#1662 - Doubling Down On Your Strengths Or Working On Your Weaknesses

In today’s episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros discuss personal growth and how it ties to doing well at work. They ask if it’s better to focus on what you’re good at or improve where you’re not strong by sharing personal stories and discussing how work skills change over time. Keeping your values while moving up at work is essential, and being humble and understanding others is vital for career growth. These traits help keep us grounded and ensure success doesn’t change how we see things.

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Show notes:
(2:52) Personal and professional development
(4:44) Two prefaces
(6:42) For holistic success
(11:55) Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching. https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/group-coaching/
(13:02) Values, alignment, and relationships
(14:44) You can reverse engineer the good and the bad
(17:21) Kevin’s resume
(19:01) Starting points matter
(21:28) Perspective
(24:48) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode, episode number 1,661, can Procrastination Be Good? I actually sent the episode to a client who was struggling with that Today. For episode number 1,662, doubling down on your strengths or working on your weaknesses so you've been on a lot of podcasts.

Speaker 1 0:32

I've been on a lot of podcasts and I've noticed that oftentimes I will go on a podcast that is maybe business focused and the host of that podcast will have very little personal development in terms of connection with their emotions, understanding their ego, understanding their triggers, vulnerability, any of that. It's really hard to go to a vulnerable place with someone who hasn't worked on themselves internally. But I've also gone on a lot of shows that are super spiritual and super, I would say, super self-improvement and personal growth. But when I talk to them I can tell that behind the scenes there's not a lot of organization and there's not a lot of strategy and there's not a lot of long-term focus, and that's where I started. I started on that end, so I'm not making that wrong, but our goal in today's episode is to talk about that.

Speaker 1 1:34

Maybe you're really good at personal development. You've worked diligently on yourself and you understand your traumas and your triggers and you are comfortable with your ego and you're vulnerable and all that. Or maybe you're on the other end, where you're really good at professional development, you're dialed in, you're strategic, you're organized. I am not that I'm far more the first one than that, but at the beginning of this journey, I don't really think I had much of either. When I started, I went all in on personal development. I went all in on why am I triggered? What do I not like about this part of my ego? What is this? What does this mean? Why, what, how, all of that. And then eventually, as Alan and I got closer and closer and worked together more and more, then I started to come up on my professional development. But odds, odds are you're probably really good at one, odds are you're probably better at one than you are the other. And the goal in this episode is to figure out what do you do?

Speaker 2 2:33

about that. So the idea underneath this is we are all righty or lefty, so everyone think of their own. I'm a righty, kev, also righty. I am a righty, okay, for some reason. Also righty, I am a righty, okay, for some reason. There's certain things that are lefty, like are you lefty in hockey?

Speaker 1 2:49

I'm lefty in nothing oh.

Speaker 2 2:51

For some reason I'm lefty in hockey and snowboarding, no idea why.

Speaker 1 2:55

When I tore my labrum. I tore my left shoulder when I was grappling back in the day and I taught myself how to fight southpaw, which is technically lefty. So kind of I can fight both ways Lefty already.

Speaker 2 3:09

There you go. The weakness turned into a strength A hundred percent.

Speaker 1 3:11

Now that your shoulder's semi-back no, no, it's good, we're good, we're a well-oiled machine.

Speaker 2 3:16

Nice, okay. So everyone think of what they are. So I'm righty, kevin's righty I'm going to call righty professional development. In this analogy, it's a metaphor. So I many of our listeners I want to use us as an example, but I want you thinking of you and the reason I want to use us as an example.

Speaker 2 3:32

There's two prefaces to this discussion. The first one is we're probably going to be overly generalizing ourselves a little bit here, just to make the point. So don't don't read too far into that. It's not like we were all or nothing, okay. The second piece is everyone is stronger in one that I've met. Everyone that I've met is either personally developed that needs more professional development or they're professionally developed and needs more personal development more professional development, or they're professionally developed and needs more personal development. And so what I want every listener to walk away with today is the understanding of which one is your strength and which one could use work, because you'd be amazed at what you could do if you're ambidextrous. So like on the basketball court, when a defender could figure out that I can't drive to the basket with my left hand. They would just stay on my right and I'd be screwed. So I had to learn how to do this weird hookshot thing, and what I should have done is just actually practice my left. The point that I'm making, though, is that if you, if you, are overly dominant on one and this is what I've found too.

Speaker 2 4:39

So I have mentors that are multi, multi, multi millionaires, and they're very professionally developed 12 out of 10. But their marriages suffer, their family life suffers, they often are divorced. They're not really connected to their emotions. They think everyone else is emotional, which I think has some truth to it, but really, what it is instead of everyone else is emotional. What if you're just not connected to your emotion? Right, and so that's the someone, the person who's professionally developed but not personally developed, and I went to college with a lot of those people, and, again, I'm generalizing, so be careful of the generalizations, but, to prove the point, I think it's important.

Speaker 2 5:21

Then there's these people that I meet that are heart-driven. They're incredible. Then there's these people that I meet that are heart-driven. They're incredible. They're well-developed, they're emotionally intelligent, they're mature, they have self-awareness through the roof. They don't even think they do, which is hilarious. They're humble, they're hard-working, they're holistic, but they just don't win in their career. This has always bothered me, kev. Why don't heart-driven people win in the economy? It's always bothered me. Now again, generalization please don't overtake what I just said. Some people that are heart-driven and emotionally intelligent do actually win in their career and, believe it or not, in the 21st century, I'm finding that the leaders who are both are like the most powerful in terms of influence and positive impact, and I aspire to be that. So all of you already know this intuitively. If you've been listening to Kevin and I for a long time, kevin was more personally, growth-oriented, inner work, self-awareness, talking about his emotions, talking about vulnerability, talking about humility, talking about his character, about vulnerability, talking about humility, talking about his character focused on the man excuse me, the man that he becomes For me prior to 26, prior to my car accident, prior to my quarter-life crisis transformation, I was all professional development.

Speaker 2 6:39

I was the way I say it in other podcasts is, I was an achiever who was always improvement oriented. Everything I did, I improved, but I never improved on self. I wasn't focused on self-improvement. I was focused on improvement of skills improvement of craft, improvement in writing, reading, math, science, improvement in academics, improvement in snowboarding, basketball, video games, whatever it is. So I was super achievement oriented, super improvement oriented, but it wasn't self-improvement, so I would achieve at the expense of fulfillment. My relationships usually weren't as good as my career. Kev, I think, was the opposite, and so, again, overgeneralization, but we drove to five. So he was personally well-developed for the most part. Well, in quotations, well, well right, and I was professionally developed.

Speaker 2 7:30

And you do need both to succeed. If you want to succeed holistically, if you just want to be successful in the economy, you really don't need the personal development side. Unfortunately you really don't, and that's very clear if you look at some of what's going on in the globe. Uh, and if you? But? But what I will say is if you want to be successful in your intimate relationship, definitely if you want to be fulfilled as a human being, if you want to be a great parent or a great friend or a great mother, father, daughter, whatever it is, you need personal development. You do. And so the question here becomes which one are you? And how do we work on the other one? Because if what you wanted was what you needed, you'd already have it. I playfully say if you want a coach, you probably need a therapist. That was me. If you want a therapist, you probably need a coach. Kev had a therapist before I did. Honestly, you should have both. I don't want to say should, but I recommend having both.

Speaker 2 8:32

I had dozens of mentors and coaches, but I didn't have any therapists until my 30s and that's been tremendously powerful for me because it got me to look inward. That's what all our calls are. It's all about inner stuff. We don't talk about the economy on my therapy calls, but with my mentors and coaches, that's all it was. Robotics, companies, tech companies, how does it work? Business acumen, finance, org structure, organization, prudence, discipline, long-term strength, thinking that's all I ever talked about with those people.

Speaker 2 9:04

We weren't talking about their marriages. I could just tell their marriages weren't good. That actually is one of the reasons why I moved on from some of my mentors. I realized they don't have the life I want. So on this podcast, next level university, the NLU Indians out there we want a holistic life. We don't want to be just righty or lefty. We don't want just a great marriage. We want a great marriage and a great career. We don't want just a great career and a terrible marriage. We want to be healthy, wealthy and in love, and the only way to do that is to identify which one's your strength, continue working on it and identify which one's your weakness and really focus on that, because it's not a natural focus.

Speaker 1 9:50

Yeah, you don't think there's benefits to it. I think that's the other thing is if you look at someone. If you look at someone and say, oh, that person's super emotional because they're in touch with their emotions and you villainize that you're never going to want that for yourself. And if you look at someone who's very dialed in and they always show up, they're always put together, they're super organized, and you say, oh, my goodness, that sounds exhausting. You're probably not going to want to do more of that.

Speaker 2 10:17

You're never going to become what you villainize. Yeah, yeah, and you and I have been each other's I guess savior for lack of better phrasing in many ways, because we learned how to value one another, which made us un-villainize the other side.

Speaker 1 10:34

Well, I think we were willing to admit that the other person had something that we valued. I think we were willing to admit that the other person had something that we valued. Yeah, and it was like you had success and maybe I had relationships. I was good with relationships, people liked me, whatever, or the emotional intelligence side or the vulnerability, whatever, but at least we had the courage to say well, it can definitely be triggering to spend time with someone on the opposite end, but if they have results that you value, I think it's worth it, as long as it's aligned, as long as they're not toxic and as long as they're aligned, the type of person that they are, their character, is aligned.

Speaker 1 11:19

You can pick up a lot by spending time around someone positive and negative but if they have results that you want, I think it would be very, very beneficial to spend more time. And that's why social media is so challenging, because you don't really get to see what the person's really like, so you don't know if they're behind the scenes. They're dialed in. Just because they're frolicking on the beach doesn't mean that's all they do. Yeah, that might be a half hour a day right it.

Speaker 2 11:44

I know some people that are. That are their. Their entire social media posts are lifestyle. Understandable, of course, but behind the scenes they're absolute animals just dialed in yeah, they do not miss a trick.

Speaker 2 11:59

But then I've seen the opposite too. There's this one guy I went on his podcast, keep it Anonymous. He looks the most dialed in dude in the world and I know behind the scenes he's not. I just know it. And that's the problem is, it's not until you get to know someone. And that's why mentors and coaches and therapists are so powerful, because you build a relationship that's deeper than social media. You build a relationship that's deeper than hanging out at a wedding, and so you get to know. Oh, that's why he's so successful.

Speaker 2 12:34

I study I always, and again I'm weird, so preface I always and again I'm weird, so preface. But like, I always find the three things that made someone successful. Every time I meet someone, I'm like what are the three things that, like, made most of their 80% of their results? That's like a thing I do. So Emilia's father is a really successful entrepreneur. I found the three Unbelievable at relationship building, super good at negotiation, loves projects. Everything he buys he turns into more value and sells it. That's it. Honestly, if you took those three and I would say this to him too he wouldn't be where he is.

Speaker 2 13:11

You can look at where someone got and you can, you can reverse engineer. Maybe this is a me thing, but you can look at what got them there and you can also look at what created all the results good and bad and, by the way, good and bad is relative, based on what you value. Right, some people don't really need it. Maybe some people don't want a great marriage. I don't know, I'm not one of them. I want a great marriage. So when I was a kid, I would look around right and I would try to understand like okay, this person is pretending to be successful when they're not, and they're not successful why? You know what I mean. Why aren't they successful? I had to know.

Speaker 1 13:53

That's more of a you thing, for sure.

Speaker 2 13:54

Yeah, that's a me thing, yeah yeah, well, that's what we do at NLU. Hopefully is we take these distinctions and bring them to people so they can have them too. But I wanted to bring this up, kevin I I was a little scared to do it, but I think it'll be good. Uh, you and I talked about your resume yesterday, yes, so so, again from the frame of personal development, professional development I know we got to go in nine minutes, kev, five really. Uh, kevin and I were talking about this yesterday because we were preparing for this episode today and masterminding about it and kev was saying brother, I'll let you share the story, but remember, kevin is lefty, meaning, uh, he was focused on character and who he was as a person and personal development, not professional development. I was very focused on character and who he was as a person and personal development, not professional development. I was very focused on professional development, not emotional maturity or emotional intelligence or any of that stuff. So I was the achiever, professionally developed. Again, generalization Kevin was the character, self-awareness that kind of thing.

Speaker 1 14:56

But even back then, I think the resume I showed you is probably from oh man, well, it said. It said 2013 to current. This was probably from like 2015. It was like nine years ago. So I was like 25 at this point and there wasn't much good on there. So there was three things.

Speaker 2 15:20

I said no, no, it was two pages long, so good for you. Well, I didn't know A lot of spacing I.

Speaker 1 15:27

Googled it and it probably said it should be a page or two page, whatever.

Speaker 2 15:31

So I tried to make it as long as it was supposed to be.

Speaker 1 15:34

But yeah, no, I did not have a very you would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, under any circumstances, hire me based on my resume, because I didn't have anything. I didn't go to college, I didn't have any notable jobs, I didn't have anything of impressive nature, but I did have a good personality, which I think was from the personal development side. But even back then I wasn't. Was I focused on my character? I would say yes, more than more than the average person is what I would say. More than the average 25 year old man is what I would say.

Speaker 2 16:13

But I wasn't. That's what I was implying, by the way, yeah.

Speaker 1 16:16

Yeah, and then 26 happened, and then 27 happened. And then I really went all in on on personal development, kevin, hyper conscious, understand, awareness, all that happy jazz. But yeah, no, I I had very, very, very, very, very little professional development. I was almost like the opposite. I was like not anti-professional development, but I didn't want to be like that because I never, I think you saw what that came with a lot of times it comes with being disrespectful, looking down on others.

Speaker 2 16:43

I was disrespected by people who were super professionally developed which I was like I'm not, I don't want to be, I'm not gonna be like you.

Speaker 1 16:50

You're you're, you're shitty and I don't want to be shitty here's the question is there a way?

Speaker 2 16:56

is there a way to be unbelievably professionally developed and still a really good human?

Speaker 1 17:04

being Of course, yeah, of course, and it's hard though. Well, it depends. It's challenging to be both. I think it depends on where you start from. Yeah, that's fair. I think it depends on where you start from. If I don't know, I only know the way it was for me, it was personal and then professional. But having the foundation of personal, I think really really helps with professional. I don't know if it's the other way, I don't know. I would ask you does being super professionally developed help when it comes to personal development?

Speaker 2 17:34

No, I don't think so. If anything, it hurts because you're less relatable. So I think it's harder to go from that to the other I would say probably. As someone who and again, even saying this is hard, but I went to one of the best tech schools in the world and I flourished there in academics, blah, blah, blah, right, masters in business Awesome. Even saying that, I like have to lessen it because it's so such a thing, the it's very hard to go back.

Speaker 2 18:07

Like when you've been in the room with the CEO of a billion dollar robotics company and you talk to those people and that's your normal, you just lose perspective. You don't mean to. You just like again, I lose perspective. You don't mean to, you just like again I'm gonna. Please don't villainize me for sharing this. But like early in kevin and i's career, when we were broke, my like worst case scenario was like go make 150 grand on the side consulting and, and so you do. You lose if you're not careful. You lose humility because every everything wins. Yeah, that's fair, especially in tech, like technology is running the world. So if you're in tech, you just win.

Speaker 2 18:49

I I, when I was at some of those companies kev those people were not well developed personally at all at all and and they still win. So think about what that does to your psyche. And then they use the fact that they're successful against their wives at times. So there's that dynamic. And again, not always wife, sometimes it's female, male, but most of the time. So I would say it's harder. I wonder what I would be, who I would be, if I didn't have such tremendous adversity, because being very, very intelligent makes you it's harder to empathize because you've never experienced what it's like to not have a bright future in a way you know I don't.

Speaker 1 19:35

I don't because that wasn't my experience, but one of the things I'm going through right now is I'm trying to and we'll hop after this. I'm trying to. Every time I have a new experience, that kind of sucks and is just it's not an ideal experience, like I really wish that didn't happen. It's I try to flip it and say, well, that will help me empathize with someone who's going through something like that that I've never experienced. It's perspective. There's a lot of perspective in that. But I very much appreciate you sharing the, because that's very vulnerable. It's a very vulnerable thing to share and I know there's a lot of stuff that comes up when you share that. And again, that's the thing about being very, very professionally developed is some people will villainize you for that, just like being very, very personally developed. Some people will villainize you for that. Just like being very, very personally developed. Some people will villainize you for that too. We tend to villainize what we are not Because we're insecure about it on some level, potentially, yeah.

Speaker 2 20:32

Or we've been harmed by it, or you've been hurt by it tremendously.

Speaker 1 20:36

If you've been hurt by it, then you're most likely going to villainize it. And again from If you've been hurt by it, then you're most likely going to villainize it. And again. From a human standpoint it kind of makes sense. It's like fire burns, fire equals bad. I don't want to be fired. But you also can't cook your food, then Yep, exactly, if you're villainizing fire. You can't cook your food if you're out in nature and an early human I know we got to jump.

Speaker 2 20:58

Can you tell them about the resume Quickly? And again this is not just the fisherman thing. Oh yeah yeah, I think that's great and, by the way, I want to make it clear I'm not making fun of Cam.

Speaker 1 21:06

No, no, no, I think this is really illuminating for everyone. We will never talk about something publicly if it's like We've already had enough discussions behind the scenes that I knew this was going to happen.

Speaker 2 21:18

I just don't want people thinking that I'm trying to air you out. No, no, no, I think it's funny, and I also think it's very illuminating how far you've come.

Speaker 1 21:25

I appreciate that very much.

Speaker 2 21:26

I doubt you'd put that on your resume. These days, you know, I don't even know how I would do a resume.

Speaker 1 21:34

What is this giant gap? It's like well into a microphone for a living, I don't know. Maybe that'll help. So there was, I don't know. I think I read somewhere that you should introduce something about yourself. Like you know, talk about yourself a little bit, your personality. So there's three lines. One says I am oh God. One was I am an avid fisherman, so I want you to know that if you hire me for this job, I will probably be calling out and going fishing. The other was I enjoy exercise Every nice day.

Speaker 2 22:01

Every nice day. I'm sick, I enjoy exercise and I do so daily.

Speaker 1 22:05

And then one of the other ones was I practice martial arts and am strong in Muay Thai, wrestling and jujitsu. I applied for a security job. I thought I was going to get the job for sure.

Speaker 2 22:21

I can kick their ass if, if they steal something, 100 and I can also catch a mean bat.

Speaker 1 22:23

I can catch a bass. If we're out in nature and we need to eat, I can lift heavy things. You need to hire me. All right, we gotta go because I have a call tomorrow for episode number 1,663. It is freestyle friday again. We don't know what we're going to talk about, but you will see the title when you look to see the episode. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow. Stay ambidextrous.

Speaker 2 22:53

Next level nation.