Next Level University

#1710 - Some Of The Best Books Don’t Teach You Anything New…

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 23:52

In a world where the self-help genre is flourishing, an intriguing question arises: Are we seeking growth or gravitating toward comfort? In today’s episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros offer a critical perspective on the personal growth literature landscape, questioning the genuine efficacy of such books in facilitating real change.

Links mentioned:
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Join us on Next Level Monthly Meet-up #30 on June 6th, 2024, at 05:00 pm Eastern Time: “How To Get MORE Of The RIGHT Stuff Done” - https://bit.ly/4dPeTiD

______________________

NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

_______________________

Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level 5 To Thrive (free course) - ​​https://bit.ly/3xffver
Next Level U Book Club - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-book-club/
Next Level Monthly Meet-up:  https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/

_______________________

We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

_______________________

Show notes:
(2:06) Comforting echoes of our own beliefs
(4:35) The illusion of evolution
(8:14) Want and need
(11:40) Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/f1FWAQA
(12:49) Examine your approach
(14:36) Logical or spiritual
(16:47) Embracing materials that challenge us
(18:03) Study the whole spectrum
(23:08) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Speaker 1

Next Level Nation . Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University , where we help you level up your life , your love , your health and your wealth . We hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode , episode number 1,709 , what Do you Want to Want ? We probably said want two million times in that episode , but it was necessary . Today for episode number 1,710 , some of the best books don't teach you anything new .

Speaker 1

I don't agree with that statement fully , but my thought on this episode was what if and this is going to be a . This will be a challenge to everyone , myself and Alan included a very hyper-conscious challenge . What if the books that you've read , particularly in the self-improvement space , the non-fiction books , what if the reason you like those books so much is because they reaffirm what you already believed and they don't challenge you to make any different changes ? What if ? Because sometimes I wonder , sometimes I wonder this , alan , one of the top-selling books of all time , probably in the self-improvement space , is the Secret , rhonda Barnes , I believe . So I haven't read the Secret , so I can't eloquently speak to the content of it or whatever . I understand the premise of the Secret and I've seen the Secret movie . There's the movie the Secret . I've seen that .

Speaker 2

As have I .

Speaker 1

As has Jeff . What if one of the reasons that is such a well-loved popular book is because it reaffirms a belief that things are supposed to come to you easily , versus maybe a book I don't really have a great example , but maybe a book that's the opposite of life is hard , life is challenging . It's going to take more than you think it's going to take . It's going to be harder than you think it going to take . It's

Comforting echoes of our own beliefs

Speaker 1

going to be harder than you think . It will be a struggle , that which might not be a very well-liked book by the people who also like the Secret , but people on that side might absolutely love that book and say , yeah , that's my belief . The Secret thing is garbage . So I just wonder if and genuinely this isn't like a hypothetical wonder I genuinely wonder if we like the stuff that we like because it reaffirms the current beliefs that we have and it doesn't force us to change our behavior . What are your thoughts on ?

Speaker 2

that I think this is one of the most dangerous things in the entire world , because , unfortunately , we like to be affirmed and it's everything in life . Is these dualities ? We talk about it all the time . It's paradoxical , it's conundrums , it's dualities , it's a duality is holding two seemingly opposing ideas in your consciousness simultaneously . It's the power of the and the genius of the , and it's not being strong or warm , it's being strong and warm . It's not being assertive or empathetic , it's being assertive and empathetic . It's so difficult to hold these dualities . Kevin and I talk about productive paranoia in tandem with massive vision , optimism , being optimistic about the future but pessimistic in the present about what could go wrong . These dualities , I think , are maturity . We talked a lot about maturity in the last episode . So , kev , if what you wanted was what you needed , you'd already have it . This is one of those interesting things . I used to playfully say this all the time If you want Kevin as your coach , you probably need me . If you want me , you probably need Kev .

Speaker 2

I read a book . I've read a book . I didn't read the book . I opened the book and read the first chapter and it's called the Body Keeps the Score .

Speaker 2

Shout out to our old team member , jesse . She introduced this book to me and Emilia has as well , and it's this idea that we hold our trauma in our bodies . And I remember when I coached Jesse for many years actually she had this book . It was her favorite book of all time , and my favorite book of all time , if anyone doesn't know , is the Compound Effect . It was her favorite book of all time , and my favorite book of all time , if anyone doesn't know , is the Compound Effect it's behind me by Darren Hardy . It's not because Darren wrote it , it's because it's the most powerful principle in the universe from

The illusion of evolution

Speaker 2

my perspective . From my perspective , did I love ? When I found the Compound Effect , brother ? This is six or seven years ago . I was . This is it ? If I could have just given my younger self this book , if I could go back to 10 years old and just slide that book across the table , I'd say this is it ? Son , with a Lunchable , yeah , with a couple Pogs .

Speaker 1

Pokemon cards and a Lunchable . Did you love the book because it taught you something or did you love the book because it reaffirmed what you already believed ? Both Simultaneously no . Yeah , yeah yeah , you can only have one .

Speaker 2

It's the premise of the episode you can only have one .

Speaker 1

You're breaking the episode . I got it .

Speaker 2

It is what I always knew to be accurate , but it also taught me how to accelerate it . Now to go back to the book that I , quote-unquote , hated the Body Keeps the Score , jesse's favorite book . She pulled it up in one of our coaching sessions and she had all the little sticky notes . I mean this book was tattered . It was very clear that she has studied this book the body keeps the score . So I was like , okay , I got to give this a shot . Emilia's recommended it , jesse's recommended it . I respect you both deeply .

Speaker 2

Let me give this book a shot and I open it up . I open it up , I listened to it on Audible and the whole first chapter talks about all the statistics of adverse childhood experiences and the premise of the book is that trauma is held in the body and it says one in every six people boom , one in every seven . Boom One in every eight . Boom One in every 12, . Boom One in every five . Boom One in every four . Boom one in every . And my brain went oh , I got super triggered and I said F this book , because I was in every single one of those stats and mathematically I knew what that meant . What's one fifth times one , seventh times one . Eighth times one . Twelfth times 1 . 7th times 1 . 8th times 1 . 12th times 1 . 4th times 1 . 20th times the chances , the probability of me being in every single one of those stats is extremely , extremely extremely low , so now I know whoa .

Speaker 2

this is a book I need , but F this book . If what I wanted was what do I want ? I want more strategy books , I want more business books , I want more compound effect books , I want algorithms to live by and I want the 15 invaluable laws of growth . That's what I want . What I needed is the book I least want to read , and that's kind of the point is . Most people out there Jessie , for example already loves the Body , keeps the Score . The last thing she needs is more of that . What she needs is to read the Compound Effect and Algorithms to Live by and all the business books over here . So if you wanted what you needed , you'd already have it .

Speaker 2

And we're not ambidextrous . The righties stay righty and the lefties stay lefty and we don't know how to dribble with our other hand in this metaphor and it really causes massive challenges . So if you want a coach , you need a therapist . If you , if you want a therapist , you need a coach . Obviously you , we all need both , but I encourage both . For me , the inner work is where all the unlocks were yeah , because I already loved all the external stuff . So hopefully there's a lesson in that

Want and need

Speaker 2

Isn't the saying .

Speaker 1

If you needed what you wanted , you'd already have it . I just want to make sure , because you were saying it the other way and I thought it was the other way .

Speaker 2

No , if what you wanted and what you needed were the same thing , you'd already have it .

Speaker 1

Okay . Why did I say it wrong ? I don't know , Because you .

Speaker 2

It sounded weird . If I want more compound effect , what I need is more body keeps the score .

Speaker 1

I thought it was . If what you needed was what you wanted , you'd already have it that's the same way .

Speaker 2

That's the exact same thing , as if what you wanted was what you needed , you'd already have it , we're saying the same thing I know , but I know the syntax is off , but it's saying the same conclusion .

Speaker 1

I think Language is tough . Language is tough . I think that's a really that's also another really good point is sometimes what you , what is almost too highlighting , you don't want to take part in because it's almost too much feedback all at once . What's happening right now are you , is everything good on your end ?

Speaker 2

it's not great sir yeah , there's a massive lag .

Speaker 1

I think it's on your end . How's your ? Is your wi-fi ?

Speaker 2

yeah , no , the lag is heavy I think it's on your end , no , no , we're gonna have to . We're gonna have to have the production team cancel all of this out and let's start . Let's restart . Are we lagging still ? Oh , definitely we're not gonna restart the whole episode , but let's no , no , we can't .

Speaker 1

In the top right , do you have bars ?

Speaker 2

that says your connection is weak no , and by the way , I don't usually have my whole . I put the web browser near the camera , so yeah , I understand , I can .

Speaker 1

I can never see that yeah , so I could be right this whole time and you wouldn't know it . Right is what we're saying .

Speaker 2

That's possible , but this is different than usual . Usually , when you say it's on my end , you don't experience anything on your end . That's fair , and this time is Everything's good . Now , though , are you good ? Yeah , let's . Okay , so production team please cut it when you said I'll start with .

Speaker 1

sometimes you'll learn something that's too much I got it .

Speaker 2

This is nothing .

Speaker 1

This is my seventh episode of the day . You think I'm not scared of anything . Let's do it . You ready ? Is there a lag ?

Speaker 2

No , I don't know . All right , ready , go ahead . One , two , three , four , five , six . Oh yeah , yeah , yeah , we're good .

Speaker 1

one , two , three cool four , five , six , remember . We used to do that all the time . Oh my goodness , remember that oh my goodness talk about getting triggered , all right . So , team , I'm gonna start when I was mentioning how sometimes a book could be too much feedback and you're gonna run from it , even though it would be really good . Yeah , good , we don't need to do that . Yeah , we don't have to do that . This is always tough . This cold start's always tough .

Speaker 2

A couple professionals at the end of their rope . Yeah , we only have You're frozen . You're frozen man .

Speaker 1

What do you mean ? Not on my end . All right , let's do it . So I think one of the challenging things Alan can be when you find a book that gives you too much truth all at once and it is quite the opposite of the way you want to think , because it's just too much feedback . Can we tell the listeners ?

Speaker 2

why we're laughing

Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy:

Speaker 2

.

Speaker 1

Yeah , we're laughing because we're having some technical issues and it's really hard to be in the middle of a thought and then have technical issues and then have to pick up in the middle of that thought again after and pretend like nothing happened and just start a sentence from like the middle of a sentence . I don't even know what you said , to be honest with you .

Speaker 2

Would you ask me a question ?

Speaker 1

No , I would never , never do such a thing , never .

Speaker 2

You said something about a book being too much feedback .

Speaker 1

Yeah , yeah . The reason you villainize that book is because it was so true .

Speaker 2

Yeah , yeah .

Speaker 1

It was almost too true for you to digest it all at once . I think that's a whole nother thing . My question for everyone is if you thumb through your favorite books , are they your favorite books because they reaffirm your beliefs ? I've had so many people tell me . So many people have asked me have you read the Untethered Soul ? Have you read the Untethered Soul ? Have you read the Untethered Soul ? It's a great book , great book . Yes , I have read the Untethered Soul . You know when I read it , I read it when I was in a super spiritual phase and I think I wanted to believe everything in that book . And I'm not saying that book's not valuable . I'm not saying it has , it doesn't have positive

Examine your approach

Speaker 1

points . I believe differently now than I once did .

Speaker 2

You ever hear a parent say oh , don't worry , that's just a phase , for like their kid . So if imagine a hypothetical two parents talking saying oh , my kid keeps doing this , keeps doing this , oh , don't worry , that's just a phase . All adults have phases . I had a phase , spiritual phase but you take some of it with you forever . It's not like a phase that ends forever .

Speaker 1

Yeah , yeah .

Speaker 2

I think that's what we're trying to say here is that I had a phase when the secret resonated . You did too remember .

Speaker 1

I think I wanted it to resonate .

Speaker 2

It never did . It did a little right . Positive thoughts .

Speaker 1

No , not really . Yeah , I remember watching the documentary . No , no , it didn't . No , I remember watching the video and I was like , wait , that person had like life-threatening cancer and then they just told themselves they didn't . I can't , that doesn't seem right to me . Yeah , that seems like they're taking advantage of this process .

Speaker 2

Well , here's the other layer , just because you don't have to accept it all or nothing ? Well , you don't have to accept it all or nothing . I know you can say positive thoughts could have helped with cancer , but it's not going to cure cancer , right ?

Speaker 1

And again .

Speaker 2

This is why everything gets wonky . No book is gospel . I told Book Club . I said most books are garbage . That's fair . A lot of books are absolute garbage . I'm not even kidding . Actually , some of them are downright devastatingly bad .

Speaker 2

I want to go quick with this , but science is the scientific method . It's evidence-based research . That's why I love books that are heavily researched

Logical or spiritual

Speaker 2

and I get it NLU Most of the stuff we talk about . So when I go on other shows I often say I'm coming up on my 10 000 hours of coaching , speaking , podcasting , training . The reason I say that isn't look how awesome I am , it's I need you to know . I'm not just talking , I'm . This is research-based , evidence-based , scientific method based conclusions that I'm drawing . I'm not just like throwing a dart at the wall talking about stuff , and I think a lot of people are quite frankly , and that's why it's so dangerous a lot that I'm drawing . I'm not just like throwing a dart at the wall talking about stuff , and I think a lot of people are quite frankly , and that's why it's so dangerous . A lot of people are yappaholics just yapping away .

Speaker 2

Yeah , and sometimes the people that are the most informed are actually the least loud . They bark the . It's like the person who knows the most barks the softest , unfortunately , and my goal with going down the secret route was not .

Speaker 1

I think that there are so many valuable points in leaning into spirituality , whatever that means for you , especially if you're somebody who's overly , overly , overly rigid and logical 100% . I think taking time on the opposite end of the spectrum is great for perspective , mm-hmm . But it almost becomes Villainize the other side , kind of villainize the other side , and that's not what I'm trying to say in this . I , alan and I , were talking after we got off . I think we were talking on the episode about energy and how you had an intense energy , mm-hmm .

Speaker 1

And after that was during the episode I think , yeah , well , after you and I were talking , we had a deeper talk . Oh , and yeah , well , after you and I were talking , we had a deeper talk . Oh , and you said , like what does that mean ? Explain to me what that means . And I said I think it's just a frequency thing . I think it's just a frequency and a resonance thing .

Speaker 1

To me that's all very out there . I don't know that's . It's very hard to know what that means in real life , but to me that's like a spiritual thought . Karma to me is like a spiritual thought . One of the reasons I want to be good is because I think when you do good , I think you have good karma . I think when you're good , your frequency is different , your vibration is different . People can sense that ,

Embracing materials that challenge us

Speaker 1

but I think that's spiritual . So I'm not saying you should be super logical or super spiritual , I'm just saying sometimes what we want to learn is not what we need to learn on both ends . I'm sure you and I know people who are super productive but they have no idea who they are inside and they don't believe that all of this is for a greater purpose in some way , shape or form . I think it would be beneficial to visit that end .

Speaker 1

And then , on the other end , I've worked with , I've interviewed with I know a lot of people who are very much the spiritual . If it's meant to be , it'll be divine timing , I think . If that serves you , awesome . But I do think having strategy attached to it would make it more powerful , potentially . So ultimately that's my takeaway for this episode is maybe some of the books that you think are the best are the books that you think are the best because they just reaffirmed what you already believed , and that's fine . Some of the podcast books I've read I said , oh wow , I know way more than I thought I did , because somebody else wrote a book about it and I already kind of knew that . But on the other end , there's books I've read where it completely challenges my beliefs and I have that moment where I have to sit with my

Study the whole spectrum

Speaker 1

ego and figure out what do I want to do with this ? Do I want to villainize this because it makes me feel different , or should I really take a look at this because it probably ?

Speaker 2

it probably has a lot of valuable stuff in it . That's my takeaway . Yeah , there's a great philosophical quote of you shouldn't be super comfortable in your own stance until you can also argue the other side , and I think that if you want to be a well-rounded mature adult , you have to understand that everything is two polarities . You've got Republican Democrat , you've got conservative and drawing a blank .

Speaker 1

Don't ask me If there's somebody who knows less about politics on this planet .

Speaker 2

I'd love to meet them . Liberal , liberal , liberal and conservative . The point is , the math geniuses want more math , the spiritual people want more spirituality , but the world would be a better place if we learned how to get along , and I think that all of us should be studying the whole spectrum . I don't think you should write something off super quickly , and I purposely will listen to certain books that I actually don't want to listen to . There's one called what's the name of of this book .

Speaker 2

Quite a shining endorsement for this book yeah , something about you're the one , or something like that . It's a female author that talks about not disconnecting from self . It's really good , really good . I wish I could quote the author . It's my bad over Over here quoting compound effect all the time . But the point is is I don't necessarily and in book club the book club members listening will know this I don't like all the books we do . I it's hard because if I'm not passionate about it it's going to be hard for me to lead book club . So , like the psychology of money is 10 out of 10 for me , I let me this because I know we got to jump . Here's the problem your goals .

Speaker 1

What's up ? Tell me hello .

Speaker 2

Here's the problem your goals require you to have certain beliefs . So if you have a goal to be financially free , you actually have to be careful what you believe in order to achieve that goal . So if you have a goal to be financially free and you're 15 years old and you read the four-hour work week and you think you're going to be financially free , working four hours a week , it's a dangerous . What someone who's 15 needs is different than what someone who's 35 needs . What someone who already works six days a week , 12 hour days , needs is very different than what someone who's 15 and lazy watching Netflix waiting for that next Netflix series . You've got to learn . Your learning should be tailored to your goals , and that's where I'll end it . Your learning should be tailored to your goals and maybe you get your goal and decide you don't want it . That probably will happen , but at least you'll get there instead of thinking that it's going to drop out of the sky because you read the secret Deep episode Deep one .

Speaker 1

That's all I have . What are your thoughts on all that ?

Speaker 2

that's all I have .

Speaker 1

What are your thoughts on all that ? I think it's worth experiencing the things that make you uncomfortable , because there might be lessons in there too . Yeah , you definitely have to have certain beliefs to achieve certain goals . But if you believe you already have all the beliefs , then you might be jeffing yourself Right . I'm as guilty of that as anybody . I think we all are to a degree . We all know what works for us and we all know what we think works best for us . But do you really know what works best for you until you try a bunch of different stuff ?

Speaker 2

No , you can't . And then you try it long enough to actually get evidence .

Speaker 1

Yeah , yeah , like we always make burgers this way . One of the most dangerous quotes in the world is if it's not broke , don't fix it . One of the most dangerous quotes in the world . It sounds really good . Yeah , we just do that and it works every time . It doesn't mean it couldn't work better . It doesn't mean it couldn't work better . So that's my last takeaway . I have to one-up you Obviously Strong work . Yeah , thank you so much . I appreciate that .

Speaker 1

Alright , we don't know what we're doing for next episode . It'll be good . It'll be a good one About life , love , health , wealth , self-improvement , next-levelness , hyper-consciousness , relationship . It could be anything , who knows , but it's gonna be a . If you are looking for a group of like-minded humans who are trying to be as well-rounded as possible , that's kind of what we're talking about . I want to be spiritual . People ask me all the time are you someone who's spiritual ? I say , yeah , I'm very spiritual , for sure . Also , I'm also very logical in many ways . Right , it all depends . Next Level Nation is a really good place for that . Everybody is looking to grow and evolve and get what they don't yet have and learn more about what they need to learn about . Grow their strengths , grow their weaknesses . We'll have the link in the show notes for that Our next monthly meetup . Alan , I know the date , but

Outro

Speaker 1

what are we talking about ? On June 6th .

Speaker 2

You remember Productivity , productivity , how to be more productive , how to get more done in less time .

Speaker 1

Okay , so that will be Thursday , june 6th , at 5pm Eastern Standard Time . Our meetups are completely behind the scenes , totally private . We're not going to record them .

Speaker 2

I stand corrected . How to get more of the right stuff done .

Speaker 1

Oh , is that why I thought you were telling me to wait for you to say something after ? My apologies , I didn't mean to shush you in real time .

Speaker 1

Oh all good . Okay , I just want to make sure , completely behind the scenes , kind of a deeper podcast episode , but you can engage as much or as little as you want . We have questions . Yeah , there's a lot of opportunities for engagement . So if you're ever interested in looking behind the scenes more of NLU , that's a great place to do it . As always , we love you , we appreciate you , grateful for each and every one of you , and at NLU we don't have fans , we have family . We will talk to you all tomorrow continue seeking objective truth .

Speaker 2

Next level nation boom .

Speaker 1

Three minutes to spare . That's what it . That's who I am now .

Head Shot

Alan Lazaros

Host
Head Shot

Kevin Palmieri

Host