Next Level University

#1734 - 1 Reason Why You’re Not Following Through With What You REALLY Want

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Have you ever wondered why you hesitate to chase your dreams, even when they seem tantalizingly close? In today’s episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros delve deep into the psychology behind this hesitation and offer actionable insights that motivate you to believe in yourself and take action toward your goals!

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For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:12) Three beliefs
(4:09) Fear of the alternative
(7:35) Kevin's new advice
(10:33) The underlying reasons for commitment, partnership, and individual strengths
(16:07) Advantages and self-belief
(20:19) Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/f1FWAQA
(21:59) Achieving goals through a systematic approach
(27:02) Belief in worthiness
(30:40) Realism in goals
(34:22) Resilience and adaptability
(38:06) Out

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Speaker 1

Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode, episode number 1,733,. Are your goals specific enough? Freestyle Friday Today. For episode number 1,734, happy Saturday. If you were listening on Saturday.

Speaker 1

One reason why you're not following through with what you really want you like that. Yeah, I try to. I try to read it with a little artistic vibe. You're an artiste. I try my best.

Speaker 1

I did a podcast pre-call with a wonderful speaking of artist. He was an artist, a painter, with a. My best. I did a podcast pre-call with a wonderful speaking of artist. He was an artist, a painter, with a wonderful human today. And he's a coach. He does a lot of coaching and in a pre-call things can go a lot of different ways, but we were definitely vibing and we were getting along really well.

Speaker 1

And he was talking to me about self-improvement and growth and awareness and all that stuff. And he said what do you do for someone who feels like they know what they want to do but they just can't get themselves to do it? And I said I mean, it's a loaded question. It depends on a lot of things. Usually I would need more context and I would ask them for more context. But I said, the thing that's really jumped off the page for me is most people end up getting really stuck when they do not believe the activity that they're stopping themselves from doing, the reward that they want from that activity, will be worth it. I would ask them, on a scale of one to ten, how much do you think doing this thing will actually be worth it? That's part one and part two. Let's try to identify five other ways where, even if you didn't get the result that you aspired to, you'd still find five other ways that it would be worth it.

Three beliefs

Speaker 1

And I said I can use myself as an example. Will I ever get to the level of impact that I want? I don't know. I don't know, but I know the person that I become. Level of impact that I want? I don't know. I don't know, but I know the person that I become and the confidence that I have and the connections that I've made and the community that we've been able to cultivate. Those are all worth it. Even if the goal shifted and I didn't get what I desired, it would all still be worth it to me A thousand percent. Alan and I have had some very real talks behind the scenes where I've said to Alan I haven't always believed in myself, I haven't always believed it was possible for us trust me, but I always believed if we could be successful in any way, shape or form, it would be worth it. And if that ever changes I'll let you know.

Speaker 2

Can we unpack that? Because that's very rare. So those are the three beliefs that you must have to achieve anything, whether they're conscious or not. You have to believe it's possible, possible for you and worth it. And very rarely and I've asked this question in coaching a lot over the years very rarely is there someone who doesn't believe the first two and is 10 out of 10 in the last one. As a matter of fact, I don't think that's ever happened. I don't think I've ever met anyone who says I don't really know if it's possible. I think it's possible. I don't think it's possible for me necessarily, but I do believe it'll be worth it.

Speaker 2

I think what you're really saying underneath that and I've never done this with you before, so we'll see how this goes that and I've never done this with you before, so we'll see how this goes, let's party is the alternative is so painful that you know, even if you fail, it's better than the alternative. I would say that's accurate. Can we go into that? Because that's yeah. I think that that's actually what drives humans more than they realize. I told the story about me going running around the block one time when it was at dusk and one of my neighbors had recently sent a picture of a black bear like right in the place that I was running, right near the place I was running, and I remember thinking and I ended up with a better time. It was a two mile run around my block. I used to do it as a kid all the time cross country track, all that and I got a really good time and I remember thinking I know why I got a good time.

Fear of the alternative

Speaker 1

I was very fearful when it was starting to get dark because this is a very rural, in the woods, new england forest type of yeah, it was you know the circle I'm talking about I do, and I was thinking how reckless it was probably to run that, based on how fast cars would drive down your street yeah, true, I would usually try to go like in the woods a little bit whenever a car was coming.

Speaker 2

But a black bear, you don't want to go in the woods. No, you don't really. Yeah. So I just was running really fast and I remember thinking to myself there's a lesson in this. I'm running faster out of fear, not out of desire. My desire was to get a certain time. I don't know what it was, probably 12 minutes or no, 14 minutes, something like that. But the point is is why did I get my best time? I used to log them. I don't have them anymore as iCloud no, probably old phone but why did I get my best time when I was afraid of the black bear at dusk? It's because I was fearful, and so some fear can actually drive you, and I think your fear of the alternative, which is being unsuccessful and being a failure and being seen as a failure, is so painful that you work harder towards your goals than most people would in some cases out of fear of the alternative.

Speaker 1

Well, I appreciate the compliment in there, the hidden compliment in there. I appreciate it very much.

Speaker 2

You're a loser.

Speaker 1

You were gonna be a loser. You're afraid to stay a loser. You work hard, though. No, just kidding. I think it's a lot of things. I again I've used this example or this analogy or metaphor. What is it? Simile is what? A comparison using like or as Metaphor is a comparison not using like or as. Cool for knowing the definitions, kev, but I still don't really know what I'm about to say.

Speaker 2

True or false? Analogy is Alan is to Kevin as Emilia is to Bianca. Co-host and host. I don't know if I know. I wasn't exactly the best on the SATs with verbal. I was the math science. I did well on that. I didn't do as well on the reading and writing.

Speaker 1

I don't remember what I got on the SATs. Probably not good, would be my guess SAT verbal. Who knows. I went into a room and there was people and I remember taking it and I was like I think I did okay.

Speaker 1

That's it, that's it as much as I remember I think it's a lot of things for me I have used the example in the past of when I started this. It was like I jumped in a pool and I wanted to learn how to swim and I said, if I could just learn how to swim, I would stay in this pool forever. So there was a very deep desire for me to do this forever. The desire was very, very, very high.

Speaker 2

But what's the fear of not doing it, forever Going back to jobs? You?

Speaker 1

hate. I don't know if that ever really was an option. I don't. I never. I have never looked after I left my job. I never looked for a job again. Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever ever ever had jobs offered. How do we?

Speaker 2

help the listeners with that, because people say you got to burn your boats to take the island.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I mean it's dangerous.

Kevin's new advice

Speaker 1

That's what you did, you just unconsciously, and I don't know if I don't know if I would give that advice Again. This is bumper, that would be bumper sticker. Self-improvement of like burn the boats, go all in. We've done episodes in the past of going all in. I think going all in is directly connected to the level of uncertainty you can handle, because if you go all in on uncertainty you have no certainty at all. So that would be my, my new advice is go all in to the the degree that your stomach can handle it in terms of the uncertainty. But what?

Speaker 2

I'm not asking you for advice, or or for the listeners to get advice. I'm asking what is underneath why you were all in like why were you all in? I mean, I knew I'd be better off with you I knew I'd be better off with you than alone.

Speaker 1

I knew I'd be more successful as a failure with you than successful as a success on my own. That was my deep belief and I just it was just survive and figure out how to stay here. That's always been it, always, always, always, always, again. If you decided tomorrow, like Kev, I'm going to go in a different direction, I would change my goals drastically. I would have to. I would have to because I wouldn't be able to get them. I wouldn't be able to get them. I wouldn't be able to get the goals that I aspire to without you as close to me. That's my truth. How uncomfortable does that make you feel? Now let's put the spotlight on you.

Speaker 2

I don't know if I have ever. Yeah, I have never put that level of trust. I'm scared to share this. I don't know if I have. I don't feel that same way, in the sense that I don't feel like me. Achieving what I want to achieve is predicated on anyone else, that's fair.

Speaker 1

I can imagine that's a good feeling yeah, I don't know the alternative I don't either.

Speaker 2

But I also cognitively understand that I couldn't have gotten here without Emilia and without you and without the team, like it's a duality. But is the team and NLU and you a byproduct of me or am I a byproduct of all of you? And the truth is it's both. But every enzyme has one catalyst and so I try to live my life in a way where what I say, think, do, feel and believe is the catalyst toward greatness collectively, not just like I don't feel like I need you, I feel like I want you, and and I've never set a goal long term where I felt like I wasn't in control of eventually manifesting that outcome.

Speaker 2

And I don't know what that is. I don't know why that is. Is that because I can calculate it? Is it because I can reverse engineer it? Is it because it's a quantum ability that I actually can do? Because it's a quantum ability that I actually can do, whereas I don't actually think I can be a strongman? I always use that as an analogy, because I've never set a goal to win strongman competitions. Because why would I do that when I know that I can't? That would be a waste of time and effort.

The underlying reasons for commitment, partnership, and individual strengths

Speaker 1

I think it's because you're the leader. I think that's what it is. I think you're. Some people are just leaders. I'm not a natural leader. That's not my strength. I don't capture a room the way you capture a room. That's not going to happen. That's why the bar is not my. I don't do well in bars. People see you not just because you're tall, but energy. I've been around your energy. We talked about that a couple weeks ago or a couple episodes ago. It's, I don't know. It's something I wouldn't have admitted a few like five years ago does everyone know this like the okay.

Speaker 2

So I was on with a client recently huge fan and I'll keep it anonymous and he said I'm so. He said can we please? I always ask for intentions before the sessions. And he said can we please talk about that episode? That episode was.

Speaker 2

I got great feedback, by the way, kev on the episode about the temperature set point okay, several people yeah, several clients have reached out saying that that really resonated and I think one of the reasons why is because we all know this intuitively but we don't necessarily know it consciously. So, for example, emilia is always on. She's always on, it's just. She wakes up in the morning happy and ready to tackle the world it's the best way to describe it. She's just always on, even when she's off or struggle busing at the in the evening, like we were in the gym last night at 11 30 at night, which I don't recommend, but she's. We wanted to wait train and we had to charge the tesla. And she's going away the weekend and we have an event. Doesn't matter, excuse, excuse, excuse. The point is is we're we still hammered it? I mean, we were still hammering it, even though we put it all on the court that day. And I think that high self-belief leads to high levels of action, and high levels of action lead to a lot of development and growth and and eventually you, just you just up the ante and up the ante and up the ante, and then people can feel that presence in that energy. But my question for you, kev, is this client reached out and said I think my temperature is like lower. My natural state is lower than than yours is. And I had this very honest, hard conversation behind the scenes where I said well, who are you more like? And I, you're your own unique individual. So I need to say that you're not kevin and you're not me and you're never going to be so. Let's preface it with that. But you are you and you and you're great and whatever you are, be a good one. I love that quote. Shout out to Jerryann who brought that into my life. I think it's an Abraham Lincoln quote. But the point is let's stop. Don't try to be me, don't try to be Kevin, but which one are you more like? Let's at least figure out which end of the spectrum the drive to five that you're on. And he said definitely Kevin. I said, okay, I. And he said definitely Kevin. I said, okay, I got to tell you this because it's going to help you become more, but I'm scared to tell you.

Speaker 2

He said what's going on? And I said it's obvious to me that you have strengths that you've had to develop, that I didn't have until after my car accident. And he's like well, what do you mean? I said you are naturally more humble and you are always trying to find advantages to achieve what you want, because you don't naturally believe you can achieve much, at least in comparison to me. And so my point of that is you're not the people who aren't the guy or the girl think they want to be the guy or the girl, but you have advantages. We don't. Because, truth be told, it wasn't till after my car accident when I really started to identify that I needed more humility and that I needed more inner work and that I needed to track habits and that I needed to to actually maximize my potential instead of just show up. So he said my brother is like you everything, he just wins at everything. But he has no idea what it's like not to.

Speaker 2

And this is a quick little side tangent. When I was a kid, I remember my friends. They always didn't care if they won the board game, they only cared that they beat me. And in video games it was the same thing I, I just want to beat alan. And I remember thinking that's really ridiculous, like why you don't even care if you win. You just don't want me to win.

Speaker 2

And I now understand in hindsight that I number one really was significance driven, to try to be significant in my family and stepdad, whatever, and I was really wanted to be the best, so part of them wanted to tear that down. I get that. But the other piece of it is I just won at most stuff. And don't get me wrong, in the room of the best basketball player I'm not even on the charts. But the point is, is that, like, growing up I always tended to be better at stuff than my peers.

Speaker 2

That was always my, my normal, and this client has never felt that way and I said here's the truth. You can't be the guy because you're not naturally the guy, but you have advantages that the guy doesn't have. And the only reason I have advantages now that that naturally came well to you and to him is my car accident, whereas I took my gifts for granted. So much before that. Truthfully, like, seriously, who who gets drunk all night and then aces the calc exams? Like, can you imagine if I tried right, what the hell? So at the end of the day, as uncomfortable as this conversation is, you're afraid that all of you is not enough or all of you is too much. He is afraid that all of him is not enough, but in social situations sometimes, because he's so growth oriented and has a coach and is working so hard and tracking habits and is so humble and work ethic is on point.

Advantages and self-belief

Speaker 2

He does feel too much sometimes around people that aren't doing any growth or development and that kind of thing but, he's never going to feel too much for me, and and again, that's scary to say so this is a new version of me, but and by new version of me I mean a more authentic version of me, because I used to be too cowardly to share more courageous version. More courageous, yes and so, and more vulnerable, quite frankly. But so Kev for you. How do you do people know that they're not the guy or the girl Like, is that a? I have no clue what that is or what that's like.

Speaker 1

No, I not until you. I think it's not until you work with someone who is. It's hard because I only have one example Like you, you're the example. I don't really know if I have any other people I can point to, but no, I think I've become more and more and more aware of that over the last seven years, Do you?

Speaker 2

think they maybe know unconsciously, though.

Speaker 1

Maybe I don't know. It's really hard because there's not a lot to point to.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

It's like, well, he's the CEO. It's like, well, he's the CEO for a reason, and then there's layers under that. It's like, well, he's the CEO, he's the. It's like, well, he's a CEO for a reason, and then there's like layers under that. It's like, well, why don't you coach the team? Because Alan's supposed to coach the team. I'm not supposed to coach the team, alan's supposed to coach the team. Well, like I said this on a podcast the other day, somebody said I talk nicely about.

Speaker 2

I really appreciate that. Hey, usually I get the opposite.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I know, I know Well, I talk nicely to you when I'm with you. Somebody asked you the other day who is your best coach or mentor. I said Alan, my business partner. I'm blessed I get coaching for free whenever I want. Very few people have Alan's cell phone number. I can text him whenever I want and we have deep conversations every single day. And I said I understand how rare that is. And I said do I coach Alan on things? No, I won't say I coach him on things. I think oftentimes I'm able to bring a different perspective. But it's not mentor I'm pointing to myself for those listening mentor, mentee. It's the opposite You're the mentor, I'm the mentee. But it took me a long time to get that because you and I had the same results.

Speaker 1

So it's like why do you get to coach me? You're broker than I am Broker. Not really, but you're, but only in that moment, right? But that's all people see. All people see is the moment.

Speaker 2

Yeah, that's all people see. All people see is the moment. Yeah, yeah, that's been really unfortunate, and I didn't have the courage to own where I was better either, so that's part of it too.

Speaker 1

Well, a lot of what you said sounded nuts. What'd you say? A lot of what you said sounded nuts.

Speaker 2

in fairness, it just you know okay, you don't think it's nuts anymore.

Speaker 1

I think it's less nuts. I still think it's nuts anymore. I think it's less nuts. I still think it's kind of nuts In a good way, not a bad way Like an exciting. I'm excited to see. Way Not. There's no way it's possible. Let's have a conversation.

Speaker 1

What did you? What did it sound like before versus now? Before it sounded like you were just saying stuff. You were just. I didn't know that you had calculated it, I didn't know that in your mind, like you don't really say stuff that you don't intend intend on doing yeah, I'm never gonna be a strongman competition.

Speaker 2

I'm never gonna win at the nba. I purposely didn't do snowboarding because I can't win a gold medal.

Speaker 1

Yeah, that's strange. It's strange, I think, as speaking for for men. As young men, you grow up around people who talk a lot.

Speaker 2

Yeah, men do talk a lot of shit.

Speaker 1

Huh, they have their PhD in yapaholics.

Speaker 2

It's like oh.

Speaker 1

I could get that girl right now if I wanted to. It's like well, go ahead. No, Nope, she's not even worth my time. It's like that young woman over there is a model and you play beer league hockey.

Speaker 2

Why don't you take a take a walk and see what?

Speaker 1

happens, and again I'm being I'm joking on that, but yeah, I think I probably assumed that it was either ego or lack of accuracy.

Speaker 2

I genuinely never knew that other people were just talking. That's been alarming for me over time.

Speaker 1

Some people I won't say all, but not everyone. Not everyone right, the vast majority of people were just talking more than I thought.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I would say so.

Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy:

Speaker 1

I really thought they meant it like to the same level that I did when I've never met anybody who means it to the same level that you do, ever, ever, ever, ever, emilia. But I, I'm not. I don't work with em you like I work with you ever, never, ever, ever.

Speaker 2

I don't understand and that's fine, that's fine. I dude, this is dangerous territory for me because I don't know and I don't want to make this about me, but I do want to say I'm very proud of you because I know how uncomfortable nobody else will ever know how uncomfortable this type of episode is for you.

Speaker 1

I love it. I eat it up. I could do this every day for the next however many years. This is easy for me.

Speaker 2

I know how I can't say anything. I know, I know I appreciate it. Thank you for acknowledging that. I think that's I. I the thing is I don't even really care. I know, I know I'm grateful, but I want to follow through even more than I already am. So but I do agree that walking, whenever I said I was going to do a goal or dream, like I at the time I said it, I did intend on it, like intend on it. It was. It was I'm going to figure out how to get to that and I'm gonna do it starting now. I always joke and it never lands. I said I don't. I don't say hey, I'm gonna go get in shape, and then I like go to the beach. I don't, there isn't that for me it's I reorient my entire life toward whatever that that manifested dream is, and I help other people do the same. So if you're not achieving your goals and dreams, I know how to do it. For the most part, I just know how to do it.

Achieving goals through a systematic approach

Speaker 2

I remember Michael Burt. He said I remember we asked. I said we don't mean this negatively, but you're a coach. You've been a coach for a long time. You look like a great coach. We appreciate it. I'm a big fan of Michael Burt personally. Again, I don't know him personally, but we've met him in person and he's been on our show twice and I've I watch his content. I think it's very powerful. I do, and I'll leave it there. I don't like to associate with anyone anymore because, just in case you never know, but nowadays it's like listen, don't associate me with like the content yeah, I like the content.

Speaker 2

The content is good and I do like his book. Some of them, uh, but anyways, he has one called flip the switch. That I think is great. Here's my point. I remember he we asked a question when we interviewed him, which is why should someone get a coach? Not because we're questioning that you should or shouldn't we believe you should, but for our listeners, why should they get a coach?

Speaker 2

and he said yeah, sell me on it. And he said I just know how to do it and you don't. It really like I just know how to do it and and I used to be too much of a coward to say this my clients achieve their goals and dreams because I know how to do it and they don't. And I give them a system that incrementally gets them to their goals and I'll tell you, if you have a huge goal that you want to accomplish in three months, I'll say that's impossible. If you want to achieve it in a decade, I will say okay, then this is how we do it. And I do know how. I've studied goal achievement my entire life, whether I was conscious of it or not. And it's, it's a science, it's an actual science. Like we were watching a movie you ever see the martian no matt damon, it's awesome.

Speaker 1

I know it's a great movie. I haven't seen a great film okay, I know, I'm sorry. I know that broke it's okay.

Speaker 2

Eight out of ten on imdb film lovers it's great. Now again, I'm like three hours long it's long.

Speaker 1

You're not getting me to sit the only three hour movie I'm gonna sit down for is titanic, that's it fair no other movie it's.

Speaker 2

I loved it and I told emilia when I because I'm always trying to curate the best movies, because she loves science and technology Adores it. So it's sci-fi and it's very accurate, scientifically accurate sci-fi, which I appreciate, and so, anyways, I sat her down and we had dinner and it was like a special occasion, it was date night, and I said turn on your scientist, this is gonna be fucking awesome, right, and she does, and the whole movie it turns out she thought there was gonna be martians.

Speaker 1

Spoiler alert yeah, he's the martian spoiler alert, but anyways.

Speaker 2

So in that movie, why was I talking about this? Oh, in that movie all the astronauts are scientists and they are very strategic in their thinking. They calculate. So in the end of the movie he spoiler alert. Okay, spoiler alert. In the end of the movie he gets launched into space because he got left behind on Mars and they had to figure out how to get him back. And they have to calculate how to have the ship pick him up at the same exact moment that the ship reaches this point. He has to reach this point, but it's a mathematical calculation.

Speaker 2

I feel like that's a good metaphor for goal achievement. It's just a mathematical calculation and the truth of the matter is, given the economy, there's only certain things you can achieve. So certain things are possible now that weren't possible 100 years ago. So you have to factor that in right, because obviously markets are other people. But scientifically I can break it down for you and it's like, if you, if you go to a chemist and say, hey, make me a bomb out of these ingredients, it's, it's hey, alan, get me this goal. And then I just break it down and say this is how you do it and this is what we have to tweak in your beliefs and in your mindset and in your discipline and in your habits and what you measure and all that. And so it really is just a formula. Achievement is a formula and it's actually quite simple, but you have to understand a lot of complexities of the world in order to make it simple, I guess.

Speaker 1

And then you have to do it for long enough. I was thinking of this. You think you could land a plane right now For sure no. Okay, no, probably not.

Speaker 1

No, but give me a couple of years for sure. I think give most people a couple of years, or potentially longer, or maybe shorter, depending on who you are. That's my tie in for what we were talking about originally. The people that go on to be pilots or teachers or scientists or doctors or whatever are. Maybe some of them are gifted and they're the smartest in their class, whatever, right. Maybe some of them are gifted in certain ways, some of them are for sure. I would say that's fair. That's fair, especially if we're talking like professional sports Olympics. Yeah, they're gifted in many ways, but what if they're just the people that believed it would be worth it for longer than everybody else and they had certain gifts? I'm certain I could land a plane in 10 years, nice, but Would the old you think that? No, because the old me assumed that everybody had things that I didn't, which they do, but that those things are. That thing is usually just knowledge. Yeah, just knowledge and experience practice and practice and again some gifts.

Belief in worthiness

Speaker 1

I'm not gonna play in the nba, no matter how, no matter how long I try no, you're not.

Speaker 2

It's just not for me, unless they uh give you a pity play where they maybe slam ball.

Speaker 1

Can you imagine? Can you imagine an n, an?

Speaker 2

NBA player lifting Kevin up to dunk.

Speaker 1

No, God, you want to talk about emasculating.

Speaker 2

What about slam? Ball I?

Speaker 1

could do slam ball. You ever seen slam?

Speaker 2

ball. Yeah, dude, way back. When was that? Early 2000s.

Speaker 1

It's back, son, that looked awesome, is it really yeah?

Speaker 2

Trampolines, trampolines.

Speaker 1

Trampolines and basketball. So, yeah, maybe that's kind of what I'll wrap this episode up with is. I know we were all over the place today, but this is what a conversation between Alan and I is like. This is like what it is behind the scenes If you don't think something's going to be worth it, you're not going to do it. It would make no logical sense to say we really need water. I don't think there's any water eight miles away, but I'm gonna walk eight miles with a bucket to see you wouldn't? It wouldn't make any sense. It would make zero logical sense.

Speaker 1

Last story before we get out of here, I called the bank today. Alan, it's been on my to-do list for a hot minute, nice At some point in time. So I have TD Bank. It's my personal bank. We use Bank of America which sucks, by the way as our business banking. I'm not even mad about it. I told the person. They told the person. On TD Bank today I said look your website, your customer service, world class Bank of America, garbage. Can. World class Bank of America Garbage. Can't stand it, hate it.

Speaker 2

No kidding.

Speaker 1

You could tell she couldn't, she wasn't allowed to say anything Really Because she laughed a little bit I think.

Speaker 1

I mean all these calls are recorded. Yeah, you know, that's customer service, though. So For the last like I don't know Four years, I have been taking $150 Out of my personal Checking account and sending it to the business. I have been taking $150 out of my personal checking account and sending it to the business because I used to pay our credit card from my personal account. So I would just send $150 to the business. It would pay the credit card down. Cool, we're off to the races, awesome.

Speaker 1

Then eventually, we got to the point where we had a business and I didn't have to send personal money, because I don't have any personal money. All the money is in the business, so. So then what we did is I would send 150 from my td to bank of america. Then we set up a bank of america, one that would send 150 back, so I broke even it was. It was easy.

Speaker 1

Recently we were focusing on eliminating unnecessary expenses and alan's like dude, do you need this? And I I was like no, not really. No, I don't have to pay the thing, can it? And he's like all right, cool, I'm going to, can it? And I said I'll call Bank of America when I need to. I got overdrafted today. You mean TD, td. Yes, thank you. Thank you Because I know this is all over me because they sent the money to bank of america. But bank of america is not sending any skrilla back. So you better believe.

Realism in goals

Speaker 1

I was on the phone at 8 37 this morning with a wonderful oh my alexis was her name from td bank, nice. It was worth it. It wasn't worth it for me to spend a half hour on the phone before because I, yeah, 150 goes, 150 comes, awesome. Oh, now the 150 isn't coming back. Well, there's enough money in there to get me by. Oh, there's not enough money to get get me by. I was on the phone the same day necessity. Necessity is connected to whether or not it will be worth it. I think realism is connected to whether or not it will be worth it. I think that's why many, many of our new year's resolutions fail quickly, because we don't actually believe it's possible. Therefore, we know it's not worth it. So, yeah, that would be my ending Check in with. What do you believe will be worth it? I believed it would be worth it to do 1,700 episodes. I believe it'll be worth it to do another 1,700 episodes.

Speaker 1

I don't know I like it. I'm in, it's awesome. I'm not broke and I haven't been sent to collections in a few years, so that's cool. So if anything, now I'm playing with house money. I believe it'll be worth it, but obviously it's different for you wherever you are and what you're dealing with.

Speaker 2

The main thing that I would share as we go wrap up, wrap up. I think most people are more capable long-term and they can achieve more long-term than they think most people. I think most people underestimate their own potential in the short term uh, in the long term sorry, in the long term. Most people like you. If you were to coach with me whoever the metaphorical you listening I would most likely find someone who says I want to this and I would say that's totally doable. Most likely Not always, but most likely, but most likely you would like to achieve it sooner than it's possible.

Speaker 2

That is like a through line theme of coaching. I've learned more in coaching than my clients have learned from me, and what I mean by that is I have so many data sets from so many different walks of life now and that helps me. Me help people too. It's really cool to see all the different countries and I've been learning about the world through a global audience. It's been really actually awesome, because I I always felt a little bit, um, overly american and now I feel much more.

Speaker 2

We, we gotta. We're gonna emily and I have plans. It's it the making First.

Speaker 2

We're going to move you out somewhere next year, next year, next year, yeah, yeah, we're going to upgrade our home, we're going to get you upgraded. We got some stuff to achieve, a couple new team members potentially. We got all things going, but that's going to happen for sure. My point is sorry. I feel like I have a very global perspective now and what I can tell you from my experience coaching individuals about how to achieve their goals and dreams and be fulfilled is that the large majority I'd say 95% of them came to me with goals that were achievable, but not in the amount of time they wanted, meaning it was going to take longer than they actually wanted. And, by the way, everything Kevin and I have achieved I'm not joking, this is my truth it has actually taken longer than I thought, which is very unfortunate. I think it's good. We've grown a lot. We have grown a lot. Yeah, there's a lot of. There's a lot of there's. There's a lot of been. There's been a lot of unexpected wins, like emilia and i's relationship and other magnificent things.

Speaker 2

That and growth, but I mean there's been more unexpected losses, I'd say for sure, definitely, yeah, that's fair, and it's taken a lot longer than I anticipated for sure, but I also know that the compound effect flips that eventually.

Speaker 1

And it is what it is.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it's better than not trying.

Resilience and adaptability

Speaker 1

Would you go back and do it again? If it's going to take two years longer than you think? Of course I'd still go back and do it again. Some things. I know it is what it is. It's kind of like an abandoning quote, like I know it is what it is. It's kind of like an abandoning quote, like, ah, it is what it is, but some things it's just, that is the way it is. So there's nothing I can do about it now and that time has already elapsed and we're going to do what we do. Last thing before we go I have a deep belief that oftentimes our expectations are our desires. Why do you think it's going to take a year to become X amount of successful? Not because you expect it. It's because you desire it and in your mind you're thinking well, I can do that in a year because I want to do that in a year, when in reality it just doesn't work like that.

Speaker 2

So I saw a stat the other day Not even a little bit.

Speaker 1

Those aren't connected at all, not at all. I saw a stat the other day Not even a little bit. Those aren't connected at all, not at all. I saw a stat the other day that said if you're going to podcast, you should commit a minimum of two years and 100 episodes.

Speaker 2

That's your expectation.

Speaker 1

If anything happens before that, you're in rarefied air, my friend.

Speaker 2

Yeah, of course, and I can tell you Is that not a given.

Speaker 1

No, no, because there's people out here selling the courses that hey look, if you buy this Next Level, you podcast course, not only could you be a billionaire tomorrow, it might not even take that long, it might even happen today and the life of your dreams awaits. It's on the other side of $59.99 a month.

Speaker 1

Yeah, just pay us $60 a month no, $60, five increments of $59.99 a month. Yeah, just pay us $60 a month, no, $60, five increments of $60. And then I mean pretty much the sky's the limit. Yeah, you're going to be whatever, you could be anything, anything, but I mean there's a lot of people selling that right. So I had a call with a client recently and I was like, look, I'm never going to give you the five easy steps. That ever going to give you the five easy steps? That ain't. It Doesn't exist. Maybe somebody else has found it and squirreled it away in a tree somewhere. It doesn't exist.

Speaker 1

So I'm going to teach you what I think will help us move closer to the truth. Ultimately, all right, if this episode helped you move closer to the truth and you aren't sick of Alan and I blabbering, please subscribe on whatever platform you're listening on and leave a review. We would appreciate that very, very, very much. Also, these episodes can be challenging because I know alan is coming out of his I don't want to say out of his shell. He's being more of him, more authentic, and I'm just proud of you for that and I enjoyed this episode. You're very welcome. I enjoyed this episode very much because I don't know why being ourselves is one of the hardest things in the world but it is, and especially on a public medium, and Alan and I are trying to continue to be more and more and more authentic and more and more and more of ourselves. And I get to tell you, next level nation, it is scary at times.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it's vulnerable as hell. By the end of the day you're more emotionally cooked than you are. Cognitively at least me'm emotionally vulnerable and uh, but in a in a good way it's it's. But sometimes at the end of the day you're in the feels of is everything good? Are we good? Is everything okay, right? And then you get the message from someone who listened and it's like oh no, please be good, right, but at the end of the day it is what it is. So, thank you, I appreciate it. It's definitely been. I feel better now, but it's been quite the climb for sure. I feel you on that.

Speaker 1

As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and at NLU we do not have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow. Please reach out.

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host