Next Level University
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Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers, entrepreneurs, and self-improvement addicts who are ready to get real about what it takes to grow.
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Next Level University
#1649 - Freestyle Friday - The Growth Journey
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In this episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros discuss the growth journey. In our always-online world, telling what’s real and just for the show can be challenging, especially on social media. These sites often show only smiles and good times, but life has many different moments. Also, they discuss how growing as a person and leader teaches us much about ourselves and how we act with others. It’s not always easy, but it helps us improve and show our true selves to everyone.
Links mentioned:
Next Level Dreamliner - https://a.co/d/f1FWAQA
Next Level Live - Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 (10:00 am to 4:30 pm) https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-live/
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For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇
Website 💻 http://www.nextleveluniverse.com
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Show notes:
(2:37) The growth journey
(5:07) Cleansing our inner selves
(9:16) Lyrics
(14:08) Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/f1FWAQA
(15:27) Personal energy dynamics
(18:37) Awareness for everything
(19:58) The truth
(22:16) Orchestration responsibilities
(26:05) Aiming high
(31:00) Outro
Send a text to Kevin and Alan!
🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros
Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.
Next level nation. Welcome back to another episode of next level university, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode, episode number 1,648 the worst advice we've ever gotten For rejection. Today, for episode number 1,649 happy free style Friday. You know what I was thinking the other day, alan? I Was thinking what's that?
AlanKevin.
KevinI was thinking of Of the people we went to high school with and I was wondering if they're as happy and fulfilled as they look on social media not from a place of judgment, but it was a genuine. I really hope Things worked out for you and I really hope you're as happy and fulfilled as it looks, same as ease. I was thinking of that the other day because I I Don't know. When you get behind the scenes of so many people, you realize how much Everybody has their own unique struggles.
AlanYou're just speaking objectively. I think it's impossible for them to be as happy as they look.
KevinI don't think anybody is, yeah, almost no one. The last, the last, however many months? You know why I haven't been posting on social media? Because I didn't want to pretend I was happier than I was yeah. That's one of the reason I was. I've been extremely overwhelmed. I've been spread very thin. I don't, I'm not inspired to post when I have to fake it pretending sucks, man, pretending sucks, pretending's the worst.
AlanYeah, it eats you alive inside.
AlanThat's been on my mind that's been on my mind a lot. We've all done it, I think, in middle school and high school. When you're younger in particular, I think there's a lot of there's a lot of pretending going around, for for many of our listeners Think about someone in your life who's a teenager, or maybe they're in their early 20s it's very clear that there's a lot of insecurity, but they're portraying the opposite. Yeah, and I think that everyone does that. I think the growth journey is I Think we're born a clear glass of water. I Think we're all born with a unique light that we shine.
AlanIn this analogy and I think life throws mud in our glass Toxic relationships, traumas in childhood, tragedies, sexual abuse, sexism, racism you just get all bullies. You just get mud slung in your glass, and I Think that personal growth, particularly the inner work, is Clearing your glass of water. So I am writing a blog right now and I am using canva. Can is awesome and I created a Digital asset that had a clear glass of water on the left with like the sun shining through it, and then on the right it was glass of Coca-Cola and my point of the metaphor is the water on the right is really murky and your light can't shine through it. And this kind of goes back to what we talked about in the last episode, where when you're not emotionally connected and you don't do the inner work, it's almost like you can't. Yeah, you're protected from getting more mud in your glass, but the mud that's already in your glass is kind of stuck there Versus.
AlanThis is what I recommend, and if you've ever seen a video where they do this, imagine I take a clear glass like this. If you're on YouTube, you can see my clear glass of water. Imagine this is full of Pepsi or Coke and Then I open the top and I pour clear water in it and I just keep pouring, keep pouring until it overflows. Eventually the water gets less and less murky Until eventually you have a clear glass of water. I'm convinced. I think that's what inner work is. I think that's what personal growth is.
KevinLet me take you behind the scenes real quick. Completely unrelated. It's going to completely disregard all the positive, valuable things you just said. Okay, but when you were talking about, I was in Canva and I had one slide that's a clear glass of water and the other slide I thought you were gonna say was turd water. That's really what I was waiting for and it didn't happen. And then I got lost in thinking. Then I just got lost. I heard what you said, but I was thinking of turd water that whole time.
AlanOkay, Well, to bring the metaphor full circle, Mm-hmm pouring clear water into the murky water is Like diluted it dilutes it.
AlanYeah, and I think this episode is one example of that. So, after 26 Quarter-life crisis, I got into personal growth, inner work Instead of instead of just improving toward my goals, achievement at the expense of fulfillment. I worked on self improvement and the blog that I'm writing right now that I just referred to it. It has the Seven levels of self. So the first one is self concept, which is your identity. The next one, self-belief we talk about that all the time. I don't know you. The third one you won't be shocked by this kind of is self-worth. Okay, then it's self-discipline, after that is self-trust, after self-trust is Self-love, after self-love is self-respect. It's a pyramid. I'm sure you're not shocked course yeah no, of course, Gotta be, gotta be.
AlanAnd, like I always say, the cool part about a pyramid is the foundation has to go wider before you can make it taller. And I think self-respect is Something that takes a long, a lot of work to get to Non-ego, true, authentic self-respect I think that's the hardest one to get to. So that's the premise of the blog. But If you picture that murky water as a teenager, what you can do if you expose them to personal growth is personal growth is like pouring in clear water the podcast, personal development books, psychology, therapist, coach, self-improvement, exercise, nutrition, sleep, hydration. You're just pouring in clear water and eventually the toxins Get out and you eventually are this sort of clear beacon of light and then you're a mirror for other people because you're shining so bright. And that's where that quote comes from of it is not our darkness that most frightens us, but our, but our light.
KevinWhere did that come?
Alanfrom that quote One time I I said coach Carter. No, it's in, coach Carter, yeah you know?
Kevinthat's where I know it from, like Maya Angelou.
AlanYeah, mary, and I honestly don't know, I can't authentically show down to Mary and something I think, mary, and I'll you, I'm sin. I want to say that okay, how certain?
Kevin70%, 70%. So if we were on who wants to be a millionaire, you'd probably phone a friend at this point.
AlanYeah, okay, so take that for nothing, don't, don't tell someone I would phone Jesse, jesse knows that quote yeah she used to have that quote written in her room and give her a buzz right now. I think I exposed her to that quote and then I think she fell in love with it, because I think tears came out when I when I shared that quote with her. That's a quote that is Powerful for a lot of people, very, very.
KevinYeah, it's a good one again would never resonate with me because I don't think I'm capable of much. So I'm not really worried about unleashing my full potential. But I do understand, because I've seen that on your end very much for me, it's like. No, no, I'm afraid of failure. That's what I'm afraid of. I'm not afraid of being great.
AlanThat's what I'm trying to do. Funny man, that's you. It makes no sense, you know, makes no sense, but I under.
KevinI mean now I now I understand. You know what else I was thinking the other day. I was. I don't know where this came from. This might not, this probably won't resonate with you, but I have lyrics that pop into my head, sometimes Like I'll literally like turd water. The turd water is one. Yeah, that's one. I'll. I'll be in dreams and I'll have lyrics. I think that happens sometimes and I was thinking of the fact that I'm pretty sure I Didn't know this at the time. And don't laugh, it's not funny, but I know you're gonna laugh.
KevinI'm pretty sure I've had depression since I was like 10 and the reason I say that is because I can remember lyrics that I wrote because I've been writing For a long time. It used to be poetry and then I had the courage to start rapping it. But I remember I used to write some very dark stuff and it like came to me recently and I never. I remember I had I was dating one of my first ever real like serious girlfriends. I remember she had a therapist or a counselor I think I don't know what it was, what the person was classified as were they working at school, because a lot of times if they're working at school, they call it counselor.
KevinNo, this is somebody outside, outside of school. I'm guessing they were a therapist, probably but, I, don't know the difference between a therapist and a counselor in terms of it's just like you're saying most likely.
KevinOkay, so one of the two, and I remember she said, yeah, I'm just, I'm going through, like I have depression, and I remember thinking, like what is that? Like what is I don't understand, like you're just sad. And she said, well, no, it's a lot more than that. There's stuff going on and I could never, ever, ever Understand it. But I wonder if I just had a different version of it, because I look back and it was I Wrote some dark stuff.
AlanWell, you said this to me, where you and I have been a very interesting mirror for each other. We've reflected so many things off each other that we never would have learned otherwise. Like even even earlier, you're like well, now I get it.
KevinYeah, yeah, it's like well.
AlanYou never would have understood people that are afraid of success prior to that hundred percent right and I never would have understood the other side. So even even one of the cool things that's come of that is, I just never understood how valuable self-belief is. It's the most important thing ever, but you have been the one to help me understand that I have it and that other people don't necessarily.
AlanYeah and that wasn't from an ego place, it was just yeah, yeah, I had no clue. So there's a million things like that, but one of the mirrors that you've been for me Everyone has a temperament. I don't know if temperament's the right word, but your temperament is lower energy than mine. I'm like a more Intense person than you and I'm not. I'm almost never not like that, and I know, you know that because you've seen, we've hung out, we, we travel together. I'm familiar with you, you're familiar with me at all times of the day, right, and so what a weird way to put it. I know, I know, it's just funny because Off the mics, yeah, but I'm so.
AlanI mean like traveling? Yeah, yeah, I've woken up, alan.
KevinI've gotten up at seven o'clock in, gone down to the car and then been in a ten-hour car ride together.
AlanYeah, like that's happened in the morning and you don't so many necessarily know this, because I don't know if you've gotten this feedback, although you probably do know this. You're very Super calm in the morning.
KevinYeah, you don't get up and get after it.
AlanYou have this slow sort of build. I'm let's go, but I also use caffeine, so it depends who I'm with, though.
KevinDepends who I'm with. If I wasn't with you, you wouldn't think that.
AlanWhat do you mean?
KevinYou're the, you're the leader energetically. I don't have to do it, it's different. Oh yeah, it's different. It's different. It depends on who I'm with. It depends on who I'm with and I am super when I wake up, if I'm in a good place and, like I'm, I'm not super stressed out or super overwhelmed and not Really low on sleep.
KevinWell, lately it hasn't seen that way, but I'm Super relaxed in the morning, where you know some people are like very grumpy when they get up. I don't, that's not me. I'm not grumpy when I get up. No, not at all. I'm very.
AlanI'm awake now.
KevinI'm awake, so it's. It's not a big deal, but yeah, I don't think you. You, if you could see me from an outside perspective without you, I don't think you'd think that I had an interesting moment Last week or the week before where I was super down, I Was struggle bus energetically.
AlanYeah, I was sick, super sick. I feel much better now. I my voice is still a little, jeff, but I feel like a million bucks now I Think I'm like 98% probably of my full self. But I was on a meeting with Jerry and shout out to Jerry in and I remember thinking and Jerry and I I hope that you don't take offense to this, I don't think that you will normally, energetically, I lead and Jerry ends doing a. I don't think she'll have a problem with me sharing that she's doing a Detox and so she's been up and down a little bit with this detox. It's a three month thing. It's pretty in depth and it's it's good. Good for you, jerry. But she's been a little bit of lower energy at times and I she's my EA. So I told her before she became my EA, said listen, I'm always Like, I'm always on, so this is gonna be brutal for you Maybe, and she's like no, I'm gay and it's been awesome, by the way. So, jerry, and shout out to you unbelievable, but being my EA must suck Seriously.
KevinIt's like all the time it's all being your business partner has its sucky parts.
AlanBut it's the energy thing where I'm very rarely not the in the better State. Yeah, I'm very rarely not in the higher energy 100 and on this meeting two weeks ago or last week, I forget I was like I don't think I can hang. Jerry in was feeling it, it was great and I was like can you drive? I don't know if I've got it and I had this moment with myself of that's really rare for me and I talked to you really about it later that night. It was like I'm never not in a state where I can perform. I don't want to say never, but rarely, very rarely am I the lower energy human.
KevinI love when you are, though, because I think it's such good perspective for you. Oh obviously not from a negative.
AlanNo, it was good perspective. I remember, just like no wonder why I feel like too much for some people.
KevinYeah, just like when I started going on other podcast I could lead energetically. It was like, oh my, my self-worth went through the roof. It's like, oh my goodness, I'm valuable Because I've said, alan and I have had this conversation behind the scenes and it's gonna sound terrible probably, but I'll explain it. I said one of the best things I ever started doing was going on other podcasts and doing speeches without you.
KevinYeah because when I'm with you, I always feel like you're looking over my shoulder and I always feel like you know when I'm making mistakes and you know when I wanted to say a word, I didn't. I don't think anybody else would ever know.
AlanYou know what's interesting about that? It's it. What do you do about that? There's nothing you can do about that. It's not like I'm not gonna notice, I think it's just I.
KevinDon't know. Yeah, I don't know. I think it's just sorry, oh no, no, you're good, don't do it again. I Think it's just gotten to the point where you and I have done it for so many episodes and speeches and we've been on podcasts and it just gets to the point where I have to be okay with you knowing and you have to be okay with me knowing.
AlanYeah it's just that when I first started being with Emilia. She's also very high energy. Almost all the time she just it's. She's always on I don't want to say always, but 90% on. And there were times early in our relationship where I felt like the lazy one. I Was like am I lazy? Hmm, I want to like watch a movie and eat food. Am I lazy? I think everyone has their own tempo now.
AlanI do agree that everyone should and this is my truth, so don't hate me for this but I think everyone should try to increase their tempo. I do. I think you can slowly, gradually. I mean, kevin and I were talking earlier today about how we do nine episodes a week now, and that's on top of the other things that we're doing, whereas at the beginning we were doing one a week and that felt challenging. I only do eight episodes a week, you do nine.
AlanWell technically it's not nine because it's bi-weekly for the next of audio block.
KevinYou do eight, eight and a half, eight and a half, yeah, eight and a half the point is is that I do want everyone.
AlanI hope that every listener you look back and go wow, I can't believe that used to be hard.
KevinYeah.
AlanBecause that means you're growing right. I mean, that's what growth is. But one of the things that I've found fascinating being with Emilia is she's so holistically well developed that she's always aware of everything. There's nothing I can slip by her if that makes sense, like if I'm Jeff and she'll know it. And she isn't like being mean about it. It's not like she's watching my every move on purpose to make sure I'm a perfect human. It's nothing like that. It's just her consciousness is excellent and I wanna be more excellent around her and it does. It makes me, it pushes me to be more excellent, and I think that that's what I do, hopefully with other people. But how do you do that without being a pain in the butt? I don't know if you do.
KevinI don't know. You make sure that the level of oversight that you have is directly aligned with the size of somebody's goals. Now, I've told you that before. Like if I only wanted to do one episode a week and I was like, yeah, cool, we're good, like we have a successful business, I'm just gonna ride off to the sunset, you would be the biggest pain in the ass. You'd be the biggest and obviously Alan knows I mean that with love. But if it sounds harsh, it's not harsh.
KevinThe honest truth that I don't think enough people really get to terms with is you always will be too much for some people, most likely you specifically. But like, whether you're watching or listening, there are some people that you're just gonna be too much for. I'm too much for some people Not as many as you, but I've caught myself where I'm going off on something I'm super passionate about. It's like this person doesn't care, this person does not care. So you have one of two options you either filter yourself to fit in or you be okay with not. Yeah, not fitting in, not resonating. I'm more okay with filtering myself than you are You're. I know your commitment and your promise and your desire for yourself is to be as authentically, not to have to filter yourself. Be you, be you, be you. But I think for so long you haven't been able to be you, so that's why you crave that so much. Where, for me, I don't know I feel like I have been able to be myself for the most part To your original point, though.
Alanif you said that you, in hindsight, might have struggled with depression a lot of your life, your tempo, your energy levels will naturally be lower than mine.
KevinThat's fair.
AlanI operate at a different frequency, you have? Yeah, I've been jealous.
KevinYeah, I've been jealous of that.
AlanI've been jealous of how easily people like you I don't. Yeah, that was hard to admit by the way.
KevinI appreciate it, not just right now, but in this journey that's been like.
AlanDo I? Am I jealous of Kevin and how everyone likes loves Kevin. And I had to have a real honest talk with myself about that. It's like, yeah, of course I am.
KevinThere's deep downs of that though, Of course.
AlanYeah, Just like it's not like I would trade. I just there's a upside to every downside, there's a downside to every upside, and it would be nice. I don't feel like you have to deal with some of the things I have to deal with, but I also know that I have advantages too.
KevinI definitely don't want the responsibility you have. I have a lot of responsibility, but not as much as you. I would say there was a conversation a while ago about because when we were becoming a company, like a real, actual company, who was going to be the guy, the CEO? What's a good example of what's the role of the CEO? Because I don't want to say boss, because that's not how we don't have it, it's not like that.
AlanNo, Every position comes with an identity and responsibilities, and that's how we see it. We see it as a team, and I don't use employee, I don't even like the word hire, I like team member, because I need the team just as much as the team needs me. And that's just the fucking truth. Let's be honest. I can't do this alone. Shots fired.
KevinDefinitely not.
AlanI know I tried, it was brutal. It really is. How do you create a great team toward a mutually beneficial future? The CEO. That's a hard question to answer.
KevinAs simple as you can.
AlanOh God.
KevinI know that's your specialty, if you were trying to explain it to me at the beginning of this journey. You're like, hey, we're going to start a business together and I'm going to be the CEO. I said what does that mean?
AlanThe best way you can describe it is the orchestra. It's your responsible for the orchestra. You have to know how to play every instrument. You're just not the best at every instrument.
KevinVery well done, thank you. I think that's good, but if the concert sucks, it's on you. Your hand is in everything. We were talking today. I was joking. I said I can understand how people later in life say, yeah, I don't know, it just all worked out Because there are certain departments that I'm not in. So if you purchased a next level dreamliner, that was a department that I have nothing to do with.
AlanShout out to Lizzie. She's weird, lizzie leads that department. Lizzie, is that I talk to? Shout out to Amy Jerry Ann, I hope I'm not missing anyone who contribute. Christina, if I'm missing anyone I'm so sorry, but thank you. Products department. You guys crush and the dreamliner is awesome. As a matter of fact. Shout out to a couple of my clients who just bought one. I have two clients that bought a dreamliner this week, but I was saying I didn't have anything to do with that.
KevinMaybe it's ideas and stuff that we've talked about, but it was the execution was the team you shield bumped me pretty hard on one of those team huddles.
AlanI did I had a little something to do with it it was brutal.
KevinOh goodness, I think we had some newer team members at that point too. It's like well, that was one of the tougher ones that happened. What were we talking about? Some tears?
Alanflew. You were talking about CEO responsibility and you were talking about how you were going to. You could picture, you understand how people later in life they say oh yeah, it just kind of worked out.
KevinYeah Well, I think that's a really good. Maybe I don't know if we should do next level nuggets and freestyle Friday. I think that's a really good. Maybe we'll do freestyle Friday. I needed something that starts with an F. Let me think on it. There's downsides to everything. There's downsides to everything. Yeah, that Somebody was talking to me recently and they said I really want a partner that challenges me in entrepreneurial ways and I said that's awesome, but understand the downsides. When you get home and you don't want to work anymore and the person's pushing you to work, is that aligned? Yeah, but there's, the upsides are amazing. The downsides are there too. So maybe that would kind of be my wrap up of maybe a takeaway.
AlanHas that person ever experienced that?
KevinEvidently not to the degree that they desire.
AlanYeah, it's different. Emilia always says that, like I know I'm so hard to be with, it's like sweetheart. I asked for this this is what I wanted. This is what I've always wanted. Trust me, I've been on the other end where I'm the pain in the butt, driving everything Like think it's so nice. This is something I'll just privately share, not privately share publicly share.
KevinPrivately share. It feels nice to To what did you say? Yeah, privately share, privately share publicly.
AlanYeah, privately, publicly share. Yeah, that would be very nice to talk. This has been really nice for me. It feels and I've told you million of this too it feels unbelievable to know that the, that our bigger, better-bredder future isn't all on my shoulders, it's, it's really we're such a good team. I'm so grateful. It's. It's almost like and this has been really cool with our other business, the we. So we have she has evolved ventures. I have next level University with Kev and we have the we, which is conscious couples podcast is part of that business. That just drop. It just runs itself. It's awesome. It doesn't run itself. Emilia runs it, you know me, it's so gonna be careful. Yeah, yeah, exactly, I'll start selling a course and start a business I haven't run itself but she just, she's such a, she's so good and everyone Listening.
AlanThis will be my freestyle Friday take away. I don't know if that's the what we'll call it.
KevinNo. I got to come up with an F, an F word, and not the one you're thinking of, the higher you want to achieve, the more responsibility that will require and responsibility.
AlanOkay, so next level, live, for example. That is my responsibility, your responsibility and Amy's responsibility, amy's the live event coordinator and then Christina is in charge of the virtual part. We all have responsibility, but it's not equal right and so you have you. I don't think you can achieve real success non ego success, non status perception success without taking on more responsibility in advance, and a lot of people want to achieve things without responsibility and I think that that isn't real or sustainable.
KevinFreestyle Friday F. What's a good F word.
AlanI can only think of one effort when you say that man.
KevinI'll have to think on it, because I think we could probably come up with something pretty clever for that. I I would like to have you on that I'll create some sort of framework. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what it'd be freestyle Friday framework.
KevinWell, we'll come up with something if you have not yet today. So today is legitimately the last day to get tickets Virtually or in person. I suppose you could do it at 8 o'clock in the morning tomorrow, but I'd say, better safe than sorry. We'll have the link in the show notes. It's gonna be amazing. Next level live is here. I am super grateful that some of the teams flying out Thank you to all the team for putting up with us for the last month because obviously event season is heavy. Thank you to everybody who showed interest but can't attend. Thank you to everybody who said they want to attend a future event. We're just super excited. So link will be in the show notes. We'd love to have you, whether virtual or in person, and If you're nervous about it, if you're questioning it, do it for your future self, because it's I promise it'll be worth it. That that's one thing. I promise. It'll be worth it and You're gonna get a lot out of it. That's my guarantee.
AlanI think there will be a moment in that room with every single person there that says I'm so glad that I did this, I'm so glad that I did this, and so your future self will thank you Also. We mentioned the Dreamliner several times. If you are coming in person to next level live, you will be getting a free next level Dreamliner the paperback version, not the hard nine hundred and ninety seven dollar Value right there.
KevinSo wait what? Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. The Dreamliner $997 value free.
AlanThe actual prices are twenty nine dollars and twenty seven dollars on Amazon FLA. So, if you like, two of my clients this week that got Dreamliners Gratitudes. Most important tasks, most important win, most important improvement next level nuggets. I've been using it every single day. I haven't missed a single day in 2024. It's unbelievable. It keeps me on the rails, keeps me climbing toward my dreams, and it is available on Amazon. The link will be in the show notes. There's a paperback version that will come in within two days. The hard copy version I do like better. It's two dollars more and it takes longer to get to you. So Q2 is starting soon. Order as soon as possible so that you can start your 90 days At the beginning of Q2. So January, february, march is over. That's Q1 and then the next three months will be Q2 boom tomorrow for episode number 1651.
KevinImportant thing to understand about Focus. That's what we're gonna talk about tomorrow. Nice as always, yeah, yeah. We love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and an L you. We don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.
AlanKeep taking responsibility. Next one