#1645 - One Reason We Feel Stuck Sometimes…

Are you craving a mental escape from the grind? In our quest for success and fulfillment, we often overlook one crucial aspect of our well-being: the need for mindful rest and mental escape. In this episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros illuminate the intricate balance between vital activities and the demanding responsibilities of our daily lives. This topic is about understanding the impact of our choices, nurturing our cognitive health, and embracing the moments of calm that mindful leisure can provide. Let’s discover the secrets to a balanced life, where every cognitive investment counts, and the pursuit of satisfaction is interwoven with the art of balance.

Links mentioned:
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Next Level Live - Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 (10:00 am to 4:30 pm) https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-live/

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For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

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Show notes:
(2:03) Mindful leisure: Nurturing our minds and bodies
(6:56) Equilibrium
(9:09) Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/f1FWAQA
(11:44) Equilibrating fulfillment and responsibilities
(15:57) Aligned grind
(19:38) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin 0:00

Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your Wealth. We hope you enjoyed our latest episode. It was episode number 1644. Are you setting unrealistic standards for your partner, or maybe vice versa? Unfortunately, today, for episode number 1645, one reason we feel stuck sometimes.

Kevin 0:28

I Saw something on social media recently and they were talking about how sometimes what is resting your body is Not resting your mind, and what's resting your mind is not resting your body, and I think that's why Sometimes it's challenging to choose what we want to do, because we know it's gonna fill one cup but it's not gonna fill the other cup. So maybe you love nature and and nature is really really, really good for your mind. You love being out, you love hiking throwback to last episode and it's really good for you, it's really good for your mental health. When you're out in nature, things are quiet, you're not anxious, you're not overwhelmed, you're not thinking about things, but you have a very physical job and you're so tired. At the end of the week the last thing you want to do is get up at five o'clock in the morning and go for a hike. You know it's good for one side of you, but not necessarily the other side of you.

Kevin 1:25

I think that's where a Lot of us get stuck, and I've I don't know if I've gotten stuck there I enjoy feeling sore. I Love physically feeling sore From workouts, a training, jujitsu, whatever it is, but that's also Exercise and jujitsu and that type of stuff is also really really good for my brain, my mind, because everything kind of turns off. But I also find that when I veg out and watch UFC, I Don't know, I don't know if this is something I really deal with that often. I have a good example.

Alan 2:03

When I was younger, I loved video games and I would play real-time strategy games, so Starcraft 2 was a game I was really into at one point and I told kev back in the day I had the one of the top 2v2 teams in the country. I don't know why I was meant to stupid stuff like that, but anyways, shout out to Ben Zeiss, me and him had a great team anyways. So it was really stressful, though, and it was really really good R&R for my body, but not for my mind.

Alan 2:33

Yeah, and I remember I really it was super cup-felling. I would wake up in the morning and I would play a game, maybe before work or whatever. But I remember I'd be mentally exhausted because it's such a quick, real-time. There's something called APM, which is average something per minute, and you try to get your APM up, so the clicks, the number of clicks, but it's a really intense real-time strategy game and I remember after the video game was done I would be like mentally, cognitively, completely exhausted because of all the focus. But I would feel fulfilled, I Feel good, especially if we want to feel really good. But that's a good example, I think, of R&R, that's your body's resting but your mind is not.

Kevin 3:17

Well, the other thing I mentioned this before where I love watching the fights on Saturday night, it's not as relaxing for me if I have my phone near me, because I just, at some point, I'll end up on social media, yep. So it's really good to rest my body and it's really good to rest my mind, unless I do that, unless I pull up my phone the other. So Tara and I are going to when are we going? Scotland in May, scotland. It's wild how fast that's coming and that's gonna be really good for my mind. But we're all over the place. We're driving like Are you Scottish? Good sir, I don't know. I'm on many things. I don't know.

Alan 4:01

I think I'm Scottish man.

Kevin 4:03

There's definitely a piece in me German, scottish, polish, I know Taryn has more Scottish than I do.

Alan 4:09

I think I'm a mutt. My grandparents are from Ireland On my dad's side, but I'm definitely Scottish too. Will you visit?

Kevin 4:17

there. Will you visit there one day?

Alan 4:19

I will visit.

Kevin 4:20

Yeah Well, I'll let you know how that You've never been out of the country before.

Alan 4:24

No, it's what I have, just not the continent, not the continent. Where'd you go, mexico? And I've also been to Canada with you, man.

Kevin 4:32

That doesn't count, though, really how?

Alan 4:34

dare you, the Canadians listening are very upset.

Kevin 4:38

No, no, you know, I have love for Canada and the Canadians, but I feel like you got to go across the sea Across the ocean.

Alan 4:46

You got to go across the pond, across the ocean, my mom and mom and pop up my grandparents on my father's side, my grandmother mom. She said that she's the last person in the family, like if we ever want to buy land in Ireland, it has to be now Because she's in her 80s and she's Because she's the last one who can buy land. I think you have to have Irish citizenship to buy land in Ireland Interesting and they have to connect it to like you were born in.

Alan 5:15

Ireland, I think you're lineage yeah, so anyways side tangent, but A little bit about you.

Kevin 5:20

What watching movies for you is good for the mind or the body.

Alan 5:26

It's actually interesting. I'm glad you brought that up Because when I watch a movie, I like to watch movies that I've seen before, and the reason why is because I think this concept Okay, jurassic Park Been watching them since I was a kid. There's six of them. I like the first three a lot because I was a kid. It takes me back. But the cool part is I can watch the movie without watching the movie. I don't have to pay attention. Sometimes I like to relax and watch something that I can enjoy, but I don't have to like hang on every word, whereas if it's a brand new movie, like Oppenheimer that you suggested, I didn't want to miss any of the dialogue. So it was cognitively taxing a little bit, and so I'll purposely choose a movie I've seen before, just to veg out and relax my body and my mind, versus a movie that's brand new that I really want to get into. Especially intellectual movies. I need to be cognitively functioning at a high state.

Kevin 6:22

I wonder if it's. Maybe it's not body and mind, maybe it's, I don't know, because I haven't done any music in a long time. It's been months and months since I've done any rapping or writing. I just haven't had it, just hasn't been a priority.

Kevin 6:36

I can make it a priority, but it just doesn't. That's almost the thing it almost doesn't seem like doing. It is going to be worth it because it's going to take way too much energy to do it and I'm not going to get that energy back in any way. I don't know if that's used, so when you're squeezed, it's hard to.

Alan 6:56

When you're squeezed, it's hard to justify putting energy outside of the things that are more important.

Kevin 7:03

I just don't know if that's a creativity thing, where I want to do it. But I have this moment. Let's say, saturday comes and I work seven hours and then Taren's out, ufc is not on for a few hours, and I say, let me see what I can do. I might find a beat that I like, or I might find music that I like, and then five, 10, 15 minutes later that's just gone. It's like ah, this is too much, this is too heavy. I don't have the energy to do this right now. I wonder if I pushed through, if I would be more fulfilled after if I did it.

Alan 7:40

Probably. Here's the thing that I think this is bringing up a good topic. This is starting to feel a little bit like a freestyle Friday, but I'm reading a book right now called the Art of Focus by Dan Ko. It's phenomenal and he talks about how we're all energetic beings. One thing that's been very humbling for me lately I talked to the listeners about how this is the first time I've been sick in nine years and I'm very grateful for that. But lately my energy management has needed to come up in order for me to stay on task.

Alan 8:10

Focusing for me typically isn't a super big challenge. I tend to get my work done and focus pretty well, all things considered. I track a lot of habits and blah, blah, blah. Lately it's been a little bit more challenging. This is the philosophical question Should Kevin wrap because it's gonna be fulfilling and creative, or should Kevin pour that energy, that effort, that time, which you'll never get back, into a creative endeavor that will pour back into your life? And this is the thing that all of us really need to think about. I know I'm projecting on everybody right now, but I seriously do believe this. Okay, snowboarding is a good example for me. I adore snowboarding. I think about it. I think, oh, that would be so great.

Alan 8:59

There's other things that fill my cup, other than snowboarding, that also refill the business. Everything is either a win, a win-win, a win-win-win, and there's a way to do this. So let me break this down. Some things are a lose-lose, some things are a win-lose, some things are a win-win, other things are a win-win-win. So let's say this episode is a creative endeavor for Kevin. You pour time and effort into this. This feeds you back, it feeds your lifestyle, it feeds the listeners. It's like a win-win-win the listeners win, you win, the business wins, the team now wins Everything.

Alan 9:36

And that's the thing that I've been having a hard time with as we've become adults. I'm 35 or 34. It's so frustrating to have such high responsibilities, dude. Sometimes I just think to myself I just wish I didn't have any goddamn responsibilities. I understand, I know you do.

Alan 9:50

And here's the thing. Can I just go snowboarding on a whim, dude? Real talk. No, not really. Not without tons of consequences, not without the fact that, okay, kevin's life is gonna get worse if I do that, emilia's life's gonna get worse, taryn's life, your wife, is gonna get worse. There's a lot I'm needed right now. Now here's the thing about goal achievement. Let me bring it back to the listeners. It's that it's just ranting about me and you For the listeners. When it comes to time, effort and money, when it comes to what you pour your creative endeavors into, when it comes to what we're talking about here, which is resting your mind and your body, if you're not optimal with it, your future takes a hit. Yeah, you can go rap, kev, but it's not feeding your profitability, it's not feeding your lifestyle. It might feed your fulfillment, and then will that fulfillment indirectly feed the podcast?

Alan 10:42

Maybe, I don't know, but it's exactly, and this is imagine an actor or an actress who gets paid I don't know millions of dollars for films, and then they wanna sing on the side. Do they get trapped by that Cause they can't now, because they could be creating millions of dollars worth of wealth, whereas they're gonna sing for fun? Can you think about how cagey that can be? It's like, well, I can't rap because now I, you know, I'm so marketable over here, and I think that that's something we all have to understand. The very last piece, kev. I know I'm ranting.

Kevin 11:13

You're good.

Alan 11:14

Dan Coe talks about this in the art of focus. He says you have, you can, your brain can process I don't know 50 bits per minute or something in terms of your cognitive conscious function. So if you take that and you take the average life expectancy, it comes to something like 120,000 bits of information. He said where are you allocating your focus? Where are you using those bits? So every time I'm sitting there watching Jurassic Park again for the 50th time, am I wasting my life or am I filling my cup? And so I think of it like the phone charger, the iPhone charger, those knockoff Amazon ones that never work, and you put your phone on it and an hour later it only goes from 20% to 26%. I feel like some of us are doing that with social media. You're scrolling on social media trying to fill your cup and you're not filling your cup. So snowboarding might be a 10 out of 10 cup filler, but it's also a 10 out of 10 investment of time, effort and money, depending on which mountain you go to.

Kevin 12:11

Yeah, but like you said, if you're getting content, that's good for the bit. I think there's ways to connect better. But will it ever be as good as you sitting in the office? Probably not.

Alan 12:22

And that's the philosophical question of what is the best use of your time. And as we've gotten older, I don't know if you've felt it, but it's harder to go frolicking for lack of better phrasing. It's a little harder to go off the rails when you only have so many finite resources, and the last thing you're going to do is take a week off and let the snowball of everything we've got going.

Kevin 12:47

Yeah, that's fair.

Alan 12:48

You know, because the team takes a hit, the business takes a hit, the listeners take a hit, that whole thing. So I don't think it's a bad thing. I just think we need to have a good relationship with responsibility, for sure.

Kevin 12:58

Oh, and I think, just understanding what side you're on. Like you said, if you're always out frolicking, you're going to pay for it in some way, but if you're always out grinding, maybe you're not going to be as fulfilled in figuring out what your unique juggling act is. So we always come back to that when we have this conversation, because you're very fulfilled when you're working, but you're also very connected to the outcome that you have goals based around, and you also are really good at understanding what matters today matters more in 10 years. So I don't know if you're a great example just because you're so dialed in with this.

Alan 13:39

I've tried to integrate what fulfills me into what is most profitable as well. And I think a lot of people who do work that's profitable, that's not fulfilling, struggle with this a lot, because as soon as you get off work I remember you talking about that in the past as soon as you get off work, you just want to go the other way.

Kevin 13:57

Yeah, you just want to shut down.

Alan 13:59

You just want to shut down when that might not be, whereas you and I's life and work is very integrated.

Kevin 14:04

Well, I like the freeze, I like aligned grind. Yeah, that's nice. My thought is last week or two weeks ago, whenever we did an episode on how I was kind of the most overwhelmed that ever been. But I was also doing the most physical activity I'd done in a minute and it felt really good. It felt like that all of that stuff that I was doing to my body going to the gym, going to Jiu Jitsu, just getting beat up was really good for my mind. It helped keep me level and I know I was overwhelmed, but I felt like I was moving and I felt like I was accomplishing stuff.

Kevin 14:40

So I just think it's another personal conversation with yourself about what matters and sometimes you've got to try the thing to see what you feel like on the other side. That's what I would have told Kev. I would have told Kev, who used to work and get home and not want to do anything, to just go to the gym, because you'll probably feel better after you go to the gym, and I always did. I got to the point where we would get to the office at two o'clock in the morning. I would literally change into my gym clothes in the bathroom and then I'd go to the gym from there. Now I'm a sicko and I wouldn't sleep and it wasn't healthy, but I was always happy. I did it because I knew if I just let the weekend go by and I don't accomplish anything, I'm going to feel like garbage on Monday. I'm not going to feel like I use the very little time that I actually have to rest and relax to actually do something that I'm going to be grateful I did. So it's personal.

Alan 15:33

Think of everything else you have to find what the unique point for you is. The last thing I would share is we have to be effective at whatever our careers are. I think that's important, and I think we have to be just as effective at filling our own cup. If it's something that requires level 10 investment for something that only fills your cup, level 3, that's gonna be bleeding you and not not feeding you feeders and bleeders if you have not yet joined our private Facebook group.

Kevin 16:07

If you're looking for more like-minded people, if you're looking for a place where you can be yourself authentically, you Find peak performance partners, whatever it may be. If you're looking for a positive place, next level nation is the place.

Alan 16:19

We'll have the link in the show notes, as always last call if you have not gotten your tickets for next level live. The in-person ticket is a bogo, meaning when you buy it, you get to bring a plus one for free. Please send me their name and their email address. You can do it on Facebook, messenger, instagram, dm. You can do it at alan at next level universe comm. Get your ticket. I'll also see that come through and I'll email you as well. For the people that are virtual, that are not local to the Massachusetts area, the ticket is $47 and you can join us there as well. It's going to be the very best content Kevin and I have ever personally curated and Presented in one day. So it's the most humble, grateful and growth-minded people Possible, all in one room for one truly life transforming day. I promise you, if you come into this room, virtually or in person, you will leave a greater Version of yourself, with a bigger, better and brighter future and yes, you will probably look in some tough mirrors, but that's where transformation happens.

Kevin 17:19

You'll also get to see how much taller than Alan I am in real life or virtually when we're next to each other Tomorrow.

Kevin 17:27

I don't know what episode we're doing, because I am out here jeffing the event fields are here, so it's just heavy and there's a lot going on. So that is on me. But my goal next week will be to have all the episodes chosen and we'll be able to tell you what we're gonna do. Hopefully it'll be a good one. Maybe we'll have some giggles who knows what'll happen but I don't know what we're gonna talk about. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and an NLU. We don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan 17:54

Keep being effective in your R&R. Next up on issue.