Next Level University

#1739 - There’s A Reason They Say “Don’t Meet Your Heroes”

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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In today’s episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros explore the emotional journey of meeting our heroes and discuss authenticity and integrity. They delve into personal growth, ethical dilemmas, and the pursuit of fulfillment in both personal and professional life.

Links mentioned:
We Love it When You Leave Reviews!!! -https://lovethepodcast.com/nextleveluniversity
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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level 5 To Thrive (free course) - ​​https://bit.ly/3xffver
Next Level U Book Club - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-book-club/
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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(3:11) The truth comes out
(7:31) Importance of accurate, effort-based advice
(13:14) Personal integrity
(18:06) At NLU, we want you to win! So, we’re giving tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM. https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/
(19:11) Self-reflection and true energy
(21:17) True fulfillment
(23:13) Knowing someone’s character
(27:51) Integrity, authenticity, and leading by example
(30:55) Seeing things you didn’t see before
(34:33) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Speaker 1

Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. We hope you enjoyed yesterday's episode, episode number 1,738. Today, for episode number 1,739, there's a reason they say don't meet your heroes. Alan and I were thinking of content. We said okay, let's do a hyper-conscious episode. So for those of you who might be new or newer, this podcast used to be called the Hyper-Conscious Podcast back up until, I think, 2019, maybe 2000, I don't know. Right around episode 500, I think we switched.

Speaker 2

Brandon came on the team while it was hyperconscious.

Speaker 1

I believe that was December of 2019.

Speaker 2

No, because December of 2019 was. Here we go. Top Notch Live, okay, right.

Speaker 1

No, no, no.

Speaker 2

That was January of 2020 was Top Notch Live, yeah, and the tail end of 2020 is when we rebranded. I think.

Speaker 1

Okay, well, I know that when we did the 500 episode celebration, we were next level you.

Speaker 1

So, I think it was between 400 and 500, I think, when we switched. So just a little awareness for everybody. But this used to be the hyper-conscious podcast where we said change the way you think, change the way you act, change the way you live. And then we said nobody knows what the hell Hyperconscious means. I loved it Still. My favorite name Artwork was cartoonish. Still loved it. I still think it's the best artwork of all time. I do, I'm biased, but I do.

Speaker 1

But we were talking about okay, well, what kind of episode should we do? What are we going through? What stories do we have? And Alan said why don't we look back into an old episode and do a new take on it? And while this isn't exactly what it is, while we were looking back on our old content, alan said can you read off some of the titles? What were we talking about back then? And I said yeah, yeah, okay. And Alan said can you read off some of the titles? What were we talking about back then? And I said yeah, yeah, Okay, this was whatever Growing Pains.

Speaker 1

And then this was a guest and I said isn't it interesting how a lot of the guests that we had on we kind of excited to meet and to get to know and to talk to behind the scenes, potentially hang out with behind the scenes and this isn't everyone, I'm not saying this about everyone, it's definitely not everyone.

The truth comes out

Speaker 1

It's the minority of the people, not the majority. But we realize that one of the reasons people say don't meet your heroes is because when you see someone online or it's a sports person or on stage, or you read their books or whatever it is you are the one that is forming some sort of expectation of that person and as you get closer to someone, you get closer to the truth. We used to say that all the time, the closer you get to someone, the closer you get to the truth. And then you spend time behind the scenes with someone when they're not their self-improvement self and they're their real self or whatever it may be, and we've had a lot of experiences where we've left very disappointed and I told alan, I said I'm going, you know if you're listening, if you're listening to this episode.

Speaker 1

I'm actually in toronto right now and I said evan, evan carmichael's one that never I just kicked something out of my desk never shifted for me. One of the things I'll say when I interview him and I introduce him for podcast growth, you is something along the lines of the more I've known Evan, the more respect I've gained for him. Because he just tells the truth, even if it doesn't make him look good, even if it's not the best for perception, I feel like he just kind of tells the truth. I messaged him a few months ago and said hey, ev, question for you, what would you suggest we do to get more speeches? And he said send 100 times more messages than you're sending. And I said this in joking on a previous episode. That's an Evan Carmichael thing to say. That is the advice Evan Carmichael would give you 100 times zero baby.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah right, we're doing it. We took the advice, we're doing zero messages.

Speaker 1

I love that. I love that advice. I appreciate that advice because he's one of the top speakers in our industry and he could have you know a lot of other people who have done far less speaking than him have a $500 course on how to get more speeches. You know what I mean? Yeah, the three quick tips to and I've made it to the top of the spanking game.

Speaker 2

Oh, you charge, two, you charge. You ever hear this one, you don't charge enough yeah, yeah, of course yeah, I think that's not the problem I seriously. That's why I seriously don't think that that's the problem. But that's a kev, let's unpack that why do you let's go through at least three or four, like let's unpack. Why that advice is so good, seriously?

Speaker 1

because it's it's the truth most in a world where everybody is trying to sell you their thing, he is just telling you the unsexy fundamental that nobody else could sell. Imagine if somebody was selling a course. Is it Occam's?

Speaker 2

razor. Yeah, the simplest explanation is the most likely. Right, it's most likely, yeah.

Speaker 1

In a world where everybody's trying to say do these three steps, do these five steps, do these seven steps, use this language, click this thing, it's this thing, it's this thing, it's this thing, when someone comes out and says look, I know you think you should send one message and then get like a million dollar speech, but that's just not the way it works. You got to send a hundred messages a day, every single day, for the rest of the year, and you might get 10 speeches.

Speaker 2

Probably not even yeah, if you're.

Speaker 1

If you're lucky, if you're lucky, you'll get 10. If you're lucky, if you're lucky, you'll get 10. Number one it's real. It's real advice based on experience and knowledge. That's one. Two it relies purely on effort and consistency, and you have to go.

Speaker 2

He's leading by example 100%.

Speaker 1

And you don't have to go buy something.

Speaker 2

He's not asking you to do something he's not doing. Right, right, that's a big one for me.

Speaker 1

That he has more credibility than anybody who has ever slid in my DMs and offered me some sort of speaking hack. He has far more credibility.

Speaker 2

Okay, why?

Speaker 1

Because he's spoken on stage with.

Speaker 1

The best speakers in the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And been paid a lot of money to speak, which everybody else is advertising. But he didn't say anything about that. He didn't mention paid. Didn't say anything about that. Didn't say you're going to get $100,000 speech. Didn't mention any of that. That you can tell where it's coming from Some people I said this on a podcast the other day Somebody said where can people find you?

Speaker 1

Where can they learn more? And I said just email me. Just email me. Here's my email kevin at nextleveluniversecom. I'll answer you. You can ask me questions. You don't have to pay me to answer questions Now if you send me a 25-minute audio message, I don't have to pay me to answer questions Now.

Importance of accurate, effort-based advice

Speaker 1

If you send me a 25-minute audio message, I don't know, maybe, maybe I'll say this would be more beneficial for us to hop on a coaching call. Right, that's a potential, but I want to help. So the degree I help, the degree I'm capable of helping, is the degree at which I draw the line where I'm going to respond and you can tell when people are in it to help and you can tell when people are in it just to make money and Evan's not in it to make money. That's another big one. But you and I we've spent time with him behind the scenes. We've been out to dinner with Evan. I'm going to spend a lot of time. From my understanding, I'm going to be with him a lot when I'm up there. I of time, from my understanding, I'm going to be with him a lot when I'm up there. I'm excited, I'm not nervous that, like I really hope, when we go to this place. You know it doesn't change, because we've had mentors in the past that we spent time with behind the scenes that were just not good people.

Speaker 1

When you say fraudish, yeah, what did mean the difference between the person that they portray and then the person that they are behind the scenes? It's almost like an act. It's almost an act. It's like they're an actor or an actress and their social media or their appearances or whatever it is, is when they're that character, and then behind the scenes they're completely different. Now, look, I'm not saying that. I'm the same exact person that I am on this podcast on a Sunday morning with my wife. I'm not saying that, right, I'm not saying that.

Speaker 2

But the delta is not that big.

Speaker 1

Well, my morals and my ethics and my values are the same. Yeah, that's really what I'm saying is I'm I'm not, yeah, yeah, I'm not toxic when I'm not on the microphones. Do I kid more, sure, 100? Do I swear more? Yes, 100, yes I do. Do I? I do swear more when I'm not on the microphones, but not like a drastic yeah, I might throw an f-bomb out more often, because it'll be funnier if I say the thing that I'm saying with the f-bomb in fairness, right, but that that that's why people say don't just be careful who you meet. Now again, I'm not saying I'm not saying that it's always going to be that way. We've met some amazing people who I respect way more than I thought I would behind the scenes because they're just really, really good humans. But it's gone the other way too. It's gone the other way.

Speaker 1

Shout out to David, I'm going up to Toronto. And David messaged me, heard on the podcast he lives in Toronto and he said hey, man, let's meet up when you come up here. And I told Alan I was like I'm going to try to do it. Maybe we'll be able to get a lift in. I don't know what my schedule is, so I'm a little bit nervous based on the amount of time I'll have, but I'm going to try to lift while I'm there. I might as well get a lift in, and I'm super excited to meet someone from the community. Again, we've met David. We met him at Evan Carmichael's meetup one time.

Speaker 2

But I'm super excited for that.

Speaker 1

I love meeting the NLU community. I love it Because I could just be myself. That's the best. I do also have a giant fear of disappointing people, as we know. That has always been. One of my fears is I don't want somebody to meet me in person and then think I'm way worse than they thought I was going to be. But you can take that too far.

Speaker 2

Where I wanted to go with this episode is because Kev asked he always does. He's like. Well, what's the value to the listener, which I appreciate.

Speaker 1

That's the whole point of this.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it's the whole point of this. Yeah, it's the whole point, which even that in and of itself is like rarer than I thought. To be honest, I had one podcaster literally say to me he's like dude, I don't really care about my listeners.

Speaker 1

Same. I remember being like yeah, yeah, one of my favorite lines. I don't know if this is even for me, then this is something we have never once said. Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever once said to a guest.

Speaker 2

Here's how you sell to my audience never.

Speaker 1

We have never, ever, ever, ever said that one time and I get emails like that all the time. I don't I don't care. I'm good, thank you. I don't need to sell to your audience. I'm going to add value and then if somebody finds, if somebody finds it impactful or moving or they resonate, they'll come listen to the podcast. Awesome. I'm not trying to get a million people to come coach from this podcast. That's not what. That's not what I'm here to do you know, it's all syntax.

Speaker 2

Number one is add value, number two is practice craft. Number three is if it's aligned and I do one and two it would be nice to also coach more people.

Speaker 1

That's fair.

Speaker 2

That's great. Wanting to coach more people is wonderful, but it's the syntax that matters. I'm here to add value and serve. Number one. I'm here to practice my craft. Number two and improve as a person, as an orator, as a speaker, as a trainer, as a coach. And then number three if someone also wants to coach and they want me to help them be more successful and fulfilled, great, awesome, reach out.

Personal integrity

Speaker 2

Okay, what I wanted to do, speaking of success and fulfillment, is this is the thing that I've realized, because Kevin and I have talked a lot about what's the right amount of truth, and this goes into the whole moral, ethical dilemma of where do you draw the line of privacy? So we're public figures, quote unquote. We're on a public medium. Anyone in the world can access this for free on YouTube or on Spotify or on Apple podcasts or all the platforms. So I have an ethical, moral, spiritual, philosophical obligation to be as truthful as I possibly can on this microphone. But now there's context, there's who's listening, there's things that can be taken out of context, there's am I allowed my own private thoughts that I don't have right? So this is where it gets, because I always say I've never once lied to me and I never will about anything. I mean, I've made that rule with myself, but first that means I can't lie to myself. And so there's this framework called the primary truth, secondary truth, tertiary truth. Some people remember this from past episodes, some people that are new won't, but it's a game changer, because here's my truth you cannot be fulfilled, myself included, while being fraudulent. I don't believe fulfillment can exist without authenticity with self. I believe that we are fulfilled to the extent that we are truthful with self.

Speaker 2

Emilia and I had a challenging discussion recently where and I told her this I said we woke up this morning, I was talking about it and I said this is what I do in my mind. Whenever her and I are not on the same page about anything and or we have some sort of challenging conflict or or a contentious moment not like a crazy blowout or fight or anything like that we don't do any of that, but but disagree moments I go into my consciousness and I say am I upholding the standard that I need to uphold in my own moral, ethical standard for the partner that I want to be? Am I my best self? Am I being my best self in this relationship? Have I been my best self in this relationship? Have I been my best self in this relationship? And if the answer is no, okay, what percentage? Okay, I'm eight out of 10. So I'm an eight out of 10 of my best self, okay, so where's the two? And how do I improve that? And then the other part of it. And then I take ownership for the two, the delta between eight and 10, I take ownership.

Speaker 2

Honestly, I haven't been communicating well. I've been spread thin, I haven't gotten good sleep. You've been taking care of the fur babies more than me. I'm jeffing on kitchen man like whatever. It is okay.

Speaker 2

But then simultaneously and I get why this is so hard I have to also say what part of this is not mine, like where? Uh? And here's the two questions to give everybody and this is relationship stuff, but I'll bring it back number one does she deserve better than this? Yes, she does, and I'm going to improve. Okay, alan, get better, take ownership, get better, boom, but sometimes Boom. But sometimes I have that question and I go no, I am my best self and I am a magnificent partner, and lately I've been showing up in all my greatness for lack of better phrasing. I mean, if anything, please compare me to other men, because I need you to know what you know. So so, uh, cause you can get fall down the rabbit hole of like standard up the ante, up the ante, up the ante, like there is no, I'm not perfect, but there's nothing to complain about here right now, lately, okay. So so if there's no delta.

Speaker 2

So number one is does she deserve better than this? And normally it's yes, normally it's yeah, alan, you're jeff. And here's where you're jeff and go work on it, own it, work on it every now. And then we'll have a point of contention where it's like no, and then I ask the second question. So the first filter we got through.

Speaker 2

And the second question is do I deserve better than this? And sometimes it's like yep, and I'm like, okay, I'm being treated unfairly, and not the unfairly like you took my toy, like as a kid. I mean unfairly, meaning this is really not, not okay or sustainable and, truth be told, I'm being treated in a way that I don't think is valid or or um justified. I'm being treated unjustly and, again, not much, right. This is not like poor me, right. But that's the second part.

At NLU, we want you to win! So, we're giving tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM.

Speaker 2

And then that's where I have to hold the mirror and I say, sweetheart, from my perspective, x, y, z, and do you feel like you've been at your best lately? Because I need to know if she feels the same way. And she'll be like no, I said zero to ten, she said four. I said okay, cool, all right, good, because I've been guilty in the past of taking all the ownership and then working on it and realizing nothing got better because I wasn't the root cause of the challenge. Okay, so what does all that mean? All I'm doing in that is making sure that who I am being in my relationship with Emilia and what is matching up with who I think I am and what I say I am.

Speaker 2

And this brings it back to the framework, the tertiary truth. Tertiary truth is who you want others to believe you are. Secondary truth is who you want to believe you are. Primary truth is who you really are, and what Kevin and I have found with.

Speaker 2

When he says fraud-ish, what he means is people who think they're better than they are. It's basically this people who say they're better than they are, portray they're better than they are. Then they think they're better than they are, and then we get behind the scenes and go, whoa, there is a hell of a freaking delta there. Now we're not expecting human beings to be perfect, genuinely like I've not always been perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not just saying that because I want you to think that I know that.

Self-reflection and true energy

Speaker 2

It's like. I'm not kidding the. The amount of humble pie I've eaten in this lifetime is ridiculous, but that's what true energy is. Humility is honestly, I've been sucking lately and that is life and I'm going to go own it and I'm going to go build from there and do better, because Emilia deserves better than that, or Kevin deserves better than that, or our listeners deserve better than that. Not out of fear of I need to be what other people want me to be, but out of I'm going to take the higher road and I know that that's what's best for the world and for me in terms of fulfillment. It's not always what's best in terms of short-term success.

Speaker 1

That's the hard part. That's the hard part that always what's best in terms of short-term success, yeah, that's the hard part. That's the hard part. That's why, when someone says, what does success mean to you? It's like, well, it's different than it used to be. It's different than it used to be. It's not. I again, I like, I like nice things and I value money and I value possessions. I do, I do. I want nice cars and I want a nice home. I do, I do, but not at the detriment of my morals or ethics or character or fulfillment. And, honestly, sometimes I'm not as fulfilled as I'd like to be because I'm doing stuff that not that's unaligned or misaligned, it's just a lot. It's just a lot going on, and sometimes I put my fulfillment to the backseat of something else. I'm okay with that from time to time, but not morals and ethics. There are certain things you can never come back from. There are certain things If you cheat once, you're a cheater. I'm not saying you'll cheat again and I'm not saying you'll ever cheat again.

Speaker 2

And you're not saying that it's unforgivable, and you're a horrible human forever and that there's no redemption. That's the extreme. You can redeem yourself and become a better person through adversity. Right, Definitely.

True fulfillment

Speaker 1

When I was in high school, I came very, very, very close to cheating on one of my partners. Very close, very, very close. It was designed so I could and then I didn't do it Because I thought to myself this isn't a, it's not, it happens and then it's done. It's Then. If anybody ever asks you and you want to be in alignment, hey, have you. Even if it's just in casual conversation, maybe it's a new partner. Have you ever cheated before? So I'm just going to lie and say no. So now I'm lying, now I'm a cheater and a liar. Oh, brutal. And I never, ever, ever, ever, I never wanted to do that. There are certain things you just can't. You can't come back from Potential next level social media client messaged me and said hey, can you send me some results, some of the benefits of working with you?

Speaker 1

And I was like, yeah, of course, let me. I'll screenshot a couple things. Some we have some data and the program you use, sure, and I had a moment where I know exactly what some of the people not everyone, everyone, again, I'm not saying this is everyone would do. They would go right to the accounts that are the ones that are spending hundreds, if not thousands of dollars per month on ads and screenshot of those and those are the first I checked off of like all right, we can't. That's not one. That's not one. That's not one. That's not one. You know how easy it would be to do that. Nobody, that's not one. That's not one. That's not one. You know how easy it would be to do that. Nobody would know. This potential client wouldn't know, they'd have no idea. How would you know? You couldn't, you couldn't. So that's why this is such a wonky thing. It's a very, very, very, very, very fine line.

Knowing someone's character

Speaker 2

If you want to know someone's true character, the only way to figure that out is to look at who they surround themselves with and look at the opinions of those people. Like, if you want to know who I really am behind the scenes, you have to ask Emilia, you have to ask Kev, you have to ask the people who have seen me behind the scenes. And not all of it's pretty. I understand that it's good, bad and ugly, but I'll tell you what? That If you saw me once at Next Level Live, you don't know all of me, right. And so there's this one person who is a hero of mine in many regards and who still is, who still is.

Speaker 2

And I learned from a lot of different people in the space and I've realized how naive I was in the past, especially when I got to the self-improvement industry, because I came from corporate where I saw a lot of shady shit. And then I got to self-improvement I was like, oh, this will be, this will be different. Yeah, no, just as much shady shit, seriously. Yeah, which is so depressing, by the way, but it's another episode. Where was I going with that? I was naive. Oh, yeah, one of the. I still have like a list of heroes for lack of better phrasing that have not yet fallen from the pedestal, and one of them I now am smarter and I know what to look for and he has this team of incredibly empowered, wonderful, holistic, heart-driven women, and I'm not referring to youv, although we also have that we do, which is so awesome.

Speaker 2

But if you really want to know who's a great leader and and I want to share this because this person's extremely famous this person is super wealthy and I met, so I used to watch videos of this person and I used to watch their content and I'm really trying not to give this away because genuinely I don't want to, but Kevin and I met one of his team members in person and I'll never forget this as long as I live. We're at dinner with this woman who works on this person's team and she said I'm telling you right now he is exactly who you think behind the scenes, like I work with him. I've met his wife. I'm telling you right now he is exactly who you think Behind the scenes, like I work with him. I've met his wife. I'm at his house, like she actually was in one of the recordings of one of the videos that I watch, and I was like holy crap. And then we got to meet her. That was cool. That was during the phase of you and I like meeting our heroes and we've met many of them, and this person's a wonderful human too. And she said I'm telling you everything that he says he does Everything he says to do in his trainings and his books and his stuff he does behind the scenes. I've watched it, I've witnessed it and now he has a way bigger team. I mean back then I've just watched it grow, but it's a lot of women and I think that if you want to know the truth about any leader, if you want to know the truth about any leader, you look at the team, you look at the friends, you look at the integrity of the community. You can tell a lot about who you surround yourself with.

Speaker 2

Guilty through association is a thing, and you and I have purposely, literally filtered ourselves out of some toxic environments where I'm embarrassed, we were ever even in them. To be honest with you, yeah, same, but we, we who we surround ourselves with, who we filter out and don't and who we decide to be around, are the best people we can find. And I'm very proud of the nlu team, I'm very proud of the nlu community, I'm very proud of who we've, the standard we've set for this integrity thing and this authenticity thing, because, while we're not perfect and it's very hard to transcode something at the top of the funnel and then be the same behind the scenes. That's like nearly impossible in many regards. But if you can make sure you're not hypocritical, one of my biggest challenges in this life is some of the advice that I give to other people is actually not what's optimal for me.

Speaker 2

A lot of the things that I do on a daily basis I'm not even kidding Kev, this is like a genuine conundrum. I've never even talked to you about A lot of the habits that I do that I track. I'm actually tracking because I can't authentically teach them unless I track them, even though they're not actually optimal for me. But they are optimal for me because my goal is to lead by example and help people. So it's like but if I wasn't a part of a community and this integrity thing wasn't so big, I would do other things like so, for example, if you're out there and you've never invested your money, the last thing I would tell you to do is what kevin and I have done with our money.

Integrity, authenticity and leading by example

Speaker 2

Like putting all your eggs into one basket with one company is not intelligent for most people. That's why I would say that like if if someone comes to me and they do all the time ask me for money advice, I don't ever say to do what we do, like what we did was very reckless and optimal for us but not for everybody else, and so I have to say that disclaimer before I I literally say I'm not using that anymore. I have no longer been doing that anymore, but I still think you should. But I need you to know that I'm not doing that every day, and that's why I use the Dreamliner every day. Part of it is I can't sell it if I'm not using it. I can't sell it as well if I'm not using it. But the Dreamliner wasn't designed for me. It's designed for our community, and so that was a big crying episode on one of our huddles Point of contention.

Speaker 1

Yeah, that would be a good way to put it.

Speaker 2

That was a tough one.

Speaker 1

Yeah, that was a tough one. I think we had at least one, if not two, new team members at that point too and I was like, hey, welcome. This hasn't happened in years, but sometimes it happens and you know we always reconnect better than before, always. I think that's a really good point. The team and the associations, I think is really, really, really important. I think it's a really valuable yeah, I think it's really valuable.

Speaker 2

I've been with partners in the past business partners, friends, intimate partners where it was like I don't know if I am really proud to be with you. You know, I've never once had that thought with you, amelia, never once. I don't think I've ever had it with you either.

Speaker 1

There's a, there's a thought, though you said I don't think with her, it's more obvious because I've never seen her do an unintegrous thing in my entire life.

Speaker 2

If anything, she's more integrity-driven than I am, but with you I don't think there's ever been a moment where I've been embarrassed to be with you, to be a business partner with you to be with you I mean we are legally tied at the hip, so we are together literally, not Just a different way.

Speaker 1

That's it.

Speaker 2

I just For me that laugh was indicative of something else coming.

Speaker 1

It was a very just. The laugh stopped and then you looked at me.

Speaker 2

No, I think this is it, man. This is the thing. What is growth? Right? You're imperfect, and then you raise your standard, and then you get better Toward that standard, and then you screw up again yeah, yeah, yeah, and you try to become more and more of your true self over time.

Speaker 1

Yeah, yeah I don't want this to be an episode on judgment. This is because this is the truth. There are still things about me that I'm not happy with. Same, you know, I just haven't I'm not fully unconditioned on those things yet, but that's, that's something I'm working on every single day. So that really is it. At the end of the day, when you grow, you see things that you didn't see before, yep, and that's awesome.

Speaker 1

But it also sucks. Sometimes there's there's pain, there's pain associated with it, and sometimes the reason it sucks is because you're looking back and saying, wow, I can't believe I was blank, or I said blank, or I treated blank this way. So that's a piece of it too. Right, we're not talking about that in this episode. I think we I mean, I like to think we talk about ourselves and our failures in almost every single episode, but that's par for the course, and sometimes our mistakes are not are hoping someone is what we want them to be more than what they actually are, and that can be a very, very dangerous game to play. That would be the last thing I would say.

Seeing things you didn't see before

Speaker 2

One of my deepest pains right there. Yeah for sure. Looking, I wanted to look up, I wanted to, and again, I think this stems from not having a dad. You're right, everyone's dad is their hero, right?

Speaker 2

We saw some of that at the nlhf yesterday I don't know if I'd say everyone I'd say I'd say many, many and I think that at least growing up and not anymore. But I used to want so desperately a hero and it's just. And then you eventually become your own hero and I think that that's hopefully that's where everyone feels like they've gotten to. And if not, what's why, what, what, what do you? What would need to be kevin? And I playfully joke. He's like I just I can't not tell the truth to a detriment at times. Even the last episode when you said seven years, I actually calculated to make sure it was seven because I didn't want to spend the rest of our business career saying, hey, we spent every Father's Day together. We've been in business for nine years, but only eight years Father's Day.

Speaker 2

It's like I didn't want to have to explain it, but the truth is I have to. If that was the case, I would have to. So instead I calculated it to make sure it was actually true, and in the past I've been guilty of embellishing. I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to put sunglasses in my pocket and steal them. I'm done with that. I could not walk out of that Target when I was 18 or 19 or whatever age I was with a head held high. That stuff erodes your self-worth. It erodes your. You can't be fulfilled and steal, I'm convinced of it. You can be pleasure and ego and significant, but I don't think you can be fulfilled. I really don't. I think fulfillment is universal and I think fulfillment comes from being an authentic, best, unique version of you.

Speaker 1

I would concur. I would concur with that Next 11 Nation if you would be so kind to leave us a review. We would appreciate that very much. Make sure you are subscribed so you never miss an episode of NLU, whether you're on your podcast platform of choice or the old YouTube machine where you can see our mugs. We have a private Facebook group called Next Level Nation. We would love to have you in there. If we're talking about a positive community of human beings, next Level Nation is 1,000% that, so we'll have the link in the show notes. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Speaker 2

Continue becoming the best version of you.

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host