Next Level University

#1651 - The 2 Types Of Courage

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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In this episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros discuss how we often feel scared or worried that we’re not good enough or what others might think of us. They tell real-life stories that show these everyday struggles and how brave we must be to overcome them.

Links mentioned:
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Bell Curve: https://bit.ly/3PysIro

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NLU is more than just a podcast; we have many more resources to help you achieve your goals and dreams.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

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Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

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Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(4:05) Which do you have?
(7:23) Victim, villain, hero, guide metaphor
(9:55) Masking and humor
(15:54) Intention and energy
(16:45) Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/f1FWAQA
(19:07) Social fears
(22:42) Relationships
(25:21) Bell curve sample: https://bit.ly/3PysIro
(34:29) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Speaker 1

Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode. Episode number 1651, important thing to understand about focus. We talked about mission and we talked about purpose. We talked about goals and all that happy jazz. Today, for episode number 1651, the two types of courage. Spoiler alert in retrospect, in reflection, I don't know if I had either of these two types of courage and I think that's why life was struggle-busting for me for a long period of time, until we started this journey.

Speaker 2

Do you wanna open up with? I had a question that I think might be relevant. It's not relevant.

Speaker 1

I know it's not. Yeah, I was gonna say this is gonna get very strange very quickly that I'm here for it.

Speaker 2

Where did you get the saying all that happy jazz Wow who knows?

Speaker 1

I don't think I ever heard that before you. I probably heard it in a movie. I'd have to assume it would be a movie or Most likely a comedy film or an old person that I spent time around All that happy jazz. I worked with some older gentlemen at several of my jobs. They might've said that.

Speaker 2

Nice.

Speaker 1

You know how I say. Don't let that bother ya.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

I'll say that behind the scenes, like we'll make a big mistake, and I'll say, ah, don't let that bother ya. I worked with a guy his name was Harry. Harry drove a boom truck. So if you get, let's say you're doing a renovation on a third floor of a house a boom truck comes and it delivers the sheet rock and it booms it up to the window and you pull it in so you don't have to carry it upstairs. Nice. And Harry was a reckless individual and he would go boom over power lines and he would just do all sorts of reckless stuff. And if you ever said, like Harry, you think this is safe, he would just look at you and say, ah, kev, don't let that bother ya. And he would go do the reckless thing. So that's where I got that.

Speaker 2

No kidding no kidding, the origin story of said sayings. Said sayings Interesting.

Speaker 1

Kev, all four of you who are left listening at this point, let's get into it.

Speaker 2

Let's get into it Two types of courage. You already articulated that you and expressed that you didn't have either one. In hindsight, can you share a story that would illuminate that?

Speaker 1

Oh man. Well, the two types of courage are competence. Well, you should probably explain that first.

Speaker 2

So I can then tell a story. This is really going off.

Speaker 1

This is our first episode together. We're gonna try. We're really. We hope that we get better as we go.

Speaker 2

Yeah for sure. The first type of courage is competence. So imagine you are fearful. Imagine you're giving a speech. All right, one person is deeply fearful socially, so that one type of courage is social courage. The other one is competence. So if you're gonna give a speech, are you fearful that you're not gonna give a valuable speech or are you fearful that you are gonna be disliked? So for me, prior to a speech. So we're doing Next Level Live. My fear is not that it's not gonna be valuable or not, that I'm gonna be incompetent. I feel like I will be articulate. I feel like I'll be able to express value. I know that the presentation is very valuable.

Speaker 2

I know that this is a life-changing day for anyone who really comes with humility, gratitude and a growth mindset. I'm not concerned about my competence, I am concerned with being villainized, and so, for me, the courage that I need is focused on the social aspect. I'm fearful to be villainized, I'm fearful that I'll be disliked, so I have to overcome that if I wanna step on that stage, and I have to be vulnerable in that while on stage, otherwise my protectors will come up and I won't connect with the audience. So, for you, I think you're more fearful of not being competent than you are of being disliked, and I think that that's really where this episode came from. So there's two types of courage. One is not feeling competent enough, smart enough, good enough, mastered your craft enough. The other one is social, and a lot of people are afraid of both, but I think we all have a bigger one.

Speaker 1

And the courage. Part of it is doing the thing that you're afraid of, Doing the thing that's harder for you, because if you're good at one, it probably seems easier when I look back. I've told the story before. I don't know if I've ever told this specific, but the competence. A great example of this for me was when I was in the fire academy. So I went through the Massachusetts Volunteer Fire Academy and we would have what do we have? I think we had three classes a week and it was like Monday, Thursday, Saturday. Monday and Thursday were classroom days and then Saturdays were practicals and we use the jaws of life on one of the practicals we would do, live fire trainings we would do.

Speaker 1

One of my favorite ones was you got locked in a dark room and you had to untie your breathing apparatus and get it working within a certain amount of time and on your face and on air, which was wild, it was a scary thing, even though you were safe. One of the things we did was we were practicing attaching a hose to a fire hydrant and I was so afraid that I didn't know how to do it and I was gonna make a fool of myself that I just didn't try. I just said, like no, I'm good, Like I understand I'm good, and everybody was taking turns doing it. I was just so afraid to look like an idiot that I just didn't do it. So that's an example of competence, but one of the reasons I was afraid to do it, but you also were afraid of being embarrassed.

Speaker 2

So that was both.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I had both, for sure 100%.

Speaker 2

I think I connected this. I could be wrong. This happened just just doing this episode. This first time I've ever talked about courage, this in depth. I Think I've done the victim, villain, hero, guide thing. So if you've ever seen a movie, I'll go quick with this. But the victim is someone who gets abused on some level some sort of trauma, tragedy by the villain, and then the victim becomes the hero of the story and then eventually becomes the guide and I use Harry Potter. So Harry Potter's parents were killed. He was the victim. The villain is obviously Voldemort, and then he becomes the hero of his own story and he fights against Voldemort and then eventually he becomes the guide after Dumbledore passes away and then he breaks the elder one breaks the elder wand.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I know, it's a moment.

Speaker 2

That's the moment that he becomes the the guide instead.

Speaker 1

Of the old elder wand.

Speaker 2

That's the moment when Harry Potter is good enough as he is. So I just connected this. I think the victim is is Afraid of both afraid to be incompetent and afraid of social. So afraid afraid of being disliked, getting embarrassed social fear and competence fear. I Think the villain is actually not afraid of social fear, meaning they don't care what anyone thinks because their ego is so big, to the episode we talked about a couple, a couple episodes ago, where they don't care about people. So why would they care if people, what people think, and the if you think of a bully, they're pretending not to care at all what people think and maybe deep down, they do, and it's all ego.

Speaker 2

Okay, and that's the villain. And then the hero, I think, is not afraid of competence but is actually afraid of being villainized or afraid of being lashed out at or Whatever. And the guide I think now I'm connecting this now is someone who owns the fact that they're afraid of both and Overcomes that through courage. I'm afraid to be incompetent, I'm afraid to be Unlovable, I'm afraid to be disliked, I'm afraid of social Courage and I'm afraid of competent courage, maybe not equally, but I am, especially with the mountains I'm climbing, quote-unquote. But I'm gonna have courage anyway. I think the guide is someone who admits they're afraid to themselves and then faces those fears, and then they can guide others.

Speaker 1

Yeah, that's sort of a bright light, so I just connected all that from this episode when you were talking, it's I.

Speaker 1

Think one of the reasons you would probably think I'm more socially comfortable than I am is just because I'm more socially comfortable than you are. So, you don't know, it probably looks like I'm super comfortable. But like when, when I I was never super into the bars, but I had a time when I was like probably 22 or 23 where I would go to the bar like three nights a week Thursday, friday, saturday. We would go get hammered and spend just dumb amounts of money that I couldn't afford to spend. The only way I'd ever go is if I was drinking. I would never go to the bar sober ever, because it's it, it. That's a challenge, but going and drinking is easy.

Speaker 1

I can make friends. I am super good at making friends with people when I'm drunk. Amazing, am I? If you put me in a room with a hundred people and you say go make friends with 98 of these people, yeah, that's a lot, 50 of these people I am certain I could do it. I've made friends with people at Sporting events to the point where they're buying us beer. I've made friends with People at bars to the point where we go to the bar With the next bar with them. Like, I'm really good at that. That's when I'm drunk, because I'm very outgoing. I'm not like that when I'm sober.

Speaker 2

I always felt my social courage wasn't needed as much when I was drinking too.

Speaker 1

It's easy when you're drinking, because you don't really care.

Speaker 2

Yeah, your number to the yeah. It's like again to the episode we did earlier the week. Yeah.

Speaker 1

If somebody rejects you, you just can kind of like laugh it off because it doesn't really hit you. It's like, ah, okay, whatever. And then you're on to the next thing. I'll go find some, I'll go talk to somebody else, but that's not courage. Yeah, I know that's, that's masking.

Speaker 2

Yeah, numbing.

Speaker 1

Courage is feeling the fear, feeling the emotions, feeling the pain, and it's proceeding anyway, one of the one of the pages that I I don't really follow it, but it's it's one that popped up. It's like a, it's like a positive marijuana page on Instagram and I the message is dangerous because it's like, you know, when life gets too heavy, it'll be like a meme. It'll be like when life gets too heavy and then it'll have somebody like smoking weed. That's an escape, that's. That's dangerous. To glorify something like that, that's a dangerous thing because then it's like well, when life gets heavy, just escape Versus Using it as a supplement.

Speaker 2

Yeah, humor.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I'm her is Often times and we've all been in situations with family dinners, whatever where things start to get heavy and then humor is brought up. I'll do this on coaching sessions. Emile and I would do relationship talks, coaching, and it's four-way sessions, so there's another couple and us, and when it gets too heavy and I can tell it's a little too much for one of the individuals typically the male I'll make a joke. And and the reason why I know you do this for us too, even on the podcast, when you can tell I'm getting too deep, too heavy, maybe there's a time and a place in an optimal amount for everything, but if you use that too much, you never go deep and if you never go deep.

Speaker 2

You never feel the true feelings, that your humor gets increased the more pressure you're under. Today we're a couple days out from a live event. It's You've been in the pressure cooker. You've been really funny. But is the funny to make it lighter and more enjoyable in the suck or is it to avoid your problems? And I would say it's definitely the first one. I like making you laugh, that's one of the things it's the best.

Speaker 1

Making you laugh, or making people laugh in general, makes me feel good, so for me it's like it's the best I know I can make Alan laugh here.

Speaker 2

But do you believe that your humor was a protector in the past? That Definitely Okay. Yeah, can you go into that?

Speaker 1

Yeah, I don't know if I have any really good examples, because I never I don't know. I feel like you see You're seeing such a unique side of me that didn't really exist the way it exists today. Obviously, right, same for you, but I don't think I was I don't know. No, I actually don't think humor is really a mask. I don't.

Speaker 2

Any more? Did you ever think it was in the past?

Speaker 1

No no.

Speaker 2

Okay, do you think it is for other people?

Speaker 1

I definitely think it can be. I think one of the reasons that comedians I mean there's been a lot of overdoses and not healthy comedians I think one of the reasons is probably because they are really good at making light of very, very challenging situations, right. But for me it's always been I like to make people feel good. Like I told you this recently, matt when I hang out with Matt, there are certain times where I can just get him. It's just one of those things where I'm waiting and I'm like that's the moment and he's going to spit out his drink. It's that I like, that.

Speaker 1

I really, really enjoy that a lot. There's the timing of it that I just I've always enjoyed. And it's like speaking, like when you have a dramatic pause, it's really powerful and you can kind of you can take people on a journey with that. I think comedy is the same thing. So, no, I think for me it's been more of a it makes me feel good because it makes other people feel good. Alcohol was an escape, for sure. I would say weed was an escape in the past, for sure.

Speaker 2

How do you know when something is an escape?

Speaker 1

that is Intention.

Speaker 2

Because when we say escape to bring this back to courage, the escape is let's numb the fear instead of face the fear. Yeah, the courageous road is face the fear. The escape is numb the fear. Pretend you're not-. You either pretend you're not afraid or you avoid. So what was your answer? Again?

Speaker 1

Intention. If you have a If you say I had a really bad day, I need a drink, like that's a potentially dangerous game, because if the intention is, I need to numb myself because I had such a stressful day. That's different than like, say, pops is coming over and I'm gonna have a whiskey with pops Because we're playing cards and that's sometimes we have a whiskey together. I think it's the intention and I think it's the energy of it. If you're really, really, really down and you're going to something because you're down, I don't know, maybe it means that it's more of an escape, but I can't I can't claim to have it have that piece figured out, because I've been on I've been on bullfends. There was a time where I was I was getting high every single day, without fail, without it didn't matter Up or down, best mood or worst mood. So even back then Was that?

Speaker 1

an escape At times.

Speaker 2

yeah, Do you think that was because you didn't have the courage to face your own life? I know this is like that probably sounded a little bit tacky.

Speaker 2

But I do think, for me, alcohol was at times, me not wanting to face social fears. It's almost like if I numb myself down and I drink I'll be less intelligent, I'll be less intimidating, I'll be more fun, I'll be more present, I'll be less intense, I won't be too much. It lightens it up. It lightens it up and sometimes that was great, and I think a lot of the time it was a coping mechanism to to fit in. I do believe that I honestly think alcohol helped me fit in. It definitely did. Well, what are you gonna do?

Speaker 1

Go to a place and be the sober guy and then every you're just gonna be miserable because everybody there is drunk and it's the worst. Well, maybe I didn't have the courage to not go.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think I did. I had I didn't have the courage to not go. Yeah, I didn't want to be alone or or I didn't want to be talked bad about that I never show up. Or maybe I was afraid to lose friends, but I didn't have the courage to stay in alignment with my goals and dreams. Yeah, in hindsight, again at the time I didn't know that.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it's understandable though, yeah, even going back to but it was all based on the fear of Losing my voice. We've talked about this a lot in the past Fear of being alone. Like I have kind of lost a lot of my friends from I had high school friends, college friends, corporate friends, I mean I don't but be real, is it-?

Speaker 1

Is it-? Is it harder to imagine doing what it would take to keep those people in your life versus not having them in it?

Speaker 2

It's very clear now that trying to dilute who I am, to try to make relationships work that aren't aligned, is way more work, yeah, than what it's worth. But back then I didn't know that. Unconsciously I was afraid of being alone, right right.

Speaker 2

I had no idea that that was running me and dude, honestly and this is something I've come to recently I lost three families by the time I'm 14 years old. I know which. I didn't even get it. I didn't even know that till my 30s, and I'll go very briefly with this for the new listeners.

Speaker 2

I know I've talked about this recently, but stepfather left and took his whole family with him at 14. We didn't talk to my birth father's side from 3 to 14. So my whole childhood I didn't have my birth father's side because we were pretending me, my stepdad and my mom and my sister were a family unit. I changed my name from McCorkle to Lazarus so we were and then my mom and her sister got in a fight, so we got ostracized from that side of the family too. So I lost three families by the time I'm 14 and my sister moved out at that same time. I didn't realize how brutal that was. I mean, I must have been the most miserable person in the entire world, but I had to figure it out and I didn't know how I was going to go to college because we didn't have any money. My stepdad took 90% of the income with him and I've recently reflected on this in therapy and I wrote a blog about it. But talk about abandonment issues. Are you kidding?

Speaker 2

me oh my god, everything I ever knew up until 14 years old was basically gone within one year. And then, luckily, we reconnected with my birth father's side and they were very kind and welcomed me back, us, back, the family back. But dude like that must have created so much trauma. I probably was so afraid to be abandoned. No wonder why I clung on to every friendship that I possibly could and then I drank to fit in. I didn't know any of this at the time. I go on other podcasts now and I share these stories and I always say just make it. I need to make it clear. I rewatched the movie of my life from a higher sense of awareness. I had no clue at 14 that that wasn't normal. I mean, I knew it wasn't normal, but I didn't know to this extent. I mean that's just. I'm sad for that, that's. I mean whoa. So my social fears make sense.

Speaker 2

Of course, but they weren't conscious. I didn't know, I don't know. Nothing is Nothing is Not until the I For Conscious podcast. That's right. Change the way you think. Change the way you act change the way you live.

Speaker 1

That's the hard part about something happening that young is. I think it puts you off track, not like the normal, I don't even know how to explain it. The normal gets. The normalcy gap gets wider the longer you run from it. And imagine if you're just coming up on, imagine if you were 45 and you had that realization. I know the gap between, like what you thought was normal and what your normal was would be so much bigger. I know that's what makes it super challenging.

Speaker 2

But in hindsight, that's where a lot of my social fears came from, which is fear of losing people I've always had. I don't know why.

Speaker 1

I've always had a fear of losing people.

Speaker 2

That's why, after the Bernard Burchard event, I cried Because you got arrogant and I was like, oh, if he's arrogant, I'm screwed and I'm going to lose another best friend. And I immediately cried and freaked out and you were like what the hell is going on? What's going on? Man?

Speaker 1

I'm the man, what are you?

Speaker 2

doing At the time? I didn't know, I didn't know.

Speaker 1

Neither did I. Why are you like I'm eating my McDonald's cheeseburger and I turn around and you're crying? I don't know why I went. I feel like I kind of went the other way, even though dad left when I was young and I had some other family issues happening with abandonment as well. But for me it's almost like I don't know. I never thought I was going to be successful. That was my thing. I was never afraid to be successful and alone. I was afraid to just not be successful, not to be able to provide for myself, not to be able to provide for whatever family I had. That was my thing. That's why I always say my relationship with relationships is weird.

Speaker 2

Well, is there anyone in your extended family that provided enough for everybody? No, maybe that's what you aspired to and maybe that caused a lot of pain. There wasn't a huge abundance of wealth. It's not like you came from a giant abundance of wealth.

Speaker 1

Well, I think it's one of those things it would make sense that you would correlate lack and scarcity.

Speaker 1

I don't want it to be this way forever. That's like I don't. You know we Growing up one of my serious goals was to buy a house because my family had never We've rented. We rented my whole life. We never owned a house. I never lived in a house. I lived in a duplex for most of my life and again, nothing wrong with that. But for me it was like everybody. All my friends have houses, all of them. Like it went to your house. You had a house again. Did I know what was going on? No, my, my Kevin thought I was rich, I thought you were rich and my.

Speaker 2

in your defense we kind of were a little bit.

Speaker 1

Yeah, my, my other, one of my other best friends he his family get his first car. His family gave him. He had like a muscle car, it's like 16 mm-hmm, and then we used to take he used to drive in a school because he has license for me and he had like a $65,000 truck that he took to school. Like I didn't have any of that. I had none of that. So they were like kind of well off.

Speaker 1

My other best friend at the time, like his family, had ATV's and they used to go on vacation and they Were always having like a really nice dinners and they owned where they lived. So it was always like I just want, I just want that. I think we all want what we think is normal until we realize what we think is normal isn't normal, because our Definition of normal isn't normal. So there is no such thing. Well said, there's no such thing, and that's always been one of my and we're gonna talk. Well, we, if you're listening to this, we talked about this at next level live, can I say it? Yeah, yeah, cuz it already happened. One of my favorite, one of my favorite things to know, because this launches at like 5 am.

Speaker 1

So no Sunday, this is Sunday. Oh, this is Sunday. Yeah, yeah, it's already happened. You and I are gonna be slumbering.

Speaker 2

It already happened. I'm gonna be sleeping a little adventure and grottin with you. Amelia, you're going on an adventure on Sunday.

Speaker 1

Yeah, sunday, nice, nice. What was I saying before you took me off the rails?

Speaker 2

with venture in the Tesla. You were gonna talk about what we were gonna talk about at next level live.

Speaker 1

Oh yeah, one of my favorite questions when we used to have guests that were therapists or counselors or whatever in the in that space Was how do you somebody know how normal they're? Normal was knowing there's no real answer. There is no answer. You can't. You couldn't possibly because there's no such thing.

Speaker 2

You do. A way to know that is to know the bell curve and know the spectrum, and the only way to do that is to meet a big enough sample, set Science and study them deeply. Yeah, science coaching has done that for me. Yeah, it helps, it helps tremendously different industries, different backgrounds, different countries, hundreds, if not thousands, of people at this point.

Speaker 1

It's not hundreds, hundreds, yeah, yeah, it's not a you thing, it's a thing. Yeah, exactly, it's not a you thing is a thing.

Speaker 2

I think when we say normal, normal means bell curve. Normal means and, and for those of you who haven't done statistics or studies statistics it just means that Okay. So if you take a hundred people in a room, how many people have eaten? Eat McDonald's once this year? Okay, the majority of people would. Would be in the middle of the bell curve. Very few people have eaten it every day. That's the far right of the bell curve. Very few people have not eaten it at all, and, and the majority of us have eaten it maybe once a month or something. That's. That's what a bell curve, yeah math, just Google it.

Speaker 1

I'd say Google it because I don't know about her. Yeah, I don't know if that's gonna help. No, that was brutal, I think. Maybe it was like you have some people that make zero dollars, you have some people that make a million dollars but people fall in the middle, like more people make a certain yeah, I don't know yeah okay, I would just Google it. Yeah, google, google, google, bell.

Speaker 2

Bell curve.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I mean if that's what you want to do after you listen to this episode. More power to you. If not, it's just a study of humans. What's your next level, nugget?

Speaker 2

I would like you to explain bell curve better than I did, because I think it's important. I really do have the bell curve has to do with that.

Speaker 1

Bell curve is pretty much. What's the shape? It's like a big, it's a, it's a big hill that comes to the top and then it goes back down, but it's the same shape.

Speaker 2

Yeah, same size. It's a side, same, yeah, so it's like a valley and then a mountain and then a valley on the other side, of equal proportion.

Speaker 1

Yeah, it's really hard to. I Don't know, I don't know, I don't even know how to explain. I would say it's probably like income.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

Like the average, let's just say the average American, I think probably makes like sixty five thousand dollars a year, so most people so it would be zero dollars.

Speaker 1

Yeah, this, the center, would be sixty five thousand at the very. If you're looking at it, the very left would be like zero dollars. Like, this person does not make any money, this person is without a home, unfortunately, on the very opposite end of that would be somebody who is a billionaire. There's very few billionaires, unfortunately, even in this like there's probably more people without homes than there are billionaires, unfortunately. So it wouldn't really work. But yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I could know it would work if you took a random sample.

Speaker 2

That's what you're missing if you took a random hundred people. Okay, most likely one's a millionaire and one is homeless, but the majority are at sixty five. Yeah, yeah, between like sixty five and eight.

Speaker 1

So so I just Google it okay. Yeah, I would just have solution. There's some things that should just be googled. It's a visual thing.

Speaker 2

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I'm a visual learner, so I know if I try to learn from the way I just explained it, I never would production team.

Speaker 2

Can you please find a good image of a bell curve to please put in the show notes for people?

Speaker 1

right on, right on. My next level nugget would be Courage is the answer to everything. If you don't want to share something you know you should, courage is needed. If you are afraid to apply for a job you know you would love but you're afraid you won't get, courage is needed. Courage is such an amazing thing but it is hard and that's why it's called courage. It's not as courageous for me to share some of the stuff I shared, or Alan's share what he shared today, because it's not that hard, because we've done it so many times. It doesn't require courage To cry on this podcast because we've done it before, but if you haven't podcasted before, it might require courage to jump on camera for the first time if that's something you're insecure about.

Speaker 2

Well, I would say it doesn't require as much courage as it used to yeah, I just I don't really for me.

Speaker 1

I don't think it requires any. That's why I don't think, definitely does for me.

Speaker 2

I don't, I don't even share it earlier with the losing three families, my sister moving out, all that that took. It's just not level 10 courage, because it's not a level 10 fear. That would be my next level nugget, which is if you have a level three.

Speaker 1

I'm in the middle of mine. You're gonna steal my, you're gonna steal my momentum with the next level nugget and then take from what I was gonna say and then use it as your next level nugget. That took courage. That did take her.

Speaker 2

You know you go ahead. I thought you said you weren't done.

Speaker 1

I'm done. I've been derailed. I've lost my momentum.

Speaker 2

All right, my next level nugget is number one. You have to admit that you're afraid in order to be intentional with courage. Number two If you have level three fear, you're gonna need level three courage in order to face that fear. And so the size of the fear, that's gonna be the size of the courage to overcome it. And so if you, you know, if you're afraid of Sharks, don't jump in shark infested waters. That is dangerous. But what you could do is Watch a video on sharks and how, statistically, they're not as dangerous as you think. That might be a level one courage.

Speaker 1

Again, bad analogies today, but you ever had a dolphin before you're touched a dolphin? I don't think so I went. Well, I went swimming with dolphins. One time I went, my mom took me on a cruise when I was a young boy and there, and I would never do it again because I feel bad for the dolphins. Like I didn't understand at that point, like yeah turner, I don't go to zoos, I'm not into that stuff.

Speaker 2

like leave the animals where they should be.

Speaker 1

It's, it's weird but at the time I didn't million, I same deal can't do it.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I can't do it.

Speaker 1

Can't do it, but it bugs me, bugs me. They feel like you think they would Is the best way to say, like if you think to yourself like what does a dolphin feel like based on their shiny but waterproof skin? It's kind of probably what you think it is. Thank you for that.

Speaker 2

You're welcome. That's my secondary.

Speaker 1

Next, okay, thank you so much if you are struggling to find Growth-minded people and you feel like you're struggling socially. Dolphin, it is the way you think it is most likely. Please join our private Facebook group, next level nation. The reason it's private Is not to keep you out. It's so you are safe when you get in. I know sometimes when we say private you might think like, oh, do I have to Fill this out or be a certain way to get in? No, it's just because we want to make sure that Once you get in you don't have to worry about other people judging you, and I know the last thing you want when you're on a growth journey is Somebody who doesn't like you, or an ex or somebody that you have bad blood with Creep it on you. That's one of the reasons. Private, so link will be in the show notes.

Speaker 2

We'd love to have you there if you're a listener of this show, you Belong in that group and we hope to see you there and, when you're in there, find Kevin and I send us a message.

Speaker 2

We would love to connect with you. We love to meet our listeners and we were just talking earlier about how certain team members Amy, linus and, you know, jerry in and, and Brandon and Christina and all these people and Laura and again I don't want to leave anyone out, but they were all at one point, listeners of this podcast who connected with us on something In some way. And, by the way, team, if I missed you, I apologize, lizzie shout out to everybody. Shout out to everybody. I always don't like when I don't. I don't want to miss anybody, but yeah, your memories better than mine.

Speaker 1

That's why I just say the team, because I know I'll forget, I'll forget, I forget you.

Speaker 2

There are 11 of us and if I missed you please don't be offended, but the point is, at one point they were all listeners and they connected with us. So you never know what can come of it, and I hope that you connect with Kevin and I and, who knows, maybe it'll be a win-win-win Scenario in the future that could have never manifested if we didn't connect. So I hope that you reach out and connect with us. We love to meet our listeners and please do please do tomorrow for episode number 1652.

Speaker 1

Don't let people lessen your success this way. I have a really cool story about this that I've been waiting to share because I had the thought, but I don't really have a good story, I don't know how to make it connect, so we're gonna try tomorrow. Hopefully it'll go better than today's episode did. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and an L you. We do not have fans, we have family. We will talk to some of you tomorrow.

Speaker 2

I connect with you soon. Next level nation.

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host