get that, but in success, I don't know if people do. It's almost like you think you're gonna, you're gonna show up somewhere and suddenly you'll be financially free. But ironically, the only way to be financially free is to really create a life of hard work and smart work and build something of value that you can consistently, consistently, consistently pour into and learn how to speak Alan.

Speaker 1:

Well, there's a big difference between desire and deserve. I think we all desire different than what we have. I won't say more, but different probably. But it doesn't necessarily mean we've put in the effort to get the result we want.

Speaker 1:

Tara and I went. We went to Dave and Buster's for Valentine's Day. She took me, she surprised me, that was where our first date was. So we were on the way and she said do you know where we're going? And I said, let me guess, dave and Buster, it was your favorite game. And she said, yeah, what'd you do? Basketball, basketball, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the way. And football, I like the football game, but we were one of I don't know, I think I'm old, I think I've gotten old. Maybe If you ever played the game where you, you launched the coin down the little ski jump and then it goes through the thing and then it falls and then it pushes like a bunch of other coins off of the thing onto another thing that pushes coins, oh yeah, that. I think that's a really good analogy for success, quote, unquote success, whatever that means, where I want all the coins and a lot of the coins are just right on the edge.

Speaker 1:

They're hanging on the edge and they're ready to fall. I didn't put the coin in the right spot to deserve it. To knock it over the edge, I just didn't do it. Everybody went there and tried, but nobody really deserved. They didn't push the right button, they didn't land in the right spot. They didn't do it for long enough. If I sat there all day, I'm willing to bet I'd get a lot of coin. I also run out of money, most likely over a long enough period of time. But a lot of things are teetering right on the edge and just because you can see it or just because you want it or just because it's moving doesn't mean you push the right buttons or did the right things to deserve it. But it's really hard to Alan's point when you don't know what other people did to deserve it.

Speaker 1:

Cause some people might not, some people might not have put in the level of effort that you have. Unfortunately, maybe it takes you longer. I would say, statistically that's probably true. Statistically it's most likely going to take you longer than someone you look up to. I just think from what I've seen, that's just kind of the way it works. I was thinking of this with podcast clients and there are a few podcast clients who just out of the gate were crushing it, but that's because of all the stuff they did to earn it before. Right.

Speaker 1:

They just kind of crossed over where they were successful enough and they knew enough people and they had enough presents and they had enough perception and credibility where it just crossed over. So this is my early next level, nugget what's your relationship with earning it? Do you have a negative relationship because you don't think you ever will earn? That's something to look at. Are you frustrated and starting to resent the dream because you feel like you're giving it your everything which you haven't earned it yet? Quote, unquote.

Speaker 1:

It might be worth asking somebody who has been doing it for a longer where they were when they were at your position. That might be a really good piece of feedback for you to get, because you might actually be ahead of where you think you are. That's the weird thing For a lot of us. I think we assume we should be further along than we actually are until someone sits you down and says you're way ahead of me, you're way ahead of where we were this far in, you're doing really well. That's a really powerful reset. A client the other day said how am I listening to one? I said you've been doing this for a year and they said yeah. I said you're ahead of where we were a year in Nice and it was a really good reframe because she was a little bit down on herself because she hasn't been consistent, Because a year in she's probably sitting there going 2000 listens.

Speaker 1:

Oh no.

Speaker 2:

That's double what we had.

Speaker 1:

I know, but people aren't honest about that, and that's the problem.

Speaker 1:

Well, it's really hard to time stamp somebody else's success. So I think somebody coming in and saying, oh no, yeah, I remember exactly. It was like to be where you are. This is the level of quote unquote success we had. You're way ahead of where we are. I think that's awesome because maybe then your time perspective is different. You say, okay, well, I've been doing this for two years and I'm ahead of where they were, okay, cool. And then maybe your relationship with earning it changes because you actually feel like you've earned more than you gave yourself credit for. Hopefully, hopefully, that's what that perspective can do.

Speaker 2:

I wrote a article years and years and years ago and this is before the next level blog. Was it called the?

Speaker 1:

Powerball mentality. You know where I'm going. I've heard of it. I've heard of it. I've heard of it. It is a pretty famous at the time, I think it had upwards of 200 reads. I actually think this one might add more than that I do.

Speaker 2:

I think it probably had, like it doesn't matter, probably a thousand or something.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

But the whole episode was this idea of the Powerball mentality, which is, when you play Powerball, you are hoping to get massive rewards for very little amounts of money. So you play what is Powerball like seven bucks or something I honestly don't know. I have no idea.

Speaker 1:

I don't know if I haven't played since I was like 18 years old.

Speaker 2:

You smartened up. The math is not for you, right, it's against you but so that the anyone who plays the Powerball. What they're really hoping for is massive rewards for very little amounts in.

Speaker 2:

Very little input for a huge return. And, yes, that's possible. Someone has to win. It's possible. But that's the anomaly they show the one winner and the you know $30 million pot or whatever, but they don't show the 9,000,999,999 people that lost their money. And unfortunately, that's the world that we live in. Success is highlighted and amplified and struggles are hidden behind the scenes and fortunately, some of that is shifting.

Speaker 2:

But Kevin and I are a little different in that and we believe in earning it. We don't believe in something for nothing. We even say that in our team huddles, like anyone who give you a perfect example. One of our team members I said you know, please cap your hours at 20 a week, 20, 20 a month, actually right now. And she's like you know, I'm going to just keep working and I'm like, oh, I really appreciate that. Thank you so much, but at the end of the day, that's earning it. She's not going to, she's not going to stop doing what she loves to do and contributing to NLU just because right now we capped her hours and we're going to change that immediately, and that made me want to change it. It's like the fact that she was still willing to put in work even after the hours is like that makes me. You know, that's noted, it's noted, that's someone who wants to earn it.

Speaker 2:

And so, no, we don't all deserve a mansion. No, we don't all deserve a six pack. No, we don't all deserve a magnificent relationship. And my truth is I could never have had a magnificent relationship with Emilia back in my early twenties because I wasn't ready, I wasn't grown up enough, I wasn't emotionally mature enough, I wasn't emotionally intelligent enough, I didn't deserve it yet and I had to earn my way to being with her. And the thing that I always say that I think lands well is she's 29 years old, I'm 35. Me at 29 could never have been with her at 29 because I wasn't ready.

Speaker 2:

And we told the story on the last episode about Kevin meeting Taran and how he wasn't ready either. And so you know, I think that earning it is noble. I do. I had a this will be the last piece but I had a mentor once. His name is Dr Robert Scott. We interviewed him way back and he's an older man, he's in his seventies and he said Alan, the thing that I love about you is that that you're basically two things he told me. He said number one. You're forged by pain, which I appreciated, and that's a deeper discussion.

Speaker 1:

But he said so you probably probably didn't appreciate it at the time. You were being forged by the pain. Yeah, the problem later is nice.

Speaker 2:

He said they don't make them like you anymore. And what he meant by that is he actually told me this. He said back in my day there were a lot of young, aspiring, earn it mentality men who really cared deeply about excellence and virtue and who really wanted to strive and earn every dollar. And he said that that's not. That's not the norm anymore. He said we've lost some of that.

Speaker 2:

And again, I'm not doing the whole generational millennials, gen Z, like I. The world has changed technology. I get it right. I'm not going to pit generations on each other, but what I will say is I really did appreciate that very much because I do feel strongly that I wake up every day and I try to earn my keep and I try to, I try to add value. I'm not looking to get something from you as a listener. Kevin and I are literally sitting here adding value for free, and that's we're serving, we're practicing our craft, we're pouring into a community, we're creating something of value and we're growing along the way and contributing along the way. And yes, hopefully we will be profitable. But profitability is last. Profitability comes after earning it and fortunately that has been working for us, maybe not as quickly or as abundantly as we might hope.

Speaker 2:

But I think that that's the lesson is, you can, you can think you deserve stuff by default. You can try to have the wrong time perspective and you can say I'm two years in, why aren't I winning? Or you can say, okay, I'm two years in and I'm going to get a little better tomorrow and a little better the next day and a little better the next day, and I'm going to work a little harder and I'm going to work a little smarter. And then I'm going to work a little harder and I'm going to work a little smarter. And I think that if you do that, eventually keyword eventually you will end up more successful. You will, and I think that you'll be proud of yourself too, and I think you'll be fulfilled along the way.

Speaker 2:

So I'm a big fan of earn it. Obviously, you got to work on your self worth as well along the way. That's another conversation, but you've got to, you've got to earn it. You can never own success. You can only rent it, and the rent is due every year and the rent is due every day. And that goes for health, wealth and love, and that's why Kevin and I are not quite as in good shape, as we were at the beginning of this podcast.

Speaker 1:

Unfortunately, not, unfortunately, not One of my favorite quotes. I started this was my first ever I guess it's not really a quote, but it's my first ever Facebook video which was preceding this podcast was do you deserve to be happy? And in this thing I basically said I think you deserve what you work for Now there's a fine line to that. I know I watched it.

Speaker 2:

I was going to hook you, you did hook me. You just didn't. You just didn't realize.

Speaker 1:

1000% BFD but here's the thing as a human, I do believe you deserve to be treated with respect and with compassion and you deserve to have a positive partner that Treats you right and doesn't take advantage of you in that. So we're not saying that, I'm not saying that. Well, you have to earn I Realize it's such a fine line you. You Deserve basic human rights and respect and all that. I would never say anything against that and if you listen to NLU, I'm sure you know that that's what this is built on. But when it comes to success, that's where it's weird. You deserve to be treated with respect and you deserve to be Treated with compassion. You deserve that, that you know all those things.

Speaker 2:

Yes, you deserve an opportunity, you know.

Speaker 1:

I think I deserve opportunities and. I agree people to believe in you and I think you deserve.

Speaker 2:

You deserve to be treated with respect. I couldn't agree more yeah what you don't deserve is to have a million dollar mansion on the beach just because you want one, and it's the entitlement that we, the episode we did on that.

Speaker 1:

You're not entitled to that. You're not entitled to that in the US Well again, and nobody's really. I mean, it's a fine line. These episodes are always nerve-wracking for me because I don't want I don't ever want to come off as insensitive or Misspeak, which I'm, I'm sure I have thousands of times over the course of of this podcast.

Speaker 1:

But success, if it happens faster than it should, I think there's luck involved. If it happens slower than it should, I think there's luck involved. It's either you're you have good luck and things go better than they should, or you have bad luck and things go worse than they should, and that's why I think it's so hard to connect. I feel like I deserve it. I feel like I've been working so hard and so diligently and so consistently. But if somebody's been doing it for five times the amount that you have and they don't have the level of success you want yet, either maybe they're unlucky and you're lucky and you're further along. There's a lot of different ways to go into it.

Speaker 1:

So my last, next, next level nugget would be this it's a question what is your relationship with earning it? Do you think everything? And I don't mean this in a negative way, but do you? If you were to reflect and search for patterns, is it common for you To expect the result to come quicker than it does and you feel like you're more deserving of the results that you have in your life? You're, you feel like you're more deserving of your reality. I deserve more. I've been working so hard. Maybe that's a tell that your time perspective is off. On the other end Maybe the lower self-worth side You're always, unfortunately, getting taken advantage of or you're surrounded by people who don't respect you. You probably deserve more than you're giving yourself credit for yeah so it's really it's.

Speaker 1:

It is it's self-worth kind of in a nutshell, but it's self-worth from the external Success standpoint. So hopefully some of that made some sense.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I think this is one of the best episodes. I think this topic in particular is really, really important. My next challenging one definitely challenging one for sure. Well, because you you get into all this stuff of well, you know, maybe someone else worked harder, but maybe you were in the wrong industry, or maybe that's not a natural gift of yours, so it gets very nuanced, and so I don't want to get lost in the woods with any of that.

Speaker 2:

But what I would say for my next level nugget is Check in with self, not other people self, and be as honest with yourself as possible and ask yourself the following questions am I upset because I've been putting in the work and I've been doing everything I can and I've been working as hard as I can towards something and I'm not getting the result? Or am I upset because I'm not really earning it? I'm not really earning it every single day, and I can give an example of each of those. You know it's. You are being a good friend, you are being a good partner, you are being supportive, you are, but yet You're still being treated like crap by your partner. That would be an example of I really feel like I should Be treated better than this and you know deep down that that's true and you need to have the courage to sail away or at least call that out.

Speaker 2:

The second one is I Want to climb towards this, this body of my dreams, this business of my dreams, this career of my dreams. But you know, honestly, I haven't really worked on my resume. I didn't really get that mentor when, when I should have, I didn't hire a Coach. I I haven't really been reading much lately. You know I haven't really been earning it. I haven't been putting in the work, I've only been. I've been unfocused and distracted. I've been scrolling on social media, right. So so just an honest conversation with self about your level of earning it and your level of deserving it and where you're at on each I have a thought before we go popped into my head I believe.

Speaker 1:

I won't even say I believe, because this is a brand new thought. I don't know what it's even gonna sound like or what it means. If we can think about it from the perspective of deserving achievement is very, very different than deserving receivement. The receivement the way you're treated by somebody else. You're receiving that versus the achievement of you're going out and trying to get something. I think those are two really good ways to look at it. The achievement part is probably gonna be harder than you think. You're probably less deserving. You're probably less deserving than you think. You are A very blanket statement, but I know there was times where I was like, why aren't we more successful?

Speaker 1:

Why aren't we more successful? And the reality is we just hadn't put in the work yet, Unfortunately and it sucks to say it and, trust me, it sucked at the time too. But on the other end, receiving if you feel like you're being mistreated to Alan's point, you feel like you deserve more. There's a good possibility you do. There's a really good possibility that you do I would say that if you were to take a hundred couples, how many of them, how many of those relationships is one person being undervalued, I would say it's pretty high. So I think those are the opposite. When it comes to success, there's probably 10 people who actually have gotten to the point where they really really do deserve it. And then, when it comes to relationships, there's probably 90 people who do deserve better.

Speaker 2:

And it's so interesting these are connected. I know we get a jump, but, kev, one of the reasons why I think they're connected and, by the way, I think it's achievement and treatment, that's the way I would say it is Mine sounds better Close.

Speaker 1:

So that's why I wanna Receive and receive, Achieve and receive, Achieve and receive, so it could be anything. It could be anything.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah so, but this is gonna end up being an NLU thing. I can feel it. I can feel it That'll be a thing. I never felt like I deserve achievement. I feel like I need to earn achievement, but unfortunately what came with that is I also didn't feel like I deserved to be treated with respect either, and I think that they're connected.

Speaker 2:

When you start, if you are on my end of that meaning earn it, earn it, earn it, earn it, earn it then most likely you are being mistreated and maybe that's why you're not as successful, because you're not standing up to people in the marketplace, you're not saying no to opportunities that you should. You're trying to over earn it and people aren't respecting you because of that. So these are connected and maybe that's a whole another episode, but check in with that too. Zero to 10, how much do I feel like I deserve the achievement that I want? And then, zero to 10, how much do I deserve being treated better than this person is treating me? And I think that most likely, at least one of those is off.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it would make sense.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

It would make sense. I think it's really hard to be accurate when you don't really have any data to go off of. Really, how do you know what it's like to be treated amazing if you haven't? You don't? It's so hard, yeah, that's brutal. So hard to know. That's so true. That's a heavy episode. This was a heavier one than I had intended, but I think this is a super important thing to check in with. The awareness of this is a great place to start, even to Alan's point, asking yourself those questions. If you get an answer that you didn't have before, you have more opportunity than you did before, regardless of the potential discomfort of going through that. If you have not yet joined our private Facebook group, if you're looking for a place where you do belong that is what the entire Facebook group is about just a safe place to be yourself, be authentically. You Link will be in the show notes, as always.

Speaker 2:

We would love to have you in there If you want to get into a room of other people willing to earn it or learn about themselves, learn about the world, learn about how to achieve health, wealth and love. Next level live. We are currently, as of recording this, 35 days out. This is dropping Monday, which means we are going to be 32, probably 32 days out, so it is peak month. We are 32 days out. Get your tickets now 60 individuals, 30 virtual, 30 in person, the. In person you get a free Dreamliner and you get lunch and we're going to do six groups of 10 people. We have the assistant coaches finalized.

Speaker 2:

I apologize for anyone who heard me say that Lizzie would be there. Lizzie will not be there. That's my bad. Jerry-ann will be the assistant coach virtually, christina will be an assistant coach virtually and Riley will be an assistant coach virtually. Those members of the NLU team if you don't know who I'm talking about, you will on the day. And then Kevin, myself and Amy Leneas will be the in person breakout session guides and there'll be a guidebook. It's going to change your life. It will definitely have you checking in with your self-belief and your self-worth. We've already created the curriculum for this event. It's going to be super, super powerful and I promise you you will leave that room far more well developed than you went in and far more likely to have a bigger, better, brighter future. So click the link in the show notes at very least Check out the venue, check it out. I promise you this is unbelievably high value for the price point. We did that on purpose. So first come, first serve. Please join us.

Speaker 1:

You'll also get to see how much taller than Alan I am, which is going to be awesome for anybody who does attend to see that. Tomorrow. For episode number 1618, the three core wounds this is something we were going to talk about last week, but I pushed us back a week so I could do a little bit more research to make sure I was capable of adding some value on that episode. So that's what we're going to do tomorrow. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU, we learn of fans. We have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Speaker 2:

Keep earning it. Thanks for your explanation.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Alan Lazaros

Host
Head Shot

Kevin Palmieri

Host