Next Level University

#1688 - What Are You NOT Willing To Do To Succeed?

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Have you ever considered the boundaries you won't cross for success? In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros explore the tough choices and unyielding NO that define personal and professional journeys. They reveal insights from a candid discussion with a business partner, highlighting the strength of knowing our limits and how that shapes the way forward. By sharing their stories of eschewing outside investment, they illustrate the virtue of staying true to one's values, even if it means embracing a steeper climb initially.

Links mentioned:
Join us on Next Level Monthly Meet-up #29 on May 2nd, 2024,  at 06:00 pm Eastern Time: "How To Level-Up Your Money" https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700

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NLU is not just a podcast; it's a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website đź’»  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Next Level 5 To Thrive (free course) - ​​https://bit.ly/3xffver
Next Level U Book Club - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-book-club/
Next Level Monthly Meet-up:  https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/

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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We're here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram đź“·
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

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Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:40) The courage to admit
(4:28) Is it aligned?
(8:01) What does sacrificing ultimately mean to you?
(10:24) Setting expectations accurately
(14:12) Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy:

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Speaker 1

Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode, episode number 1,687,. One word to help you level up your life. We talked about grit today for episode number 1,688. What are you not willing to do to succeed? I was. I told Alan this right before this episode.

Speaker 1

I was on a call with someone on Friday and these are two business owners, much like Alan and myself. They're a partnership and they've been working together for like a decade. They've been working together for a long time and it was a very real conversation where, by the end of it, I said, on a scale of zero to 10, how important is it for you to continue doing this business and to succeed in it? And one of the members of this partnership said honestly, my husband still works. He makes really good money. It's not really that important to me anymore. And I said I think you should just pack up and go. I don't think this business is right for you anymore because you don't have the necessity to succeed. And the other person has a lot of necessity and I said I think the problem that a lot of us have is, when we start any level of journey, we think to ourselves, what am I willing to do to succeed? And we kind of think of how fun it'll be or how we're willing to push through that type of stuff. Well, I'll have to do this and that'll be hard, but it'll be worth it. I like the conversation of what are you not willing to do? What are your hard no's where, even if I said and again, I'm not all knowing but even if I said, from my perspective, these five things are really, really, really going to help you succeed, and you said I know that would help me succeed, but honestly, for me that's a hard no. I just think we'd be better off if we admitted that, because at least we know those options are off the table, and I've talked to so many podcasters about that.

Speaker 1

I've had some people come to me and say I don't want to complicate things more. These are the things I want to do. I don't want to do the rest of it. Where can I get with that? And the answer is you can get further than you are, but you're not going to get to the ultimate goal, most likely because it's going to take.

Speaker 1

It's going to take more, but you and I have had many opportunities to do things that we weren't willing to do and we said, well, that's, you know, that's not for us, we're not going to do it and we'll deal with whatever the downsides of that are later. But yeah, that was my thought for this, for this conversation, because this person pretty much told me I'm not willing to do the things that we're talking about because I just don't want it that bad. Cool, I love this, I love both of these people, I love them and I love the fact that they were willing to have that conversation. But if you're not willing to do it and you have the courage to admit it, let's set different goals, because you're just going to be running in circles for a long period of time and you're not going to feel good about yourself and you're going to be hiding from it and I just don't think that's constructive.

Speaker 2

There's a big difference between I'll do whatever it takes to get to the top of this metaphorical mountain, which is something that I used to say, and I've evolved and matured to come to say I'll do anything within alignment to get to the top of this mountain, and then the question underneath that becomes well, what is in alignment? Or, more importantly in this episode, what is not in alignment? Yeah, and understanding what you're not willing to do. So, for example, with Kevin and I, early on, we made a decision. I made a decision and then Kev kind of had to go along with it.

Speaker 1

I guess he was forced.

Speaker 2

He chose to continue on this journey with me, with this decision and the repercussions of it, which is we're not going to have investors outside investors. There's not a lot of businesses that that grow without any outside investment. We, just early on, we had some opportunities that we said no to because we didn't want anyone's hand in our cookie jar. I wasn't willing to go back to a place in my life where someone else could tell kevin and how to run our business, and at the end of the day, we need to be able to run our own business and make our own choices, and he and I are the only ones who really have final say at NLU. And I was willing to take the harder path in the short term for what I knew long term would be, I think, long term not only more successful but certainly more aligned. And there have been several shiny objects that have come into our orbit that were potential large quick wins or quick fixes or Mario Kart boosters that we were not able to capitalize on because of that. And so the at the end of the day, the question becomes what are you willing to do? And then, most importantly, what are you not willing to do? And a lot of people will say things like well, I want to start a business. I've talked to a lot of people behind the scenes, I've coached a lot of different people from all different walks of life and they'll tell me their goals and immediately I'm assessing. Well, what I used to do is assume that they knew what that would take. I said this in book club. I said early on, kev said he wanted to be Joe Rogan and I mathematically calculated in my head that that was possible. But that's a lot of ifs If you never miss for 50 years, if you are consistent in communication every single day, if you interview certain guests, if you are willing to show up on social media every day, like there's a lot of ifs underneath that code, underneath that program. And so you've helped enlighten me in this, where people come to me and they tell me a goal and I used to calculate yeah, that's totally doable in 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years.

Speaker 2

If, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if. And you've helped me understand, kev, that people aren't going to do that's a lot of ifs, a lot of ifs. And so now I'm a lot more mature and intelligent about this process, which is. I sit down with my clients now and say are you sure that you're willing to do what that's going to take? Because I had a client once who said she wanted to have Brene Brown level impact and I said, okay, awesome, you can totally do that. But then her and I had a little bit of a hard conversation where it was you're not going to be able to do that and work less from my current mathematical understanding. And now I understand that when she said she wanted Brene Brown level impact, she was saying what she wanted, not necessarily that she was willing to give up everything to get there. And I think that we all kind of have to assess for ourselves what we're willing to sacrifice at this level in order to get to the next one.

Speaker 1

I know that sacrifice is often again, we had a mentor that used to say there's no such thing as sacrifice. It's all kind of a frame of mind, like if I'm doing something for the greater good of my success, it's not sacrifice. And again, can you get to that place where you're there, that transcendent? Maybe I'm not there and I don't know if I ever want to be there, because I think you either change your behavior or you change your perception, and I think that's just changing your perception. Well, I've never sacrificed anything because that's what I wanted to do to get here. If that works for you, awesome. I don't think that works for most people because I think most people know it's kind of BS. But you just have to be honest about number one if you have a negative association with sacrificing, I think that's a negative relationship. Let's start there. What does sacrificing ultimately mean to you?

Speaker 2

And, by the way, that person spends a minimum of two minutes a day with their children. Right, I would say that's a sacrifice Same, and that's why I'm grateful that you're calling it out.

Speaker 1

Yeah, yeah, and again, I have nothing. I don't have anything against this person, it's not that, but it's just that's advice for me. That never really landed. It never really landed because that's like me saying, when you diet, you're not going to be hungry.

Speaker 2

I don't, it's not real yeah.

Speaker 1

Dieting and again trigger warning potentially for anybody who's dealt with eating stuff, eating disorders or anything. When you're dieting, you are eating intentionally less calories than you need to survive, therefore losing fat, and your body has hormones that tell you you're hungry. So you will eat and regain fat so you can potentially protect yourself from a famine Because, again, the body is setting us up for survival not necessarily aesthetics on the beach, unfortunately. At times. I would rather somebody say to me you're going to be real hungry. I had a bodybuilding coach, best bodybuilding coach of all time. I would rather somebody say to me you're going to be real hungry. I had a bodybuilding coach, best bodybuilding coach of all time. I went to him. I had another coach and he wasn't good, I could tell he kind of didn't know what he was doing. He wasn't taking it very seriously. So I reached out to somebody else who was referred to me.

Speaker 2

I didn't know that. Yeah, I had another coach. Can you express the experience when you say he wasn't good? Can you express why I didn't work Anonymously?

Speaker 1

Yeah, I don't even remember his name. So if you said, tell me who he is, I don't even remember his name, I don't. It was just one of those things where I could tell he was all over the place and he was a lot of talk and very little walk. It was just that he would just super flaky. So I reached out to this other guy who was referred to me by somebody I knew and he was like, honestly, man, I don't really do that. If you're working with someone else, I don't want to step in, I don't want to step on anybody's toes. And I said, no, no, nothing has been exchanged, I haven't paid him or anything. I was kind of testing the waters and it's not going to work. And he said all right, let's kind of meet and figure it out. And one of the first conversations I ever had with him.

Speaker 1

This is hardcore, but I very much appreciated the truth. He said if you want to win, you will suffer more than everybody else. And that was one of the first conversations we ever had. He said you're going to be hungry. You're going to be eating the same thing every day. You're going to have to weigh out everything you eat. You're going to have to weigh out everything you eat. You're going to be doing cardio multiple times. You're going to work out six times a week and it's going to suck. And the next six, the next three months are really going to suck. I very much appreciated that because I would rather I would rather that level of truth than somebody say this is going to be super easy.

Speaker 2

Yeah, he set the expectations accurately. It was as bad.

Speaker 1

It was as bad as he said, for sure.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it might have been worse.

Speaker 1

But imagine if he said well, it's not that bad, in three months you'll have your dream physique and it's not really that bad. I don't how many. I see so many things on Instagram where it's like it's not that hard to make a million dollars, it's only 300, whatever it is $367 a day, whatever it is. You know the math better than I. It's probably like 300 bucks a day or something 267. It is very hard. It's not easy. It's not easy to make a million dollars. It took us seven years. It took us seven years to make a million dollars. It's very, very, very challenging. I don't want somebody to lessen that. And then you think it's going to be easy because it's just not. It's just it's not. Could Alan help you make a million dollars? Yes, would it be easier and more strategic with him? Yes, will it be easy? No, and I just think that's an important thing to touch on.

Speaker 1

And I think the other thing is I don't care, now more than ever. I don't mean this from a negative front. It's been a long day, so my thoughts are all over the place. That's why I'm rambling. I don't care what someone says they want. I care more about what they accept their lifestyle to be on the way, because I would rather someone actually accomplish what they say they want. And if you say, well, I want X goal. But I know more about the process of getting X goal than you and I know you're going to be miserable. I don't want that for you. I want you to know what it's going to take. That way at least you can decide.

Speaker 2

Yeah, and your decision will be based on the sacrifices that will actually be required.

Speaker 1

Right, yeah, I would rather know you ever, ever, somebody ever asked you to help. Hey, do you mind helping me move? It's like how much stuff do you have? You're like a house full, or is it just like a?

Speaker 2

room. And what do they say? Oh, it'll only take a couple hours. Yeah, yeah, it's just a room, and then it ends up being an entire day. Yeah.

Speaker 1

I would rather know that way. At least I can. And again, in that example, you have done it. If if they had said it's going to take a full nine hour day? Yeah, maybe if they, if they were honest and said it's going to take a full nine hour day, but we'll make sure at the end we have pizza, I guarantee there'll be laughs I just had a really big breakthrough of why we aren't, why we struggle with sales as much as we do.

Speaker 2

We. We are so candid, we're so candid dude. Think about that if I said hey kev, you gotta, you're gonna help me move I'm the chief sales officer.

Speaker 1

So, first of all, I don't know no, I'm not saying we're bad at sales, all right appreciate it.

Speaker 2

I think we're great at sales. We're just extremely honest, yes, and it makes it harder. It's easier to lie and complexify things and make it seem like some magic bullet to sell something than it is to say honestly. It's, it's just habit tracking. I'm going to hold you accountable and I'm going to get you to actually do the things that will get you to success.

Speaker 1

It's just not sexy. Somebody asked me about Optimal the other day, nice, and I said honestly, it's very in beta right now. It's not super shiny, there's not a ton of bells and whistles. We're on version one. So I don't want to leave here and me to say this is the best thing ever of all. Time you log in and it's going to have your face scanned and it's going to be a whole thing. It's going to spit out it speaks different languages. I said it's very basic and we're working on it. We're working on it. The Dreamliner is about to be version two.

Speaker 2

Version two will get better than version one, but it's much better, much better but that's how you build a brand and real trust long term, versus selling to new people. Yes, I think that's something too. This is kind of a good analogy for this and I'll go brief with it, because I know this isn't talking about sales. It's almost like most people on instagram that are that are setting the wrong expectations the opposite of kevin's coach. In that case they're. They're in the honeymoon phase of an intimate relationship. They're making it seem like. If you've ever watched any reality tv shows that are bachelor or bachelorette or what any of that, you're on a hot air balloon in Venice, italy. That first date cost 50 Gs.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

And it's not. That's not how you build a real relationship. Of course you're going to catch feels on a hot air balloon in Venice Not me, yeah, not you but you're manufacturing love that can't last. It's like I don't know, it's like a knockoff. I always use the iPhone chargers on Amazon that are knockoff Apple chargers that never work and it takes you five days to charge your phone.

Speaker 2

They get warm it feels that way, but it looks real good and it's only seven bucks. It just is that same thing. So, at the end of the day, what was the original episode about?

Speaker 1

again. What are you not willing to do to succeed?

Speaker 2

yeah, yeah. So that coach that you had mentioned, I actually reached out to him two weeks before my the fitness show that I won and I said, hey, I'm going through it. I'm so scarce and this was the best shape I've ever been in. I had a ripped. This was dream come true level physique eight pack, like it was ridiculous. It was the best shape I've ever been in. I've never been there since. That's how you know. It was ridiculous. It was the best shape I've ever been in. I've never been there since. That's how you know. It was actually really good and I don't know if I'll ever get back there, to be honest, which is really really scary to say out loud, but anyways. So I remember we were at a fitness show from one of our friends' girlfriends and I pulled up my shirt in the bathroom and you're like, yeah, I don't have that. No, no, no, I did not have that. It was the only time I've ever seen kevin, you're ready, you're already sir was yeah, because the last show I I got crushed you.

Speaker 1

You in this time you were like, yeah, you're gonna be fine, you're gonna be fine. Well, it's because I told you you're gonna lose the one before. And you don't listen to me.

Speaker 2

That's facts so I reach out to the coach, kevin's, referring to his name's justin, shout out to just. And I say, listen, I'm going through it. I'm fearful, I'm scarce, I'm hungry, I'm struggle bus, I'm afraid of things I'm not normally afraid of. I'm just going through it. And he texted me and he was very honest and he said I don't want to step on your coach's toes. That's a thing for him. Obviously I appreciate it.

Speaker 2

The only advice I can give you is, if you want to win the show, this is completely normal and it's up to you whether or not you want to win the show. But if you want to win, you basically have to keep doing this for another two weeks and it's only going to get worse in peak week. And I was like, mm-hmm, I was really hoping for, like, should I have a refeed, maybe a cheat meal, anything to get off the ledge of insanity? Nope, and I won. I crushed that show. I stomped everybody on that show. I won the finals too. I won the whole overall in my class and that's the best shape I've ever been in. And that's the best shape I've ever been in and that's the best shape I'll maybe ever be in.

Speaker 2

And the truth of the matter is, everyone wants to be in great shape. People in this industry. They always say things like well, you got to stay motivated, you got to stay disciplined. They'll say these rah-rah things on these speeches and I understand, I do the same thing, I get it, okay, but I always look at them, them, and I wonder well, why aren't you in better shape then If you're so motivated and so disciplined? It's not like you. I just get that thought.

Speaker 2

So for everyone out there, the last I don't want to hate on anyone who's trying to motivate people. I love it. I think you're. That's a wonderful inspiration. Motivation, I get it, but you got to look at at who is talking and you've got to look and ask if they lead by example. And I would much rather you listen to someone who says, honestly, I struggle to track calories and diet every day, but I'm doing it and I'm working out consistently and it's a sacrifice every single day, but I'm doing it because it's worth it. Then someone say it's going to be easy. Anyone who's saying anything is going to be easy is most likely lying, and or they're on the other side when it became easy after they've already done it for a decade.

Speaker 1

Things are supposed to be, certain things I think are supposed to be hard, and that's okay. That's okay. Are there things that can make it easier? Yes, but I don't know if I've ever found something that was supposed to make my life easier, that made it as easy as I hoped it would. Ever Well said yeah, ever. I don't know if that's ever ever happened, and this would be this would be my thought to to leave everyone with, including myself and you, alan. Would you rather someone tell you it's going to be extremely hard and it be as hard, maybe a little easier, or would you rather tell somebody tell you it's going to be extremely easy and then you not be able to do it? First one for me 100%.

Speaker 2

One of them is a quick fix dopamine hit that gets you in the game but doesn't keep you in the game, and so one of them is a long-term trust builder. And the other one is not accurate and it might get you started, but two, three, four weeks in, are you still going? And we in group coaching group 14 knows this shout out to group 14, we open that first session with. This is going to be hard.

Speaker 2

There's a reason most people don't track habits. There's a reason most people don't achieve their resolutions. There's a reason, and it's because they don't have a team of people around them. It's because it takes discipline. It's because it takes consistency. Consistency is the hardest thing in the world. It's because it's boring. I'm not trying to discourage anyone from having goals. I'm obsessed with having goals. I think having goals is wonderful, but having goals that are aligned, having goals that are unique to what you really want and, most importantly to the point of this episode, goals that the things that you have to sacrifice to climb to that next level are not the things you value most. Don't give up what you value most for what you kind of want yeah, and again, there's levels to that too.

Speaker 1

Right, it's like how long can you give something up? It's only going to be six months. Could you give up going to the movies for six months, or whatever? I think it depends on that too. I love UFC. I love mixed martial arts. I didn't watch it for a couple years because I couldn't afford to. That was a sacrifice you could have afforded to, but you chose to sacrifice that. I don't think I could have afforded to. Yeah, no, I don't think I could have afforded it. Yeah, no, I don't think I could have. This was like we were talking earlier about when my car insurance something I got sent to collections for one of my outstanding bills in, I don't know, 2018, 2019. So, yeah, I don't know if I even could have afforded it, but you just gave up YouTube TV.

Speaker 1

I did just give up.

Speaker 2

YouTube TV, to reallocate those funds to back into the business and into getting a house in the future well, that's, that's that's.

Speaker 1

The other thing is like the sacrifice. That's a sacrifice and I would say that's a. I wouldn't say that's a high level sacrifice, but it's. I mean this as humbly as possible. It's not like we're struggling to eat. Right, right, everything's, the business is great and we have money in the bank yeah, money in the bank account. That's all fine, but this is it's. Is it really worth it to me? Is $72.99 for YouTube TV every month really worth it? No, no, not really. It's cool to have and it's super convenient and it's nice if I want to throw something on, but I don't really watch it that much, and I asked harren and she doesn't watch it that much. They almost got me, though when I, when you cancel, they said save what if it was like 62 a month?

Speaker 2

yeah, that's really smart. We'll give you eight months off. Yeah, I was with adobe premiere, they were. They probably brought it down to like 37 bucks. Yeah, they'll, they'll do that. Remember, with Adobe Premiere, we brought it down to like $37. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1

They'll do what they can to keep you Shout out, shout out to YouTube TV for doing it. But again, I think that's a sacrifice. I don't think sacrifice has to be a bad thing. I don't think discipline has to be a bad thing. I don't think being rigid is necessarily a bad thing. I think those are things that help you get closer to what you want. But I also think a lot of it's labels, and that's where things get wonky. Well, I don't really consider that a sacrifice. Well, maybe you don't, maybe you don't. Trade-off, trade-off, yeah, exchange Right, transaction, because I don't consider it a sacrifice of $20 to get $20 worth of food. But it doesn't mean I now can't use that $20 somewhere else, just like I can't use the time that I do going to go to jujitsu. I'm not sacrificing that time, but I am investing that time that I'm not going to be able to get back. That time will never come back. So again, kind of all over the place in today's episode. But we're fired up on a Monday recording.

Speaker 2

One last thing, please. Right now, in this moment, it's 7.49 pm on Monday, the 29th, and we are recording this episode for all of our listeners all over the world. Thank you for tuning in. You, da best, and I am currently sacrificing or trading off time with Emilia. We want to go on a walk, me, tucker and her, tonight while it's still light out, and we are here showing up for the listeners, and Kevin and I will never get that half an hour back. It's what we want to do. I'm not saying this as a negative. It's what we want to do. It's what we value, it's the purpose and the calling and it's worth it. I'm not saying it's not. I'm just saying, if you're honest with yourself, there's no such thing as something for nothing. There's no such thing as something for nothing. You have to invest time and effort and money into things if you want them to grow.

Speaker 2

And we have just invested time, effort and money into producing this episode for everyone, and I think that's awesome, I think that's great, but that is the reality of what it takes to achieve goals and dreams, and I think the more practical and pragmatic and honest and candid you can be about that, the better off you're going to be in the long run and that way you won't have regrets later on and say I wish I hadn't sacrificed all of that for something that I kind of thought I wanted, versus actually being honest with yourself at the deepest level in advance.

Speaker 1

That's what heart-driven, no BS, means to me. Heart-driven is I want everybody to win at whatever level they want to win at. That's heart-driven I-driven is I want everybody to win at whatever level they want to win at. That's heart-driven. I care deeply. I want everybody to win. I want everybody to be fulfilled. I want everybody to have the best relationship. I want everybody to wake up in a body that they love. I want that for everyone.

Speaker 1

The no BS part is it won't be easy, because if it was easy, we'd already have it. All of us would already have everything we wanted if it was easy. And then we'd say, well, I want more of something and it would get harder. Because that's the way it works, because closing the gap, it requires resistance. Fired up, fired up on this.

Speaker 1

So this week's episodes so yesterday, alan, was we talked about grit. Today is what are you not willing to do to succeed? What do we have tomorrow? And talk about messy action tomorrow? Okay, if you are listening to this, on Tuesday, this Thursday, we have a meetup how to level up your money. Money is a very touchy subject and it can be filled with shame and uncertainty and regret. We will not create any of that we're going to talk about how to actually level up your money in a safe place, and I'm sure we'll talk about your relationship with money to some degree. So it is totally private.

Speaker 1

It's from 6 pm to 7 pm Eastern Standard Time. We'll have the link in the show notes. It is a deeper dive. It's like a podcast episode, but a little bit deeper. Alan and I have a nice presentation. You can connect with other NLU family members in the chat. So that is Thursday, and if you have not yet joined our private Facebook group and you're looking for a group of amazing humans like yourself, please do. We'll have the link in the show notes below as well. Tomorrow for episode number 1,689,. You can't learn how to swim on YouTube. I want to talk about messy action. I think this is going to be a very external week of episodes, but I'm excited to do it.

Speaker 1

As always yes, I know you're a big fan, as always. We love you, we appreciate you. At NLU we do not have fans, we have family. We'll talk to you all tomorrow, keep it honest Next level nation.

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host