#1715 - Goals Vs Growth

In our relentless pursuit of success, we often get caught up in the destination and overlook the journey’s value. In this episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros challenge this notion, proposing that actual growth and self-improvement lie in our path toward our goals, not just in the milestones themselves.

Links mentioned:
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level 5 To Thrive (free course) - ​​https://bit.ly/3xffver
Next Level U Book Club - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-book-club/
Next Level Monthly Meet-up:  https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/

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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:15) Growing into our best selves
(4:45) The syntax matters
(8:28) Types of goals
(12:14) Measuring actual growth
(15:28) At NLU, we want you to win, so we’re providing tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM. https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/
(16:44) Hardware, software and operating system
(19:02) Tagline: Discovering ourselves together
(22:03) Why does it matter to be better?
(26:54) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode, episode number 1,714. We only know one version of other people Today. For episode number 1,715, goals versus growth.

Speaker 1 0:23

One of the reasons I wanted to do this episode is because it took me eight days from when we crossed the million listen, million dollar mark to when I actually put up a post on social media, and the reason is I thought I'm not saying I wasn't super excited, I was genuinely super excited and I'm eternally grateful and all that for sure. But I care more now about what we had to become in order to get there than the actual celebration of the thing. In the beginning, that wasn't what I was thinking. I was thinking of that's an important mark to cross, but it's different now. It's different. I don't know exactly where I want to go, because obviously goals are super important and obviously goals are going to guide us and keep us on the guardrails and we're going to celebrate when we get there, for sure. But a goal that doesn't force growth, I would argue, is not as good of a goal as one that does. Well said, I would even argue okay, this is good.

Growing into our best selves

Speaker 1 1:46

Alan and I both used to do bodybuilding. I did bodybuilding, he did men's physique. Same thing Step on stage, strut your stuff, work really hard. There's always people on stage that their goal was to get enough confidence to get on stage. I think that is a wonderfully constructive goal, because the type of person that you must become to overcome your insecurities and work on yourself and get on stage in what is potentially a man-thong if you're doing bodybuilding, the level of growth that that requires is wild. Yeah, I'm willing to bet and this is going to be a bold statement I'm willing to bet someone who was overweight, that wanted to work so hard and so diligently to get on stage, probably grew more than I did, even though I won the trophy. Yep.

Speaker 2 2:49

Would you agree with that? Well said, yeah, definitely. That's where I want to go I remember I used to say this to you all the time, way back in the hyperconscious days. I used to say the goal isn't to get the goal, and you always thought that was really dumb.

Speaker 1 3:02

I did think you were dumb for that, yeah.

Speaker 2 3:06

But you don't set goals to get the goal. You're like I do that all the time. What are you talking about? That's the story of my life. Yeah, you're like I wanted to win.

Speaker 1 3:17

I think you can do both.

Speaker 2 3:18

Yeah, agreed.

Speaker 2 3:19

Right, I was only doing one, but there's syntax, there's the order matters. I was only doing one, but there's syntax, there's the order matters. So for me we both did fitness shows. Your goal was to win the show and I explained this to you years later because we made fun of me playfully.

Speaker 2 3:33

I thought I'd win the first show, got stomped, thought I'd lose. The second show won the overall by a pretty significant margin and then the third show thought I'd win again and got stomped. So we kind of playfully joke about that and I remember I told you my goal wasn't to win the show. My goal was to win the show and minimize the amount of muscle I lost. I was optimizing wrong. If I was optimizing only to win the show, I probably would have won the other shows. I was trying to win the show and be not a fraction leaner than I needed to be to get the trophy. And one of the reasons why I got stomped is because I looked at the year before and the competition wasn't that great and my year what in the hell, there's a lot of abs going on individuals.

The syntax matters

Speaker 2 4:29

Yeah, there was a lot of abs. There was more abs on stage when I did it than the year before, so I just had poor data so I was kind of naive. But my point of that is the syntax matters Are you doing it to grow first or are you doing it for the goal first? And I wrote a blog called Quantum Goal Setting and I'm going to go briefly with this.

Speaker 1 4:54

But these are the different types of goals that I help my clients set. Let me strap in here for a dramatic reading of the day.

Speaker 2 5:02

I'm not going to read, I'm just going to read the different types of goals okay, yeah, I'm not gonna read hey, I hate to be the guy that's still technically reading yeah, that's fair. It's fair, okay.

Speaker 1 5:12

The first type of goals is results goals, which is what kevin's talking about when I just want you to. I want you to know I've really enjoyed the episodes we've been doing lately and I love you too, brother yeah, I'm having a really good stuff.

Speaker 2 5:24

Yeah, I am cooked, and you are too. I think that's why we're enjoying this a lot. No, no no, it's.

Speaker 1 5:30

I feel like I don't know. As you know, if you, if you've been listening recently, we're trying to be more ourselves and I think we're always finding ourselves and figuring out what's most aligned, and this feels like hyper conscious podcast to me. Yeah, it's been a good time, but but actually with lessons in the last episode, brother.

Speaker 2 5:47

Yeah, you asked me. Does that make any sense?

Speaker 1 5:50

I didn't hear a word you said yeah, no, you, I could tell when you were like uh answered.

Speaker 2 5:56

Thank you, I should have just owned it. What I was trying to do is think if I did hear anything, I I searched, nothing came through.

Speaker 1 6:05

I didn't hear a word of it.

Speaker 2 6:06

Look, you know why. I was trying to figure out what I was gonna say and, in podcasting, just to bring everyone behind the scenes oh how do I listen to Kev and try to articulate the value I'll add as well, but not forget.

Speaker 2 6:23

Forget what he's talking about and when you have done I this week is a very much, is a very much is very much a stretch for me. This is I'm grateful for it, because I wanted to see if I could do this 30 episodes in a single week. But I'll tell you what it's. It's definitely my brain is having a little hard time more than usual and I didn't get the best sleep yesterday, but anyways, I thought that was hilarious. On the last episode, you're the one time you ask did that land? Did that make any sense?

Speaker 1 6:54

I have no idea that's all right for me no it's not at all, but it might have.

Speaker 2 6:58

I just didn't listen. It's my bad. All right, growth goals, no, no, I know. The first one is results goals. That's what I said. Okay, results goals, those are the results goals are the outcomes you want to achieve. Boom, simple. You're right, I was gonna read it okay, I know, I know number two is character goals.

Types of goals

Speaker 2 7:20

Character goals are about the person you want to become. Number three inner circle goals. Inner circle goals are about the people with whom you surround yourself. So some people have a goal to be with a certain type of person. You know, you know, I guess I'm saying that I had a past friend of mine who always set a goal to be with a certain type of intimate partner and that was super motivating for him. So anyway, inner circle goals, here we go. Number four my favorite mastery goals. I have a mastery goal to be more effective at communication, which I'm struggling with right now. Mastery goals are about the skills you develop and the crafts you choose to master, like oratory, Effective communication. Number five process goals. Hold on, I think of process goals as the runway and the vehicle. For example, when my results goal was to lose 10 pounds in 10 weeks, the process goal was to exercise for 30 minutes per day. The vehicle was exercise ok, almost done.

Speaker 1 8:37

6 contribution goals. That's how you know. The only time you hear people say it's almost done is when it's like a procedure. You know what I mean. Like we, no, no, we're gonna pull the needle out there in a sec. Almost done, almost done, thank goodness, this is almost over.

Speaker 2 8:53

well, I know it's a lot, it's a lot. Contribution goals are about the value you intend to provide to achieve the results you want. So the episode per day would be the process, the impact that the episodes hopefully are having would be the contribution goal and then, last but not least, mentor goals.

Speaker 1 9:14

Nice.

Speaker 2 9:15

Mentor goals are about the mentors and coaches you intend to bring on to help you achieve your goals. So growth goals isn't in there. But the truth of the matter is when you said Did you know that when you started? No, no, I didn't. You wrote that right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is my first blog, brother, that was 17 blogs ago.

Speaker 1 9:42

Okay, that was at least 17 months ago, I just think it's funny, Of course, it is actually pretty funny.

Speaker 2 9:47

Also, devastating news. I do think that the results goal the other six that I mentioned are all kind of gross. Who you surround yourself with, who your intimate partner, is, character goals. I think character goals and growth goals are probably similar, Meaning who's the type of person you want to become. What you create creates you. That's Anthony Trucks. He talked about that in a speech that we went to in Arizona and I'll never forget that because that was fire. We created this podcast, brother, but look at what it created out of us. We've become such better men better, in your case, husband. Better intimate partner in my case. Better oratory, better communication, better coaches. Better in pretty much everything, except for fitness, Definitely not better in fitness, different in fitness.

Speaker 1 10:41

How do you? How do you and this is a rhetorical question, so I'm going to need you to lock it up, got it? Because I know if you answer, you'll go and this will be it. We'll be here all night, the light. They'll have to turn the lights off on us. It's hard to measure growth. It's hard to. That's the thing is, how do you measure the actual growth? I don't know. I know how many listens and how many dollars we've made. Awesome. Those are two really cool measurements that people happen to care about a lot. Awesome. Love that. I'm way more than a million listens of a human. Now for sure. I think that's why it was so hard for me is because when we I never set the, I never set the goal to make a million dollars in the business or get a million listens. I never wrote that down anywhere.

Speaker 2 11:30

I don't think actually no, I did. No, you did. You had a vision board. It's on my backdrop. Yeah, it's on my backdrop. You had a vision board way back that said two million dollars, but that was so long ago two million no, no, I, I literally have my backdrop on my laptop is a million dollars and a million listens so I did write that down I'm gonna talk about manifesting it.

Speaker 2 11:48

We did it and you didn't mention that in the post. I didn't mention that shout out to vision boards huh, shout out to vision boards you did it or go brother yeah, but it wasn't just that.

Speaker 1 11:57

Yeah, I think it helped, helped keep me on track but here I think it was just a vision board I think so as well.

Measuring actual growth

Speaker 1 12:05

Write it down, it'll happen. A mansion on the beach, it's coming. This is the thing, though that never would have happened if we didn't have much bigger goal. Yeah, that's what I said to somebody the other day. I said I understand that's worth celebrating and I appreciate it, thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you for the kind words. I appreciate that, but the reason I don't, the reason I'm not celebrating it a ton, is because that it wasn't about that, and that's what changed. Because what happens when your goal is to win the gold medal and then you win the gold medal, then what? What? Then? What do you do? You don't have any inspiration, you don't have any motivation, you don't feel like you have direction, you don't feel like you have purpose. But what if it was, I don't know, to be the most impactful Olympian ever of all time? Nice, your life is already completely different based on that goal, one goal.

Speaker 1 13:06

So again, I love goals. I'm all about goals. I would say set a goal not only for what you will achieve when you check it off, but also who you will become in the process. And when you accomplish that goal, don't be surprised if you're able to set a much bigger goal next time because of what you were forced to become in order to accomplish the first one. That's the beautiful thing. The beautiful thing is it's not just you got the goal, it's these are the five things that you became in the process. You became more consistent, you became more disciplined, you increased your self-worth, you increased your self-belief, you increased your ability to be punctual, you increased your opportunity or your skill set in organization. Communication, vulnerability, courage those are all amazing attributes to have that you never would have had if it wasn't for the goal.

Speaker 2 14:04

But now you can reinvest those into something I had a podcaster earlier today showed up to james. He asked me a question that I thought was really cool. He said next level university can someone like me who's in college go to next level university and learn hard skills like coding or? And I said he said, is that what it's about or is it more soft skills? And it was that kind of question and I butchered that, but it was something along those lines and I essentially said to him I'm realizing that this is going to be a whole thing. I'll be quick, I'll try my best. I showed him a pyramid, of course.

Speaker 1 14:49

Wait, this was on a podcast.

Speaker 2 14:51

I didn't pull up the share screen, I just did it with my hands. I am cooked man. This is good. This is a good version of me. For sure. I got nothing left the bottom of the pyramid.

At NLU, we want you to win, so we're providing tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM.

Speaker 2 15:01

I used computer engineering as an analogy, because he knows a lot of computer engineers, whatever. So in computer engineering, you have the hardware, which is the actual physical computer. Then you have the operating system, which is Mac or so, ios or Windows. So I said I'm using Windows 10 right now. At the time it was Windows 11. And then, above that, you have the program. So, for example, we're recording on StreamYard right now. Streamyard is a program that is being run on an operating system, in my case, windows 10. And the hardware is the actual Zen book that I'm using right now and the camera and the mic.

Speaker 2 15:36

Okay, I said at NLU, we don't fix the hardware or the software, we do the operating system. We work on beliefs, we work on identity, we work on what I call meta skills or meta habits. I said the best meta habit is habit tracking. It's the one habit that keeps you on your habit. And so we work on your character. You don't go to NLU to learn Python, which is a coding language. You go to NLU to learn how to be consistent, to learn about your identity to learn about your belief systems.

Hardware, software and operating system

Speaker 2 16:10

To learn about what makes you tick. To learn about what your exiles and insecurities are. To learn self-awareness. To learn self-worth and self-belief and self-acceptance. To learn success, consistency, self-discipline all these different things. Nlu isn't about teaching you Python or a computer language. It's about teaching you about yourself. It's about teaching you these fundamental skills that ripple into everything Courage, humility. It's about teaching you these fundamental skills that ripple into everything Courage, humility, vulnerability. These are skills that you need in everything, and I thought that was a really cool way to think of NLU, because he was asking can I come to NLU? For no, definitely not.

Speaker 1 16:47

I'm going to set him up with you, Kev. Yeah, I'll throw something together for you.

Speaker 2 16:50

You teach him some SQL database and some Python. Yeah, 100%.

Speaker 1 16:52

Send him over Python. Boa, Rattlesnake, I got all that shit over here. Whatever you want to learn, I got you. Yeah, we'll be building bridges in no time.

Speaker 2 17:02

No, and they call those soft skills. I think that's a. I disagree with that. I don't think they're soft at all. I think they're foundational. I think it's foundational character skill that NLU focuses on Our tagline.

Speaker 1 17:15

this is why you and I were joking, but this is why I feel so. I feel the most aligned I've ever felt with what we're doing right now, and here's why Our tagline should be we help you learn about yourself by us talking about what we're learning about ourselves, because that's really all we're doing and that's always been the goal. The goal that has facilitated the growth that we have is that I always want the audience and the NLU family to grow with us through what we're growing through, which means we also have to develop skills that we wouldn't have to if we weren't sharing what is happening in our real life, and that's one of my favorite things in the world, and I think that's something that also has taken a lot of growth. That's the honest truth.

Speaker 1 18:06

People have said well, you're so vulnerable and you're so open and authentic. I have to be. I want to be. That's my goal. My goal is to grow to the place where I can just be me on these microphones. That's the goal, and it's hard, that's super challenging, but if I didn't have that goal, I wouldn't have grown to the level I have. And I think that's the hardest part is measuring your actual growth. I think that's really really challenging.

Speaker 2 18:35

You do that every time you look back at old photos and old content and old.

Tagline: Discovering ourselves together

Speaker 2 18:41

That's one of the reasons I talk often about the real life superheroes. Very first YouTube video I ever did. You want to see growth. You go back and watch old content and hopefully everyone out there has some videos or some pictures from their past. I know some people's Facebooks was with amy earlier. She's like I don't have a lot of photos because my facebook went down and I had to switch accounts or whatever. But go find old photos, go find old videos, old audios. Emily and I we had gratitude audios we used to send each other when we first started dating and we would go through those for for our second year anniversary, she made me a whole slideshow of all of our memories.

Speaker 1 19:20

It was unbelievable, yeah, yeah, it was really good but I remember we'd be in the car and you'd be like hold on, I gotta listen to this gratitude from emilia. It's like 15 minutes and 17 seconds. Yeah, man, I gotta put my airpods in. Man, I'll be with you in a short bit. Like all right man we're going to be another state by the time you finish that. You know it.

Speaker 2 19:36

And there's a couple things in that. Number one it's nostalgic and wonderful to look back. Number two you can see the growth, or the lack thereof. I was looking at old photos earlier and there's tons of growth, like we've talked about, in every regard except for fitness. Fitness is hard for me.

Speaker 1 19:57

I looked at one of the photo shoots that you said I came in Sloppy.

Speaker 2 19:59

Sloppy yeah, yeah, there you go. That's a kind way to put it.

Speaker 1 20:04

You thought I came in sloppy and I'm like dude, Dude, At the time it was sloppy. I mean, that's the hard part. You now wouldn't say that I'll tell you something. I would if you looked the way you used to, that's fair For 100%.

Speaker 1 20:17

I hold steady on that, just like Alan and I. We were doing a photo shoot and we were in Florida dieting for it and I remember when we did the shoot I remember looking at the pictures and I was like that is not good. Yeah, no, I wasn't ready for that. If I looked back now, I'm definitely in better shape than I am today, but it still was sloppy for the time. That's all I'm saying. So the same standard I hold Alan to, I hold myself to. I promise I'm not being mean.

Speaker 2 20:46

When you go back and you review the past. I think that's when you see growth or lack thereof, and the lack thereof hurts. But I'll tell you what I'm motivated. I'm doing leg day tonight after looking at some of those photos. So it's game time and there's always going to be. I was talking to aim about that earlier in our coaching session. There's so much value looking back at the past I I'm convinced of that Not if you're just going to dwell on it, and there's definitely trauma, work that needs to be had with certain memories, of course, but I think, re-watching the movie of your own life.

Speaker 2 21:17

I'll keep saying that. I might as well say that on repeat. You've got to re-watch the movie of your own life. That's got to be one of my favorite things in the world. You're just going to learn stuff you didn't realize. Oh, interesting, I was always that way and I never realized it. Oh, that's right, you was always that way and I never realized it. Oh, that's right. You're going to notice so much stuff. So go back through your Facebook, go back through your Instagram. It's really cool perspective, just like watching an old movie that you saw when you were a kid. Same deal.

Why does it matter to be better?

Speaker 1 21:42

Well, okay, this is the last thing and then we'll get out of here. Next time you set goals, set growth goals, with it of I want to feel this way, I want to act this way, I want to show up this way. If you're going to say, I want to lose 10 pounds in 10 weeks, cool, good goal, but at the end of the 10 weeks, what else can we do in terms of growth? That? I feel like that would be a really good study for all of us. Yeah, if you can authentically Go ahead.

Speaker 1 22:12

I just said do you dig it?

Speaker 2 22:13

that was it I do dig it if you can look back five years ago and say I'm smarter now. I'm stronger now. I'm more capable now. I'm more self-aware now. Self-aware, now, I'm more chungus.

Speaker 1 22:28

Now I'm more kind. Now I'm more compassionate.

Speaker 2 22:30

Now I'm more empathetic now I'm more kind, now I'm more compassionate, now I'm more empathetic, now I'm more virtuous, now I mean, that's what it's all about, progress. And then you ask yourself, well, why? Why does it matter to be better? Because when you get better, everything in your life grows with you. And we talked about. If I took this version of Kev and I put him in his 18 year old circumstances, everything would be misaligned every person's thing, an idea would be, it would be fun for a week for sure.

Speaker 2 23:03

Maybe two weeks for you okay what does that mean about me? I knew you were gonna do that. I knew you're gonna do that. Maybe, maybe two years for you. No, I'm kidding, uh, because you like to go astray every now and then yeah, yeah yeah, you'd be. You have a blast for a week, and then you, I'm going astray right now if you're listening to this.

Speaker 1 23:20

Oh no, no, we're back. I'm back from scotland at this point how was it uh? I drank a lot of whiskey. How do you know?

Speaker 2 23:31

Because I'm gonna Nice, if we took me, brought me back to my 18-year-old self, most everything would be misaligned. And so when you set goals that have growth in mind, you grow toward those goals. And then, when you get the goal, you go, okay, what's next? And then you grow towards that, and then what's next? And then you grow towards that. And then you look back and go, whoa, look at how far I've climbed.

Speaker 1 24:00

Or look at how far I've fallen. That is an unfortunate truth. All right, we're going to get out of here, grateful for everyone for sticking with us through our tired times. If you have not yet joined Next Level Nation and you're looking for a group of amazing humans to help you grow whether it's a positive post, whether it's somebody commenting on something that resonates with you, we'll have the link in the show notes below.

Speaker 1 24:20

If you would please leave us a review slash subscribe to make sure you never miss an episode of NLU. That would mean the world to us, whether that's you on YouTube or you on the podcast platform of choice. We would appreciate that very much. We do not have tomorrow's episode chosen because we just wanted to make sure we got these out and we made sure we did not miss, because we will not miss Quick. Shout out to you Alan, myself, a little self-love, the team, everyone. We have recorded an episode every single day for over a thousand episodes, so shout out to everyone who helps us make that possible, because, for the two humans you see in front of you, there are many people behind the scenes that you do not see that yeah, it's possible for us definitely that's so important to acknowledge 100 no unsung heroes at nlu, so 100 all right, as always.

Speaker 1 25:11

We love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Speaker 2 25:18

Keep growing toward your dreams, next time on Nation.